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Uh, sure. I guess. But I think those exceptions are so uncommon that noting them would be missing the forest for the trees. You can be 500 pounds and still get a chick- you can be a psychotic murderer/beater and still get a chick.

... you can be Steven Hawking and still get a chick. The super majority of people on this planer really are not undatable, and for those that are, only a few small life-style changes can fix that.

Daemonhammer wrote:
Just found this on the internets, not quite sure how to react;

That guy is acting like a jerk, insisting when she clearly not interested.

 BlaxicanX wrote:
It's an inconvenient truth that attraction starts skin-deep. You can have a gak personality and still attract members of the opposite sex if you're conventionally attractive, whereas you can have a great personality and struggle to meet women if you're over/underweight, short, have skin conditions etc. Feminists like to pretend that that's not the case

I am not sure where you got that.

 Cheesecat wrote:
I disagree, there's some people who are so hideous, have such an unpleasant personality, etc they never find a significant other and they go there whole life never touching another person's genitals except when they're coming out of their mom's vagina during childbirth.

Well, except when they go in the morgue.
…what, you said they have an extremely unpleasant personality, is it not what people with an extremely unpleasant personality do?

sirlynchmob wrote:
I think it helps to point out that women have the same problems when it comes to dating as men do.

Well, not exactly. Apparently, their problem is avoiding all the awful propositions from awful people and getting quality propositions from interesting people. While if a man does not do any kind of propositions and wait for them, unless he is incredibly hot or rich, I guess he can wait for quite a long time, even for unwanted ones.

 Hybrid Son Of Oxayotl wrote:

I am not sure where you got that.

Got what, exactly?

That feminists pretend it is not the case. I should have highlighted that part.

Ah.

In my experience, the idea that disrespecting women and/or just having a gakky personality in general for various reasons will result in being unable to pick up women is a patently false sentiment that I've heard from Feminists very often.

It's not just Feminists granted. Lots of people wish attraction was more romantic than it often is, I guess.

Actually, I think it is a sentiment you would hear from a lot of women, because no-one wants to acknowledge getting into a relationship with jerks. And I guess few men would acknowledge getting into relationships with jerks either.

I've predominantly heard it from Men as criticism of other men, myself.

Here's some advice.

When sending nude pictures of self, don't upload them to the iCloud

 thenoobbomb wrote:
When sending nude pictures of self, don't

Fixed that for you .

 Hybrid Son Of Oxayotl wrote:

 thenoobbomb wrote:
When sending nude pictures of self, don't

Fixed that for you .

Naturally.
But should you ever go through with it..

 BlaxicanX wrote:
Uh, sure. I guess. But I think those exceptions are so uncommon that noting them would be missing the forest for the trees. You can be 500 pounds and still get a chick- you can be a psychotic murderer/beater and still get a chick.

... you can be Steven Hawking and still get a chick. The super majority of people on this planer really are not undatable, and for those that are, only a few small life-style changes can fix that.

Yeah, you're right I being captain hyperbole over here.

 Cheesecat wrote:

 BlaxicanX wrote:
Uh, sure. I guess. But I think those exceptions are so uncommon that noting them would be missing the forest for the trees. You can be 500 pounds and still get a chick- you can be a psychotic murderer/beater and still get a chick.

... you can be Steven Hawking and still get a chick. The super majority of people on this planer really are not undatable, and for those that are, only a few small life-style changes can fix that.

Yeah, you're right I being captain hyperbole over here.

Except I won't date those types of people.

Too interested in my definition of beauty.

I read that some people aren't sure what to say after "Hello".

If you want to be a good conversationalist, this is what you do.

1. Start with a greeting so the person knows you are going to talk to them.
2. Ask them a question.
3. Listen closely to the answer.
4. Ask a follow-up question.
5. Listen closely to the answer
6. Add a related comment about your life which ends with a question.

By asking the questions, you are constantly moving the conversation forward. If you show a genuine interest in someone else then the conversation will continue.

Thanks for the helpful advice, Easy E.

 Easy E wrote:
I read that some people aren't sure what to say after "Hello".

If you want to be a good conversationalist, this is what you do.

1. Start with a greeting so the person knows you are going to talk to them.
2. Ask them a question.
3. Listen closely to the answer.
4. Ask a follow-up question.
5. Listen closely to the answer
6. Add a related comment about your life which ends with a question.

By asking the questions, you are constantly moving the conversation forward. If you show a genuine interest in someone else then the conversation will continue.

YEPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP

Basically.

The entirety is that basically, start a conversation and keep it.

She will usually intiatie the goodbye, and before she leaves, tell her that you hope to meet soon.

If she replies, give her your digits. but do it in a way so that its not seen as weird or obtuse.

 Easy E wrote:
I read that some people aren't sure what to say after "Hello".

If you want to be a good conversationalist, this is what you do.

1. Start with a greeting so the person knows you are going to talk to them.
2. Ask them a question.
3. Listen closely to the answer.
4. Ask a follow-up question.
5. Listen closely to the answer
6. Add a related comment about your life which ends with a question.

By asking the questions, you are constantly moving the conversation forward. If you show a genuine interest in someone else then the conversation will continue.

Is that a cold approach or does it apply to someone you know

gak that's a good approach for any one any time ever.

That seems quite like some parody of Tinder!
(A bit NSFW, but stick figures… Also curse words.)

 KalashnikovMarine wrote:
gak that's a good approach for any one any time ever.

Yep, pretty much. That's why almost exactly the same technique like, 20 pages ago!

I know right? Worth repeating though. I like to shorten it to

"Shut up, ask questions, pay attention."

Three steps. Six words. Not that hard people.

Well, I might as well ask here.
I'd just like to say, I'm not one to post my problems on the Internet. I have no form of social media, and am subscribed exclusively to THIS forum.
I'd like to note, I am 15. And confused.
I've never really understood the entire point of 'dating', even marriage seems just a mannor of owner-ship, granted a two-way one.
Anyway, For the last two odd years, I have been good friends with a girl. Recently, she invited me to the cinemas.
I accepted. On the weekend, We saw the movie, guardians of the galaxy, had lunch and spent an hour or two in an arcade.
After returning to school, a number of her friends began making comments suggesting me and her to be a couple. She seemed somewhat annoyed by this.
Later she suggested we see another movie together, to which I responded positively.
The thing is, a few day later, and a few days ago, she told me (I don't remember what we were talking about) that she has a boyfriend in America. She also had a picture. This was surprising.
For one thing, I had begun to consider that she may be attracted to me, for another, it was rediculously out of the blue. She'd never talked about this person before, and a friend of hers who I talked to hadn't heard of him. a friend of mine has theorised that she may be lying to make me jealous, but honestly, i can't imagine some one being so attracted to me as to lie. (let's just say that I'm not the skinniest, or tallest tenth grader.
I'm confused, and random people on the Internet seem the best people to ask advise.

Random people on the internet ALWAYS have the best advice.

So there's a few ways to proceed to here. I'm going to throw out a brief analysis and some options.



Analysis: This is just my two bits based on the snap shot you gave us. Chances are she's actually involved with Mr. Murrica, and has been for a little bit. She might not have had the guts to tell any one about it, or was just keeping it to herself for privacy reasons, but her getting annoyed when people were suggesting you two were a couple seems to support the idea of another player. Telling you could be her way of ensuring the air's clear as you continue to hang out, if it's really not something she's told other people* then it could also be a sign of her trusting you. Which is a good thing.

Option 1: Roll with it. Just keep seeing how things go. You're friends, you enjoy each other's company, while listen to the gossip?

Option 2: The Full Revy option is of course to check your charge distance and, stand back kids this is a revolutionary concept, just talk to her about it. There's a million misunderstandings in this world that could all be cleared up in an instant if the people involved just had a chat about it.

Side note, don't rag on yourself too hard about your height or weight. We're our own worst critics on such things, so how you see yourself is never how other people see you for one, and for two no matter how you are that doesn't mean people won't like you as is. She clearly enjoys your company eh? So you can't be all that bad.

*Here in the states at least there's a long running gag about people with boyfriends/girlfriends in Canada, or any other foreign climb and place actually not having SOs and making them up to seem cool. I'm guessing there's a local equivalent just about wherever you go, mix that with continuing stigma against online relationships and there you go. Plenty of valid reasons to play your romance tight to the vest.

 KalashnikovMarine wrote:


Side note, don't rag on yourself too hard about your height or weight. We're our own worst critics on such things, so how you see yourself is never how other people see you for one, and for two no matter how you are that doesn't mean people won't like you as is. She clearly enjoys your company eh? So you can't be all that bad.

100% true. I was talking to my co-worker about after seeing my hair buzzed cut I might shave it completely. She said it looked fine and I should keep it like that. I told her Im balding. She laughed and said "You are? I dont see it, you are imagining things" and everyone else agreed I was imagining it.
Its like Micheal Jacksons Nose. We saw a perfectly good nose. He saw a giant monstrosity that had to get fixed. Its like that tiny spot on your shirt you are afraid everyone will notice. They really wont

 Cheesecat wrote:

Word.

Instead of reading the whole book, just read this:

Fundamental Techniques in Handling People
1. Don't criticize, condemn or complain.
2. Give honest and sincere appreciation.
3. Arouse in the other person an eager want.
________________________________________
Part Two
Six ways to make people like you
1. Become genuinely interested in other people.
2. Smile.
3. Remember that a person's name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
4. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
5. Talk in terms of the other person's interests.
6. Make the other person feel important - and do it sincerely.
________________________________________
Part Three
Win people to your way of thinking
1. The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
2. Show respect for the other person's opinions. Never say, "You're wrong."
3. If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
4. Begin in a friendly way.
5. Get the other person saying "yes, yes" immediately.
6. Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
7. Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
8. Try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view.
9. Be sympathetic with the other person's ideas and desires.
10. Appeal to the nobler motives.
11. Dramatize your ideas.
12. Throw down a challenge.
________________________________________
Part Four
Be a Leader: How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment
A leader's job often includes changing your people's attitudes and behavior. Some suggestions to accomplish this:
1. Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
2. Call attention to people's mistakes indirectly.
3. Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
4. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
5. Let the other person save face.
6. Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be "hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise."
7. Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
8. Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
9. Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.

 Easy E wrote:

 Cheesecat wrote:

Word.

Instead of reading the whole book, just read this:

Fundamental Techniques in Handling People
1. Don't criticize, condemn or complain.
2. Give honest and sincere appreciation.
3. Arouse in the other person an eager want.
________________________________________
Part Two
Six ways to make people like you
1. Become genuinely interested in other people.
2. Smile.
3. Remember that a person's name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
4. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
5. Talk in terms of the other person's interests.
6. Make the other person feel important - and do it sincerely.
________________________________________
Part Three
Win people to your way of thinking
1. The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
2. Show respect for the other person's opinions. Never say, "You're wrong."
3. If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
4. Begin in a friendly way.
5. Get the other person saying "yes, yes" immediately.
6. Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
7. Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
8. Try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view.
9. Be sympathetic with the other person's ideas and desires.
10. Appeal to the nobler motives.
11. Dramatize your ideas.
12. Throw down a challenge.
________________________________________
Part Four
Be a Leader: How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment
A leader's job often includes changing your people's attitudes and behavior. Some suggestions to accomplish this:
1. Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
2. Call attention to people's mistakes indirectly.
3. Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
4. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
5. Let the other person save face.
6. Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be "hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise."
7. Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
8. Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
9. Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.

Funny how it says dont criticize because sometimes in order to be a friend you sorta have to criticize to help your friend. Of course its called constructive criticism.

 Asherian Command wrote:


Funny how it says dont criticize because sometimes in order to be a friend you sorta have to criticize to help your friend. Of course its called constructive criticism.

You're being a friend. He's winning friends.

So my coffee date for tomorrow has challenged me to a duel, rapiers, at 10:00 sharp. I am now rather excited for this date. Hot redhead, wants to stab me or be run through by me in turn... I'm in!

 daedalus wrote:

 Asherian Command wrote:


Funny how it says dont criticize because sometimes in order to be a friend you sorta have to criticize to help your friend. Of course its called constructive criticism.

You're being a friend. He's winning friends.

Hahaha. Yeah i am just unlucky i criticize myself more than other people, and people view that in quite a negative light. (for some reason)

I mean I am confident in my abilities, but not too confident, I know what I can do, and what I can't do.

 KalashnikovMarine wrote:
So my coffee date for tomorrow has challenged me to a duel, rapiers, at 10:00 sharp. I am now rather excited for this date. Hot redhead, wants to stab me or be run through by me in turn... I'm in!

speaking generally,

I'd suggest trying to keep the scores close, then you can schedule another date for a rematch.

the more you win, the less the odds for another date.