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Made in ca
Regular Dakkanaut





Toronto

I am a grade 12 student.
I am strong academically. I am "attractive," etc, I am physically active.
I love Warhammer, Warmachine, DzC etc, but they just take up so much time and net me no friends. I want to join various clubs and organizations in university and get a stellar GPA.
I struggle to find friends who share my interest in wargaming but also lead a lifestyle that is similar to mine in other aspects. If I just dropped wargaming I can imagine how easy life would be; a close friend group, more time to get involved with clubs, more free time for a gf etc,
but I am EXTREMELY passionate for wargaming. It is something I have loved since I discovered it. There is just something amazing about collecting an army and gaming with it on the tabletop that nothing in life can beat (RTS computer games come close I guess.)

Is anyone else in my position? Should I quit Wargames? I feel like they hold me back from excelling at other parts of my life. Does anyone have any advice on how to get the most out of wargaming without letting it take away from the rest of life? I imagine a lot of people on this forum struggle with this.
   
Made in us
Longtime Dakkanaut





I'm also a genius, very sexy--people tell me I look like Brad Pitt with Down Syndrome and I am also physically active.

Why not just limit the amount of time you spend on wargaming? I feel like this isn't rocket surgery.

This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2015/06/04 05:56:36


I RIDE FOR DOOMTHUMBS! 
   
Made in gb
Avatar of the Bloody-Handed God






Inside your mind, corrupting the pathways

Wargaming does not have to take up that much of your life. Most people manage to juggle work, kids, partners and other interests while still playing the odd game and building and painting the odd model or unit.

Most universities have a wargaming society that may meet once a week. The rest of your time is up to you - fill it with what you will; sports clubs, film clubs, study, etc.

   
Made in gb
Decrepit Dakkanaut





Nottinghamshire

Wargaming is allowed to take up so much of your life because you are in grade 12... Do not worry about it so much.
When things like income, jobs, children, partners, mortgage and rent factor into your life, you'll see the balance shift naturally. The more hideous responsibility thrust upon a person, the more adaptable they generally become.

If you're worried that you're too invested, set yourself a schedule. "Fridays 8pm-3am is hobby time" or whatever.

T'all be reet.



[ Mordian 183rd ] - an ongoing Imperial Guard story with crayon drawings!
[ "I can't believe it's not Dakka!" ] - a buttery painting and crafting blog
 
   
Made in gb
Contagious Dreadnought of Nurgle





I struggle to find friends who share my interest in wargaming but also lead a lifestyle that is similar to mine in other aspects.


Eh?

Wargaming is a hobby like any other. Life is not all about GPA's and not everything is about gaining friends. Do what you enjoy and life will be much better.

 insaniak wrote:
Sometimes, Exterminatus is the only option.
And sometimes, it's just a case of too much scotch combined with too many buttons...
 
   
Made in de
Decrepit Dakkanaut





Try wargaming with a child, a wife and a full-time alsoonweekend job.

Wargame as much as you can as long as you're still young and have more free time.

   
Made in jp
[MOD]
Anti-piracy Officer






Somewhere in south-central England.

^^ What he said!

I took a 10 year break from wargaming to get married, move house, start a family, etc.

I don't have nearly as much time for it now as I would though that is partly from developing other interests too.

I'm writing a load of fiction. My latest story starts here... This is the index of all the stories...

We're not very big on official rules. Rules lead to people looking for loopholes. What's here is about it. 
   
Made in nl
Pragmatic Primus Commanding Cult Forces






Do whatever seems the most fun. I used to be in the same position as you are until I discovered one of my best friends also secretly loved 40k. So I got lucky I guess, but really, this is a question only you can answer.
If you have to choose between wargaming, sports or a club at the university, choose that which you know you'll like the most (search your feelings )
You can also pick a middle-of-the-road approach. Just take your most favourite wargame and only play that one. Make a weekly schedule in which you allocate a few hours to that game, and the rest of the time to your other activities. Just take it slow, even with just a few hours a week you should be able to get an army painted in a few months, and after that I am sure you can make time for a game every few weeks.

Also, if you are short on time, don't play computer games or go on the internet. At least for me that is by far the biggest timesink.

This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2015/06/04 13:48:03


Error 404: Interesting signature not found

 
   
Made in ca
Preacher of the Emperor




At a Place, Making Dolls Great Again

Yeah when I stopped doing it, and devoted my life to creepy dolls, I got friends, a girl I...am not romantically involved with but we do it.
Gold toilet, private rocket ship, all of Phil Collins albums.
I didn't choose the doll life, the doll life chose me.

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Made in us
Shas'o Commanding the Hunter Kadre





Richmond, VA

It's not hard to simply play 1-3 games max a week, or whatever your schedule allows. Our FLGS has a wide range of diverse players, many ages and professions. They mostly set aside Wednesday evenings to play at the store. My view, if you can't set aside a little time for a hobby/entertainment/whatever, you're working too hard.

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Made in us
5th God of Chaos! (Ho-hum)





Curb stomping in the Eye of Terror!

MaxZ.

Do whatever makes you happy. Life is too short.

Another way to look at this, is this: Friends (and significant others) isn't something that you "collect"... they're just passengers to what you do in your life. If they want to be a part of it? GREAT! If not, keep doing what makes you happy... it'll come.

Live Ork, Be Ork. or D'Ork!


 
   
Made in us
Krazed Killa Kan




Homestead, FL

I am a Retired US Marine, I have 3ish (Son about to be born) kids and a wife. Im a full time college student and my wife is still Active Duty in the USCG. I work out at least 3 times a week and spend as much time golfing with my buddies as possible. With that said I still get in a handful of 40k games. At the moment I am resetting my life because we just got PCS'd to Miami, FL but very soon here I intend to be playing every weekend barring social engagements.

Do whatever makes you happy buddy, if people call you a nerd just point out how much @ss you get and politely ask them to go Feth themselves

I come in peace. I didn't bring artillery. But I'm pleading with you, with tears in my eyes: If you mess with me, I'll kill you all

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Made in gb
Troubled By Non-Compliant Worlds






Yeah...First priority - Be yourself! I get stick all the time by one sister over liking 'tin soldiers' as she points out every birthday of mine. (and I've just hit the big one)...and you know what - I don't care. Her expression when I told her what I'd sold my Epic 40 minis for was priceless!
   
Made in us
Decrepit Dakkanaut





 whembly wrote:


Another way to look at this, is this: Friends (and significant others) isn't something that you "collect"... they're just passengers to what you do in your life. If they want to be a part of it? GREAT! If not, keep doing what makes you happy... it'll come.


By that same token YOU are just a passenger in your friends' lives

I'm sure most of us could all list out the "things" in our lives that could all play potential to us not wargaming "enough" or not doing something else "enough"

if the OP is a high school student now and feels this way, I really feel he's in for a rude awakening.
   
Made in us
5th God of Chaos! (Ho-hum)





Curb stomping in the Eye of Terror!

 Ensis Ferrae wrote:
 whembly wrote:


Another way to look at this, is this: Friends (and significant others) isn't something that you "collect"... they're just passengers to what you do in your life. If they want to be a part of it? GREAT! If not, keep doing what makes you happy... it'll come.


By that same token YOU are just a passenger in your friends' lives
.

Indeed.

Just do what makes you happy... you'll find that regret will be lower.

Live Ork, Be Ork. or D'Ork!


 
   
Made in us
Decrepit Dakkanaut






I've met some very hot looking moms and dated quite a few

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Made in au
Anti-Armour Swiss Guard






Newcastle, OZ

You're in grade 12.

Surely there are other things you could be doing?

I know I sure as hell wasn't gaming much when I was 18. I had other things to do (40k did not exist when I was 18, btw).

The former head of my games club started to freak out when we started losing the 16-18 year olds (I told them they'd come back when they were in their 20s if they still wanted to game).

It's just that age when there's sooo much more competing for your attention than games and there's no shame in leaving the hobby for a time. If you want to game, you'll be back.

I'm OVER 50 (and so far over everyone's BS, too).
Old enough to know better, young enough to not give a ****.

That is not dead which can eternal lie ...

... and yet, with strange aeons, even death may die.
 
   
Made in us
Powerful Pegasus Knight





Omaha

Do whatever you want, but don't quit something your passionate about just because you can't find friends that share the same feelings for it as you do. If you want to take a break, do it. Join some clubs, play some sports and go to school again. There will always be time to do what you love to do, and nothing can take that away. You might need to schedule it and prioritize what you want to do when and where but it can be done. I took a break from playing wargaming games for many years, but I have been building and painting my many armies for 17 years and have never stopped.

You ask if any of us are in your position, and the answer to that is probably everyone at one time or another. Do what you enjoy, not what you think you "have" to do. Sometimes you find out that doing what you want to do gets you farther than doing what you think others will think is more socially acceptable.

"Success is not final, failure is not fatal, it is the courage to continue that counts."  
   
Made in us
Regular Dakkanaut





I think you're going to get even more flak for the way you came off in your post, just a warning.

You're 18 and if you think the way I thought when I was 18, then there is probably no point in convincing you of anyway because you're completely right about everything and you know it. Also you probably just graduated high school and will be going on to college, likely away from home for the first time. You might know what major you'll study and what job you want to have but that probably sounds incredibly far away. If that's all true then you might just be going through a lot of mixed emotions about everything right now.

Of all the things I told myself I should do before I finish school, I've done almost none of them. I hate learning to play an instrument. I hate learning other languages. Turns out that neither skill would have helped me anyway.

GPA isn't that important. I'm a month away from my phd and my gpa was about 3.5 throughout all of college. It's low for the standard and hasn't had much of an impact.

Every college has a wargaming and/or model train club. I found out about this through the nearby model train store. There are plenty of options out there for you.

I never liked the idea of going to a game store, especially after the gf turned into the wife (kinda felt like I was abandoning our limited free time). Plus I thought everyone there was so competitive and not too much into the hobby aspect. You don't have to game to keep with the hobby if you much prefer making that huge, fully painted army.

I kept my mouth shut about my silly childish hobby since I got into it. I overheard a guy talking about 40k a week before he was moving. So much fun I could have had if I spoke up.

If you are looking at a hobby as a huge time sink that isn't worth the cost, then do you even actually like the hobby? There is a quick answer to this and a less obvious answer and they may be two different answers, so think carefully. To me, if you're treating wargaming as a big time waste for other things that you want to do then you probably consider painting, modelling, and reading rules a chore too.

If you really think you should be doing all those other things then go do them. If you really like this hobby then you'll figure it out and you won't lose anything from it.
   
Made in us
Guarded Grey Knight Terminator





 whembly wrote:
MaxZ.

Do whatever makes you happy. Life is too short.

Another way to look at this, is this: Friends (and significant others) isn't something that you "collect"... they're just passengers to what you do in your life. If they want to be a part of it? GREAT! If not, keep doing what makes you happy... it'll come.


I don't know many people I hang out with just to hang out with. But I have a bunch of very good friends who I wargame with, workout with, and work with (not all the same people). I don't need to dedicate time to hang out because I see them regularly, and that's not to say that I don't randomly hang out with some of them either (just, from when I roll out of bed, drive to work, work, eat lunch, work some more, go to the gym, drive to various errands, then go home, it's typically a 12+ hour day and I'd like a few hours to relax on my own before I go to sleep). Wargaming is mostly relegated to weekends, except for maybe the occasional hour of random painting or model assembly. It's all about learning to balance things.

I am the Hammer. I am the right hand of my Emperor. I am the tip of His spear, I am the gauntlet about His fist. I am the woes of daemonkind. I am the Hammer. 
   
Made in jp
Fixture of Dakka





Japan

"attractive"? we need pictures so we can assess that claim
So the other players are not friends? Cut back on the hobby, change to card games? stop wargaming and play videogames, or stop wargaming become a jock and bully the gamers always a sure way to success

Squidbot;
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Made in au
The Dread Evil Lord Varlak





Just do what you love, and fit it in among what work you have to do.

Over my life I’ve noticed people are very quick to blame their hobbies when it’s clear they didn’t work enough. An example that stuck in my mind is a friend outside an exam, who was panicked about how unprepared they were, and thought it was because they agreed to be part of a second D&D game. But that game was one night a week, and this friend spent hours on the internet every day, and even more time around at a mutual friends drinking and talking total nonsense for hours on end. The time he wasted just screwing about was so easily forgotten, he didn’t realise how much time he sunk in to it. That’s an extreme example, but it applies to almost everyone I’ve ever known who’s complained they don’t have enough time – how many of them watched an hour or two of tv every night, or sunk time in to Facebook or other internet time wasters?

The point is that there is almost always enough time for your work and your passions, especially in high school. What people are generally short of is motivation and energy. So, basically, if you want to get good grades, and paint & play miniature games, and join a highschool club or two, then do all those things. It’ll require a lot of energy, of course, and if you can’t be bothered that’s fair enough.

But then at least you’re in a position to honestly say ‘I’d like to wargame, but between my studies and my clubs, I just don’t have the energy’.



 whembly wrote:
Another way to look at this, is this: Friends (and significant others) isn't something that you "collect"... they're just passengers to what you do in your life. If they want to be a part of it? GREAT! If not, keep doing what makes you happy... it'll come.


This is great advice.

“We may observe that the government in a civilized country is much more expensive than in a barbarous one; and when we say that one government is more expensive than another, it is the same as if we said that that one country is farther advanced in improvement than another. To say that the government is expensive and the people not oppressed is to say that the people are rich.”

Adam Smith, who must have been some kind of leftie or something. 
   
Made in us
Regular Dakkanaut





This is what I read your thread as:

I am attractive, awesome, cool sexy, famous and waaaaaay better than you, but please help me with this first world problem because I seem to can't use my awesome social skills to persuade my peers to join me in my hobby

OP just do an AMA so that people can just be perfect as you are

This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2015/06/05 08:02:11


 
   
Made in us
Thane of Dol Guldur




Just remember: Hobbies won't pay the bills, but schooling just might!

Keep everything in moderation, and set your priorities wisely.

This message was edited 3 times. Last update was at 2015/06/05 11:30:32


 
   
Made in us
Longtime Dakkanaut






This whole notion of being too attractive or motivated for wargaming is kind of silly...there are definitely neckbeard gamers who get no play at all (in fact there's a thread in OT it), but then there are guys who make good money and have no problem pulling women. Wargaming does not preclude you from having active professional, social, and sexual lives.

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Made in us
Thane of Dol Guldur




 NuggzTheNinja wrote:
This whole notion of being too attractive or motivated for wargaming is kind of silly...there are definitely neckbeard gamers who get no play at all (in fact there's a thread in OT it), but then there are guys who make good money and have no problem pulling women. Wargaming does not preclude you from having active professional, social, and sexual lives.


Wargamers are just like all other people...just maybe a little more nerdy on the whole.

And there's more than enough women for every "neckbeard" out there!

This message was edited 3 times. Last update was at 2015/06/05 13:59:47


 
   
Made in de
Joined the Military for Authentic Experience






Nuremberg

Yeah, the opening bit about being so fit and attractive made me grin a bit. But I guess kids will be kids.

OP: If you feel that way, you can always put the models away for six months and go do other things. Wargaming will still be here when you come back.

Personally, I made some of my closest and longest lasting friends through gaming in University, and I don't regret any of it.

   
Made in us
Decrepit Dakkanaut






New Orleans, LA

In college, study. That's first priority.

Depending on your field of study, do at least one internship, summer or otherwise.

Around your study time, meet people. Join groups. Talk to girls. Play intramural sports. Play computer games. Play warhammer. Paint some minis.

Stop worrying about gak. You'll figure it out.

But do your damn homework.

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