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2022/08/23 20:34:08
Subject: Mini-Movie Reviews- What You Are Watching.... in Miniature
I still think us Star Wars fans got off light, the animated Transformers film was brutal and borderline evil, kill kids toy heroes to sell them new ones
"AND YET YOU ACT AS IF THERE IS SOME IDEAL ORDER IN THE WORLD, AS IF THERE IS SOME...SOME RIGHTNESS IN THE UNIVERSE BY WHICH IT MAY BE JUDGED."
2022/08/23 20:46:39
Subject: Mini-Movie Reviews- What You Are Watching.... in Miniature
I still think us Star Wars fans got off light, the animated Transformers film was brutal and borderline evil, kill kids toy heroes to sell them new ones
RIP Prowl and Ironsides, I never forgave Kup for taking over Ironsides role as the old vet dude who's seen everything.
This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2022/08/23 20:48:05
2022/08/25 09:51:40
Subject: Mini-Movie Reviews- What You Are Watching.... in Miniature
Why have I never watched this before? It’s just wonderful, in every sense of the word. Great cast, solid performances, tight direction.
Baffles me how It somehow flew under the radar, despite having some names attached, maybe wrong time and/or weak publicity, but you've put it right now so good job
Love, Death + Robots
The third season is again a mixed bag, but that's to be expected with anthology shows, and the return of the robots from S1 was fun, 7/10
Predator
After the mild surprise of the well doneness of Prey I thought I'd give Arnuld's a nostalgia watch, yes its dipped in pure 80's cheese but still a lot of fun and reminds you of how off the boil the franchise went after the second film
This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2022/08/25 14:58:16
"AND YET YOU ACT AS IF THERE IS SOME IDEAL ORDER IN THE WORLD, AS IF THERE IS SOME...SOME RIGHTNESS IN THE UNIVERSE BY WHICH IT MAY BE JUDGED."
2022/08/25 15:18:58
Subject: Mini-Movie Reviews- What You Are Watching.... in Miniature
Flinty wrote: I think Iron Chef might make up the perfect trifecta of batgak crazy kung-fu films
Good sir, have you heard of the glory of Kung Pow : Enter the Fist?
I know of no kung fu movie as crazy as it.
So Steve Odekerk (I'm sure I misspelled his remarkable last name) got the rights to a few kung fu movies from the 60s. He edited them together with himself as the hero, and did most of the dubbed voices.
I've never met anyone who liked it, only those who love it, and those who hate it.
Klawz-Ramming is a subset of citrus fruit?
Gwar- "And everyone wants a bigger Spleen!"
Mercurial wrote:
I admire your aplomb and instate you as Baron of the Seas and Lord Marshall of Privateers.
Orkeosaurus wrote:Star Trek also said we'd have X-Wings by now. We all see how that prediction turned out.
Orkeosaurus, on homophobia, the nature of homosexuality, and the greatness of George Takei.
English doesn't borrow from other languages. It follows them down dark alleyways and mugs them for loose grammar.
2022/08/26 02:56:06
Subject: Re:Mini-Movie Reviews- What You Are Watching.... in Miniature
There's never likely to be a perfect movie, but it is distinctly possible that Maverick is the perfect sequel.
It retains the military accuracy (very little,) and slightly homoerotic bonhomie (quite a lot,) of the original and sets it in an even more bonkers set of circumstances.
You see Russia ,Chinathe enemy have built a secret underground bunker, and it needs destroying before it gets stocked and becomes a giant nuclear volcano or something.
The difficulty of the approach is such that only one man in the Navy has the experience of all the required mission elements, but he's old now, so he needs to teach a bunch of young up'n'comers to do what previously only he could do.
Lord help me Maverick, you're going to Top Gun.
What follows, if you've any affection for the original, a couple of hours of pure joy. The script is laden with call backs and nostalgia, sometimes with a surprising amount of nuance for an 80s kid out for its last hurrah before going back to sensible shoes and economical family cars. What's not in the least nostalgic are the action sequences however, much has been said about the lengths the cast and crew went to to retain authenticity and it's all up there in screen.
They even manage to squeeze in a topless sports sequence on the beach!
I can't see how this will garner any new fans, although in isolation the cheesy feel good elements and actions sequence may still be enough for some. Some parts are laughable, not least of which is the painfully generic terminology used to avoid pinpointing the nature of the enemy or their "fifth generation fighters." Doubly so when a Hind Gunship, a helicopter as iconically Russian as the Apache is American, pops up in the final act.
But for an 80s kid that loved the original (and had a crush on Kelly McGillis all the way until he saw Witness*) it's difficult to imagine how it could be better.
*Talking of love interests, has Jennifer Connolly just stopped aging?
We find comfort among those who agree with us - growth among those who don't. - Frank Howard Clark
The wise man doubts often, and changes his mind; the fool is obstinate, and doubts not; he knows all things but his own ignorance.
The correct statement of individual rights is that everyone has the right to an opinion, but crucially, that opinion can be roundly ignored and even made fun of, particularly if it is demonstrably nonsense!” Professor Brian Cox
Iran doesn't have "fifth generation fighters." Nor does the geography in the film really fit.
It could be Iran, it could also easily be Afghanistan, China or Russia. That's sort of the point.
We find comfort among those who agree with us - growth among those who don't. - Frank Howard Clark
The wise man doubts often, and changes his mind; the fool is obstinate, and doubts not; he knows all things but his own ignorance.
The correct statement of individual rights is that everyone has the right to an opinion, but crucially, that opinion can be roundly ignored and even made fun of, particularly if it is demonstrably nonsense!” Professor Brian Cox
Around half way through and I’m pretty sure the twist is about as twisty as something not at all twisty, and indeed telegraphed more than The Daily Telegraph.
But. All things considered? It seems to be far better than it has any right to be. Not in the same “why is this film which should be crap so good” sense as say, A Knight’s Tale. But still a pretty solid effort.
Bad guy is cheesier than a Brie sandwich, but kind of fittingly so.
Nearing the end. Definitely give this a watch, as it’s good fun. Stallone isn’t phoning it in, and seems to be having a great time.
This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2022/08/26 09:24:06
Fed up of Scalpers? But still want your Exclusives? Why not join us?
.) Shaolin Soccer is better than Kung Fu Hustle, even though Kung Fu Hustle is pretty good. .) Kung Pow is good when it does what's at the core of it (ie being MST3k taken one step further, and standing on the shoulders of such giants will work. It's also done very well at that.). There's some stuff which isn't as good like the whole cow thing, which is dreadful and reeks of marketing.
There, now that that's settled...
@Maverick: Haven't seen it, but I hear mostly good things, and I'll probably enjoy it once I see it some time down the line. The thing about the 'baddies' is funny, isn't it. For almost a quarter of a century we can't have national baddies any more. Even Terrists don't quite work any more. The most obvious baddies for Hollywood films would be China, but then of course there's tons of Chinese money involved in making Hollywood films and China's still viewed as an important market. That must suck. Maybe Hollywood should just agree that it's all Thanos' fault. He wants to .... destroy our planet. That's good. That's what everybody can get behind, no matter the regime or vision of society one has (as long as they got money to pay for streaming services and cinema tickets.).
Still on NYPD Blue, still enjoying it, Sheeri Rappaport is quintessentially late 90s pretty AND a bit insane as well! Oh well. I read that some people didn't enjoy Kim Delaney's character and acting. These people don't know things. She's almost at sipowiczian levels of being the heart and soul of that show. In fact, they're awfully similar characters.
This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2022/08/26 11:06:43
Kid_Kyoto wrote: Good point about villains. Can't even use Neo Nazis lest half the country assume you're talking about them
Yeah, you can't even villainize fans of authoritarian totalitarism out of fear they may feel insulted. Also of course - you never know what markets to serve in the future. Nothing more annoying than offering your streaming service to a country with an extreme right-wing regime and having to cut bits which disparage such regimes.
Few days ago I had a little chat on Facebook about people not sweating or not being very human in general any more in hollywood blockbuster films. Reminded me of an article from last year and I even dug it up: https://bloodknife.com/everyone-beautiful-no-one-horny/
Rather interesting (even though some stuff goes a bit far. I won't dispute that if people feel afraid somehow they develop some sort of cult of the body, but to connect that to the fall of the British empire soundsa bit weird). In that way all these films nowadays are weirdly remniscent of 50s/60s films. Doris Day and Rock Hudson were also impeccably dressed and combed, but as chaste as Captain America and Black Widow. And somehow I feel that all the superficial diversity works in the very same direction. That merely covers target audiences and happens for the sake of marketing and PR. There's nothing progressive in there.
The Eternals was the horniest Marvel movie. And while most of the characters were pretty and dry, Druig seemed ugly and metaphorically sweaty enough to make up for three or four heroes.
And Marvel learned its lesson: never do that again.
I think about that "And no one is horny" article a lot. I think it speaks to the creeping sexless kiddy friendly Disney-fication of pop culture generally, yes, but much more alarmingly to me, of the internet itself as it becomes increasingly corporatised. I grew up in the 1990s/early 2000s, when the internet was an exciting, user defined open range, and it's so disappointing to see what it's being corralled into now. We somehow have the worst of all worlds, where very literal neo nazis can use huge platforms to preach stuff that used to get them banned back to Stormfront with their tail between their legs, and that's fine so long as they don't erroneously use a predefined slur, but a photo of somebody's own boob will get them sent into exile forever.
Movies are just a symptom of this wider and imho dangerous push coming from a mixture of weird puritans and corporations/brands who need to terraform the medium before they can take it over entirely. You can't advertise lootbox games to pre teens on the same platform they might scroll past a wang, and you can't spent 150 million dollars on a movie that can't have a lootbox game, or might not be screened in X, or whatever. It is wild how rare and tame sex scenes are now vs what regularly cropped up in any random action movie in the 1980s.
BobtheInquisitor wrote: The Eternals was the horniest Marvel movie. And while most of the characters were pretty and dry, Druig seemed ugly and metaphorically sweaty enough to make up for three or four heroes.
And Marvel learned its lesson: never do that again.
Yeah. Oddly enough the horniest-feeling MCU property I can think of before that might have been Winter Soldier? Steve and Nat had legit chemistry Marvel's never mustered up again. Probably because of, rather than in spite of, the fact they weren't actually meant to be love interests.
This message was edited 2 times. Last update was at 2022/08/26 16:45:11
2022/08/26 16:53:58
Subject: Mini-Movie Reviews- What You Are Watching.... in Miniature
I want to see more of what you folks are watching, because I'm tired of sexualized crap being squeezed in sideways, and could use a break from it. Or at least a break from scrolling past it.
Azreal13 wrote: *Talking of love interests, has Jennifer Connolly just stopped aging?
You didn't really think she made it out of the Labyrinth without making a deal with the goblin king, did you?
This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2022/08/26 16:54:15
Efficiency is the highest virtue.
2022/08/26 17:23:56
Subject: Mini-Movie Reviews- What You Are Watching.... in Miniature
I want to see more of what you folks are watching, because I'm tired of sexualized crap being squeezed in sideways, and could use a break from it. Or at least a break from scrolling past it.
Azreal13 wrote: *Talking of love interests, has Jennifer Connolly just stopped aging?
You didn't really think she made it out of the Labyrinth without making a deal with the goblin king, did you?
Best not to over think that one as both Top Gun and Labyrinth came out in the same year which makes Mav;s "high speed pass" a little suspect...
"AND YET YOU ACT AS IF THERE IS SOME IDEAL ORDER IN THE WORLD, AS IF THERE IS SOME...SOME RIGHTNESS IN THE UNIVERSE BY WHICH IT MAY BE JUDGED."
2022/08/26 19:05:20
Subject: Mini-Movie Reviews- What You Are Watching.... in Miniature
If we’re getting into the internet in regards to that article, I found something funny a while ago when I was searching to see if the actress from Jurassic World was the same actress from an episode of Black Mirror: the internet loves her when she’s thick. The horny internet is all about her bass, which I find hilarious since the studio apparently forced her to lose all the weight in order to increase her sex(?) appeal. Even more ironic is that she was cast as the co-lead apparently for her looks while (Archer’s fetish fuel) Judy Greer brings more energy, charisma and somehow sex appeal to her role as the divorced mom, in the same movie. It’s just bizarre to me how detached the studios are from the audiences.
Casualty wrote: I think about that "And no one is horny" article a lot. I think it speaks to the creeping sexless kiddy friendly Disney-fication of pop culture generally, yes, but much more alarmingly to me, of the internet itself as it becomes increasingly corporatised. I grew up in the 1990s/early 2000s, when the internet was an exciting, user defined open range, and it's so disappointing to see what it's being corralled into now. We somehow have the worst of all worlds, where very literal neo nazis can use huge platforms to preach stuff that used to get them banned back to Stormfront with their tail between their legs, and that's fine so long as they don't erroneously use a predefined slur, but a photo of somebody's own boob will get them sent into exile forever.
Movies are just a symptom of this wider and imho dangerous push coming from a mixture of weird puritans and corporations/brands who need to terraform the medium before they can take it over entirely. You can't advertise lootbox games to pre teens on the same platform they might scroll past a wang, and you can't spent 150 million dollars on a movie that can't have a lootbox game, or might not be screened in X, or whatever. It is wild how rare and tame sex scenes are now vs what regularly cropped up in any random action movie in the 1980s.
BobtheInquisitor wrote: The Eternals was the horniest Marvel movie. And while most of the characters were pretty and dry, Druig seemed ugly and metaphorically sweaty enough to make up for three or four heroes.
And Marvel learned its lesson: never do that again.
Yeah. Oddly enough the horniest-feeling MCU property I can think of before that might have been Winter Soldier? Steve and Nat had legit chemistry Marvel's never mustered up again. Probably because of, rather than in spite of, the fact they weren't actually meant to be love interests.
Oh, don't get me started on how much I used to love the internet and how much I came to hate it. It became the worst anybody could fear. From a parallel world of freedom (for better or worse) to an all-encompassing entity owned by five or six companies which seem to keep a strangehold on the real world.
Harry Potter 7.0 Harry Potter and The Lethal Stuff
This is a dark film. No not the plot (3 or 4 minor characters die, but not even my daughters cared) but literally dark. Like Zack Snyder on a cloudy day wearing sunglasses dark. Did no one tell them there are colors beyond blue and grey and sometimes beige.
Gotta say if Britain really looks like that (there's a lot of moors, like a lot, like half the movie is moping around moors) I can kind of get why all y'all were so eager to get out and invade the rest of the world.
Like the other Potter films perfectly serviceable adaptation (except for one plot point that gets cut so Harry basically pulls a rescue out of his butt). And honestly if you've seen Harry Potter 1-6 like you're going to skip 7.0?
2022/08/29 01:39:06
Subject: Re:Mini-Movie Reviews- What You Are Watching.... in Miniature
Or "What If Old Rocky Had Superpowers?" or, or "We bought this when we bought MGM, what do we do with it?"
It would be easy to rag on this movie, and I was tempted to, but the reality is it's harmless enough action movie by numbers for the main part, and has one or two redeeming features, so I'll be a little kinder.
First, the bad: it's predictable, oh boy is it predictable. It's also clearly a cynical attempt to cash in on the popularity of other franchises. There's an attempt at digital de-aging that's painful to watch.
The good: The cinematography is great. It's isn't in your face, but shots are often framed in a similar manner to comic panels. I really liked the production design as well, from the cars that look like they were snatched of the backlot from the original Verhoven RoboCop to the back streets, alleyways and appartment buildings that evoke the sorts of movies that Stallone made at his height. The broken, ageing hero is Stallone's wheelhouse these days, and he's perfectly solid, the antagonist is the guy who played Yuron Greyjoy in Thrones and is every bit as watchable, even the kid who provides the eyes of the audience is likeable enough, not an easy thing with child stars.
A much longer list of good than bad, but please don't think this film is anything special. The tragedy is that the more interesting story, about two superhuman brothers who react so differently to their upbringing that they end up diametrically opposed for the control of their city, happens well before the film and is only explained in voice over while the opening credits run, but maybe the film will do amazingly and we'll get a prequel.
If I'd paid to see this in a cinema I'd be less sanguine about the whole thing, but for an evenings' mostly mindless entertainment, there is worse.
We find comfort among those who agree with us - growth among those who don't. - Frank Howard Clark
The wise man doubts often, and changes his mind; the fool is obstinate, and doubts not; he knows all things but his own ignorance.
The correct statement of individual rights is that everyone has the right to an opinion, but crucially, that opinion can be roundly ignored and even made fun of, particularly if it is demonstrably nonsense!” Professor Brian Cox
Cadre Coronal Afterglow w1;d0;l0 
Also of course - you never know what markets to serve in the future. Nothing more annoying than offering your streaming service to a country with an extreme right-wing regime and having to cut bits which disparage such regimes. 