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I tend to be stubborn about watching stuff to the end.

I’ve never walked out of a screening (unless you count the recent sequel to Unbreakable, and that was due to a cinema malfunction), and other than Dodgy Horror Films Of Yesteryear, I’m genuinely struggling to think of films I’ve not watched all the way through.

I would say I watch most things all the way through because it's very hard to let go of my inner completionist, but there are exceptions and most of them have been DCEU productions. Aquaman? Ww1984? Snyder cut Justice League? All aborted.

Barbarian

Firstly, it's a remarkable thing that I watched this on D+ UK, this service has come on in leaps and bounds since the introduction of the Star sub channel a while back.

As for the film? Well, it's a little disappointing. A lot of the buzz around the film is centred on its unpredictability, and so to try and preserve that I'll skirt around plot details beyond mere spoilers.

This is a horror movie, but, true to the marketing, it does take several twists and turns which mean that wherever you think it's heading, you're probably wrong (albeit less so as things progress.) Some of the camera work in the opening act does a great job of manufacturing tension out of very little. Broadly, the problem of horror movie characters acting illogically to put themselves in peril is avoided, anything perilous normally occurs as result of sound and clear reasoning.

There are other things I liked, but will skip to preserve the surprises and not chop the post up with spoiler tags.

Downsides? I really don't like Justin Long as an actor, although he is at least playing a character most people will struggle to like, it's also one of those whiny, entitled types he always seems to play. Some of the scenes seem to unwittingly cross the line into parody. The horror seems to be aiming more towards the Saw/Se7en end of the spectrum, but I struggled to take it seriously at times.

This taints the whole thing, which is a real shame as there's some genuinely interesting ideas here, much of the film feels fresh, even if it's retreading well work ground. If I could have taken some of the scenes more seriously, I could be talking about this film as a watershed moment in the genre. But as it stands it is more of a curio that, while worth seeking out for fans of the genre, falls just a little short of what might have been.

 BobtheInquisitor wrote:
If they had ended the film shortly after the White House scene, it would be more fondly remembered. Cheetah was great there. Then her arc went off the plot.

IDK. I'll forever remember Diana's final speech at the end for it's incredibly shallow and patronizing take on people and agency.

It shows a supreme sort of arrogance on the part of whoever wrote it and thought it was compelling. It's someone who I can't help but think has never truly struggled or faced any real strife at any point in their life. If they did, they walked out a sociopath.

A parent with a child dying of leukemia, will never give up the chance to just wish their dying child to health.

A single parent about to be thrown out on the street when the bank forecloses on their house is not going to give up the money they wished for to pay off their debt and send their kids to college.

A generically brown terrorist man whose first thought when told he can wish for anything and his first idea is to wish for a nuclear bomb is not going to give that up because a strong white woman told him it was wrong to take shortcuts in life.

The entire ending of 1984 is a cluster feth of what happens when privileged people born into prosperity who have never struggled try to monotize the plight of the commons for the sentimentality of people like themselves. It's a fethed up display of arrogance and self-righteousness that the world and it's problems are never the fault of people with power and wealth but always the unreasonable expectations of people whose kids are laying in a hospital dying in a healthcare system that bleeds them dry in the process.

That entire scene could be used in college courses as a textbook example of class guilt on full display and it's shocking to me that it was made and then acts so sincerely.

Says an awful lot about Gal Gadot and Patty Jenkins imo, and I was unshocked that WW3 was canceled on the heels of this complete collapse of judgement. The greatest sin elitists with no real life experience can commit is saying the quiet part out loud and they put the quiet part on a damn pedestal like it should have won an Oscar.

This movie deserves to be watched honestly, if only for all the horrible things it has to say about the society that produced it. It's the perfect image of many of our ills between its double standards, arrogance, and presumption that people who aren't living the perfect life should just accept it and not want better. There are good stories to be told about how we can deal with and manage the inequity of life, but this movie was not that story.

It all boils down to the US President’s nonsensical waste of a wish.

I mean….more Nukes doesn’t solve the problem, never has never will. Given the Wish? Why not wish for a peaceful resolution which sees advantage solely to the USA?

And when we get the Pleb Wishes, how come nobody is wishing for peace and prosperity, wishing cancer away etc. We just get rather heartless, greedy wishes shown.

It’s an interesting concept done incredibly poorly.

And where is the actual sacrifice play in rescinding Pedro’s wish? He basically wishes away his own greed. That’s it. That’s all he gives up.

They could’ve done it so much better. Have the stone initially grant three wishes. Have him save his kids life or something else ostensibly noble. The second wish for something of comfort, like vast wealth. The third wishing himself to be the stone with its associated powers.

I mean, Villain Motivation is often DC’s stronger suit, especially the like of Victor Fries. But here, there’s just none of it. I get it’s meant to be a critique of 80’s “Greed is Good” attitudes, but it just falls flat. Instead we get caricatures in place of characters. We get random decision made instead of personal motivations.

We even see points where it starts going off the rails. The villain is confronted by his investor, who’s figured out it’s kind of a pyramid scheme, borrowing from Peter to pay Paul. Yet, rather than get that guy to wish The Villains’ investments paid off? We get pantomime villain drivel.

How much better would it be if The Villain was more a metaphorical Golden Goose, being used by already rich folk to increase their own wealth, complete with the toll it takes on his body and mind.


Automatically Appended Next Post:
Santa’s Slay

Bill Goldberg plays evil Santa and rampages through Smalltown, USA killing people. Because he’s actually a Demon, previously tricked into being Nice for 1,000 years.

It’s silly. Very silly indeed. And it shouldn’t stop. It’s not even pretending to take itself seriously, and is a joyous slice of silliness, swearing and even Rude Bits. And for all that, it’s actually really quite well made.

If like me you retain a childish sense of humour, there’s a lot to enjoy here.


Automatically Appended Next Post:
Anna and the Apocalypse



Part zombie movie. Part teen comedy. Part High School Musical. Didn’t know of the musical part at the start.

It’s really quite charming. Song and dance numbers whilst not my thing, are decently done. Bonus points for featuring Paul Kaye channeling some Mr Bronson from Grange Hill.


Being British and post Shaun of the Dead there is of course a heavy influence, and the influences Shaun of the Dead played on itself are evident The Musical element raises it up to be its own thing, rather than a simple knock-off with some song and dance tacked on in a crap attempt to disguise a knock off as something original.

Big bonus is an unknown cast, all of whom are solid in their roles.

Very very enjoyable!

Lightyear

After chopping up a half dozen of their ships I felt I should at least see the film. It is OK. Wrongheaded in some ways. But OK.

Buzz Lightyear accidentally strands a colony ship on a hostile world and breaks their one hyper crystal so they can't leave. So he vows to get them home and tries and tries again to make a replacement crystal.

Plot twist! Each time he tries minutes pass for him and years for the people on the planet. Decades go by, they build lives and now don't want to leave.

Plot twist! Now we enter a new movie as an army of robots invade and Buzz and a band of misfits have to defeat them and

Plot twist!

It is... OK. It didn't cause cancer and entertained me as made dinner. It's basically 2 Star Trek episodes strung together. The high concept is that is the 1995 movie that Buzz Lightyear toys came from but it really doesn't feel retro and that could have been scrapped (heck just make it a 2022 Toy Story in-universe Lightyear reboot film).

Loving the toys though.

Avatar: The Way of Water.

I wasn't all that impressed with the first film but I liked this one a lot more. It still has the faults of it's predecessor( the human threat is painfully underdeveloped, and the whole eco message is annoyingly preachy ) but somehow it manages to flesh out the world and characters of Pandora just enough to become a more interesting film.

I just watched 7Zatoichi movies over the last week or so.
zatoichi meets Yojimbo
zatoichi the Outlaw
Zatoichi : the festival of fire
Zatoichi at large
Zatoichi in desperation*
Zatoichi the conspiracy
Zatoichi meets the one armed swordsman

These were interesting and you might enjoy them. I marked In desperation in my list. To me it was the darkest of the bunch and illustrated just how nasty of a world Zatoichi really inhabits. He feels he has to do some good but it's mostly for not and he takes heaps of abuse for it emotionally and physically. He's put through the wringer.

Meets Yojimbo was the most fun of the bunch as he plays off Yujimbo really well as they are so much alike in many ways that they find it irritating, Yujimbo finds it more irritating as fits his character.
I got this boxed set in the early 00's and forgot about it until this marathon. I'm not sure just how many Zatoichi movies there are. Worth the watch if you can find them.

One thing of note is that most of the time Ichi is surrounded by at least 3 if not 4 assailants when the swords come out. But I have begun to think most of those guys got the minimum education is swords before they ran off to work for some boss. Like they know how to chop stuff but not so much how to fight.
Just found it amusing.

And before that I enjoyed the first three Shogun Assassin movies. worth the watch as well. The third one ended oddly with a big fight that made me laugh a little as it reminded me of a MXC obstacle course. Still lots of cool stuff in there but the payment process seemed to change after the first movie. It was something like for 1000 gold coins it will be done but later is was down to 500 for the next two movies. Or I am misremembering. I just found it funny. Lots of sword swinging and buckets of blood!

Scream (2022)

Remember Scream? Have you ever really wanted to watch the same film again, but with updated references, different actors and a slightly different story? Then have I got a film for you!

To call this a shot for shot remake would be a little harsh, and absent it's predecessor it would be a perfectly entertaining, well made slasher picture.

My one big issue is I remain unconvinced that essentially remaking a film is excused by using the meta, in-joke methodologies that it created to tell the audience that you know that's what you're doing. As such, this film is a cracked bowl, it looks fine but it doesn't have the same ring when you tap it. It's like a joke being told by someone who doesn't themselves understand the punch line. All the components are there but the delivery is lacking.

There are some quality franchise moments, but unless someone can completely refresh the the concept, it's probably best that this time the killer doesn't come back.

Kill Command

Kind of a Terminator Future War that should’ve been a Terminator Future War which sadly isn’t a Terminator Future War.

Marines vs Machines in a near-future setting.

There’s not a helluva lot to this, but it is rather good fun. Certainly it’s competently made.

Did I mention this should’ve been part of the Terminator franchise because it bloody well should’ve been.

 Mad Doc Grotsnik wrote:
Kill Command

Kind of a Terminator Future War that should’ve been a Terminator Future War which sadly isn’t a Terminator Future War.

Marines vs Machines in a near-future setting.

There’s not a helluva lot to this, but it is rather good fun. Certainly it’s competently made.

Did I mention this should’ve been part of the Terminator franchise because it bloody well should’ve been.

I concur. 👍

Moonfall

My wife and I wasted a rare free morning while the kids were at school watching this tosh. The graphics were super shiny, but the acting dialogue and situations were just terrible. Didn’t really care about any of the characters and any time they tried to redeem themselves it seemed wasted. 2 hours or so of “well I guess that might as well happen”.

Ready Player One

Couldn't be bothered to finish the print book and only got round to the audiobook in the recent no intertubes weeks due to moving

The film is a rare miss from High Lord Speilberg, to the fair the book isn't that good and Cline is, putting it politely, not right, but it had it's moments (and still a bit chuffed I got the 2nd ? clue, the Zork one)

The film is just all big bang level of geekdom, with all the characters being smoothed out, Wade is less of the dick, Art3mis is levelled down from super nerd genius to generic geek girl, H is mostly okay bar as case of "no fat folk" as cinema demands, and the Otaku lads was okay and wasn't sure if their book versions being very Japan stereotypes was part of their muddying their real life ID's or wobbly writing

The film challenges are just so stupid, yes the book stuff might have been to tricky to weave into a run time of a movie, but going backwards in a car race replacing a Jousts on mutant chickens against a Lich was ungood (and over looked Arty cracking it first)

And the ending, Mr S might be showing his age, switching off the internet 2 days a week so you can have cuddles is silly in the extreme, as Hallidays problem was being Halliday, more sane folks like Ogg and his wife managed the balance (also I love you Mr Pegg but accents arent your bag)

4/10 (and one of that is for the Charm of Making)

One thing that’s been oddly bugging me about WW84.

That two seater jet, with the seats side by side? Is that an actual real jet, or a contrivance for the movie?

Flight of the Navigator: It's one of those films I never really appreciated, because of my well-informed and well-meaning parents sitting me down in front of the tv and said "watch this, this is GOOD for you". They were right, but if you're a kid and your parents tell you that, it's a bit of an instant turn-off. Just like with the animated Lord of the Rings. I did appreciate that a bit more though. Not so much with Monty Python's Flying Circus, which I got to watch when I was very little (one of my earliest tv watching experiences), which gave me nightmares.

Wonder Woman: Yeah, it's a bit tosh. I don't remember much about it, but it was charming in a way. I like a sincerely good character.

Santa's Slay: I really enjoyed that film! Mostly for the insane lore they made up to turn Santa into a villain. Few years ago I watched Clown (the horror film in which a dude unwillingly gets turned into a clown, kinda like Tim Allen gets turned into Santa), and the silly backstory they made up there and the way it was presented reminded me quite a bit of Santa's Slay. The latter is more fun though and they go all-out on their premise. Which is a thing I can appreciate.


Another thing I appreciate: Warhead01's dedication to completeness. Only Zatoichi film I watched was the blonde Takeshi Kitano one.


Only thing I've watched recently was the David Brent Netflix special thing, which I'd watched a few years ago. Still blegh and manipulative and just gack. In the same time one could watch almost the entire Office series. Or the proper christmas special. Both eternally better than Life on the Road or what it was called.

3:10 to Yuma is on Netflix now, so I'll make sure to watch that one again. Because that's a cool film.

 Sigur wrote:



Another thing I appreciate: Warhead01's dedication to completeness. Only Zatoichi film I watched was the blonde Takeshi Kitano one.

Haha, too kind. It's probably my brain damage. I hadn't actually dug in to that one at all. I just have that old boxed set. However, I am a fan of his movies which started with MXC on spike tv way back when. Yes I realize that's a bit silly but it lead me eventually to the movie Sonatine through a music video by Aphex twin. The film and that music together were a perfect fit. And later to Battle royale. He was also in Ghost in the Shell.. I didn't even realize that. I should find a few more of his movies to watch.

After posting about the Zatoichi flicks Youtube has been pushing his show into my feed. I'm not against it I just need time for it which I don't have right now. I hadn't considered that He had a show but it does explain the large number of movies.

 Mad Doc Grotsnik wrote:
One thing that’s been oddly bugging me about WW84.

That two seater jet, with the seats side by side? Is that an actual real jet, or a contrivance for the movie?

It's real. The F-111 Aardvark. A design predecessor of the F-14 Tomcat from the late sixties and seventies.

Because I like mocking this movie though, it's set in 1984 and the F-111 was still in use until the 90s so it seems contrived that one would be in storage at the Smithsonian.

 Mad Doc Grotsnik wrote:
One thing that’s been oddly bugging me about WW84.

That two seater jet, with the seats side by side? Is that an actual real jet, or a contrivance for the movie?

According to Wikipedia, it’s a mishmash of F-111 Aardvark and GR1 Tornado.

The F111 had side by side cockpit, while I think the tornado was in-line.

 LordofHats wrote:

 Mad Doc Grotsnik wrote:
One thing that’s been oddly bugging me about WW84.

That two seater jet, with the seats side by side? Is that an actual real jet, or a contrivance for the movie?

It's real. The F-111 Aardvark. A design predecessor of the F-14 Tomcat from the late sixties and seventies.

Because I like mocking this movie though, it's set in 1984 and the F-111 was still in use until the 90s so it seems contrived that one would be in storage at the Smithsonian.

Not to mention a Pilot from 1918, when aviation wasn’t exactly advanced, just jumping on in and being able to fly it….

And was there really any reason for Steve to even go on that trip other than Diana being thirsty?

I'm just saying.

We can literally mock this movie for days for all the things in it that are stupid. It's one of the most deservedly ridiculed films I can think of. It has near no redeeming qualities beyond the villains giving performances better than the film really deserved.

To give her a stake in the wishing game. But not a very good one, as her wish involved a random spod losing his autonomy after Steve hijacks his meatsuit.

Though there is one redeeming scene. Kind of.

White House fight, when Diana is slumped against the wall. That physical pose and characteristically perfunctory line delivery is exactly how I see all Gal Gadot’s performances. Just….slumped. Uninterested. No effort.

A Christmas Story.

Still a gem of a classic. It’s a shame it ends with a bit of an offensive caricature. I’d say it’s still worth a watch.

PS: You know when you’re getting older (and crasser) when you start to think “Ralphie’s teacher has got a thing going on, and I’m into it.”

 Azreal13 wrote:
Barbarian

Firstly, it's a remarkable thing that I watched this on D+ UK, this service has come on in leaps and bounds since the introduction of the Star sub channel a while back.

As for the film? Well, it's a little disappointing. A lot of the buzz around the film is centred on its unpredictability, and so to try and preserve that I'll skirt around plot details beyond mere spoilers.

This is a horror movie, but, true to the marketing, it does take several twists and turns which mean that wherever you think it's heading, you're probably wrong (albeit less so as things progress.) Some of the camera work in the opening act does a great job of manufacturing tension out of very little. Broadly, the problem of horror movie characters acting illogically to put themselves in peril is avoided, anything perilous normally occurs as result of sound and clear reasoning.

There are other things I liked, but will skip to preserve the surprises and not chop the post up with spoiler tags.

Downsides? I really don't like Justin Long as an actor, although he is at least playing a character most people will struggle to like, it's also one of those whiny, entitled types he always seems to play. Some of the scenes seem to unwittingly cross the line into parody. The horror seems to be aiming more towards the Saw/Se7en end of the spectrum, but I struggled to take it seriously at times.

This taints the whole thing, which is a real shame as there's some genuinely interesting ideas here, much of the film feels fresh, even if it's retreading well work ground. If I could have taken some of the scenes more seriously, I could be talking about this film as a watershed moment in the genre. But as it stands it is more of a curio that, while worth seeking out for fans of the genre, falls just a little short of what might have been.

Barbarian is one of those movies that seems like it should work, but in the end it just doesn’t. The build up of tension is masterful—until it pays off with some Jason X level schlock. The characters are well written, until they have to be bumbling oafs who leave phones and keys on any surface despite having pockets and going right back into danger without taking any simple steps to mitigate it as you would expect given they previously demonstrated a reasonable appreciation for personal safety.

The stakes in the movie are actually lessened at every revelation: first the movie foreshadows a date far, far worse than death, then a fate arguably worse than death but clearly better, then the stakes become a swift, merciful death. And about 2/3 of the way through the movie introduces a far more terrifying monster than the main monster, reminds you of the stakes you were teased, and then firmly placed those safely in the past. That contributes a lot to the anticlimactic feel of the last 20 minutes, as well as the main villain being hard not to laugh at, both by design and against it.

I strongly disagree about Justin Long, though. He was a highlight of the film as the sleazy, self-centered douche-bro you want to see killed. He also got the biggest laughs of the movie, and on purpose!

To be honest I was baffled that people hailed the 1,000,000,000th iteration of;



As 'bold' and 'fresh.' It's the most generically eye-rolling twist in horror films. I hate it everytime I see it. Barbarian isn't even close to the first to do it, let alone do it well, and on top of that I stopped caring what the movie was about 20 or so minutes in when I realized that's where the movie was going.

It's one step up from 'it was all a dream' twist endings.

You want a good horror movie about barbarism? X. X is freaking great for what it is. War better than Barbarian was.

Is that the X with Mia Goth, set in the Pearl universe?

There's a universe? It was good but it wasn't that good.

Apocalypse now - 1979 / remastered?
The complete directors cut, or what ever it's called.
3 hours and 15 minuets long. It's a lot to take in.
Which seems fitting to me because the trip up river is akin to a religious experience for Cpt. Willard. I enjoyed this version Cpt. Willard has a since of humor in this cut that some people don't care for but I think it adds to his character as he is a burnout with a death wish, in a way. But deep down there was this dude who was fairly cool but he's lost himself. Seeing a glimpse of that just adds a layer to his character.
In the end. Col. Kurtz philosophical views weren't wrong but his implementation was just more than the powers that be could handle.
It's an experience if nothing else.

 LordofHats wrote:
There's a universe? It was good but it wasn't that good.

If it’s the one I’m thinking of, they filmed three movies with her following 3 characters over most of a century, playing variations on a theme (I understand from reviews). I guess “trilogy” would have been more accurate, but everything cinematic these days is about universes.

I strongly disagree about Justin Long, though. He was a highlight of the film as the sleazy, self-centered douche-bro you want to see killed.

This is how I feel about him in every movie. Even when he's not trying.

Even Galaxy Quest?

Black Panther 2-Wakanda for a Good Long Time

This film had 2 headwinds to overcome. The death of Chadwick Boseman being the first of course, and Letitia Wright (Shuri) and her anti vax shenanigans. It's hard to root for her character when what I little I know about the actress is annoying.

With a 3rd headwind being that I'm one of the few people who did not like Black Panther 1. The whole idea of an advanced secret realm is great, an advanced secret kingdom where you decide who's king by having a fight under the waterfall... not so great. Especially when the new King's plan is blow up New York, London and Hong Kong (what the heck did Hong Kong ever do to Africa)?

So with this is mind it was better than it should have been. I found Mayan Namor a bit odd, not sure we needed Ironheart, but they worked, and I like the stinger in the end. So a solid 3/5.