Mini-Movie Reviews- What You Are Watching.... in Miniature

Forum adverts like this one are shown to any user who is not logged in. Join us by filling out a tiny 3 field form and you will get your own, free, dakka user account which gives a good range of benefits to you:

No adverts like this in the forums anymore.
Times and dates in your local timezone.
Full tracking of what you have read so you can skip to your first unread post, easily see what has changed since you last logged in, and easily see what is new at a glance.
Email notifications for threads you want to watch closely.
Being a part of the oldest wargaming community on the net.

If you are already a member then feel free to login now.

**Mad Doc Grotsnik**

Terrifier

So this isn’t for the feint of heart. Like, at all. Gore, violence, some of it truly gruesome.

Any fear however is sucked out of it for me, as the baddie just reminds me of Marilyn Manson from Bo Selecta.

Automatically Appended Next Post:
Terrifier 2

Nope. Nope nope.

What a pile of absolute crap. Think I’ll just read the Wiki, and seek out any inventive sounding splatters on YouTube.

**Azreal13**

Ahtman wrote:
Azreal13 wrote:
Thing is, as a horror fan, "this won't be for everyone" is a constant refrain. Certainly when you plumb the depths and bring titles like The Human Centipede or A Serbian Film into the conversation it basically goes without saying.

By and large (A Serbian Film was my personal line in the sand) I've always been happy to watch and make my mind up.

What sets Skinamarink apart from those is that "it's not for everyone" in this context means "not for people who wouldn't sit and watch the menu animations on a DVD for an hour and a half, or aren't high." It lacks the very bones a movie needs to be a coherent creation. I get it, I can see what the point of the experiment is, to try and create a pervasive mood rather than tell a story, but that experiment fails IMO.

That's great but absolutely changes nothing I said though I'm sure you feel better harping on a movie that really isn't worth it over and over just to let everyone know how little you think of it. We'll put a note on you're bio that you were a horror fan and yet somehow really, really didn't like a movie.

What an odd response.

**Ahtman**

Edit: Not really but let's be honest this movie isn't really worth the discussion.

**Mad Doc Grotsnik**

The Black Book

Low budget indie horror anthology.

Whilst there are good ideas and concepts at play here, the acting is, sadly, pretty awful. And the end result is tellingly amateurish.

However, it’s not without its peculiar charm. I’d say just a bit of spit and polish could’ve elevated this somewhat, and for that I can genuinely respect it. If you can push past its overall low quality, I think you’ll appreciate this as a bold, if flawed, attempt at film making.

Certainly I’ve seen far, far worse movies come from Actual Budgets. And it feels like those behind this tried their best.

**Flinty**

Black Books is undoubtedly superior

**Mad Doc Grotsnik**

Oh easily superior 😂😂

**Mad Doc Grotsnik**

Just had a shot at arraying my DVDs, so my Amicus collection are properly ordered.

In doing so, I found a movie I didn’t know I had, called House of Witchcraft. Probably picked it up whilst drunk shopping on Amazon. Seems it’s an Italian one, so rather looking forward to sticking it up the spout.

**LordofHats**

I think I've seen it.

It's a decent B-sort of horror movie. Not mindnumbingly bad or dumb, but not particularly note worthy either.

Bring popcorn.

**Mad Doc Grotsnik**

Got two more ready for tomorrow. Both are interesting bits of movie trivia.

First? Ghosthouse. Another Italian classic. Second? Witchcraft.

What’s interesting about that? Well, in Italy, they’re known as Casa 3, and Casa 4.

But they’re not, as you might expect, claiming it be sequels to House and House 2. But claiming to be sequels to Evil Dead and Evil Dead 2, which were known as Casa and Casa 2.

**Flinty**

Oh wow. Evil Dead with Hugh Laurie at the helm would be awesome

**Mad Doc Grotsnik**

Apparently, House 2 and House 3 are Casa 5 and Casa 6.

Oh Italy, you crazy!

Automatically Appended Next Post:
Aaaaannnnd then I looked into the Zombi series.

Zombi is Dawn of the Dead, albeit an alternative cut. Then it goes crazy, with different territories releasing different movies under the Zombi/Zombie naming convention.

Scary thing is? I genuinely think I’ve seen most, if not all of them at some point.

Automatically Appended Next Post:
Anyways.

House of Witchcraft

Somewhat unremarkable. Enjoyable if you’re into your 70’s and 80’s Italian no-budget horror films, but that’s about it. Curiously though, a noticeable lack of knockers wobbling about for no discernible reason.

Next up is Ghosthouse, I think.

**Easy E**

A movie called House of Witchcraft from Italy made in the 70's and early 80's with no T&A? Typically if I see a witchcraft tie-in for any 70's or 80's movies I assume stupid amounts of T&A. I avoid the sub-genre now to some extent because of it. I mean it really feels like the perfect sub-genre for T&A and sleaze, YMMV of course.

I wonder if it is just the cut/version you have? It actually seems inconceivable to me that this movie is pointless T&A sleaze-free.

**Mad Doc Grotsnik**

No norks noticeable. I was surprised too!

It could be a cut version, as it’s an old Vipco DVD, where the picture is set for non-widescreen TVs, and has the top and bottom banding. So a straight print transfer with no jiggery pokery/

**warhead01**

Jumanji - 1995
Just watched this again for the first time in many many years.
It was ok, not traffic. It reminds me of a weird spin on Gremlins. The one feature I dislike the most was it has that Hollywood small town setting that feels like it's the same town as Gremlins or Monster Squad or Moral Oral for that matter. I didn't hate it but I think a better remake of the original would have been acceptable, just cleaned up a little. I did like the Jumanji board, it reminds me of Dr. Seuss. I like that a lot. I did enjoy the ending.
The Big Game hunter was really good as well. At the guns and Ammo shop. Asking for bullets for his gun finding out they have been out of production for like forever and all he says is " Damn" .
Genius.

**aku-chan**

Bullet Train

A gloriously silly and entertaining film!
And now I really want a Misadventures of Lemon and Tangerine spin-off.

**Easy E**

I was feeling a bit blue, so I decided to watch some animation. That usually cheers me up!

When the Wind Blows
An elderly British couple in the country experience the after effects of a nuclear war.

.... well, that did not make me feel any better. Onto the next one.....

The Plague Dogs
Two dogs escape from an animal testing facility. With the aid of a wily fox, they try to evade re-capture.

..... you have to be kidding me. I am feeling worse now than when I started watching animation! What is with this British Animation, Jerry?

**BobtheInquisitor**

Spirited Away

We were hoping for something charming and heartwarming along the lines of Totoro. While this movie did have charm, it also had several flavors of nightmare fuel and some gross out stuff. While we enjoyed it, it wasn’t what my wife wanted to watch right before bed. And with the writers strike, there was no late night monologue to fall asleep to.

**Tsagualsa**

Easy E wrote:
I was feeling a bit blue, so I decided to watch some animation. That usually cheers me up!

When the Wind Blows
An elderly British couple in the country experience the after effects of a nuclear war.

.... well, that did not make me feel any better. Onto the next one.....

The Plague Dogs
Two dogs escape from an animal testing facility. With the aid of a wily fox, they try to evade re-capture.

..... you have to be kidding me. I am feeling worse now than when I started watching animation! What is with this British Animation, Jerry?

With 'when the Wind Blows' at least you have the consolation that it could not happen the minute you get up from the sofa after watching the movie... can't imagine how much harder that stuff must have hit when it was hanging over everyone's heads in a quite literal sense. Legit stuff of nightmares.

Plague Dogs, on the other hands, is just torturous. It's gotta be hands-down one of the bleakest movies ever made or even imaginable, i watched it exactly once and probably will never do so again, gak is just too heavy for me, in that bad way that gets intrusive and clings to you for days. It's not even graphic or anything, just bleak and sad and getting worse every minute of runtime.

Taking a leave from sanity-blasting horror, i'm currently watching the BBC remake of All creatures great and small, which is set in the mid-1930s and is a slice-of-live light drama/light comedy mix about a young veterinarian that gets his first job in the practice of a slightly excentric old hand at the trade in the yorkshire dales. It is a remake of the popular BBC series that ran in the 1970s and has great production values and period costumes, as well as a refreshingly un-modernized script with small-stakes drama and a generally pleasant atmosphere. It's a 'slightly-worn flanell slippers' kind of show, you won't get cravings for it or be on the edge of your seat with tension, but i find it nicely relaxing.

**Sigur**

Flinty wrote:
Black Books is undoubtedly superior

This weekend somebody mentioned someone being called Rowena. I was very, very, very much tempted to get up and do the little Absurdly-Mocking-Rowena dance.

@BobtheInquisitor: Spirited Away is awesome (and I do not use that word lightly). And gets even better the more often one watches.

Right, as you were all watching cartoons, I watched a film for proper grown-ups.

Emanuelle (1974)

Young lady (Sylvia Kristel) is brought to Thailand by her husband who works for the French embassy. Their (husband and wife, not the French embassy's) goal for her is to learn about love, I suppose.

So this came on and I hadn't seen it in ages. As the film went on I realized how well I remember it (yes, even beyond the sex scenes). Must have seen it several times, but not in a while. But I watched a documentary on the film last year, so that gave it another layer. Not that there's all too many layers to the whole thing, obviously. Sylvia Kristel really isn't a great actress.

But really well cast for the role.

But it's a classic, right? Gotta have seen Emanuelle. Don't bother with the "sequels" (I think 2 still had something to do with the first one in some way?), most of which are in name only. During the 80s, Emanuelle was to erotic films what Django was to Westerns - any film publisher would just plaster the name on their film willy-nilly.

**Flinty**

@EasyE - wow. Hardcore… now go and watch Chicken Run and some Danger Mouse and recover a bit

**Tsagualsa**

Sigur wrote:

But it's a classic, right? Gotta have seen Emanuelle. Don't bother with the "sequels" (I think 2 still had something to do with the first one in some way?), most of which are in name only. During the 80s, Emanuelle was to erotic films what Django was to Westerns - any film publisher would just plaster the name on their film willy-nilly.

Just for the fun of it, and to show how very much you are understating this, have a partial list from german wikipedia (figures that they had something to say on the matter

):

Emmanuelle mit Sylvia Kristel et al.

Emmanuelle (dt. Emanuela / Emmanuelle – Die Schule der Lust, 1974), mit Sylvia Kristel
Emmanuelle 2 – Garten der Liebe (Emmanuelle l’antivierge, übersetzt „Die Anti-Jungfrau,“ 1975), mit Sylvia Kristel in der Hauptrolle, die spätere „Emanuelle“ Laura Gemser in einer Nebenrolle
Goodbye Emmanuelle (1977), wieder mit Sylvia Kristel in der Hauptrolle
Emmanuelle 4 (1984), Sylvia Kristel teilt sich die Hauptrolle mit ihrer Nachfolgerin Mia Nygren; Emmanuelle gibt sich mit Hilfe der plastischen Chirurgie ein völlig neues Aussehen, die verwandelte Emmanuelle wird dann von Nygren gespielt
Emmanuelle 5 (dt. Emmanuelle – Im Harem des Prinzen, 1987), mit Monique Gabrielle
Emmanuelle 6 (dt. Emmanuelle – Amazone des Dschungels, 1988), mit Natalie Uher
Emmanuelle 7 (dt. Digital Love, 1993), wieder mit Sylvia Kristel

Emmanuelle mit Marcela Walerstein

Marcela Walerstein als „junge Emmanuelle“ in einer siebenteiligen französischen TV-Filmreihe aus dem Jahre 1993. Sylvia Kristel tritt in einer Nebenrolle auf.

Emmanuelle in Tibet (Éternelle Emmanuelle, 1993)
Emmanuelle in Afrika (La revanche d’Emmanuelle, 1993)
Emmanuelle in Venedig (Emmanuelle à Venise, 1993)
Emmanuelles Freundin (L'amour d’Emmanuelle, 1993)
Emmanuelles Zauber (Magique Emmanuelle, 1993)
Emmanuelles Parfüm (Le parfum d’Emmanuelle, 1993)
Emmanuelles Geheimnis (Le secret d’Emmanuelle, 1993)

Emmanuelle mit Krista Allen („Emmanuelle in Space“)

Krista Allen spielt die Emmanuelle in einer siebenteiligen TV-Filmreihe mit Science-Fiction-Aufhängern aus dem Jahre 1994, im englischen Original Emmanuelle in Space genannt:

Emmanuelle – Botschafterin der Liebe (aka First Contact/Queen of the Galaxy, 1994)
Emmanuelle 2 – Im Rausch der Sinne (Emmanuelle 2: A World of Desire, 1994)
Emmanuelle 3 – Lektionen in Liebe (Emmanuelle 3: A Lesson in Love, 1994)
Emmanuelle 4 – Geheime Wünsche (Emmanuelle 4: Concealed Fantasy, 1994)
Emmanuelle 5 – Wilde Träume (Emmanuelle 5: A Time to Dream, 1994)
Emmanuelle 6 – Ein tiefes Verlangen (Emmanuelle 6: One Final Fling, 1994)
Emmanuelle 7 – Was ist Liebe (Emmanuelle 7: The Meaning of Love, 1994)

Emmanuelle mit Holly Sampson

Holly Sampson spielt die Emmanuelle in einer US-amerikanischen Video-Filmreihe:

Emmanuelle 2000: Aus nächster Nähe (Being Emmanuelle, 2000)
Emmanuelle 2000: Nackte Tatsachen (Emmanuelle and the Art of Love, 2000)
Emmanuelle 2000: Zurück im Paradies (Emmanuelle in Paradise, 2000)
Emmanuelle 2000: Ein heißes Weekend (Jewel of Emmanuelle, 2000)
Emmanuelle 2000: Intime Begegnungen (Emmanuelle’s Intimate Encounters, 2000)
Emmanuelle 2000: Eine Frage der Lust (Emmanuelle’s Sensual Pleasures, 2001)
Emmanuelle 2000: Pikante Lektionen (Emmanuelle Pie, 2003)
Emmanuelle 2000 (2001)

Die Reihe wurde auch als DVD-Sammelbox Emmanuelle: Ultimate Erotic Selection – Lust auf Abenteuer veröffentlicht.
Emmanuelle mit Natasja Vermeer

Natasja Vermeer spielt die Emmanuelle in einer US-amerikanischen Video-Filmreihe:

Emmanuelle the Private Collection: Sex Goddess (2003)
Emmanuelle the Private Collection: Emmanuelle vs. Dracula (2004)
Emmanuelle the Private Collection: Sex Talk (2004)
Emmanuelle the Private Collection: The Sex Lives of Ghosts (2004)
Emmanuelle the Private Collection: Sexual Spells (2004)
Emmanuelle the Private Collection: The Art of Ecstasy (aka Die Kunst der Ekstase, 2006)
Emmanuelle the Private Collection: Jesse’s Secret Desires (2006)
Emmanuelle Tango (2006)

Emmanuelle mit Allie Haze

Allie Haze spielt die Emmanuelle in einer siebenteiligen US-amerikanischen Video-Filmreihe:

Emmanuelle Through Time: Emmanuelle’s Skin City (2011)
Emmanuelle Through Time: Emmanuelle’s Sexy Bite (2011)
Emmanuelle Through Time: Sex, Chocolate & Emmanuelle (2011)
Emmanuelle Through Time: Rod Steele 0014 & Naked Agent 0069 (2011)
Emmanuelle Through Time: Emmanuelle’s Supernatural Activities (2011)
Emmanuelle Through Time: Emmanuelle’s Sex Tales (2011)
Emmanuelle Through Time: Emmanuelle’s Forbidden Pleasures (2011)

Andere Emmanuelle-Filme / Plagiate / Parodien / Dokumentationen / daran angelehnte Filme

Frankreich:

Emmanuelle (auch Mi-vie, 1968), Kurzfilm-Drama
Emanuele – Im Teufelskreis der Leidenschaft (Je suis frigide... pourquoi? auch Im Garten der Wollust – Pourquoi?, 1972), für Erwachsene[2]
Perverse Emanuelle (Tendre et perverse Emanuelle, 1973), Thriller mit Norma Kastel
Nea – Ein Mädchen entdeckt die Liebe (Néa auch A Young Emmanuelle, 1976), Drama mit Ann Zacharias (Frankreich, Deutschland)
Emanuela 77 (La marge, 1976), Drama mit Sylvia Kristel
Emanuelle und Lolita (Emanuelle e Lolita, 1978), mit Nieves Navarro als Emanuelle
Emmanuelle geht nach Cannes (Emmanuelle à Cannes, 1980), mit Olinka Hardiman als Marilyn, f. Erw.
Emmanuelle – Im Teufelskreis der Leidenschaft (Le Journal érotique d'une Thailandaise auch Emanuele 3, 1980), Abenteuerfilm f. Erw. mit Sylvie Cointre (Frankreich, Italien, Hongkong)
La vie érotique de la grenouille (2003), TV-Film mit Agathe de La Boulaye als Emmanuelle
An Erotic Success: The Making of 'Emmanuelle' (2007), Video-Dokumentation

Italien:

Io, Emmanuelle (1969), Drama mit Erika Blanc als Emmanuelle
Black Emanuelle, eine italienische „Emanuelle“-Filmreihe
Foltergarten der Sinnlichkeit (Emanuelle e Françoise le sorelline, 1975, Regie: Joe D’Amato) Thriller mit Rosemarie Lindt als Emanuelle
Laura (Laure auch Emmanuelle für immer, 1976), Drama mit Annie Belle und Emmanuelle Arsan (Italien, Frankreich)
Annie Belle – Zur Liebe geboren (La fine dell’innocenza auch Blue Belle/Teenage Emanuelle, 1976), Drama mit Annie Belle (Ital., Gbr.)
Emanuela – Dein wilder Erdbeermund (Inibizione, 1976), Drama mit Claudine Beccarie
Ecco lingua d’argento (engl. Emmanuelle’s Silver Tongue, 1976), Komödie mit Nadia Cassini als Emmanuelle[3]
Die Zuchtfarm der Sklaven (Emanuelle bianca e nera, 1976) Mit Malisa Longo als „White Emanuelle“[4]
Yellow Emanuelle (Il mondo dei sensi di Emy Wong auch Emanuelle – Die Sucht der Sinne, 1977, Regie: Bitto Albertini) Drama mit Chai Lee
Intime Beichte einer Frau (Il mondo porno di due sorelle auch Emanuelle And Joanna, 1979), Drama mit Sherry Buchanan als Emanuela
Quella porcacciona di mia moglie (engl. Teenage Emmanuelle, 1981), mit Catherine Ringer als Emanuelle (Ital., Frankr.), f. Erw.
Tradita a morte (engl. Lady Emanuelle, 1989), Drama mit Malù als Emanuelle

Deutschland – 3 Komödien, die mit dem Charakter Emmanuelle nichts zu tun haben:

Liebesmarkt (engl. Emanuelle Meets the Wife Swappers, 1973), Komödie
Nackt und keß am Königssee (auch Emanuelle in Oberbayern, 1977), Komödie für Erwachsene[5]
Blutjunge Biester … zu allem bereit (auch Prall und drall in Oberbayern/Emmanuelles Töchter, 1984), Komödie

Großbritannien:

Emmanuelle Goes Greek (griech. Roxani, i odysseia tou sex, 1976), Drama mit Natalie Danika
Mach’ weiter, Emmanuelle (Carry on Emmanuelle, 1978), Komödie mit Suzanne Danielle als Emmanuelle Prevert
Emmanuelle in Soho (1981), mit Angie Quick als „Emmanuelle of Soho“
Emmanuelle: A Hard Look (2000), Dokumentation über die Emmanuelle Filme mit Sylvia Kristel, Laura Gemser etc.
The Dark Side of Porn – Hunting Emmanuelle (2006), Dokumentations-Serie mit einer Emmanuelle Episode (Staffel 2, Folge 3)

USA:

Emanuelle im Lustschloß der Sinnlichkeit (The Journey of O, 1976), f. Erw.
Daughters of Emmanuelle (1983), f. Erw.
Die verdorbenen Mädchen vom Mars (Bad Girls from Mars auch Emmanuelle in Hollywood, 1990), Komödie mit Edy Williams als Emanuelle
The Joys of Emmanuelle, Parts 1–3 (2001), Video-Kurz-Dokumentationen zu den ersten drei Emmanuelle-Filmen[6]
Emmanuelle in Rio (2003), TV-Drama mit Ludmilla Ferraz als Emmanuelle
Soft Sell: Emmanuelle in America (2007), Video-Dokumentation
Emmanuelle in Wonderland (2012), Komödie mit Allie Haze als Emmanuelle (USA, Thailand, Ägypten, Brasilien)
Today is Yesterday Tomorrow (2012), Komödie mit Allie Haze als Emmanuelle

Hong Kong:

Li san jiao wei zhen di yu men (auch The Dragon Lives Again, 1977); Action-Komödie, in der Bruce Lee (gespielt von Siu-Lung Leung) neben anderen Film-Figuren auch Emmanuelle trifft[7]
Heung Gong Ngaai Maan Nau (auch Hong Kong Emmanuelle/Xiang Gang Ai Man Niu, 1977), Drama mit Deborah Dik
In den Klauen des C.I.A. (auch Kung Fu Emanuelle/Ai man niu huo bing gong fu liang, 1982), Action – hat nichts mit dem Charakter der Emanuelle zu tun (Hong Kong, Spanien)
Emmanuelle in Hong Kong (Heung Gong ngaai maan nau ji sau sing pui yuk, 2003), Drama mit Crystal Sun als Emmanuelle

Japan:

Tôkyô Emmanuelle fujin: kojin kyôju (1975), mit Kumi Taguchi
Wilde Emmanuelle im Paradies der Lust (auch Emmanuelle in Tokyo/Tokyo Emmanuelle fujin, 1976), mit Kumi Taguchi
Koko Emanuelle: nureta doyobi (1978), Drama

andere:

The Daughter of Emanuelle (La fille d'Emmanuelle, 1975), mit Greta Vayan als Emanuelle (Belgien, Frankreich, Italien), f. Erw.
Emanuelle Tropical (Brasilien, 1977)
Madame O und ihre ganz teuren Mädchen (Agent 69 Jensen i Skorpionens tegn auch Emmanuelle in Denmark, DK, 1977), Komödie f. Erw.
A Filha de Emmanuelle (Brasilien, 1980), Drama
Brown Emmanuelle (Philippinen, 1982), mit Myrna Castillo
Las orgías inconfesables de Emmanuelle (Spanien, 1982), Drama mit Muriel Montossé als Emmanuelle
Seoul Emmanuelle (Südkorea, 1993), Thriller

**Sigur**

Thanks for digging up the list! Let's make it really fun and see how many Verleihtitel featuring "Frankenstein" there are.

Anyway, I didn't know it went on for so long with that name! What we need now is a comprehensive diagram of Emanuelliverse!

**BobtheInquisitor**

Emanuelle in Space used to play all the time in cable.

**Easy E**

The Emmanuelleverse is probably still better than the DCEU.

**Mad Doc Grotsnik**

Easy E wrote:
The Emmanuelleverse is probably still better than the DCEU.

My lifelong bowel movements are better than the DCEU.

Better consistency too.

**Turnip Jedi**

Alien Covenant

Well that's 2 hours I'm not getting back, utter utter drek

**Tsagualsa**

Turnip Jedi wrote:
Alien Covenant

Well that's 2 hours I'm not getting back, utter utter drek

See the positive side, you could have watched the directors cut and lost 3 hours instead

**Mad Doc Grotsnik**

Turnip Jedi wrote:
Alien Covenant

Well that's 2 hours I'm not getting back, utter utter drek

To be honest, I have the same amount of sympathy for you here as I would an Ancient Greek who decided, against all myth, legend, advice and that, to have a peep at Medusa.

**Turnip Jedi**

Well that'll learn me to flirt with optimism....

**LordofHats**

It really is a terrible movie. Most in the second and third thirds. Like, the first third of the movie isn't bad. Except for their decision to 'let's just go to this random planet we know nothing about with tens of thousands of lives at stake because religion metaphors or some banal gak we hope you won't look too hard at.'