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Not one thing wrong with Face/Off. For some reason the bald man who's Castor Troy's lackey is quite the memorable character.

Hey page 100! Congratulations on a great thread!

Huntsman 2: Thor vs Elsa

The Snow White sequel without Snow White how apparently costs too much these days.

So it's Chris Helmsworth's Huntsman vs Emily Blunt as Not~Elsa. It's OK at times. Helmsworth gets to show a bit more acting chops and it feels a lot less forced then turning Snow White into Lord of the Rings.

Still not worth seeing mind you, but an improvement.

She didn’t cost too much. She cheated on R Pat with the director of Snow White and the Huntsman, and neither was invited to the sequel.

 BobtheInquisitor wrote:
She didn’t cost too much. She cheated on R Pat with the director of Snow White and the Huntsman, and neither was invited to the sequel.

So she didn't go to team Edward or team Jacob?

Travesty.

Instant Death

A U.K. movie in the style of Death Wish, starring Lou Ferrigno. Available on Prime under the name “Rage”.

This is a deeply, deeply unpleasant movie. As with all revenge thrillers we of course expect something unpleasant to happen to our hero’s love ones. But there is not bloody need for it to be this graphic or sustained. I’ve normally a strong stomach for such things, but this time I had to fast forward. Because again again, there is no reason for such scenes to be so graphic nor sustained. These things best hinted at. Done off screen.

But, now that is out of the way, we’re off to the races as Mr Ferrigno has his arse in his hands a mind for vengeance.


Automatically Appended Next Post:
The actual ass kickery is pretty good. Whilst advancing in years, Ferrigno is in amazing shape. Whilst not exactly athletic, the fight scenes take that into account, and so don’t come across silly or daft, unlike Seagal where we see him lumber from place to place then Body Double, back to lumbering.

However, the punishment dealt out to the baddies just doesn’t compare to the brutality of that earlier scene. Like. At all. Which makes this all somewhat flaccid in the end. Yes they all end up completely dead to death. But it just doesn’t feel like Justice, and as such the deep and genuine unpleasantness of their Main Crime is utterly unjustified in the film’s wider context.

Overall? Probably one to miss.

Batman 3 - Flashpoint

After an unnecessarily long opening featuring a minor character from Batman's Justice League comic, the movie swings into high gear showing us what's happened with Michael Keaton's Batman over the last 30 years. I can't wait for the Prequel (Midquel) that shows us just when Bat Michael learned about the multiverse.

All kidding aside I was pleasantly surprised that a film which went through 5 directors, almost 10 years of development, and reportedly 45 (!!) writers came out pretty good. Miller may be scum, but had some funny moments. If not for the behind the scenes drama I'd be eager for more of this.

Terminator 3: The One with the Blonde Chick

A perfectly cromulent remake of Terminator 2: OMG So Good.

Nice twist at the end



but not really necessary or memorable.

T3 is a bit underrated.

Whilst it doesn’t completely work, it has some cool ideas, especially that ending.

Yeah, T3 was perfectly alright. It's the Temple of Doom of the Terminator franchise. Probably my favourite Kristana Loken film too! So that's gotta be worth something, right? (only other one I can remember is Bloodrayne 1 and that was pretty darned boring except for Meat Loaf's bordello).

Be sure to check out the T3 deleted scene with Sergeant Candy.

 Sigur wrote:
Yeah, T3 was perfectly alright. It's the Temple of Doom of the Terminator franchise. Probably my favourite Kristana Loken film too! So that's gotta be worth something, right? (only other one I can remember is Bloodrayne 1 and that was pretty darned boring except for Meat Loaf's bordello).

T3 is the last Terminator that gets passing grades - it's got the general conceits of the setting alright, basically re-tells T2, which is not bad in itself as you can do much worse than re-tell a great movie, and does some more exploration of the 'guardian Terminator' concept as well as that whole thing about Fate vs. No-Fate. Not groundbreaking or even very creative, but it's a Terminator movie that delivers what you'd want and expect from a Terminator movie. It's probably nobodies favourite film, but also not on many 'hate' listst.

My favourite bits in T3 would be….

The Terminator, with John Connor having gone off-grid, hunting down his Lieutenants instead, and only finding John through luck/fate.

John going off-grid in the first place.

The beginning and I suppose end of Judgement Day in general.

 Mad Doc Grotsnik wrote:
My favourite bits in T3 would be….

The Terminator, with John Connor having gone off-grid, hunting down his Lieutenants instead, and only finding John through luck/fate.

John going off-grid in the first place.

The beginning and I suppose end of Judgement Day in general.

Apparently James Cameron has been working on a new script for another Terminator movie since about February of this year; it's supposed to be more about Skynet/Legion this time... together with the two Alien-Franchise movies currently in production (one in Hollywood hell since basically forever, one actually filming since March) it looks like the 80s won't let us go for quite some time

I’m up for more of Dark Fate. That was a cracking way to continue and reinvent the franchise.

Lets hope not, T3 is passable due to Ms Dane's and the other lady, but given the whole thing is essentially Sarah's story trying to do them without her it was hiding to nothing

And yes she is back for the last road crash but that got clobbered with "grrrl powa" by numbers and had no point at all (although tip of the hat to Ms Davis for doing a lot of sit ups and the like !)

Clerks 3

Huh.

I'd actually forgotten this was a thing, and I watched it as much because the runtime closely matched the time I had available as much as any expectations that it'd be good.

So imagine my surprise when it turns out it's really quite ok.

I'll qualify anything I say by pointing out Clerks, Mallrats and Chasing Amy were important elements of my late teens/early 20s, so I have a certain affection for Smith that his later more divisive attempts have never completely shaken, but I'm struggling to find too much to really criticise in Clerks 3.

I suspect this is quite a personal movie for Smith. The whole narrative is kick-started by a character surviving a heart attack that should have killed them, and subsequently, in true meta style, the characters from the first movie, now middle aged, set about making a movie which bears a not unsubstantial resemblance to the original Clerks movie.

The fact I'm struggling to find much to criticise shouldn't be taken as a ringing endorsement. This isn't a great movie by any stretch. It's funny without ever being laugh out loud, it's a little overly sentimental to the point that Smith from 20 years ago would probably vomit, and as a direct result lacks the cutting edge of his earlier films.

But for all that, I enjoyed dropping in on Dante and Randal again. That so many of the cast were willing to return, not to mention the cameos, really makes for a fitting end, even if only hacks make sequels.

Layer Cake

As gangster films go it's a tough one to criticise, but I'm going to anyway. It's neither as fluid as Snatch / Lock Stock nor as precise as The Departed. It sits in this middle ground where half of the movie looks like it has had a lot of attention paid to details and then the other half seems to be whatever was shot by the camera was good enough. Daniel Craig is a walking coma for the first 45 minutes, only waking up and paying any interest as we get towards the run down. It really is a very middling film. I can't commend it but then I also can't say it's particularly bad. To emphasise how meh I am about it, I would recommend watching 51st State over this and that's not exactly the highest quality cinema either.

@Henry: Yeah, I also found Layer Cake to be .....okay? I can't remember much about it. There was something with coffee and Craig talking to old gangstery people and being rich. For a more interesting "early" Craig film, try Enduring Love (the one with the hot air balloon).


My sister in law showed me loooooooooong parts of Bedazzled. I'd never seen the film before, but it seems rather funny. Hurley getting to wear nice outfits, Fraser getting to play funny skits. Both are good in this one, and there are some bits which genuinely made me laugh. ("Poo-bished" somehow got me cracking up).

Also watched an episode of Andor. It looks alright. You can tell good from bad actors by how loud they talk. If they whisper, they're no good, if they TALK they're good.

From Beyond

An HP Lovecraft adaptation from Brian Yuzna and starring Jeffrey Combes.

Why have I never seen this before! It’s kind of shlocky B-Movie fare, but a cut above such lowly origins.

Plot is pretty mental, and the creature effects are of course practical, and all the better for it.

Nimona on Netflix.

Animated film, based on a graphic novel a few years back by ND Stevenson (showrunner for the She-ra reboot).

Utterly fantastic. Intended to just start it and watch a bit while exercising, but got caught up and watched the whole thing (fairly standard movie length).

Gets heavy a times (don't want to spoil anything), but amazing.

Thanks Voss. I was trying to get my daughter to watch that yesterday and she declined. I’ll probably just watch it myself

I really like Terminator 3. And the only thing I remember from Hard Target is Lance Henriksen trying to dismantle a live grenade before it blows him up.

 Flinty wrote:
Thanks Voss. I was trying to get my daughter to watch that yesterday and she declined. I’ll probably just watch it myself

Its definitely worth watching. Its probably worth watching before showing it to kids, as it veers from kid-friendly to I-can-see-parents-freaking-out at times. I'm not a good judge of that, as my only frame of reference is rural parents freaking out about what's in the library and demanding things-they-don't-like be banned.

Just to be clear,

The 51st State

Was mentioned earlier in the film, but I’ve never previously seen it.

It’s…OK, I guess. Not quite average, but not disastrous. Samuel L Jackson, Robert Carlyle and Sean Pertwee are of course fantastic as always. But….urgh. Here comes Rhys Ifans. I’ll never understand how he gets roles, as he’s universally awful.

I’ll see it out, but I can’t see it going on my regular or even occasional rewatch list.

Well, I did say it wasn't the highest quality cinema. Robert Carlyle looks like he was having a bit of a laugh through filming at the least. He and Jackson make for an amusing odd couple

Meatloaf plays a character called "The Lizard" in a movie with Rhys Ifans?

 Mad Doc Grotsnik wrote:
The 51st State
...
It’s…OK, I guess. Not quite average, but not disastrous. ...

My thoughts exactly. It's not horrible, but I don't feel like I wanna see it again too soon.

 Sigur wrote:

 Mad Doc Grotsnik wrote:
The 51st State
...
It’s…OK, I guess. Not quite average, but not disastrous. ...

My thoughts exactly. It's not horrible, but I don't feel like I wanna see it again too soon.

It basically hinges on Jackson and Carlyle, but also props to Emily Mortimer for adding to that chemistry quite nicely.

If I had to describe it using a Crap Analogy? It’s like a robot trying to bake a cake. Yes the ingredients are there, but the mix is off. Like it gave them a cursory stir, but never having seen a cake batter nothing is blended. Just a quick couple of stirs and into the oven, where the degree in temperature has been misunderstood as degrees in angle. Jackson, Carlyle and Mortimer are the frosting, hence they’re still good.

 Mad Doc Grotsnik wrote:

 Sigur wrote:

 Mad Doc Grotsnik wrote:
The 51st State
...
It’s…OK, I guess. Not quite average, but not disastrous. ...

My thoughts exactly. It's not horrible, but I don't feel like I wanna see it again too soon.

It basically hinges on Jackson and Carlyle, but also props to Emily Mortimer for adding to that chemistry quite nicely.

If I had to describe it using a Crap Analogy? It’s like a robot trying to bake a cake. Yes the ingredients are there, but the mix is off. Like it gave them a cursory stir, but never having seen a cake batter nothing is blended. Just a quick couple of stirs and into the oven, where the degree in temperature has been misunderstood as degrees in angle. Jackson, Carlyle and Mortimer are the frosting, hence they’re still good.

Add 150 million USD and you got a netflix film!

Right. Back to abject silliness.

Frogs

How to make a film called Frogs. An interpretation by Mad Doc Grotsnik, aged 43 and a smidge.

1. Figure out movies get tax breaks

2. Find someone in need of said tax break explain the plan.

3. For inspiration, watch The Birds.

4. Have a lobotomy.

5. Swap your lobotomised brain for your arse.

6. Have an arsebrain lobotomy

7. Film this

8. Enjoy your complete lack of merit, style and hopefully profit to make the most of the tax break you were hoping to exploit.

Yeah just avoid this.

Frogs kill no-one in this film. And the “frogs” shown are clearly toads.