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Icon. The word you were looking for is “icon”.

Before he was fired, Craig Kilborn was the host of the Daily Show when it came out. He spent the whole interview with a male star of Anaconda asking about the size of Jennifer Lopez’s badonkadonk. Classy guy, that Craig.
That is literally all I remember about Anaconda, and I think I saw it twice.

What?

Jennifer Lopez?

An icon of utter mediocrity at best.

 Mad Doc Grotsnik wrote:
What?

Jennifer Lopez?

An icon of utter mediocrity at best.

Tell that to the middle aged women who threw their backs out trying to imitate her moves at the Super Bowl halftime show with Shakira.


Just because she’s not for you or me doesn’t mean she’s not an icon. Beyoncé is somehow considered one, so who even knows what makes someone iconic.

Scrooged

Been yonks since I last saw this. It’s a contemporary retelling of A Christmas Carol, with Bill Murray as our stand-in Scrooge.

Fun fact? This was apparently Murray’s return to the big screen, having gone on hiatus following Ghostbusters.

Notably, whilst playing to his strengths, this isn’t Bill Murray playing Bill Murray as such.

This is a very solid bit of Christmas fare and most definitely deserves you and your family’s undivided attention.

 BobtheInquisitor wrote:

 Mad Doc Grotsnik wrote:
What?

Jennifer Lopez?

An icon of utter mediocrity at best.

Tell that to the middle aged women who threw their backs out trying to imitate her moves at the Super Bowl halftime show with Shakira.


Just because she’s not for you or me doesn’t mean she’s not an icon. Beyoncé is somehow considered one, so who even knows what makes someone iconic.

If money can be made from them, right?

I'm okay with Mrs.Lopez. I once saw a film with her in which she's in some sort of family band, and she's the stand-out. She was good in that. And I'll always have fun watching U-Turn and her craziness in that film. Even in later stuff (I once saw Wedding Planner a few years ago) she's alright considering the circumstances.

 Mad Doc Grotsnik wrote:
Scrooged

I really wanted to watch that Lee Majors Die-Hard knock-off at the North Pole. Right up my alley.

Return of the Living Dead 3

The much maligned third entry and notable box office bomb of the series, which itself is kind of a spin off from Night of the Living Dead.

Whilst still not a great film, I’d say it’s not only better than its reputation, but was somewhat ahead of its time. Rather than spoofing the genre as its predecessor has, it instead presents the zombies as almost sympathetic. It at least tries to deal with themes the genre doesn’t, and kind of serves as a template for Resident Evil (the stupidity of using Zombies as bio-weapons)

Whilst the plot doesn’t quite succeed, it did come frustratingly close. The makeup and effects are really solid though.

Overall it’s certainly worth watching if you’re a fan of the genre and it’s dubious history.

I only watched the sequels once and it's been ages, but I remember that at the time I thought 2 was just bad. 3 was better because it returned some of the fun. 4 was somehow worse again, though I don't remember how or why. 5 was better again. Bonus points for the name Rave to the Grave.

None of them live up to the first movie, but I suppose there are worse zombie movies out there.

Highlander

Fiiiiiinally sat down to watch this. And it’s really rather good! Not at all what I was expecting. I can certainly see its influence on that Wolverine film with the flashbacks and showing Connor’s life experiences. It does a decent job of exploring his isolation as an immortal.

The soundtrack is of course fantastic. Can’t whack a bit of Queen.

I think the biggest compliment I can give it is despite being made in 1984? It really doesn’t feel 80’s, instead having something of a timeless feel.

Definitely enjoying this one. And I think maybe Highlander 2 next.

Nope! Nope! Just stop at 1, and the series.

 BobtheInquisitor wrote:
Nope! Nope! Just stop at 1, and the series.

Agreed!

Oh you underestimate my tolerance for Awful Films!

I know I’ve seen bits of it before (some kind of red shieldy thing, because the environment is screwed, Ramirez not being ded, but then being ded to stop spinny blade things).


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Anyways, back to praising Highlander.

The Kurgan is an excellent villain. Clearly some influences from Terminator, and Clancy Brown is chewing the scenery with gusto.

This is also a great film for cinematography. Variety of colour palettes, and skilled use of real world locations. The fights are well choreographed and suitably cinematic.

Highlander is awesome.

Do not watch Highlander 2 at all costs!.

Look, I spent £3.50 on Highlander 2!


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Santa Claus the Movie

A palette freshener, and a movie from my youth, having first seen it at school.

Biggest surprise for me was finding out Mrs Claus is played by Hyacinth Bucket’s sister!

Bit of a low rent classic I think most families would still enjoy, as whilst not exactly good, it is wholesome for the most part.

 Mad Doc Grotsnik wrote:
Look, I spent £3.50 on Highlander 2!

Which version? The US or UK theatrical release where the Immortals are aliens from the planet Zeist? Or the Renegade version or the Special Edition which does away with the alien plot line altogether and certain scenes were removed and others added back in and entire sequences of events were changed?

Absolutely no idea.

Will stick it up the spout after work.

The Killer (2023)

Directed by David Fincher and starring Michael Fassbender The Killer is about a professional assassin and is a very paced film focusing more on the practical elements of the job. The first fifteen minutes is the character spending days waiting for his target and monologuing about the precautions and preparations he has to undertake. "My recent costume is a German tourist. No one remembers German tourists." Each "chapter" follows the same pattern of the Killer investigating to find his target then putting a plan into motion. It is the kind of movie where the characters don't get names but instead are The Killer, The Brute, The Lawyer, and so on. Not Fincher's best but still very good, overall.

It would have been nice to see in a theater but I don't think any near me had it, or if they did it was just one week then gone, which is standard for Netflix. They don't want you going to the theater, after all.

 Mad Doc Grotsnik wrote:
Will stick it up the spout after work.

Careful now, this is a family website!

 Ahtman wrote:
The Killer (2023)

Gonna try to check that out this weekend, looks right up my alley. Love me some Hitman games and the previews made it look like the Hitman movie that we should've received.

The Kill Room

A black comedy, starring Uma Thurman, Samuel L Jackson and Joe Manganiello star.

Plot outline. Hitman finds himself the darling of the art world, after his handler starts using a gallery to launder money.

Can’t say much more without ruining things, but I rather enjoyed this.


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The Torture Chamber of Dr Sadism

Not exactly the sort of name you’d think anyone would award a Doctorate to, but here we are. And it’s a moot point, as there is no Dr Sadism. Our villain is Count “Legally Distinct so sod off” Regula. Which to be honest is more suggestive of a toff particularly keen on maintaining a healthy amount of fibre in his diet.

1970’s West German crack at The Pit and the Pendulum, via Hammer. Christopher Lee stars as Count Regula, and is pretty much the only cast member I’ve ever heard of.

I’ve seen many better Hammerseque films, but also have seen quite a few considerably worse. For its era it’s really pretty tame with very little in the way of death or blood and that. But I love the sets The castle for example has art in the style of Heironymous Bosch painted on the walls, and none of it looks particularly wooden. Low budget yes, but not bad low budget.

Main weakness for me would be a general lack of atmosphere, which I think isn’t helped by a dodgy score. The odd synth refrain, but that’s about it.

Probably one for Hammer Horror aficionados only I’m afraid. Certainly there’s not a huge amount here for the casual movie viewer to properly appreciate.

 Ahtman wrote:
The Killer (2023)

Directed by David Fincher and starring Michael Fassbender The Killer is about a professional assassin and is a very paced film focusing more on the practical elements of the job. The first fifteen minutes is the character spending days waiting for his target and monologuing about the precautions and preparations he has to undertake. "My recent costume is a German tourist. No one remembers German tourists." Each "chapter" follows the same pattern of the Killer investigating to find his target then putting a plan into motion. It is the kind of movie where the characters don't get names but instead are The Killer, The Brute, The Lawyer, and so on. Not Fincher's best but still very good, overall.

It would have been nice to see in a theater but I don't think any near me had it, or if they did it was just one week then gone, which is standard for Netflix. They don't want you going to the theater, after all.

Spoiler:

 Mad Doc Grotsnik wrote:
Will stick it up the spout after work.

Careful now, this is a family website!

Just finished it. It was something different and I liked it. I don’t think Fincher has a lot of misses, I tend to enjoy all of his stuff.

Looking into the film, the guy that plays The Brute was also Sauron in the LotR trilogy, which in my nerd mind is pretty cool.

Watched the Adam Driver movie 65 this evening while sorting a bunch of vintage Skaven.

It was.... extremely boring. I'm glad I never got around to seeing it in the theatre this summer.

Driver is the pilot of a spaceship that gets hit by asteroid bits & crashes on a habitable enough planet. Wich is promptly 100% revealed to be Earth 65M years ago.
The only other survivor of the crash is a little girl who speaks a different language than drivers character.
Together they spend the next hour or so of screen time trekking through forested mountain terrain trying to get to an escape pod that also survived - while dodging dinosaurs.
For the finale? They fight a TRex thing, both survive, and escape Earth just as the dino-killing comet nukes the planet behind them. The End.

Unless you really want to see 1 scene near the end where a Trex gets its skin boiled off as it gets caught in an erupting geyser? Just skip this thing.

Ghost in the Shell

The original anime.

If you’ve read my wibblings in the past, you might recall that traditionally I struggle to appreciate anime. But every so often I like to challenge my preconception by watching some.

Akira and Ghibli stuff I greatly enjoy. And Ghost in the Shell looks set to join them.

Despite featuring future tech, it has the same timeless quality as Batman the Animated Series, thanks to not ever being shiny and chrome. That I feel is the hallmark of a good future dystopia, where the perks and benefits of better technology aren’t equally distributed amongst society, and so for many, life goes on as it has for decades, if not centuries.


This also benefits from a really good dub. Little to no “oooohhhh” as the mouth movements don’t match a direct Japanese to English translation, with voice actors able to emote, not just sort of rattling through their lines.


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Anonymous Animals

A film in which in certain areas animals are now people but with animal heads. And seem to herd and farm smelly hoomans for meats.

Unfortunately, the film makers seem to have lost their script. And the tension. And the point.

I’m almost certain this is meant to be a Vegan “hOw WoUlD yOu LiKe It” thought provoker.


But I’m afraid it’s just….crap.

GitS is a total classic. The spider tank scene is just a perfect action scene.

If you liked the movie, check out Stand Alone Complex. 2 seasons of very good scifi, which shockingly predicted a fair few problems society would deal with 20 years late (now).

I think I may, somewhat randomly, have the first season of that on DVD somewhere.

Then go read Appleseed

Elemental

Fire goes West!

This is Pixar's take on An American Tale, only this time with fire, earth, water, and air instead of little mice.

Fine for what it is, BUT not their best work as the writing is a bit predictable, even if it does nail the 2nd Gen experience pretty well.

Nightmare on Elm Street 3

It’s one of the better Freddy movies. The antagonist therapist is a memorable villain. And this one introduces the “andale” lady and her catchphrase.


Blue Beetle

We wanted to like this one, but oof. The family are drawn too quickly and too broadly, coming cross as stereotypes that border on obnoxious. And they’re the best part of the movie. Susan Sarandon does a great job as “character you want to see get punched”.


Unfortunately, every “bad guy” change of heart felt telegraphed due to their last name or country of origin, making the film feel more like a tired exploitation flick than a modern superhero story. Even Meteor Man let the Golden Lords stay bad at the end. At least it didn’t go full Romeo Must Die and name Sarandon’s character Rivka Rothschild Kord or something.

The superhero parts were fine for 2002.

 BobtheInquisitor wrote:



Blue Beetle

The superhero parts were fine for 2002.

The problem with DC in a nutshell, and increasingly Marvel too.

 Ahtman wrote:
The Killer (2023)

Directed by David Fincher and starring Michael Fassbender The Killer is about a professional assassin and is a very paced film focusing more on the practical elements of the job. The first fifteen minutes is the character spending days waiting for his target and monologuing about the precautions and preparations he has to undertake. "My recent costume is a German tourist. No one remembers German tourists." Each "chapter" follows the same pattern of the Killer investigating to find his target then putting a plan into motion. It is the kind of movie where the characters don't get names but instead are The Killer, The Brute, The Lawyer, and so on. Not Fincher's best but still very good, overall.

It would have been nice to see in a theater but I don't think any near me had it, or if they did it was just one week then gone, which is standard for Netflix. They don't want you going to the theater, after all.

Solid recommendation. I enjoyed this movie.
It's almost a ninja movie for the real world. All of the real challenges a hit man has to overcome now to do a job and several over the counter solutions to those problems.
I enjoyed the fight with the dog owner in his home. Dude came off as an monster in that fight. It sold how dangerous he was. Good "pro wrestling" by which I mean physical storytelling. The first escape was well done too.