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Blood Tornado is on the DVD Extras. It looks terrible.

Honestly I recall Blade's effects being pretty good for their day. I think its just the way that CGI looks good when its fresh, but can often age really poorly as the tech continues to push forward with leaps and bounds.

I’ve been trying and failing to watch Prometheus and Covenant.

But they annoy me on a near cellular level. Great casts, gorgeous filming, all let down by stupid plots. And worse? The tech shown just doesn’t seem to share a lineage with what we see in Alien, Aliens and Alien 3.

It also takes one of the most interesting questions in sci-fi (just where did the Xenomorph come from? Who or what was the Navigator), and offers not only a cackhanded answer, but the most boring answer to that question.

Was it some hyper evolved creature, removed from its native environment and its associated checks and balances?

No!

Was it perhaps some kind of biological weapon?

No! Well. Kind of.

So what was it then?

C-Creepio decided to make them. Nobody really knows why, and if it is explained I’m afraid everyone that’s ever seen the movie were in boredom induced comas by the time it’s explained. But…but….Mad Android! That worked in Alien, so it works here, right? Right???

I'm still baffled they never used the Comics as the source material - all that stuff was fleshed out way way better decades ago. I know he does some hand waving of "Well maybe they aren't prequels just something else" but we know they are and they are boring.

Also what really annoys me is that in both cases humanity is shown to be the main cause of events that result in the Alien film happening. Which to me is just, it removes the alien elements of the whole story.


Why did this alien ship crash here on this world; who made it; why is it full of eggs - all those questions answered by "well the guy who is head of the super-mega firm organised a trip and it wound up being caused by a handful of people".




But yeah they are very pretty films with lots of awesome special effects, but the story isn't worth it.

I’d definitely agree on them referring to the comics more.

Dark Horse had a pretty solid run over the years. Sure not everything was gold, but a decent majority was.

Prey, the Predator sequel takes cues from various Dark Horse comics, and it worked out really, really well. So as well as proof of concept, it shows you don’t need to do a direct translation. Just delve into that archive, find cool and interesting beats and developments to fold in.

Come to think of it, Alien Ressurrection may have got the Chestburster Through The Noggin from Dark Horse, as there’s a super similar panel in one of the comics.

But for me, boring is the worst cinema crime. A bad film I can usually find something to enjoy, even if it’s just laughing at how incompetently it’s been made. But to be boring? How dare you waste my time with boring.

The Aliens vs Idiots movies are exemplars of social criticism that has morphed into misanthropy in the intervening decades, going from institutional failings that bring doom on otherwise uninvolved individuals to every person inherently failing in their own right and contributing to the catastrophe.

They're more fun to watch if you embrace your hatred of the characters and view the movies as slashers where the idiots get what they deserve.

True, at that point it doesn't matter much if it's aliens or robots or other people doing the slashing and they lose some of their connection to the older Alien moves. But that's evolved sociopolitical messaging for you. What are you going to do? It's something you can see with many writers or directors. Take them out of the time and circumstances that created their classics, and give them enough time to think about how ongoing life experience alters their views, and the same people will often not be willing anymore to create something that is reminiscent and respectful of the original creations. That's just the way it goes.

One of the things I really like about Alien 4 is that as soon as the Xenomorphs break out?

Set the self destruct, and abandon ship.

Do not engage unless necessary. No glorious last stand. Just…bail. GTFO as fast and as orderly as we can.

That is a sensible military right there. Project is a bust, write it off. Save lives. Stop them spreading.

That's true. It's always good to see people who are supposed to know what they're doing to actually act the part.

Good call. This got me on the Jake Gyllenhall film Life. A space station investigating a wholly new and unknown life form, and yet none of them knew about the final barrier protocols, or appeared to be prepared for pretty critical and foreseeable decisions.

This is where Ryan George would announce it was needed “for the film to happen”.

It’s one of the many reasons I’ll defend Alien 4 to my dying day.

Sure, it’s not quite the sum of its parts, and the ending is a bit muddled? But there’s so much good in there.

The giant military “NOPE” was so satisfying.




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Especially when he rolls the grenade into the escape pod. Not just to spare his mean a drawn out death, but to stop that Alien doing anymore harm than it’s already done.

And not done in a panic!

I’m not from a military background or family, but I do so hate the whole soldiers going to pot in the face of adversity.

One or two, like Hudson in Aliens? Sure. Because the rest snap him back to his senses. But even better is Alien 4 and Dog Soldiers.

Especially Dog Soldiers.

I mean….

I still think Dog Soldiers, for all its extreme small budget, has some of the best looking werewolves!


Also I'd argue that whilst Alien 4 is a bit ropy on the science to get Sigorney back in the film as Ripley, once you move past that its very solid as a film. Yes its more action than horror; however it also felt a lot like a fanservice film. We got Ripley being "bad ass" we also got to see aliens full bodied running, swimming and fighting and all. Which we'd never really seen clear in earlier films.

Overall its the last really solid Alien film - even Alien 3 is pretty solid once you see the Directors Cut which fills in all the gaps that got cut out to make it fit a cinema time slot (though I'd argue changing the alien from dog to bull was a mistake - the dog hatching scene is FAR more horror inducing than the bull)

 BobtheInquisitor wrote:
Apparently they wanted to make a blood-tornado final boss, but it looked too goofy, so instead we get that sword fight. If I recall, it’s the first fight in the film that isn’t Steven Seagal levels of lopsided in Blade’s favor.


The CGI blood just adds to that 90’s cheese for me. That and the soundtrack.

It had awesome set pieces. The opening club scene has yet to be topped by any other B movie in my opinion.

And unlike the endless punching of marvel films which honestly leads me to love their Egyptian series for cutting most of it out, I am quite happy to see him slaughter his way through the mooks. Funny how that seems appropriate in some settings and silly in others?

The_Real_Chris wrote:
And unlike the endless punching of marvel films which honestly leads me to love their Egyptian series for cutting most of it out, I am quite happy to see him slaughter his way through the mooks. Funny how that seems appropriate in some settings and silly in others?

Last time I watched all three of the Blade films and contributed my thoughts on here this is one of the things I bought up. Yes, in the first film Blade rips his way though the hordes of undead but it feels like there are things at stake. The second film was an absolute flop for me as it shows both vampires and the mutant-vampires as insignificant to Blade.

The_Real_Chris wrote:

 BobtheInquisitor wrote:
Apparently they wanted to make a blood-tornado final boss, but it looked too goofy, so instead we get that sword fight. If I recall, it’s the first fight in the film that isn’t Steven Seagal levels of lopsided in Blade’s favor.


The CGI blood just adds to that 90’s cheese for me. That and the soundtrack.

It had awesome set pieces. The opening club scene has yet to be topped by any other B movie in my opinion.

And unlike the endless punching of marvel films which honestly leads me to love their Egyptian series for cutting most of it out, I am quite happy to see him slaughter his way through the mooks. Funny how that seems appropriate in some settings and silly in others?

I think it worked in Blade 1 because you still get the sense that whist he's carved his way through a whole room; its still a whole room of vampires and their servants. In a lot of modern marvel its more that they carve themselves through an entire city block with insane amounts of people who likely got killed and injured, but the films almost make no mention of this.

I think the best example is the Superman one where he has huge moral issues with hurting or killing anyone and yet during the final fight there are fuel stations and buildings being blown up and torn apart and yet he's only shedding a tear for the guy he's fighting.


In Blade the world doesn't care because most of those killed are Vampires and their servants who by nature hide themselves. The actual innocents who die are fairly few and far between. They happen, but they happen within the realms of what society could tolerate without a huge upheaval. Blade 2 and 3 are a bit harder to believe and follow as they do start to head down the pathway of "its all hidden and super secrete with massive fortress bases and armies and stuff" .



Also even in the opening scene you get the distinct sense that whilst Blade killed a lot of vampires, many also escaped. It's not the "and then he appeared and everyone died; no one escaped out a side door or just fled or anything."

It also helps that the fight scenes are enjoyable to watch. There’s choreography that we can follow, the editing doesn’t obscure what’s happening and the fights usually end before they stop being interesting.

This whole period has a great balance of fight scenes being stylish without being silly or tedious. Looking at films like Mortal Kombat and Demolition Man makes me miss that craft movies used to bring to action. Superhero fights these days tend to last too long and try too hard to dazzle with effects rather than choreography.

True - the recent Transformers films have a lot of examples where there's a bonkers amount of detail on the characters (mechs) and in the fight scene. However there is so much going on you can't really focus on the actual action. It's just a huge blur of explosions and stuff happening.

The Dial of Destiny

This felt like an Indy film, and the character had an arc that made sense.

However, the climax was...... well..... it was worse than the Crystal Skull.

However, the epilogue felt good. I thought it fit in fine with the other Indy films and was way better than Skull.

 BobtheInquisitor wrote:
B...special effects shots that linger so long they move beyond boring and into hilarious....

I think this was very much a thing that worked better on initial release, as it was an opportunity to show how much more advanced the film effects were than the series, and most Trekkies at the time loved it (aside from endless complaining about them 'ruining' Klingons).

It was also nice to get a 'proper' unveiling of the new Enterprise, even if the flyaround did perhaps go on a little longer than it strictly needed to. My one big gripe with First Contact was the introduction of the Enterprise D but never really getting a good look at it.

 Overread wrote:
Honestly I recall Blade's effects being pretty good for their day. I think its just the way that CGI looks good when its fresh, but can often age really poorly as the tech continues to push forward with leaps and bounds.

I saw Blade in the cinema on release, and no, the CGI blood was cheesy even then. Also the sped-up car a the start was just weird.

Other than that, it was a fantastic watch on the big screen. And the soundtrack is a banger.

 Easy E wrote:
The Dial of Destiny

This felt like an Indy film, and the character had an arc that made sense.

However, the climax was...... well..... it was worse than the Crystal Skull.

However, the epilogue felt good. I thought it fit in fine with the other Indy films and was way better than Skull.

Also some almost flawless de-aging.

Which will probably look awful a year from now... Looking at you, Tron Legacy.

Can’t be arsed to look it up right now, but I know TMP started off as an intended sequel TV Series (Phase 2) which was later adapted into a movie, following the success of Star Wars.

If memory serves, the long drawn out effects shots were essentially padding, and showing off. I can easily imagine it also serving as proof of how good a TV show could look. After all, the sets were already built, so a big chunk of rigging for a new series was already paid for.

Thankfully, at least for my money, we got TNG instead. A vastly superior sequel which successfully modernised the franchise. And gave us one of two Captains I’d gladly follow into the very gates of hell, the other being Sisko.

We have swapped over from D+ to Netflix for a bit, so I watched the Killer last night. Michaels Fassbender looking very intense and mournful for 2 hours. Definately not high adrenaline action, very much a slow moving thoughtful piece on the nature of people and their decision making process.

A couple of good action scenes, and some interesting character interactions, but I would only go for it if you either really like Michael Fassbender, or really like internal character monologues and narration.

Personally, I think you would be better off watching Grosse Point Blanc if you want some hitman personal conflict action.

Somewhere Quiet (2023)

Psychological thriller were a man and woman take a little sojourn to their families lakehouse. The man seems kind of overbearing and the woman very timid. Turns out that the women was kidnapped/tortured previously and is still in the process of recovering. It has some interesting things that could have made it freaky, but it never pulled the trigger on the stuff that could've sent it next level. There is an interesting twist in that the man has something to hide, but I got kind of lost in the visuals about what was real and what wasn't. I didn't really know what to believe, but I guess that's what they were aiming for in trying to highlight a broken mind.

This is one of those movies where there is a massive split in critics and viewers. 90% Fresh on Rotten Tomatoes with critics, 31% audience. I would put it at 50% score myself. Could've been something to remember, but misses the mark.


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 Flinty wrote:
We have swapped over from D+ to Netflix for a bit, so I watched the Killer last night. Michaels Fassbender looking very intense and mournful for 2 hours. Definately not high adrenaline action, very much a slow moving thoughtful piece on the nature of people and their decision making process.

A couple of good action scenes, and some interesting character interactions, but I would only go for it if you either really like Michael Fassbender, or really like internal character monologues and narration.

Personally, I think you would be better off watching Grosse Point Blanc if you want some hitman personal conflict action.

I remember liking that movie when it came out. Just something different from most of what's out there. Like if John Wick was real.

But probably not going to re-watch it anytime soon though. This movie did remind me that I misplaced my paddle for a flight of whiskeys and I ordered a new one the next day.

After a 3rd night watching the movie piecemeal, I finally finished Reptile on Netflix.

As a police/crime/detective type movie, I'd rate it fairly good. The plot twists, while not particularly surprising, were also not horribly obvious, and were done in ways to keep both the audience engaged, and the plot moving.

Its not a police action thriller, more of a cerebral mental thriller type deal, as the plot does feel slow moving.

Only thing that still confuses me is, other than one brief 5 seconds on screen, I don't get how the title of the movie reflects into the movie itself.

Ricky Stanicky

Comedy movie on Amazon Prime, starring Zac Efron and John Cena.

This is an odd one. Any scene with Cena in it is good fun. He’s a brilliant comic actor with decent range. In that whilst somewhat typecast now, he’s not just playing himself in different roles.

The rest of the cast? Eh. Andrew Santino in particular annoys me. Like Seth MacFarlane, his acting seems to be limited to glowering whilst awaiting his line, and like Seth MacFarlane? His eyebrows don’t really move. At all. Nothing is expressed through the eyes. And given he’s in a lot of scenes? He’s dragging the film down for me.

It reminds me of 90’s screwball/gross out comedies. But without the gross out.

It is fun, but it’s uneven. If I’d paid to see this either in the cinema or a rental, I think I’d feel disappointed. But as a freebie it’s enjoyable enough. And I can see others enjoying it more than I, and as said I’ve enjoyed it well enough.


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Shades of Drop Dead Fred, Trading Places and that.

I love how often this thread veers back to the Blade films. It seems like a constant on here. And a good one.

Yeah, Cena is always fun to watch.



That's all I got to contribute really. Er....I watched some TV last night. Saw two relatively recent laugh-track sitcoms. One featuring Joel McHale as a collage teacher or something? It looked like Community making fun of bad sitcoms. The other one was United State of Al, which is about a US Marine who took an Afghan interpreter home with him before ...well, you know. Anyway, it's one of those things where a sitcom tries to take something topical and be 'fresh' and then does the same bad sitcoms have been doing for 60 years. I think it's even co-produced by Chuck Lorre, who does that a lot as far as I know.

I also watched some film I can't remember. And finished the first season of Farscape. I like that show.

Barbie: The Movie-The Motion Picture: Part I-The Movie

Meh, cute in parts.

I am a Gen Xer, everything possible has already been deconstructed and reconstructed and dereconstructed. And since this is brought to you by Mattel who are already selling "Weird Barbie" limited editions it cannot be a scathing or even slightly pointed deconstruction. Life in The Dreamhouse did it better 10 years ago.

Oh and wah, wah, wah, patriarchy. But in a cute funny sort of way that does not require anyone to do anything.

3 stars of 5.

Out of Darkness (2024)

Might be a bold statement this early in 2024, but this might be the best horror movie thats set in the Paleolithic era this year. We’ll have to wait to see what other Caveman Horror movies come our way this year, but I’m pretty confident this is the top dog in this very, very specific sudgenre.

Started off as a pretty slow burn that establishes the precariousness of life way back when, then once the “monster” abducts the youngster of the group, it gets pretty fast paced and kind of gross (people gotta eat!) but not rididuclously gory. A couple fun little twists with the monster that I didn’t expect and decent tension throughout the film made this somewhat enjoyable. Just the uniqueness of the premise compelled me to give it a rent.

7/10

Now I’m on to “Lovely Dark and Deep”, which seems to be a divisive pschological horror movie judging by a quick, nonspoilery glance at reviews.

Out of Darkness sounds neat. I’ll have to check that out. What service is it streaming on?



Suspiria

The original.

I’d always heard this was weird, and boy did it deliver. The plot and character development are inconsequential to the film, which is all about mood and atmosphere. The sets are gorgeous and unsettling, especially once the colored lights hit them. The score is also deeply weird and viscerally disturbing. I’ve never seen a movie like it before.

I highly recommend watching it, at least the first 20-30 minutes to get a sense of how it feels.

It’s free with ads on Tubi, if that makes a difference.

 Kid_Kyoto wrote:
Barbie: The Movie-The Motion Picture: Part I-The Movie

Meh, cute in parts.

I am a Gen Xer, everything possible has already been deconstructed and reconstructed and dereconstructed. And since this is brought to you by Mattel who are already selling "Weird Barbie" limited editions it cannot be a scathing or even slightly pointed deconstruction. Life in The Dreamhouse did it better 10 years ago.

Oh and wah, wah, wah, patriarchy. But in a cute funny sort of way that does not require anyone to do anything.

3 stars of 5.

My daughter got bored and wandered out half way through. I did find it interesting though finding out which friends liked it and which didn't. Definitively went down better with the more TV watching orientated crowd than the bunch that don't watch much anymore.

 BobtheInquisitor wrote:
Out of Darkness sounds neat. I’ll have to check that out. What service is it streaming on?.

Was an I-tunes rental, not sure if anyone is streaming it yet.

Lovely, Dark and Deep (2023)

Another I-tunes rental.

A psychological horror flick that features a newly minted park ranger out on her first summer in a vast US national park. Starts creepy early on, with our main character listening to some form of Coast-to-Coast AM show or "Missing 411" audiobook talking about the amount of "strange" disappearances in US parks. This movie takes a more otherworldly/supernatural explanation and runs with it somewhat effectively. It was a decent enough rental from a first time director(I think) with some wild visuals at times, though I am getting tired of long, panning shots of an upside down landscape to really hammer home that someone is disoriented or some such. 2 movies in a row did it to me.

Damsel on Netflix.

Millie Bobby Brown kicking ass and taking names again. It’s allegedly a 12 rating. Quite a lot of people get melted for it to get that rating I think… I will not be sharing this with young Ms Flinty for a few years yet.

The big bad is gorgeously realised though.

I wonder if anyone has bootlegged an STL for it yet