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tonight I watched The Other Side of the Mountain with my discord. while not without some pacing issues at the end, this is a gorgeous film which explores the national tragedy which Korea has suffered over the last eight decades. it provides a great sense of humanity to North Korea throughout, and I think everyone should see that

oh, and the locations that they used for this film were consistently gorgeous. I was watching a 360p version of this film I downloaded off archive.org, and it still made for a gorgeous watch, especially with how the cinematography uses the geography as a tool

Death Race 2000

A dear friend of mine.


Have you ever been in a car slowed by pedestrians and heard someone say, “50 points for the old lady”? Death Race 2000 is the reason why.

It’s another 70’s dystopian Sci Fi movie, but this one brings a level of satire, comedy and violence that won’t be surpassed until Robocop. David Carradine, Sylvester Stallone, Paul Bartel, Dan Steele and Joyce Jameson all deliver.

Watch it.



The Lost Boys

The one with the oiled-up saxophone player.


Thou shall not fall…

Dracula may have made vampires sexy, but The Lost Boys was the film that made them cool as feth.

Thou shall not die…

This comedy-horror somehow threaded the needle to deliver both an angsty teen horror movie and an 80’s children’s monster caper. There’s also plenty of subtext if you want to look for it.

Thou shall not fear…

Two Coreys and the Kiefer. You can’t beat that cast. And the soundtrack is top tier.

Thou shall not kill…

Heck, The Lost Boys is worth seeing just for the last line of the movie. Talk about going out strong.

Lost Boys also made me eat my considerable words about sodding sparkly vampires.

See when Marco (Bill, out of Bill and Ted) gets staked and our heroes flee the Vampire’s lair?

The goo they’re covered in is glittery.

Absolute belter of a movie.

Complete aside? As I can now make pretty glass geegaws, my main friends got a Tim Cappleo “oiled up saxophonist” one each for Christmas last year.

Gonjiam: Haunted Asylum

A ghost hunting youtuber livestreams a show from a notorious abandoned asylum, how far will they go to earn those sweet, sweet views?

This Korean, found footage horror movie takes a little too long to get going (I almost stopped watching), but once it does it's actually pretty darn good.
I probably found it scarier than most people would (I seem to have only 2 settings:- "This isn't scary at all" and "Pants-wettingly terrifying", which is why I don't watch a lot of horror), but I think any fan of the genre would enjoy it, if they can sit through the first hour.

 BobtheInquisitor wrote:
Death Race 2000

A dear friend of mine.


Have you ever been in a car slowed by pedestrians and heard someone say, “50 points for the old lady”? Death Race 2000 is the reason why.

It’s another 70’s dystopian Sci Fi movie, but this one brings a level of satire, comedy and violence that won’t be surpassed until Robocop. David Carradine, Sylvester Stallone, Paul Bartel, Dan Steele and Joyce Jameson all deliver.

Watch it.



The Lost Boys

The one with the oiled-up saxophone player.


Thou shall not fall…

Dracula may have made vampires sexy, but The Lost Boys was the film that made them cool as feth.

Thou shall not die…

This comedy-horror somehow threaded the needle to deliver both an angsty teen horror movie and an 80’s children’s monster caper. There’s also plenty of subtext if you want to look for it.

Thou shall not fear…

Two Coreys and the Kiefer. You can’t beat that cast. And the soundtrack is top tier.

Thou shall not kill…

Heck, The Lost Boys is worth seeing just for the last line of the movie. Talk about going out strong.

Two classics. For Death Race I always remember the unscrewing of the bionic hand with the build-in grenade. Literally - there is a half a WW2 hand grenade sticking out of the palm!

MarkNorfolk wrote:


Two classics. For Death Race I always remember the unscrewing of the bionic hand with the build-in grenade. Literally - there is a half a WW2 hand grenade sticking out of the palm!

It's such a groan worthy pun, a literal hand grenade.

Fright Night (original)

The Lost Boys’ dorky brother.

This is another great vampire movie from the 80’s. The effects are much more intense and disturbing than in any other vampire film I can think of. There’s a mouth effect late in the film that caught me by surprise with how creepily effective it was.

The teenagers in this film are no Coreys, but there are two excellent actors who carry the film: Roddy MacDowell as a Peter Cushing/Vincent Price type actor dragged into a real life vampire hunt, and Chris Sarandon single-handedly filling the quota for sexy, cool vampires in this vampire film. The soundtrack is pretty good, although there are a few generic stand-ins for real songs they couldn’t afford. Also, there’s plenty of subtext if you want to look for it.

If you like 80’s horror and practical monster effects, watch it.



Gymkata

Yakmala!


Picture it: Parmistan, 1985. Dollar store M Bison has a pommel horse built in every town. It’s time for the annual Death Race in a country that can afford only 5 horses. Out of work flag ninjas stand at every corner. And the one man wrecking crud chosen by the United States to win the Cold War through martial arts is a gymnast whose hair aspires to be as charismatic as the Encyclopedia Brittanica kid’s.

This film has atrocious editing, laughably bad writing, acting as flat and bland as last year’s matzah, a film score straight out of a Hong Kong editor’s garbage pail, and Manos-level cinematography, in that there are closeup dialogue scenes out of focus. Yet, it took me most of the movie to figure out what really made it feel uncanny. Then it struck me, like an arrow shot into a stunt man’s padded tummy—Richard Norton.

The villain of the film is Zamir, who is both played by Richard Norton and is also one of the few people given a horse and a bow and arrow. Let me rephrase that: they paid to get Kung Fu flick legend Richard Norton, who famously holds his own against Cynthia Rothrock and Jackie Chan, and they put him on a horse and made him shoot people to kill them. I still can’t wrap my mind around this. This is worse than hiring Al Leong and only filming him in a helicopter cockpit. It’s bad enough the film wanted us to take Gymkata seriously as a martial art, but teasing us with a major Kung Fu star only to deliver a late stage Cameron Mitchell character, that’s low. That really pommels my horse.

Do not watch. It’s bad, and mostly not fun bad.


Fantasmagorie

Labeled as the first cartoon, this 1908 short is delightful. Check it out.


Anchors Aweigh

The MC Skat Cat of the 1940’s.

If you ever saw Tom and Jerry and thought, “you know how I’d Roger Rabbit this franchise? By having Jerry dance his tail off next to the sailor with the tightest pants in the war”, then this is the movie for you. The dancing is top tier, and there’s plenty of subtext if you want to look for it.

Beverly Hills Cop (1984, currently on Netflix)

What can be said of one of the most popular and beloved comedies of the 80s which turned Eddie Murphy from a star into a superstar.

It is... of its time.

Eddie Murphy is a renegade cop who plays by his own rules, and when his favorite second cousin (or whatever) is murdered the investigation takes him to Beverly Hills. In America's most posh town he meets up with the straight-laced by-the-books cops. Shenanigans, culture shock, cons, and violence follow.

The film is at its best when it relies on the charisma of Murphy and his three foils Judge Reinhold, John Ashton and future Omni Consumer Products president Ronny Cox. I would love 2 hours of Murphy conning and offending his way through high society (a tactical N-bomb gets him into an exclusive hotel).

But the action is rote, there's a great car chase for the opening, but the final battle in the drug lord's mansion is just... awful. Thugs with machine guns missing every shot, heroes with revolvers hitting every time. Makes you realize how much of a revelation the Hong Kong action directors were.

Apparently this was almost a Sylvester Stallone vehicle with him playing Axel Cobretti, a humorless thug. I can't imagine what that film would be like.

 aku-chan wrote:
Gonjiam: Haunted Asylum

A ghost hunting youtuber livestreams a show from a notorious abandoned asylum, how far will they go to earn those sweet, sweet views?

This Korean, found footage horror movie takes a little too long to get going (I almost stopped watching), but once it does it's actually pretty darn good.
I probably found it scarier than most people would (I seem to have only 2 settings:- "This isn't scary at all" and "Pants-wettingly terrifying", which is why I don't watch a lot of horror), but I think any fan of the genre would enjoy it, if they can sit through the first hour.

Yes.

If you're a fan of found footage or just like B-tier horror flicks, this is a good one.

Well.

It’s payday! It’s Friday! And a Bank Holiday! And I’m a bit drunk,

Fallen Angels

Lawks a merch this is awful. Like, proper proper awful. Crap CGI! Even worse acting! Michael Madsen because I guess a new conservatory doesn’t pay for itself! And literally nobody else you’ve heard of before!

Seems Angels have their arse in their hands because reasons, and so…erm…..crap script and crappier acting?

See this film? Call the Winchesters. They’ll sort this out in like, 20 minutes, whilst bringing much need warmth, charisma and talent,

To the point I neither know now care WTF is going on.

But I also bought the sequel. Could that possibly be worse?

Stay tuned, Crap Fans!


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Typical quote?

Hey, can I see your gun?]

No.

No?

You have your own gun

That makes sense.

Also, I’ve no idea who these arseholes are meant to be.

How does Fallen Angels compare to Legion?


Anyway,

Phantasm

The one with the Boyyyyyyy.


Phantasm gave us horror icons The Tall Man and his Sentinek Spheres, every bit as cool and menacing as Freddy and his glove or Jason and his hockey mask. It also gave us a pretty great score if you like the scores for Halloween and the Exorcist, with maybe a dash of Suspiria.


But is it a good movie? It’s uh, it’s a marmite movie. Slow pacing, plot holes left after the excision of an hour of story, a twist ending that makes ANOES’s ending look sensical, amateurish acting…but also a nightmarish atmosphere, passion, and an almost Evil Dead do-it-yourself-filmmaker energy. The gore effects are minimal yet memorable, and there are little things in there for Dune and Star Wars fans. I enjoyed it.

Longlegs (2024)

Very wild and twisted movie involving an FBI agent tracking down a satanic serial killer. I liked it, but it was pretty damn bleak. Nicholas Cage was unrecognizable and disturbing as feth. Probably not everyone’s cup of tea, but I enjoyed it.

Apparently there is some subtle hidden imagery scattered throughout the film, so I may give it a rewatch.

Beverly Hills Cop II - More Hills More Cops

When Starfleet Captain Edward Jellico is shot by Red Sonja and Al the Hologram, Axel Foley drops everything to investigate!

Eddie Murphy once again teams up with Judge Reinhold and John Ashton to investigate the Alphabet Crimes a team of robbers led by Bridgette Nielsen and Dean Stockwell.

There's car crashes, shooting, and cons. Obligatory trips to a strip bar and the Playboy Mansion.

Not as funny as BHC I and like BHC I it's at its best when Murphy is fast talking and conning folks. The action is a bit rote, but the final battle is a step up from the end of BHC I.

Reinhold and Ashton get a bit more to do this time other than be white straight men to Murphy's clown. Reinhold seems to be going fully psycho carrying ever bigger guns and speculating which music his plants like better. Ashton gets a divorce. Ronny Cox is barely in it, apparently working on Robocop, but he gets hawt daughter who, to my surprise, is never taken hostage nor rescued by Murphy.

If you liked One you'll like II.

I needed some feel good entertainment this last week. Enjoyed My name is Nobody and then last night A Genius two friends and a dupe*.

These movies are just so much fun.

Terence Hill could be an Angel or the Coyote sprit. He's got a plan and steers the other characters along to his ends. Wonderful stuff in both movies.

A Genius two friends and a dupe*
It reminds me a lot of some kind of classics anime.

You can watch them both on youtube, enjoy the ride.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-GTDP31UbzM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QSRl7tVvU30

Angels Fallen: Warriors of Peace

It’s the sequel! And this time it’s got Cuba Gooding Jr and Denise Richards.

But I’ve still no idea what’s going on. And the billed cast, 15 minutes in, are yet to pop up. Oh, wait. There’s Cuba now. And with him, the first example of anything approaching acting effort thus far. I think he might be playing God? No, wait. He’s Balthazar. And apparently he’s been sent to tell Gabriel (apparently a human?) he’s got to fight Arch Angel Michael and his army of demons.

Why is Michael building an army of demons? We don’t really know. Or maybe it’s just I don’t care.

i couldn't even make it through the trailer to that movie when i came across it a few days ago

Put it this way?

From now on, whenever someone confuses mediocrity with crap? I’m going to make them watch this film.

The fights are few and lame, with Segal type slap fighting and painfully slow. And kick off for…..absolutely no reason.

Mr Gooding Jr has seemingly collected his cheque after his scene and legged it. Denise Richards is yet to appear. And I still haven’t the foggiest what’s going on or why. I don’t know who’s who, and I don’t care.

Pretty sure this is one of those tax avoidance movies. And somehow they’ve put negative effort into it. Flat dialogue, flat delivery.

There is so far nothing redeeming about it.

Wait, 50 or so minutes and Denise Richards has shown her delightful face. As some kind of weapons creator. But she also reckons snipers are best off with knives. So I think she’s a bit bonkers. Or she’s snuck in and is just having a bit of a laugh.



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Oh yeah. And there’s one character who looks like a cross between Benny out of The Mummy and Dr Pershing out of The Mandalorian.

And all he does is just sort of…stand there. Looking demented. I’m genuinely wondering if he’s meant to be there, or was just some local fruitloop who wandered on to set, and they made some use of him.

Also, given this is the old heaven and hell stuff? One is left wondering why God didn’t just sort it all out. I mean…it’s his creations being difficult, and the whole omnipotence, omnipresence etc thing.

One, two, three, altogether now “so the movie can happen”!

Well it shouldn’t

Spider-Man Marathon

I'm rewatching the OG Toby trilogy. Still a solid set of movies imo. Good entertainment and the start of the age of comic movies.

But just to voice something that struck me; you ever notice how fethed up the 2nd movie presents 'doing the right thing?'

Like, Peter quits being Spider-Man but oh no. That man is getting mugged. Damn. Too bad Spider-Man doesn't exist tot do something about it; bitch you're there XD You could do something about it. Peter Parker! It's just a mugger not a supervillain come on if you really wanted to do something you could try!

And then like, total mood whiplash right after that scene where Peter is fessing up the Aunt May all 'Uncle Ben died because he was the only one willing to do the right thing' but it sure sounds like Uncle Ben died because a guy with a gun said give me your car and he was like 'what are you going to do if I say no? Shoot me?' Like yeah, Peter could have stopped that guy too but how is choosing to die over a car the 'right thing to do?' It's a car man. And at least in these movies the guy was just a thief up to that point. Money and cars can be replaced. A life can't.

And then it's just 'wait, was Uncle Ben just a stupid old man who died for nothing?'

Hits different when you're older XD

EDIT: Also MJ knows you're spider-man Peter and she's still being kind of a unreasonable friend. The sweet Russian girl has cake! Come on man there's potential there and MJ's just kind of a lot of work for a kind of vapid girl. Chose the cake Peter! She's into you! Go for it!

Firewalker

A 1986 Indiana Jones knock-off, starring *deep breath* Chuck Norris, Louis Gossett Jr, Melody Anderson, John Rhys Davis and Sonny Landham. All with a comedy bent.

I really don’t know what to make of this. It is funny, and there are production values. But….it feels like what would happen if you’re a talentless “content creator” on YouTube relying solely on AI tools to make a “what-if” video of the genre, feeding in Romancing The Stone, Scooby Doo and Indiana Jones, but accidentally dropped in a bunch of Italian knock-offs, and tried to balance it out with National Treasure.

It’s hokey. It’s not at all original. But dammit, it is bloody good fun! Chuck Norris plays against type, as it’s his treasure hunting buddy Louis Gossett Jr that’s the fountain of knowledge and crack shot. And it’s nice to see Melody Anderson on screen. Who is also psychic in this, and why not.

In fact…you know what? For British Dakkanauts? In this, Chuck Norris reminds me of Paul Chuckle out the Chuckle Brothers.

Probably a film best enjoyed with friends and few beers on a Dodgy Movie Night. Also probably a fun one for kids.

Been on a plane again, and binged The Lord of the Ring. Basic, general release versions. I was struck with what wasn't there, having been so used to the 'Extended' versions. No 'Concerning Hobbits' just seemed odd.

 Mad Doc Grotsnik wrote:
Firewalker

A 1986 Indiana Jones knock-off, starring *deep breath* Chuck Norris, Louis Gossett Jr, Melody Anderson, John Rhys Davis and Sonny Landham. All with a comedy bent.

I really don’t know what to make of this. It is funny, and there are production values. But….it feels like what would happen if you’re a talentless “content creator” on YouTube relying solely on AI tools to make a “what-if” video of the genre, feeding in Romancing The Stone, Scooby Doo and Indiana Jones, but accidentally dropped in a bunch of Italian knock-offs, and tried to balance it out with National Treasure.

It’s hokey. It’s not at all original. But dammit, it is bloody good fun! Chuck Norris plays against type, as it’s his treasure hunting buddy Louis Gossett Jr that’s the fountain of knowledge and crack shot. And it’s nice to see Melody Anderson on screen. Who is also psychic in this, and why not.

In fact…you know what? For British Dakkanauts? In this, Chuck Norris reminds me of Paul Chuckle out the Chuckle Brothers.

Probably a film best enjoyed with friends and few beers on a Dodgy Movie Night. Also probably a fun one for kids.

I remember having a good laugh at the ending. Haven't watched firewalker in years. I'll have to fix that.

Deadpool

You mileage may vary depending on your Ryan Reynolds tolerance. I did enjoy when he took shots at himself though.

I saw this a long time ago, and recall liking it. However, this time it just felt.... kinda forced and tedious.

I have a higher tolerance of Ryan Reynolds than for huge companies incorporating critique of their product to make more money. But I'm just no fun. In that regard, I did watch the Deadpool film several years ago and wasn't all that into it.

It's been even longer that I watched Firewalker, but that one was fun.

Invasion USA

In which Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris, and there’s a bunch of baddies that need blowing up because drugs or something.

Some fairly brutal scenes so far, including the gratuitous shooting of someone in their Rude Bit for some reason, and a woman that didn’t do anything to harm the baddie so far as I can tell getting the pipe for her Showbiz Sherbert stuffed up her nose Dark Knight style, then lobbed out a window.

Bad guys have now come after Norris. And the opening shot could be misinterpreted as Norris himself, compacted down, being shot out the underslung grenade launcher, as we see the shot be taken, then Norris launched through a window on the opposite side.

So far, so pretty standard for Action Flicks.

I haven’t liked Norris in anything since his cartoon.

These might be my first “starring Chuck Norris” films.

No particular reason why like.

But now we have the invasion, and main baddy just blew up a street. During the Christmas. The git.

Im sure Chuck will straighten all this out.

Hell Hole

Saw some buzz about this one on the 'indie horror' websites so I tried it out.

It's not bad.

I mean, it's a B movie in the vein of Alien and the Thing. Actually not atrocious in terms of its parts and for most of its run it's about as good as you can expect a movie that runs on curated cliches to be.

Then the end kind of gaks the bed with stupid gak but eh. If you want a goofy silly dumb horror flick that reminds of Alien and the Thing, it's okay.

 BobtheInquisitor wrote:
I haven’t liked Norris in anything since his cartoon.

I've always had a soft spot for Silent Rage (1982).

It is essentially Chuck Norris vs a slasher movie unkillable killer.