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 aku-chan wrote:
Five Night's At Freddys

Based on a video game I've never played. A man with serious mental health issues takes a night job at a haunted, run-down, pizza party place to save his sister (Who also has serious mental health issues and is of indeterminate age, I could never figure out if she was a early teen playing a little girl or not) from their cartoonishly villainess aunt. Cursed animatronic shenanigans ensue.

Very much the definition of meh.
The main problem is, it's not even remotely scary (Always a bad sign with horror movies) and pretty stupid but not in a good way.

You should watch Willy's Wonderland, which is the same basic concept, only the star Nicholas Cage, NEVER SPEAKS throughout the whole film.

Willy’s Wonderland is, for me, the superior movie.

Note however I’ve never played FNAF. So I can only speak for the quality of the two films, and not the originality.


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Big Trouble In Little China

Have you paid your dues?

Because this is absolute proof positive that Kurt Russell is a hidden treasure of an actor. Like The Thing, this movie took time to find its audience, being a surprising box office flop (reviews were positive).

This is bonkers and brilliant in equal measure. And in a way? Perhaps it’s box office failure is for the best, as it meant no sequel, leaving us with just this singular example of cinematic creativity.

It’s all in the reflexes!

 BobtheInquisitor wrote:
Santa’s Slay

“I’m Santa Claus, not f—ing Dracula.”

This is the kind of movie you watch with your family when everyone’s overfull and tired, no one wants to make a decision, and a teenager has the remote control. It was quite fun.

The premise is that Santa’s forced 1000 years of jolly kindness just came to an end and he’s got a lot of slaying to make up for. The film is less a story than a collection of great kills, groaner lines, hilarious set pieces, and cheesy filler. The opening scene is worth the price of admission, but there are also stand out scenes in a strip club, a police station (briefly), an Rankin Bass-style cutaway, and a Troy McLure caliber high speed chase.

The cast is absolutely stacked. Name another film where you can see James Caan killed by Turkey leg, Fran Drescher immolated and Saul Rubinek impaled on a menorah.

It’s not as good as Violent Night, but it has a place in every horror fan’s killer Christmas rotation.

Heck yea, I really like that film. Caught it on TV once. At first I wasn't sure, but when they got into the batpoop insane mythology behind it all they got me. And a few bits of the film I found genuinely funny. The opening scene I'd seen years and years before on youtube. Still no idea how they got that made.



@Easy E: Aye, it's really interesting indeed. But I think she's a tough person. Imagine being stuck in negotiations and the opposing party has her as a leader. Yikes.

@aku-chan: Yeah, from what I heard it fell short of even the incredibly low expectations it came with.

@Mad Doc Grotsnik: It's just such good fun, isn't it.

 Sigur wrote:
@aku-chan: Yeah, from what I heard it fell short of even the incredibly low expectations it came with.

It's such a funny thing. As someone who never played the game I couldn't possibly say if the movie has any merit. "Things happen, roll credits" is as close as I come.

Say what you will about Borderlands, and boy am I inclined to say what I will, but at least the uninitiated get to see something coherent that doesn't require out of movie knowledge.

Big Trouble in Little China is an all time classic and one of my favorite movies. It’s also one that I can throw on anytime, in joyous mood or deepest depression, for a needed escape.

It’s up there with Clue, Gremlins 2 and The Princess Bride for me in terms of movies that bring back my childhood for 90 minutes.

 Mad Doc Grotsnik wrote:
Big Trouble In Little China

Have you paid your dues?

Because this is absolute proof positive that Kurt Russell is a hidden treasure of an actor. Like The Thing, this movie took time to find its audience, being a surprising box office flop (reviews were positive).

This is bonkers and brilliant in equal measure. And in a way? Perhaps it’s box office failure is for the best, as it meant no sequel, leaving us with just this singular example of cinematic creativity.

It’s all in the reflexes!

Let's not forget the legendary character actor James Hong as Lo Pan. After all a film may have the perfect hero, but it needs its villain, and James Hong plays it to perfection as well.

Oh definitely. He and Victor Wong bring so much to their performances.

Russell wanted to go on record; he's not going to come back as Jack Burton for just anyone:


"You never say never. I mean, if somebody were to write a great script, that was better than the first one, [and] it had something new to say. I don't know, we can slap John Carpenter around a little bit and say, 'Come on, John! Let's go do this.'"

The "slap John around a little bit" line is in reference to John Carpenter's famed semi-retired state. Carpenter hasn't directed a theatrical feature since 2010's "The Ward."

Terrifier

A lazy, trope riddled horror flick.

Sure, our villain has a strong look, and his silent nature is creepy. But come on. This is nothing we haven’t seen before. And worse? Our heroine only really puts the boot in at the worst possible times, which is insulting to the audience.

There are at least two occasions she had him, and could easily, very easily, have finished the job. And if she had done so? It would’ve been a mercifully shorter film.

All the more frustrating because with a less lazy plot, this could’ve been pretty good. I mean. The cast are fine. And the director knows how to compose a film. So why cop out with Unnecessary Stupidity?

Big Business

Bette Midler and Lily Tomlin in a baby swap comedy, where two pairs of twins are mixed up at the same hospital, for the error to come to light many years later.

It’s 80’s, it’s Bette Midler, of course it’s good.

I watched a film! It's called Groundhog Day, and it's really good. Hadn't seen it in many years and never in the original language before. Really hard to report exciting things about that film everybody has seen and everybody agrees on that it's good.


Apart from that I watched the first 3 episodes of Booker. Good fun, if you're interested in enjoying that sorta stuff. Fun to see the guest stars. Evil Kimberly from Melrose Place, Gangsta Don Cheadle, bloody Deathstalker II as reformed (or not?) street thug boss! The last one was an interesting character. And I had to look him up before recognizing him, because I knew the guy, but wasn't sure where from.

Went and saw Wicked. Quite enjoyed it. The extended length breaking into a part 2 is annoying, but they extra time largely feels well used to fill out the world and give the supporting cast some depth.

I think what pleased me the most was just how much it still felt like a stage production. For the most part while there's obviously a lot more camera angles and scene shifts than is possible on stage, they didn't mess with the way characters interact or the flow of it much at all. Too many of these things feel like they've been made more movie like in translation and this one largely avoids it until the end, where they go with a big action set piece that mostly works, but definitely feels the most overblown and Hollywood bit of the whole thing.

 Sigur wrote:
I watched a film! It's called Groundhog Day, and it's really good. Hadn't seen it in many years and never in the original language before. Really hard to report exciting things about that film everybody has seen and everybody agrees on that it's good.

They do reference painting miniatures in Groundhog Day, but not in a good way.

 Easy E wrote:

 Sigur wrote:
I watched a film! It's called Groundhog Day, and it's really good. Hadn't seen it in many years and never in the original language before. Really hard to report exciting things about that film everybody has seen and everybody agrees on that it's good.

They do reference painting miniatures in Groundhog Day, but not in a good way.

Yup, they do. I didn't really find it put in a negative light (at least from a 2024 standpoint). IIRC Murray tells McDowell details about everybody in the diner,among them is that waiter/dish-away-carrier dude(?). "This is [xy], he likes to paint little figurines and he's gay.". Then XY says "yes,I am.". I went something like that. I found that pretty well done really.

In a cinematic landscape beset by the mundane and the banal, "Morbius" shines like a beacon of transcendent genius, a modern-day "Citizen Kane" that redefines the very fabric of the medium. Like a masterful symphony, Jared Leto's tour-de-force performance harmonizes with the film's bold, avant-garde narrative, crafting a rich tapestry of emotional depth and complexity that defies the pedestrian conventions of traditional storytelling. As the titular anti-hero's tortured soul wrestles with the existential implications of his vampiric curse, the viewer is transported to a realm of unbridled cinematic innovation, where the boundaries of reality are pushed to the very limits of human endurance. "Morbius" is not merely a film – it is an experience, a visceral odyssey that sears itself into the very marrow of one's being, leaving an indelible mark on the psyche that will be felt for generations to come.

<Slow clap>

I just wish Sony would put it back in theaters for everyone who missed out the first two times.

 LunarSol wrote:
I just wish Sony would put it back in theaters for everyone who missed out the first two times.

It's already been on basic cable.

 Ghaz wrote:

 LunarSol wrote:
I just wish Sony would put it back in theaters for everyone who missed out the first two times.

It's already been on basic cable.

Its needs to be seen in theaters.

 nels1031 wrote:

 Ghaz wrote:

 LunarSol wrote:
I just wish Sony would put it back in theaters for everyone who missed out the first two times.

It's already been on basic cable.

Its needs to be seen in theaters.

It needs to be buried and never seen again...

It needs to be seen in Prisons.

That’ll break even the stoutest spirits.

The War of the Rohirrim.

Yeah, its pretty good! Bit short at only 8 minutes, but can't complain as it didn't cost anything to watch on Youtube. Helm Hammerhand is definitely The Cocknocker of Middle Earth!

I am waiting for the stage play version of Morbius with bated breath!

Not the musical?

 Flinty wrote:
Not the musical?

Wait, there's a musical?


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Found it!

"Morbius: The Musical" is a dark, gothic spectacle that brings the infamous Marvel anti-hero to the stage. Starring Hugh Jackman as the titular character, a scientist-turned-vampire with a penchant for chaos, the show follows Morbius as he navigates the streets of New York City in search of a cure for his condition.

Britney Spears shines as Martine Bancroft, Morbius's love interest and a skilled scientist in her own right, while Danny DeVito brings his signature wit and charm to the role of Emil Nikos, Morbius's eccentric mentor.

The show features a haunting score, complete with hits like "Bloodlust Boogie" and "The Vampire's Lament," and showcases the talents of a talented ensemble cast, including a chorus line of dancing vampires and a show-stopping appearance by Sir Ian McKellen as a wise and mysterious ancient vampire.

Will Morbius find a cure for his curse, or will he succumb to the darkness within?

Find out in "Morbius: The Musical," a wild and unforgettable ride that will leave you screaming for more.


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I'm just kidding... or am I?

[Cue Evil laughter]

Late Night With The Devil

A man needs to revive his failing 70's talk show, will interviewing a demonically possessed girl be the ratings booster he thinks it will be?

Not sure this was a good horror movie (It's not particularly scary), but it is an interesting take on the "found footage" genre. Kinda fell apart on me in the last 20 minutes or so, I think a much more ambiguous ending would've worked better.

This took a lot longer than I thought...

Ultramarines: A Warhammer 40,000 Movie is a cinematic masterpiece that redefined the boundaries of animation and storytelling. Released in 2010, this magnum opus is a sweeping epic that transported audiences to a grim, dark future where humanity teeters on the brink of collapse. This majestic film is a testament to the unparalleled genius of its creators, who dared to dream big and push the limits of what is possible in the world of animation.

With its stunning visuals, heart-pumping action sequences, and a narrative that is at once both deeply personal and universally relatable, "Ultramarines" is a film that will leave you breathless and yearning for more. The movie's intricate world-building is a marvel to behold, with its richly detailed landscapes, imposing architecture, and an array of characters that are at once both complex and deeply human.

The voice cast, featuring the talents of Terence Stamp, John Hurt, and Sean Pertwee, brings the characters to life with a depth and nuance that is simply astonishing. The Ultramarines themselves are a triumph of character design, with their imposing power armor and unwavering dedication to the Imperium of Man. The film's themes of duty, honor, and sacrifice are timeless and universal, and will resonate deeply with audiences of all ages.

But what truly sets "Ultramarines" apart is its bold, unapologetic vision. This is a film that refuses to compromise, that dares to be different, and that rewards its audience with a rich, immersive experience that will stay with them long after the credits roll. It is a film that will be studied by scholars and admired by artists for generations to come, a true masterpiece that will be remembered as one of the greatest animated films of all time.

In short, "Ultramarines: A Warhammer 40,000 Movie" is a game-changer, a cinematic experience that will leave you awestruck and inspired. It is a must-see for anyone who loves animation, science fiction, or just great storytelling in general. So if you haven't seen it yet, do yourself a favor and seek it out – but be warned, once you've experienced the glory of "Ultramarines," you may never be able to look at animation the same way again.

Bravo sir.

I can truly say that no film has moved me like Ultramarines: The Motion Picture (UMTMP to the true fans) since GI Joe Retaliation. That scene where the hero overcame obstacles to achieve his objective was a masterclass in storytelling.

I got the Deluxe DVD set of that lying around. I watched it once, I was not too impressed, but it's what you get when you ask for a small-budget animated film about Space Marines (after shooting down properly filmed fan projects). Add 200 times the budget, you get 200 times of what Ultramarines was, plus 'made broadly appealing'. I was always very critical of wishing for a big-budget 40k film (or even worse: tv show).

Night of the Living Dead

A cracking, seminal, genre defining work. Except this version.

This version is the 30th Anniversary version, where some utter, utter gits have added their own scenes. And it turned out worse than say, drawing specs and a moustache on the Mona Lisa.

The monstrous arrogance to do such a thing. If you wanna add to it? Do a remake. Others have, and it turned out pretty well!

But to just….add scenes is outright cultural vandalism. Especially when they’re this bloody crap.