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Sweet Sixteen

Slasher. Not really worth the bother. Nothing especially interesting happens.

Blood Harvest

This took a wee bit of tracking down. And it’s, yes, a Slasher. But starring Tiny Tim, better known for falsetto nonsense songs. Will let you know how I got on, but there’s a promising early kill.

Yeah, it’s fine. Plot makes sense, but could’ve done without Tiny Tim. Glad I didn’t pay £50 for a copy though!

Was he slaying in the sunlight, maiming in the moonlight, having a wonderful time?

He was mostly gurning and acting really badly. Also he doesn’t know the words to Jack & Jill 🤣🤣

I mean, the whole thing is pretty much fine. But given it was a sod to track down, and some copies go for £50, I was really surprised at just how “meh” it was. Not good Meh. Not bad Meh. Just…..meh.

Kind of ironic considering how much his music is used in meme videos full of gleeful mayhem.

 BobtheInquisitor wrote:
Beau is Afraid

The film that goes balls-out.


Ostensibly this film is about anxiety-wreck Beau’s Odyssey to his mother’s home, in which everything goes wrong and everyone is messed up. But really it’s a Frankenstein of vignettes about neuroses and paranoia that becomes less and less hinged as the film goes on.

First of all, this is not a film that “makes sense” or “has a coherent story”. Like Eraserhead, Beau is Afraid is less about the plot or characters than the feelings it evokes. And like Eraserhead, it has some spectacularly disturbing scenes. If you have a dark sense of humor and can see it with some likeminded friends, you’ll have a lot of fun. If you want something more grounded than bananas, move along.

I think I loved it.

I really would like to watch that film, but I'm worried it might scare me quite a lot.



.....so I'm sticking to watching very safe, brain-mushing things. Like Mobile Suit Gundam: Cucuruz Doan's Island (2022). Interesting bit of backstory: This film is a feature-length version of the 15th episode of the original 1979 anime tv show. Back then the show-runner was in hospital, the episode was out-sourced, nobody was happy with the quality, so 40 years later, they made it again and into a 90 minute film.

I'm slightly new to all of this, so this point in time is where I'm familiar with things. Original series, U.C.0079, One Year War, the White Base gang. Earth Federation is getting ready to invade Europe and push Zeon forces back, before that they're all busy mopping up everywhere else, because Zeon organized stay-behind units to do stay-behind units stuff. One such unit is suspected to sit on a tiny island (part of the Canary islands). White Base are sent to investigate.

Beautiful looking film, great-sounding film, very true to the original series (as far as I can tell; I only watched the films which summarize the show) in pretty much all aspects. It's nothing ground-breaking, nothing very clever (because it's based on a 1970s tv show for kids), but it's got its heart in the right place, there's good, very basic anti-war stuff (which early gundam is good at). I liked the dreadm sequence in which Amuro's backstory is told extremely efficiently (including his mother showing up, which I always found to be the strongest scenes in that show). It's not moving very quickly, and it's much more about people than big robots fighting (but when they do it's cool). It's not an action film. Is it a kids' film? Quite possibly. There are several violent scenes in there, but nothing graphic if I remember correctly, more an illustration about how war is bad.

It can be watched without knowing anything about the whole Gundam thing. It helps, but it's not necessary.

It's not a great film, but it's okay enough to give it a watch. I liked it a lot, but it's almost made to please me, and I draw a LOT of joy from the name Cucuruz Doan. It's such an anime name. And the dude is such an anime good guy dude. He's like Patrick Swayze in Road House.



Oh, I also watched Fargo (1996) for the first time in full. You've seen it. It's good. If not, Watch It, it's good.

Alice, Sweet Alice

A superior murder mystery slasher, and Brooke Shields’ movie debut.

It plays out at a decent pace, keeping the killer secret for a good slice, then the reveal. But keeping everyone else in the movie unknowing, which gives it a certain extra atmosphere.

Lovely.

Citizen Kane

I can see why it is a classic as it does some amazing things with lighting, scene setting, and shot comp.

The story is nothing great, but might have a bit more relevance today than one would expect.

The shadiest parts are the exposition dumps.

 Mad Doc Grotsnik wrote:
Alice, Sweet Alice

A superior murder mystery slasher, and Brooke Shields’ movie debut.

It plays out at a decent pace, keeping the killer secret for a good slice, then the reveal. But keeping everyone else in the movie unknowing, which gives it a certain extra atmosphere.

Lovely.

Oh, that sounds pretty watchable!

It is worth a watch, maybe even a hire!

 Easy E wrote:
Citizen Kane

I can see why it is a classic as it does some amazing things with lighting, scene setting, and shot comp.

The story is nothing great, but might have a bit more relevance today than one would expect.

The shadiest parts are the exposition dumps.

We enjoyed Citizen Kane a lot more than we expected to. With all of the hype around it, I expected something pretentious and inaccessible. Instead we got a movie that found some new way to entertain every few scenes. Of course, it helped a lot that we went into the movie with all the backstory on William Randolph Hearst after visiting Hearst Castle (the real life “Xanadu”), and knowing the whole movie was essentially one big dis track.

The surprise bird screech still makes my son laugh when he remembers it.


Automatically Appended Next Post:
@Sigur

You’re probably same from being terrified by Beau is Afraid. Being anxious, tense or stressed out is more likely. Especially if the particular kinds of manipulation and abuse in the film resonate with you.

 Sigur wrote:

 Mad Doc Grotsnik wrote:
Alice, Sweet Alice

A superior murder mystery slasher, and Brooke Shields’ movie debut.

It plays out at a decent pace, keeping the killer secret for a good slice, then the reveal. But keeping everyone else in the movie unknowing, which gives it a certain extra atmosphere.

Lovely.

Oh, that sounds pretty watchable!

Be aware that while it is her debut it is not her movie and is barely in it.

So, there I was, minding my own business in the discount DVD section of Wal-Mart, sifting through a mountain of forgotten films that looked like they’d been there since the dawn of time. You know, the kind of movies that make you question if they were ever actually released or if they just spontaneously appeared one day. And then, like a beacon of light shining through the dust, I stumbled upon this little gem called Star Wars: A New Hope.

Now, I’ll be honest—I had never heard of this film before. It’s not like it’s a cultural phenomenon or anything. But the cover art was intriguing! A guy in a shiny white suit, a princess with a hairdo that could double as a satellite dish, and a giant furry creature that looked like it had just rolled out of bed. I thought, “This has to be good!”

The movie kicks off with a space battle that’s more intense than my last family reunion. I was immediately hooked! There are spaceships zooming around, laser beams flying everywhere, and a villain in a black cape who seems to have taken “dressing for success” a bit too seriously. I mean, who knew that the key to being a successful intergalactic tyrant was a dramatic wardrobe?

Then we meet Luke Skywalker, a young man who seems to have a serious case of wanderlust. He’s living on a desert planet (which, by the way, looks like the world’s largest sandcastle) and dreaming of adventure. I can relate! I once dreamed of leaving my cave, too, but then I remembered I have a Netflix subscription.

As the plot unfolds, we’re introduced to a motley crew of characters, including Princess Leia, who is basically the ultimate multitasker—she’s a leader, a diplomat, and she can rock a blaster like nobody’s business. And let’s not forget Han Solo, who is basically the charming rogue we all wish we could be. He’s got a spaceship, a sarcastic attitude, and a furry co-pilot named Chewbacca who looks like he could use a good grooming.

The special effects? Let’s just say they’re “vintage.” I mean, who doesn’t love a good model spaceship flying across a backdrop that looks like it was painted by a toddler? It adds to the charm! And the lightsaber battles? Pure gold! I found myself wondering if I could get one for my next family gathering.

Now, here’s the kicker: I couldn’t help but wonder if there are any plans for a sequel to this film. I mean, it ends on such a cliffhanger! Will Luke ever find his long-lost relatives? Will Han and Leia finally go on that date? And what about Chewbacca’s grooming situation? The world needs answers!

In conclusion, if you ever find yourself in the discount DVD section of Wal-Mart, do yourself a favor and pick up Star Wars: A New Hope. It’s a delightful ride through space that’s somehow both epic and endearingly quirky. Who knows? You might just discover your new favorite film—just like I did! And if you hear any whispers about a sequel, let me know. I’m dying to find out what happens next!

 Ahtman wrote:

 Sigur wrote:

 Mad Doc Grotsnik wrote:
Alice, Sweet Alice

A superior murder mystery slasher, and Brooke Shields’ movie debut.

It plays out at a decent pace, keeping the killer secret for a good slice, then the reveal. But keeping everyone else in the movie unknowing, which gives it a certain extra atmosphere.

Lovely.

Oh, that sounds pretty watchable!

Be aware that while it is her debut it is not her movie and is barely in it.

That's perfectly okay; my comment wasn't hinging on the Brooke shields thing (that film is earlier than I thought. I assume Shields still was the tallest on set. The most vivid memories of her work I have from Suddenly Susan, and I remember that she's a tall lady.), but the plot sounds kinda interesting for that sort of film. It is a funny bit of trivia though. It was right before the slasher craze, I assume, so it might look it up. Btw, apparently it had three titles: Communion, then the Alice one, and then another one for the cut US TV version called Holy Terror. Also, I haven't watched a horror film in a while.

It's funny though; if anybody asked me what my top 3 Brooke Shields films were I probably couldn't name a single one. Was she in Blue Lagoon? Never seen it, but I vaguely remember that she was the girl in that one. The other two I'd cite probably would be me mistaking her for Cathy Ireland. (top 3 Cathy Ireland films: Loaded Weapon 1, Alien from L.A., the David Hasselhoff Die Hard clone in which she plays his wife).

 Sigur wrote:
That's perfectly okay; my comment wasn't hinging on the Brooke shields thing

I didn't say or imply you were I was just letting you know. When the film came out she wasn't known but after she became famous the producers changed the poster/cover of VHS to prominently feature her to increase sales even though she is barely in it. It is an interesting film in that is like a bridge between giallo films and the upcoming slasher genre. The director being an excommunicated Catholic and the film being full of Catholicism is an interesting bit of backstory as well.

Really? Wow. What does one have to do to get excommunicated? I mean even in the 70s.

Yeah, it's funny what these salespeople do with VHS/DVD covers (I think in DVD times the false advertising with people who got famous later on got even more rampant).

 BobtheInquisitor wrote:

 Easy E wrote:
Citizen Kane

The surprise bird screech still makes my son laugh when he remembers it.

Yeah, I had heard it was a Hearst dis-track and I think it delivers on that front.

It was also so refreshing to see that a politician could lose an election and have their political career ruined for such a simple reason. How refreshing compared to modern times.

Also, the "real" Rosebud is even funnier than the one in the movie. <Wink>

Yeah, Rosebud was a particularly sensitive spot for Hearst.

Hobo With A Shotgun

Fourth film in the Grindhouse experiment, starring Rutger Hauer as the titular character.

And it absolutely nails the feel and silliness of the genre, without sending it up.

Definitely worth a watch. In Olden Days Money? This would be a hearty Rental Recommendstion.

After further consideration, “Rosebud” was the “and it’s probably a minorrrrrrrrrr” of classic cinema. Truly, Citizen Kane is the Citizen Kane Of Dis Tracks.

 Sigur wrote:
Really? Wow. What does one have to do to get excommunicated? I mean even in the 70s.
.

His first film was a porno, included a scene filmed without permission on the local archbishop's property, and wound up in court on charges of obscenity.

Down with that sort of thing!

Careful now!

 insaniak wrote:

 Sigur wrote:
Really? Wow. What does one have to do to get excommunicated? I mean even in the 70s.
.

His first film was a porno, included a scene filmed without permission on the local archbishop's property, and wound up in court on charges of obscenity.

Okay, I can see how that didn't go down well.

 Sigur wrote:

 insaniak wrote:

 Sigur wrote:
Really? Wow. What does one have to do to get excommunicated? I mean even in the 70s.
.

His first film was a porno, included a scene filmed without permission on the local archbishop's property, and wound up in court on charges of obscenity.

Okay, I can see how that didn't go down well.

As the actress said to the Bishop, fnyar fnyar

Psycho Goreman

“There’s a new god in town. And his name is Psycho Goreman.”



What if the ultimate space villain fell under the dominion of a budding child sociopath? Psycho Goreman!

The movie feels like a twisted take on an Amblin movie, a Saturday morning cartoon and the Power Rangers…blended into an R-rated 80’s gore fest. All of the effects are practical, and the costume design is worth the price alone. It’s not a joke a minute, and not every joke lands, but most of those that do land hard.

Worth considering:

-Yes there is a montage where the kids take PG clothes shopping so he can pass as human.

-All the space stuff feels like it’s based on heavy metal album covers and SatAm cartoons.

-Internet darling Rich Evans has a voiceover cameo.

-There’s a rap recap song over the end credits.

Ever seen a DVD for sale that you know in your heart of hearts, that you will never watch?

One of my friends has a copy of the Garbage Pail Kids movie still in the shrink wrap on his shelf.

I asked him if it was a collector's item, but he said, "nope, it's just been collecting dust for 11 years, since I bought it at a comic convention."

Is that movie so terrible, people who own it won't watch it?

Watch it.

It’s an experience. Not necessarily a good experience, but not an entirely negative one.

Mostly, it’s just really effing weird and unsettling.


Automatically Appended Next Post:
Offerings

1989. I am Michael Myers! I AM HIM!

Less than average Halloween knock-off/cash-in. And it really feels like it was made in the mid 70’s. I mean, there’s really nothing on screen to particularly date it, other than cars.

It is mostly fine, just utterly forgettable.

Beetlejuice Beetlejuice

Bit of a weird one this, it's entertaining enough, but I don't get why it was made or why they waited so long to make it, it definitely wasn't because they had come up with anything new to add to the story.

It's an okay way to fill a couple of hours, but you're not missing anything if you haven't seen it.

 aku-chan wrote:
Beetlejuice Beetlejuice

Bit of a weird one this, it's entertaining enough, but I don't get why it was made or why they waited so long to make it, it definitely wasn't because they had come up with anything new to add to the story.

It's an okay way to fill a couple of hours, but you're not missing anything if you haven't seen it.

Very much a disappointment. Not even die hard fans had anything positive to say about it. The true definition of 'Meh.'

I kept waiting for something really fun or unique to grab me like the original did.

My biggest issue is that Monica Belluci just….doesnt really serve a purpose. Like someone had been carrying two versions of the script, dropped them, and managed to recollate pages into the shooting version.

It is fairly good fun, but not a classic like its predecessor.

 Quixote wrote:
Ever seen a DVD for sale that you know in your heart of hearts, that you will never watch?

One of my friends has a copy of the Garbage Pail Kids movie still in the shrink wrap on his shelf.

I asked him if it was a collector's item, but he said, "nope, it's just been collecting dust for 11 years, since I bought it at a comic convention."

Is that movie so terrible, people who own it won't watch it?

I don’t know how I would feel about it today, but as a kid I found it too off-putting to sit through, and I had watched Howard the Duck multiple times.