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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 0018/11/28 10:54:36
Subject: Fictitious GW store website
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Decrepit Dakkanaut
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Hi,
Fulchester seems to be a fictitious town in North East England: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fulchester
It has a GW store though and a funny facebook page (liked by a.o. GW Germany and GW France):
https://www.facebook.com/GWFulchester?ref=stream
Thanks to Grimmeth over at Warseer for finding it.
Here some quotes:
Advanced notice: The store will be closed for redecoration during the last week of November. This may take a while, as in keeping with national policy, we can only use Games Workshop brushes in store.
Did you know that we also sell models for Warhammer Fantasy Battle? No, neither did we.
We would like to announce a forthcoming 25% Sale at our store. We really would. We're not having one, but it would be nice if we could announce one.
Once we've sold all the existing stock, the Forgeworld Books will no longer be available in our store. This is because the price-tag is so large it's causing the shelves to break.
Good morning hobbyists, just a reminder that Sunday is ill-conceived conversions day.
Bring your awful conversions, bits made out of spru and ill-conceived and over ambitious models in tomorrow and swear to the Lord our Emperor that we won't laugh. Not even giggle.
Promise.
We are pleased to announce that we are taking orders for the Ultimate Paint Set. It's only £280 for 1.72 litres of paint.
In line with national policy, we will be releasing all store news on Warseer, rather than our own website. After all, if it's on Warseer, it has to be true.
Please bring the right amount of cash when making your purchases, as we do no carry the smaller denominations of money. This is because we acknowledge that people fear change.
Yes, we do sell trolls. No, they don't come with an internet connection.
The Dark Angels Codex is coming out soon. The Dark Angels are part of the grim darkness, and lurk in the dark, dealing in dark things against the darkness. We will be having a themed release shortly, bring a torch.
New White Dwarf is out tommorow. In order to make the reading experience even smoother, this issue has even more stock pictures of models and even less words...
Just a reminder that Monday Night is Ladies Night.
(To be honest, I'm expecting to lock up early).
(...)
Big shout out to San and Tray who came out for Ladies Night last night. They seemed to have a lot of fun, certainly they giggled a lot.
Just a quick reminder; it's called a Space Marine, not 'little fella', and the models are always on display in the cabinet, no need to ask the staff to show them to you.
Please be aware: We no longer stock magazines for our line of Specialist Games. Also, please remember that these should never be referred to as "Specialist Magazines".
We have not, nor will we ever, sell "Khorne Flakes". However, if you look in the staff fridge, you will find Nurgle.
After a rather horrifying entry arrived in the store today, we'd like to point out that our new conversion competition is for Vampire COunt models, and can only apologise for any confusion the misprint may have caused.
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This message was edited 4 times. Last update was at 2013/01/28 11:11:17
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2013/01/28 10:57:03
Subject: Fictitious GW store website
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Avatar of the Bloody-Handed God
Inside your mind, corrupting the pathways
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Haha, fantastic
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2013/01/28 10:58:17
Subject: Fictitious GW store website
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Executing Exarch
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I suspect GW is going to swing down hard on them as soon as they catch wind. But until then spread the joy!
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Rick Priestley said it best:
Bryan always said that if the studio ever had to mix with the manufacturing and sales part of the business it would destroy the studio. And I have to say – he wasn’t wrong there! The modern studio isn’t a studio in the same way; it isn’t a collection of artists and creatives sharing ideas and driving each other on. It’s become the promotions department of a toy company – things move on!
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2013/01/28 11:02:50
Subject: Re:Fictitious GW store website
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Decrepit Dakkanaut
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Well, GW Germany and GW France liked the page
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2013/01/28 11:05:08
Subject: Fictitious GW store website
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Avatar of the Bloody-Handed God
Inside your mind, corrupting the pathways
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Be interesting to know if they did it as it was funny, or because they thought it was an official GW page
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2013/01/28 11:06:13
Subject: Fictitious GW store website
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Executing Exarch
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Im guessing they didnt even read it and think its official.
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Rick Priestley said it best:
Bryan always said that if the studio ever had to mix with the manufacturing and sales part of the business it would destroy the studio. And I have to say – he wasn’t wrong there! The modern studio isn’t a studio in the same way; it isn’t a collection of artists and creatives sharing ideas and driving each other on. It’s become the promotions department of a toy company – things move on!
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2013/02/17 02:12:07
Subject: Re:Fictitious GW store website
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Decrepit Dakkanaut
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Okay, could well be
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2013/01/28 11:22:58
Subject: Fictitious GW store website
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Bryan Ansell
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I wonder how Gw are responding to questions about the location of this store.
Someone will get fired for not including it in the pages of WD.
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2013/01/28 11:48:11
Subject: Fictitious GW store website
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Shunting Grey Knight Interceptor
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Brilliant
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If we win we win, if we die we die fighting so it don't count. If we runs for it we don't die neither, cos we can come back for annuver go, see!
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2013/01/28 12:22:09
Subject: Re:Fictitious GW store website
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Pulsating Possessed Space Marine of Slaanesh
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Once we've sold all the existing stock, the Forgeworld Books will no longer be available in our store. This is because the price-tag is so large it's causing the shelves to break.
I like this post, haha
Edit: Also this.
It's half-term in Fulchester this week. Parents are reminded that the creche is across the road, and children left unattended will be filled full of sugar, caffeine and paint and then handed back to their parents.
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This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2013/01/28 12:23:59
Gentleman_Jellyfish wrote:Cue all the people saying "This is the last straw! Now I'm only going to buy a little bit every now and then!" |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2013/01/28 12:28:04
Subject: Fictitious GW store website
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Regular Dakkanaut
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Set up by a fan of Viz I guess.....very good.
"New White Dwarf is out tommorow. In order to make the reading experience even smoother, this issue has even more stock pictures of models and even less words..."
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"Bloody typical, they've gone back to metric without telling us."
"As the days go by, we face the increasing inevitability that we are alone in a godless, uninhabited, hostile and meaningless universe. Still, you've got to laugh haven't you?"
"We demand rigidly defined areas of doubt and uncertainty!"
"Mind the oranges Marlon!" |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2013/01/28 12:41:46
Subject: Fictitious GW store website
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Lone Wolf Sentinel Pilot
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Definitely, I thought Fulchester sounded familiar but the mention of "San and Tray" confirmed it.
Games Workshop Fulchester wrote:We eagerly anticipate further books, including Drudgeries of the Space Marines, Potteries of The Space Marines and of course, Knobkerries of the Space Marines.
Games Workshop Fulchester wrote:We have a new stock of the Horus Heresy Forgeworld books and models. Patron who do not yet own these products may also delighted to learn that Honest Larry's Organ Harvesting Shop has a special on kidneys this week.
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This message was edited 2 times. Last update was at 2013/01/28 12:44:06
Driven away from WH40K by rules bloat and the expense of keeping up, now interested in smaller model count games and anything with nifty mechanics. |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2013/01/28 14:10:59
Subject: Fictitious GW store website
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Ancient Ultramarine Venerable Dreadnought
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Yeah obviously a Viz reference, I would be surprised if the guys at GW didn't find it funny as well.
Surely they can fit a reference in to Postman Plod with regards deliveries? Or the teenager with no mates whose name I forget entirely.
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We are arming Syrian rebels who support ISIS, who is fighting Iran, who is fighting Iraq who we also support against ISIS, while fighting Kurds who we support while they are fighting Syrian rebels. |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2013/01/28 15:10:34
Subject: Fictitious GW store website
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Regular Dakkanaut
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HAHA I love it!.. I imagined this in preston GW though
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2013/01/28 15:14:18
Subject: Fictitious GW store website
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Fixture of Dakka
Bathing in elitist French expats fumes
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Hmmm... what's a knobkerry?
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2014/01/09 15:42:55
Subject: Fictitious GW store website
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Regular Dakkanaut
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A wooden stick with a knob on the end - and I don't mean the person who's holding it.
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"Bloody typical, they've gone back to metric without telling us."
"As the days go by, we face the increasing inevitability that we are alone in a godless, uninhabited, hostile and meaningless universe. Still, you've got to laugh haven't you?"
"We demand rigidly defined areas of doubt and uncertainty!"
"Mind the oranges Marlon!" |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2013/01/28 16:52:25
Subject: Fictitious GW store website
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Battle-tested Knight Castellan Pilot
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It's an African wooden club readily available as souvenirs in all good Kenyan gift shops.
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2013/01/28 16:52:28
Subject: Fictitious GW store website
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Bonkers Buggy Driver with Rockets
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Apparently one of the Real Ale ****'s went in the other week for a pint of Owld Hobbits Peculiar...........
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A bit of everything really....... Titanicus, Bolt Action, Cruel Seas, Black Seas, Blood Red Skies, Kingdom Death, Relic Knights, DUST Tactics, Zombicide the lit goes on............. |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2013/01/28 16:58:53
Subject: Fictitious GW store website
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Ian Pickstock
Nottingham
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There aren't enough tits in 40k for Viz magazine.
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Naaa na na na-na-na-naaa.
Na-na-na-naaaaa.
Hey Jude. |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2013/01/28 21:34:48
Subject: Fictitious GW store website
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Blood Angel Captain Wracked with Visions
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The last one was hilarious!! More credit to GW if they took it in good spirit, and didn't like it by accident
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This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2013/01/28 21:35:07
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2013/01/28 21:45:04
Subject: Fictitious GW store website
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Ferocious Black Templar Castellan
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After a rather horrifying entry arrived in the store today, we'd like to point out that our new conversion competition is for Vampire COunt models, and can only apologise for any confusion the misprint may have caused.
Oh dear, that's a disturbing image that is now etched onto my brain. Vagina dentata, eh?
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For thirteen years I had a dog with fur the darkest black. For thirteen years he was my friend, oh how I want him back. |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2013/01/28 23:14:56
Subject: Fictitious GW store website
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Apprehensive Inquisitorial Apprentice
Censored by order of the Inquisition
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AlmightyWalrus wrote:After a rather horrifying entry arrived in the store today, we'd like to point out that our new conversion competition is for Vampire COunt models, and can only apologise for any confusion the misprint may have caused.
Oh dear, that's a disturbing image that is now etched onto my brain. Vagina dentata, eh?
Both disturbing and hilarious - that's us war gamers
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2013/01/29 00:27:51
Subject: Fictitious GW store website
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The Daemon Possessing Fulgrim's Body
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Legion of Damnation wrote: AlmightyWalrus wrote:After a rather horrifying entry arrived in the store today, we'd like to point out that our new conversion competition is for Vampire COunt models, and can only apologise for any confusion the misprint may have caused.
Oh dear, that's a disturbing image that is now etched onto my brain. Vagina dentata, eh?
Both disturbing and hilarious - that's us war gamers
But curiously unoriginal!
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0780622/
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We find comfort among those who agree with us - growth among those who don't. - Frank Howard Clark
The wise man doubts often, and changes his mind; the fool is obstinate, and doubts not; he knows all things but his own ignorance.
The correct statement of individual rights is that everyone has the right to an opinion, but crucially, that opinion can be roundly ignored and even made fun of, particularly if it is demonstrably nonsense!” Professor Brian Cox
Ask me about
Barnstaple Slayers Club |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2013/01/29 00:31:17
Subject: Fictitious GW store website
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[DCM]
Tilter at Windmills
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Outstanding.
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Adepticon 2015: Team Tourney Best Imperial Team- Team Ironguts, Adepticon 2014: Team Tourney 6th/120, Best Imperial Team- Cold Steel Mercs 2, 40k Championship Qualifier ~25/226
More 2010-2014 GT/Major RTT Record (W/L/D) -- CSM: 78-20-9 // SW: 8-1-2 (Golden Ticket with SW), BA: 29-9-4 6th Ed GT & RTT Record (W/L/D) -- CSM: 36-12-2 // BA: 11-4-1 // SW: 1-1-1
DT:70S++++G(FAQ)M++B++I+Pw40k99#+D+++A+++/sWD105R+++T(T)DM+++++
A better way to score Sportsmanship in tournaments
The 40K Rulebook & Codex FAQs. You should have these bookmarked if you play this game.
The Dakka Dakka Forum Rules You agreed to abide by these when you signed up.
Maelstrom's Edge! |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2013/01/29 01:46:29
Subject: Fictitious GW store website
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Wraith
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One of the best things I've read recently!
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2013/01/29 04:06:50
Subject: Re:Fictitious GW store website
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[MOD]
Otiose in a Niche
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Awesome site!
Can't believe no one posted this one yet.
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2013/01/29 04:21:58
Subject: Fictitious GW store website
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Liche Priest Hierophant
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I just love how on the post Kid_Kyoto just commented about, many people keep asking directions to the store.
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2013/01/29 05:09:25
Subject: Fictitious GW store website
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Rogue Inquisitor with Xenos Bodyguards
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LOL! Wonderful satire site
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"Your mumblings are awakening the sleeping Dragon, be wary when meddling the affairs of Dragons, for thou art tasty and go good with either ketchup or chocolate. "
Dragons fear nothing, if it acts up, we breath magic fire that turns them into marshmallow peeps. We leaguers only cry rivets!
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2013/01/29 12:03:28
Subject: Re:Fictitious GW store website
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Fresh-Faced New User
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Looters return stuff to Games Workshop
12-08-11
SCORES of disappointed rioters queued up this morning to return goods they had mistakenly looted from Games Workshop.
What the feth is this when it's at home?
The crestfallen thieves had raided the store hoping for a PS3 or Nintendo bounty but arrived home to find they had stolen a box containing 300 unpainted Orcs and a board game called Beyond the Ultraforest of Kwang.
Martin Bishop, 19, said: “I am returning The Runering of Fangor.
“It includes two dice, each with about 40 sides and instructions on how to gain the trust of a ‘cloud wizard’.
“And yet somehow I’m the fething bad guy.”
He added: “Nevertheless I am now immune to Dwarven magic, so it hasn’t been a complete waste of time.”
Meanwhile, historical kitsch outlet Past Times reported the return of a pair or resin bookends in the shape of the Egyptian cat-god Sekhmet and 254 teak statues of a fat, reclining Buddha.
And in Manchester, people who stole copies of Limitless starring Bradley Cooper have been setting fire to them and throwing them back through the window of HMV.
Roy Hobbs, manager of Games Workshop in Birmingham, said: “Welcome home my children. Let me bathe you in the healing milk of Fagnarbarak.
“I knew we would meet again.”
http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society/looters-return-stuff-to-games-workshop-201108124191
Well Games workshop has always had a good returns policy.
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2013/01/29 18:27:07
Subject: Re:Fictitious GW store website
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Terminator with Assault Cannon
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" Today will be our busiest weekday of the year, as people come in asking if we stock Call of Duty and we pelt them with sprues and bits of Space Marine."
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SickSix's Silver Skull WIP thread
My Youtube Channel
JSF wrote:... this is really quite an audacious move by GW, throwing out any pretext that this is a game and that its customers exist to do anything other than buy their overpriced products for the sake of it. The naked arrogance, greed and contempt for their audience is shocking. = Epic First Post.
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