Don't wear Thousand Sons armor while attempting to deliver Russ' birthday cake to the Fang.

A thing to do on 40k though is become creeds tiatn put speakers all over it and scream CCCCRREEEEDDD!!! when you apear.

Eat a cooked lobster infront of a Tyranid Carnafex.

Unless you're the chapter master. Then it just adds to the fun.

Sit on the golden throne!

Try to obtain free cable.

person person wrote:Too many posts...


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Don't use thunder hammers grots and SM bikes for a game of polo

What do you mean? That would be awesome!

TV tropes gives the following on "everything trying to kill you"

A Platform Hell game will often take this trope to ludicrous places for comedy. See also Malevolent Architecture. If the entire planet is like this, it's the dreaded Death World. If the entire universe is like this, you're fethed(link to 40K page)

+1 to living. I think the custodes must have the best life in the entire galaxy though, living for 10,000 years and being the gratest warriors and kickass polititions without being in major danger sounds good. Anything else.... Dead. =( In fact, everything=dead, mortality sucks.

Tea-bag St. Celestine
Asking Urskar Creed why he's such a fat tw*t
Tell a Grey Knight that Horus made a good point
Buy a time share on Armageddon
Be Born

Tonytiger89 wrote:Tea-bag St. Celestine

... >_<

Annoy anything of equal or greater mass.

Startle anything period on a death world.

Empty your bladder on anything remotely "holy" to any given faction.

Give an Ork chocolates and flowers for Valentines Day(?)

Caelun Niveus wrote:Give an Ork chocolates and flowers for Valentines Day(?)

If dey woz splody i dont fink dey wood min' too much!

Do not attemept to ingest the Maledictum
Do not commit suicide near a Dark Eldar
Do not wave a sammich in front of a Khorne Berzerker
Do not cough, sneeze, or show any sign of illness around an Inquisitor
Do NOT, under and circumstances, attenpt to kick a terminator in the balls. If the blood loss doesn't kill you, the terminator will.
Do not complain to a Slaanesh Sorceror that Lash is OP.

Disagree with your superior.

[irony]try to make a funny WH40K joke on a forum when you've hardly been a part of the community for an hour[/irony]

"Accidentally" wander into a secluded Ork encampment.

Buy something valuble/expensive and place it on Armeggeddon or Cadia(or anywhere for that matter)

Watch the Saw movies












With DE.

Welcome qlmaX5!

DE:
Don't offer to wash Asdrubael Vect's Dias of Destruction.
Don't watch the movie 101 Dalmations in front of Kruella the Vile.
Don't challenge a Callidus Assassin, Marbo, a Lictor and the Decapitator to a game of hide & seek.
Don't drink anything a Haemonculus offers you.
Don't volunteer to feed the Talos.
Don't attend a Mandrake's birthday party.

Tau:
Don't make fun of the Space Pope in front of other Tau.
Don't walk around with barbeque sauce near Kroot.
RAID does not work on Vespids.
Don't tell Shadowsun that O'Shovah isn't such a bad guy.

Necrons:
Don't be a non-Necron near Necrons.

Daemonhunters:
If you're a Black Templar, don't be spouting all your anti-psyker nonsense around a squad of GK Terminators.
Don't steal a GK's Nemesis Force Weapon, it won't work for you.
Don't acknowledge the existence of Daemonhosts in front of a non-radical Inquisitor.

challange o'shovah to a sword fight
challange the tau to a game of clay pigeons
challange the kroot to an eating contest

Eat a burger in front of a kroot/tyranid

Don't introduce Creed to playing 40K.
Nobody else would ever win a tourney

Ask an Ork to give you a lift!

Disscuss the possibility of a corrupt Imperium within 50 km of an Inquisitor.

Gorechild wrote:Don't introduce Creed to playing 40K.
Nobody else would ever win a tourney

Yeah

Try to act heroic by standing in front of a tank and trying to stop it.

Replace Bolter ammo with Crayons.

Ask an inquisitor for a raise.

IyandenWarhost wrote:
Replace Bolter ammo with Crayons.

How about confetti?

Don't try to dip a Carnifex in melted butter and attack it with a nutcracker.

In Tyranid space, you don't eat Carnifex; Carnifex EATS YOU!

Ha!

Challenge Creed to outflank Marbo....

Don't prevoke Eldar.
Don't name the Emperor a communist.
Don't join the Imperial Guard Infantry (You will likely die in your first battle.)
Don't call Ultramarines, Smurfs or Ultrasmurfs to or near an Ultramarine.
"Buy a time share on Armageddon" I lol'd.

kuro_khan wrote:Don't try to dip a Carnifex in melted butter and attack it with a nutcracker.

In Tyranid space, you don't eat Carnifex; Carnifex EATS YOU!

In Tyranid space, you don't harvest plants; plants harvest YOU!

You convince yourself that everything will be alright.


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Convince yourself that everything will be alright.

go to the warp and try to make friends with all the gods including gork and mork.

give crack to a orgrin.

smoke weed with a CSM

say f*** off to an eldar

have a one night stand with an eldar

piss on a tech marine

have a baby a nurgling

try to tell untra marines are full of sh** and move into nid space.

play pool with a korn demon

and take pics of the dark angles being naughty and post it on the SPACE web XD

Pretend nids are pokemon and say that you "gotta catch 'em all"

@penut: ...I lol'ed

Let a Word Bearer into your home ( jehovah witness in space)

Say yes when a Word Bearer asks " Can I have a moment of your time sir"

Speak of soap within 5 km of a plague marine.
Come into contact with plague marine/plague bearer.

Become Creed's wife (even if your a man)
Outflank Creed
Try to say Catachan infront of catachan

Be a in a vostrroyan family and be first born

Ask for a breathmint from a Plaugebearer.

Cause you'll get a turkish one.

Tounge kiss a lictor

alexwars1 wrote:Tounge kiss a lictor

Or worse, tounge kiss an SoB.

Or even worse,tongue kiss an SoB and tell her she needs a breath mint.

Or tell her she need practice.
Or tell her it reminds you of tounge kissing a lictor.

In fact, there's not a lot you can say to get you out of this situatuion...

Oh my ing god! LOL!

Emperors Faithful wrote:Or tell her she need practice.
Or tell her it reminds you of tounge kissing a lictor.

In fact, there's not a lot you can say to get you out of this situatuion...

"I'm actually Saint Celestine in disguise"

Dumb thing to say. That SoB you just tounge-kissed?
That WAS St. Celestine.

LOL


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Forget to throw a birthday party for an Inquisitor.

Throw a birthday party for an inquisitor.

'Cos then he'll ask you how you knew when it was his birthday...

QFT.I've always said to my gaming buddies that an Inquisitor is like a bad girlfriend.They are impossible to please.

Not sure about you but i wouldn't ever think that inqustiors get married cos it be the most terrrible marrge everey i mean can you imagine going to one of them "how was your day honey" and in reply they say the tonch there last wife/husband for being nosey

I can't make heads or tails of what you mean.

I think he meant: I'm not sure about you, but I wouldn't think that Inquisitors ever get married, because it would be the most terrible marriage ever. Can you imagine saying to one of them, "How was your day honey?" and in reply they said "Torched my last husband/wife for being nosy".

Oh I see.

Tau are not compensation for something.
Yelling "Zerg rush kekeke!" during a 'nid invasion is only funny the first time
You shall not ask the Psyker for lotto numbers.
The baneblade is not for personal use.
Grots are not to be used in poker games.
All dark elder artifacts are to be handled with thick rubber gloves. I need not explain why.

be open-minded

Crap on a dead looking necron.

Make a dead-looking necron into a car engine.

Graffiti a dead looking monolith.

Use a dead-looking scarab as a paper-weight

Use a dead looking Monolith as a paper weight.

LOL.
Use a dead-looking necron hand as a back scratcher.

- Charge a Monolith with only minimal infantry and light armor support
- Be captured alive by Dark Eldar
- Go to war with Dark Eldar WITHOUT an armored Chasity-belt
- Be a scout of any army(scouts, without exception, are always doomed in 40k)
- Charge a Tyranid Warrior. On a horse. With no body armor and nothing but a ceremonial dagger. And a pistol...that is holstered.

And is broken.

penut the butter wrote:LOL.
Use a dead-looking necron hand as a back scratcher.

Surprise Ass-grab!

Build a musuem that exhibit dead-looking necrons.


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Ronin-Sage wrote:
- Charge a Tyranid Warrior. On a horse. With no body armor and nothing but a ceremonial dagger. And a pistol...that is holstered.

It's been done.
Seriously.
Rough Riders FTW!

CadianXV wrote:Challenge Creed to outflank Marbo....

Let Creed outflank you WITH Sly Marbo

Challenge Marneus Calgar to an arm wrestling match.

Never play poker with Eldrad Uthran.

That guy is a jerk.

Tell a commissar that you misplaced your lasgun.

penut the butter wrote:LOL.
Use a dead-looking necron hand as a back scratcher.

Tell the Necron what you were using his hand for once he's alive again.

Go sailing for a week with EC, and DE.

Put Angron in a Math class.

Tell an opposing army that they're terrible shots...



When the army has Telion and a vindicare are in the same squad.

wear Jeans while fighting Genestealers

could end up a bad battle story

there I was, fighting Genestealers by the dozen I was lucky to make it out by the skin of my teeth

but grandpa I heard they stole your Jeans

Well Emprah dammit!!!

LOL

Cook tyranid remains.

Kroot OTOH...

Cook Tyranid???
WTF are you people on?
All you need to do is mix it, throw it in with the Salad and serve it with the main course of Ripper Suasages...mmmm...that's good eatin'.

dont forget to add some peppered ork with that ^^

Never ever point out to the traitor legions thaT even after 10,000 years, they have been completely unable to upgrade their armoury.

squiggoth tipping

Turn a dead necron into an adult toy

"Honey I got you a little something"

(Giggle) "Tee hee thats so sweet, you know we should ... SWEET EMPEROR MY EYES"

Eat a cake from creed, that cake does not have a friendly stripper in there. Its a titan and its a man.

Actually eat any kind of pastry or food substance from creed, no other baker uses baneblade as an ingredient.

Or one from khorn, to much bone meal in it.

1.Ask a Space Marine for a Sparring Match...even if you DO know Karate!

2.Visit the Emperor and Ask him his views on the Greater Good!

3.Slap a SOB on the ass

4.Walk up to a Guardsmen Recruiting office and call them F.A.G'S

5.Become one of Nurgles Minions

6.Attempt to Borrow a Tau Stealth Suit so that you may spy on the Sisters in their Quarters!...oh wait, Isn't that one of the Imperium commandments?

7.Attempt to "PET" Logan from the Space Wolves and call him a "good boy"

8.Shout out..."You Suck" when a high Ranking member of the inquisition walks by.

9.Bring War Hammer Models from Our World and Attempt to teach people how to play...While Using a non Guard or Marine army.

10.Taunt the Emperor about how he is dead and your still alive!

11.Ask a Bloody Angel Marine if they will be your best friend!

12.Wear a Tyranid costume

13.Go streaking through a Guardsmen Training Camp

14.Fight a Dark Angel

15.Hug an Ork and call it Grandma (Like you Mistaken if for your Grandmother)

16.Go anywhere Near the Dark Elder or the Necrons.

17.Join The Tau and Still plan to have Kids some day!

18.Give a Kroot a Handful of Birdseed

19.Ask someone what the emperors real name is

20.Try and Take a Squig as a Pet "Dog"

Tell a Fire Warrior that your lasgun is better than his Pulse Rifle.

Punch anyone with your bare fist...

Love

Share food with Plague Bearers.

ask that man in the black cap and black coat if he can cover for you while you make a run for it!

Try to seduce a female commisar or tell commisar to be more friendly with his soldiers behold Brighthammer 40k

Add a Creed cheat in DOW.

Shake a rolled newspaper and say, "Bad dog" to a SW.

Play hide and seek with Creed you will not find him; you will find a reaver titan.

Use Sly Marbo's knife to make a nid sandwich.

Use a dead looking Necron arm to play fetch with a SW.

Play hide and seek with a Wraith


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Play hide and seek with a wraith

Zap a farseer with one of those electric pens




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Tell Asurmen that the cape he puts on his crotch looks ridiculous

Play "Who's got the biggest helmet" with any Eldar (True Eldar/Craftworlders)

call a dark eldar 'kinky'

Be a Homer Simpson in 40k.

1. Give an Arco-Flagellant a hug.
2. Leaning your warscythe against your car when getting in.
3. Go scuba diving with an avatar.
4. Trying to get with a DE Beast Master.
5. Tell an Ork that Green ISN'T best.
6. Inquire about the wrong kind of "services" from a Sister Repentia Mistress.
7. Mistake a Gauss Pylon for the spinning ship ride at the amusement park.
8. Tea-bag a downed Necron.
9. A looted Basilisk.
10. Playing "Surfin' Bird" in your Rhino during a battle.

Ask a Deff Dread for spare bitz

1) Request Angron to attend anger-management.
2) Attempt to zerg-rush Nids.
3) Teach Orks English 101
4) Tell an SOB she's a hoe.
5) Call a Tau frail.
6) Yell badly-done Arnold Schwarzennegar quotes directed at a legion of Necrons.
7) Get a Swine-flu shot from anyone with the MoN.
8) And more important than anything, unequivically more important that any taboo, the one thing (if any) you should NEVER do in the 40k universe...DENY THE POWER OF THE RENDING PONY!!!!!!

Not sure if it's been said, but:

- Ask a Mek Boy to help troubleshoot your computer
- Attend a Kroot weekend barbecue(that's not a hamburger...)
- Be part of a specialist team whose debriefing includes phrases like "remote research facility","lost contact with X hours ago", "search and rescue"
- Have a Nurgle worshipper for a roomate
-Have a Slaanesh cultist for a roomate

Tell horror stories with the DE.

EX

go into the warp and turn off your geller fields so that you can a better look at that "thingy"

Let the commissar catch you:
playing DoW- with a non Imerial race.
trying to tame a nid/ kroot
drawing/writing on the golden throne/ emperor
watching dawn of awesome, or any similar videos.
talking about why the "greater good" is good.

play hide and seek with the deciever/ wraiths/ teleporting eldar.

play cards/ board games/ DoW with tzeench/ the deciever.

Advise the Nightbringer on a new set of clothes.

Kick the "dead" metal skeletons.

Advise the Flayed ones on a new set of clothes.

Call space wolves "star puppies" or remind them that the IG named thier most common vehicle after thier primarch.

and finally...

Try to convert some khorne followers to the greater good.

Unplug the Golden Throne.
Give a carnafax a noogie.
Hide the Ben Gay from Yarrick.
Steal an orks chopper and slugger and not give it back till he counts to 10.
Put itching powder in the terrmie suits.
Bring a dust buster to Thousand sons battle.
Smack Horus in the back of the head and ask him 'what were you thinking?!'



Oh wait this is my to do list........

Don't call the blood angels "emo" or "goth" (even though they are)
Don't feed the 'nids (they'll just follow you home)
Don't call the necrons "dem bones", "skeletor", or "Skull master"
You will laugh at the commissar's jokes.
Do not wield a power weapon or chainsword while using a power fist. You have to give the other guy some chance.
There is no such thing as space rats, and such notions are redicuGAAAAHHHHH *falls over with a glowing green dagger in rib cage*

Sing a Song From the year 20k to the emperor!

Make love to a slanesh deamonette

Ask Mad Larkin what he sees through his scope whilst looking at a Plague Bearer.

Ask anyone from the dead world of Tanith if you can use some nalwood for a toilet seat.

Ask a plague marine to share a drink with you...

Write on the Emperors throne "I am a Heretic!"

Ask an Inquisitor about how he got on with that Daemonette on saturday.....

Tell an Ork you dont like the colour green.

Take a sightseeing trip through the Eye of Terror.

The Acolyte wrote:Make love to a slanesh deamonette

In Soviet Warp, you no make love to deamonette. Deamonetter make love to YOU!

Share a room with one of the Shadowbrand's minions.

@IvanTih: I believe the post above you still applies.

Emperors Faithful wrote:@IvanTih: I believe the post above you still applies.

Ok then this.Try to strap a melta to a bolter with the superglue.

...hmmmm. That could work.

Box anyone with a power fist
Think earmuffs will make you immune to damage from Noise Marines
Use a thunder hammer to open your piggy bank.

Pick your nose while wearing an agonizer/lightning claw.
Believe that the Dark Eldar can't find you. They will find you... then the fun will begin
Try to reverse engineer Necron weaponry
Give a psychic Inquisitor a Crucible of Malediction to study

Hire Doomrider as an ambulance driver.

"Now remember Johnny, if you run into a tyranid in the woods, just play dead. He'll walk right on by."

Attempt to shut down Necrons with ctrl+F4
Inquire Slaanesh about becoming a trap-marine
Become a peace activist
dual-wield plasmaguns nekkid

For the top one, alt-f4 or 1001001010 or whatever it is works though.

Get hired to work in a Plasma gun/cannon/warhead making facility...



Then bring you Catachan Barking toad to work.

1) Ever let another Imperial hear you argue as to whether the Empire of Man is a Fascism or an organized Socialism, because both are derogatory terms.

2) Ask as to why the Lemon Russ Battle Tank is based on an old WWII tank. 38 thousand years later and that's what we get?

kaun666 wrote:1) Ever let another Imperial hear you argue as to whether the Empire of Man is a Fascism or an organized Socialism, because both are derogatory terms.

2) Ask as to why the Lemon Russ Battle Tank is based on an old WWII tank. 38 thousand years later and that's what we get?

Well technically, there's a LOT in 40k tech that doesn't add up, as far as progression(even when you take into consideration the countless periods of war and technical regression, methinks the [ground] warfare tech used by your average IG regiment could, if civilization stays its course, be achieved by the year 2400).

Head-Butt Ghazghkull Thraka and run away

Bad_Sheep37 wrote:Head-Butt Ghazghkull Thraka and run away

To be fair, if you're going to head butt Thraka, running away would be your best bet.

start a spit wad fight with a space marine

Play patty-cake with Marneus Calgar
Ask what a Word Bearer means when he says "have you heard the word brother?"
Get outta bed.
Go to Catachan to make a salad. 'Cause on Catachan, you no eat salad, salad eat you!!!!1!!!!11111!

Munch Munch! wrote:
Ask what a Word Bearer means when he says "have you heard the word brother?"

Do you or do you not know about the bird?

Luke_Prowler's avatar. Nuff said.

Give a magic tricks kit to a witch hunter.


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Give a magic tricks kit to a witch hunter

Munch Munch! wrote:Play patty-cake with Marneus Calgar
Ask what a Word Bearer means when he says "have you heard the word brother?"
Get outta bed.
Go to Catachan to make a salad. 'Cause on Catachan, you no eat salad, salad eat you!!!!1!!!!11111!

kuro_khan wrote:

Munch Munch! wrote:
Ask what a Word Bearer means when he says "have you heard the word brother?"

Do you or do you not know about the bird?

person person wrote:Luke_Prowler's avatar. Nuff said.

I loled. Again and again and again.

Pull a rabbit out of your hat in the presence of a DeamonHunter.

"Sorceror! Deamon Summoning!!!" *BLAM*

-try to market cleaning supplies to the Death Guard
-announce that you will run for emperor in the next election
-ask for some SM geneseed for your next science project

Not carry a gun.

Put peer-pressure on an Inquisitor.

Play spin the bottle with a Tyranid.

Drink-and-Drive with a Space Marine.

Get high with a Noise Marine.

And last, but not least.

Don't feth with Psykers.

Tell a commissar to relax.

Try to negotiate with a bloodthirsty tyranid

Call the Emperor an old one
Offer to be the drinks server a Slaneesh/DE coctail party
Replace the commissars bolter with a toy version

DerangdFlamingo wrote:Call the Emperor an old one

But he IS one!!

DerangdFlamingo wrote:Offer to be the drinks server a Slaneesh/DE coctail party

Imagine all the tip money you'd get, if you survived it!

DerangdFlamingo wrote:Replace the commissars bolter with a toy version

The commissar would still kill you with the toy.

Take in the weird six-legged lizard like dog that was left on your front porch...
Heres a few christmas ones for ya: open a present given to you from Creed.
Tell a slaanesh worshipper that you're dreamig of a white christmas.

Hmmm.. X-mas things not to do in 40K hey? sounds like fun

Don't open any present from the dark eldar... seriously..... just.... no.

Superscope wrote:Hmmm.. X-mas things not to do in 40K hey? sounds like fun

Informing your local Inquisitor that you seasonally worship the warp god known as Santa Claus.

Actuality, how would Santa be represented in 40k?

karne the betrayer maybe?

Grandfather nurgle. Seriously, he loves every one, he's fat, he seems jolly and he's green(one of the christmas colours.).

Say that you will provide finger food for the tyranid christmas party.

ginger_nid_dude wrote:Say that you will provide finger food for the tyranid christmas party.

using real fingers lol

Make a pervert game in which your partner acts a SOB which has been seduced by Slannesh.

ohhhh yeahhhhhh

Bow chicka chicka wow wow chicka wow wow.

-Black mail Dark Angels
-Remind the Space Wolves that Lion knocked out Russ with one punch.

Call a dreadnought an old geezer
make a voice impression of a CSM in front of an inquisitor
Ask the Tau, "What's so good about it?"
Tell an inquisitor that Horus wasn't that bad
Tell Cassius that the Tyranids aren't that bad
Attempt to outflank Creed
Use a plasma gun to power up your big screen TV
Use a plasma cannon to power up your big screen TV
Tell a commissar he looks fat
Tell a commissar you aren't afraid of him or is stupind fething hat
Play DOW with Tzeentch or Creed
Cater at a tyranid party
Free the slaves from the Dark Eldar
Put the world's loudest alarm clock in a Necron tomb.
Wrap a carnifex in a box and give it to the emperor for a birthday present.(RUSH DELIVERY)

-Remind Ghaz about the armagedon failure
-Ask why Abbandon needed 13 crusades
-Ask a DE for directions
-Hid a phyker's favorite hat
-Replace all the phycannon bolts in a Deamon hunter's HB with cheery puding.

lol


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Luke_Prowler wrote:A Tau Shield Drone is not a skate board.

It isn't a bumper car either, but that didn't stop me.

@Cptn. Waaagh!

it can actually be used as a sled

Munch Munch! wrote:Tell a slaanesh worshipper that you're dreamig of a white christmas.

That made my day.

OT: Ask Tzeentch what your going to get for Christmas.

Use a magical reindeer sleigh when the Land Speeder's MIA.

shas'o vera wrote:@Cptn. Waaagh!

it can actually be used as a sled

Thrisby all the way (yes.. i know i can't spell)

Are you for real?


Haven't you heard of Drone in a Cup? Every Eastern Fringe-ite Orks' favourite toy since late M41.

Hitch a ride with some dark eldar
Ask Kharne if he's santa
Tell the Dark Angels you know their secret
Have a race with your mate on some Greater Gnarlocs
Tell the Tau that YOU ARE THE GREATER GOOD
Tell an Eldar Farseer to chuck a psyche
Put hidden camera's in the soritas change rooms...

Try to enter Iron Warrior territory to sing x-mas carols.(have fun trying to get to the door!)

=I= White-Wolf wrote:
Put hidden camera's in the soritas change rooms...

They're hidden so it's all good.

Ask Kharn to cut some firewood for you
Look on the bright side of life
Watch Deciever TV
Do something other than find a corner to go cry in
Hope to survive
Hug Typhus

Decorate a christmas tree with orks. (I know this sentence can mean 2 different things. )

But you shouldn't do either am I right?

person person wrote:Decorate a christmas tree with orks. (I know this sentence can mean 2 different things. )

I'm scared.


Automatically Appended Next Post:

CountCross wrote:

=I= White-Wolf wrote:
Put hidden camera's in the soritas change rooms...

They're hidden so it's all good.

Oh, they will find them, and when they do.........

person person wrote:Decorate a christmas tree with orks. (I know this sentence can mean 2 different things. )

I dont get it. can someone PM me and explain.

Alright.

try to go terminator tipping

tell a son of Russ to fetch

tell a dreadnought hes got half a mind (he probably does)

Call a Farseer a High Templar
Ask him where all the Zealots, Dragoons and Reavers are.

Accuse a Hive Tyrant of copying the Zerg. (As you're getting slowly eaten by a hormagaunt (that you think is a zergling), the HT will tell you that WH40k was before the Zerg)

Give a Space Marine stim packs.

Ask the Eldar if they used an epidural when giving birth to Slaanesh.

Tape a paper mask of Arnold to every Necron face in a nearby tomb.

Tell an Ork that your mind can shoot bullets just to see him actually pull it off copying you.

Throw a sword at a bunch of Tau then explain to them that you just sweeping advanced them.

Gather all the snotlings of an Ork tribe and say there is cake hidden in the warboss's pant leg.

Douse yourself in raid and leap into a Tyranid digestion pool.

Kurgash wrote:Ask the Eldar if they used an epidural when giving birth to Slaanesh.

tell an inqiuisiter that the shop was 'chaos'

Tell a mek his favourite spanner is in your new sportscar (Watch him dismantle it).

Open your Christmas presents that are from the Orks, DE, Chaos, Nids, Necrons, or the Inquisition.

All the above.

Declare the Emporer a heratic, and then start a new religion worshipping Spongebob as God.

Manchu wrote:This again? Well, I'm not going to take this . . . and not also get a biscuit.

Furthermore, anyone else noticed how slow Dakka is the last coupla days?

Hide the cookie jar from Manchu.

Go into battle wearing a bright red and white coat, pants and santa hat. Unless you have an oh so jolly belly (of explosives).

Munch Munch! wrote:But you shouldn't do either am I right?

HELLZ YEAH!!!

A great big interwebz cookie for you, just remember...

LLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!1!!1!
Please send my cookie to edmonton, alberta!

unless there's a guardsman trying to act ninja

Don't mention that all a comissar ever hits is his own team mates to his face

i thought it was a las pistol to the head

it is. The commisar gets angry, he gets his gun he shoots and he hits. But when a gigantic nid is coming he does the same thing to the only person who can save him cos he blinked when a crisis battlesuit lands next to himand dies

OT: Get into an arguement with a berzerker

Have a drink with a DE/EC/DG.

start singing eye of the tiger when you see someone with two power fists

Morgrim wrote:

Kurgash wrote:Ask the Eldar if they used an epidural when giving birth to Slaanesh.

Screw that. I would walk up to them and ask out loud, just to see the look on their faces. I'd have to get 6s on my run roll, but I would be able to outrun them before it finally sinks in.

Do not give the Tyranids booze. They're mean drunks.
Do not use a Power Klaw to open cans. Unless you're Yarrick.
Deffdreads are not dumpsters
Killa Kans are not trashcans
There's no such thing as female space marines, stop asking.
Do not insult an Eldar's hairstyle, they're very sensitive to that.
Do not drink Bug Juice when fighting Tyranids (unless you're trying to impress your friends)
Do not try to reenact your favorite battles from the Gundam series with Battle suits (not while the Tau are looking, anyway)
You WILL make those little pigs in a blankets for parties
Baneblade proof your house. Trust me on this.
If a squat catches on fire, keep him as far as possible from the booze stockpile.
If you spot an emperor's children on fire, don't put them out. They probably did it deliberately.
If you spot an eldar on fire, pull up a lawn chair and watch.

LOL!
Flick off a piece of dirt on your arm with your power fisted arm.

Never hug a hormgaunt.

calgar: hey guys guess how i broke my arm
random marine: how?
calgar: i got dirt on my armor
random guy: POWER FLICK!!!

Say, as an Imperial, that maybe Chaos wouldn't be such a bad thing in front of an Inquisitor.
Say that maybe Chaos wouldn't be such a bad thing. Ever.
Tell a Hive Tyrant to spawn more Overlords.
Hope for something better. Ever.
Tell the World Eaters that they need to chill.
Wipe with your Powerfist hand.
Do anything other than punch things with your Powerfist hand.
Join the Imperial Guard.
Attempt to assassinate a Librarian.
Expect any sort of good treatment. From anybody.
Go to the local Slaanesh party and expect to leave alive and not horribly deformed.
Ask a Noise Marine what music he is into.
Use air fesheners while in the presence of a Plague Marine.
Use a vaccum cleaner around one of the Thousand Sons.
Tell a Plague Marine that Nurgle is fat.
Tell a Thousand Son that they should try taking of their armor.
Tell a Noise Marine that Slaanesh is a pervert. (They wouldn't kill you for saying that, but they would do something best not mentioned. Then they would kill you.)
Tell anyone that they need a new codex.

Do not do the following
Ask the Emperor "Can i use the Throne i need it."
Ask Nurgle where the bath Room is. "uhh me duh"
Ask Slannesh where the Closest Police station is.
Ask Khorne for a Milk Shake. "uhh is that a head?"
Ask Tzeench to go to America to Visit Obama. wait too late : D
Ask Tzeench why is he not changing.
Ask a Inqusitor why.
Ask an Imperial Officer whos first.
Ask an High lord where the nearest Custode and Sister of Silence is.
Ask the Emperor why didn't the Imperial Webway not work.
Ask the Emperor if you could send a warhead into the webway to finish the enemy off. (WHY DID THEY NOT DO THAT!)
Ask Rogal Dorn why are you hiding in a box.
Become a Imperail Guardsmen
Become a Space Marine
Become a Search and rescue Officer with only 5 men. (needs more)
Have a hot girlfriend in front of a space marine/inqustior/commissar/imperial guard veteran/titan pilot/the emperor/Creed or any mixture or else she will leave you for them. "Sorry but you can't fight."
Scream CREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


DO the following in 40k
Start Laughing when you see a Harliquen.
Wear lots of layers of clothing and power armor and say that you are bunkering up for a Stand off.
Start playing heavy metal in front of noise marines.
Dress up like the Master Cheif.
Start yelling at a inqustior who has just walked in "RUN FOR YOUR LIVES HERETIC IN THE HOUSE!"
write on every space check for smuggling daemonttes and sisters of battle.
Run at a terminator with a can opener.
Run at a Dreadnought with a can opener.
Run at a titan with glue and pour it into its joints.
Ask an inqusitor if you could borrow his cloak.
Ask an inqusitor to perform an exterimantus at your family reunion.
Ask a Daemonette for pictures or her phone number.
This also applies to SOB.
Wear dual power fists with lascannons on the bottom and ask Marenus calgar for a arm wrestle.
or go into a reaver titan and do the same thing.
Ask Whos got the beer at The Fang.
Ask a Space Wolf where are the puppies.
Ask a Dark Angel where he keeps his friends.
Ask a Blood Angel to escort you to the nearest blood bank.
Ask a Imperial Fist why they wear yellow.
Ask an Impaient marine if he would go sky diving with you.
Ask an Impaient Marine that the Imperial fists copied them and that they called his chapter Gay Marines.
Ask a Inqusitor who the Rainbow Warriors are and if you could join.
Ask a Inqusitor why so serious.
Ask Corax for his Secert Stash under his bed.
Ask Khan if he is from Star Trek.
Perform Spock like movements in front of an eldar army.
Run at a Tyranid with a power Fly swatter.
Run at a tyranid with bug spray.
Fly a giant Fly swatter agianst a Tyranid Hive fleet. "fire BUG SPRAY!"
and finnaly
Ask a Plague Marine did he get his shots.

CountCross wrote:

=I= White-Wolf wrote:
... quote has been terminated by order of the Inquisition

Poster has been Eliminated by order of the Inquisition

*is rewarded by NOT being hit with an exterminatous, and given a free heavy flamer for reporting those two to both the Inquisitors AND the Soritas's*

Scratch your back with a nemesis force weapon

Asherian Command wrote:
Ask Tzeench to go to America to Visit Obama. wait too late : D

Don't you get it? Obama IS Tzeench.

Cambak wrote:

Asherian Command wrote:
Ask Tzeench to go to America to Visit Obama. wait too late : D

Don't you get it? Obama IS Tzeench.

No if Tzeentch were president the US would be better off.

No. It would be to friggin' complicated. It would be like:
Tzeentch: I declare war on North Korea! General, launch the nukes.
General:Yes sir.
*5 seconds later*
General:Sir North Korea has been bombed.
Tzeentch:Ooh yeah I changed my mind. Can you negotiate?
General:Yes sir.
*1 hour later*
General: We have successfully stopped a nuclear holocaust.
Tzeentch: Oh uh can you declare war on 'em again?
General:WTF!?Screw this.
*shoots himself in the head.
Tzeentch then teleports Eldrad into the whitehouse and makes him the VP.
They go out and screw over the world in a huge dick storm*
Tzeetch:Just as planned.

Munch Munch! wrote:No. It would be to friggin' complicated. It would be like:
Tzeentch: I declare war on North Korea! General, launch the nukes.
General:Yes sir.
*5 seconds later*
General:Sir North Korea has been bombed.
Tzeentch:Ooh yeah I changed my mind. Can you negotiate?
General:Yes sir.
*1 hour later*
General: We have successfully stopped a nuclear holocaust.
Tzeentch: Oh uh can you declare war on 'em again?
General:WTF!?Screw this.
*shoots himself in the head.
Tzeentch then teleports Eldrad into the whitehouse and makes him the VP.
They go out and screw over the world in a huge dick storm*
Tzeetch:Just as planned.

+1, sounds sort of like what Obama wants.

Munch Munch! wrote:No. It would be to friggin' complicated. It would be like:
Tzeentch: I declare war on North Korea! General, launch the nukes.
General:Yes sir.
*5 seconds later*
General:Sir North Korea has been bombed.
Tzeentch:Ooh yeah I changed my mind. Can you negotiate?
General:Yes sir.
*1 hour later*
General: We have successfully stopped a nuclear holocaust.
Tzeentch: Oh uh can you declare war on 'em again?
General:WTF!?Screw this.
*shoots himself in the head.
Tzeentch then teleports Eldrad into the whitehouse and makes him the VP.
They go out and screw over the world in a huge dick storm*
Tzeetch:Just as planned.

That's not better how?

'Cause everything is screwed up, everything is so god-damned complicated, and Eldrad is VP.That's probably even more grimdark than 40k!

How about leaving a home pregency test kit in the SOB barracks... and being the only Unick( sp) around....lol

XD. nice

Show this to an inquisitor

lol, that is awesome

Cambak wrote:

CountCross wrote:

=I= White-Wolf wrote:
... quote has been terminated by order of the Inquisition

Poster has been Eliminated by order of the Inquisition

*is rewarded by NOT being hit with an exterminatous, and given a free heavy flamer for reporting those two to both the Inquisitors AND the Soritas's*

Good thingI made a deal with Lucius the Eternal.

The only way too kill lucius is by bombarding him from orbit. : D done.

Another thing to not do in 40k: hesitate before killing an enemy. Seriously, how many times have you read:

[Person] brought his pistol to bear, but hesitated a second before firing

A second was all [enemy] needed.

Yet another thing not to do is be an attending soldier to this briefing:

"Gentlemen, approxmiately 2400 hours ago, we lost astrotelepathic contact with a remote research facility, designation UR-4UCD"

*clicks pointer to move to next holo-slide*

"As of 0200, we have lost contact altogether. You are to investigate the situation and secure any personnel or vital research materials within. This is a search and rescue. Dismissed."

^this is basically code for "this remote facility engaged in some obviously dangerous experiments just found itself on the wrong end of the scientific method. Expect no survivors, in fact, expect survivors to be horribly mutated and violent. And fast. Also, expect to lose communication capacities upon arriving, and note that the predicted casualty rate is 99%. Kbai"

Asherian Command wrote:The only way too kill lucius is by bombarding him from orbit. : D done.

But then wouldn't he just take the soul of one of the crew?

yeah but they just send the ship into a sun. : D

then make the sun go supernova

PIssing off a french space marine with a powerfist

drinking the cult punch

laughing at a inquisitors wig

inviting a noise marine and 3 dark eldar to your wedding

Never flick buggers at an Inquisitor.
Never call a Space Wolf a "damned hippy" and demand that he get a haircut.
Never remind Space Marines that they are mutants and should be purged in accordance with Imperial law ( Space Wolves, Blood Angels, Salamanders, ECT,...).
Never expect a Chia-Orc to be a good house plant.
Don't bend over in front of a Slaanesh Cultist and expect to walk away without feeling violated... in more ways than one.
Never mistake the Emperor's golden throne for Donald Trumps toilet.
Never ask where "gene-seed" comes from... you might get a Slaanesh-like answer.
Never steal the "Fist of Dorn" and exchange it for Michale Jackson's white glove, as a practical joke. Ultramarines DO NOT have a since of humor.
Never call Ibram Gaunt a skinny little pansy who wouldn't last five minutes against a snotling, much less against you.
Never call the Ordo Xenos about illegal immigration matters, it is outside their jurisdiction and way more trouble than they can handle.
Never be heard saying "Chaos isn't so bad... once you get to know it".

Two-Step wrote:
Never expect a Chia-Orc to be a good house plant.

That is epic I would love one!

Say I love Heresy in front of the Angry Marines

idget wrote:Stand in front of the Angry Marines

Fixed your typo.

Saying you love heresy in front of any loyalist chapter tends to be painful.

As does saying it in front of most Inquisitors. *eyes up and smirks* Possibly not all.

Ask Yarric to scratch your back,
keep a squig as a house pet,
feed the... Anything (your screwed anyway)

Use a lasgun barrages in your everyday life like in cooking,cleaning,making a fire,bathing etc....

Emperors Faithful wrote:

idget wrote:Stand in 50 mile radius of the Angry Marines

Fixed your typo.

I fixed yours.

Munch Munch! wrote:

Emperors Faithful wrote:

idget wrote:Stand in 50 light year radius of the Angry Marines

Fixed your typo.

I fixed yours.

I fix'd it too!

Gwar! wrote:

Munch Munch! wrote:

Emperors Faithful wrote:

idget wrote:Exist in the same dimension of the Angry Marines

Fixed your typo.

I fixed yours.

I fix'd it too!

How much more fixed can we get this thing?

CountCross wrote:

Gwar! wrote:

Munch Munch! wrote:

Emperors Faithful wrote:

idget wrote:Be in a different dimension (aka The Warp) of the Angry Marines

Fixed your typo.

I fixed yours.

I fix'd it too!

How much more fixed can we get this thing?

Now with 100% moar fix'dness

Gwar! wrote:

CountCross wrote:

Gwar! wrote:

Munch Munch! wrote:

Emperors Faithful wrote:

idget wrote:Be

Fixed your typo.

I fixed yours.

I fix'd it too!

How much more fixed can we get this thing?

Now with 100% moar fix'dness

Now with 96% less fixedness. I counted.

Gwar! wrote:

CountCross wrote:

Gwar! wrote:

Munch Munch! wrote:

Emperors Faithful wrote:

idget wrote:Exist

Fixed your typo.

I fixed yours.

I fix'd it too!

How much more fixed can we get this thing?

Now with 100% moar fix'dness

Done

Gwar! wrote:

CountCross wrote:

Gwar! wrote:

Munch Munch! wrote:

Emperors Faithful wrote:

idget wrote:Be in the same universe of the Angry Marines

Fixed your typo.

I fixed yours.

I fix'd it too!

How much more fixed can we get this thing?

Now with 100% moar fix'dness

Well I think it's safe to say we fixe the hell out of it!

Try to draw a moustache on the emporers face with a permanent marker

Use a tazer on a Plague Marine, they feel no pain!

Gwar! wrote:

CountCross wrote:

Gwar! wrote:

Munch Munch! wrote:

Emperors Faithful wrote:

idget wrote:do anything that slightly involves the Angry Marines in any way shape or form

Fixed your typo.

I fixed yours.

I fix'd it too!

How much more fixed can we get this thing?

Now with 100% moar fix'dness

i challenge anyone to fix this more than me mwaahahahahahahahhaahah

Try not to be a loyal,worked to bone imperial citizen.

IvanTih wrote:Try not to be a loyal,worked to bone imperial citizen.

Then what does that make the nobles?

Unplug the orbital defense laser so you can use a hairdryer

Luke_Prowler wrote:

IvanTih wrote:Try not to be a loyal,worked to bone imperial citizen.

Then what does that make the nobles?

Nobles are often arrogant,corrupted,sometimes hedonistic and on Scintilla in Calixis Sector some degenerate hedonists hunt middle and under hivers for sport.

IvanTih wrote:

Luke_Prowler wrote:

IvanTih wrote:Try not to be a loyal,worked to bone imperial citizen.

Then what does that make the nobles?

Nobles are often arrogant,corrupted,sometimes hedonistic and on Scintilla in Calixis Sector some degenerate hedonists hunt middle and under hivers for sport.

Wow, they make Warbosses sound good by comparison.

Luke_Prowler wrote:

IvanTih wrote:

Luke_Prowler wrote:

IvanTih wrote:Try not to be a loyal,worked to bone imperial citizen.

Then what does that make the nobles?

Nobles are often arrogant,corrupted,sometimes hedonistic and on Scintilla in Calixis Sector some degenerate hedonists hunt middle and under hivers for sport.

Wow, they make Warbosses sound good by comparison.

Not all nobles are acting like that.

IvanTih wrote:

Luke_Prowler wrote:

IvanTih wrote:

Luke_Prowler wrote:

IvanTih wrote:Try not to be a loyal,worked to bone imperial citizen.

Then what does that make the nobles?

Nobles are often arrogant,corrupted,sometimes hedonistic and on Scintilla in Calixis Sector some degenerate hedonists hunt middle and under hivers for sport.

Wow, they make Warbosses sound good by comparison.

Not all nobles are acting like that.

but most do, unlike the tau

Leigen_Zero wrote:Unplug the orbital defense laser so you can use a hairdryer

Unplug the Golden throne to use a hair dryer.

Not that it runs on a plug... ha ha...

Hey, grobwotz did you 'ear dat?
'ear wot?
Da golden frone wuns on a plug! Wez can uplugz it!
Wot wud dat do?
It wud kill da 'oomies God!
Is dat a gud fing?
Yeah, cuz den da 'oomies wil be well upset an' we can run in an' clobber da lot!
U iz more kunnin' dan a grot, Gubbo!

Waaaagghh!!!

shas'o vera wrote:

IvanTih wrote:

Luke_Prowler wrote:

IvanTih wrote:

Luke_Prowler wrote:

IvanTih wrote:Try not to be a loyal,worked to bone imperial citizen.

Then what does that make the nobles?

Nobles are often arrogant,corrupted,sometimes hedonistic and on Scintilla in Calixis Sector some degenerate hedonists hunt middle and under hivers for sport.

Wow, they make Warbosses sound good by comparison.

Not all nobles are acting like that.

but most do, unlike the tau

You keep thinking that

shas'o vera wrote:

Gwar! wrote:

CountCross wrote:

Gwar! wrote:

Munch Munch! wrote:

Emperors Faithful wrote:

idget wrote:Do EVERYTHING that would enrage the Angry marines all at once after the Angry Marines have come home from a very stress full day.

Fixed your typo.

I fixed yours.

I fix'd it too!

How much more fixed can we get this thing?

Now with 100% moar fix'dness

i challenge anyone to fix this more than me mwaahahahahahahahhaahah

Fixed

Munch Munch! wrote:

shas'o vera wrote:

Gwar! wrote:

CountCross wrote:

Gwar! wrote:

Munch Munch! wrote:

Emperors Faithful wrote:

idget wrote:Exist near the Angry marines at any time, or any where.

Fixed your typo.

I fixed yours.

I fix'd it too!

How much more fixed can we get this thing?

Now with 100% moar fix'dness

i challenge anyone to fix this more than me mwaahahahahahahahhaahah

Fixed

Fixed it for you

Lord of battles wrote:

Munch Munch! wrote:

shas'o vera wrote:

Gwar! wrote:

CountCross wrote:

Gwar! wrote:

Munch Munch! wrote:

Emperors Faithful wrote:

idget wrote:Create the Angry Marines on 4chan.

Fixed your typo.

I fixed yours.

I fix'd it too!

How much more fixed can we get this thing?

Now with 100% moar fix'dness

i challenge anyone to fix this more than me mwaahahahahahahahhaahah

Fixed

Fixed it for you

Fix'd

C-C-Combo breaker!

Luke_Prowler wrote:C-C-Combo breaker!

Trying to combo break the Angry Marines

Caelun Niveus wrote:

Luke_Prowler wrote:C-C-Combo breaker!

Try to attack an Angry Marine

fixd. For realz.

shas'o vera wrote:

IvanTih wrote:

Luke_Prowler wrote:

IvanTih wrote:

Luke_Prowler wrote:

IvanTih wrote:Try not to be a loyal,worked to bone imperial citizen.

Then what does that make the nobles?

Nobles are often arrogant,corrupted,sometimes hedonistic and on Scintilla in Calixis Sector some degenerate hedonists hunt middle and under hivers for sport.

Wow, they make Warbosses sound good by comparison.

Not all nobles are acting like that.

but most do, unlike the tau

Yeah, we always act like that... is that bad?

ZacktheChaosChild wrote:

Lord of battles wrote:

Munch Munch! wrote:

shas'o vera wrote:

Gwar! wrote:

CountCross wrote:

Gwar! wrote:

Munch Munch! wrote:

Emperors Faithful wrote:

idget wrote:Create the Angry Marines on 4chan.

Fixed your typo.

I fixed yours.

I fix'd it too!

How much more fixed can we get this thing?

Now with 100% moar fix'dness

i challenge anyone to fix this more than me mwaahahahahahahahhaahah

Fixed

Fixed it for you

Fix'd

So many quote boxes...

SEIZURE!!!


Automatically Appended Next Post:
You also shouldn't fix things in the 40k universe.

Never steal the "Fist of Dorn" and exchange it for Michale Jackson's white glove, as a practical joke. Ultramarines DO NOT have a since of humor.

no one else sees a problem with this aparently a hammer is actualy a power fist and the imperial fists are actualt...ahhhhh.

"Sorry the rest of this post has been censored by the inquisiton for the poster knew to much please move along with your day."


Also never huge a chaos landraider OWW spiky
never tell a inquisitor / commisar make me.
say to a chaos teminator "YOU SOOO HORNY."

Use "corny" as a way of describing something.

person person wrote:

ZacktheChaosChild wrote:

Lord of battles wrote:

Munch Munch! wrote:

shas'o vera wrote:

Gwar! wrote:

CountCross wrote:

Gwar! wrote:

Munch Munch! wrote:

Emperors Faithful wrote:

idget wrote:Create the Angry Marines as a manga.

Fixed your typo.

I fixed yours.

I fix'd it too!

How much more fixed can we get this thing?

Now with 100% moar fix'dness

i challenge anyone to fix this more than me mwaahahahahahahahhaahah

Fixed

Fixed it for you

Fix'd

You also shouldn't fix things in the 40k universe.

because nothing ever works


Automatically Appended Next Post:

1337m45747r0y wrote:

shas'o vera wrote:

IvanTih wrote:

Luke_Prowler wrote:

IvanTih wrote:

Luke_Prowler wrote:

IvanTih wrote:Try not to be a loyal,worked to bone imperial citizen.

Then what does that make the nobles?

Nobles are often arrogant,corrupted,sometimes hedonistic and on Scintilla in Calixis Sector some degenerate hedonists hunt middle and under hivers for sport.

Wow, they make Warbosses sound good by comparison.

Not all nobles are acting like that.

but most do, unlike the tau

Yeah, we always act like that... is that bad?

nope, its not bad, unless you want to continue to be a backwards civilisation

shas'o vera wrote:

person person wrote:

ZacktheChaosChild wrote:

Lord of battles wrote:

Munch Munch! wrote:

shas'o vera wrote:

Gwar! wrote:

CountCross wrote:

Gwar! wrote:

Munch Munch! wrote:

Emperors Faithful wrote:

idget wrote:Think about the Angry Marines. It's kinda like the Game, exept if you feth up Fuklaw karatechops your throat.

Fixed your typo.

I fixed yours.

I fix'd it too!

How much more fixed can we get this thing?

Now with 100% moar fix'dness

i challenge anyone to fix this more than me mwaahahahahahahahhaahah

Fixed

Fixed it for you

Fix'd

You also shouldn't fix things in the 40k universe.

Thar we go!