As an imperial citizen suggest that the imperium reform its hardline polices towards other cultures and be opened minded about the validity of xeno philosophy.
Doodle in magic marker a mexican culey cue 'stash on the Emperor.
Start any converesation with an SoB with ' I'm going to simplify things by talking to your breasts directly. It'll be better that way. '
Then telling the aforementioned SoB that you'd like a ham sammich.
And, if by some act of intervention by the Emperor you are still alive, a playful squeeze with 'ahoogah!' Sounds is strictly advised against.
Share a cup with anyone bearing the mark of Nurgle.
Give a kitten to anyone bearing the mark of Khorne.
Ingest anything given to you buy a follower of Slaanesh.
Refer to the God Emperor of mankind as 'that jerk on the magic toilet' around the Black Templars.
Or that feisty SoB. But asking her 'who's your Emperor' while getting freaky with her is acceptable.
Giving an Etherial a copy of the Communist Manifesto, probably on this list.
So is riding on a DE Ravager. Those things are death traps.
In certain company, misuse of the terms 'Ork' and 'grot' can be disasterous.
halonachos wrote:Telling a SOB to go back to the kitchen.
If I was married to a Sister of Battle, the Kitchen wouldn't be the place I'd tell her to go
(insert number here) Bring a demonette home to meet the family, tell them this is your new spouse, and especially if your uncle happens to be a commisioner
EDIT: I apologise for only having filth on my mind
Walk into to a room full of grey knights and starting "Give those astartes with the horns a break ok, they done nothing wrong, not like they killed the emporer or something!"
Visit Commorragh on a holiday trip.
Ask the Chaos Gods for a favour.
Stay near a Slaneshi Marine when he says he 'needs the toilet'.
Use a lasgun when you could have a bolter.
Have a drinking contest with a Space Wolf.
Moon a Keeper of Secrets.
Use fireworks in the vicinity of a veteran IG regiment.
Play poker with a psyker.
Ask a Sister Repentia if you can borrow her Eviscerator to go logging...and then mention that the paper look realy suites her...
1) See an Ultramarine and yell "Look out for Gargamel!"
2) Nuke the Site from Orbit, even if it is the only way to be sure. (Unless thou art an Inquisitor)
3) Ask Games Workshop to fix broken or nonsensical rules. Game Imbalance and Poor Design are Grim/Dark.
4) Ask why the exact same hull made of the exact same materials driven by the exact same crew has vastly differing armor values depending on what turret sits on top.
5) Modify thy GW models so that they do not look like the suck and then take them to a Tourney. The Envious will throw a hissy fit that guardsman 405 has a left buttcheek is not GW/FW.
Ummmmm, okay?
How about never, EVER drawing stuff like that.
I don't know whether you'd get burnt for heresy or shot for incompetence and cowardice. But you'd definitely end up dead.
1. Insert the =I= DELETED BY INQUISITION =I= into your =I= DELETED BY INQUISITION =I= and swallow a whole =I= DELETED BY INQUISITION =I= 2. pour boiling milk onto gazelle's =I= DELETED BY INQUISITION =I= before using said milky gazelle to make a warming cup of =I= DELETED BY INQUISITION =I= flavour hot cocoa. 3. ???? 4. BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!
-Ask a chaos sorceror if he does parties
-Use an army of fat Italian plumbers fight an army of Orks- SHROOMS!
-Drive up a mountain and into a warlord titan unless your name is Wazdakka
-Drive an orky vehicle
-Push the big red button on the titan
Go into the maelstrom or the eye of terror while still supporting the emperor .
Travel through the warp with no protection
Asking a commissar if he wants to turn to chaos
Playing on a battlefield
Buy a house on a Tyranid invasion route
Donate a carnifex to your local zoo.
Have a wrestling match with Khorne.
Make Slaanesh your babysitter.
Give Nurgle a bath.
Tell an inquistor that your GF is a howling banshee.
Ask a daemonette for a lap dance.
Walk into a Space Wolves drinking hall and yell "bottoms up ya bunch of wimps!!!"
Give Nurgle a gift basket of bath soaps.
Sorry person person.We wouldn;t actually do this. I have a great deal of respect for my fellow pups. But this thread is what not to do in the 40k universe. No one would atually do this lest they get thier head ripped off.Sorry if you got pissed off.
Attempt to take down a Blood Angels company armed with a sharpened stick bottle of water and cries of
"take this foul beasts of darkness i am the mighty vampire hunter"
try to clamp Bjorn the fell handed and give hima parking ticket for not moving his damn vehicle
1. Say that the primarchs are overrated. Especially Sanguinius. 2. Ask a Khorne Berserker is he wants to go to therapy 3. Ask a SoB out to dinner...and attempt to get a BJ(excuse the filth) 4. Point and stare at an Eldar 5. Look at a tyranid and say,"What they hell is that?" before trying to kill it.
barlio wrote:Yeah, but what about if he brings his slave-girls with him?
Dark Eldar and Birthday Parties.
1) Will insist on cutting the cake, cut it unevenly, and will give himself the biggest slice.
2) Will take the game of "Murder in the Dark" a little too literally.
3) Will help himself to YOUR birthday presents.
4) Those slave-girls he brought with him? a) They're not for you or b) You aren't entirely sure whether they're girls...
The Dragon wrote:
Point out to Yarrick that the name of his baneblade was asking for trouble
lol
Play chess with a farseer. (GA-REN-TEED to drive you insane)
Play chess with Tzeench. (GA-REN-TEED to spend 3.5 years cackling madly and grinning, then pull off a move that's checkmate on turn ONE.)
Ask an aspiring sorceror if he could perform magic tricks at your kid's birthday; as for the DE at the birthday party, never ask if he could cut the cake.
1. Ask a commissar were to get the cool hats
2. Ask a slanesh demon out on a date
3. Ask a ork whos da boss
4. Go on a "abandoned" space hulk.
5. Tell a Sob to give you a happy ending.
Tell an ork he has bad aim. Tease Ahriman with magic tricks. Poke a plaguebearer. Moon a slaanesh anything. Mock Kharn. Call Abaddon, Abaddona. Sucker punch a commisar.
Slash Kor'Sarro khans tires
Replace Kantors Power Fist with a novelty hand
Ask Tigurius if he knows whats going to happen next, then slap him
Put a "kick me" sign on a terminators back and see if he can get it off (which i doubt he could)
Ask Vulkan where he got that lovely cloak, "is it from topshop?"
Be Sly Marbo's enemy.
Ask Sly Marbo for an autograph.
Buy flowers to a sob from the order of the bloody rose.
Paint the inside of Calgar's termie armour with superglue.
Destroy a machine in front of a Techpriest.
Scream 'Cripplefight!!!' when Cassius is fighting an Ork with Cybork body.
Put glue in a commissars hat when he has it off.
Use duck tape to stop the water caste.
Ask Fabius Bile where he got his PhD from.
Do not use windows Vista to run a necron army.
Ask Fabius Bile to give you some medicines.
Get caught by Dark Eldars or Emperors Children.
Actually, get caught by anything that is not on your side.
Paint your Space Marine Power Armour into black, add spikes and go in front of your mates (as Space Marine).
Ask Kharn to give you a piece of ham.
Ask "Can I get a new plasma gun, my old one exploded" from Techmarine/Techpriest.
Press the forbidden button in a Looted Wagon.
Ask a kroot if they think tau tastes nice
Ask Kharn the betrayer if he wants to join a peace rally
Pimp out an ork wagon aganist the mek's orders
do an impression of a commissar when he's looking at you
Rangerrob wrote:Ask the cute girl with the third purple arm to dance....
You may not like the offspring...errr outcome.
(Got to be an old schooler to understand this one.)
Why not ask her to dance. She and her "cute" little sister with the big head and hypnotic eyes may want to take you back to their place and "initiate" you. Just don't ask what an ovipositor is... you'll find out soon enough...
Rangerrob wrote:Ask the cute girl with the third purple arm to dance....
You may not like the offspring...errr outcome.
(Got to be an old schooler to understand this one.)
Why not ask her to dance. She and her "cute" little sister with the big head and hypnotic eyes may want to take you back to their place and "initiate" you. Just don't ask what an ovipositor is... you'll find out soon enough...
A Lictor... BLOR!!! wrote:
Rangerrob wrote:Ask the cute girl with the third purple arm to dance....
You may not like the offspring...errr outcome.
(Got to be an old schooler to understand this one.)
Why not ask her to dance. She and her "cute" little sister with the big head and hypnotic eyes may want to take you back to their place and "initiate" you. Just don't ask what an ovipositor is... you'll find out soon enough...
Emperors Faithful wrote:
wuestenfux wrote:Try to keep a Daemonette as a pet.
Cos if you DO
Emperors Faithful wrote:
penut the butter wrote:Turn your back on a slaaneshi anything
Rangerrob wrote:Ask the cute girl with the third purple arm to dance....
You may not like the offspring...errr outcome.
(Got to be an old schooler to understand this one.)
Why not ask her to dance. She and her "cute" little sister with the big head and hypnotic eyes may want to take you back to their place and "initiate" you. Just don't ask what an ovipositor is... you'll find out soon enough...
A Lictor... BLOR!!! wrote:
Rangerrob wrote:Ask the cute girl with the third purple arm to dance....
You may not like the offspring...errr outcome.
(Got to be an old schooler to understand this one.)
Why not ask her to dance. She and her "cute" little sister with the big head and hypnotic eyes may want to take you back to their place and "initiate" you. Just don't ask what an ovipositor is... you'll find out soon enough...
Emperors Faithful wrote:
wuestenfux wrote:Try to keep a Daemonette as a pet.
Cos if you DO
Emperors Faithful wrote:
penut the butter wrote:Turn your back on a slaaneshi anything
Trick yourself into thinking that it will be a wonderful day.
Tell a space marine to do a better job protecting mankind.
Tell Abbadon that you would have destroyed the Imperium the during the first black crusade.
nyyman wrote:Also, don't wanna be noob but where does all this CREEEEEEEEED things come from?
If you don't know, count yourself lucky.
Cannot... Unsee...
In the IG rulebook it gives Uruksar Creed the special rule 'tactical genius'. In simple terms, this rule allows you to give the scout rule to any single unit on your side. (Note, it doesn't say that it must be an IG unit.) So theoretically, Creed could be able to outflank a baneblade, or even a Warlord Titan into the side of the enemy. This has lead to much credo (although well deserved) about Creeds ability to outflank and pull things off that would seem impossible (like outflanking with whole planets, or infilitrating a boltgun in someones boltgun), with his enemies shouting in frustration CREEEEEEEEEEEEEEED!
Emperors Faithful wrote:with his enemies shouting in frustration CREEEEEEEEEEEEEEED!
Which in turn is an Homage to the greatest, sexiest and most manly man ever to have graced the manliness of manhood, registering a 34 on the Chuck Norris Manliness Scale (Which has an upper limit is 10), William Shatner:
Ask to see a Chaos Space Marine's ticket after he boards a ship.
Tell a soldier that there is a thread on dakka dakka that people use to make fun of them.
Buy a peice of art and place it in your cousin's house on Armeggedon.
Caelun Niveus wrote:Watch a game of chess played by either two of the following: Creed/Eldrad/Tzeench
Tzeentch: Hmm... great, my elaborate tactics and thinking 973,535,279,373,254 moves ahead proved quite useful. Only two turns left to my overwhelming vict- wait, wha- WHAT IS THAT QUEEN DOING HERE!
Thou shall not call a force sword a "light saber"
Thou shall not call a Dreadnought "gramps"
When a Sister of Battle is in the Red Rage, thou shall not refuse to give away your chocolate rations.
A Tau Shield Drone is not a skate board.
Thou shall not use a bug zapper during a Tyranid invasion.
Thou shall not ride a Carnifix like a mechanical bull. Or any Tyranid for that matter.
Thou shall not offer to buy something from an Ork.
Thou shall not play Thriller near Plaguebringers.
Thou shall not quote Terminator around Necrons.
Thou shall not take the Titan out for a "spin"
Thou shall not use the Rhino to "pick up chicks"
Thou shall not call a Daemonette a "tramp" regardless of how true it is.
You are not the will of the Emperor, get back to the front line.
Edit:
Put that down, you don't know where it's been.
Thou shall not use a melta to roast marshmallows.
I don't care what it looks like, thou shall not comment on a Tau's forehead.
You do not expect the Imperial Inquisition
Thou shall not use a chainsword to cut your dinner.
Thou shall not offer a Emperor's Children a hand.
A Bolter duck-taped to a Flammer is not a combi-weapon.
Thou shall not fart while in the presence of the God-Emperor
Though shall use servo skulls as Halloween decorations.
Once more!:
Thou shall not use a lasgun as a flashlight, lazer sight, lighter, meal warmer, ect ect. Guardsmen need a weapon too.
Ask were all the emperors poop goes
Tell the commissar that he ain't so tough
If your IG talk like a Ork boy (this will case panic because the think there going to be attacked by a ork boy.)
Possibly the WORST THING to do
You have two girlfriends, a slannesh daemon and a Sob and arrive at your house at the same time.
Lol who would win?
WarhammerTabletop wrote:Possibly the WORST THING to do
You have two girlfriends, a slannesh daemon and a Sob and arrive at your house at the same time.
Lol who would win?
Definatley not you....hope you keep those painkillers handy
WarhammerTabletop wrote:Possibly the WORST THING to do
You have two girlfriends, a slannesh daemon and a Sob and arrive at your house at the same time.
Lol who would win?
Definatley not you....hope you keep those painkillers handy
Well if I open up my painkillers a baneblade will come out
well here it goes "opens pills"