You get a Bloodthirster's whip.

You forgot to insert anything.

I insert Dakka. Sooo much Dakka...

You get an Ork smashing you in the face for not making things stompy enough.

I insert whats left of the Imperium of Man after Roboute reaches Terra.

You get the Eye of Terror.



I insert a copy of White Dwarf #1.

You get my copy of White Dwarf #201. Enjoy the articles about the old metal Kharn the Betrayer and Orion King of the Woods. Feel the nostagia when finecast did not exist yet and lament the fact that we did not have the technology to create the finely detailed plastic kits of today.

I insert the wonderous memory of the first metal miniatures I finished.

You get plastic minis. Welcome to the present.

I insert myself.

Aw man.
Emberlord's stuck in the machine again! I call a repairman to extricate you.
In the meantime, you find yourself surrounded by everything that everyone has ever inserted into the machine.
When you are finally released, you emerge holding the soil of Snurl's homeland and a quarter.

I insert a lock pick set.

You get a broken padlock.

I insert a Citadel Medium Shade Brush.

You get Lahamian Medium.

I insert Duncan Rhodes.

You get Dusty Rhodes.

I insert an Ott Light.

You get a tiny sun.

I insert that light bulb that has been burning constantly since the '50s

You get burnt fingers.

I insert a bar of soap.

You get soap poisoning. (Shouldn't have used Lifebuoy.)

I insert a graffiti-covered wall.

You get frescoes.

I insert a hand grenade.

You get a pin. (Better run...)

I insert an Elvis record.

You get a blue christmas.

I insert Ripley.

You get a wax museum.


I insert a left-handed screwdriver.

You vet a hex nut.

I insert a bag of grommets.

You get Wallace (and some cheese.)



I insert a railroad spike.

You get a hammer.

I insert a Kerbal.

You get a Mechanicus Adept with a stroke.

I insert a pipe.

You get a bong.

I insert sesame seeds.

You get a deluxe imperial standard food ration.

I insert some bootleg pornography.

You get a Mark of Slaanesh tattooed on your butt.

I insert a bottle of buffalo wing sauce.

You get some Kentucky fried Tzaangor.

I insert some cheap Chinese bootleg Forgeworld miniatures.

You get an eBay auction.



I insert a Black Dahlia.

You get a knife.

I insert a Nintendo Switch.

You get Duck Hunt.

I insert a horrible scar.

You get PTSD.

I insert an internet review show.

You get mixed opinions.

I insert a dwarf airship.

You get an instant classic.


I insert 1979 Trans Am.

You get the bird.

I insert yellow scars.

You get Nugles Rot.

I insert a tankard of liquid CHAOS.

You get an invitation to an EXTRA HERETICAL frat party. They really like your booze and want the recipe. They may also have attempted to overthrow local government, but the hangovers were so bad they can't quite remember.

I insert a sketch of an Ork conversion: mounted on a lizardman Cold One counts as Warbiker. Orks riding dinosaurs, what could go wrong?

You get a rule sheet for the unit you just inserted a sketch of. The rules are fine but the point per model cost is quite high.

I insert perfect forgery of Rembrant's Nightwatch.

You get a visit from INTERPOL.


I insert a giant squid.

You get CGI Davy Jones.

I insert a creepy air-raid siren on a pole that somehow was the only intact thing in a barren blasted wasteland.

You get a recorded message.

I insert a wild bikini.

You get a Katy Perry video.



I insert a cobra.

You get Sylvester Stallone in the hight of his career.

I insert plot twist to Zardoz

You get a happy ending.


I insert Sean Connery's infamous red diaper.

You Sean Connery's makeup job to make him look Japanese from You Only Live Twice.

I insert Oddjob from Goldfinger, Nick Nack from The Man with the Golden Gun and Jaws from Moonraker. I also equip them with matching tuxedo's.

You get a man Ina. Rather dangerous hat, 3 feet tall and built like a space marine in q solid gold tuxedo.

I put in a cadian model, a sly marbo bust sculpture and a space marine codex in all placed in a stuffed catchan barking toad.

You get a wonderous conversion that looks like a standard trooper, with the destructive properties of Rambo, the stealth capabilities of Solid Snake. All dressed in powerarmor with a toad familiar. And all completly tournament legal.

I insert three complete miniature lines. The first is from Crooked Dice's 7TV game, the second is from Anvil Industries Afterlife game and the third and final one is Rackham's Confrontation.
I then get an Ork Deff Dredd to pick up and shake the machine like a dice cup. I get a sorcerer of Tzeench to cast a spell on the machine. Finaly a Squat rune smith will inscribe the machine with blessings from the forge.

You get 8th edition.


I insert a big green tractor.

You get a Jeff Foxworthy redneck joke book.

I insert a Sister of Silence.

You get a habit.

I insert the cast of Skull Island.

You get the cast of King Dong.

I insert the Laws of Thermo-Dynamics and the Laws of Quantum Physics.

You get Sheldon Cooper.

I insert the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

You get a towel and a sandwich made with perfectly ordinary beast meat.

I insert a crate of FG-42 paratrooper rifles.

You get a box of squirt guns.

I insert register receipts.

You get an audit.



I insert a bowl of gummy bears.

You get a bowl of gummy squigs "n" rippers. They taste like shrimp and mushrooms.

I insert a Imperial standard issue nr34 protien bar. Cardboard and dust flavoured in standard unappetizing grey-ish brown.

You get a Twinkie.

I insert dried up GW paint.

You get a pot of liquid green stuff.



I insert a horseshoe.

You get a magical horse. By magical I mean you never have to feed it yet it still produces manure.

I insert the timemachine from Back to the Future.

You get an antique car.

I insert concert tickets.

You get a concert shirt.



I insert a 50 watt fender bassman amplifier head.

You get a Noise Marine.

I insert a grav gun.

You get a Portal gun.

I insert a 0-point energy manipulator.

You get a battery on a stick


I insert a 2lb bag of blood

You get some cookies and a glass of orange juice.



I insert an African Spurred Tortoise.

You get a Mexican Staring frog from Southern Shri-Lanka.

I insert a Wolfen Sacred Vestal.

You receive a lifetime subscription to all of the best dog grooming magazines.

I insert the Saw Cleaver from Bloodborne.

You get June Cleaver from TV.

I insert A mummy.

You receive a daddy.

I insert a block of marble.

You get an ancient curse.

I insert a piece of pure warpstone at least 2 kilos in weight.

You get a house call from the narcotics squad.


I insert the Eight I'd-Really-Rather-You-Didn'ts

You get reruns of Eight is Enough.

I insert a Tomahawk missile.

You get blown away by what you get.

I insert a pot of dry paint.

You get a bowl of pigment dust.

I insert suitcase full of unmarked $20 dollar bills.

You get a whole bunch of 2 dollar store vouchers.

I insert a stray cat

You get stitches

I insert a primed hand Granade and a bird

You get Deadpool flipping you the bird!

I insert some angry birds.

You get Hitchcock"s The Birds. As in the actual angry murder-you-on-sight birds. Enjoy the rest of your life as a shut in.

I insert the special effects from Birdemic.

You get the special effects from Plan Nine from Outer Space.

I insert my work schedule.

You get laid off

You forgot to insert anything into the machine and therefore get a fish slap.

I insert some Pokemon cards.

You get Magic Cards.

I insert my poor dead cat.

You get a Grey Seer.

I insert a Deathwatch Space Marine, a Stormvermin and a Tau Firewarrior.

You get an epic Happy Meal promotion.

I insert an unpainted miniature.

You get a warmahordes game.


I insert a an empty coke can.

You get a Drop Pod model.

I insert a Stormtrooper (from Star Wars, not Imperial Guard).

You get a one way ticket to Daccau Concentration Camp, the ticket if from the 1940's, it's not 1940, you wonder if the trains are even still running.

I insert, a pair of wearable cat ears.

You get a Clown mask.

I insert a box of grease paint.

You get a multi million dollar Halloween Attraction.

I insert a used water heater.

You get a leaky boiler blessed by the Omnissiah.

I insert a vial of the Black Oil Virus.

You get a letter from BP Denying all responsibility.

I insert a Mommy and a Daddy.

You get a permission slip.

I insert chicken nuggets.

You get pink slurry.


I insert a breath mint.

You get a bottle of mouthwash.

I insert a bottle of moonshine.

You receive your very own Moon-On-A-Stick! SHINY!

I insert, my permission slip.

You get you slip back with a big red DENIED stamped on it.

I insert one of those mob haired My little Pony stuffed toys we sell at my toy store. The mane on those look like the same strips of fabric our floor mob has.

You get a pony that mops your floors.

I insert a pair of old socks.

You get magical puppets!

I insert a cold beer.

You get a can of Billy Beer.

I insert a triple Bacon Burger, Large Fries, Medium Coke and a Cherries Jubilee.

You get an AED.


I insert a dehydrated pork patty.

You get a dehydrated Bun, you do not get the Patty back.

I insert, a WHOLE ork.

You get orclings.

I insert an easter egg.

You get a Cadbury bunny.



I insert last year's jack o lantern.

You last years Christmas tree.

I insert the complete series of the X-files on DVD, wrapped in brown packing paper adressed to Malcador the Sigillite. With a nice card.

You get Malcador the Sigillite's new address.

I insert a copy of the book: "Joyce Grenfell Requests the pleasure. "

You get a copy of 50 Shades of Grey.

I insert a hollow rabbit.

You get the air from inside a hollow chocolate easter bunny wrapped in an airtight layer of colorfull decorated foil.

I insert my various psychological disorders.

You get the Butcher's Nails.

I insert a Cadbury Creme Egg.

You get jelly beans.

I insert leftover ham.

You get five pounds of bacon.


I insert a stack of pancakes.

You receive a cease and desist letter from IHOP.

I insert a "C# for dummies" book.

You get an expert-level guide to programming in C++.

I insert a skull from Khorne's throne.

You get blood, from the blood god.

I insert unused cans of cat food.

You receive an unused cat.

I insert a cherry tree.

You get, number one, the Larch.

I insert, the late Arthur Aldridge.

You get Betty Boop.

I insert a small pack of firecrackers.

You get a pack of bottle rockets and a paper chinese dragon.

I insert a string of colorfull paper lanterns.

You get a pile of technicolor ash.

I insert a monkey named "Digby".

You get a Beanie Baby.



I insert a VHS tape of 1970's Kung Fu movies.

You enter the dragon.

I inserrt popcorn.

You get peanuts and cracker jack's.

I insert the color from outerspace.

You get the original painting of Van Gogh's Starry Night... And a warrant on your head due to its disappearance.

I insert a Class II Imperial Star Destroyer and a 1:10 Minecraft replica of said Star Destroyer

You get a brick and a stormtrooper helmet.

I insert a list of 40k 8th Edition rumors.

You get in an internet debate with angry neckbeards.

I insert a set of documents found in a secret military base.

You get a clever ruse and a pile of reciepts for pizza deliveries.

I insert a magic wand.

You get a top hat with a rabbit inside.

I insert a forbidden tome of knowledge.

You get the words "Klaatu, Barada, Nikto."




I insert a rusty meat cleaver.

You get a Death Guard surplus knife.

I insert a Bob-omb (from the Mario games).

You get a flower pot.

I insert the Triforce.

You get an Ar-wing.

I insert a Spin-Attack upgrade.

You get a top with spikes.

I insert a drone.

You get an Android.

I insert a high quality sex-bot.

You get a blow-up doll.

I insert two thin coats.

You get a polo shirt.

I insert a jug of industrial solvent.

You get a bunch of ruined miniatures.

I insert a DVD.

You get a VHS.

I insert a letter.

You get a sms

I insert a bar of chocolate.

You get a golden ticket, aren't you lucky?

I insert a single salt crystal.

You get a grain of sand.

I insert Mordheim Terrrain.

You get CNC Workshop Battle grounds terrain.

I insert my WIP diorama.

You get an urge to paint it.

I insert leftover plaastic bits from a dozen kits.

You get a Nemesis Dreadknight.

I insert the Necronomicon.

You get... a magic round-a-bout annual from 1980

I insert, the entire american army.

You get a chapter of Space marines.

I insert the entire arsenal from the PC game Command & Conquer; Red Alert 2: Yuri's Revenge.

You receive Uri Geller's spoon collection.

I insert a blood bag.

You get cookies and orange juice.



I insert a punji stick.

You get a claymore.

I insert a booby.

You get a Daemonette of Slaanesh.

I insert a small meteorite.

You get a small planet Earth with tiny dinosaurs.

I insert some official legal documents.

You get an injunction.

I insert a hill.

You get a certain thread here in Dakka's Forum Games section.

I insert a copy of the 40k 8th Edition starter set (from the future!).

You get AO40K.

I insert Frostgrave.

You get a frost giant.



I insert a disc of Tzeentch and a palanquin of Nurgle.

You get an angry Khorne Juggernaut and a pissed off Fiend of Slaanesh, because you did not incude them to the party.

I insert the Fabulous Chaos Champion Quartet!

You get a hero with a big runehammer.

I insert cake.

You get a lie.

I insert a Portal gun.

You get a potato gun.




I insert a cork.

You get an empty bottle.

I insert a six pack of Pabst Blue Ribbon, an can of Cheez Whiz and a box of Corn Nuts.

You get beer nuts and a block of cheddar.

I insert a Hearthstone deck.

You get a redwood deck.

I insert a Trump bumpersticker.

You get an American Flag.



I insert a cue ball.

You get a break.

I insert a wicket.

You get a Warwick Davis signed photgraph

I insert Boromir

You get Mr.Bean.



I insert a garden hose.

You get irrigated.

I insert a red solo cup.

You get Toby Keith.



I insert a can of silly string.

You get a container of Silly Putty.

I insert a hot cup of Earl Grey tea.

You get a monocle, a top hat, and a posh accent.

I insert an axe.

You get Court summoning letter for illicit arming.

I insert raw sausage.

You get a German restaraunt.



I insert a pair of old cowboy boots.

You get an old John Wayne movie.

I insert a well-used bong.

You get an alligator clip with burnt edges.

I insert cupcakes.

You get ten more pounds.



I insert an ace of spades.

You get a Rickenbacker bass.

I insert plutonium.

You get a Plumbus

I insert one internets

You get a bitcoin.

I insert a set of spark plugs.

You get a '65 Mustang.



I insert a monocle.

You get Monopoly.

I insert mice.

You get Mousetrap.



I insert a hungry hungry hippo.

You get a mob of furious PETA protestets.

I insert an accordion.

You get champagne bubbles.

I insert the remote.

You get a VHS copy of the movie Ultramarine.

I insert an Utramarine...

You get a poster.


I insert my right foot.

You get a rabbits foot talisman. With your foot instead.

I insert a live grenade.

You get a big bang.

I insert ice cream sandwiches.

You get a bowl of sugar and a tub of lard.

I insert a porn dvd.

You get your mother.

I insert Kebab.

You get a stick.

I insert a warm and fuzzy blanket

U get a storm shield

I insert the keys to the city

You get a brick from the city hall.

I insert a jug of milk.

U get an empty jug.

I insert liquid schwartz.

You get an oversized Darth Vader helmet.

I insert juniper berries.

...and you got them back. They are not ripe.

I insert a shovel.

You get a cadaver.



I insert a 9 volt battery.

You get a bunny with a drum.

I insert a clover.

You get a leprechaun on a pogo stick.
Run.



I insert a pair of overalls.

u get a pitch fork.

I insert a fork

You receive a plate of spaghetti bolognese.

I insert a bottle of chlorine.

You get a dead plague marine.

I insert a Rubric marine's hollow shell from after he stopped moving when I vacuumed the dust out.

You get a jar of dirt

I insert a Grot

You get a Squig (pot) pie.

I insert some fossils.

You get some hard animals.

I insert mulch.

You gets Treebeard.

I inserts a filthy nasty Hobbitses...

You get a second breakfast.

I insert the One Ring.

You get the answering machine.

I insert an orc.

You get a Power Klaw.

I insert a Genestealer Patriarch.

You get burning promethium.


I insert a day old donut.

You get your day old donut back. It is now a five days old donut.

I insert a warm glass of milk.

You get an Oreo cookie.

I insert a cup of the tears of Eldar players after seeing the point cost of the Wraithknight in 8th edition.

You get ragequits.

I insert Alien Covenant.

You get a Sangheili (see what I did there?).

I insert Roboute Guilliman's new armor.

You get a silly amount of gold filigree

I insert a Primaris Muhreen

You get a Stuuuuuurmcast Etuuuuuurnuuuuul!

I insert an 8th edition facebook Q&A.

You get opinions.

I insert Space Hulk.

You get Space Ghost.


I insert hair clippings from a barber shop floor.

You get an exquisitely crafted fake beard.

I insert an expired credit card.

You get an IOU.

I insert a Foetid Bloat Drone.

You receive a second-hand copy of The Fly starring Jeff Goldblum.

I insert a passport from a fictitious country.

You get currency from the same country.

I insert Alien Covenant.

You get a xenomorph egg that starts to ominously open as soon as it falls out of the machine.

I insert Wonder Woman's golden lasso.

You get a tiara.

I insert a space raccoon.

You get a sequel.


I insert a sword cane.

You get a candy cane.

I insert a yurt.

You get a Toof neclace

I insert more Dakka

You get even more Dakka.

I insert an Orange

You get some juice.

I insert a vial of deadly nerve gas.

You get GLaDOS' joke book.

I insert an IOU.

U get a Samsonite briefcase.

I insert an '84 Sheepdog

You get '89 puppies.

I insert a shotgun.

You get a shogun.

I insert Guilliman's secret diary.

you get Alpharius and a strange cactus that tries to tell you it is also alpharius

I insert battle star Galactica, classic version DVD boxset

You get nerd cred and a coupon for a half off the new version's DVD collection.

I insert a suspiciously green and spiky Alpharius.

You get a vile of cactus juice.

I insert Lasher Tendrils...

You get a Slaanesh BDSM video.

I insert a Harlequin Solitaire.

You get a deck of playing cards with only jokers.

I insert Cypher's ID.

You get a clue.

I insert a C'tan phase knife...

You get a Swiss Army knife.

I insert bottle rockets.

You get a six pack.


I insert a Gibson Flying V.

You get guitar strings.

I insert a grand piano.

You get Hanon.



I insert a fidget spinner.

You get a twitchy spinster.

I insert photographic evidence of Bigfoot at a bowling alley.

You get a Tupac album with a crpytic note in a strange ancient language from south America hidden inside written on the skin of a dinosaur.

I insert 18,500 dakka posts.

Dark energy pours from the vending machine. Lightning thunders across the sky. With a terrible crash the sky splits in two, revealing the MODs of Dakka gathered around this rip in space time, looking down upon you. As one, they give you a thumbs up, and with a sound indescribable, the rip in the sky snaps shut. The dark energy is sucked back up into the vending machine, and with a small "ding" the vending machine dispenses a note.

It reads "good job."

I insert a mis-attributed quote.

You get a mis-interpreted rule.

I insert Dwarvenforge's new Kickstarter.

You get a note saying its late however they do give you a used codpeice the size of a beach ball from ancient times made out of solid silver.

I insert a vial of angrons blood.

You get about 3 dozen Red Bulls and an appointment for anger management.

I insert exactly 23 pounds of cheese

You get an exactly 23 pound mouse. Not the computer kind.

I insert a floppy disc of Tzeentch. The computer kind.

You get a floppy disc of pizza. The pepperoni kind.

I insert maple syrup.

You get deadpool wearing a sombrero and a mankini.

I insert a snotling, grot and a tribble.

You get gnoblars.

I insert mice.

You get a moose.

I insert my browser history.

You get embarrassed.

I insert a can of spam.

You get spam in your inbox.

I insert an annotated version of the Uplifting Primer.

You get a copy of The Power of Positive Thinking.



I insert a honey badger.

You get a relentless squid.

I insert the Battersea Power Station.

You get the Battlestar Galactica

I insert a bagel with cream cheese

You get coffee.

I insert a dozen doughnuts.

You get a treadmill.


I insert a copy of Machiavelli's masterpiece, "The Prince."

You get a poorly-assembled Daemon Prince model.

I insert a Plague knife.

You get measles.

I insert a book of Indian recipes.

You get Mombasa.

I insert a horse.

You get a quarter.

I insert a dodecahedron.

You get a natural 1.

I insert a pot of Caliban Green paint.

You get Soylent Green.

I insert Zergsmasher.

You get Casper Van Dien with an autogun.

I insert a Go-Kart

You get Mario.


I insert a .45 Thompson.

You get a violin case.

I insert some beach sand.

You get Hayden Christiansen, talking about how much he hates sand.

I insert snurl.

You get more awesome than you can possibly handle.

I insert a bucket of tickets.

You get a invite to a Elvis concert.

I insert the soul of Justin Beiber.

You get a thank you note.

I insert overzealous tattoo art.

You get a butterfly.

I insert a bucket of some unnamed substance found pooled on the ground after a Death Guard invasion.

You receive a ticket to a Khrone's Chosen Rock Tour

I insert my Daily Time and Activity(Bless the Emperor) Report 105.

You get a weekend pass.


I insert a Resistol cowboy hat.

You get a fedora.

I insert an old tallarn model.

You receive a painted Magnus the Red.

I insert an empty cardboard box.

You get a transmagorifier.

I insert Kickstarter.

You get an apology note for unexpected delays.

I insert a Primaris Marine

You get a growth potion.

I insert a discworld novel.

You get a copy of Halo: Combat Evolved.

I insert a can of spam.

You get a can of spam.

I insert a can of spam.

You get ham and jam and... well, you know the rest.

I insert a Venerable Dreadnought.

You get a can of spoiled spam with cheese.

I insert bullets.

You get a valentine.


I insert a spool of barbed wire.

You got a spool of Ecclisarchy-approved daisy chains

I insert a book of Necron Love Poetry

You get a depressed goth robot with an unhealthy crush on you.

I insert a can of gray spray primer.

You get a space wolf.


I insert Lord Buckethead.

You get the first President of the World.

I insert dice that always roll poorly.

You get a malfunctioning Iron Halo.

I insert a Genestealer.

You get a Xenomorph.

I insert Jones the cat.

You get Courage, the Cowardly Dog.

I insert the new aggressors.

You get Clan Elementals

I insert a Fidget Spinner

You get labeled as one of "them".

I insert a Fender Stratocaster.

You get the girl.


I insert a deck of cards.

You get The Joker.

I insert a pencil.

You get the point.

I insert a lead ingot.

You get a silver bullet.



I insert a raccoon.

You get a rocket.

I insert a tree.

You get kindling.

I insert the TV remote.

Your channel gets changed.

I insert the Spanish Inquisition.

This was not expected and is simply returned to you.

I insert a middle-aged man claiming to be 12.

You get a YouTube comment section from an opposite dimension.


I insert a BMX bike

You get a copy of the new GW Product: Xtreme Retro Bicycle Marines

I insert a Astra Militarium Start Collecting box