This will be the last time I put this up on the forums for discussion.

I'm going to start off with a few words of my own. First point is that I have not completely finished this fluff yet. If there are holes, don't complain about them until I have fully put down the fluff. The holes you see now may or may not be present in the future updates of this fluff. Secondly, if you do find a hole after I have finished these guys off, instead of pointing it out, make a suggestion as to what I should change it to. If you do not do this. your point will be ignored. I am relatively new to the fluff and haven't managed to procure myself a 6th ed rulebook, so I have made this race based on what I have managed to get so far. Thirdly, READ THIS POST. It is pivotal you do so. If I think you have simply skipped to the last page and posted something, I will simply refer you to this post. Fourthly, have an open mind. Trying to make a race whilst being a complete and utter stickler to the fluff is damn near impossible. I interpreted it in my own way. I have used loose ends in 40k fluff to my own advantage. Try to see what I've done with established canon and then rethink. If you will not have a flexible, reasonable mind, don't even bother posting. Finally, If I seem to become passive-aggressive towards any poster, please may someone notify me and I will take a little cooling off time. I am quite an unstable person and therefore I apologise beforehand if I offend you in any way.
By the way, I have began a story on the Lynx. Here is the link if nay of you are interested:
http://www.booksie.com/fan_fiction/novel/imaginatus/a-dark-day-indeed

Now that's done, shall we start? I'm going to go back to the point where the Lynx had become fully sentient, intelligent (if animalistic) creatures. To note now, their appearance has not changed much, if at all over the millions of years they have lived. So the first description I give you of their appearance will carry on throughout the fluff. Don't worry about imagining how their looks change.
Oh yeas, and try not to get OT. I want this to be a (mostly) formal and polite exchange of views Thank you.

So, we begin in the Ghoul Stars, just outside of the Ultima Segmentum. It is here the Lynx first evolved and grew, and is still the area of their home planet, [?]. The Lynx are a race of feline humanoids, with many of the characteristics it implies. The facial features are exactly like this (but of course, vary with each Lynx):

They stand slightly taller than the average man, and have a sleek and lithe body to allow for enhanced speed and agility when moving through dense forest. They are covered in a moderately thin layer of fur, but this varies depending what planet a Lynx is found on. For example, Lynx on hot, humid forested planet will have much thinner fur, and will come in a variety of colours. Ones from on Arctic planet, however, will have thick, white coats, much like that of a snow leopard or tiger. They have retained a long, prehensile tail that is used for surprisingly more tasks than you would believe. Padded feet allow for near silent movement, but their hands are like humans, able to hold objects without any trouble, but have razor (and by razor, I mean near mono-molecular razor) sharp claws tucked away inside the pads. Thus, a Lynx can never truly be disarmed.
The closest pic I could find to these guys was this:
http://lh5.ggpht.com/_ZkAju_Q4xNw/TBHEEH8n_8I/AAAAAAAACr8/JKqwVbAB1n8/fel6.jpg

Their home planet is named Veridyth (ver-id-ith). It is approximately 5 times the size of Terra, but has about twice the mass. About 65% of the planet's surface is water, and 32% land. The land mass consists of dense rainforest, and stretches all the way around the planet at the equator. The final 3% is crystal. Yes, crystal. I will go into detail about it later. And it is important to note this crystal didn't become visible until about 50,000 years ago. In the planet's early formations, nearly all of the land was concentrated around the poles, until tectonic shifting realigned the continents into the band that is present today.

Now that I have the basics set out, I'll start on the actual fluff.
430,000 B.C.
The Lynx originally were a race of feral hunters, scrounging for survival amongst the hundreds of other predators that stalked the jungle. Most of these Lynx lived in tribes, led by one Lynx stronger, smarter or just plain luckier than the other members of the tribe. Tradition dictated that any other Lynx wishing to take the place as leader, must best the current leader in a battle of wits, strength or, again, sheer dumb luck. Most common amongst these was the "suicide jump". Yes, this is exactly as it sounds. And some Lynx are brave, crazy or stupid enough to do it today. It involved both participants to jump off of a 50 to 200 metre cliff. They would freefall for a few seconds, before immediately unsheathing their claws and shoving them into the rock face mere inches away from their face. The one who ended up the closest to the bottom won. Or the one that still survived. If neither survived (which was, unsurprisingly, common) then the chieftain's first-born would step up to take the place. If the chieftain had no first-born, then a vote was made. During this time, little technological advancement was made; the most ancient weapons were stone spears and bow-and arrows. They lived in this Stone Age period for the best part of 300,000 years, and in this period no psykers existed within Lynx society.
Notable Events in this Time Period
- Lynx first become the most intelligent species on their planet.
- Tectonic plates have almost formed the "band" mentioned earlier.
- Low weapons tech first invented.
- The Lynx become "advanced" enough to form something resembling a society.
147,000 B.C.
Eventually, some tribes decided to band together and form small settlements that dotted the forests. Some villages were made high in the trees, amongst the wildlife the Lynx loved (and still love) and cared for, farming the odd collection of fruits, vegetables and animals that were actually edible. Others cut down a small swathe of forest and begun to exploit the planet's natural resources. Iron, coal, precious metals and gems such as silver and rubies were commonplace; and so began what the Lynx call the Dawn Age (well, it's actually the Dawn of the First Societies, but Dawn Age is easier to say). More "complicated" and lethal weapons were forged by ground-dwelling villagers, who traded these weapons for food from the forest villagers. Jewellery was first made by a Lynx blacksmith who was experimenting with silver in an attempt to make silver weaponry that wouldn't break. When smelting a small amount of silver one of the miners had found and traded to him for yet another pickaxe, a small glob of the stuff fell onto his wrist. The blacksmith immediately plunged his entire forearm into a bucket of freezing water. The silver went solid in seconds, forming a now permanent bracelet around his left wrist. Inspired by this, the blacksmith left weapons to the other, more bloodthirsty Lynx smiths and pursued a career in making the finest bracelets and rings available for purchase (which was pretty damn good, even for 16th century human silversmiths). Still no psykers have evolved (they have no psyker gene. No pariah gene either, for those who are wondering).
Notable Events in this Time Period
- First static villages established in around 143,500 B.C.
- Trading invented, allowing for a more stable society.
- Medieval age technology begins to emerge, about 130,000 years before humans get there (suckerz).
- Jewellery first invented.
52,500 B.C.
Almost no tribes remain after 400,000 years of advancement, those that do are struggling to survive against the more technologically advanced Lynx. Villages have become towns, and some have been blessed with enough fortune to become cities in their own right. Naturally, this doesn't come without consequence. Wars erupt over wealth, power or just in the name of their own religion. Although this doesn't help much to increase the already low population of the Lynx, weapons technology takes a large step forward. Black powder weapons and shortly afterwards fully automatic assault rifles are used. This age is known as (unimaginatively) as the Age of War. Near the end of this age the Lynx settle into a reign of peace (know as the Age of Tranquillity), led by the Larr'san Royal Family. The Lynx then begin a very small but steady increase in both population and technology, eventually reaching the use of weapons similar to that of the Imperium's Autoguns about 5,000 years before the Imperium does (about 3000 B.C.). A line of psykers emerge, but they are pathetic compared to modern Lynx or even human standards. Religion springs into existence in the early phases of this period, their main belief foretelling a goddess that would appear to them in all her glory and lead them into an age of enlightenment (those of you who have read any of my previous topics will know who this is).
Notable Events in this Time Period
- Large towns and cities grow from the older villages.
- Tribal life dies out about 49,700 B.C.
- Coinage is invented in about 49,500 B.C. Therefore, the invention of wealth.
- Early 1700's life adopted by the Lynx 50,000 years before humans.
- Wars erupt, provoking a huge increase in weapons technology to late 2000's standard.
- Larr'san family gifted with a psyker gene. First psykers in Lynx existence are instated as ruling family. All Lynx are pacified under their reign.
- Religion booms; the main religion is created which all Lynx immediately adhere to.

And that's pretty much the Lynx's history up to about 10,000 years ago. Now things start getting juicy.

So now the Lynx have achieved, base line, a stable, medium level technological age which they're quite content with. This section will now describe the Lynx's current status and recent history.

NOTE: MAJOR RE-HAUL OF THIS THREAD
I will be formatting this thread differently from now on. Every fortnight or so I will include an updated .pdf file that will be the Lynx Codex. Each one will have a download/viewing link, an edit rating and an edit sub-rating. Each update may or may not have a miscellaneous note underneath it. This is how it will be set out:
Update Version Number
PDF Link
Rating=Sub-rating
Notes

Ratings:
These will be on a scale of 1 to 5.
1 = Minor update. Very few changes applied. Normally just spell checking.
2 = Basic Update. Some changes applied, corrections made in spelling errors and fluff conflict.
3 = Update. Quite a few changes applied/re-write of a unit. More detailed fluff conflict correction.
4 = Major Update. A lot of changes/additions applied. Major fluff corrections.
5 = Emergency Update. Near-total re-write of several important areas of the codex to make them more accurate and less conflicting with established canon, or made a lot more user-friendly to read.
Sub-ratings:
A = Fluff update/correction
B = Unit edit
C = Rules re-write
D = Aesthetics

Version 0.0
Page 1
3=A

I think I'll reserve judgment for when its done. Look good though...its a big galaxy.

The suicide jump was my failed attempt at humour. But thx!

I got to admit, looks far better than the earlier versions...I will reserve judgement as well until we have something more concrete.

Also I could not help to notice:

a)

 Mynameisalie wrote:

... no psykers existed within Lynx society.
...But still, no psykers. None. At all.
...Yet again, no psykers. A line off psykers emerge, but they are pathetic compared to modern Lynx standards.

This. I do not like it to be honest; it brings a sense of aggression towards the reader, as if you are referring to someone in particular.
Also on the last part you are kind of contradicting the first sentence with the second.

Finally,
b)

 Mynameisalie wrote:

- Religion is established.
- Religion booms; the main religion is recreated which all Lynx immediately adhere to, out of choice this time.

Try to give more details to the people that have not read your previous fluff. I, for one, am not going to read through 50 posts to understand one; so give some more details for the people that haven't.

Also, all of your dates have B.C. which means what exactly? Before Computers? Before Christ? Before Cataclysm?

On the other side I like the points that you have under each time period summarizing the events.

Too many people bashed the old material, so the part about no psykers is just him getting hammy over it (no offence intended).

No offence taken.
And yes, the dates are Before Christ, I decided to do it in human time to give you guys a better image of how the Lynx fared against humanity as they evolved.
I'll correct that sentence, and the religion will be explained shortly. The one that was made 130,000 years ago is almost identical to the current one. With very few adjustments. For example, the prophecy actually did come true, but I'll keep the suspension as I develop them.

Dropping off some friendly advice. Ignore, borrow, plagiarize as you see fit.

Since this is 40k fanfluff you could always use the Imperial Dating System for dates. It would help keep it more consistent with canon and also help it blend better overall with 40k.

http://warhammer40k.wikia.com/wiki/Imperial_Dating_System

For events transpiring before M01 I believe the convention is to use negative numbers.

Also, 30,200 A.D would be M31. Slanesh was born in the late part of M29 or M30 and set off the fall of the Eldar so in M31 they were still running around trying not to get eaten. Also in the early part of M31 was the Horus Heresy. You really might want to bump your time up or back a few thousand years.

It's the warp. You could make your god Slanesh's good twin sister if you wanted. She popped out just a minute sooner and watched in dismay as her younger sister dressed like a slut and hung out with the bad boys.

Also conceivably make your god's little hide out an ancient Old One webway device. Something isolated or unique that does the same thing that you want but ties in to the 40k universe.

And I'm out of ideas. Note that I didn't claim they were any good just that they were ideas.

Good luck with the rest of your fluff.

Thank you for the advice.
I will take it into consideration and adjust the fluff accordingly.
Just a note: I decided to use human time in B.C. and A.D. as it allows readers to approximate what stage the Lynx were at in comparison to humanity. IIRC, human evolution is exactly the same as in real life up to the present (real) day, and I'm not very good at correlating "real" dating to imperial dating.

I think we should be at 012.M02 right now. Don't ask the month or day in Imperial Calendar, 'cuz I have no idea.

.M003
1st millenia was 0 A.D. to 999 A.D, remember?

Oops.

(humans suck compared to these guys).

Is this really necessary? I mean not only does it make it seem like you're just making this race to +1 everyone else but considering it took them almost 500,000 years to reach the same level humanity got to in 50,000 years it's also kinda dumb...

There's not really a lot here. It's a timeline of events but with so little detail it's hard to really criticise anything. You mention a religion but say nothing about the religion. You mention an entire age of wars but say nothing about them. You mention the entire race being unified but say nothing about it...

Wouldn't 300,000 year old records be a bit fuzzy?

Well if they can record a solitary blacksmith messing about with silver they can record a religion and an entire age of wars...

Wow, you're picky. Do I have to do all that detail? Just to please you?
Look, the reason why I left in the solitary blacksmith is that the Lynx's Psytrix Crystals (Previously Animatrix Crystals, will update) work far better when in contact with silver. Hence, they are always hung on silver pendants. The religion, I will update then, but the wars are really no that important in terms of where the Lynx are today. But if you really want me to...

You don't have to do it to please me.
You don't have top do anything.
The reason i have picked it out as a criticism is because without adding some kind of 'flavour' to it you may as well be writing the history of anything...
Claiming that it's not in detail because it's from so long ago sounds false when you have the record of a single Iron Age blacksmith cocking up while messing about with some silver. An event which probably wasn't witnessed by anyone else apart from any apprentices he had if he had any...
It's up to you to decide what event from the past impacts what but in many instances an entire age of war tends to influence a species somewhat...

You're right on that...
It's just when I was making these guys, well, I only really focused on their recent history. That's the more interesting stuff. The ancient history I pretty much made up on the spot.

Make some of their history influence their current situation somewhat...

Its certainly worlds better than the original fluff.

However, the part about creating another god in the warp and have it live in a planet that just so happens to be the home planet of your race is a little too much. It comes off as making your race sound uber super snowflake special. I strongly believe that in writing fan fiction you don't create something that effectively alters the universe in which we know so well. This means that creating a fifth chaos god (I know it isn't chaos, but it was born in the warp) is a little too much to ask the reader to accept. That and it really truly adds nothing to your fluff, it just feels like it there to make your race sound more awesome.

Drop the whole 'god living in your planet' thing, and it will sound a lot better. Keep the fluff simple and elegant. Make it subtle in its execution. Don't try and force it down your reader's throat.

Why does no-one read point 2?
Please, if you criticize, make a suggestion to patch it over. I must ask why is the 5th god a problem? She isn't even that powerful compared to the other 4. And she only has limited control over what happens in the Warp, or in realspace. All she can do is simple communication to and from the Lynx, via their Psytrix crystals. And causing the system's sun to live longer than it should. Think tiny energy unit that stores more power than it should do for it's size. I can make the Artaich more subtle, but she is the base for the race's religion, after all. If I remove her I will have to rewrite the entire race all over again.
Ok?

This. Again.

The moment somebody says anything, you start bashing them around.

Anyway, you want a chaos god. Good you can have it. BUT do not even make it comparable with the big 4. They are big for a reason. Make her a lesser god, make it more subtle. Tha'ts all what Blacksails is suggesting and I agree with him. Also, the whole finding the planet with the crystals etc...not so good imho. Try to have her battle her way in the Warp, to try and take refuge to the Webway and be beaten by the Laughing God and when that battle is over she retreats to the only safe place she can think of, the mid of a psyker. As a matter of fact make her break down into pieces each piece on a different psyker across the galaxy. She also gets hold of the mind of a Lynx. She then finds out about the crystals and THEN she decides to use them as a refuge.

It a bit improvised but I think you can further refine it if you want to use it.

Also, the whole extra dimension inside the crystals is too much imo, no suggestions there except maybe drop it.

Also, when you ask for C&C listen to the reader. Its the best possible way to begin with. Do not attack people, and do not get insulted by criticism; both Blacksails and Purplefood pointed to holes in your story; the religion being one that I pointed as well, from which I did not get any answer on the subject, as my post was ignored.

Bobakos wrote:
Finally,
b)

Mynameisalie wrote:

- Religion is established.
- Religion booms; the main religion is recreated which all Lynx immediately adhere to, out of choice this time.

In any case if you did not want our opinion, and you think everything is perfect, why are you even here in the first place?

And this is my advice with the best possible intends. If it reads a bit aggressive I apologize in advance.

Edited for spelling and syntax errors...

 Bobakos wrote:
This. Again.

The moment somebody says anything, you start bashing them around.

----------->Anyway, you want a chaos god. Good you can have it. BUT do not even make it comparable with the big 4. They are big for a reason. Make her a lesser god, make it more subtle. <--------- Tha'ts all what Blacksails is suggesting and I agree with him. Also, the whole finding the planet with the crystals etc...not so good imho. Try to have her battle her way in the Warp, to try and take refuge to the Webway and be beaten by the Laughing God and when that battle is over she retreats to the only safe place she can think of, the mid of a psyker. As a matter of fact make her break down into pieces each piece on a different psyker across the galaxy. She also gets hold of the mind of a Lynx. She then finds out about the crystals and THEN she decides to use them as a refuge.

It a bit improvised but I think you can further refine it if you want to use it.

Also, the whole extra dimension inside the crystals is too much imo, no suggestions there except maybe drop it.

Also, when you ask for C&C listen to the reader. Its the best possible way to begin with. Do not attack people, and do not get insulted by criticism; both Blacksails and Purplefood pointed to holes in your story; the religion being one that I pointed as well, from which I did not get any answer on the subject, as my post was ignored.

Bobakos wrote:
Finally,
b)

Mynameisalie wrote:

- Religion is established.
- Religion booms; the main religion is recreated which all Lynx immediately adhere to, out of choice this time.

In any case if you did not want our opinion, and you think everything is perfect, why are you even here in the first place?

And this is my advice with the best possible intends. If it reads a bit aggressive I apologize in advance.

Edited for spelling and syntax errors...

The bit in the arrows? Thank you. That's what I meant by point 2. The reason why I made the first paragraph a list of rules is to make sure this thread doesn't dissolve like in the past 3 attempts (no aggressiveness meant here, being honest).
About the crystals/dimension thing. It's not a separate dimension, it just behaves like one. It just seems to be almost like a safe haven, but still allows Warp Energy (not any entities) to leak in and out of it. This way, the Artaich can be safe inside the crystals, but still be able to manipulate realspace and the Warp in a limited way (realspace much easier).
About the religion... Yeah... Still working on the past version. I'll try to get it up asap.

Redesigning the layout of the OP a bit, to make it easier to read. It'll be in sections with each one portraying a different aspect of the Lynx.

 Mynameisalie wrote:
Why does no-one read point 2?
Please, if you criticize, make a suggestion to patch it over. I must ask why is the 5th god a problem? She isn't even that powerful compared to the other 4. And she only has limited control over what happens in the Warp, or in realspace. All she can do is simple communication to and from the Lynx, via their Psytrix crystals. And causing the system's sun to live longer than it should. Think tiny energy unit that stores more power than it should do for it's size. I can make the Artaich more subtle, but she is the base for the race's religion, after all. If I remove her I will have to rewrite the entire race all over again.
Ok?

I don't need to provide you with an alternative, that is not mandated in providing criticism.

My point is, you don't need to have that god, or even that religion. Unless it somehow starts playing some immensely huge and pivotal role in your race, its not needed. Again, think about what you're proposing. A fifth god is created (highly unlikely [also, god of what?] and really breaks with fluff), somehow finds your planet (out of untold billions, again, astronomically minimal odds), and can also somehow live inside the planet. It sounds exceedingly super special snowflake. Your race would be infinitely cooler without the need to have some kind of god back it up.

You can still have your religion if you need to, but it seems like you can keep the religion without needing. Also, think about how large your race is, compared to all the other races who have gods, and ask yourself if its actually reasonable to have a god for your population.

I truly honestly believe this fluff would be better without the god thing. Make your race a believable addition to the universe, not just some bit of fan-fiction you like because you really enjoy anthropomorphic lynxes with boltguns.

But it took me ages to write...
And they don't use boltguns...
And Bobakos gave me a decent way of making her believable; she's nowhere near as powerful as the big 4. I'll make it so other planets in the system have crystals as well...
And, not meaning to sound aggressive, but what do you mean by "reasonable to have a god for that population"? They have spread to other planets, y'know...
And the Artaich is the only reason they're psychic; she feeds them with energy, but conserves some for herself.

I think I could make the Goddess thing work; it just needs a lot of tweaking?

@Blacksails

I was under the impression that in the Warp there are other minor gods, I am pretty sure I read that somewhere...maybe I am wrong...

@Mynameisalie

If that is the case then I am afraid that the god concept does not work really good. If you want to have them as positive psykers etc and keep the crystals, make the crystals more psychic attuned or something, waking up psychic potentials or something similar. Of course that would mean that other races (i.e Imperium, Eldar) might want those crystals and as such hunt down the species.

Just a thought

 Bobakos wrote:

@Mynameisalie

If that is the case then I am afraid that the god concept does not work really good. If you want to have them as positive psykers etc and keep the crystals, make the crystals more psychic attuned or something, waking up psychic potentials or something similar. Of course that would mean that other races (i.e Imperium, Eldar) might want those crystals and as such hunt down the species.

Just a thought

Depending on how averse to thievery you are, you could just borrow the concept I read in a Raymond E Feist novel (its not unique to him probably, but its the only place I've read it). The magician character ends up on a planet where he can't manipulate magic for some reason (yet he is crazy powerful on his own). Then they find these crystals which grow from the ground, and they are basically magic condensed into an object, so while holding them, they can drain the power of the crystal and use it up to cast spells. Kind of, I haven't read it in ages, but thats the gist.

Perhaps a similar idea would work for your guys?

There are 'minor' gods in the sense that the Eldar, Orkz and Imperials have gods. They exist but can't really contend toe to toe with the chaos ones. Also remember that each of these gods are born from races that either so immensely vast, or so immensely psychic that is makes sense. Well, that and its official fluff. This race seems neither; too small to represent any portion of the galaxy, and too weak in psychic enery (a la Eldar) to create a god dedicated to them. There's just no real acceptable way to make this happen as a remotely serious fan fiction endeavour.

Not to sound rude, but I don't care that it took you ages to write. That has, quite literally, nothing to do with the quality of the work or how I should view it. The boltgun thing was a joke. I don't care how powerful your god is, my point is that it shouldn't exist. There's no reason for it to exist other than that you want it to exist to make your race seem super special awesome. Seriously, I want you to understand that. There's no reason to create a god just for your race to have something to worship. In fact, it would be infinitely cooler if your race didn't have a god, and had some sort of alternate worship.

I'm aware your race has spread to other planets, but we're talking such a minute amount of worlds (and small population) from a psychically less active race than the Eldar, and it just seems out of place they can somehow create a god for themselves.

You can make your race psychically attuned without having a god living in their magical crystal planet. It would be better for your fluff if they did just that, in fact.

And I truthfully don't think you can make a new god work. Not within the confines of the 40k universe, from my relatively strict perspective.

Mmmmm...
I could manage to condense the Goddess concept so she isn't born with Slaanesh. I'll give that a real good think over. But yes! That thing with the finding of the crystals works perfectly! It's just I worked really, really hard on that Goddess. About a month, actually. She is pivotal to the Lynx. She is the basis of the Lynx's religion, and her crystal is maintained by the priestesses (females govern the religion, and do a hell of a lot better than the males did). In turn, she provides protection from demons by the crystals each Lynx wears on a pendant. Any demon trying to corrupt a Lynx either had to wait until they are on another planet that has no Psytrix Crystal or try and get through the Artaich. She is effectively a mind shield and power generator for them. Without her, the Lynx race would be overcome by demons early instantly as their souls shine with a blinding light in the Warp.
As Lynx feel far stronger emotion (mentioned in the anatomy section), the positive emotion is more than enough to keep her conscious and thinking, but the negative emotion also feeds the other 4 gods as well, making them stronger in turn. So it's a 2 way thing.
Lastly, Bobakos, the mentioning of the psyker-finds-out-about-the-crystals thing? That really would work. I do think I could keep her in here, but like I said, with a lot of tweaking.
Please, I took so long on her to not include her in the race.

I have to agree with Blacksails, in that a god probably isn't the best option. But here is an alternative. The crystals are sentient, and when enough crystal is in the one place, it can form a powerful psychic sentience.

So your planet is all crystal, the sentience awoke, and convinced the Lynx to mine some of this crystal, and wear it around their necks. This unlocked their psychic powers, and when they spread across planets, they brought the crystal with them and began to grow it, and it spread along with them.

This does several things; 1) there is precedence for sentient elements that are psychic(ish) (see the second Eisenhorn book, the Lith. Your one isn't chaosy like the Lith, but it's still precedent)
2) adds (in my opinion) a really cool question to your fluff. Are the lynx doing this with the aid of the crystals for psychic-ness? Or is the crystal really the one doing it all, and the crystals around their necks are really a kind of psychic slave collar? Obviously you'd only represent one side in your fluff, and leave one or 2 hints at the other, similar to the Tau fluff (if you haven't read it, then do, it'll help you understand what I mean)
3) Explains psyker abilities, etc

This will allow; A powerful force behind your race for a religion to focus on, a reason all your guys are psychic, and a dark secret that they may or may not have, which is always good in my opinion!

What do you think?

YES.
I could still say that the sentience is female. That way it kinda preserves the Artaich.

Yeah, female works well.

: D
Thx for the suggestion. See people? This is what I mean.
Anyways, I think I'll add a new section today. maybe on heirarchy. Or maybe military.

Bump. Please reply, I would really like feedback on this.

What section did you add/where?

I added anatomy. I think I'll add the "Ancient Wars" section. That should clarify some things for Purplefood.

Seems allright to me

Begun work on the codex again, and will sort it out as soon as possible. It will not include any illustrations, but anyone is welcome to attempt some concept art. When I have posted it, please notify any details within that must be altered to suit the canon; I will gratefully accept. Please note I will try to negotiate a solution that involves at least part of the idea remaining, unless I think it's really good.
Thank you for your patience,
Mynameisalie
A.K.A. Will

Re: The anatomy

First things first, there are a few inconsistencies
-their super brains give them increased tissue regeneration, but they have a slower tissue regeneration because of their super muscles.
-you call the claws ebony, but then say you don't know what they are made of. If you are using ebony to mean the colour, it would be best to stick to a 'jet black' or something if thats what you were going for

Second thing, it needs some work.
-they are better than humans in every. single. respect. In no way are they worse than humans. Everyone else is worse than a human in some way (even if its in the sense that they lack the moral reasoning humans do in the case of space marines), yet your cats are just doubleplusgood on everything else.
Some changes I would recommend;
-Don't give them super memory. Give them awful memories, they have sacrificed this area for their psychic powers and all the other doubleplusgood stuff. However, if they shed the tear and keep it intact, that memory is preserved. This will allow stories to be passed through the ages and what not, they consult the tears of their ancestors. It also helps tone down the doubleplusgood stuff.
-the emotion of a few planet's worth of aliens shouldn't rival that of the Imperium. You can just say they are very emotional, you don't need that bit, it detracts from your writing more than it adds.
-research the brain more, there is no such thing as a frontal cortex, there is a frontal lobe though. But that is probably me just nitpicking because of what I'm studying at uni.
-they don't get super dense strong muscles as well as flexibility and speed, and super strong bones. Pick one. Perhaps the bones can resist compression easily (because they are used to jumping and landing) but any shearing forces and it'll snap like a twig.
-if they have doubleplusgood eyes in the night, there will likely be a drop in efficiency in bright lights, simply because of an overabundance of stimulation.

This is just a first read of it, once I do some more uni work I'll have another crack

Right, the two you said I will fix. To the other points:
1. That's kind of - in a mild respect- what I'm going for here. I'm trying to subliminally show a possible future humanity... just without the furriness. I took that from the fluff where humanity is meant to become a fully-psychic race in the future. I think. But I'll tone them back.
2. Super memory? Not really. One just very slightly better than a human's (remember this is untrained humans, not Imperial Guard). But I see your point.
3. Ok, that one I totally agree to.
4. We've been doing about the nervous system and the brain for my GCSE biology. I know my way around it pretty well, but you're the one doing the course, so...
5. You're making them look "superhuman compared to humanity". That's honestly not what I was going for. They've developed all this from past encounters and it's just how nature and evolution on their planet has forced them to become. They are almost human counterparts in a way, and referring back to the earlier point, they're a glimpse of humanity in the future. Shame there's only a few planets of Lynx. Sorry if I seem a bit aggressive.
6. The eyes work exactly like cat's. Exactly. Practically no difference. Twilight conditions in the ancient rainforests on Veridyth have made them so.
Those are just my views.

Oh, and just a question:
What information about them should I put in the codex?

4. We could well have different terms, and besides, it is a terrible quibble to have, forget I mentioned it.
5. If its what you are wanting to go with, then feel free, I was just trying to point out what others could well have a problem with, and have had an issue with in the past.
6. If they have adapted coats to go with other environments and what not, there is no reason their eyes wouldn't have adapted across the different environments as well. Particularly in those tundra areas you mention, the eyes drawing in a lot of light would be less than desirable in an environment reflecting nearly all the available light back at you. But again, thats up to you, if it is how you want them, then its how they'll be. They are yours after all, not mine.

And in regards to what info to put in? Hmm...a rough outline of everything, focusing on a timeline and the ancient battles? That'll be in line with other codex's I guess

Ah right thanks. I'll actually take the ork codex layout and alter it; it seems like a very good layout for these guys.
And for point 6:
I see what you mean now. Their eyes could adapt to certain environments faster, perhaps?

Question:
What should I rename the Artaich as? I don't want to have to put "the" in front every time I mention her.

Unless you give her a name that is a name rather than a title you are going to have to keep the the(Emperor is a title whereas Khorne is a name)
So call her Sally or something...

 purplefood wrote:
Unless you give her a name that is a name rather than a title you are going to have to keep the the(Emperor is a title whereas Khorne is a name)
So call her Sally or something...

The Emperor has a name...although apart from the old man himself, the only ones in 40k who knew were Malcador (prior to his death at the end of the Siege of Terra) and Eldrad (prior to his *ahem* consumption by Slaanesh).

 Tadashi wrote:

 purplefood wrote:
Unless you give her a name that is a name rather than a title you are going to have to keep the the(Emperor is a title whereas Khorne is a name)
So call her Sally or something...

The Emperor has a name...although apart from the old man himself, the only ones in 40k who knew were Malcador (prior to his death at the end of the Siege of Terra) and Eldrad (prior to his *ahem* consumption by Slaanesh).

Nice catch there Sherlock...
The point was he is 'The Emperor' whereas Khorne and Nurgle are simply Khorne and Nugle. Not 'The' Khorne or 'The' Nurgle. Just Khorne and Nurgle...
One is a name whereas the other is a title. The Artaich is a title of some kinda whereas if she were named Sally they wouldn't be calling her The Sally...

Yes, it's more of a title.
But please, something a little more impressive than "Sally"?

I think Sally is impressive in how understated it is.

Ok, I admit, that's pretty funny.

Find something that sounds fancy, but could have sinister connotations.

A name for some animal which is a bit creepy in another language or something, spider or something, is an idea. I dunno, names are where I kind of fall down.

quark. Nobody would expect a Ferengi

LOL.
After a bit of brainstorming, I came up with these names:
Erethiel/Erethia
Eridana
Faelwen
Atria
Laucamiluiel
Verya
Melodiel (Melody)
Nervianiel

Nervianiel sounds best to me.

Names for characters of new races really isn't something you want to just think up. Naming should ideally follow some sort of convention, like how Space Wolf names are mainly Norse, Ork names are badly spelled versions of human ones or sound vaguely human when spoken, and are also jumbled (in the chaos of their names, there's actually order coming from how it holds true for nearly every Ork name), Necron names sound quite Egyptian etc. etc.

Calling one character Teksehranthanos, and then calling the next one Judy, doesn't look right, and although it's a rather extreme comparison, the message is still the same: decide on what your names are going to be based on and around before you start naming stuff.

If you change from one convention to another halfway through the story, then the characters will look inconsistent, so it's best to think about how you want the names to look and sound first; hell, if you don't want to pick something existing to base names off, make up a long-forgotten language and dialect that few people know anymore, and apply a custom convention to it; maybe it uses a lot of vowels, for example.

I'll reserve judgement for now. Too tired to really have a proper look.

But Alie, some general advice: if something isn't popular, don't keep pushing it. Not burning you (like I said, not looked at this yet), just a general tip. If people don't like it day one, odds are they won't like it day two or day thirty thousand.

I'll post something about your fluff tomorrow, although based on what others have said so far I'm thinking it's better than the first time this came around.

I actually got a couple of their names from here I'm going to be using these plus some custom ones for naming.

Need a bit of help for introducing them. Y'know how all the races have a page or so actually explaining their role and status within the Milky Way? I'm having a bit of trouble doing this. Any help?

I like Sally...

Purple, please...
Enough with the Sally thing...
Come on, don't you think that's just a little too childish for a deity/psychic collective consciousness/whatever-the-hell-I'm-gonna-call-it?

Sally can be a name for a fully grown adult as well. I solved the problem!

*Bangs head on desk*
Really?
Come on, let's get serious. I'm really trying to get this race going, and I need you guys just to, y'know, be sensible? Meh. Ok, the Sally thing is funny, but can we please use a name that's more suited?

Please suggest the name, and quickly! I need it to actually begin writing the codex. If I can't get a reply soon, I'll use a default name that I can alter to suit the populace's desires.

Steve. Adam. Lucy.

Or you can go with an intelligable mangle of letters, like Hjakligo or Dajikiminaliik.

Why do you guys not take me seriously? Just a question, not meaning to sound aggressive.
I was thinking something more along the lines of these? I dunno. Something like that.

 Mynameisalie wrote:
Please suggest the name, and quickly! I need it to actually begin writing the codex.

Throwing a statement like this out there isn't going to garner many serious responses. Its your race, yet you want us to come up with the name for your peoples' overall god. That just isn't going to work, sad to say. You need to get this one on your own. The serious responses came first, the guidance to naming conventions etc. Don't blame the recent posters because you kept asking instead of coming up with your own. Perhaps if you throw 2 or 3 out there, instead of a list of hundreds, we will be more helpful, but at the moment saying 'please name my god for me' is not going to get a good answer.

That's a tough call alie. Better to be original and think these things up yourself. Perhaps use those as guidance, but don't just outright take them.
Gah, complications in fluff making.
Think up your own names, but don't go crazy. K.I.S.S is the rule here.

Possibilities, I've just chosen 3 from that list which seem like they may be closeish

Arulisse - from Erulassë; God is Joy
Volinista - from Valainistima; Divine Counsellor
Rhani - from Raina; Gracious

Thats one way to do it, take the name, spell it differently enough that its your own, yet it still sort of has a meaning

Thanks guys, I appreciate it.
It's just my one real bad flaw in making stuff up is naming. God I hate it. just can't decide on names, but I see what you've done there and I'll act accordingly. If you want it changing, just ask and I'll change it.

I've got these:
Cualuwen
Aryanema
Silica
Euryania
Naryciel
Melariel
Leruthia
Miunaiel
Take your pick.

Aren't those Eldar names?

*Shrugs*
I actually have no idea. Dunno what Eldar names look like. But however, that does give me a small idea...

They look very Edarian. You also want to cut down on things like Cualuwen. If your reader can't pronounce it easily, it isn't a good enough name.

Edarian?
There is only one thing I can say.
WHY DO THE ELDAR ALWAYS HAVE THE GOOD NAMES?!

No, they have the silly overly complicated names. Which is fine for what they do, but makes a cliche that a lot of people try to go with, and end up killing their army with.

Besides, the IOM has some great names too.

I'd advise short names in an elvish style for you. Oddly enough, rather similar to your own name - Tael, Finus, Irus, Alear, Ensar, Horet and Geus are all example I literally just thought up on the spot. A good idea would be to think up some sort of set of rules to apply to naming characters, then stick to it.

Well, as they've were originally from a world where they had to survive on their wits and stealth to survive, maybe more covert names would suit them. But short elvish is good too. Actually, have you ever heard of the Procyons on treasure planet? I have the game, and they're very similar to the Lynx. I could name them in their style if necessary. That would make sense. They have names like Ardurr, J'rrael, things like that. Would that be suitable?

I've come up with a name for the deity. It's not too Eldarish, I think, so it could be suitable. It's just Cleovara. It's spoken like Clay-oh-vah-ra. Not too bad, I think. Your thoughts?

Quite frankly, Sally is still the best name.

Ok, I'll use Cleovara for now. If you want it changing (to something along the same lines) then just either PM me or ask on the thread.
Now that's done, I'm going to try and write the first couple of pages of the codex. I'll put them up when I'm ready. I just have a request for anyone who's a good artist: could you possibly come up with a couple of border/decorative designs for the codex? Or even better, small pictures? Cause I really can't draw, and you'd be doing me a huge favour if you did. Thank you.

Here's some free sample artwork. I'll do more if you like.

Never mind...

Nonsense.

You don't appreciate my artwork.

Because you don't seem to be taking what I'm saying seriously. At all.
You obviously understand what I mean by artwork, but you seem to be going about this as making fun of me for my ideas. If you are skilled with pencil drawings and shading, then please give it a go. So, just please be a bit more sensible, or I'll simply ignore you, ok?
I really shouldn't have to be doing this...

spam deleted.

Reds8n

whut

Lonelictah

That looks almost as good as the brilliance that is Insect Battle
http://conceptart.org/forums/showthread.php?24872-Insect-battle

 Arcsquad12 wrote:
That looks almost as good as the brilliance that is Insect Battle
http://conceptart.org/forums/showthread.php?24872-Insect-battle

I do pride myself on my artistic prowess. In fact, I've gotten good enough so that I can photoshop blind. I use my senses of smell and touch to determine how to properly photoshop.

Ok, I'm going to leave this thread alone for a while, just so everyone can focus on what I'm going for here. I might take a few art lessons as well, just so I have at least something to represent these guys picture-wise.

This single page made my night. Also, Insect Battle is awesome, no one can tell me otherwise!

While Mynameisalie is leaving the thread alone for awhile, I'll be taking over. Here's some fluff.

131212954.M41
A Treatise on the Lynx
By Inquisitor Charles Mugland

Thought for the Day: Fear is the beginning of wisdom.

The Lynx are perhaps some of the most heinous xenos known to the Imperium of Man. Their very existence is an insult to the God-Emperor himself, and an insult that must not be allowed to stand. I propose to my colleagues that we may launch a campaign bringing complete and utter annihilation to these xenos. I understand some of you may dissent to this. Many of you have claimed that the Lynx are no threat to the Imperium, and that our resources would be best focused on combating the 13th Black Crusade. So, in an effort to persuade you, I'll begin by looking into the biology of the Lynx.

Based on corpses retrieved and analyzed by our Adepts of the Mechanicum, we have come to the conclusion that the typical Lynx is a subhumanoid being, standing at around six foot six and weighing one hundred and eighty six pounds. They rarely appear at this height though, prefering to remain hunched (xenos would know little of the importance of mantaining proper posture). Lynx are built for speed, which is an advantage when hunting and a weakness when being hunted; their bones are hollow and lightweight, and they have little to no body fat. They are covered in a thick fur coat, which varies greatly in colour. Most Lynx are a dark onyx black. In favor of hands, they have strange pads which contain retractable, razor sharp claws. Much like their hollow bones, this is both a blessing and a curse. Though they can shred a man's flesh with ease, they can scarcely tie a knot, let alone use complex machinery. Most of their xenos technology is built around compensating for this handicap.

It appears that the majority of the Lynx, if not all of them, are psykers. This is further evidence of their indisputable corruption. They seem hesitant to use their witchcraft, likely out of fear. Their brains-to-body size ration is rather small, suggesting a poor intelligence. If my hypothesis is correct, the average Lynx knows little of his own powers beyond that they attract Daemons. When cornered and when they have nothing left to lose, they can lash out psychically. These attacks can be devastating, boiling a man's innards and peeling his flesh. One of my acolytes, a good man by the name of Thetous, had his bones stretched and contorted when he confronted some sort of Lynx Witch/Priestess. He resembled less of a man and more of the mutant offspring of an aquatic xeno, too horrible to live but also too horrible to die. After purging the foul Priestess, I put Thetous out of his misery.

We have little to no knowledge on their culture and society. They appear to hail from a mineral rich world, if one examines the quality of their armor and weaponry. The average Lynx seen on the battlefield is exceedingly well equipped. I strongly suspect that the only Lynx(es?) we've seen are the members of a powerful warrior caste, which lords over the slave castes below. Every plate of armor, every curving blade and every shell of ammunition has been handcrafted. It is possible there is a Lynx Empire hidden on some distant world, where-in billions of untold slaves toil as to fuel their race's unending warfare towards the Imperium of Man. This is mostly speculation, but it is strongly supported by the Adeptus Mechanicum.

Only recently have we come into combat against the Lynx, having discovered them no more than nine hundred years ago. Full-out warfare is rare; instead we find ourselves defending against small raiding parties, usually going after unguarded frigates and undefended colonies. The largest battle against them was at Thrax IV, wherein a Rogue Trader stumbled upon a Lynx city fortress built into the moon. The Thrax 17th Regiment went into combat against them and was defeated, sustaining hundreds of thousands of causalities. Only the combined forces of the 7th, 8th and 19th regiments, supported by two companies of Novamarines, were able to best them. The Lynx then fled from their home, attempting to jump into warp travel as they were being boarded by the Novamarines. It is unclear what followed, but we can say for certain that almost a million Lynx were slain in the battle.

To me, a million dead will never be enough. There could be billions of them, lurking somewhere in the dark corners of the galaxy. They must be rooted out and eradicated. We cannot allow this wound on our great realm to fester. It must be taken care of now. I believe that if the Imperium applies its strength, we could have these xenos purged from the galaxy in a matter of decades. If we do not, we may allow them to gain strength, and this is something that cannot be allowed.

Please write up the exterminatus report next. Good Inquisitor Mugland wouldn't leave a job unfinished would he? The Black Templars would be happy to help. Alien, psyker, and belligerent. Its everything they hate.

From: Lord Inquisitor Theophrastus van Hohenheim

To: Inquisitor Charles Mugland

Subject: Re: Taking Action on the Lynx

Inquisitor Mugland:

Request denied.

van Hohenheim

Are you defending my race? That's nice of you!
Ok, first page will definitely be up sometime today or tomorrow. Hope you'll like it.
All right, about earlier, when I was requesting some kind of border edge artwork in pencil, like monochrome art, does anyone know of dragonartofficial on YouTube? She does drawing tutorials, and that's the kind of stuff I would really like to see in the finished version of the codex. I know I keep on constantly asking you guys to do stuff for me, and it's not very fair, but I can't ever get them right. I always mess something up on the stance, or the facial features (particularly the snout). I can do perspective swords of 2D engineering sketches and images but that's about the extent of my artistic talent, unfortunately. Anyway I have finally decided on what the deity's name will be; you'll find out what it is when I release the first couple of pages. The blanks you'll see are where I'm hoping to put images or snapshots of a painted army (I'm working on some models, not very good but I hope I can spruce them up a bit).
So! With that out of the way, I'll leave you guys to contribute. If there is anything you would like to add, change or remove from these guys that is within reason don't hesitate to do so. I am really expectant of these guys to turn out as quite a nice race.

From: Lord Inquisitor Theophrastus van Hohenheim

To: Inquisitor Charles Mugland

Subject: Re: Additional Requests for Taking Action on the Lynx

Inquisitor Mugland:

Current Tyranid and Necron threat levels in the Segmentum too high for force re-redeployment. Request denied.

van Hohenheim

Ah well. The Imperium will just have to leave them be for the time being.

From Inquisitor Lord Baron Moon-Emperor Von Pharoshizzletep the third.

To: Inquisitor Charles Mugland.

Subject: Re: Taking Action on the Lynx

Oi bled, I be bommin' deh caht peoplez wit' mah lasah cannons. Request confirmed.

Pharoshizzletep the third.


In all seriousness, good write-up LoneLictor

Shrouded in the darkness of the Halo Stars, a new race is ready to join the battlegrounds of the 41st Millennium. Formidable fighters and psykers without peer, they lay waste to all who wish to prevent the fulfilment of their goals. They fight on in the name of their deity, believing that it is their duty to rub the galaxy clean of the filth of Chaos and gift the denizens of the Milky Way with a reign of peace.

That's just the first paragraph of the codex.
Naturally, the Imperium doesn't give gak to what they're trying to do.

Sender: Inquisitor Sarah Aran, Ordo Xenos


Pharoshizzletep the Third,

I have been asked to step in on the matter of your support for Inquisitor Mugland. The matter of the Lnyx and their suppression has been deemed too costly at this time. To that end, we respectfully ask you to cease and desist your continued investigation that has been deemed closed and sealed.

Your continued agitation in this matter is deemed a high security risk with potential repercussions for Imperial interests.

Please consider our position carefully. If you have any questions, please feel free to contact my office.


Sincerely,

Inquisitor Sarah Aran

Ordo Xenos

From: Inquisitor Lord Baron Moon-Emperor Von Pharoshizzletep the third.

To: Inquisitor Sarah Aran, Ordo Xenos

Imma.

Firin'.

Mah.

LAZER.

If you have any further complaints, please direct them to my Lunar pyramid-mansion.

Respectfully,

Shizzletep, Lord Inquisitor Baron of the Ordo Xenos.

In all seriousness, hope it goes well.

From: Inquisitor Lord Tobias Hunt.

To: Inquisitor Lord Baron Moon-Emperor Von Pharoshizzletep the third, Inquisitor Charles Mugland

This morning I was informed of your plans regarding a certain Xenos species, designation XE1416.//92, A.K.A. The Lynx. While I must agree with Inquisitors Van Hohenheim and Aran, in that our resources at this time are stretched in other engagements, it is not unknown to any of us that we have the most powerful resource ever discovered: man. While we may be lacking in numbers at this time, I put forward the idea that we form and mobilise an army group to put an end to this abhorrent species as soon as possible. Such a feat will not be difficult; research has shown that our initial estimation of these xenos was far, far too generous; they do not own any of the traits available to man, in ballistics, weapon mastery, strength or durability. Though they are fast, it is my extreme doubt that they can move faster than bullets.


I would be honoured to lead the war effort alongside the Ventiran Tank and Stormtrooper regiments, while I am assured that Astartes support will be available in one form or another.
Gentlemen, I look forward to the slaughter.

Most kind regards,

Inquisitor Lord Tobias Hunt, Ordo Xenos.

I don't know whether or not I should say something...

Just leave it a day myna and come back later with more new ideas instead of questions, and people will receive it better...probably.

131212954.M41
A Request for Reconsideration Regarding the Allowment of the Survival of the Lynx
By Inquisitor Charles Mugland

My superiors have denied my request on the grounds that 'The Imperium must survive.'.

The Imperium I knew was never just content to survive. Never.

The Imperium I knew was busy fighting to keep women from holding Administratum political offices while Hive Fleet Behemoth tore into the Empire of Ultramar. The Imperium I knew was purging the foul Hrud from the Segmentum Solar while Abaddon the Despoiler took command of the Traitor Legions, gathering untold Astartes under his banner in preparation for the first of many Black Crusades to come. The Imperium I knew was slaughtering the Salamanders at Tinargua, having accidentally classified them as xenos due to their dark skin, while the First War of Armageddon raged and the Primarch Angron threatened to tear down the Imperium.

It's never been about survival.

It's been about doing what's right. We are morally obligated to purge the Lynx, damn the consequences. They are filthy, unrepentant xenos who hide from the light of the God-Emperor, instead basking in the shadows of their twisted warp Gods. The Lynx are a stain on the galaxy that is mankind's birth right, and this stain must be dealt with.

I already have the support of Novamarines Chapter Master Hendrik in my endeavor, who seeks revenge for the causalities inflicted on his 4th and 5th companies by the Lynx. His entire Chapter is reorganizing itself for the purpose of slaying these xenos. In addition to the Novamarines, the Lord Castellan Jamos who lords over sixteen regiments of Guardsmen, has also pledged himself to fighting the Lynx. Though his motives may be in question (I strongly believe he is launching this war to distract from his recent affair), Jamos commands enough resources to make this Crusade a success.

All I ask for now is the resources to carry this crusade out. I already have the manpower, and the backing of several Imperial officials.

I'm going to regret this...
==Incoming Transmission==
Origin: Unknown
Time Stamp: None Found
Playing...
Do you really think you can eradicate us that easily? We are far, far harder than you make us out to be. You have seen the casualties we can inflict through our weapons alone. On the several occasions you have witnessed the havoc we cause through manipulation of the Tainted Dimension, it has been to our design. We made you see what you wanted to see. You heard what you wanted to hear. All of it, right down to the most minute detail, was intricately fabricated through means of power and mind. The storm of energy that tore apart your Novamarines was but a mere cantrip compared to the might of our more skilled warriors.

What is more, you seem to believe we glean incalculable delight at the sight of the brave souls who face us in honest combat being slaughtered like Harr'drath. Quite the opposite. We feel that this life has been wasted. For no matter how hard you try, how hard you search, you will never be rid of us.

Whilst we seem demonic in nature and malevolent in purpose, I can say one thing that every last Lynx will agree to. Daemons are a stain. Chaos is a stain. They are a canker that dares to encroach upon the holiness of the Material Realm. And for that we shall kill them. To the last. Purity and peace shall be integrated into this realm, even if it means we have to do away with the very rulers of the Tainted Dimension. And by Cleovara, we will. They shall not hide from our fury. They shall not hide from our wrath. They shall be drowned in a tide of purpose that not even the innumerable hordes of Chaos can withstand.

So I tell you now: making us your enemies is a big mistake. Even the Eldar fear us for our... unnatural talents. But they are a gift. A gift that must be used to burn away anything that dares to stand in the way of our goal in a storm of fire.

Ja'rred Ulfar, the Archangel
==End of Transmission==

Transmission intercepted.

From: Unknown

"Ignorant children, I expected more, but alas, you like the others, you deny the rule of Chaos, and have fuss sealed your fate at the sacrificial alter of the thrusting gods. I do thank you for your offering of great proportions. Your corpses will make wonderful decoration once your blood is drained, bones are hollowed out and innards are poured into a pit, but all after your souls are reaped and feed to the starved beasts and scions of Chaos.

We have watched as your fragile bodies explode into shards of bone, and a spurt of blood before a new child of Chaos is freed into reality to seek new victims, entire groups of your race simply becoming ash as Tzeentch's singing horrors dance from their burnt remains and unleash warp fire upon your homes, while Khorne's mighty warriors cut you down, like a farmer a harvest. Must I go on?

We will arrive soon, if you wish to slow your defeat, line the roads with your children and give them blades, order them to butcher one another, we will them give you a painless death."

From: Inquisitor Lord Baron Moon-Emperor Von Pharoshizzletep the third.

Oi Ja'rred Ulfar, the Archangel, yo' be trippin' blud, we gonna send so many ships n' Titans n' soldiers ovah yo' den, yo gonna be dead in tha first two seconds. Yo come mess up me or mah Imperial team playaz, we go smash yo' cat people right up. Yo can send all yo' cats and magic rocks yo' want, we still gonna smash dem all up, it ain't no trouble to me. Step to me blud, I'll get Draigo, Dante and Creed on yo sorry planet, they be messin' yo up fam.

Yours respectfully,

Lord Baron Pharoshizzletep the third,

Lord of the ordo Xenos.

From Inquisitor Lord Hunt
To: Inquisitor Lord Baron Moon-Emperor Von Pharoshizzletep the third.

My honoured colleague,

Let's smash some heads.

After we're done, want to pick up some sisters? Thought so.

Keep it real bro.

Hunt.

To Ja'rred Ulfar of the Xenos "Lynx"

Understand, puny xenos, that you cannot stand against us. We are the Emperor's warriors, together immortal, and this galaxy is his. You stand on Humanities' birthright. You stand against us. You stand upon the road to damnation.
You can run. You can hide. But we will find you, and we will destroy you.
The vast array of mankind's warmachine hunts you even now. The Adeptus Astartes, immortal superhuman warriors of the Emperor's own moulding. The Skitarii legions and Adeptus Mechanicus, honoured warriors of the Machine God of Mars. The Imperial Guard, uncountable and invincible hammer of the Emperor. The Ordo Xenos, myself and my colleagues, come for you too. The imperial Navy shall crush you with devastating ordnance from above, against which you have no defence - their fury shall fall as certain as the rain, and your own deaths. The Titan Legions, guided by the Emperor's will shall stride upon your world and scour all life from it - all these and more come to end your miserable, pathetic lives. You believe yourselves powerful.
You've not seen even a glimpse of power.

So fight. Fight for all you are worth, as little as it is. Fight for your lives, for that is the price you forfeit by tainting our galaxy.
We shall not be merciful. It is the greatest pity we can pay you.

Inquisitor Lord Hunt.

From: Inquisitor Lord Baron Moon-Emperor Von Pharoshizzletep the third.
To: Inquisitor Lord Hunt/

Yes.

Dats kill some cat people, smash sum' of dem psychic-stones, and get sum' Sisters.

Lord Pharoshizzletep the third,

Of the ordo Xenos.

==Incoming Transmission==
Origin: Unknown
Time Stamp: None Found
Playing...
Do you really think you can eradicate us that easily? We are far, far harder than you make us out to be. You have seen the casualties we can inflict through our weapons alone. On the several occasions you have witnessed the havoc we cause through manipulation of the Tainted Dimension, it has been to our design. We made you see what you wanted to see. You heard what you wanted to hear. All of it, right down to the most minute detail, was intricately fabricated through means of power and mind. The storm of energy that tore apart your Novamarines was but a mere cantrip compared to the might of our more skilled warriors.

What is more, you seem to believe we glean incalculable delight at the sight of the brave souls who face us in honest combat being slaughtered like Harr'drath. Quite the opposite. We feel that this life has been wasted. For no matter how hard you try, how hard you search, you will never be rid of us.

Whilst we seem demonic in nature and malevolent in purpose, I can say one thing that every last Lynx will agree to. Daemons are a stain. Chaos is a stain. They are a canker that dares to encroach upon the holiness of the Material Realm. And for that we shall kill them. To the last. Purity and peace shall be integrated into this realm, even if it means we have to do away with the very rulers of the Tainted Dimension. And by Cleovara, we will. They shall not hide from our fury. They shall not hide from our wrath. They shall be drowned in a tide of purpose that not even the innumerable hordes of Chaos can withstand.

So I tell you now: making us your enemies is a big mistake. Even the Eldar fear us for our... unnatural talents. But they are a gift. A gift that must be used to burn away anything that dares to stand in the way of our goal in a storm of fire.

Ja'rred Ulfar, the Archangel
==End of Transmission==

==Incoming Transmission==
Origin: Theta Proxy Astropathic Comm Center
Time Stamp: 131212954.M41
Playing...

You only feed Daemons with your witchcraft and mad ambitions.

Make no mistake, foul xenos. You are just as unclean as the Daemons you claim to fight. And you will be purged alongside them.
==End of Transmission==

==Incoming Transmission==
Origin: Unknown
Tracing...
Origin found: Halo Stars - Exact Location Not Found
Time Stamp: Unknown
Threaten us all you like; you'll never find us. You could scour the galaxy for thousands of millennia, and never find us. We are a race that was once hunted by an entire world. So we learnt. When to run, when to hide, and most importantly, when to fight. It is this alone that has prevented our utter destruction through those unspeakable horrors that we all know as *sound strangely similar to spitting* Daemons.

We do not wish to fight. It would be a waste. For eventually, we will both come to realise neither of our races can sustain such a war of attrition. I should suggest that you go back to your purging of Chaos; you would be doing the galaxy a favour that way. But wasting precious life, just so you can be rulers of the Milky Way? Preposterous. You should realise by now that even the least powerful of xenos have found strong ways to counter your armies.

But this Emperor of yours... He sounds like a fine man. A good man. A God. Who wants nothing more from your race than it could offer. And he was right doing so. A race of your intelligence and power could indeed rule the galaxy, but I must admit, not too coherently. So, if you do manage to subdue our race (which is incredibly doubtful), I wish you good luck. (Not trying to do allies here: Lynx are noble and respectful, it's just what they'd do)

But, if you do wish to continue this futile effort of cleansing us from the face of the galaxy, you may try. But I guarantee you, you will not even come close. The skies will be filled with the molten metal of your Titans and Space-faring ships, and the ground will be littered with the corpses of your dead, not ours.

Now I must attend to other matters; the Council is expecting my appearance. Politics is a waste of my time.
==End Of Transmission==

==Incoming Transmission==
Origin: Theta Proxy Astropathic Comm Center
Time Stamp: 131212954.M41
Playing...

Thought for the Day: The blood of martyrs is the seed of the Imperium.

You xenos truly are cowards to the end. For all your hubris, your only defense against us is hiding in the darkest, deepest, most inhospitable corners of the galaxy and waiting for your inevitable deaths. We will find you. We will root you out and gas your cities so that your babes and children die like the vermin they are. Then, when the last survivors of your cursed race are choking on the corpse-stink of their families, we will light the skies ablaze. The God-Emperor's justice will leave nothing but ashes.
==End Transmission==

==Incoming Transmission==
Origin: Halo Stars
Time Stamp: Unknown
Then so be it. If you continue to force my hand, I will show you the true extent of our power. And I'm not even going to use weapons to do so.

And I'm getting rather annoyed by that Astropath of yours. I'd prefer speaking to a multitude of people, not just one.
==End Of Transmission==

I have just had a good read through all 4 pages of this forum, however I can't find links to your codex/pdfs? I will return later with some critiques to a few things I have noticed.

Oh, yes, how do you make a download on dakka? One that you can just click on the page for?

I have no idea, how have you been showing this to other people? I have a few things I would like to comment on/suggest, but not before I have seen the fluff in its most current form, as I don't want my suggestions to be outdated.

The first couple of pages I will release this evening, maybe about 5:00 GMT.

Just a quick question have you made any concept drawings/models for them yet?

No...
My artistic skills aren't exactly top notch. I am working on some Lynx models but I just can't get them right.

Maybe post some pictures of them and the Dakka community can help get them right?

Yeah... maybe...
Ah well. I'm actually going to try drawing one, it's just I can never get the face right. Or the posture. It just ends up looking really strange.

Don't worry about things being perfect, I think if you go into more detail about the types of weapons that they carry, it might be a lot more useful to your drawings, I don't know if you have done this in your codex yet or not. One thing I have an image of in mind is wrist mounted weapons, as this allows them to use their claws and other such animalistic qualities.

What I will say about the posturing and stuff for your drawings, don't try to draw from your mind, find lots of source material as inspiration. I and adapt and work that. I think that the Na'VI from the Avatar film have a very similar niche as your race, yours may be a bit more feline but I can't help draw some similarities with them.

The actual basis of the race was going to be more elven/Avatar-ish, but after several complaints form my friends about how that was far to similar to the Eldar I thought humanoid felines would be a nice niche for 40k. They haven't got anything like that, so...
As for weapons, tbh I'm actually pretty good at 2D engineering sketches on graph paper, and I've had a go at designing some of the Lynx's more commonly used weapons, like their Lance Rifles. Lance weaponry is a nice niche as well; no-onne else in 40k uses crystal as weaponry, I believe.
Oh, and keep an eye on the first page. I'm uploading the first page of the codex. It's nothing special, just a little taster.

Not a bad opening to your race, but I personally think it needs toning down a little bit, at the minute you seem to be writing the Lynx to be bigger and better than humans in everyway, they are quicker, stronger, faster, chainswords can't hurt them, they are better psykers etc. how I would write them, and this is my opinion on it, take it or leave it, as they are your race and you can go as crazy on them as you like, but what I would do is try to write them as more creatures than humans. Go with the Feline, tribal, nature of them, unleash the beast in them. I feel that the race suits a more feral nature, yes I understand that you want them to be more than mindless beasts like orks, But the humanoid thing is done quite extensively in 40k, unleash the beast a little. Personally I would have them as hunters, second to none in their martial prowess, and stealth like abilities. Make them assassins, and cut back a little on the everyone is an amazing psyker stuff, maybe only have certain more elite cats in the litter make it to the psychic level. Prehaps the opportunity to align them selves with the crystals is open to everyone, but due to the weak mindedness of some of the cats they perish, and only the truely strong can master the powers of the crystals?

Sorry for the silly long post, I hope some of this helps, take or leave whatever you like, question me if you want. Just remember when you are writing a race, its the flaws that people emphasis with more than their strengths, anyone can write a super awesome magical man with no way of hurting him, it takes a lot more care and skill to write a race/character with a flaw. I could go into this point all day but I won't bore you, I hope this helps, if you want me to expand on any of my above points I will.

Caveman has really good suggestions.

I can make them more bestial easy. I'll integrate it into the cultural aspects. And I think I said something about the Lynx being better than humanity somewhere in the thread. Not sure where, but it went along the lines of: "The Lynx are meant to be a glimpse of what humanity could possibly become when the psyker gene becomes apparent in all humans, just without the furriness. Better in every way, if only slightly." At least, I think that's how it went.

The crystals. This is something I get from a lot of people, so I'm going to clear them up once and for all.

These crystals are named Psytrix Crystals by the Lynx, due to their tendency to absorb and magnify psychic energy. Even a small shard can hold an incredible amount of energy, which is why the Lynx all wear one on a silver necklace. The silver is just considered to be a sacred metal, so nothing really special about it. Now the Lynx are standing on an even thinner knife-edge than normal psykers. As they shine very brightly in the Warp, this attracts huge amounts of daemons to their souls. The Psytrix Crystals are effectively a psychic barrier of sorts that prevents said Daemons and Enslavers from possessing them or using them as portals to the material dimension. With me so far?

If a Lynx was to remove their necklace they would A. be unable to use their abilities as they rely directly upon these crystals to perform any sort of psychic manipulation and B. Would be possessed in a manner of milliseconds. I have reflected this in-game by making it mandatory for a Lynx army to take an extra unit that costs little, but is required for the Lynx to use their psychic powers in the first place. It's also stationary and cannot attack. If they stray outside a set range (which varies in radius for each level of psyker) then they lose the ability to use their powers, plus D3 models have to be removed as casualties as they suffer from "psychic withdrawal", or just baseline possession, at which point they are shot in the face by the others in the unit to put them out of their suffering (poor joke, sorry). They are so dependent upon this energy that they'll die in minutes if outside of a major crystal's psychic field. The amount of energy they suck from themselves to fuel their personal shields (which vary in power) and for other bodily functions would burn them out very quickly.

Now this crystal is used for a wide variety of things in the Lynx's society, from ammunition and armour to low-light torches. The reason they do so is because this crystal is more plentiful on all of their planets than any other natural resource. Plus, it grows. Like a living thing. It will slowly grow back of a long period of time, and the amount of said Crystal on a single Lynx planet so so vast they could never hope to mine it as fast as it regenerates. It seems to work for any psyker that is in possession, so the Eldar, and to some extent, the Imperium, hound after this crystal to protect their souls.

Finally, the Crystal is also used in emergency operations. A good example would be the High Priestess. After being shot by a Baneblade that nearly tore through her shield, she had to have emergency surgery. Every bone in her body was broken. As there was no chance of the bones healing, they surgically removed each bone and replaced it with a crystal replica, one fragment at a time. Needless to say, this caused her a great deal of pain afterwards as her body tried to adapt to this new skeleton. But it did give her powers an unnatural boost...

Hope that explains the crystals a bit more, and clears up some questions.

On a less boring note, I've altered them a bit so not all of them are psykers. This will sound really strange, but as a last resort a Lynx's DNA will reform itself and create a gene pattern similar to the pariah gene found in humans. This causes the Lynx in question to lose their psychic ability altogether and become a psychic blank. Whilst they are an immense danger to the rest of the Lynx populace, they are very valuable on the battlefield where they can be used to cripple enemy psykers. This is quite shocking to the poor Lynx when they find they have been stripped of their abilities, and many end up being mercy-killed after suffering mental trauma. Those who survive join the ranks of the Silencers, the anti-psykers of the Lynx armies.

 Mynameisalie wrote:
"The Lynx are meant to be a glimpse of what humanity could possibly become when the psyker gene becomes apparent in all humans, just without the furriness. Better in every way, if only slightly."

With respect, I think a psychic Human species would be closer to this:



or this:



or this:



or this:




We're already very similar to the Eldar, both in 40k and IRL - minus psychic powers of course. With psychic powers comes an enhanced nervous system and the rest of the body will adapt to accommodate the increased reaction speed.

...
.....
..........
....................
............................................................................................


Point taken.

Ok, appearance wise, the two races would be completely different, but I was more going for the psychic aspect.
And tbh, would prefer the 3rd pic. No idea why. Maybe it's just because he's my favourite character in the whole of SC2...

 Mynameisalie wrote:
I did include the "without the furriness" bit, right?

They'd still look like cats.

Re-wrote that.

I agree with caveman, your race can't just be 'better than humans'. It needs some sort of weakness or something.

They do. The fact that they are very prone to daemonic possession if they (stupidly) remove their necklace. If it gets torn from them in close-combat, or knocked off in the heat of a battle, that's it. Their mind is gone in seconds. I thought psychic withdrawal sounded good as well. It allows them to be good psykers, but at a high cost, higher than normal ones. Not sure on what else to give them on drawbacks, but I had this odd idea a while back that some of them fail to master their power and revert to mindless beasts, much like the very ancient Lynx. I called them Psychopaths for some odd reason, but there you go.
Of course they're worse than Space Marines, I toned back the basic troop choice quite a lot, specifically the saves, strength and toughness. So fluff-wise, I agree they still need a lot of work, but in-game, they're not completely and utterly OP (like GK), but maybe just a tad better than SM? Or maybe their equals. Whilst the HQ units are very good, they cost a lot as well, so you can't have too many of them even in a decent sized game. So all-in-all, even though they still need a lot of fluff, I could probably play them without too much of a fuss.

 Mynameisalie wrote:
They do. The fact that they are very prone to daemonic possession if they (stupidly) remove their necklace. If it gets torn from them in close-combat, or knocked off in the heat of a battle, that's it. Their mind is gone in seconds. I thought psychic withdrawal sounded good as well. It allows them to be good psykers, but at a high cost, higher than normal ones. Not sure on what else to give them on drawbacks, but I had this odd idea a while back that some of them fail to master their power and revert to mindless beasts, much like the very ancient Lynx. I called them Psychopaths for some odd reason, but there you go.
Of course they're worse than Space Marines, I toned back the basic troop choice quite a lot, specifically the saves, strength and toughness. So fluff-wise, I agree they still need a lot of work, but in-game, they're not completely and utterly OP (like GK), but maybe just a tad better than SM? Or maybe their equals. Whilst the HQ units are very good, they cost a lot as well, so you can't have too many of them even in a decent sized game. So all-in-all, even though they still need a lot of fluff, I could probably play them without too much of a fuss.

If they are so fragile, they'd be physically worse than guard.

Also, with such physical draw backs, why do they even enter battle? I mean, they'd lose in seconds to a Tank battalion as they'd be thrown around by the blast, they're necklace would fall off and or shatter.

Also, the Eldar have Soul stones, which do the same thing, so again.

Stolen idea.

You sure? They're S3 and T3. It sounds about right for them. And considering the original had S4 T4 and 2 Wounds. So, the statline now is:
WS 4
BS 4
S 3
T 3
W 1
I 5
A 1
Ld 9/8 (compensating for their Perils of the Warp drawback)
Sv 5+/5++
I think that sounds about right for 14 or so points per model. Not as much strength or toughness as a Space Marine, but they have an invulnerable save as well, which they can only take if they're not allowed their armour. That way Lynx getting shot by a lasgun with 5+/4++ saves still has to roll his armour save.

 Mynameisalie wrote:
You sure? They're S3 and T3. It sounds about right for them. And considering the original had S4 T4 and 2 Wounds. So, the statline now is:
WS 4
BS 4
S 3
T 3
W 1
I 5
A 1
Ld 9/8 (compensating for their Perils of the Warp drawback)
Sv 5+/5++
I think that sounds about right for 14 or so points per model. Not as much strength or toughness as a Space Marine, but they have an invulnerable save as well, which they can only take if they're not allowed their armour. That way Lynx getting shot by a lasgun with 5+/4++ saves still has to roll his armour save.

Lower WS and I, it seems they'd be horrid in close combat due to the necklace (Eldar Soulstone) thing.

yeah, I see your point...
But they do receive close combat training, and that coupled with their survival instincts and claws would compensate. But WS 3 is acceptable. Maybe for 13 pts?

Here's what I did for the Lynx.

First, get rid of the soulstones. Too close to Eldar.

Now, they're built for hunting. They have paws with claws and cat faces. So, I'd give the average lynx WS5. But, they're built for speed, not endurance. They have hollow bones and very little fat. So I'd give the Lynx T2. Also, their paw claws make aiming a gun and manipulating machinery difficult. That means you give em BS2 or maybe BS3.

EDIT: Also, change your signature. Long text signatures are horrid.

 LoneLictor wrote:
Here's what I did for the Lynx.

First, get rid of the soulstones. Too close to Eldar.

Now, they're built for hunting. They have paws with claws and cat faces. So, I'd give the average lynx WS5. But, they're built for speed, not endurance. They have hollow bones and very little fat. So I'd give the Lynx T2. Also, their paw claws make aiming a gun and manipulating machinery difficult. That means you give em BS2 or maybe BS3.

EDIT: Also, change your signature. Long text signatures are horrid.

This seems logical.

 blood reaper wrote:

 LoneLictor wrote:
Here's what I did for the Lynx.

First, get rid of the soulstones. Too close to Eldar.

Now, they're built for hunting. They have paws with claws and cat faces. So, I'd give the average lynx WS5. But, they're built for speed, not endurance. They have hollow bones and very little fat. So I'd give the Lynx T2. Also, their paw claws make aiming a gun and manipulating machinery difficult. That means you give em BS2 or maybe BS3.

EDIT: Also, change your signature. Long text signatures are horrid.

This seems logical.

Unless you want them to physically fly don't have their bones be hollow.

I still imagine them to look and feel like this:



Perhaps your elites could be warrior mystics. Tribal elders so to speak.

That I'm quite reluctant about...
Argh, it's just me. Besides, they're really not fragile enough to be one-shotted by a bolter. SM would mow them down, and they're not a horde army. Just cause I HATE horde armies. They're too expensive money-wise, and are annoying due to the time it takes to build, paint and actually field one.
And they're not soulstones. Do you mean the entire crystal thing or just they necklaces? Cause that way I can just make them a different piece of jewellery. They're more of a mind-guard than something that captures their soul when they die.
Getting back onto stats. I nerfed them in WS because they have devolved from having to hack, slash and claw their way to their next meal, so the razor edge fighting instinct has dulled. But it's still there. As they aren't very good at manipulating complex machinery most of their technology is built around this handicap, so it gives them BS 4. Plus, they're good shots. What I stated earlier is much better than the original statline. Trust me, it makes me cringe when I see it:
WS 5
BS 5
S 4
T 4
W 2
I 5
A 2
Sv 4+/4++
And I still can't believe I actually thought that was a good idea.
And I'll change the sig.

 DemetriDominov wrote:

 blood reaper wrote:

 LoneLictor wrote:
Here's what I did for the Lynx.

First, get rid of the soulstones. Too close to Eldar.

Now, they're built for hunting. They have paws with claws and cat faces. So, I'd give the average lynx WS5. But, they're built for speed, not endurance. They have hollow bones and very little fat. So I'd give the Lynx T2. Also, their paw claws make aiming a gun and manipulating machinery difficult. That means you give em BS2 or maybe BS3.

EDIT: Also, change your signature. Long text signatures are horrid.

This seems logical.

Unless you want them to physically fly don't have their bones be hollow.

I still imagine them to look and feel like this:

Spoiler:

Perhaps your elites could be warrior mystics. Tribal elders so to speak.

Ooh, that's good. That's very good. Almost exactly what I imagined them like, just less muscle, and a tail thrown in. Nail pretty much bang on the head there.
Yes, the bones aren't hollow. They're instead filled with a more efficient bone marrow than a regular human has. This allows them to sustain harsher wounds that bleed a lot and survive just a little longer. It's nowhere near as effective as the Larraman's organ, but does a reasonable job at keeping a Lynx alive. Which is why it bumps up the Toughness to 3. I tried to make the statline first, then make fluff based on that statline.

The Necklace is an exact copy of the Soulstone.

Also, the entire idea just feels like Thundercats.

I can change it to a bracelet, or a small item of jewellery that is put on the end of the tail.

 Mynameisalie wrote:
I can change it to a bracelet, or a small item of jewellery that is put on the end of the tail.

Lets say a ring, like the Khorne one with spikes on the inside, so they dont lose it fast.
Also, how about a unit of half possesed Lynx?

Just drop the jewellery idea. It is far, far too close to Eldar. In aspect and function. Just drop it.

 liquidjoshi wrote:
Just drop the jewellery idea. It is far, far too close to Eldar. In aspect and function. Just drop it.

The entire scoiety is far too Exodite for my liking as well.

Indeed. Personally I'd give the whole army stealth (+1 to cover saves) and move through cover - it's easier to attribute their cat-like nature to something more catlike rather than making them all harder to kill than a tried and tested Ork going against a weapon that fires automatic mini RPG's. There's really no shame in being one shotted by a SM. Really. Seriously.

I agree with the advice: Drop the "soulstone" idea for two reasons

1. 40k already has them
2. It makes them look Mary Sue.

Either remove them, or replace with the grimdark:

Edited for grammar:

"The warrior mystic enclave that holds the secrets of the crystals draw supernatural strength and endurance from them. Only gifted to the most powerful clansmen, it marks them above all others and to challenge their authority is to invite the savage ferocity imbued within each, for the souls of ancestors long past are stored within, not protected, but imprisoned for all eternity to serve whomever holds the stone. It would be no surprise to learn that these stones harbor not just the souls of their own kin, but any who fall beneath their ever growing might."

Something along those lines. Did it in like 2 mins, i'll come back after class.

I think this came up in the first thread, the whole "Give them stealth, make them good in CC, glass hammer kind of army" idea, and he just flat out rejected it. A shame, because it's a good idea IMO.

Demetri: Doing fluff for other people's race like a boss.

 liquidjoshi wrote:
I think this came up in the first thread, the whole "Give them stealth, make them good in CC, glass hammer kind of army" idea, and he just flat out rejected it. A shame, because it's a good idea IMO.

Demetri: Doing fluff for other people's race like a boss.

It works, I suggest this replacing the whole psychic thing.

 blood reaper wrote:

 liquidjoshi wrote:
I think this came up in the first thread, the whole "Give them stealth, make them good in CC, glass hammer kind of army" idea, and he just flat out rejected it. A shame, because it's a good idea IMO.

Demetri: Doing fluff for other people's race like a boss.

It works, I suggest this replacing the whole psychic thing.

This.

Obviously thirded from my POV. Alie, you would be foolish not to take this idea and run with it.

Wish people would give me ideas like that. Hot damn...

It would be far better than the whole psychic Thunder Cats thing, and make a concept of these savage beasts that have evolved into a sentient race, but still posses a level of bestial nature. Psychers as leaders would work, but more as savage Druids, that are half sane and Alpha Leaders who rule by brute force. Low armour saves and toughness would be negated by sheer speed and brute force, with Furious charge and fleet a common army rule.

I'd play up the stealth side, good cover saves, dodge saves a'la Wyches, fleet and so on all around, but with low Toughness and few armour saves, if any. Yes, I am serious. Infiltrate and scouts would be common. Some psychic stuff, but more as support than actual leaders, same as most races in 40K.

Thank you liquidjoshi.

Think you've found common ground with Dakka Alie, the floor is yours to command.

Also, (everyone & anyone) if you want me to write a synopsis of fluff for you, I'd be happy to. I'm serious when I said that I've been trying to write for the BL for the past 3 years - send me a PM.

 DemetriDominov wrote:


I still imagine them to look and feel like this:

Spoiler:

I imagined them like this:

Yeah the crystals need a serious overhall, or just remove them. I think your main problem at the minute is you are trying to force your race to be something it doesn't want to be. I find there is a strange thing when writing fiction is that if you let it, a lot of things will write themselves. At the minute you seem determined to have your race as a superior form of humanity, with cat faces. But I think they will write a lot more naturally as a more beast like race.

In all society there is a pyramid of hierarchy and I think you need to sort out the structure of the lynx society, in order to get more of a feel of how they are as a race, and in turn how they work on the table top. At the minute everyone in your race is super psychic and has the same sort of powers except your leader. This doesn't offer much in the way of structure, one of the best examples of this in 40k is the Tau Caste structure, its a very rigid scheme but makes writing sense, and works well on the table top as well. Have a look at the Tau caste system, it may help a lot.

 Tadashi wrote:


I imagined them like this:

[Good Picture- lacking all catlike features]

But the brute isn't very catlike, or do you mean it's personality?

 DemetriDominov wrote:

 Tadashi wrote:


I imagined them like this:

[Good Picture- lacking all catlike features]

But the brute isn't very catlike, or do you mean it's personality?

The general physical traits of a Brute are close enough, and its personality is...yeah, what I would expect.

Scrap what I said before, had a much better idea that allows you guys to get your bestial Lynx that you've all been craving, plus allows me to keep the psyker aspect of the army. So, this is what I'm going to do:
1. Give the psychic Lynx a slight buff, but cost 'em a bit higher.
2. Introduce non-psychic Lynx, with the aforementioned rules kindly supplied by Liquid. Thanks mate!
3. Army play style will change. If you are on a low-budget, smaller-scale battle, then the non-psyker Lynx would be best, as they would cost less and you could have more of them than normal, plain all-round psychic Lynx (now that I think about it, rolling all those tests would be incredibly time consuming, so best to add them anyway). This would allow for a more flexible army well-suited to numerous situations.
4. Fluff is having a nice re-make. Now, this is what'll happen:
Only some Lynx have been given the innate psyker talents. This happens as an entire world, so a planet with Lynx on it is either going to be colonised by psyker/anti-psykers, or just plain stealthy warriors. Now, as the psychic Lynx consider themselves to be "illuminated" to Cleovara (the deity, which I am still thinking about) wish to bring this revelation to the remainder of the feral population. This gives almost a "Great Crusade" kind of niche that I think would be nice to see in 40k. Now some of the feral population isn't going to want this change forced upon them, so this would make feral/civil Lynx battles perfectly reasonable. This also actually gives me more to work with, culturally and socially, than the plain version does.
And I think thenoobomb actually asked for a unit of half-possessed Lynx? I have done the basics of the unit, but this change is going to fundamentally alter them. So it'll take a while, but I'll make sure to post them.
Anyway, so here are the two different base unit choices. One's feral, one's civil.
WS 5 BS 2/3 S 4 T 3 W 1 I 5 A 2 Ld 7 Sv 6+
Wargear: Let's say... Teeth and Claws, maybe a primitive sword or club? Tribal Garments (6+ save, not much else)
Special Rules: Of course, there's Fleet, Stealth, Move Through Cover etc. All the requirements you would expect.

WS 4 BS 4 S 3 T 3 W 1 I 5 A 1 Ld 9 Sv 5+/5++
Wargear: Silversword (basic AP 3 weapons, these guys cost, remember?), Lance Rifle, Amour (no name for it yet, let's just go with armour)
Special Rules: Deepsyker... And... that's about it. Maybe MTC, I don't know.

Does this sound better? I think it makes the army more versatile, the fluff easier to write, and pretty much a good play style that would be friendly to beginners. But, it's up to you for the critique. So, let the questions commence!

I may like the divide between civilized and feral Lynx, but I also think that the Tau and Kroot embody what you're trying to say. Also, I can see that the Lynx are split almost exactly how the Imperium was during the Great Heresy - One believes themselves righteous in light of their Emperor, and the other believes Him to be the false Emperor. (and has existed for almost 10,000 years.)

Questions to consider:

With such a stark contrast already existing in the lore, there needs to be a very defined explanation as to why the Lynx allow corruption into their ranks and the two very different cultures even fight as one under any circumstance.

Do they follow chaos? Why then would they allow themselves to be possessed? Do the human Illuminati know them/influence them? What is their relationship with other races - to each other? Why?

Also, how did entire planets uniformly develop psychic powers while others did not?

What happened to the soulstones? The crystals?

How is society built? Is there a leader? Is there more than one leader? What do their weapons do? How do they work? With so much psychic attention why doesn't Chaos devour them? Why is Cleovara important? Do they have traditions?

I'm still not sold on how they fight - how exactly do they fight? What are their tactics? Are their squads called Prides -do they even have squads? Do they use stealth? Are they legion, or are they few in number? Why are their base units so good at both close combat and ranged combat and have a strong leadership value? Do they have ordinance, vehicles, equipment? What's the technological base of their weaponry? What threatens them? What drives them, aka what is their goal? Do they mutate - they must if they have adapted to other worlds - how extensive is that mutation? What are their psychic powers? How did they come about?

I think that will keep you busy for now. That's about half of my list, and it grows by two questions with every one answered - but it will help you develop your army a hundredfold.

Alie, the best, and really the only thing you can do at this point is take what Dimitri has said and work on those questions. Flesh them out, work with them, make sure you get it all sorted out and consistent, check against existing fluff too. The reason every other thread went off topic was because you expected everyone else to answer these questions for you. Only you can answer them.

 liquidjoshi wrote:
Alie, the best, and really the only thing you can do at this point is take what Dimitri has said and work on those questions. Flesh them out, work with them, make sure you get it all sorted out and consistent, check against existing fluff too. The reason every other thread went off topic was because you expected everyone else to answer these questions for you. Only you can answer them.

Well said, but why are you the 12th person to refer to me as Dimitri rather than Demetri? I don't get it, why does everyone spell it that way?

 DemetriDominov wrote:

 liquidjoshi wrote:
Alie, the best, and really the only thing you can do at this point is take what Dimitri has said and work on those questions. Flesh them out, work with them, make sure you get it all sorted out and consistent, check against existing fluff too. The reason every other thread went off topic was because you expected everyone else to answer these questions for you. Only you can answer them.

Well said, but why are you the 12th person to refer to me as Dimitri rather than Demetri? I don't get it, why does everyone spell it that way?

I think Dimitri is a more common spelling in some areas (everyone I know by that name is Dimitri rather than Demetri for example) so they may just be writing the way they know the name rather than the way you have spelt it? You know, you see a name and its spelt the way you are used to in your mind, even though it isn't the same on paper. Anyone can do it.

Fair enough. I wasn't trying to abrasive, I find it amusing - I actually laughed when I saw it because so many people refer to me as that and I've always wondered.

 DemetriDominov wrote:
Fair enough. I wasn't trying to abrasive, I find it amusing - I actually laughed when I saw it because so many people refer to me as that and I've always wondered.

Name spelling is always funny. So many people try and spell my last name with an added letter at the end, when its so much simpler just the way it is. Its Kay, not Kaye. Why do they try to add the 'E'? No one knows...

 DemetriDominov wrote:
I may like the divide between civilized and feral Lynx, but I also think that the Tau and Kroot embody what you're trying to say. Also, I can see that the Lynx are split almost exactly how the Imperium was during the Great Heresy - One believes themselves righteous in light of their Emperor, and the other believes Him to be the false Emperor. (and has existed for almost 10,000 years.)

Questions to consider:

With such a stark contrast already existing in the lore, there needs to be a very defined explanation as to why the Lynx allow corruption into their ranks and the two very different cultures even fight as one under any circumstance.

Do they follow chaos? Why then would they allow themselves to be possessed? Do the human Illuminati know them/influence them? What is their relationship with other races - to each other? Why?

Also, how did entire planets uniformly develop psychic powers while others did not?

What happened to the soulstones? The crystals?

How is society built? Is there a leader? Is there more than one leader? What do their weapons do? How do they work? With so much psychic attention why doesn't Chaos devour them? Why is Cleovara important? Do they have traditions?

I'm still not sold on how they fight - how exactly do they fight? What are their tactics? Are their squads called Prides -do they even have squads? Do they use stealth? Are they legion, or are they few in number? Why are their base units so good at both close combat and ranged combat and have a strong leadership value? Do they have ordinance, vehicles, equipment? What's the technological base of their weaponry? What threatens them? What drives them, aka what is their goal? Do they mutate - they must if they have adapted to other worlds - how extensive is that mutation? What are their psychic powers? How did they come about?

I think that will keep you busy for now. That's about half of my list, and it grows by two questions with every one answered - but it will help you develop your army a hundredfold.

That will keep me busy. And it gives me a lot more to think about for their cultural aspects

You are very persistant. Admirable. I do suggest working towards a more consice background, using all the questions that Demetri gave you as bases for sections. If you require any help, sling me a PM.

Thank you Ninja. The actual drive that made me begin this race was that feeling of no race fitting me as a person. Having a hand at bringing characters and whole civilisations to life gives you a nice feeling of worthiness.

You could always have collected Eldar...

 purplefood wrote:
You could always have collected Eldar...

I've always liked the Biel-Tan...not as much as Space Marines/Imperium though.

Nope. Don't like 'em. No idea why. Just don't.

Funny...
I mean the similarities between your race and the Eldar would kinda hint that you do like them to some degree but apparently not...
Go figure...

 Mynameisalie wrote:
Nope. Don't like 'em. No idea why. Just don't.

Well...Eldar are a bunch of trolls...and Dark Eldar are even worse...

 DemetriDominov wrote:

 liquidjoshi wrote:
Alie, the best, and really the only thing you can do at this point is take what Dimitri has said and work on those questions. Flesh them out, work with them, make sure you get it all sorted out and consistent, check against existing fluff too. The reason every other thread went off topic was because you expected everyone else to answer these questions for you. Only you can answer them.

Well said, but why are you the 12th person to refer to me as Dimitri rather than Demetri? I don't get it, why does everyone spell it that way?

Lol, sorry, just assumed it was Dimitri rather than Demetri. My bad.

 Tadashi wrote:

 Mynameisalie wrote:
Nope. Don't like 'em. No idea why. Just don't.

Well...Eldar are a bunch of trolls...and Dark Eldar are even worse...

My point exactly.

Demetri, I'm going to try and answer some of those questions, and just clarify a point (it's just a small one).
I'll clarify the point first. Where you said it was like humanity, half believes the Emperor is false an the other believe he is a god etc, it's similar, but not quite there. The feral Lynx aren't against the Goddess/Deity concept, they just don't know of it. Whilst this does sound like the Tau I just want to mention that I planned the Lynx to be allies to them in the first place. The Tau really do need some love.
The explanation for the corruption thing. I don't understand what you meant by that. Really, I don't. What did you mean exactly? I'm going to try to answer that though. The Lynx, as a species, have a racial bond much stronger than any other's. It's kind of a litter instinct. As a race, they'll fight as one, because it's a pre-historic survival instinct that dates back to the ancient times, when Lynx were little more than Alex predators with only a small amount of intelligence. It made them fight as a unit, even if they hated each other, when they were backed into a corner or were working as a team to tackle prey. I still. An't answer it fully though.

No. They don't follow chaos. You think the IoM has a hatred for daemons? You're not even close to how the Lynx feel about them. I think when we were messing about with the messages thing, I wrote a paragraph about the Lynx crushing the daemonic hordes etc etc. They go bat sh*t crazy when they see one (well, the psyker ones do anyway. The ordinary ones don't have clue what a daemon is, except that it's evil and irritating).

 Mynameisalie wrote:
even if they hated each other, when they were backed into a corner or were working as a team to tackle prey.

*CoughEldar/DarkEldarcough*

liquidjoshi wrote:
Lol, sorry, just assumed it was Dimitri rather than Demetri. My bad.

Not your bad, I was just curious.

Mynameisalie wrote:Demetri, I'm going to try and answer some of those questions, and just clarify a point (it's just a small one).
I'll clarify the point first. Where you said it was like humanity, half believes the Emperor is false an the other believe he is a god etc, it's similar, but not quite there. The feral Lynx aren't against the Goddess/Deity concept, they just don't know of it. Whilst this does sound like the Tau I just want to mention that I planned the Lynx to be allies to them in the first place. The Tau really do need some love.
The explanation for the corruption thing. I don't understand what you meant by that. Really, I don't. What did you mean exactly? I'm going to try to answer that though. The Lynx, as a species, have a racial bond much stronger than any other's. It's kind of a litter instinct. As a race, they'll fight as one, because it's a pre-historic survival instinct that dates back to the ancient times, when Lynx were little more than Alex predators with only a small amount of intelligence. It made them fight as a unit, even if they hated each other, when they were backed into a corner or were working as a team to tackle prey. I still. An't answer it fully though.

No. They don't follow chaos. You think the IoM has a hatred for daemons? You're not even close to how the Lynx feel about them. I think when we were messing about with the messages thing, I wrote a paragraph about the Lynx crushing the daemonic hordes etc etc. They go bat sh*t crazy when they see one (well, the psyker ones do anyway. The ordinary ones don't have clue what a daemon is, except that it's evil and irritating).

1. Ignorance of deity - Ok, but why is she important to your race? Why should the feral cats even care? Why do the "enlightened" cats press their religion upon their neighbours? Do they? Why or why not?

2. Allies to tau - This makes sense for two reasons, the lynx are clearly a "Good" archetype and those who align themselves to like them would probably like the tau as well - and those who don't, probably don't think highly of the Tau, which is basically everyone. ./sarcasm (sorry, but even you know that's somewhat true)

3.As a race, they fight as one, but are divided between non pyskers and pyskers, followers of a Goddess, feral and civilized on an almost planetary scale of division. So clearly this is a generalization of what happens when we are, dare I say it, herding cats?

4. The Lynx hate chaos more than the fanatical, genocidal Imperium, but are ok with demonic possession? How? And why do they hate demons so much, yet are at least half a psyker race that is so far stuck in limbo of a description between awesome psykers and incredibly vulnerable individuals without warding protection?

My best advice I can give you is to sit back and do some organization to refine the Lynx. As any good writer will tell you, you will go through multiple drafts until you reach a final product that can stand against criticism - and you have done well in being persistent. I find that when I'm stuck or shifting gears in my own writing however, taking a break -whether it be hours, days, or weeks - and coming back to it with ideas developed in the back of your mind will enable you to write exactly what you had intended all along and see flaws that were not originally apparent.

Yeah... I need to update that. It accidentally posted when I was typing on my iPod (stupid touch function. Buttons are always better). The newest is a lot longer, and so will have a lot more to it.
Point 1.
I'll update.
Point 2.
Yep. I do. Tau have the right idea, they're just going about it the wrong way imho.
Point 3.
Now I could just repeat the words I said. But I'm not going to, because that's peevish and you don't deserve that after what you've done to help. So, yes it's general, but this is really starting to stretch my mind.
I'm going to try this route, and as it's not entirely stable, it may contradict or be misunderstood a bit.
So, the separation of these two distinctly different societies of the same race was caused directly by what the Lynx call "The Shift" (i.e. half the race becoming psykers, under Cleovara's protection and will). Now, as the "illumined" Lynx believe this is a sign of great importance, they want to bring this "illumination" to the rest of the race. They aren't bothered about how they do it (*cough*tau), which does allow a bit of Grimdark to seep in here. they are going to be oppressive, if the need arises.
That's the best I can do. I am only 14.
Point 4.
I'll update.
Point 5.
I'll tell you what: why don't I get a huge, A1 sheet of paper or an empty lined pad about 200 pages thick and just write down as much as I can about these guys that makes sense, before going through it and trying to find errors. I can stretch this over a month or so, so it gives me more time to write and dwell on your questions and you guys more time to pick out errors. If you find even relatively small ones, tell me. I want to know. As I am dead serious about these guys actually getting sent off to GW (no joking at all here) I want them to be as good as I can get them.

 Mynameisalie wrote:
Yeah... I need to update that. It accidentally posted when I was typing on my iPod (stupid touch function. Buttons are always better). The newest is a lot longer, and so will have a lot more to it.
Point 1.
I'll update.
Point 2.
Yep. I do. Tau have the right idea, they're just going about it the wrong way imho.
Point 3.
Now I could just repeat the words I said. But I'm not going to, because that's peevish and you don't deserve that after what you've done to help. So, yes it's general, but this is really starting to stretch my mind.
I'm going to try this route, and as it's not entirely stable, it may contradict or be misunderstood a bit.
So, the separation of these two distinctly different societies of the same race was caused directly by what the Lynx call "The Shift" (i.e. half the race becoming psykers, under Cleovara's protection and will). Now, as the "illumined" Lynx believe this is a sign of great importance, they want to bring this "illumination" to the rest of the race. They aren't bothered about how they do it (*cough*tau), which does allow a bit of Grimdark to seep in here. they are going to be oppressive, if the need arises.
That's the best I can do. I am only 14.
Point 4.
I'll update.
Point 5.
I'll tell you what: why don't I get a huge, A1 sheet of paper or an empty lined pad about 200 pages thick and just write down as much as I can about these guys that makes sense, before going through it and trying to find errors. I can stretch this over a month or so, so it gives me more time to write and dwell on your questions and you guys more time to pick out errors. If you find even relatively small ones, tell me. I want to know. As I am dead serious about these guys actually getting sent off to GW (no joking at all here) I want them to be as good as I can get them.

GW won't ever take your idea.....

Because around a hundred others have hand this same amazing idea, and have revived a polite "NOPE." in the reply letter or email.

Fine. Be negative. I'm going to persevere. Like I have been doing. Having a "give up" attitude will get you nowhere fast. So, say what you like, but I'm still serious about sending it off.

 Mynameisalie wrote:
Fine. Be negative. I'm going to persevere. Like I have been doing. Having a "give up" attitude will get you nowhere fast. So, say what you like, but I'm still serious about sending it off.

You call it negative, I call it reality.

People have made far better ideas (Not space thunder cats) than you have and have spent months on an idea, then to be told that a company who doesn't really give a damn are quite common.

You'll see a bit of repeat in here, but bear with me:

The explanation for the corruption thing. I don't understand what you meant by that. Really, I don't. What did you mean exactly? I'm going to try to answer that though. The Lynx, as a species, have a racial bond much stronger than any other's. It's kind of a litter instinct. As a race, they'll fight as one, because it's a pre-historic survival instinct that dates back to the ancient times, when Lynx were little more than Alex predators with only a small amount of intelligence. It made them fight as a unit, even if they hated each other, when they were backed into a corner or were working as a team to tackle prey. I still. An't answer it fully though.

No. They don't follow chaos. You think the IoM has a hatred for daemons? You're not even close to how the Lynx feel about them. I think when we were messing about with the messages thing, I wrote a paragraph about the Lynx crushing the daemonic hordes etc etc. They go bat sh*t crazy when they see one (well, the psyker ones do anyway. The ordinary ones don't have a clue what a daemon is, except that it's evil and wants to kill them all). So that kinda cancels out the possession question. However, some do allow themselves to be consumed by chaos, and they are either killed by daemons, or a God will use them as a champion (Khorne would too. They can be very fearsome in cc. And they aren't always psykers...). This can be very simply achieved by forfeiting the mental protection that Cleovara gives (more about her later).

Human Illuminati. I have to ask why would they want anything to do with the Lynx? Could anyone enlighten me? I do understand they're a bunch of nutjobs who believe the Emperor will rise again through the sacrifice of his childre-
Oh.
Ok. Not sure how to answer that. Erm... I have no idea. Let me dwell on this one for a while.

Relationships with other races. Namely Tau and Eldar. The Lynx actually enjoyed the idea of another race to talk to when they stepped out of a Webway gate they had unintentionally activated themselves. Result: two very happy races. With the Eldar it's a little more complex. Their first contact was with Harlequins that were patrolling the Webway at the same time as they Lynx entered it by mistake. Now curious about these new life-forms and interested in their abilities, the Harlequins went to investigate. To their surprise, the Lynx immediately asked them how to get the hell out of the Webway. In reply, the Harlequins pointed to the nearest Webway gate. This led to the Lynx's meeting with the Tau.
After this, the Harlequins decided it would be best to mention these new arrivals to the rest of the Eldar race. I'm not going to go into too much detail here, but the result was a Craftworld taking a minor detour to say: "Hi. What the hell are you, how did you get here, and what in the name of the Milky Way are those gems?" (referring to the crystals). Not got much further than that.
Naturally, the Imperium is extremely wary about the Lynx. As they are with every single other race in the Galaxy. Nothing else to say really. Liquidjoshi's own Lord Tobias Hunt managed to get a spot on the first page if you look carefully. However, I was thinking of maybe the possibility of Rouge Traders and/or possibly Radical's having more secret business with the Lynx than the rest of the Imperium. This is probably going to be discarded.

Uniform powers. This ties in with the crystals. I've tried to reinvent them as a kind of battery. They store energy, and a hell of a lot of it. Now this crystal is indigenous to the Milky Way. Neither the Lynx or Eldar (the Tau don't give one) have been able to pinpoint their origin. One of the mysteries of the Lynx. Now, some planets in the Halo Stars have these crystals lying in the mantle, full to the brim with energy. This also ties into Cleovara, so be patient. Base line, the massive amount of psychic energy these crystals leech from the Warp is immense, enough to feed a minor Goddess without trouble. I can answer this question thoroughly when I get to Cleovara, so keep reading.

In Lynx society, typically everyone is valued as they all contribute to the race as a whole. You'll most likely find the Lynx in one of these three groups: the Military, the Religion or (strangely) smithing. Now though smiths are considered normal workers by other races, they play a very important role in Lynx society. They produce every piece of equipment that the military uses. Every last sword, gun and bullet used is beautifully crafted by these smiths. This results in an unusually well-equipped army within the "civil" half of the Lynx.
There is no general "leader of a planet of Lynx. It's a bit more loose, and everyone likes to look after themselves. However, there is a set religion everyone adheres to, revolving around Cleovara and these Psytrix Crystals.

That's all for tonight. I'm tired.

Erm.....not again.....let me get this straight, they are;

"So, they are semi-communist, friendly Cat people, Imperium overly scared, hate Daemons but they are also the favorite pawns of the Chaos gods now too! And they can somehow easily operate incredibly powerful, complex technology with ease! "

Really?

People gave you great ideas, something that could work, but no, Space Tau Eldar Thunder Cats is the better idea.

Companies don't take outside ideas. Its too risky for them legally. If they took someone's idea that was presented to them, and then later came up with an idea themselves that one of their fans had also come up with independently, they could get in a big legal mess. Terry Pratchett, author of the Discworld books, had this same issue. He no longer takes suggestions for anything.

tl;dr Its not going to happen.

I'd suggest you take a look at these two links:

http://www.springhole.net/writing/marysuerace.htm

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MarySueTopia

I will warn you though, they may show you things you are not yet ready to see.

Plato.

"Never discourage anyone...who continually makes progress, no matter how slow.”

DemetriDominov wrote:

Plato

"Never discourage anyone...who continually makes progress, no matter how slow.”

Absolutely, I'm not trying to discourage Mynameisalie. He should keep writing. That being said, he needs to know how to improve. If we don't tell him what needs changing in his fluff, he'll never change it.

 LoneLictor wrote:

DemetriDominov wrote:

Plato

"Never discourage anyone...who continually makes progress, no matter how slow.”

Absolutely, I'm not trying to discourage Mynameisalie. He should keep writing. That being said, he needs to know how to improve. If we don't tell him what needs changing in his fluff, he'll never change it.

You sir, are correct.

 blood reaper wrote:
Erm.....not again.....let me get this straight, they are;

"So, they are semi-communist, friendly Cat people, Imperium overly scared, hate Daemons but they are also the favorite pawns of the Chaos gods now too! And they can somehow easily operate incredibly powerful, complex technology with ease! "

Really?

People gave you great ideas, something that could work, but no, Space Tau Eldar Thunder Cats is the better idea.

Communist? No. Friendly? They'll kill their own race if it suits them. Scared of the Imperium? No. More wary. Besides, the Imperium hates xenos and psykers. Aren't pawns of Chaos Gods (Goddess is not born of Chaos) and the ones that do do so voluntairily for the sake of power, immortality etc. and in a race of psykers, some will fall to chaos. It's inevitable. Using incredibly complicated machinery? Have you even read the first page of the codex yet? It clearly states they are unable to use advanced or complex machinery due to their paws getting in the way. Ergo, their technology is built around this handicap and is relatively simple to use, no matter how complex the internal workings are.

You seem to be disregarding some of the information I am offering or twisting it to your own ends to give you a standing point to pick at my race from. Unlike most other people on this thread, you don't question me about things. Like Demetri and LL have said, I need to think on questions given to me and adjust the fluff accordingly. If you did this, two things would happen. 1. We would get along better and 2. This race will improve much faster. Now, whilst at first I disregarded their bestial side, I have included it because it allows me to make the race more diverse and interesting to read.

So please, stop picking at me and my race and make a contribution that isn't peevish or aggressive and actually helps me to improve this race.

Oh and LL, that link to the questionnaire you gave me? I actually only got 7. It's very hard to replicate exactly what you imagine in your mind with words alone. So, as I am trying to learn some animation and digital model making, I will try to get small pics and anims for you to see.

P.S. LoneLictor, you are awesome. I explored the site a bit and found a page on how to make deities better. It's exactly what I need! Thank you so much!

 Mynameisalie wrote:

 blood reaper wrote:
Erm.....not again.....let me get this straight, they are;

"So, they are semi-communist, friendly Cat people, Imperium overly scared, hate Daemons but they are also the favorite pawns of the Chaos gods now too! And they can somehow easily operate incredibly powerful, complex technology with ease! "

Really?

People gave you great ideas, something that could work, but no, Space Tau Eldar Thunder Cats is the better idea.

Communist? No. Friendly? They'll kill their own race if it suits them. Scared of the Imperium? No. More wary. Besides, the Imperium hates xenos and psykers. Aren't pawns of Chaos Gods (Goddess is not born of Chaos) and the ones that do do so voluntairily for the sake of power, immortality etc. and in a race of psykers, some will fall to chaos. It's inevitable. Using incredibly complicated machinery? Have you even read the first page of the codex yet? It clearly states they are unable to use advanced or complex machinery due to their paws getting in the way. Ergo, their technology is built around this handicap and is relatively simple to use, no matter how complex the internal workings are.

You seem to be disregarding some of the information I am offering or twisting it to your own ends to give you a standing point to pick at my race from. Unlike most other people on this thread, you don't question me about things. Like Demetri and LL have said, I need to think on questions given to me and adjust the fluff accordingly. If you did this, two things would happen. 1. We would get along better and 2. This race will improve much faster. Now, whilst at first I disregarded their bestial side, I have included it because it allows me to make the race more diverse and interesting to read.

So please, stop picking at me and my race and make a contribution that isn't peevish or aggressive and actually helps me to improve this race.

Oh and LL, that link to the questionnaire you gave me? I actually only got 7. It's very hard to replicate exactly what you imagine in your mind with words alone. So, as I am trying to learn some animation and digital model making, I will try to get small pics and anims for you to see.

I'm using the information you gave, not twisting it, nor am I disregarding it. Your race has far too many holes the way you wish to play it, please, just use Eldar, they are exactly the same.

And the society you described is communist.

 blood reaper wrote:


I'm using the information you gave, not twisting it, nor am I disregarding it. Your race has far too many holes the way you wish to play it, please, just use Eldar, they are exactly the same.

They're not cats, so he won't do it. Plus...he doesn't like their methods: i.e. trolling around everyone. Personally, while the Eldar being trolls is irritating, its not like the Imperium's much better (relative to the Great Crusade, of course).

 Tadashi wrote:

 blood reaper wrote:


I'm using the information you gave, not twisting it, nor am I disregarding it. Your race has far too many holes the way you wish to play it, please, just use Eldar, they are exactly the same.

They're not cats, so he won't do it. Plus...he doesn't like their methods: i.e. trolling around everyone. Personally, while the Eldar being trolls is irritating, its not like the Imperium's much better (relative to the Great Crusade, of course).

I meant use the Eldar's Codex.

The entire idea would just be better without the psychic part at all.

 blood reaper wrote:

 Mynameisalie wrote:

 blood reaper wrote:
Erm.....not again.....let me get this straight, they are;

"So, they are semi-communist, friendly Cat people, Imperium overly scared, hate Daemons but they are also the favorite pawns of the Chaos gods now too! And they can somehow easily operate incredibly powerful, complex technology with ease! "

Really?

People gave you great ideas, something that could work, but no, Space Tau Eldar Thunder Cats is the better idea.

Communist? No. Friendly? They'll kill their own race if it suits them. Scared of the Imperium? No. More wary. Besides, the Imperium hates xenos and psykers. Aren't pawns of Chaos Gods (Goddess is not born of Chaos) and the ones that do do so voluntairily for the sake of power, immortality etc. and in a race of psykers, some will fall to chaos. It's inevitable. Using incredibly complicated machinery? Have you even read the first page of the codex yet? It clearly states they are unable to use advanced or complex machinery due to their paws getting in the way. Ergo, their technology is built around this handicap and is relatively simple to use, no matter how complex the internal workings are.

You seem to be disregarding some of the information I am offering or twisting it to your own ends to give you a standing point to pick at my race from. Unlike most other people on this thread, you don't question me about things. Like Demetri and LL have said, I need to think on questions given to me and adjust the fluff accordingly. If you did this, two things would happen. 1. We would get along better and 2. This race will improve much faster. Now, whilst at first I disregarded their bestial side, I have included it because it allows me to make the race more diverse and interesting to read.

So please, stop picking at me and my race and make a contribution that isn't peevish or aggressive and actually helps me to improve this race.

Oh and LL, that link to the questionnaire you gave me? I actually only got 7. It's very hard to replicate exactly what you imagine in your mind with words alone. So, as I am trying to learn some animation and digital model making, I will try to get small pics and anims for you to see.

I'm using the information you gave, not twisting it, nor am I disregarding it. Your race has far too many holes the way you wish to play it, please, just use Eldar, they are exactly the same.

And the society you described is communist.

No, the Lynx are born into classes, but interbreeding is allowed. There's working class, military class, spiritual class and noble class as the general gist. A Lynx can hold a very great position of power over his comrades just because he was born into a particular class, and they have their own currency and economy as a species.

And you most surely are twisting it.

And I hate Eldar. They are a bunch of trolling donkey-caves. Only reason I have this army allied with them is the fact that it makes sense. And the reason I chose cats was cause they were the only appearance I could actually think of at the time. And besides, I like cats cause I have one who sits on my lap (but drools. All the bloody time) and is affectionate.

And you say this race is exactly like Eldar? Let's just compare the differences:
They are two completely different species, for one. Plus, half the race isn't even psychic. More than half, to be more exact.

They also look completely different. Tell me what similarities are apparent between cats and elves? None.

The Lynx are actually a thriving race. Unlike the Eldar, who have done a very good job at getting their race nearly wiped out. And it's still in decline.

The two races age differently. An Eldar will take about 1000 years to die. A civil Lynx may last 90 or so at best. A feral will last just above half of that, maybe 50 years.

When a Lynx dies, he dies for good. No soulstone is there to preserve their soul. It's gone. Bye bye. End of it. A Lynx has to hope that when he breathes his dying breath Cleovara will take pity on him and absorb his soul into her consciousness. Which doesn't happen that often.

The Lynx have never had an empire. Ever. They are comparatively new to warfare and territory on a planetary scale.

Eldar have a much darker and shrouded past than the Lynx. The past 400 odd thousand years has seen them fighting over small areas on a single planet. Hardly any of their history is more than half a million years old, so their history is two things. Much more clear, and much less interesting.

Though the two races have both generated a God(dess? Is Slaanesh generally female?), The Lynx did so differently. Cleovara is a manifestation of the collective consciousness of the Lynx race.
Slaanesh is a manifestation of negative emotion. There's a lot of difference there.

Lynx tech is different to Eldar. For one, much of their technology is based upon the energy radiated from the crystal that grows on psychic Lynx planets. The energy, not the crystal itself. The energy given off by these crystals is so unreal it's more like another form of energy. It seems to have a limited capacity for fuelling psychic powers, but this particular energy conversion is only 10% efficient or so. So instead, the Lynx have developed machines and/or psychic constructs (some are a mixture of both) that are better at this particular energy conversion or use the energy as fuel to do work (its more effective than either psychic or nuclear power, even better than a plasma reactor) or use it as a potent and deadly weapon. They use the crystal as ammunition and armour simply because it's plentiful. Nothing more. Would you use up a non-renewable resource that isn't as strong, flexible or versatile as another renewable resource to make your technology? I certainly wouldn't.

The two races' military are different. The Eldar are typically conservative of their forces and their resources, whereas Lynx are typically more bold and daring as they are a growing race and can afford to take such risks. The two fight differently. Again, the Eldar are conservative and prefer lightning strikes, where Lynx may try an all-out offensive using sheer power.

Society is not similar. The Lynx do have a caste system. but it is not similar enough to the Tau's to be classed as an exact copy. A Lynx is born into a particular class, and is often encouraged to follow this caste's ways. They don't have to, though.

Lynx have never tried to exploit everything they are capable of doing. 'Nuff said.

And you call this "exactly the same"? Try thinking about these guys without a stubborn, completely set mind and look at the differences! This race has the potential to be great following this path, but you don't seem to see that, whilst everyone else seems to think along the same lines.

 Mynameisalie wrote:

 blood reaper wrote:

 Mynameisalie wrote:

 blood reaper wrote:
Erm.....not again.....let me get this straight, they are;

"So, they are semi-communist, friendly Cat people, Imperium overly scared, hate Daemons but they are also the favorite pawns of the Chaos gods now too! And they can somehow easily operate incredibly powerful, complex technology with ease! "

Really?

People gave you great ideas, something that could work, but no, Space Tau Eldar Thunder Cats is the better idea.

Communist? No. Friendly? They'll kill their own race if it suits them. Scared of the Imperium? No. More wary. Besides, the Imperium hates xenos and psykers. Aren't pawns of Chaos Gods (Goddess is not born of Chaos) and the ones that do do so voluntairily for the sake of power, immortality etc. and in a race of psykers, some will fall to chaos. It's inevitable. Using incredibly complicated machinery? Have you even read the first page of the codex yet? It clearly states they are unable to use advanced or complex machinery due to their paws getting in the way. Ergo, their technology is built around this handicap and is relatively simple to use, no matter how complex the internal workings are.

You seem to be disregarding some of the information I am offering or twisting it to your own ends to give you a standing point to pick at my race from. Unlike most other people on this thread, you don't question me about things. Like Demetri and LL have said, I need to think on questions given to me and adjust the fluff accordingly. If you did this, two things would happen. 1. We would get along better and 2. This race will improve much faster. Now, whilst at first I disregarded their bestial side, I have included it because it allows me to make the race more diverse and interesting to read.

So please, stop picking at me and my race and make a contribution that isn't peevish or aggressive and actually helps me to improve this race.

Oh and LL, that link to the questionnaire you gave me? I actually only got 7. It's very hard to replicate exactly what you imagine in your mind with words alone. So, as I am trying to learn some animation and digital model making, I will try to get small pics and anims for you to see.

I'm using the information you gave, not twisting it, nor am I disregarding it. Your race has far too many holes the way you wish to play it, please, just use Eldar, they are exactly the same.

And the society you described is communist.

No, the Lynx are born into classes, but interbreeding is allowed. There's working class, military class, spiritual class and noble class as the general gist. A Lynx can hold a very great position of power over his comrades just because he was born into a particular class, and they have their own currency and economy as a species.

And you most surely are twisting it.

And I hate Eldar. They are a bunch of trolling donkey-caves. Only reason I have this army allied with them is the fact that it makes sense. And the reason I chose cats was cause they were the only appearance I could actually think of at the time. And besides, I like cats cause I have one who sits on my lap (but drools. All the bloody time) and is affectionate.

And you say this race is exactly like Eldar? Let's just compare the differences:
They are two completely different species, for one. Plus, half the race isn't even psychic. More than half, to be more exact.

They also look completely different. Tell me what similarities are apparent between cats and elves? None.

The Lynx are actually a thriving race. Unlike the Eldar, who have done a very good job at getting their race nearly wiped out. And it's still in decline.

The two races age differently. An Eldar will take about 1000 years to die. A civil Lynx may last 90 or so at best. A feral will last just above half of that, maybe 50 years.

When a Lynx dies, he dies for good. No soulstone is there to preserve their soul. It's gone. Bye bye. End of it. A Lynx has to hope that when he breathes his dying breath Cleovara will take pity on him and absorb his soul into her consciousness. Which doesn't happen that often.

The Lynx have never had an empire. Ever. They are comparatively new to warfare and territory on a planetary scale.

Eldar have a much darker and shrouded past than the Lynx. The past 400 odd thousand years has seen them fighting over small areas on a single planet. Hardly any of their history is more than half a million years old, so their history is two things. Much more clear, and much less interesting.

Though the two races have both generated a God(dess? Is Slaanesh generally female?), The Lynx did so differently. Cleovara is a manifestation of the collective consciousness of the Lynx race.
Slaanesh is a manifestation of negative emotion. There's a lot of difference there.

Lynx tech is different to Eldar. For one, much of their technology is based upon the energy radiated from the crystal that grows on psychic Lynx planets. The energy, not the crystal itself. The energy given off by these crystals is so unreal it's more like another form of energy. It seems to have a limited capacity for fuelling psychic powers, but this particular energy conversion is only 10% efficient or so. So instead, the Lynx have developed machines and/or psychic constructs (some are a mixture of both) that are better at this particular energy conversion or use the energy as fuel to do work (its more effective than either psychic or nuclear power, even better than a plasma reactor) or use it as a potent and deadly weapon. They use the crystal as ammunition and armour simply because it's plentiful. Nothing more. Would you use up a non-renewable resource that isn't as strong, flexible or versatile as another renewable resource to make your technology? I certainly wouldn't.

The two races' military are different. The Eldar are typically conservative of their forces and their resources, whereas Lynx are typically more bold and daring as they are a growing race and can afford to take such risks. The two fight differently. Again, the Eldar are conservative and prefer lightning strikes, where Lynx may try an all-out offensive using sheer power.

Society is not similar. The Lynx do have a caste system. but it is not similar enough to the Tau's to be classed as an exact copy. A Lynx is born into a particular class, and is often encouraged to follow this caste's ways. They don't have to, though.

Lynx have never tried to exploit everything they are capable of doing. 'Nuff said.

And you call this "exactly the same"? Try thinking about these guys without a stubborn, completely set mind and look at the differences! This race has the potential to be great following this path, but you don't seem to see that, whilst everyone else seems to think along the same lines.

It's still a semi-communist society, as you said early they treat each other all equals and employ some form of Caste system, fuss you are twisting my words. Not pure communists, but going into kind of situation.

I never said they were exactly the same as the Tau, though they do bare similarities, I noted the fact you'd made them friends, which generally isn't good, nor is the connection to the incredibly secret Harlequins, which is really unneeded, along with the whole Web-Way thing. The technology (Crystals and such) does bare similarities to the Eldar, the Dark Eldar use Crystals as ammunition and the Eldar also have Crystal constructs, the entire Crystal thing should again, just be avoided.

The Goddess is quite similar to the Eldar's Laughing God, who takes only the souls of those dedicated to him, or her. I would suggest the removal of the God aspect, it again, is quite similar to the Eldar. Also, the whole Eldar being "trolling douchebags" thing is due to their psychic nature, and I own two Cats, and I'll happily say several breeds of Cats and manipulative and pious, again bearing similarities to the Eldar.

When did I say the following?
*They looked the same
*They age the same
*They bear the same society
*Never claimed they had or will ever have an empire

Yes, calling it exactly the same is wrong, but, they are quite similar in several ways, and really, they don't have the potential yet, they are barely developed out of the cliche furry space animals zone. You are the one ignoring the advice and ideas given to you, or simply returning to the cat idea, which isn't even that good. Why does it have to be cats? It's somewhat comical and would fit far better into Warhammer fantasy.

TBH, I just can't see cats - I keep seeing the Brutes from Halo for some reason.

 Tadashi wrote:
TBH, I just can't see cats - I keep seeing the Brutes from Halo for some reason.

I think a Brute like-race would be quite good.

 blood reaper wrote:

 Tadashi wrote:
TBH, I just can't see cats - I keep seeing the Brutes from Halo for some reason.

I think a Brute like-race would be quite good.

Orks seem close enough...

 Tadashi wrote:

 blood reaper wrote:

 Tadashi wrote:
TBH, I just can't see cats - I keep seeing the Brutes from Halo for some reason.

I think a Brute like-race would be quite good.

Orks seem close enough...

So it's Wargs in space or Cats in space......

 blood reaper wrote:

 Tadashi wrote:

 blood reaper wrote:

 Tadashi wrote:
TBH, I just can't see cats - I keep seeing the Brutes from Halo for some reason.

I think a Brute like-race would be quite good.

Orks seem close enough...

So it's Wargs in space or Cats in space......

Meh...it all ends the same way: getting reduced to smoking and bloody corpses by Imperials...made into slaves and sacrifices to the Powers of Chaos...'culled' by the Eldar...enslaved by Dark Eldar...butchered by Orks...'enlightened' by the Tau...killed by the Necrons. Cheers.

Those crystals just turned into Mary Sue 40k replicas of Warpstone from the Skaven.

Mynameisalie, you should really just get rid of the crystals.

Nah, bro. Crystals are super special.

I can't really. I'll change them to a metallic substance, but they honestly do need to stay in some particular form. Now, if you guys have a much better way of changing them without completely removing them, by all means, I'm free. I'm just not sure what to do with them otherwise. I had a lot of stuff based on this crystal, but I won't mind if it's metal instead. It's same difference. I had the Goddess, their entire technological tree and part of their religion relying on them.

Implants.

Actually I was thinking more along the lines of an energy-reactive silver that is likened to a battery, but much more effective than, say, a normal lithium ion battery.
But using it for implants would be perfectly fine.

It seems original, save for maybe necrodermis. They two are slightly alike, I'm not too sure.
And I thought I'd mention my friend is also making a 40k army too. Base line, lizard men 40k. Who doesn't like lizard men? And it's actually decent. He hasn't told me much, but 'll pass on new news.

Battery powered psychic powers?

 Mynameisalie wrote:
It seems original, save for maybe necrodermis. They two are slightly alike, I'm not too sure.
And I thought I'd mention my friend is also making a 40k army too. Base line, lizard men 40k. Who doesn't like lizard men? And it's actually decent. He hasn't told me much, but 'll pass on new news.

Slaan were in the older editions of 40K, it's not really original considering the creators of most life in 40k were called the Old Ones.

 liquidjoshi wrote:
Battery powered psychic powers?

It's not electrical energy ir chemical obviously, more... Let's say atomic. More atomic. But I did give it a new name. Sub-energy. Very rare and hard to get, even harder to use, but very potent if used correctly. If you happen to mess up, well...

 blood reaper wrote:

 Mynameisalie wrote:
It seems original, save for maybe necrodermis. They two are slightly alike, I'm not too sure.
And I thought I'd mention my friend is also making a 40k army too. Base line, lizard men 40k. Who doesn't like lizard men? And it's actually decent. He hasn't told me much, but 'll pass on new news.

Slaan were in the older editions of 40K, it's not really original considering the creators of most life in 40k were called the Old Ones.

Oh yeah... Old ones were reptilian, weren't they?
Ah well. It seemed a nice idea. I'd be willing to play against them. I gave him the list of question Demetri gave me, so at least he can work on those.

 Mynameisalie wrote:

 blood reaper wrote:

 Mynameisalie wrote:
It seems original, save for maybe necrodermis. They two are slightly alike, I'm not too sure.
And I thought I'd mention my friend is also making a 40k army too. Base line, lizard men 40k. Who doesn't like lizard men? And it's actually decent. He hasn't told me much, but 'll pass on new news.

Slaan were in the older editions of 40K, it's not really original considering the creators of most life in 40k were called the Old Ones.

Oh yeah... Old ones were reptilian, weren't they?
Ah well. It seemed a nice idea. I'd be willing to play against them. I gave him the list of question Demetri gave me, so at least he can work on those.

He might as well just play a Slann army, they are quite a cool race.

 blood reaper wrote:

 Mynameisalie wrote:

 blood reaper wrote:

 Mynameisalie wrote:
It seems original, save for maybe necrodermis. They two are slightly alike, I'm not too sure.
And I thought I'd mention my friend is also making a 40k army too. Base line, lizard men 40k. Who doesn't like lizard men? And it's actually decent. He hasn't told me much, but 'll pass on new news.

Slaan were in the older editions of 40K, it's not really original considering the creators of most life in 40k were called the Old Ones.

Oh yeah... Old ones were reptilian, weren't they?
Ah well. It seemed a nice idea. I'd be willing to play against them. I gave him the list of question Demetri gave me, so at least he can work on those.

He might as well just play a Slann army, they are quite a cool race.

‘Hey, I hope you don't mind that I'm using a first ed army‘

So it's just battery powered Psykers?

Guess the Eldar use Duracell Ultra.

 thenoobbomb wrote:

 blood reaper wrote:

 Mynameisalie wrote:

 blood reaper wrote:

 Mynameisalie wrote:
It seems original, save for maybe necrodermis. They two are slightly alike, I'm not too sure.
And I thought I'd mention my friend is also making a 40k army too. Base line, lizard men 40k. Who doesn't like lizard men? And it's actually decent. He hasn't told me much, but 'll pass on new news.

Slaan were in the older editions of 40K, it's not really original considering the creators of most life in 40k were called the Old Ones.

Oh yeah... Old ones were reptilian, weren't they?
Ah well. It seemed a nice idea. I'd be willing to play against them. I gave him the list of question Demetri gave me, so at least he can work on those.

He might as well just play a Slann army, they are quite a cool race.

‘Hey, I hope you don't mind that I'm using a first ed army‘

I mean as count as.

I really have no idea how a 1st edition army would work in 6th....

 liquidjoshi wrote:
So it's just battery powered Psykers?

Guess the Eldar use Duracell Ultra.

Lol. Ok, more seriously, obviously the Lynx use their own energy to fuel their psychic powers. However, them being such potent psykers, and the fact they use them unconsciously all the time would mean they'd burn themselves out after a short while. So, this silver does three things:
It is used as a supply of energy that can keep a Lynx alive. As it's got a very energy capacity, it will easily last several months before needing a recharge (these are the personal implants).
Also contains Cleovara, the deity. She isn't a proper Goddess, due to the fact she was not born of the Warp. Instead, like I said earlier, she was born of the collective "souls" of the Lynx race.
It looks nice. And it grows back, through a process of the energy inside "decaying" into matter.

Wait, that makes no sense. Psykers use the warp. They can't be psykers if they are powering themselves can they? The very fact that they power their own psychic energies means that they are immune to the Perils of the Warp, right?

Messed that part up.
So psykers use energy gleaned from the Warp. However, they can't get this energy fast enough due to the "leash" put on them by Cleovara. It inhibits how much energy they can take at any given time. So, they use these silvite "batteries" to compensate.

 Azariah Kyras wrote:
Wait, that makes no sense. Psykers use the warp. They can't be psykers if they are powering themselves can they? The very fact that they power their own psychic energies means that they are immune to the Perils of the Warp, right?

Latent psychic powers (Orks) don't draw their power from the Warp.

Good point. However, I would prefer these guys sticking to battery power and Warp energy lol.

And I think I might give you guys some biography. Later. As a taster: they're Cleovara's greatest plan. She wants to destroy the Chaos Gods, send them back into oblivion where the Galaxy can be plagued no more. She has harboured this dislike for many millennia, her dislike festering into hate, then loathing.

As a solution, she created 4 of what she named "Spirits", each attuned to a particular Chaos God. Each Spirit was designed to be a direct counter to the corresponding Chaos God, but left the host weak to that God's opposite. Hence, the host of the Life Spirit was incredibly powerful against the daemons of Nurgle, but left it weak to the predations of Tzeentch.

The 4 hosts currently make themselves little known, save for the most dire of circumstances where their help is required.

In B4 Sue Gods.

 Mynameisalie wrote:
And I think I might give you guys some biography. Later. As a taster: they're Cleovara's greatest plan. She wants to destroy the Chaos Gods, send them back into oblivion where the Galaxy can be plagued no more. She has harboured this dislike for many millennia, her dislike festering into hate, then loathing.

As a solution, she created 4 of what she named "Spirits", each attuned to a particular Chaos God. Each Spirit was designed to be a direct counter to the corresponding Chaos God, but left the host weak to that God's opposite. Hence, the host of the Life Spirit was incredibly powerful against the daemons of Nurgle, but left it weak to the predations of Tzeentch.

The 4 hosts currently make themselves little known, save for the most dire of circumstances where their help is required.

It won't happen.

The idea of destroying the Chaos Gods is far too much like the 3rd edition Necrons, but it doesn't make sense. since this good wants life which even when not corrupted is food to the Chaos Gods. It requires the death of all life that are psykers, including your race.

Especially his race, seeing as it's so super psychic.

Not actually killing them. As far as I understand it, you can "shatter" a God's consciousness, seeing how Khaine was splintered apart. Obviously the 4 are nowhere near strong enough to overpower a God (a rather naive idea in its own), that's what Cleovara wants. To make sure the Big 4 can't interfere with what she has planned with the Galaxy. Of course, it's going to take an incredibly long time, and pretty much the backing of at least 3 other races working as a whole to even come close to being able to break the Big 4,

You can use these Characters in game, but they're at least 600 points each and can only be fielded in 2000+ point games, to represent the Lynx's need for them. And you can only ever have 2 at a time, to prevent complete Mary Sue annihilation. Sure these characters are powerful, but having 4 is just plain unfair. They'd break a Warhound pretty quickly as a 4.

 liquidjoshi wrote:
In B4 Sue Gods.

What?

 Mynameisalie wrote:
Not actually killing them. As far as I understand it, you can "shatter" a God's consciousness, seeing how Khaine was splintered apart. Obviously the 4 are nowhere near strong enough to overpower a God (a rather naive idea in its own), that's what Cleovara wants. To make sure the Big 4 can't interfere with what she has planned with the Galaxy. Of course, it's going to take an incredibly long time, and pretty much the backing of at least 3 other races working as a whole to even come close to being able to break the Big 4,

You can use these Characters in game, but they're at least 600 points each and can only be fielded in 2000+ point games, to represent the Lynx's need for them. And you can only ever have 2 at a time, to prevent complete Mary Sue annihilation. Sure these characters are powerful, but having 4 is just plain unfair. They'd break a Warhound pretty quickly as a 4.

The Eldar Gods are completely diffirent to the Chaos Gods, your concept is flawed. Cleovara herself, serves chaos in her quest for destruction.

Back to the drawing board.

Your idea also reeks of Mary Sue.

I can just have them anti-daemonic instead.
I still don't get the Chaos Gods in their entirety. They're really hard to get my head round. As far as I understand it, ta Chaos God is generally an entity born of the Warp. It forms through an abundance of a particular emotion, say suffering in Slaanesh's case. Through this power, the entity becomes sentient and is able to think much like a human could (I could use any example here, but humans seem the best comparison). Gods can siphon off a tiny part of their consciousness to create a Daemon, a lesser Warp entity. They can come in different shapes, sizes and power spectrums, but mostly they are comparatively weak.

This is as much as I understand. Am I almost correct? I need a second opinion.

And what are the differences between an Eldar and a Chaos God? Any things in particular?

Ok, Blood, I'll go back a few steps. It was a stupid idea in the first place. The Goddess is still involved, though. Don't count that out.

 Mynameisalie wrote:
I can just have them anti-daemonic instead.
I still don't get the Chaos Gods in their entirety. They're really hard to get my head round. As far as I understand it, ta Chaos God is generally an entity born of the Warp. It forms through an abundance of a particular emotion, say suffering in Slaanesh's case. Through this power, the entity becomes sentient and is able to think much like a human could (I could use any example here, but humans seem the best comparison). Gods can siphon off a tiny part of their consciousness to create a Daemon, a lesser Warp entity. They can come in different shapes, sizes and power spectrums, but mostly they are comparatively weak.

This is as much as I understand. Am I almost correct? I need a second opinion.

And what are the differences between an Eldar and a Chaos God? Any things in particular?

Ok, Blood, I'll go back a few steps. It was a stupid idea in the first place. The Goddess is still involved, though. Don't count that out.

Cut the anti-Chaos theme, it's been used by another two codex's of psykers (Eldar&Grey Knghts). It's boring and altogether poorly thought out, thought I'd suggest going right back to the start, because, these are just Eldar.

Shall I refer back to that exceedingly long boring post about the comparisons again?

 Mynameisalie wrote:
Shall I refer back to that exceedingly long boring post about the comparisons again?

You mean the one that showed you obviously didn't understand what I meant by copy of Eldar?

Fully Psychic Race
God
Hates Chaos
Odd allies with others (hard to explain)
Webway
Uses psychic trinkets


Their basis shares far too many similarities to that of the Eldar.

Correction.
Eldar.
Fully psychic
Gods
Hates chaos
Webway
Use psychic trinkets.
Lynx.
Half psychic race.
God
Hates Chaos
No Webway of their own.
Use implants made of silvite.
Differences? Quite a few.
Next time you post, take itno full consideration the extent of how this race has changed in the past week.

 Mynameisalie wrote:
Correction.
Eldar.
Fully psychic
Gods
Hates chaos
Webway
Use psychic trinkets.
Lynx.
Half psychic race.
God
Hates Chaos
No Webway of their own.
Use implants made of silvite.
Differences? Quite a few.
Next time you post, take itno full consideration the extent of how this race has changed in the past week.

Half psychic, it's still a massive amount of the race, they still use the web-way, the implants are psychic trinkets.

So no real differences?

Under half, to be more exact. More like 2/5.

Look, mate. We will go round this all week, and I'll still be adamant that the changes are sufficient to make the race different to the Eldar as to not become a counts as.

 Mynameisalie wrote:
Under half, to be more exact. More like 2/5.

Just to back go the start, please, the current state of the race is just a bad mix of Tau, Imperials, Eldar and Thunder Cats.

No. A firm and unyielding no.

 Mynameisalie wrote:
No. A firm and unyielding no.

Then I bet you my right eye the projects going to go down faster than a led weight in water.

Is it?
That's your view.
And I just want you to think about this for a minute.
Humans: taken.
Undead robots: taken.
Daemons: taken.
Space Dwarves: don't exist.
Chaos: nope, taken.
Aliens with advanced technology: denied.
Fully psychic race: Erm, taken I believe.
Race of pleasure seekers: Dark Eldar, perhaps?
Extra-galactic aliens: oh, finally. An opening! Oh wait, those are Tyranids.
Genetically engineered humans: Spess Mahreens.
Wolves: Yup. Taken.
Do you see a pattern? Cause I certainly do.

 Mynameisalie wrote:
Is it?
That's your view.
And I just want you to think about this for a minute.
Humans: taken.
Undead robots: taken.
Daemons: taken.
Space Dwarves: don't exist.
Chaos: nope, taken.
Aliens with advanced technology: denied.
Fully psychic race: Erm, taken I believe.
Race of pleasure seekers: Dark Eldar, perhaps?
Extra-galactic aliens: oh, finally. An opening! Oh wait, those are Tyranids.
Genetically engineered humans: Spess Mahreens.
Wolves: Yup. Taken.
Do you see a pattern? Cause I certainly do.

Yes, there is no room for more races.

And you say there isn't room for another? One that does not fit the criteria above?
Another patter:
Communism. Communism everywhere.

Yes. There aren't really any open spots for a main race anymore.

Sorry, but I'm with Reaper on this one. Too many similarities with Eldar.

Large proportion of Psykers? Check.
War With Daemons? Check.
Hates Chaos? Check.
Gods openly oppose the "Big four", but are powerless to oppose them on a large scale? Check.
Psychic trinkets that are utterly vital to their psychic use? Double check.
Speed over strength and armour? Yup, check.
Aspect, caste, or other divisional system for specialising roles within society? Oh yeah, it's there.
Odd alliances (seriously, these utterly Xenos cat people worship the Emperor? For no apparent reason? Buddies with the Harlies, who they happened to "find" in the Webway?) Yup. It's there.

Dude, just play them as counts as Eldar. Seriously, just do that. You're already halfway there.

No.
I.
HATE.
ELDAR.
I will literally do this solo instead.
Actually, yes, I'll do it solo. Thanks for the help guys, I'll get back to you in 3 months or so.

 Mynameisalie wrote:
No.
I.
HATE.
ELDAR.
I will literally do this solo instead.
Actually, yes, I'll do it solo. Thanks for the help guys, I'll get back to you in 3 months or so.

3 months later;

"Guys, I made my race even better! Here's the title!"

Codex: Eldar

And my point is proven.

 Mynameisalie wrote:
And my point is proven.

Your race is Eldar but with Cat face?

Dude, I'm really not one for shooting down people's ideas. You know I've contributed to this thread with ideas. We gave you good ideas, ideas you could work with, to make a good book.

But seriously, the direction you're following isn't a good one. It's flawed, doesn't fit the fluff well at all, and smacks of the same OTT Mary-Sue rubbish that's been posted ten thousand times before, by other people with other ideas.

You've made progress. Good progress. But you're not there yet. You evidently want help, and your persistence is to be admired. But seriously, carrying on in this vein is a bad idea.

Write it like this if it will make you happy. But don't expect everyone else to like it - don't expect anyone else to like it. Because we've seen it all a thousand times before, and the outcome is always the same.

No, you're a troll.
Thank you for your co-operation.
Sorry joshi, blood not you.

Alie, to a point, he's right.

And you might be surprised what I can turn it into. You never know. Where others fail, one will make a breakthrough.

Now. I'm sorry, but I have to go. It's 11 pm over here and I have school.

 Mynameisalie wrote:
And you might be surprised what I can turn it into. You never know. Where others fail, one will make a breakthrough.

You've done far worse than others, you refuse criticism and are far to monolithic to change.

I'm with Reaper. Again. You've done ok-ish. But not exactly brilliantly.

If this open warfare continues I feel a lock coming..

Dude, lock's been imminent for about five pages.

Have to say, I'm more than a little tempted to try and redeem this race somewhat.

 liquidjoshi wrote:
Dude, lock's been imminent for about five pages.

Have to say, I'm more than a little tempted to try and redeem this race somewhat.

The wild Wolf/beast in space idea seemed OK, it could work with some effort I imagine.

Well, If you see a Lynx thread with my name on the OP, you'll know what to expect.

 liquidjoshi wrote:
Well, If you see a Lynx thread with my name on the OP, you'll know what to expect.

Cool.

It could be a small race, part of a Codex: Allies I'd say.

Yes. Not big enough to have it's own codex really.

EDIT: Dis post may be interpreted as rude, as I'm preemptively giving myself a warning. Apologies to anyone offended.

I've already said this:

Just let me complete the codex first. Then I can make changes after. Most of it is not even written yet, and you guys aren't going to get what this race is like until I have it done. So be patient. Let's just leave this thread alone for a while, and I'll post when I've finished it.

Deal?

Wait, so you're refusing to accept new ideas until after you've already written the Codex?

Brainstorming comes first, writing second traditionally.

Since when have I displayed even the remotest interest in writing tradition?

Just be patient. I have taken into account pretty much everything on pages 4-8, which is mainly where the actual discussion was going on.

I wil get the full fluff out, possibly with some bestiaries and maybe the Wargear section, if I can be bothered to write it at the moment.

 Mynameisalie wrote:
Since when have I displayed even the remotest interest in writing tradition?

Is that supposed to be a serious answer?

In my honest opinion, you are rather stubborn. Both Josie and LL along with everybody else, like Demetrius and even Reaper with his edging criticism, are giving you exactly what you wanted. Feedback.

Feedback is not always nice. Feedback is not: I agree with you and I think you have done an awesome job on everything. Feedback most of the times is cruel. So take the suggestions, think about them and decide. The fact that someone disagrees with you does not mean that he/she thinks that your work so far is trash.

I see plenty of people here spending their time reading your work and commenting on it. If they have thought there was no potential in it or if it was trash they would never even comment it.

Now that I am done with that.

The looks, the history and everything is pretty good. But, reaper is right that they do like a lot like Eldar. So you have to start throwing things out if you don't want them to be like Eldar.

Examples:
The whole tribal race sound very nice, at least to me. Keep it. mix it with wanderlust and a small fleet after their destruction of their world by the forces of chaos. Now add that the ruling class is actually fooled by a daemon of Tzeentch who pretends to be a benign entity and slowly corrupts them; and there you go have some grimdark.

This way:
- explains the goddess that you are so keen about
- keep the chaos hate that you want with a little twist on the side
- explains the psychic abilities without crystals/jewels etc
- makes them a small race fighting to survive

Now for their OOT attributes I think you have some pretty solid ideas from the rest of the posts.

Personally i think this could work but you need to be a bit more open minded. There are no other major players in the Warhammer 40k Universe. But you can definitely make a small player with an impact

Just my 0.02 $

 Mynameisalie wrote:
Since when have I displayed even the remotest interest in writing tradition?

Just be patient.

Be patient?

We've been patient, you haven't. You think your ready to start the race off now, but you aren't, you've started a race that needs massive changes, and has no real place in 40K at the moment.

Bobakos, thank you. I just want to point out the race isn't entirely psychic. Thank Joshi for that.

And I just thought I'd mention this. At the back of the codex there will be an acknowledgement section for everybody who contributed to the codex in a major way. So far I have:
Demetri
LoneLictor
Bobakos
Joshi
Reaper
P.M. Me if you think you have made several contributions and should go on the list. To everyone who is already on there, you have been a great help and whilst we may have had disagreements, you certainly have changed this race for the better. My sincerest thanks to you!
Reaper, you too. Your blunt and utterly unstaunchable flow of criticism has given me great compassion to finish this codex

MUST FINISH TO ANNOY BLOOD REAPER

 thenoobbomb wrote:
MUST FINISH TO ANNOY BLOOD REAPER

You must copy and paste every post I have made and deliver money to my company for use of my name, and give praise to my glorious contributions to the codex.

I didn't know you had a sense of humour!
Don't worry, you'll get a spot. I saved one specially for you.

I want royalties. That's 100% of any profits made by the codex

If what you have told me is true about companies refusing to accept fan ideas (copyright, etc), I don't think this codex will make anything.

...
That was a joke Alie.

I know. I made a simple counter-statement.
Damn, I can alienate myself sometimes.

It didn't require one. regardless, I may or may not release my own interpretation of this.

Try them out for Fantasy, by all means. You could remove the psyker aspect completely in that case.

Never been a fan of fantasy.