The beastman enters the room defecates then sets it on fire and begins chanting in the beast tongue to summon a greater Daemon.

really? is there any sane people here, a defecating beastmen, insane space marine, a purple dino, a girl who refuses to wear pants and a child who's just sad.

The naked Viking is the worst though, I shudder just thinking about his glorius naked behind

In the time of insanity, let the insane guide you!

So, then, I'm now in command and I demand that we slay IN THIS ORDER:

The Beastman! (Slay the mutant!)
The Carnosaur and Elf! (Slay the xenos!)
The Elf, again! (Slay the witch!)
The Slaaneshi Cultist (Slay the heretic!, Slay the traitor!)
Any Daemons that are in the room! (Destroy the daemon!)

*Grabs grenades in each hand*
Time to PARTAY!!!

*Throws grenades in every direction*

(gets in Zaku and stomps the Chaos Lord)

CUT. IT. OUT!

Wait, that's not a zaku, that's an Eva!
You just gave it extra armor plating!

You've been lying to us, little lady.

I call BS. Like hell I'm getting back into an EVA.

Look, it's urinating LCL over that space marine!

Coolant leak! Everyone out! The reactor's gonna blow!

RARGH SLAANESH HERETIC!

Changing the order, kill the heretic and traitor first, then the mutant!

For the Emperor!

The Beastman's horned skull explodes into blood and brains. It kicks its hoof in a death throe.


"RAGBARLGGRRRRRRRRRR" More Gors enter the room and begin to feast upon the remains of their fallen brother, one taking whats left of his horns for himself.

Oooooh, mutants, *blam*

I changed my mind, Emperor dammit!

Heretics and Traitors first, mutants second. Got it?

Now then, Emperor protect us!

*charges in trying to kill the heretic by strapping melta bombs to her mech's legs*

(takes off before you can so)

No, I don't think so.

*Acquires a jump pack*

You can't escape me now! I shall bring the Emperor's light to your soul!

Bring it!

(opens fire with a machine cannon)

*Passes all 4++ saves required*
*Assaults*
*Places Melta Bomb*
*Wounds*

I brought the pain! (and the Emperor's light)

(passes the invulnerable save and preps a nuclear rocket launcher)

My turn!

You can't shoot into combat, silly, especially when you're part of it!

See? It's in the rules right here!

I dare say this is turning out to be quite fun! Nakedness and Beastmen! How much better can it get *If only that marine would get naked to.....*

Never!

Well you did not say that last nigth.....

Last night? What are you talking about?

(leaves to get a drink)

Ugh...get a room you two.

Oh dont pretend you dont remember...Oh wait the drug I slipped into your system must have knocked you out cold. And do join us madam, cake and monopoly will be had

No thanks. Feel free to enjoy each others' company though.

Aw well I will even put on cloths if it helps you change your mind. And I also promise to just mix wierd subatsancecs into my own tea

Don't leave me with him/it/her, please! I beg you in the Emperor's name!

I'll.. I'll even stop calling you a traitor and heretic and let you get along with your life without me trying to kill you, just PLEASE!

 Matt.Kingsley wrote:
Don't leave me with him/it/her, please! I beg you in the Emperor's name!

I'll.. I'll even stop calling you a traitor and heretic and let you get along with your life without me trying to kill you, just PLEASE!

Well then......Now that order is restored and the marine traumatized for life my work is complet. Now to remember to say thank you to Slaanesh for borrowing me that powerd Oh and dont worry, I am always gentel

Well then......Now that order is restored and the marine traumatized for life my work is complet. Now to remember to say thank you to Slaanesh for borrowing me that powerd Oh and dont worry, I am always gentel

Sadly for you, I am not gentle, nor am I sane. *Pulls out a bolt pistol, then rips off the arm with the bolt pistol and points both at you.* En Garde!

Thank you, guardsman.
Now, then, let me regain my composure before you do much else, I also want to bring the Emperor's grace to this depraved sod.

(walks in with a coffee mug and takes in the scene)

Things have changed around here.

(looks at coffee, frowns, throws it away and walks off muttering to self)

What is that strange thing you are wearing over your gasmask?

And for that matter, why is your greatcoat not covering all of your body? You want to die from the radiations?

No worries, this 'pancake' is a relic from the Dark Age. It does all those things and more! AND it's edible!

 Bobthehero wrote:
What is that strange thing you are wearing over your gasmask?

And for that matter, why is your greatcoat not covering all of your body? You want to die from the radiations?

For the first, that's my custom War Mech from the Dark Age of Technology. As to your second, I'm wearing an ace's custom dress uniform.

You have a mech, on your gasmask, okay.

As for the second answer, well its your death, don't come and ask for a spare greatcoat when your hair fall off and your insides melt off.

It's just a dress uniform. In any case, the Tech Magi in charge of the War Mechs give us inoculations against potential radiation leaks from the mechs' plasma reactor.

Your clothing is indeed impractical.

And heretical.
And traitorous.

Purge?

I'm so tempted to but the last few times have ended in failure.

Still... worth a shot
*Grabs Flamer*
Purge it with fire!

Do mind you don't hit me.

It will only hit you if the Emperor demands it, I assure you.

Ah, that's pretty good.

Says a Sorcerer and a Chaos Lord. If it weren't for the fact I'd have to pay for damages, I'm tempted to call in an orbital strike here and now.

But you're a heretic!

Nope, I'm Imperial Navy

I'll take you to the Rock!
Dressing around like that is heresy, and must have something to do about heretics that totally are not from my Legion at all!

No.

Yes it is! I'm an Interrogator Chaplain of the First Legion, the Honoured Sons of the Lion, who have totally not been betrayed by half of their Legion at the end of the Horus Heresy, and we most certainly don't do secrets!
Now die, heretic!


I need to call in the other Marines.

Yes, I know that already, so what's your point?

Just assuring you, so you don't get any silly ideas.

Anyways, considering you have been deemed unclean, please follow me to the Interrogation Chambers..

You will not be gassed upon entering.
You will be tortu... I mean tested after a short wait.

I will call some more of our Adeptus Astartes brethren to this room. It is rank with the stench of heretic, traitor, mutant daemon, xenos and witch alike!

Repent your sins, and we will not have to act that hard!

Should I call the (Spanish) Inquisition?

Oh shut it, the two of you. The game's on.

(turns the TV on)

Yeah, great job, heretic.
Now you're getting the Ravenwing and the Deathwing to your location.
*tv switches channel, to show some Imperial Propaganda*
Why were you not watching the rightious tv network? Huh? And why are you located in a Tau zone!?

Now then, be a good little traitor and walk into the Interrogation Chambers

Yes, that's where we torture heretics and question them. Obviously, those are not from our Legion.

Idiot; it's the Tau Demilitarized Zone. Emperor knows what the Ordo Xenos and the Adeptus Mechanicus are doing on the surface. And why did you change the show? The Imperial Football Championship Finals between the Caliban Lions and the Fenris Wolves was about to start! I have 150,000 credits on the Wolves winning this cycle's championship!

That stuff is god-awful.
Imperial propaganda is much more entertaining!

Up next is...Adepta Sororitas Lingerie Pageant? Wait...they wear lingerie?

You were betting on Fenris instead of Caliban?!
HERETIC!

(a Space Wolves Rhino smashes through a wall)

Oh, it seems my friends are here.

(Space Wolves wearing beer hats and carrying a roasted boar charge into the living room)

GO FENRIS!

*Grabs a powered newspaper*

Get outta here, ya mutts!

BOO!!! PARTY POOPER!!!

(throws bones and empty beer cans along with the Wolves)

Well, you know how it goes.
Dark Angels usually beat the Wolves.

(Space Wolves slowly stand up drawing Bolters and Chainswords)

I hope for your sake that you did not just say what I thought I heard you say

Bah, everyone knows Orks beat everyone.

Heretics! All of you! Even the Wolves! How dare they draw their weapons!

Says the one wearing a dress

You called?

You dare question the First Legion?!

No sir.

Please don't hurt me...

Good..
Good.

And you do not question our loyalty?!

No sir.

Good, you may leave without being tortured and then executed!

Hey sparkle marine, must be cold in that dress

Actually, wearing a dress is strangely liberating. My legs feel nice and cool.

Silence wench! Was not asking you, now go get me some mead before I spank you

Yes sir.

You do realize I am male, sir?

Everyone knows the Space Wolves are too hairy for their own good...

Maid, sweep he floor when your done, they're shedding like mad.

Now then,
*pulls out Relic Chainsword and Master-Crafted Bolt Pistol*
We all need to settle down otherwise I may have to spill the blood of my brothers...

I mustn't run away...I mustn't run away...

Sigh...Yes sir...

Where is Kaworu when I need him?

Smeared on the palm of an Eva unit?


...

What, you did ask!

Now I always warned him against things like that, and beside. Its good with a bit more room in here, Because I need room for my mead kegg!

Mead kegg! Can I have some? It's in my death wish to drink Spessmarine Mead!

Why yes you can have some! Just dont share with that Dark Angel

I don't need to get drunk anyways.

No suprise there, nobody likes you after the lies you told us all in the Horus Heresy! But if you ever change your mind let me know, I will save a cold one for you

What lies? We don't do those, Burner of Libraries.

Shinji! What the hell are you doing here? And why are you wearing a dress?

Why are you?

Good question.

(opens a can of beer and takes a drink while watching news on the Imperial News Network)

Bird wants to watch looney tunes. *changes channel and flutters down on the sofa*
(Thus begineth the TV war)

 Admiral Valerian wrote:
Shinji! What the hell are you doing here? And why are you wearing a dress?

Like the one about half your legion going all Chaosifed and generaly making a mess of things. And dont tell me you never picked on the nerds with their stacks of books, beside looting and burning is good fun

I'm surprised the Inquisition hasn't come a-knocking over that first part.

(changes the channel back to the Imperial News Network with a special over the increased Guard and Navy deployment to the Tau DMZ)

I dunno how those dudes roll, they are a hit or miss most of the times you know. Maybe they got lost in the warp?

Maybe...or they got into some kind of 'accident'. There are all sorts of horror stories in Naval bars and hostels about ships getting 'accidents' if they get too close to The Rock or to Caliban.

You mean like blow to bitzs?

Oh dear.

Someone hold me.

Uh you know I really dont feel like it, but you can cuddle my wolf totem

OK...

*Clings tightly to wolf totem for protection and companionship*

(OOC: I think I may be too much of an uke for my own good)

*Nods in approval as the dress wearing one cuddels the totem that he once wore around his neck.

Have faith in the emperor and you will prevail human!

I'm watching you...

Iranna.

Oh.

Please don't hurt me.

*confiscates wolf totem

There is far too much cute here.

Quiet.

(nurses hangover...and drinks some more)

*quietly slips something in the dear admiral's drink

I saw that. BTW, can someone tell a quotation/where I can find a quotation about Chaos and the Warp being one and the same? Some dumbass punk is being annoying.

My God! What is going on here!

Um...we're being our avatar selves?

*Bird changes channel once moar*


"Oo! The amazing world of Gumball!"

Oh no. A pigeon.

(OOC: Admiral, what is your avatar supposed to be?)

 Squigsquasher wrote:
Oh no. A pigeon.

(OOC: Admiral, what is your avatar supposed to be?)

It's a cross between Gundam and NGE. That young lady right there is what Asuka would be like if she was in Gundam.

Oh no...

Please, Asuka, your omnipotence, have mercy!

Why hello there purple Carnosaur! Care for some pizza?

 CthuluIsSpy wrote:

 Squigsquasher wrote:
Oh no. A pigeon.

(OOC: Admiral, what is your avatar supposed to be?)

It's a cross between Gundam and NGE. That young lady right there is what Asuka would be like if she was in Gundam.

Pretty much this. Char went and became the Second Child in NGE (so sorry for Shinji and Co...well not really) while Asuka became the Red Comet in MSG.

Ma'am, do you know how fast you were flying that mech?

You were going Mach 3, in a Mach 2 flight zone.

I'm going to have to ask you to step out of the mech, and present some ID.

Oi! You'z got a pattycake on yur 'ead.

Are you goin ta finish it?

 Guardsmen Bob wrote:
Ma'am, do you know how fast you were flying that mech?

You were going Mach 3, in a Mach 2 flight zone.

I'm going to have to ask you to step out of the mech, and present some ID.

Direct all complaints to Admiral Zabi's office.

Yeah, you tell him!

[/beatdownavoidance]

*All eyes shift to squigsquasher

Now that no one is paying attention to me...

*immediately starts twerking*

I'm still here...

(Avatar changed)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

Oh, hello there! Can I help you?

 jaggedjaw wrote:
I'm still here...

No you are not here, its all in your imagination

Or a dream.

Did I ever tell you about dreams? 'Coz I'm in one.

Now where was I? Oh yeah, that was it.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I often dream about you too my cuddly Trygon

I am not a Trygon. I am Uboa.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

(OOC: He's from Yume Nikki. Look it up.)

I'm not going to cuddle anyone you peasant!

Neither will I, for that matter.

Damnit I hate early mornings, anyone up for a cup of coffe?

Sure...I'd like a double-shot expresso please.

A what?

A Double shot espresso, like she wants it fired from a doubled barraled shotgun

While you're at it, get me a latte with a shot of nightmare and a ginger biscuit.

from a shotgun?

No, from a cup preferably. Or a skull.

I only have a shotgun....

Meh, I'll eat that.

*Accidentally teleports shotgun to creepy alternate dimension*

Oops.

Why is there a shotgun in my pants?!

...THAT'S where I kept sending people?!?!?

Madotsuki, I am so, so sorry.

Anyway, my latte...

I'm not a latte.

Yeah, more like a nice little biscuit to spread some butter on.

I have some butter!

*pulls a bar of butter out of his pants.*

"You stole that from my ship."

"Arrrest that purple xeno and clap him in irons."

Understood, Fleet Master.

(summons naval armsmen)

I still haven't got my latte with a shot of nightmares.

(arrives with uniform blackened in places and with bruises in some areas)

Sorry 'bout the mess, but I had to deal with some wannabe witch who thought she could stowaway on my ship.

(sits down on the couch and begins to watch Space Hulk Chronicles)

Oh dear. Who was that?

Asuka Langley Soryu.

Hold on...how do we know you aren't Asuka Langley Soryu? You look just like her. I'm watching you lady!

Huh? I am Asuka Langley Soryu. The witch who tried to jack a ride on my ship was some slut named Rin Tohsaka. Pretty sure the Inquisition would have wanted to question her, but considering how much trouble just subduing her was, I had her thrown out a damned airlock. Sorry...it seemed I misinterpreted the previous question.

Your story smacks of exposure to Heresy. I'm afraid I'll have to bring you into custody for some "research".

(rolls eyes)

Here, watch this.

(grabs a nearby bottle of holy water and drinks it with no difficulty whatsoever)

Satisfied? And in any case, the Commissariat had me undergo mind-sweep by a Sanctioned Psyker cadre upon arrival and found no abnormalities.

Yes, yes, but I still need more data, drink this holy martini and we can proceed.

I need to test for "physical" corruption.

(drinks the Martini to no ill effect)

Um...I'd rather have a doctor rather than you oversee the physical exam. I'm sure the Commissariat can oblige.

Why are you trying to get a 14 year old girl drunk?
Are you planning on eating her?

My Carnosaur brain is perplexed.

I'm gonna ask one more time...Where is my latte with a shot of nightmare and a ginger biscuit?

Back of the fridge. Just be sure not to touch the mutated ganymede rock lobster.

Thank you.

*Glug glug glug*

*Num num num!*

Ah...That's better.

あああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああ

No one expects the Spanish Inquisition!
Our chief weapon is surprise, fear and surprise; two chief weapons, fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency!
Er, among our chief weapons are: fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency, and near fanatical devotion to the Pope!

Um, I'll come in again...

*Walks out then i again*

No one expects the Spanish Inquisition!

Oh hey! I was expecting the inquisition to show up by now!

We must interrogate this beast... fetch the comfy chair!

On it my lords

(comes in from the kitchen dripping wet and holding a smoking Plasma Pistol)

Alright, who's the joker who put a Ganymede lobster in the fridge?

Would be quite interesting considering mine is just me, in animated form it seems.

Please let me go:
I'm not the comfy chair.

Has anybody seen my lobster?

He just ran off with The Soft Pillow.

Are you sure? As I recall I hit it with a plasma round dead center.

Had anyone seen my comfy chair?

I Steal all the comfy chairs and then sell on ebay for 4 times the price

That seems Profitable...

But I'm the one being sold.
The comfy chair gained sentience and is with the Brave Little Toaster.

That's your problem, isn't it? Oh well, I suppose you owe me a favor then.

(calls the Arbites and informs them about an illegal Human trafficking operation)

*throws on arbites costume

Now now, wots all this then!

I DIDNT DO IT *super suspicious*

(runs down the stairs in full combat gear)

Alright, why is an angry mob headed this way?

No, those are just my friends.

Oh really? Then why are they carrying pitchforks and torches?

(looks out the window with a pair of binocs)

Oh dear...they look really mad.

Would you like me to deal with them? I can send them away Like I can send away that scary Madotsuki girl.


あああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああ

Now they're setting up Taco Trucks and lawn chairs.

Whats going on?

Is that a siege? OOOoooh this trooper loves sieges.

Stop digging trenches in the living room!

Why? There is no better way to defend yourself while still beign at a high risk of dieing!

Please, lets make a den out of comfy chairs that can risk all comers!

I have returned.
The Wolf made a ridiculous sugestion about our Legion betraying the Imperium and all, so well. He's gone missing.
Do you all understand?

Not really, no. Did he forget to make a bread trail? I keep telling him to make one.

Now that I think of it, why are you people in my house?

We shall interrogate them all to find out!

Interrogator-Chaplain, your help is needed! Someone fetch the comfy chairs and the soft pillows!

Stop taking my comfy chairs. Poniko only has so much money to spend on them. Do you know how long furniature takes to arrive when you live on a frozen island in a pink sea in someone's twisted dreams? The shipping fees are astronomical!

Prepare the torture tools!
Also, its 00:27. Why am I not sleeping?

I have some friends who could help. Ever seen 'The Birds'?

It seems there is some fowl play going on. The game is afoot!

That sounds like something England would say.

Hey, Canada right? I need some Maple Syrup...the illegal kind...with extra sugar...

On it chief-pancake-sir.

 Guardsmen Bob wrote:
Hey, Canada right? I need some Maple Syrup...the illegal kind...with extra sugar...

What?

*sneaks away with a bottle under each arm

Nu-uh, nobody is leaving!

All the chaplainn wants is the qt3.14s!

Are you a heretic? You seem like a heretic, I bet you're a heretic.

*Fwoooosh*

Nope.

Just Uboa.

Have you seen Madotsuki anywhere?

Who the 'ell is that?

I don't know, but please stop looking at me.

It's 'cause your eyes are massive!

Not enough meat on you.

*Crashes into room on Ravenwing bike*
Guess who's back, hmm?
Prepare to be purged.

But I'm an Ursus maritimus from Terra.

A what?

I think he means a bear.

^^

We're sliding off topic

Hey, what are you looking at?

Your severed head.
Oops, I'm looking 5 minutes in the future again!

Still not enough meat on you.

You thought of eating me?
Heretic!

Hungry bellys care not for Heretics.....

Heretics shall be purged with fire!

Hey watch it. I'm not sure if this place has insurance.

The Emperor Protects.

He does indeed...but not from Administratum drones.

*turns on radio jammer

No drones gonna be droning me!

...

They aren't literal drones, you know.

Or are they?

We must interrogate to be sure! Fetch... the fluffy cushions!

the fluffy cushions of death and despair that my people tell tales of?

Maybe... no definitely.

Highly probable.

Possible.

Yes, maybe.

Did someone say interrogation?

NO DEFINITELY NOT! *whispers* dont make eye contact..... they can smell fear...

I smell heresy!

ohhhhhhhh it was the cushions that could smell fear... my mistake.... OH MY GOD RUN

Whoever runs is the heretic!
Stop, in the name of the Emperor and the Lion!
*throws Crozius Arcanum*

EVERYBODY RU *wet crunch*………………………………… im ok

No you are not.

thanks to slannesh my entire body is a mixture of cheez-whiz, hot cheetos, ranch sunflowerseeds, and peanutbutter captain crunch..... i am both delicious and immortal

I'm made of people's hopes and dreams.

Great! I love crushing hopes and dreams!

Go and clean out the gutter, peasant!

PEASANT???

I am the Intercessor you knave! For your insolence I sentence you to the Wrack. Reznik! I have a new friend for you!

Oh be gone evil cretin!

***AVATAR CHANGED***

I do not detect nearly enough heresy in this thread.

I demand there be MOAR!

*Pulls out bag full of bottles of gin, baggies of cocaine, and strap-ons*

Oh, boobs - I mean, heresy! Brothers, bring forth the promethium and Corvus Hammers!

Ooh, I like your thinking! I've always wanted to use Promethium as lubricant! And the things we could do with the hammers...


Mods, please do not bane me...This is Slaanesh we're talking about....

Ehh, you do know that Corvus Hammers are a hybrid of power hammers and picks?


Dem heresy is unbearable, it must be finished!

That's even better than I imagined!

Hammer sex for everyone!

Dat heresy.

I guess you'd enjoy my torture-tools and penetrating gaze too? Foul Daemon spawn!

+HERESY CONTAMINATION WARNING+

+Heresy has reached untenable levels+

+initiating auto-destruct in 10 posts+

+Authentication code 83N-34+

Silly Imperials, I can get off on anything!

I have only one weakness: heterosexual sex in the missionary position!

+auto-destruct in 9 posts+

Its a beast of 4Chan!

Now hang on a second. I may be the raw embodiment of depravity and freaky sex, but even I have standards.

+auto-destruct in 7 posts+

Let's start the countdown!

Hey watch it. If this thread gets locked I swear I'm going to track down a witch doctor and have him/her put curses on you people.

Why does that person remind me of France?
(O.O.C. I concur)

*slowly seeps out of grate in floor* I smell delicious heresy.... also timebombs

What the feth just came out of the grate? KILL IT WITH FLASHLIGHTS!

Flashlights? Please...(draws a Plasma Pistol)

THIS is a gun.

Teehee, its so tiny.

*takes out a hellgun* Wish that gun had the punch of your tiny weapon tho :(

Stand firm, guardsmen!

*is now out of grate* SO WHO WANTS DORITOS! *pulls bag out of chest*

I can breath!

(vaporizes the bag, chips and all with a well-aimed plasma round)

It speaks...witchcraft! Arbitrators! We have a witch on the loose!

Heresy!

Someone said heresy and madness?

Yes! There shall be heresy! And there shall be much rejoicing! And surprise buttsex!

+auto-destruct error+

+auto-destruct*$^#JF#(W28391hjd)3789-43020+

*dakka implodes and immediately reboots

Ah I see well dont let me get in your way folks. Il just stand over here with this totally turned of video camera and totally not film you all romping about

Ok, since you aren't filming.

*starts twerking*

PURGE!

Twerking dinosaurs?


Take me from behind, you magnificent bastard!

ITS OK I STILL HAVE DORITOS!

Oh dear.....This will end in a mess

Indeed.

(arrives with several Arbitrators)

(Arrives with several New Taco Bell Doritos Locos, and several Drinks all for $2.99 each).

*Arrives with the Deathwing*

Bleep Bloop Bleep Bloop Bleep Bloop Bleep Bloop Bleep Bloop Bleep Bloop Bleep Bloop Bleep Bloop Bleep Bloop Bleep Bloop Bleep Bloop Bleep Bloop Bleep Bloop Bleep Bloop Bleep Bloop Bleep Bloop Bleep Bloop Bleep Bloop Bleep Bloop Bleep Bloop Bleep Bloop Bleep Bloop Bleep Bloop Bleep Bloop Bleep Bloop Bleep Bloop Bleep Bloop Bleep Bloop Bleep Bloop Bleep Bloop Bleep Bloop Bleep Bloop Bleep Bloop Bleep Bloop Bleep Bloop Bleep Bloop Bleep Bloop Bleep Bloop Bleep Bloop Bleep Bloop Bleep Bloop

Hey, this Servitor's broken.

*Arrives with a bunch of lizardmen, who also start twerking*

Why yes, I am trying to ruin WHFB

*Arrives with band of Daemonettes*

Hey guys! We brought cucumbers!

Ah, I brought the Deathwing, along with Flails of the Unforgiven, and heavy flamers.

Did you say flails?

*Squees* Our behinds are all yours!

Well, they're made of adamantium, and are the bane of TRAIRORS, HERESY and WARPSPAWN.

TRAIRORS? Is this something new?

For us Dark Angels? Nah.
Traitors from our Legion don't exist though.

Adamantium? All the better!

Yes! You must give us all a good spanking!

I'm a sadist,

So no!

Even though it burns your skin away, and banishes your foul existence back to the Warp?

It's slaanesh. They like that stuff. The only way to beat them is to twerk. It's the go-to tactic of the Grey Knights.

I will banish them back to the Warp!
*starts wacking the dinosaur-thing with Flail of the Unforgiven*

Aww, don't let the dinosaur have all the fun...Our arses demand spanking!

IS THAT A NIPPLE?!

By the holy power of the (Spanish) Inquisition, we demand you all stop.

Now, on to interrogation... grab the ticklish feather!

I prefer Chinese water torture.

I prefer the noid.

Oh the horror I set loose upon the universe.....

I'm sure that the Wolves of Fenris can deal with any horror the universe can throw against us. Even more so than those folks on Titan.

I know but still, think about how much more time I am going to have spend cleaning my axe

Wait...the power field doesn't burn away the grime?

On the axe head yes, but not the handle

And that is why you shoot stuff and remain clean forever*



*The dirt coming from the trenches is natural camouflage, you aren't dirtying yourself!