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Granted. More PBR in your area, but it's just a bunch of Furries in Bull costumes running around with cowboys on their backs.

I wish I could stop laughing at the imagery of that.

Granted.You laugh that long until one of those furries runs over you.

I wish I had a dishwasher.

Granted. But she was ugly so you let her go.

I wish I was not sick.

Granted. You've transcended the physical plain through enlightenment and now sickness of any kind no longer holds any sway over you.(GWS )

I wish for a wind storm at the Presidential inauguration that blows Trump's massive comb-over into a straight-up position making him look like a Trollz doll for the duration of the event.

Granted. It's your job to make sure that doesn't happen, aand you fail miserably. Trump fires you in front of millions of viewers as his first official act as POTUS.

i wish this keyboard was bigger.

Granted. But it's only bigger because you've shrunk to the size of a dung beetle.

I wish crayons were the only writing instruments we have available to us.

Granted. Then it rains and you can't write on anything.

I wish for an early spring.

Granted. Springs in your car broke earlier than the should.

I wish for tasty pastry.

Granted. You eat a tasty pastry which, unfortunately was prepared by a disgruntled pastry chef and comes with a side order of e-coli.


I wish that disgruntled kitchen staff wouldn't vent their frustrations on unsuspecting patrons.

Granted. The kitchen staff is cool, but now the waiters spit on your food.

I wish all hotel pools were salt water and not fresh water with a bazillion gallons of chlorine in them.

Granted. The sharks thrive in them.

I wish my favorite restaurant had not closed down.

Granted. It's re-open, but it serves as den for local thugs.

I wish GW made more models for servitors.

Granted. But they all look like crazy anime cartoons and cost a hundred quid each.

I wish for more cabinet space.

Granted. Your house is robbed and completely cleaned out.

I wish for a memorable weekend.

Granted. You are flogged by nuns again and again in public, while wearing a lime green pimp hat and tellling jokes.

I wish the sun would come out today.

It does, but only for 10 seconds and then darkness...and the vampires...descend and drain you dry.


I wish I could paint minis faster.

Granted. Faster, much. Better, no.

I wish to skip February.

Granted! However, after 28 days of straight, non-stop skipping throughout the month of February, you need hip replacement surgery and you're legs are but stumps.

I wish all my technology had voice command controls.

Granted, but it only understand chineese

I wish I could speak chineese.

Granted. But you still don't understand a word of it.

I wish for some steak.

Granted. You are given a steer. You have to butcher it yourself.


I wish for a magical ring of 3 wishes.

Granted. The ring grants you 3 wishes, but your mother-in-law get's twice as much.

I wish my brother was less self-centered.

Granted! Now he is completely, absolutely, unfalteringly focused on you, 24/7, 365.

I wish pudding didn't take so long to set.

Granted. It never sets.

I wish the kitty would get comfortable.

Granted. The kitty gets comfortable on your lap and refuses to move.


I wish I could teleport.

Granted. You've teleported right on to the set of 'Hell's Kitchen' and you have no idea how to cook, drawing the full ire and wrath of Gordon Ramsey.

I wish every time Trump lies his nose grows, like Pinocchio.

Granted, but he can afford plastic surgery so that even though his nose grows, no one ever notices because he just gets it fixed.

I wish for 8th edition 40k to be well balanced.

Granted. 8th edition uses the Battle for Vedros rule set. All armies are covered in the box set. No codexes, supplements, etc.
Game is perfectly balanced and is for ages 8 & up.


I wish that we could all just get along.

Granted. Now 'Kumbaya' is the only song played and available to download globally, and Earth is renamed 'Boring World'.

I wish Mermaids were real.

Granted. They exist, and are hell-bent on preventing seafood harvesting.

I wish for some shrimp.