Forum adverts like this one are shown to any user who is not logged in. Join us by filling out a tiny 3 field form and you will get your own, free, dakka user account which gives a good range of benefits to you: No adverts like this in the forums anymore. Times and dates in your local timezone. Full tracking of what you have read so you can skip to your first unread post, easily see what has changed since you last logged in, and easily see what is new at a glance. Email notifications for threads you want to watch closely. Being a part of the oldest wargaming community on the net. If you are already a member then feel free to login now.

Granted. A whole truckload of weeks-old rotten shrimp is left in your front yard. Your neighbors will love you...

I wish for people to quit hating the Star Wars prequels.

Granted people hate the entire franchise. It was never made past film one.

I wish for a mug of tea with a fresh orgainic cookie.

Granted. Both are frozen in a 30 pound block of ice.

I wish for some painting time.

Granted. You are now isolated in limbo for all of eternity. But you have your miniatures and your painting space so...

I wish I had a car that worked...

Granted! Your car works fine but it gets stolen and you don't have it insured for theft.

I wish I could figure out how to keep a houseplant alive.

Granted your houseplant is now sentient, and man-eating.

I wish I knew how to kill your now sentient man-eating houseplant.

Granted but it eats you first as its sentiant and knows your trying to kill it.

I wish my 30 pound ice block would hurry up and melt

Granted. You get the entire Utramarine chapter at you disposal. Since you are not authorized or ranked to give them orders they just wreck your house as they rampage out into an unsuspecting world.

I wish some good ol' heresy in the form of a sexy rat girl. For a friend offcourse.

Granted. But sexy Rat Girl gets caught in a giant, not-sexy Rat Trap and gnaws her own legs off to escape, only to succumb to severe blood loss.

I wish someone would come and clean up the Rat Girl mess...ewwww!

Granted. A necromancer takes care of it all, and leaves you a tip.

I wish for some new tunes.

Granted. You attend a 3-hour long children's recorder and clarinet recital.


I wish for a more efficient postal service.

Granted! A stamp now costs $200. to finance said improvements.

I wish for my son to get accepted to his first choice college.

Granted. He's accepted and starts his classes, but then ends up hooked on all kinds of illegal drugs and ends up flunking out.

I wish for a delicious meat pizza.

Granted, The pizza is made with delicous ordinary meat toppings, but because you wished for it in this tread you are haunted by the horrible feeling that there was something else wrong with it. You spend the rest of your live trying to figure out what, only to discover that you wasted all that time for a disappointing awnser.

I wish for some good ol' heresy in the form of the old metal daemonettes of Slaanesh. Again this is not for me.

Granted. But they are horribly disfigured by a terrible paint-job that you are unable to alter or remove.

I wish for World Peace...

Granted . Yet the wold disarms and you have peace until

Later zombie hitler returns and enslaves the world and begins to plan to rule the universe with the moon nazis and help of a trex named bob who eats you because bob needs feeding.

I wish I had ability to read minds selectively.

Granted! But for some reason, you continually select to read the mind of the guy who cleans the toilets at the Bus Station.

I wish Honey Badgers did care.

Granted. Now all honey badgers begin caring and are hellbent on overthrowing mankind. Their technological capacity soon outstrips our
own and you are enslaved by honey-badgers.

I wish I could go back in time and buy all the 2nd edition 40k minis at their original prices...

Granted. All your money is on a plastic contactless debit card...

I wish that this thread had better wish results.

Granted. You are teleported to the 'fix a wish' thread.



I wish for some tasty ice cream.

Granted. But you are now allergic to ice cream and even looking at the stuff will make you go blind.

I wish I did not have to go to work tomorrow.

Granted! You will be abducted and probed by aliens for the next 24 hours in 5, 4, 3, 2....


I wish I could come up with an idea for a cool, new pasta shape.

Granted.
the Chinese copy it a day later, produce it cheaper and in vast quantities.

You never make a penny.

I wish I had powers to teleport.

Granted. You can now teleport. You have no control, however as to where or when. You might suddenly be spirited away mid conversation and reappear inside a nuclear reactor or at the bottom of the ocean....

I wish I could become invisible at will...

Granted. Will is very annoyed and stops hanging out with you.

I wish to invent a new form of game.

Granted...

You invent a great game. Maybe the best.

Only no one reconises I and you have a great idea but no one apericates your invention.

.
I wish for a baneblade I cam drive.

Granted: You are magically teleported into the 40k universe and designated as driver of a baneblade. As you are not actually a member of the dystopian society to which you now belong, the local commisariat flags you as "deviant" and your skull is unceremoniously perforated with a bolt-pistol.

I wish that all the horus heresy legions would suddenly switch allegiance....

Granted. They fight alongside Orks now.

I wish for a rocket-powered sledge

Granted! But it has no brakes and you've aligned it with a wall. A very big, thick wall.

I wish US Politics thread in the OT Forum wasn't locked.

Granted. The trolls make you king.

I wish the political crap would stop.