Forum adverts like this one are shown to any user who is not logged in. Join us by filling out a tiny 3 field form and you will get your own, free, dakka user account which gives a good range of benefits to you: No adverts like this in the forums anymore. Times and dates in your local timezone. Full tracking of what you have read so you can skip to your first unread post, easily see what has changed since you last logged in, and easily see what is new at a glance. Email notifications for threads you want to watch closely. Being a part of the oldest wargaming community on the net. If you are already a member then feel free to login now.

LMAO, warhammer probably kept me from losing my virginity for six months...

Am with a long term partner now, and she knows I read the books (and takes the mick out of it)...haven't got any models in a while, (prob due to our 6 month old son though!)

Some girls like it, some girls don't mind, some think its terribly sad. It is sad, but being men, I think we need to have a sad hobby and imo it beats watching sport or something...

My advice to you is, tell her, as she's probably found out, but do other stuff to make you fit in more, IE go to gigs, work out, anything else that's more socially accepted.

I for one am lucky to have a girlfriend who accepts my hobby and appreciates my interests, I too took the risk of telling her. She was completely cool with it, but as others have said: if she judges you on your wargaming hobby alone, is she really that special?

Tell her, be up front about it. Nobody wants to be in a relationship with a habitual liar-- if a woman was lying about her hobby, men would bash her, call her a lying slut, and do other nasty things. No need for a double standard.

Very well said!

^ to be quite honest my GF knew I had 40K but didn't had a clue as to what it really was....we've been going out almost 4yrs now & I started playing back in '95....since then I stopped & only started up again after she told me there's a ''Warhammer shop'' aka ' The Battle Bunker ' only 2 blocks from where she works & she told me I should go check it out.....@ the time ( 4 MONTHS ago ) I had :

THEN :2 Predator,3 HQ, 17 Grey Hunters & 5 terminator army.........


FOR NOW : 7 HQ, 13 Terminators ( incl. An HQ Rune Priest ), Bjorn the Fell-handed Dreadnought ( HQ ),12 Long fangs with squad leaders ( total 15 ), 5 scouts, 20 Grey hunters, 20 Blood Claws, 10 Skyclaws, Predator, Razorback, Vindicator, 2 Rhinos, 2 Land Raider Crusaders, 3 Drop Pods

I have started to explain the rules etc to her &
yesterday she came along for a game to spectate & loved it so much that next week she's joining with her own ORK army I've bought her for now ( starting small )

She really enjoined watching all the different games that were being played & appreciated all the effort & detailing that went into the creation of the armies that was there......& she's super amped to become a gamer herself.


So in my case I owe the entire 'new' 40K experiance & future of my gaming to her & I love her to bits for doing so













Automatically Appended Next Post:
^ must add......she also buy & reads the WARHAMMER 40K books & Novels with me

I happen to agree with those who say "Don't hide it, but don't shove it in her face". Some of the coolest women i know love geeky stuff. even some of the popular stuff. I got my wife into it merely by inviting her to some D&D when we were broke and were so bored we could cry. She's still not into 40k, but thats more of a confidence thing on her part.
If you're lucky, she'll get into it. if not, she won't. but if she dumps you over it... personally after the initial hurt was stepped over I'd be laughing my ass off. Anyone that shallow... why be around someone like that?

I don't understand what the big fuzz is all about.

It's just a war-game, played by people of all ages.

If she doesn't understand it, then she is a) to young in her mind or b) narrow minded.

I would never lie about such a thing, it's better to be fair, especially if you truly love someone.
Lies always get revealed at some point and they are mostly (if not always) the start of a decaying relationship, even if you don't know it yet at the point of lying.

Trust is everything.

But I wonder, if you have to hide something like that from her, does she actually really love you? I am not suggesting anything really, but I don't understand why you have to ask advice about such a 'silly' problem on a forum.
You should never change who you are just to please a girl/boy, it's not worth it, at least not in the long run.

If it's just about sex, then don't tell her lol.

warhammer is a part of you, it's like having 193 brothers and trying to hide all of them because she might not like them, if she doesn't then it's not her problem, I'm not gonna blow sunshine and rainbows up your ass, you won't be happy but if she won't mind(not having you) then maybe it's not worth it. But don't lie, as a rule of the universe lying only causes problems, and we're honor bound as humans not to decieve. Don't introduce your battle brethren as something stigmatic, and don't get weird about it, the more normal it seems at first the better the reaction will be.
But it's not anyone's place to give anyone a definite.

most importantly, don't do what i did, no open public fanboyness. as a group people will be uncertain on how to react and so to be safe they will treat it as weird, permanantly alienating you.
no pressure though

I'm sure throughout the last 5 pages you've gotten mixed advice.

I've dealt with this and it's not as delicate a situation as you may think.

1. Don't be a spaz about her finding out. If you treat the hobby like a secret alternate life it's only going to put a negative connotation on the hobby and lead to no good. If you do this, you've lost the race before you've even left the starting line.

2. Don't worry about telling her. Again, this can put a negative connotation on the hobby if you uncomfortably bring up the topic. It can give the impression that you need to 'come clean' about your dirty little secrets.

3. Do not force it on her. Should she find out don't try to explain too much. Only answer the questions she asks and try to answer them in a manner that will not confuse her.

4. Just let it be. It is what it is and it's something you enjoy. If you treat it as copasetic, then so will she.

Oh and the other big thing is not to mistake a polite interest for a desire to know all about it, theres nothing worse than making conversation only to be flooded by niche information that means little to you.

dont correct her every time she assumes something wrong about the genetic make-up of a space marine for example lol.

I got lucky in the sense my wife is fairly geeky and when we dated in High School she would be more then happy to tag along to our FLGS. She would also play various games with us, hell she has her own Necrons. But I found the best way to deal with it for other girls I've been with, or even coworkers who still think life is a popularity contest (8 years after I've graduated) know your audience. If the girl your seeing is super uptight, and worried about her reputation more than anything. I just wouldn't mention it to her. If she sees em I'd explain it as being your artistic outlet, I've also described it as a really complex game of chess or RISK in the past. Some folks just think it's "odd" and others laugh, but it doesn't impact my relation with any of them save a few. And the few it does? I'd rather know early on how I'm going to consider them, either a friend or a coworker.

When dealing with girlfriends, it's a bit different but not horribly. If it seems like a girl who is pretty open minded (or maybe she has a collection of some odd item of her own, stuffed animals, dolls, ect) then it would get brought up casually. If they freak and dump me on the spot? Well glad I didn't invest that much time or energy into em. If it's a girl who is a bit more narrow minded or who isn't as open to new things, I'd keep it closer to my chest. Don't show them all your crazy at one time, it has to be done in bits and pieces if you expect them to accept it. They still might bounce rather than date a "nerd" and if so, well so be it. But if they've already invested that time into you, chances are better they'll hang around.

Given your a freshman in HS, I wouldn't care to much about it. If she accepts it, awesome, if not, their are tons of other girls out there. And who knows, she may surprise and at least support it, if not be willing to try a friendly game or two. Just be willing to do something she wants to do, even if it's shoe shopping or going with her to the salon. Compromise is where it's at and works both ways.

Slarg232 wrote:Buy a Warhammer Fantasy Squig and leave it out for her to find.

I have read that women like squigs. YMMV.

Lol, best one I've heard yet. Sigd