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Pretty much agree with Niiai here.

Not sure why so many people are advising you hide it, I know a lot of people look down on the hobby from the few times I've been a room with someone who didn't know I play started bad mouthing it, was funny as hell watching them backtrack when I said I played though, but really people its a hobby you enjoy why hide it. Does anyone else think that the reason it is so shuned might be because so many of us hide our hobby, like it is something to be ashamed off?

But then again I don't understand why "hide it" or "tell her" are the two options. Both those options make it out to be a big deal, be nonchalant about it, don't hide it but don't rub it in her face either. if it comes up it comes up and deal with it accordingly. As several people have already mentioned if it does come up and she freaks, her.

In all honestly though I don't think a 40k forum is the best place to get advise on this subject and no one can really judge the situation bettter than you, all we can do is mouth off about personal experiences and our opinions based on your original question. Your the one who knows her and yourself and the myriad of other factors that are involved, do what your heart/gut tells you, but don't be in a rush to make up your mind.

Good luck man I hope it works out for you, I really do

Speaking as a highschooler. Unless you some how become one of the few who marries the girl they meet in high school i suggest you don't unless you know shes understanding. The thing you have right now is a fling and will end at some point in your high school career and you will move on to other girls (possibly better ones). Hide them unless you know her.

Ogard wrote:i just read ops question to my wife and she said without even blinking... "Hide that "

I lol'ed.

Niiai wrote:Yeah, playing 40K is your defining abilaty as a person. :-p Honestly I do not se what the big deal is.

God I hope not. I play cricket too donchaknow?

SpankHammer III wrote:Pretty much agree with Niiai here.

Not sure why so many people are advising you hide it, I know a lot of people look down on the hobby from the few times I've been a room with someone who didn't know I play started bad mouthing it, was funny as hell watching them backtrack when I said I played though, but really people its a hobby you enjoy why hide it. Does anyone else think that the reason it is so shuned might be because so many of us hide our hobby, like it is something to be ashamed off?

But then again I don't understand why "hide it" or "tell her" are the two options. Both those options make it out to be a big deal, be nonchalant about it, don't hide it but don't rub it in her face either. if it comes up it comes up and deal with it accordingly. As several people have already mentioned if it does come up and she freaks, her.

In all honestly though I don't think a 40k forum is the best place to get advise on this subject and no one can really judge the situation bettter than you, all we can do is mouth off about personal experiences and our opinions based on your original question. Your the one who knows her and yourself and the myriad of other factors that are involved, do what your heart/gut tells you, but don't be in a rush to make up your mind.

Good luck man I hope it works out for you, I really do

I agree with this guy. if you treat it like something you should be ashamed of then you wont get anywhere.
Just make sure you dont start explaining what the models are and what they do. Say "these are vampires that i paint. They are just like Edward from twilight, good guys who are misunderstood"

I have been playing for over 10years now and my GF couldnt care less infact she proberbly likes me doing it as i stop anoying her. And she helps paint mine when the weather is to outside. Not managed to get her to have a game yet but working on that

Tell the truth.

I'm not ashamed of saying I met my girlfriend on a dating site. In my Ad under interests I put: Role-Playing Games, Board Games, Star Wars, Doctor Who, Rock & Heavy Metal music. We've been togther for five years and are very happy. I guess it helps that my girlfriend is an artist so appreciates the creativity of miniatures and role-playing even though she plays neither (despite my nagging).

I really don't care what others think of my hobbies. Usually the ones that mock are the ones smoking & drinking heavily. If that's the other option bring on the plastic

Honestly the amount of people saying "man up and tell her" is rather amusing, since I would consider it a fail Maybe I'm doing it wrong, but whatever (no gf for me :( )

I'd say probably don't hide but don't point it out. Leave it out and carry on as the norm. Wait til she picks up on it. If she does, she'll let you know. Then you can discuss to your heart's content. If she ignores it, then she appears fine with it or she's planning on dropping you. It's a 50/50 but if it was me, I'd expect her to drop me in a heartbeat.

Show her the Dark Eldar codex and explain that she is now your captive...Chicks dig freaky stuff.

I have had my hobby longer than I have had girlfriends.

Don't make me choose (not that I have had to, mind).

SpankHammer III wrote:

But then again I don't understand why "hide it" or "tell her" are the two options. Both those options make it out to be a big deal, be nonchalant about it, don't hide it but don't rub it in her face either. if it comes up it comes up and deal with it accordingly. As several people have already mentioned if it does come up and she freaks, her.

I've got to agree with this. If you make it out to be a big deal, it will be a big deal. But if she asks, you should tell her the truth. After all, if she is truly 'the One' then starting out by lying is hardly a great way to start.

My advice would be not to make a big thing of it and/or freak out. If it comes up, the correct answer is to casually say 'yeah, I enjoy painting models,' or 'I sometimes play a game with my friends at the local GW (or where-ever it is you play.)' The incorrect answer is 'Dude yes I play 40K this is my Blood Marine captain my army is the best OMG this guy has so many attacks and he's really hard and his armour is the best in the imperium and this is amazing you have to play too dreadnaughts are awesome too *head expolodes*'

Believe me, the more of a fuss you make about it, the more crazy she will think you are. And while a good relationship can thrive on a small amount of crazy, too much will kill her affections like an angry squig in an orphanage.

I dated nerdy girls in high school and I dated "cool" girls in high school. Just don't act like a spaz about whatever you like and you should do fine. Saying "I had a fun game with the guys today, it was really close!" is better than going into a turn by turn breakdown of every action of the game, replete with Captain Marysuelius striking down Plague Champion Fartrot in the 5th turn with his master crafted relic blade, "The Power."

So yeah, don't be a spaz.

She just saw "d'awwwwww, they're so small and cute"... they're Space Wolves xD

When i met my fiance i really didn't let her know right away... but she eventually saw my case and explained what everything was. She didn't seem very interested and laughed calling me a nerd and i ended up cutting down on my gaming as old friends dropped out of the hobby and the 'good' staff at GW moved onto other jobs...

Then i made her into a nerd

She had never seen Star Wars, LOTR, Indiana Jones, or any other cool movie actually... so i made her watch those, and she loved them, so theres stage 1 complete!
She also had trouble sleeping so i used to tell her about the 40k universe and its little intricasies (spelling?) to help her doze off, stage 2.
(Shes actually very interested in what Cypher is upto...)

Eventually i got back into gaming at full steam and she dropped in a few times to see the mysterious place where i go every thursday night and she actually enjoyed it (Stage 3), and stole some of my Eldar to paint pink (stage 4).... (so there is a downside...)
So far she's notched up 6 wins from 8 games (One was a doubles game, 4 were with me helping with general advice and being more or less a talking rulebook) (stage 5)

Shes currently at the stage when i can talk about something 40k related and she can 90% of what i'm going on about.

So there my plan! here it is in bullet-points

- Stage 1 - Get her into nerdy things. Like LOTR.
- Stage 2 - Slowly leak 40k information into her subconcious when she is semi-concious.
- Stage 3 - Get her to watch you play, and meet your friends (if their nice, and remind them to get rid of their gamer funk)
- Stage 4 - Let her paint something pink, possibly with hello kitty banners.
- Stage 5 - Get her to win, if she plays you and gets crushed she will loose interest.

Don't hide it, but don't get really excited about it if she asks about it. If you get weird about the hobby, then the hobby IS weird at least to her. I thought the same thing back 1996 when I was a sophomore. I thought I needed to hide D&D and Star Wars d6. I didn't need to bring it up at first but when it finally came up I acted like it wasn't a big deal because frankly it isn't. She realized after some time that I was more interested in her but I always kept a night with the friends staying up to 5 AM playing D&D.

In a way she was a little jealous of the game. But I never acted like it was very important. If you start going "OMG this guy's name is Chapter Master Seth and wields a chainsword that he uses to dispatch Tyranids!!! Oh tyranids are sort of like the creatures that Lt. Ripley fought in the 80's. You probably remember the sames Aliens in the more recent (And horrible films) called Aliens Vs. Predator. I should probably now tell you my top ten reasons for hating those movies! #1 Predators are NOT pro wrestlers! #2..." etc.

You start acting like that and the hobby is weird, you are weird, and the relationship is going to fall apart. Unless she already digs Warhammer and Aliens. The chances of that are slim so keep that inner nerd in check.

Anyways, we have been married since 2000, so there you go.

BTW if you need to rest of the I hate AVP because of these reasons list, just PM me.

EDIT: WOW I have already gotten several requests for the list. I guess people hate that movie as much as me.

Basically what everyone else is saying. Don't be a spaz about it. Treat it like any other hobby. Unless she is an elitist ***** she will most likely be tolerant at the very least.

You could just get lucky and find an artistic closet nerd like my girlfriend, who after watching me paint, model, and lose games decided to start an Ork army. She demolished my Chaos Marines in her first 1000pt intro game. I was so proud

Get to be so good in bed (and a few other aspects of the whole relationship game) it doesn't matter what your other hobbies are.

As others have said, a lot of good advice in this thread, but even more bad.

Honestly? I agree with those saying to not hide it. It's part of who you are, don't hide who you are, that never works out. Unless you're a serial killer. Well, that still doesn't work out because she'd eventually find out, and then you would have to kill her, then that's just one big mess that how in the hell are you going to explain to your mom?

No, seriously. If she thinks it's weird and dumps you, she's a filthy bitch anyways. If she rolls with it, good for you and her. I'm a freshman in college now (went right back to school, so yes, I was in high school this time last year), but last year I finally started dating the girl I liked for over three years, we'd been dating for a little over a month when I decided to start Warhammer, I said screw it, hiding/chickening out isn't going to do any good, so I told her that I was going to buy these "Tyranids" and start a little gaming group with a few of my buddies. Yeah, she now regularly goes with me to Air Traffic (no GWS around here, AT has all my Warhammer needs) and even comes over to hang out with us while we play 40k games at my house. She constantly tells me how much she likes the miniatures I've painted and thinks it's great that I'm in this hobby.

Not every story is going to turn out like that, but hey, when you find the one, it may.

papathrax wrote:Get to be so good in bed (and a few other aspects of the whole relationship game) it doesn't matter what your other hobbies are.

Which you won't get if you spend all your time posting on a 40k forum.

My GF calls it "playing with toys" and my local gaming club is "Geek Club" to her. She doesnt meant it maliciously however and is completely uninterested in the hobby in all forms, this however is wonderfull, If i ever want time to myself I just start painting or sticking or reading through my codex collection.

Also she has no idea of what is new, old or expensive, "what these old things?" I say as she glances at a cluster of new models on my desk "I've had em for ages just not got around to painting em yet". I find girls can be funny about how much money you spend on something they view as toys but if she has no interest in it she doesnt need to know does she?

Dude its a hobby not a crack addiction........ well not really anyway lol

My mrs is part of the cool crowd, listens to "cool" music "no idea what cool music is these days grunge is about as cool as i ever got lol) and goes clubbin and all that but she doesnt have aproblem with it, when we first got together i was a bit ah hell how do i tell a cool chick im a geek, first time she came to my gaff i just left my 40k were i normally left it (everywere and my kitchen a complete mess with it paintin stuff lol) all she said was "whats the toy soldiers about" couldnt really argue there not toy soldiers just explained bout 40k and she was like fair enough. were now gettin marrie dand have a kid so not like every woman will you off over a game, some will but there not really who you wanna be with anyway.

This smells of troll

This Thread has made me lol so many times

gloomygrim wrote:
Dude its a hobby not a crack addiction........ well not really anyway lol

Brother SRM wrote:

papathrax wrote:
Get to be so good in bed (and a few other aspects of the whole relationship game) it doesn't matter what your other hobbies are.

Which you won't get if you spend all your time posting on a 40k forum.

Juvieus Kaine wrote:Honestly the amount of people saying "man up and tell her" is rather amusing, since I would consider it a fail Maybe I'm doing it wrong, but whatever (no gf for me :( )

I'd say probably don't hide but don't point it out. Leave it out and carry on as the norm. Wait til she picks up on it. If she does, she'll let you know. Then you can discuss to your heart's content. If she ignores it, then she appears fine with it or she's planning on dropping you. It's a 50/50 but if it was me, I'd expect her to drop me in a heartbeat.

The points are there's a lot more to a person than one of their hobbies, one shouldn't lie to someone one has a realtionship (of any sort with), one shouldn't lie to people anyway and one should not be ina a relationship where one person doesn't respect the other.
Enter 'I play 40k', when I start to play I was already in an established relationship. I talked about it for a couple of weeks, showed her some pictures and went over the game and the universes (with what was very patchy knowledge). Talked about which army to start, and actually asked for her opinion - not one 'what can I beat with?' but 'what's the best to have a blast with?'. We settled on Orks, I encouraged her to help me paint (little hands ^_^ ). We spent many morning, afternoons and nights either watching media and painting or one of us playing video games or sudying of me assembling.

So, it more than possible for anyone, to show their partner the game. Just let them know about why you're interested, what particular elements appeal to you. Ask for their opinion, but be prepared in some cases one could have to dig for a genuine answer as to what's wrong (or right ) with your interests in the hobby from their perspective. One does have to sway one's partner to like the gave or even totally approve of where your money is going! It's just acceptance, once it's all out of the closet people are usually a lot happier and often interested

Jaon wrote:

Shas'O Dorian wrote:Option 1: You are only interested in the short term "High-school-relationship" that will probably end in a year or two, definitely when you go to different colleges.

Option 2: You actually care about this person and want to try & make things last.

For option one, hide it.

For option two, tell her maybe not right now, but don't try to hide it forever. Be open, be honest (Girls hate guys who lie) & if she can't accept you for who you are then she isn't worth it and there are probably other reasons you two will break up. If you think you can hide something forever you can't. Women are the real life inquisition, the eye that sleepeth not, to them innocence proves nothing and the only way to absolve you is through pain & suffering. =I=

That is beautiful. Sig'd.

x2

Dude you're a dork. Just like the rest of us. OWN IT. Eventually that hot dork chick is going to come along and you'll be golden.

Ma55ter_fett wrote:"40K and your girlfriend"

I have no experience with one of those subjects.

This is hilarious if you are a WHFB player... and sad if you're a 40k player

My current girlfriend is a pain in the greater good about it, but we're both in our mid 20's and she still lives with her parents, so she DARES not play the "immature" card.

It doesn't help that the first game she saw me playing against, was against a REALLY annoying 13 year old.

After she met a few of the players "my age" that I associate with, who are total closet wargamers and can still integrate into normal society, she lightened up a little bit about it. Recently she said something to the tune of "You know, there is a lot of really genius strategy in that game..."

The etheral caste brainwashing techniques must be working. She will join The Greater Good soon... BWWAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA

Get to know her deeper. You'll be able to tell eventually what her reaction will be towards your models. If its negative just hit it and quit it.

40k > girl who won't let you be yourself

If she in the so-call "Cool Crowd" and you trying to impress her by not being true to yourself first....then you are lieing to yourself. You need to know one thing about women ......There are many fishes in the pond......and people fail to see the sign that states " Catch and Release"...there are many other women out there in the world. Truth me on this one.

It's a hobby, a good one, at least you won't end up getting high on crack/alcohol and poor because you want to be 'cool'.

If she ask, just tell her it's a hobby. Don't try to explain ALL DETAILS at once to her. Do it like a normal conversation. If she really likes to know more, then proceed. The world is not only about black and white, there are far more other options (in your case, hobby) to choose from.

Organize your time table. Know when to date, study, exercise and do your hobby. If you grown up without knowing how to manage your time, it will be very difficult for you to achieve a goal.

Buy a Warhammer Fantasy Squig and leave it out for her to find.

I have read that women like squigs. YMMV.