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My girlfriend is the one that convinced me to start playing, some girls like the game, believe it or not.

Just tell her the truth: you go play wargames with your buddies, and part of this involves assembling and painting models. It's a hobby, and you enjoy it.

40k is only weird when you try to explain the details, especially to someone who doesn't care.

bloodjunkey wrote:dear dakka,

I have recently been going out with this girl and she has seen the paint pots in my room but thinks there from when I was little because so far she hasn't seen my beloved blood angels. she is going to find out eventually what these "little dudes" are. ( she saw a random marine lying on my floor) she is part of the "cool crowd" at my school and I dont want to blow it with her. should I explain what my 40k models are or just try to hide it for as long as I can.....please note I am only a high school freshman.

I know I am a COLLOSAL hypocrite for saying this, but I'd recommend telling her-she'll be more annoyed if she found out you were trying to keep something from her I reckon. Plus, you might be surprised-I just found out today that the girl I have had a crush on for the past three and a half years is a massive fan of the Talisman board game. Conclusive proof that there is a God .

MechaEmperor7000 wrote:Treat it like any other hobby. If she asks, tell her what SHE wants to know, not what you think she should know. Alot of girls here are actually very interested in warhammer, the only thing stopping them being the price.

To Canada!

Make it sound artistic, and leave some unfinished stuff on a workbench, you dont have to say and it drops the hint. But yeah, make it sound artistic

Man, why are people so self conscious about playing this game? It is something you like to do, if she asks about it tell her, if for whatever superficial reason she can't handle somebody who has a hobby, and can't see and respect the craftsmanship involved then let her leave.

People tend to over complicate...

She will either like you for you or will not be worth your time.

And always remember that if you take time and do your models well then your are nothing short of a craftsman learning and mastering a craft which the majority of people can see and respect. Take pride in yourself and what you do.

Punch her in the face and tell her too get over it.

But not really, my girlfriend accepted it pretty well shes a different side too your life and should be able too see this.

You are a kid in high school, you are essentially playing with army men or with that 'dungeons and dragons stuff'.

If she is with the cool crowd the chances are that its game over for your relationship.

Just get on with your thing, and realise that when you are older you will still get odd looks for playing with toy soldiers.


I have been playing war games 20 odd years, my wife thinks my 'Warhammers' are 'funny' (in the odd sense).

HIDE IT!!!!! lol thats what i did wen i was in highschool. I still do it now with my current gf even tho we've been together for a year. Everytime I go to my LFGS or a montly tournament, I tell her its a video game related thing. She still thinks I'm a nerd, but it works for me lol

Horrible advice from the last 2 posts...

Women are attracted to men, not boys

Boys hide things they are self conscious about and do not take pride in what they do or in themselves.

Men know were they stand and are confident in all aspects of there life, step up not down, if you show you are confident in yourself and what you do women will come and will respect that, even if it seems a little nerdy.

I have to emphasize yournamehere on this one.

Pride may be a fool's fortress, but god knows women are attracted to it.

If you don't care what other people think about your warhammer, then she'll respect that- you get into trouble if you try to hide it and later when she INEVITABLY finds out... There are all kinds of people who go into hobby shops, I guarantee that most of the ones with girlfriends don't pussyfoot around the issue.

So basically you shouldn't hide them from a significant other, but if you are single and one night stands aren't out of the question it may be best to just store em under the bed.

Especially Mr.DK's advice. I mean, I could not imagine hiding a hobby of this scale from a person I'm in a relationship with. If I don't trust them enough to let them about somethig like my hobby....well, why the heck am I in a relationship with this person to begin with?!

I do admit though, most girls when they see my 40k miniatures, are rather interested in the artistic side of it, and at one was interested enough to start asking about the game itself.

But yes, don't hide your hobbies...hiding it will only set things up for problems in the future. If the girl knows you're willing to lie over somethin so trivial as a hobby...how does she know she can trust you over something more important?

yournamehere wrote:Man, why are people so self conscious about playing this game? It is something you like to do, if she asks about it tell her, if for whatever superficial reason she can't handle somebody who has a hobby, and can't see and respect the craftsmanship involved then let her leave.

People tend to over complicate...

She will either like you for you or will not be worth your time.

And always remember that if you take time and do your models well then your are nothing short of a craftsman learning and mastering a craft which the majority of people can see and respect. Take pride in yourself and what you do.

This.

I really don't get why people are so concerned with how to "handle" the situation. I wasn't in a crowd that did anything like 40k when my bf got me into it way back when. Don't oversimplify people and don't think that 40k is the weirdest thing people do or that it is somehow unacceptable. It's only childish if you hide it... like a child.

akaean wrote:
So basically you shouldn't hide them from a significant other, but if you are single and one night stands aren't out of the question it may be best to just store em under the bed.

Very true: always hide them from a one night stand or a bang-buddy: unless they are into dorky things. Remind me to discuss "strip-soul caliber" someday...hmm, maybe not, as this is supposed to be a family friendly site

But yeah, as stated so many times, just be confident and as I mentioned on page 1 (I think) just talk about the artistic aspect of it. Also, another point that I made to a friend's girlfriend was that it is mentally good for you: it stimulates your brain to play and strategize, and this helps prevent the onset of diseases such as Alzheimers. Tell her it's a prescription for your mind! You won't even be lying

Kids in high school tend to be very reactionary about things, so nothing good could come from her knowing... mention it when y'all are in college, if you plan on going. Until, I wouldn't worry about it, nor consider letting her in on it. You guys will likely break up over some piddly reason sooner than later so there's no reason to let her in on it...

Whether you are cool or not isn't decided by your girlfriend. It's decided by her friends.

nevermind

I used to do alot of dating coaching, pickup artist stuff . (i was the teacher coach). It depends how you frame your hobby, Unless you are a mack daddy like myself I would say hide it, on the otherhand you can say something like, i like to have a game with a few beers with the boys its like poker but more interesting (comparing it took poker for some reason makes it cool to women who don't know 40k or poker, which is most). and i can chill out when i paint em, helps me relax. I would however brush over it like its not a big deal and not dwell on it, my gf got me back into it but does not actually like it, i think the majority of girls don't from what i have experianced.

Seems the US high-school chicks are quite fickle?


Never had a problem with my girlfriend of 2 years...because I didn't care!!


She's been to GW with me on numerous shopping trips

Gf "Reyt, wanna go primark then new look at get them new tops"

Me "Ah alright, but I *NEED* to go to GW and pick up some more paint "


Gf "Not spending all day in there again >:| "


Me "I know babe"

And then I'd get chatting to staff while she cries herself to sleep.

My GF thinks it's kinda cute, but generally avoids the subject. And It was mainly because she already knew i was a pretty nerdy guy. I guess just treat it like it's nothing out of the ordinary. If you freak about her finding out, she'll think it's because it is bad.

tell her flat out. show up for a date wearing space marine armor. if she gets weird, tell her the emprorer is displeased, and you must now purge the heresy from her. ill leave the last statment to your imagination on how to actually do so. either way, should make for an interesting night.

You're 14/15. She's most likely not the one. Have fun, relax, try not to let your hormones dominate your thinking too often.

People (even high schoolers) tend not to be as shallow as you think. Lots of people have passions for things outside the cliched norm. In fact, very few people fit into the stereotypical high school image (you know, the jock/cheerleader who bullies the choir kids/band students/chess club/studyers).

If you're passionate about something, people may think it's a little weird. But they'll respect you, if you're able to be "normal" outside of when you're playing 40k. If you can have a conversation with a person and not once bring up anything 40k related, you're fine. It's the kids whose only social abilities seem tied to whatever it is they do that are the shunned ones.

Be prepared for a bit of good-natured ribbing. 40k is nerdy and she'll make fun of you a bit. But, always look at her eyes, she'll be smiling inside. Don't take offense, it's no different than when you poke fun at her love of Twilight or Glee.

I won't lie, there is a possibility that she dumps you. Some people just want to "fit in" so badly that they fake that sterotype in themselves. If she does this, don't worry. She's a bitch and is going to have a miserable life after high school (although, during high school, she's going to be rather popular). You're lucky to be rid of her.

poking fun at twilight is not simple fun. its almost mandatory. and hopefully such teasing will make target individual repent of his heretical ways and shun the "sparkly vampires" like they deserve.

on topic if she actually DOES like twilight i suggest breaking it off immediatly. shes clearly insane.

DarthSpader wrote:poking fun at twilight is not simple fun. its almost mandatory. and hopefully such teasing will make target individual repent of his heretical ways and shun the "sparkly vampires" like they deserve.

on topic if she actually DOES like twilight i suggest breaking it off immediatly. shes clearly insane.

Why don't you just tell him to buy a blowup doll instead? It'll amount to the same thing. Many girls, even above the age of 17 like/love Twilight. If we all listened to that advice, we'd all have blowup dolls in the closet and worse under the bed. No details, do to fear of the MODquisition

women are like cats. You replace them or they replace you. At your age this is very true. get one over 30yo they arent so fickle. Just have a good time for now don't put pressure on yourself. Get a good education/job then you will have plenty of them.

If you want a long term relationship you have to be honest with each other. No secrets. If she likes you she will respect your hobbies. Hiding it only makes it look bad.

Some girls actually like the game. My college boyfriend introduced me to Warhammer from the artistic side painting and soon after I had started a high elf and eldar army because I love elves and it was fun to paint. I wanted to try the game too and soon after that I was playing regularly and ultimately started playing competitively.

nevertellmetheodds wrote:I used to do alot of dating coaching, pickup artist stuff . (i was the teacher coach). It depends how you frame your hobby, Unless you are a mack daddy like myself I would say hide it, on the otherhand you can say something like, i like to have a game with a few beers with the boys its like poker but more interesting (comparing it took poker for some reason makes it cool to women who don't know 40k or poker, which is most). and i can chill out when i paint em, helps me relax. I would however brush over it like its not a big deal and not dwell on it, my gf got me back into it but does not actually like it, i think the majority of girls don't from what i have experianced.

This kid has never had a GF


Be a man Never hide anything!!! YOU HEAR ME?!?! NO ONE LIKES A FAKE CHUMP COWARD WHO HIDES!!!!!!!!!

timetowaste85 wrote:

Why don't you just tell him to buy a blowup doll instead? It'll amount to the same thing. Many girls, even above the age of 17 like/love Twilight. If we all listened to that advice, we'd all have blowup dolls in the closet and worse under the bed. No details, do to fear of the MODquisition

Heh.

All of the females I know want to kill the entire Twilight franchise with fire.
I've read A twilight book - and I'd honestly rather read another Fabio bodiceripper than go through that again.

This includes the three 21 year olds (My niece and her goth friends).

My wife loathes it also (as do her friends, and our mutual friends).

It has struck a chord with a specific demographic - but they are not the same demographic who were into vampires 10 years ago.
There is the Vampire diaries/True Blood/Moonlight crowd and there is the Twilight crowd and there is nothing but bad blood between them.

this thread made my night. XD

But on a more serous note, don't be afraid of what you like to do. If she is showing you interest in the first place then obviously you shouldn't have to worry about your hobbies. Unless you have completely split personality you probably act just as nerdy around her with out even realizing it. Yes I do agree with some stuff, like don't need to bore her to death trying to explain the game and such. But telling her its a hobby you have is nothing bad. If she does go immature on you then Fudge her as a heretic. At your age there is hundreds of more options.

i just read ops question to my wife and she said without even blinking... "Hide that "

How old are you people anyway?

Yeah, playing 40K is your defining abilaty as a person. :-p Honestly I do not se what the big deal is.

But only tell her if it becomes a topic. It is not like you go towards people on the street and say hello my name is ben and I play warhammer 40K. I am just telling you because I think it is a fine way to start a conversation. :p

But dont let it get lying around. Warhammer models have a way of taking up huge space!