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Tell her. I don't hide warhammer from anyone, and the worst I have ever gotten is apathy.

Just explain like this:
It's a hobby that I use to pass the time.
I enjoy it.
Yes its really nerdy, and I'm ok with that.
No it does not take up all my free time (Ok lie about that one if is true)
This is usually when I pull out one of my best models and let them hold it, and it usually elicits a "wow thats really awesome! You actually painted this? You're really good." They usually lose most of the interest after that, and we move on with our lives.

I would suggest that, and if she doesn't like it, give her the middle finger and break up with her.

Jaon wrote:So, Smoke cigarettes and treat girls like gak and I will have a successful relationship?

Either that, or you will have 6 or 7 partners, 15 or so offspring scattered amongst them, a kick-ar5e 126cm plasma tv, a 1973 Mazda sedan and live in the outer western (or whereever they congregate in your city) suburbs. You'll be a bogan, but at the same time unaware of why this is bad.


ALL of my former girlfriends were aware I was a gamer, it didn't bother them.
My wife knew I was a gamer - likewise. I'm still a gamer. She calls me her geek.

I didn't chase girls in highschool or worry about the cool crowd though (played serious catchup in my 20s though). My school was full of idiots.
The school's priority was doing well in sporting endeavours.

I'm a girlfriend that got into the game in 1998 because a boyfriend I had at the time got me into it.

Girls don't care what your hobby is as long as you're confident about it. If you try to hide it, the problem I'll have is more with you than your hobby.

I've had two girlfriends who knew about me playing warhammer extensively. One sat down and painted my models with me, one looked at one and said "yeah, my friend warned me you painted toy figures but said it was cool. Ok."
And both of them cheated on me!!

On topic, high school people generally care what OTHERS think about them: telling her now may have bad side effects, but after you are comfortable in a relationship its probably okay to bring up: just bring up the creative, artistic side to it. But, once you get to college, people pay more attention to what THEY think, rather than what others think: I had a girl who lived across the hall from me in college think my models were the coolest thing ever in my third year. High school relationships hurt, but if it lasts long enough, and she really likes you for who you are, you won't have any problems. Good luck dude

Whether you want it to last a long time or not, it's good to tell her. It's good practice for when someone who really matters comes along. Good dating habits have to start somewhere.

My wife and I both play 40k she currently plays a Daemon army and i play a SW army. The hobby is actually for us a great way to relive stress and bond after a long day of kids, work and all of the other crap. We both just sit and paint our

armies and gab about the day while we watch a movie or listen to music (she like club stuff ). But as stated above confidence is always good to have as a gamer when it comes to the opposite sex i mean why be shy about what you do

its what you enjoy so be proud of it. Hiding the fact that you play wargames from a person because you want them to like you is not a good thing to do because if a person likes you it wont make a difference to them.

It's all about confidence. If you try to cover it up and act all ashamed about it, of course she's going to dump your ass because of it. It's not specifically because she's shallow, it's because you've no spine and no respect for yourself.

If you pass it off non-chalant and show confidence in yourself, she won't care at all. She might even be supportive.

Confidence is the greatest super power in the world. With it, you can sway damn near anything in your favour.

why is this such a big deal!?


here is a real answer. DON'T BE A FAKE

at any time you feel you need to hide yourself you messed up somewhere in your life and you need some help.

Fafnir wrote:It's all about confidence. If you try to cover it up and act all ashamed about it, of course she's going to dump your ass because of it. It's not specifically because she's shallow, it's because you've no spine and no respect for yourself.

If you pass it off non-chalant and show confidence in yourself, she won't care at all. She might even be supportive.

Confidence is the greatest super power in the world. With it, you can sway damn near anything in your favour.

Mega-Points

I agree with most of the opinions here that you should be confident. There's no need to bring it up immediately; probably it would be useful to make sure you really have other common interests, but eventually it would be a good thing to bring up.

What advice i would like to pass along is that while things seem important in high school, once you escape that awful four year span you will likely realize how little many of those things mattered. If things work out with this girl that's great, but if not, there's really no need to fret--there's a much larger world awaiting you once that diploma is in your hands.

You are in high school. There's only 1 thing you need to concern yourself with, do whatever you have to do to get to that 1 thing. If it's not tell her about war gaming then so be it. You know what I'm saying?

I told my fiancee I played it, but had quit, which was perfectly true, when we started dating. She laughed at me for playing it, but I ignored it. After we got engaged, I said I wanted to start playing again, and she was fine. I cop a funny comment every now and then. Women aren't as shallow as you think.

I'm assuming you're in high school
Don't "hide" it, just don't mention it. If she asks about it, tell her casually that it's a pretty nerdy game thing, where you get little plastic figures and paint them. If she says "like dungeons and dragons?" say "no, like chess." She'll probably then laugh it off. Just don't make it seem as important as it actually is

I started playing 40K back when Marines had beaks and we made tanks out of deodorant. This was when I was a sophomore in high school, smack dab in those tumultuous years you're going through now.

I had friends and girlfriends stumble across my hobby, but never once did I try to hide it. Why should I? It doesn't hurt anybody, it's relaxing (to me), and I enjoy listening to my CDs while fiddling with tiny fragile skeletons.

Ultimately, everybody has SOMETHING they enjoy to an extent other people might find weird. That's part of the mix that makes it so much fun to be around them. Is it any weirder than tying fly fishing lures? Recreating music video dance routines on youtube? Keeping up with the twitter accounts of the cast of Jersey Shore?

We live in a world now where young adults of both genders have never known a world without the Internet. Borders and Barnes & Noble have manga sections littered with lounging readers. Console gaming, World of Warcraft, Pokemon, Yu-Gi-Oh, and a hundred other "geek" pasttimes are now mainstream... or close enough to it to not be looked at askance.

Trust me, if you don't call people "bro" and treat her with respect, you'll be far enough ahead of the pack that some little plastic dudes won't torpedo you.

And though it's been said a few times, I want to stress this... DO NOT try to deceive her. Hiding it makes it shameful. She will either react to your fear ("if he thinks I should mock him for it, so maybe I should?") or react to your lack of trust in and respect for her. Be yourself. There's never really any reason not to be.

EDIT: I should add... gender doesn't have anything to do with appreciation of the game. Historically, wargaming has been male dominated primarily because a) wargamers tend to hide their enjoyment of the hobby, and congregate in dark, poorly lit FLGSs and b) the wargaming population tends to be somewhat skewed towards the less socially adept. So, assuming that a woman is open to the hobby, first she has to find out it exists, and then break through the awkward silence of the gamer gaggle. Usually, they feel like they're intruding, get embarrassed, and leave the store - and the hobby - behind. There's a weird lingering sense of taboo about boobs in a game shop that I never really understood. We, as gamers, have to get over the idea that our hobby is a stigma of nerdity or else nobody else will ever think otherwise.

When I look around, I see that there's a great opportunity for more young women to be recruited into the hobby. Anime, cosplay, EverQuest and WoW, and the console games have really broken a lot of ground. But because games like Warhammer are very strongly location bound (your basement, the FLGS, tournaments, the painting table), it's a lot harder for people to stumble onto it. So when you have a chance to make a first impression, it's best not to be ashamed of it.

/soapbox

If she can't handle what you like to do, then the relationship is a waste of time. If YOU can't handle what you like to do, then you've gotta learn to handle it. Not to be too harsh, though: I've been there, I remember high school. But seriously, man: feth the haters, you gotta do what you do.


Automatically Appended Next Post:

GamzaTheChaos wrote:why is this such a big deal!?


here is a real answer. DON'T BE A FAKE

at any time you feel you need to hide yourself you messed up somewhere in your life and you need some help.

QFT.

Is she good at painting? Then lather on the praise and reap rewards.

But, uh, yeah dude. Full disclosure is they way to go... unless you like to decive people who are important to you.

If she likes you, 40K won't get in the way of that. My girlfriend doesn't really care at all.

I did once try to explain the whole background starting from the Emperor to the Horus Heresy, and she barely got any of that.

You do have a chance that she might go cya later nerd and tell every one, or if you both really care for her and she does to you should understand!

Soo'Vah'Cha wrote:Don't make a big deal of it, act like it is just one of your hobbies, and thats that. But if she freaks and plays the imature card and judges you based on hobbies...well it was bound to happen over someting or the other with her, if not hobbies then fasion or friend choices etc... but thats the trials and tribulations of high school dating it gets better when you are older.
You just have to decide if she is worth hiding parts of your personality for.

Always breaks my heart to see people coming to a table top wargaming site for advice on girls. lol Another socially scared male in the making.

Im just kidding... (a little). some good tips on here and some awful ones. Honestly highschool is the most meaningless arbitrary social scene but it seems very important because of the whole teen horomonal factor. Just no matter what have fun and come out of it knowing that you didnt comprimise the person that you are just to appease someone else, have some pride, confidence in who you are is everything with women. But if you have to cover it up to get to the "fun" than by all means play it close to the chest them move along when your done. lol

This hobby is only as nerdy and geeky as you make it out to be. If you act coy and embarrassed about your models then that makes the hobby embarrassing by default. Conversely if you talk about it proudly and with confidence, her impression of the hobby will alter accordingly.

I'm not saying invite her round for a game (not a wargame at least ) but don't pack all your models up and hide them away whenever you smell her perfume. You never know, she might be innately interested in this new, artistic side of your personality.

The social stigma that surrounds wargaming is long overdue a good abolishment. It seems odd that people who play wargames on a tabletop for 2-3 hrs a week are nerds and geeks, but those who play Call of Duty for 5-6 hrs a day are 'cool'.

Such is life.

L. Wrex

Shas'O Dorian wrote:Women are the real life inquisition, the eye that sleepeth not, to them innocence proves nothing and the only way to absolve you is through pain & suffering. =I=

made my day. sigged.

Luckily when I met my GF I was just myself, 40k/Warcraft, you name it - it was on display in my room along with my sci-fi/fantasy books.

Long story short, if the girl is worth having she won't mind what your hobbies are

Don't expect her to join in though lol.

Laughing God wrote:

Soo'Vah'Cha wrote:Don't make a big deal of it, act like it is just one of your hobbies, and thats that. But if she freaks and plays the imature card and judges you based on hobbies...well it was bound to happen over someting or the other with her, if not hobbies then fasion or friend choices etc... but thats the trials and tribulations of high school dating it gets better when you are older.
You just have to decide if she is worth hiding parts of your personality for.

Always breaks my heart to see people coming to a table top wargaming site for advice on girls. lol Another socially scared male in the making.

Im just kidding... (a little). some good tips on here and some awful ones. Honestly highschool is the most meaningless arbitrary social scene but it seems very important because of the whole teen horomonal factor. Just no matter what have fun and come out of it knowing that you didnt comprimise the person that you are just to appease someone else, have some pride, confidence in who you are is everything with women. But if you have to cover it up to get to the "fun" than by all means play it close to the chest them move along when your done. lol

Doug we can't all usurp the social hierarchy like a rogue planetary governor lol, and as far as coming to a wargaming forum for advice, where else is he going to go? we are all people who share his hobby and have possibly been through situations he has not, this is probably the most appropriate place he could go.

As everyone else said, be open about it. Don't openly bring it up, but if she's coming over to visit, and sees your army or a few models around, and asks what they are, go ahead and tell her! If she's gonna dump you for doing that, then clearly she wasn't worth dating in the first place.

But in my experience movie high school stereotypes are a figment of Hollywood's imagination.

timetowaste85 wrote:I've had two girlfriends who knew about me playing warhammer extensively. One sat down and painted my models with me, one looked at one and said "yeah, my friend warned me you painted toy figures but said it was cool. Ok."
And both of them cheated on me!!

I lol'd. Hard.

L. Wrex

Well my ex girlfriend with whom i was together for more than 6 years accepted my hobby and didn't give me any problems with it and even she liked to participate in it from time to time.

My recent girlfriend is into 40K as much as I am, she owns two armies so we've got no problem with eachother in this topic. I have to mention that she started collecting armies when I did and that was about 3 years ago (we weren't together then, though).

If it's a hobby then there is no shame in hiding it from anybody (well except, when you collect girl underwear or something ).

If she has a problem with you collecting "plasic little men" and that it is "immature" then tell her, that it is a great hobby that bonds generations together and is more mature than most other hobbies (like collecting stamps for example), cause it makes you being creative and developes many new skills.

If that doesn't work then she's not worthy your attention anyway .

PS. If she says such things then counter attack her with this:
"In defense I can tell you that going to parties and getting smashed aint a hobby"

Wait, 40k isn't cool?!?

I think the problem is 40k is a bit like masturbating: you do it lots when younger and it's great fun, but if the girlfriend catches you she just won't see the appeal...

Daedricbob wrote:Wait, 40k isn't cool?!?

I think the problem is 40k is a bit like masturbating: you do it lots when younger and it's great fun, but if the girlfriend catches you she just won't see the appeal...

Or she gives you a hand with it.

Tell her about it but hide the fact that it is a MEQ army
Say it's something awesome.. like Orks. She will love you and you will get an auto ticket into the cool crowd

last time i told my GF that i play WH40K then showed her my smurfs...... She asked if there's a female variation. I pointed at the witch hunter on the website
Next Birthday she remind me that she want a box of those nuns

so yeah, take the chance