Forum adverts like this one are shown to any user who is not logged in. Join us by filling out a tiny 3 field form and you will get your own, free, dakka user account which gives a good range of benefits to you: No adverts like this in the forums anymore. Times and dates in your local timezone. Full tracking of what you have read so you can skip to your first unread post, easily see what has changed since you last logged in, and easily see what is new at a glance. Email notifications for threads you want to watch closely. Being a part of the oldest wargaming community on the net. If you are already a member then feel free to login now.

dear dakka,

I have recently been going out with this girl and she has seen the paint pots in my room but thinks there from when I was little because so far she hasn't seen my beloved blood angels. she is going to find out eventually what these "little dudes" are. ( she saw a random marine lying on my floor) she is part of the "cool crowd" at my school and I dont want to blow it with her. should I explain what my 40k models are or just try to hide it for as long as I can.....please note I am only a high school freshman.

Hide that ...unless your feeling strong...then just tell her

My suggestion is you explain about them.

If your scared of her reacting badly explain them from the modeling and painting side of it rather than the gaming side. To be honest you having Warhammer shouldn't destroy your relationship with her if your serious about one another.

I can't say for a fact what is best for you, but I can say what happened with me and my then girlfriend (now she's my fiance X3), I explained them from a painting and modelling angle then introduced her to the gaming side of it and as a result she is right now planning to buy her own army (though she's getting Fantasy Bretonnians)

Good luck, hopefully she'll be understanding.

bloodjunkey wrote:dear dakka,

I have recently been going out with this girl and she has seen the paint pots in my room but thinks there from when I was little because so far she hasn't seen my beloved blood angels. she is going to find out eventually what these "little dudes" are. ( she saw a random marine lying on my floor) she is part of the "cool crowd" at my school and I dont want to blow it with her. should I explain what my 40k models are or just try to hide it for as long as I can.....please note I am only a high school freshman.

Hmmm the thing is this sounds very familar. But hide it mate. As long as possible. But when you think she is worth it. RISK IT. Also your not from IL are you?
Unless you tell her you are an awesome painter.

You can't really expect a successful relationship if you're covering up your hobby, and by extension an aspect of who you are. When you tell her, try to play up the artistic aspect. If she dumps you because of your hobby, is she really worth dating?

Any girl worth giving up your hobby for wouldn't ask you to do so in the first place. Just keep that in mind. Just tell her "It's nerdy but it makes me happy" and roll with it. Being yourself goes a long way.

My girl of the last 3 years encourages and occasionally enables my hobby - I've gotten a good handful of models over the years from her!

Treat it like any other hobby. If she asks, tell her what SHE wants to know, not what you think she should know. Alot of girls here are actually very interested in warhammer, the only thing stopping them being the price.

Don't make a big deal of it, act like it is just one of your hobbies, and thats that. But if she freaks and plays the imature card and judges you based on hobbies...well it was bound to happen over someting or the other with her, if not hobbies then fasion or friend choices etc... but thats the trials and tribulations of high school dating it gets better when you are older.
You just have to decide if she is worth hiding parts of your personality for.

Tell her it's european. High school chicks dig that.

Alphapod wrote:You can't really expect a successful relationship if you're covering up your hobby, and by extension an aspect of who you are. When you tell her, try to play up the artistic aspect. If she dumps you because of your hobby, is she really worth dating?

You can't expect a successful relationship in highschool period.

feth her on the weekdays and play 40k on the weekend. Problem solved.

Hallowed_Da'Credo wrote:Tell her it's european. High school chicks dig that.

Lol. Yeah right, Unless if they european.

Advice is going to be split on this one, and gamers are basically the WORST people to ask. Basically comes down to what you want out of the relationship.

If you love her and want it to last a long time, she will have to be told at some point, or will find out on her own. Obviously wait a few weeks/months so you have some idea if it will flip her out, and it might...the whole playing with toy soldiers aspect can really scream immaturity to some women, not to mention the standard gaming crowd is....not cool. Basically, I wouldn't consider telling her until AFTER the whole "meet my parents/family dinner" stage is well passed.

If you want to basically use her for some cheap short term fun and maybe as a means to work your way into the "cool" crowd, you'd be out of your mind to tell her...EVER, as it will be a weapon to be used against you when the relationship has run it's course.

You can't expect a successful relationship in highschool period.

Agreed, especially freshman year. I'd learn towards short term fun personally, but I'm a jaded old man.

Also, don't tell her you play Blood Angels...aka the sparkly vampire emo boys of Warhammer 40k.

Carnage43 wrote:Advice is going to be split on this one, and gamers are basically the WORST people to ask. Basically comes down to what you want out of the relationship.

If you love her and want it to last a long time, she will have to be told at some point, or will find out on her own. Obviously wait a few weeks/months so you have some idea if it will flip her out, and it might...the whole playing with toy soldiers aspect can really scream immaturity to some women, not to mention the standard gaming crowd is....not cool. Basically, I wouldn't consider telling her until AFTER the whole "meet my parents/family dinner" stage is well passed.

If you want to basically use her for some cheap short term fun and maybe as a means to work your way into the "cool" crowd, you'd be out of your mind to tell her...EVER, as it will be a weapon to be used against you when the relationship has run it's course.

You can't expect a successful relationship in highschool period.

Agreed, especially freshman year. I'd learn towards short term fun personally, but I'm a jaded old man.

Also, don't tell her you play Blood Angels...aka the sparkly vampire emo boys of Warhammer 40k.

Thats not true I know a couple that has been together since the first day of freshmen year. O.o

I really like her so it's not some cheap schem to get into the "cool crowd"

Hallowed_Da'Credo wrote:Tell her it's european. High school chicks dig that.

I feel like that may be fading out though. When I walk around with my leather jacket, hat, and scarf people don't think "He's got a European fashion sense", they call me gay. : /

bloodjunkey wrote:I really like her so it's not some cheap schem to get into the "cool crowd"

Are you from IL? because this sounds very familiar to me. Not going to lie it does.
But yes I can see that you would not want to. Hell I named the cool crowd - the bitch club. As they are real jerks to everyone in my grade of course originally i didn't know who they were but I narrowed it down.

no I'm from MA but the cool crowd isn't that cruel....but I can song so BAM....

Azure wrote:

Hallowed_Da'Credo wrote:Tell her it's european. High school chicks dig that.

I feel like that may be fading out though. When I walk around with my leather jacket, hat, and scarf people don't think "He's got a European fashion sense", they call me gay. : /

J, that's cuz you don't smoke your cigarettes like a european or treat girls like "gak" Thats the key to a successful relationship.

Option 1: You are only interested in the short term "High-school-relationship" that will probably end in a year or two, definitely when you go to different colleges.

Option 2: You actually care about this person and want to try & make things last.

For option one, hide it.

For option two, tell her maybe not right now, but don't try to hide it forever. Be open, be honest (Girls hate guys who lie) & if she can't accept you for who you are then she isn't worth it and there are probably other reasons you two will break up. If you think you can hide something forever you can't. Women are the real life inquisition, the eye that sleepeth not, to them innocence proves nothing and the only way to absolve you is through pain & suffering. =I=

So, Smoke cigarettes and treat girls like gak and I will have a successful relationship?

Hallowed_Da'Credo wrote:

Azure wrote:

Hallowed_Da'Credo wrote:Tell her it's european. High school chicks dig that.

I feel like that may be fading out though. When I walk around with my leather jacket, hat, and scarf people don't think "He's got a European fashion sense", they call me gay. : /

J, that's cuz you don't smoke your cigarettes like a european or treat girls like "gak" Thats the key to a successful relationship.

So I should just casually walk around campus, cigarette in mouth, smacking any women who back talk my having a smoke?

My girlfriends actually really cool with 40k. It's all about how YOU play it off. With my ex, I tried to not bring it up because I was afraid of being ridiculed and that kind of reflected into her judgement of it (though she was kinda unpleasant anyway). With my current gf I was much more relaxed about my hobby and she's way more supportive. She's bought me stuff for my birthday as a surprise and has gone with me to my FLGS a bunch of times actually when I wanted to go pickup something.

Confidence is the word. Good luck.

Shas'O Dorian wrote:Option 1: You are only interested in the short term "High-school-relationship" that will probably end in a year or two, definitely when you go to different colleges.

Option 2: You actually care about this person and want to try & make things last.

For option one, hide it.

For option two, tell her maybe not right now, but don't try to hide it forever. Be open, be honest (Girls hate guys who lie) & if she can't accept you for who you are then she isn't worth it and there are probably other reasons you two will break up. If you think you can hide something forever you can't. Women are the real life inquisition, the eye that sleepeth not, to them innocence proves nothing and the only way to absolve you is through pain & suffering. =I=

That is beautiful. Sig'd.

Shas'O Dorian wrote:Option 1: You are only interested in the short term "High-school-relationship" that will probably end in a year or two, definitely when you go to different colleges.

Option 2: You actually care about this person and want to try & make things last.

For option one, hide it.

For option two, tell her maybe not right now, but don't try to hide it forever. Be open, be honest (Girls hate guys who lie) & if she can't accept you for who you are then she isn't worth it and there are probably other reasons you two will break up. If you think you can hide something forever you can't. Women are the real life inquisition, the eye that sleepeth not, to them innocence proves nothing and the only way to absolve you is through pain & suffering. =I=

Gosh darn i have seen two quotes that I love in this thread. this one is epic. And I agree with it. But anyway this is true. But Girls don't like it when you completely and utterly tell the truth.

I would never suggest violence towards women. But if you have to do it, it will make you popular with the ladies.
And to the OP, don't take any of our dumb advice. Think about it tonight, sleep on it, and always remember,
You're playing with toy soldiers.

Hallowed_Da'Credo wrote:I would never suggest violence towards women. But if you have to do it, it will make you popular with the ladies.
And to the OP, don't take any of our dumb advice. Think about it tonight, sleep on it, and always remember,
You're playing with toy soldiers.

I smell a troller.

I am trying to help, but I forge steel through fire.

I actually haven't told my girlfriend I play, I think I've hinted at it, but whatever... or maybe its my obession with nethack that shes fully aware of... whatever!

now that I think about it, as she lays on my bed playing my pokemon pearl game, I'm not too worried about when she does find 2000 points of Eldar .

generally I've found people just don't care .

but seriously, You'll be best off if you don't explain it or justify it- as those are signs of doubt. She'll respect it if its just something about you, and you couldn't care less about what other people think about you. If anybody gives you gak, just give em the finger.

It's a stigma every guy thinks they have with girls. My friend managed to go a whole year thinking the girl he likes would think less of him if she knew he liked Warhammer (ironically, the girl is a huge anime fan and cosplays regularly. And that's no secret). I met her for about 2 days before I started talking about warhammer. Me friend tried to shush me up but then the girl took interest in it.

You never know. If you're afraid, then just be casual about it. At my old highschool I rarely hang out with the cool crowd, mainly because they're all a bunch of chatty gits who make lame sex jokes every half-minute. One day I was playing a game at the local GW center and they walked in. Exactly 3 minutes later they started playing on the table next to me with the introductory sets the manager had left out. These guys were the stereotype for "Cool" kids: Jocks, worried about clothing and appearances, latest tech, talking about guys/girls/music and pop culture, etc... Just shows you never know.

"40K and your girlfriend"

I have no experience with one of those subjects.