12-year-old cyber-bully victim commits suicide

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**Ahtman**

You don't need 'victim reaction' as long as you are getting some kind of reaction, and if you are posting on social media site the odds are someone will be reacting, even if it is someone saying to leave him/her alone or others encouraging them. Any form or audience will do, not just the victim.

**Inquisitor Ehrenstein**

For some reason this makes me think of Bloodreaper... It would not have anything to do with his cyberbullying my Autistic friend in any way.

**-Shrike-**

BuFFo wrote:
cincydooley wrote:
Okay, so I'll ask the stupid question:

Is it really so hard to turn off the computer? I mean, really.

Actually, yes, it is.

When I read these threads, I see a bunch of old people who are out of touch with the complex social situations of young children.

My niece is 18. When she was 5, she had her own phone and other electronic devices. That was around 1999. Now imagine a 12 year old. Roughly, people who are 20 years or younger have lived and are living a life COCOONED within technology and online society. Sorry to be the bearer of new news, but times have changed my old grump friends.

Kids live a life enveloped within online social tendrils that permeates their entire lives to an extend we never did. When 'we' were bullied (I am 33) it was typically either at school, or at worst, in my neighborhood, outside my house. You know what kind of fear I lived in? I lived in fear of going to school and seeing the people bullying me on the bus, during recess, and after school. That was it. When I was HOME, I was safe. I played with my nintendo, gi joes, my next door neighbor, swam in my pool, etc... I had sanctuary to keep me safe and sane.

You know what kind of sanctuary these kids have now a days? None. Kids go home and everything social is done on their computers, on their phones, their handheld devices. Kids are wrapped in their social lives 24/7, literally. It is all around them, and they really can't escape it. The only way life when we were kids came close to this is when people called our house constantly, but eventually our parents would tell them to stop, or call their parents and that would normally end.

Kids these days don't have it that easy. They log on their computer to do research for the homework their teachers gave them, and they are receiving constant bombardment of hate and evil beeping, never ending. Alert! Jan says kill yourself. Alert! Jamahl wants you to die! Email! Marrissa says you are ugly and you aren't invited to any birthday parties in the neighborhood.

Basically, kids live in a world most of you say you understand, but obviously don't, due to the ignorant remarks always made here about "toughen up" or "turn your electronics off and play with dirt in the yard". Times are always changing, and 12 year olds have to live with the change, not us. How about we be a little more enlightened here?

I'm 16, and the only interaction I have with people on the Internet is on a couple of forums which cannot be traced back to me (without some serious work). It's possible to distance yourself from it in such a way that you are almost looking at the Internet though a mirror - no one you know can find you.

I'm not disagreeing with you as such, I'm just pointing out that it is definitely possible to avoid the barrage of hate you mentioned above whilst still being able to use the internet.

**motyak**

Inquisitor Ehrenstein wrote:
For some reason this makes me think of Bloodreaper... It would not have anything to do with his cyberbullying my Autistic friend in any way.

You need to provide irrefutable proof of this, or else you are just slandering another user in a very serious way, which is against Dakka's rules.

**Inquisitor Ehrenstein**

motyak wrote:
Inquisitor Ehrenstein wrote:
For some reason this makes me think of Bloodreaper... It would not have anything to do with his cyberbullying my Autistic friend in any way.

You need to provide irrefutable proof of this, or else you are just slandering another user in a very serious way, which is against Dakka's rules.

That would involve posting his dox. Besides, he already posted harassing comments against him here.

**-Shrike-**

Dox? Could you explain?

**motyak**

Inquisitor Ehrenstein wrote:
motyak wrote:
Inquisitor Ehrenstein wrote:
For some reason this makes me think of Bloodreaper... It would not have anything to do with his cyberbullying my Autistic friend in any way.

You need to provide irrefutable proof of this, or else you are just slandering another user in a very serious way, which is against Dakka's rules.

That would involve posting his dox. Besides, he already posted harassing comments against him here.

Whereabouts? I haven't seen him cyberbully an autistic person, but I may have just missed the posts. You should link to it. Until you do, your justification is "I can totally prove it but I won't", which isn't good enough.

**BuFFo**

-Shrike- wrote:
BuFFo wrote:
cincydooley wrote:
Okay, so I'll ask the stupid question:

Is it really so hard to turn off the computer? I mean, really.

Actually, yes, it is.

When I read these threads, I see a bunch of old people who are out of touch with the complex social situations of young children.

My niece is 18. When she was 5, she had her own phone and other electronic devices. That was around 1999. Now imagine a 12 year old. Roughly, people who are 20 years or younger have lived and are living a life COCOONED within technology and online society. Sorry to be the bearer of new news, but times have changed my old grump friends.

Kids live a life enveloped within online social tendrils that permeates their entire lives to an extend we never did. When 'we' were bullied (I am 33) it was typically either at school, or at worst, in my neighborhood, outside my house. You know what kind of fear I lived in? I lived in fear of going to school and seeing the people bullying me on the bus, during recess, and after school. That was it. When I was HOME, I was safe. I played with my nintendo, gi joes, my next door neighbor, swam in my pool, etc... I had sanctuary to keep me safe and sane.

You know what kind of sanctuary these kids have now a days? None. Kids go home and everything social is done on their computers, on their phones, their handheld devices. Kids are wrapped in their social lives 24/7, literally. It is all around them, and they really can't escape it. The only way life when we were kids came close to this is when people called our house constantly, but eventually our parents would tell them to stop, or call their parents and that would normally end.

Kids these days don't have it that easy. They log on their computer to do research for the homework their teachers gave them, and they are receiving constant bombardment of hate and evil beeping, never ending. Alert! Jan says kill yourself. Alert! Jamahl wants you to die! Email! Marrissa says you are ugly and you aren't invited to any birthday parties in the neighborhood.

Basically, kids live in a world most of you say you understand, but obviously don't, due to the ignorant remarks always made here about "toughen up" or "turn your electronics off and play with dirt in the yard". Times are always changing, and 12 year olds have to live with the change, not us. How about we be a little more enlightened here?

I'm 16, and the only interaction I have with people on the Internet is on a couple of forums which cannot be traced back to me (without some serious work). It's possible to distance yourself from it in such a way that you are almost looking at the Internet though a mirror - no one you know can find you.

I'm not disagreeing with you as such, I'm just pointing out that it is definitely possible to avoid the barrage of hate you mentioned above whilst still being able to use the internet.

And I hope you understand the simple fact that you and the life you lead are not the 12 year old girl and the life she led. Most young people live online, heck, most people I know 30 - 40 years old live online in today's world.

**Inquisitor Ehrenstein**

motyak wrote:
Inquisitor Ehrenstein wrote:
motyak wrote:
Inquisitor Ehrenstein wrote:
For some reason this makes me think of Bloodreaper... It would not have anything to do with his cyberbullying my Autistic friend in any way.

You need to provide irrefutable proof of this, or else you are just slandering another user in a very serious way, which is against Dakka's rules.

That would involve posting his dox. Besides, he already posted harassing comments against him here.

Whereabouts? I haven't seen him cyberbully an autistic person, but I may have just missed the posts. You should link to it. Until you do, your justification is "I can totally prove it but I won't", which isn't good enough.

He vandalized the gak out of a wiki that I made for my friend.

**-Shrike-**

BuFFo wrote:
-Shrike- wrote:
BuFFo wrote:
cincydooley wrote:
Okay, so I'll ask the stupid question:

Is it really so hard to turn off the computer? I mean, really.

Actually, yes, it is.

When I read these threads, I see a bunch of old people who are out of touch with the complex social situations of young children.

My niece is 18. When she was 5, she had her own phone and other electronic devices. That was around 1999. Now imagine a 12 year old. Roughly, people who are 20 years or younger have lived and are living a life COCOONED within technology and online society. Sorry to be the bearer of new news, but times have changed my old grump friends.

Kids live a life enveloped within online social tendrils that permeates their entire lives to an extend we never did. When 'we' were bullied (I am 33) it was typically either at school, or at worst, in my neighborhood, outside my house. You know what kind of fear I lived in? I lived in fear of going to school and seeing the people bullying me on the bus, during recess, and after school. That was it. When I was HOME, I was safe. I played with my nintendo, gi joes, my next door neighbor, swam in my pool, etc... I had sanctuary to keep me safe and sane.

You know what kind of sanctuary these kids have now a days? None. Kids go home and everything social is done on their computers, on their phones, their handheld devices. Kids are wrapped in their social lives 24/7, literally. It is all around them, and they really can't escape it. The only way life when we were kids came close to this is when people called our house constantly, but eventually our parents would tell them to stop, or call their parents and that would normally end.

Kids these days don't have it that easy. They log on their computer to do research for the homework their teachers gave them, and they are receiving constant bombardment of hate and evil beeping, never ending. Alert! Jan says kill yourself. Alert! Jamahl wants you to die! Email! Marrissa says you are ugly and you aren't invited to any birthday parties in the neighborhood.

Basically, kids live in a world most of you say you understand, but obviously don't, due to the ignorant remarks always made here about "toughen up" or "turn your electronics off and play with dirt in the yard". Times are always changing, and 12 year olds have to live with the change, not us. How about we be a little more enlightened here?

I'm 16, and the only interaction I have with people on the Internet is on a couple of forums which cannot be traced back to me (without some serious work). It's possible to distance yourself from it in such a way that you are almost looking at the Internet though a mirror - no one you know can find you.

I'm not disagreeing with you as such, I'm just pointing out that it is definitely possible to avoid the barrage of hate you mentioned above whilst still being able to use the internet.

And I hope you understand the simple fact that you and the life you lead are not the 12 year old girl and the life she led. Most young people live online, heck, most people I know 30 - 40 years old live online in today's world.

I know, I understand people like me are relatively uncommon. I just don't like absolutes in this context; it's not impossible to extricate yourself from the Internet, although I realise that for a lot of people, it's very hard.

Automatically Appended Next Post:

Inquisitor Ehrenstein wrote:
motyak wrote:
Inquisitor Ehrenstein wrote:
motyak wrote:
Inquisitor Ehrenstein wrote:
For some reason this makes me think of Bloodreaper... It would not have anything to do with his cyberbullying my Autistic friend in any way.

You need to provide irrefutable proof of this, or else you are just slandering another user in a very serious way, which is against Dakka's rules.

That would involve posting his dox. Besides, he already posted harassing comments against him here.

Whereabouts? I haven't seen him cyberbully an autistic person, but I may have just missed the posts. You should link to it. Until you do, your justification is "I can totally prove it but I won't", which isn't good enough.

He vandalized the gak out of a wiki that I made for my friend.

Is this the wiki in your sig?

**motyak**

Inquisitor Ehrenstein wrote:
motyak wrote:
Inquisitor Ehrenstein wrote:
motyak wrote:
Inquisitor Ehrenstein wrote:
For some reason this makes me think of Bloodreaper... It would not have anything to do with his cyberbullying my Autistic friend in any way.

You need to provide irrefutable proof of this, or else you are just slandering another user in a very serious way, which is against Dakka's rules.

That would involve posting his dox. Besides, he already posted harassing comments against him here.

Whereabouts? I haven't seen him cyberbully an autistic person, but I may have just missed the posts. You should link to it. Until you do, your justification is "I can totally prove it but I won't", which isn't good enough.

He vandalized the gak out of a wiki that I made for my friend.

The proof, it is missing.

**Ensis Ferrae**

BuFFo wrote:
-Shrike- wrote:
BuFFo wrote:
cincydooley wrote:
Okay, so I'll ask the stupid question:

Is it really so hard to turn off the computer? I mean, really.

Actually, yes, it is.

When I read these threads, I see a bunch of old people who are out of touch with the complex social situations of young children.

My niece is 18. When she was 5, she had her own phone and other electronic devices. That was around 1999. Now imagine a 12 year old. Roughly, people who are 20 years or younger have lived and are living a life COCOONED within technology and online society. Sorry to be the bearer of new news, but times have changed my old grump friends.

Kids live a life enveloped within online social tendrils that permeates their entire lives to an extend we never did. When 'we' were bullied (I am 33) it was typically either at school, or at worst, in my neighborhood, outside my house. You know what kind of fear I lived in? I lived in fear of going to school and seeing the people bullying me on the bus, during recess, and after school. That was it. When I was HOME, I was safe. I played with my nintendo, gi joes, my next door neighbor, swam in my pool, etc... I had sanctuary to keep me safe and sane.

You know what kind of sanctuary these kids have now a days? None. Kids go home and everything social is done on their computers, on their phones, their handheld devices. Kids are wrapped in their social lives 24/7, literally. It is all around them, and they really can't escape it. The only way life when we were kids came close to this is when people called our house constantly, but eventually our parents would tell them to stop, or call their parents and that would normally end.

Kids these days don't have it that easy. They log on their computer to do research for the homework their teachers gave them, and they are receiving constant bombardment of hate and evil beeping, never ending. Alert! Jan says kill yourself. Alert! Jamahl wants you to die! Email! Marrissa says you are ugly and you aren't invited to any birthday parties in the neighborhood.

Basically, kids live in a world most of you say you understand, but obviously don't, due to the ignorant remarks always made here about "toughen up" or "turn your electronics off and play with dirt in the yard". Times are always changing, and 12 year olds have to live with the change, not us. How about we be a little more enlightened here?

I'm 16, and the only interaction I have with people on the Internet is on a couple of forums which cannot be traced back to me (without some serious work). It's possible to distance yourself from it in such a way that you are almost looking at the Internet though a mirror - no one you know can find you.

I'm not disagreeing with you as such, I'm just pointing out that it is definitely possible to avoid the barrage of hate you mentioned above whilst still being able to use the internet.

And I hope you understand the simple fact that you and the life you lead are not the 12 year old girl and the life she led. Most young people live online, heck, most people I know 30 - 40 years old live online in today's world.

I don't like dealing in absolutes either... BUT there are SO MANY outlets out there for people who feel they are being bullied... There's sports like Rugby, where here in the States you don't need any great athletic ability to play, just the wilingness to show up, put in the work and be a good teammate. There's various drama clubs, reading clubs, etc. there are outlets that do not involve the internet where those who don't fit in with various idiotic social circles can go, and get support and care from like minded individuals.

Yes, there are adult bullies, I've personally seen this happen, even within the military. This is unfortunately a part of life, but there are ALWAYS positive ways to deal with it, suicide should never, ever be on the table.

**Inquisitor Ehrenstein**

motyak wrote:
Inquisitor Ehrenstein wrote:
motyak wrote:
Inquisitor Ehrenstein wrote:
motyak wrote:
Inquisitor Ehrenstein wrote:
For some reason this makes me think of Bloodreaper... It would not have anything to do with his cyberbullying my Autistic friend in any way.

You need to provide irrefutable proof of this, or else you are just slandering another user in a very serious way, which is against Dakka's rules.

That would involve posting his dox. Besides, he already posted harassing comments against him here.

Whereabouts? I haven't seen him cyberbully an autistic person, but I may have just missed the posts. You should link to it. Until you do, your justification is "I can totally prove it but I won't", which isn't good enough.

He vandalized the gak out of a wiki that I made for my friend.

The proof, it is missing.

"Proof" would require that I post his personal information, which I will not.

**motyak**

Inquisitor Ehrenstein wrote:

"Proof" would require that I post his personal information, which I will not.

Then don't come slinging mud if all you have to go on is 'its totally the case'. But its clear that you won't, so I'm out.

**Inquisitor Ehrenstein**

motyak wrote:
Inquisitor Ehrenstein wrote:

"Proof" would require that I post his personal information, which I will not.

Then don't come slinging mud if all you have to go on is 'its totally the case'. But its clear that you won't, so I'm out.

He posted in a discussion on Dakka about how hilarious the trolling was, that I shouldn't undo it, and "speculated" about methods the vandal was using to get around IP blocks. He also confessed on my Sturmkrieg talk page.

**Alfndrate**

Inquisitor Ehrenstein wrote:
motyak wrote:
Inquisitor Ehrenstein wrote:

"Proof" would require that I post his personal information, which I will not.

Then don't come slinging mud if all you have to go on is 'its totally the case'. But its clear that you won't, so I'm out.

He posted in a discussion on Dakka about how hilarious the trolling was, that I shouldn't undo it, and "speculated" about methods the vandal was using to get around IP blocks. He also confessed on my Sturmkrieg talk page.

Then help your friend get the coping methods so he can deal with it... You spout the same stuff in all of these bullying threads and it always boils down to, "I'm not going to give you the proof you need, so you just have to believe me, because reasons."

Jesus dude...

**d-usa**

People who complain about being bullied are weak and too stupid to cope with it. Let me complain about bullying though...

**Alfndrate**

d-usa wrote:
Let me complain about bullying though...

Spoiler:

This cat says it far better than I do.

**SlaveToDorkness**

Alfndrate wrote:
Inquisitor Ehrenstein wrote:
motyak wrote:
Inquisitor Ehrenstein wrote:

"Proof" would require that I post his personal information, which I will not.

Then don't come slinging mud if all you have to go on is 'its totally the case'. But its clear that you won't, so I'm out.

He posted in a discussion on Dakka about how hilarious the trolling was, that I shouldn't undo it, and "speculated" about methods the vandal was using to get around IP blocks. He also confessed on my Sturmkrieg talk page.

Then help your friend get the coping methods so he can deal with it... You spout the same stuff in all of these bullying threads and it always boils down to, "I'm not going to give you the proof you need, so you just have to believe me, because reasons."

Jesus dude...

There is a good reason the 'Ignore' function exists. Unless someone continually quotes them...

**cadbren**

cincydooley wrote:
Okay, so I'll ask the stupid question:

Is it really so hard to turn off the computer? I mean, really.

Yes it is. Have you not seen how much time many younger people spend online? Desktops, laptops, cellphones, ipads, getting online is easy and many heavily socialise this way.
Heck, people break up with text messages, some people have even been fired via text or email - yes they do get compensation for wrongful dismissal but society is a changing and not all for the better.

As for being bullied as an adult - happens all the time in the workforce. People don't stop being jerks when they leave school. Not exactly bullying, but something that is common is people badmouthing the quality of work in the hopes that they'll get more work (for free) from the person who did the work. The idea being that they'll feel embarassed that their work wasn't good enough so they put in extra to make up except of cource that there was nothing wrong with their work. Customers also do this to try and get more work out of a tradesman or get a reduced bill.

**dogma**

d-usa wrote:
The bullied kid can turn have every single one of their electronic devices turned off, no problem there.

I thought Marcuse was dead.

**Imposter101**

Inquisitor Ehrenstein wrote:
For some reason this makes me think of Bloodreaper... It would not have anything to do with his cyberbullying my Autistic friend in any way.

Your forgetting that Bloodrepear had Aspergers right? And you made a page lying about him on your wiki? And you asked when he was trolling, if you should even help Dark Emperor with the wiki, which he never actually visited. You also seem to assume everyone was knowledge that your friend had autism.

Truly, a evil mastermind.

**reds8n**

We can drop the off topic posts abut what did or didn't happen on a different site.

Further such posts will be treated as spam.

**Inquisitor Ehrenstein**

If someone is bullying you, offer to make them a website. If they thank you, tell them that you'll add every racist/sexist/homophobic/ableist thing they ever said, and ask them if they plan to get into college or job that does background checks. If they threaten you, point out that you're the only person who would be able to remove anything from the website.

You can register .tk domain names for free at my.dot.tk.

You can also create permanent free websites at sites.google.com.

**Ahtman**

Inquisitor Ehrenstein wrote:
tell them that you'll add every racist/sexist/homophobic/ableist thing they ever said, and ask them if they plan to get into college or job that does background checks.

And then they can sue for tortuous interference and libel where you can have fun trying to prove everything said was actually said and not you being bitter. I'm sure that would do wonders for your own college application. I think we can do better than 'become what you hate'.

**djones520**

Ahtman wrote:
Inquisitor Ehrenstein wrote:
tell them that you'll add every racist/sexist/homophobic/ableist thing they ever said, and ask them if they plan to get into college or job that does background checks.

And then they can sue for tortuous interference and libel where you can have fun trying to prove everything said was actually said and not you being bitter. I'm sure that would do wonders for your own college application. I think we can do better than 'become what you hate'.

Well said.

**Mr. Burning**

Ahtman wrote:
Inquisitor Ehrenstein wrote:
tell them that you'll add every racist/sexist/homophobic/ableist thing they ever said, and ask them if they plan to get into college or job that does background checks.

And then they can sue for tortuous interference and libel where you can have fun trying to prove everything said was actually said and not you being bitter. I'm sure that would do wonders for your own college application. I think we can do better than 'become what you hate'.

The laws of the land giving a helping hand to victim blaming...

As pointed out though. It's not that easy to stop a bully.

**Ensis Ferrae**

Ahtman wrote:
Inquisitor Ehrenstein wrote:
tell them that you'll add every racist/sexist/homophobic/ableist thing they ever said, and ask them if they plan to get into college or job that does background checks.

And then they can sue for tortuous interference and libel where you can have fun trying to prove everything said was actually said and not you being bitter. I'm sure that would do wonders for your own college application. I think we can do better than 'become what you hate'.

Unless of course, you have audio recordings of this going on, eye witness sworn statements/afidavits, etc.

But yeah.. to go through all that, its better to not do that, as Ahtman points out.

**d-usa**

reds8n wrote:
We can drop the off topic posts abut what did or didn't happen on a different site.

Further such posts will be treated as spam.

Am I the only one that can read red text?

**Imposter101**

Inquisitor Ehrenstein wrote:
If someone is bullying you, offer to make them a website. If they thank you, tell them that you'll add every racist/sexist/homophobic/ableist thing they ever said, and ask them if they plan to get into college or job that does background checks. If they threaten you, point out that you're the only person who would be able to remove anything from the website.

You can register .tk domain names for free at my.dot.tk.

You can also create permanent free websites at sites.google.com.

Inquisitor, if you have a problem with trolls, instead of pointing, lying, crying, exaggerating and berating, while you list the bad and mean things they've done on some sad revenge website, or trying to get Dakka as your personal army, or be increasingly spiteful and aggressive.....

DON'T FEED THE TROLLS.

Doing so will pretty much led to further trolling. Also, on a further note, more topic orientated note.

Most of the time, cyber bullying will not just end if one turns away from the computer. Most of the time, it's started within an environment such as a school, were it's simply go on until someone steps in, or something like this occurs.