12-year-old cyber-bully victim commits suicide

Forum adverts like this one are shown to any user who is not logged in. Join us by filling out a tiny 3 field form and you will get your own, free, dakka user account which gives a good range of benefits to you:

No adverts like this in the forums anymore.
Times and dates in your local timezone.
Full tracking of what you have read so you can skip to your first unread post, easily see what has changed since you last logged in, and easily see what is new at a glance.
Email notifications for threads you want to watch closely.
Being a part of the oldest wargaming community on the net.

If you are already a member then feel free to login now.

**Gentleman_Jellyfish**

http://america.aljazeera.com/articles/2013/9/12/bullied-12-year-oldusgirlcommitssuicide.html

A 12-year-old Florida girl has committed suicide after she was allegedly bullied online by more than a dozen other girls, and a sheriff said Thursday that he is investigating whether he can file charges under a new state law that deals with cyber-bullying. The case follows several suicides by teens who were bullied through anonymous trolling on social media websites.

Sheriff Grady Judd said that Rebecca Ann Sedwick jumped to her death on Monday at an old cement facility in Lakeland, Fla. Investigators said she had been despondent after other girls had posted hateful messages about her online.

Sedwick was "absolutely terrorized on social media," Judd said.

The Lakeland Ledger reported that detectives found multiple social media applications in which Sedwick was frequently bullied with messages including "Go kill yourself," and "Why are you still alive?"

Judd said that the parents of all 15 girls believed to have been involved in the bullying have cooperated with detectives, and that several cellphones and laptops have been confiscated. He said charges -- including cyber-stalking -- could be filed.

"If we can get any evidence of a criminal offense, the person or persons involved will be punished," he said.

Students and parents from Sedwick's school said bullying is a problem, local news reported.

Other students complained that reporting bullying earns them the title of “snitch” among fellow students, and that school authorities have ignored their concerns.

Warning signs

Local media also reported that Sedwick's mother had complained to school officials and had filed a bullying report with the district before her daughter's death.

Before her death, Sedwick had searched questions online related to suicide, including "How many over-the-counter drugs do you take to die?" and "How many Advil do you have to take to die?"

Judd said a 12-year-old boy in North Carolina, whom Sedwick met through social media, had known of her plan. Sedwick messaged him only hours before her death, saying she was dead and "I'm jumping, I can't take it anymore."

Judd said that detectives are trying to investigate the social media applications that Sedwick might have used, but that some of them are based in other countries.

"If you bully somebody online and it's reported to us and we can build a credible case, we will charge you," he said.

Anonymous trolling

Segwick had been active on a social media site which is based outside the United States and through which users can ask eachother questions. It has about 60 million users worldwide, many them anonymous and under 18 years old.

The site had earlier come under fire after it was linked to suicides of at least five teens who allegedly suffered harassment on it.

Critics say the fact that users can remain anonymous is one factor that leads to extreme bullying, because the users do not see their victims’ reactions.

**Forar**

Not sure what there is to say that hasn't already been said at length during the last cyber-bullying thread.

Well, aside from how sad it is that there's another one, and another life is lost.

Oh well, I'm sure someone will come by soon to tell us all how much worse they had it, that clearly these people just need to grow a thicker skin, etc, etc.

**Mathieu Raymond**

I'm curious to see if there will be charges.

Finally a Florida case that does not involve stand your grounds.

**xole**

Mathieu Raymond wrote:
I'm curious to see if there will be charges.

Finally a Florida case that does not involve stand your grounds.

...

This is another in a long line of tragedies generated by the lack of empathy in youth, and the predatory us-and-them attitudes.

**Firehead158**

Firehead:

Ya know, its sad that this little girl lost her life as a result of "cyber bullying". This must be completely devastating for the parents, and I would lose it on some parents if this happened to my child.

Now, this is the other side of Firehead:

Are you kidding me? Someone bullied you... on the internet, and you smoked yourself? Thats stupid. I really do feel bad for the parents, but its not like you were physically assaulted every day. Can't handle someone talking trash behind a keyboard? You're going to have a rough time in the real world. I'd much rather see someone who is bullied take a bat to their "assailants", then to kill themselves. What have we as Americans come to? Start standing up for yourselves. We all had to deal with bullies, and there isn't a single one I haven't stood up to. Maybe its just the way I was raised. This is the pussification of Americans. RIP little lady, the rest of you need to stop being such cowards.

(yes please tell me why I'm wrong now)

**Jihadin**

Your wrong. Remove the bat portion. That way it doesn't sound way to much like your advocating violence among kids. Replace it with, say, dodgeball

**SlaveToDorkness**

There's a part of me wondering how we've reached the point where our children cannot deal with someone telling them to kill themselves.

When did we stop telling them that everybody else their age is a complete moron like my Dad did?

**Ouze**

Firehead158 wrote:
Can't handle someone talking trash behind a keyboard? You're going to have a rough time in the real world.

It's almost like a 12 year old is a child who hasn't developed an adult sense of perspective yet.

**Jimsolo**

Funny, I was just wondering how we'd reached a point where we raised our children to EVER believe it was acceptable to tell someone to kill themselves. (You know, someone who wasn't a child molester, nazi, or juggalo.)

I'm kind of torn. Following someone to their home and screaming that they should kill themselves can be a chargeable crime. I mean, frequently, these "cyber-bullying" (I really hate that term, by the way) things seem to be very analogous to real world stalking, and I wonder if they should be viewed in a similar light. I really feel for those parent, though. (Of all the kids, actually. How bad would you feel if your kids had goaded someone into killing themselves?) I don't really think there's a whole lot of clear cut answers available here, just a lot of questions.

Automatically Appended Next Post:

Ouze wrote:
Firehead158 wrote:
Can't handle someone talking trash behind a keyboard? You're going to have a rough time in the real world.

It's almost like a 12 year old is a child who hasn't developed an adult sense of perspective yet.

Indeed. This.

**Kanluwen**

SlaveToDorkness wrote:
There's a part of me wondering how we've reached the point where our children cannot deal with someone telling them to kill themselves.

When did we stop telling them that everybody else their age is a complete moron like my Dad did?

The problem is that it is not simply "someone telling them to kill themselves".

The online component to cyber-bullying is influential but it is also accompanied by constant harassment/bullying at school, ostracizing individuals from social groups and basically making someone feel like they are completely worthless.

Get informed before commenting on matters like this please.

**SlaveToDorkness**

Kan, I went to High School.

**Jihadin**

Actually thinking "Karma" need to be taught in school. Like around middle school or something....

**cincydooley**

Okay, so I'll ask the stupid question:

Is it really so hard to turn off the computer? I mean, really.

**Ouze**

So we're 100% fully into Blame The Victim now, right?.

**d-usa**

Ouze wrote:
So we're 100% fully into Blame The Victim now, right?.

Bingo?

Just another thread full of replies that make me loose faith in humanity.

**BobtheInquisitor**

cincydooley wrote:
Okay, so I'll ask the stupid question:

Is it really so hard to turn off the computer? I mean, really.

Knowing that people are smearing your name day and night, planning ways to humiliate you and starting rumors behind your back are all pretty terrible whether or not the computer is on.

Also, it is totally acceptable to tell the victim to retreat from living a normal modern life and to live like a relative Mennonite and risk further alienation from her peers? That is the right thing to do?

**sebster**

SlaveToDorkness wrote:
There's a part of me wondering how we've reached the point where our children cannot deal with someone telling them to kill themselves.

When did we stop telling them that everybody else their age is a complete moron like my Dad did?

Seriously? 'Kids these days...' That's what you're going with?

**wana10**

Jimsolo wrote:

Automatically Appended Next Post:

Ouze wrote:
Firehead158 wrote:
Can't handle someone talking trash behind a keyboard? You're going to have a rough time in the real world.

It's almost like a 12 year old is a child who hasn't developed an adult sense of perspective yet.

Indeed. This.

I'm not going to jump onto the victim blaming bandwagon, there's a dead kid who really has no reason to be dead and that is incredibly depressing. That said, if these kids don't have a developed sense of perspective maybe they shouldn't have unfettered access to the web and social media. If the parents knew this was happening and filed complaints why did they keep allowing her to hang out online where the abuse was happening before anything was resolved through the school channels?

**cincydooley**

BobtheInquisitor wrote:
cincydooley wrote:
Okay, so I'll ask the stupid question:

Is it really so hard to turn off the computer? I mean, really.

Knowing that people are smearing your name day and night, planning ways to humiliate you and starting rumors behind your back are all pretty terrible whether or not the computer is on.

Also, it is totally acceptable to tell the victim to retreat from living a normal modern life and to live like a relative Mennonite and risk further alienation from her peers? That is the right thing to do?

The article states that the cyber bullying was the issue, not the real life bullying. As such, it takes about 15 seconds to turn off the PC. You can block mean people on Facebook.

I'm not blaming the victim, but Jesus. Lets not pretend cyber bullying isn't fully preventable by the absolute smallest amount of effort.

**BobtheInquisitor**

cincydooley wrote:
BobtheInquisitor wrote:
cincydooley wrote:
Okay, so I'll ask the stupid question:

Is it really so hard to turn off the computer? I mean, really.

Knowing that people are smearing your name day and night, planning ways to humiliate you and starting rumors behind your back are all pretty terrible whether or not the computer is on.

Also, it is totally acceptable to tell the victim to retreat from living a normal modern life and to live like a relative Mennonite and risk further alienation from her peers? That is the right thing to do?

The article states that the cyber bullying was the issue, not the real life bullying. As such, it takes about 15 seconds to turn off the PC. You can block mean people on Facebook.

I'm not blaming the victim, but Jesus. Lets not pretend cyber bullying isn't fully preventable by the absolute smallest amount of effort.

The article is pretty vague, but are you really suggesting these kids bullied her online and were completely civil to her in real life?

If cyber bullying were as trivial and easily blocked as you seem to think, it would not be such an issue. It's also pretty naive to believe that there was no real world component to the bullying.

And one more time, are you suggesting that the way to prevent bullying from ruining her life is to make her the only "unplugged" kid at school, a.k.a. the weird kid who sticks out and makes an easy target? Wouldn't that sort of reaction be a victory for the bullies? Should she have to give up participating in her own social life (social media is now a part of most children's lives in ways we can't fully understand, not having grown up with it) because we don't want to get aggressive in stopping cyber bullying? Basically, "she was asking for it" for being online?

**sebster**

cincydooley wrote:
The article states that the cyber bullying was the issue, not the real life bullying. As such, it takes about 15 seconds to turn off the PC. You can block mean people on Facebook.

I'm not blaming the victim, but Jesus. Lets not pretend cyber bullying isn't fully preventable by the absolute smallest amount of effort.

If bullying was a stimulus response thing - person said mean thing, victim is sadder, then yeah, your answer would work.

But the problem is that bullying isn't that simple, the means things said will be part of a larger program of ostracization and getting former friends to abandon the victim. Simply turning off your computer might stop a person hearing a mean comment, but the rest of it, the really damaging stuff, is still there.

**Jihadin**

Twelve years old and her life evolve around a social media site....twelve year olds need to do what twelve year olds do.....play outside...

**cincydooley**

I didn't say there wasn't any real life bullying. The article even states the mom had reported it to the school. The article does place the blame for the suicide on the cyber bullying, however.

Quite frankly, I do think cyber bullying is trivial because there's a pretty easy solution to it. I also know that in the vast anonymity of the Internet there are plenty of ways to interact with social media. feth, through Twitter you can literally be whoever of whatever the feth you want to be. The dude that writes the Peyton's head Twitter could literally be a one legged dwarf that never played football in his life. We don't know because its anonymous. So please, don't pretend there aren't plenty of avenues for someone to interact online aside from whatever site this kid was getting cyber bullied on.

And you want to "get aggressive in stopping cyber bullying?" Oh feth me sideways. So, you want people to stop being mean on the Internet? My brother, if you can figure that out Ill band together a militia to help crown you Tzar of Earth.

Kids are going to be fething mean to each other. That's reality. Do you know the only way to curb it? Foster kindness in popular kids. That's the easiest way to stop bullying. If the captain of the football team doesn't put up with bullying, it happens far more infrequently.

You know the way to curb kids killing themselves from inevitable bullying? Be a fething parent, take part in their lives, and teach them how to cope.

**Haemonculus**

cincydooley wrote:
Okay, so I'll ask the stupid question:

Is it really so hard to turn off the computer? I mean, really.

Because you have to turn that computer back on, and that turning the computer off does not make the bullies vanish. Why should the victim suddenly have to change her lifestyle around simply because of the actions of others?

I was the object of significant bullying when I worked for the ambulance service, and actually contemplated killing myself after being abused one night shift and then being informed that the witnesses were not going to support me out of fear of retaliation (the bully got away with it). Some people could say that I could have just left my job, but why should I be the one who leaves?

Kids are going to be fething mean to each other. That's reality. Do you know the only way to curb it? Foster kindness in popular kids. That's the easiest way to stop bullying. If the captain of the football team doesn't put up with bullying, it happens far more infrequently.

Yet the research actually shows that this does not work. Teaching people to be kind is counter-productive for those who simply have no empathy. You really just skill them up to be better bullies.

You know the way to curb kids killing themselves from inevitable bullying? Be a fething parent, take part in their lives, and teach them how to cope.

Not everyone who kills themselves have parents that do not take an active, supporting role in their children's lives. It does not matter if you have caring parents; the child may not actually have spoken to their parents, due to being embarrassed. But having supportive people is not the only (or most effective) protective factor against suicide. Suicide is a complex thing, and your assessment of what victims go through (or what they need to do to prevent it) strikes me as being rather simplistic.

**cincydooley**

So.... You got bullied as a working adult? I'll put my callous bastard hat back on and say that if you're unable to cope with people being mean to you as an adult you might want to seek some professional counsel.

**Imposter101**

cincydooley wrote:
So.... You got bullied as a working adult? I'll put my callous bastard hat back on and say that if you're unable to cope with people being mean to you as an adult you might want to seek some professional counsel.

Harassment is an incredibly easy thing to ignore apparently.

**cincydooley**

Imposter101 wrote:
cincydooley wrote:
So.... You got bullied as a working adult? I'll put my callous bastard hat back on and say that if you're unable to cope with people being mean to you as an adult you might want to seek some professional counsel.

Harassment is an incredibly easy thing to ignore apparently.

You know the cool thing about harassment in the workplace? There are like, legal ways to curb it. Pretty crazy right?

I mean, I don't know if Austalia is as gloriously litigious as the US, but as a westernized country I'm sure there's plenty of opportunity for legal recourse.

**Haemonculus**

cincydooley wrote:
So.... You got bullied as a working adult? I'll put my callous bastard hat back on and say that if you're unable to cope with people being mean to you as an adult you might want to seek some professional counsel.

I'll counter that and say that you're making a comment about an internet stranger. Yes, I got severly bullied at work, and yes I was suicidal. You can wear that callous hat, for all I care. You still really aren't in a position to make the call on what a stranger needs.

**Imposter101**

cincydooley wrote:
Imposter101 wrote:
cincydooley wrote:
So.... You got bullied as a working adult? I'll put my callous bastard hat back on and say that if you're unable to cope with people being mean to you as an adult you might want to seek some professional counsel.

Harassment is an incredibly easy thing to ignore apparently.

You know the cool thing about harassment in the workplace? There are like, legal ways to curb it. Pretty crazy right?

It's not that easy for people. We also don't know the full situation, and which members of the workplace engaged in it. People end up getting fired for trying to report stuff like this.

**cincydooley**

Haemonculus wrote:
cincydooley wrote:
So.... You got bullied as a working adult? I'll put my callous bastard hat back on and say that if you're unable to cope with people being mean to you as an adult you might want to seek some professional counsel.

I'll counter that and say that you're making a comment about an internet stranger. Yes, I got severly bullied at work, and yes I was suicidal. You can wear that callous hat, for all I care. You still really aren't in a position to make the call on what a stranger needs.

Oh, I don't know. You're an adult that says you were suicidal because you were "bullied". Id say the simple fact that you were suicidal would be enoug to warrant the notion from an Internet stranger that you need some professional help.

Honestly, I didn't know you could be "bullied" as an adult. You really learn something new every day.