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Bullying is always going to be a part of growing up, and with social media, it's only going to get more intrusive. You can add as many rules and restrictions as you want, but it doesn't change the fact that kids (and, let's face it, adults) will bully and ostracize one another.

When I went to school, we'd always have assemblies, classes, lectures, and other presentations all about bullying, being bullied, and being resilient to bullying. I think that education concerning reactions to bullying needs to be seriously updated to fit the times, and that will require a considerable amount of research and thought into the issue. Growing thicker skin isn't enough these days, you need to be prepared to lose some. It's harsh, but in an environment containing a concentration of hundreds upon hundreds of undeveloped sociopaths in one building, bullying will always be an inevitability. What's also important is that, by and large, almost everyone will probably end up bullying someone else, or at least trying, themselves.

To be pragmatic, we can't just encourage kids to stop bullying, but help develop tools to cope with it.

 cincydooley wrote:
Oh, I don't know. You're an adult that says you were suicidal because you were "bullied". Id say the simple fact that you were suicidal would be enoug to warrant the notion from an Internet stranger that you need some professional help.

Honestly, I didn't know you could be "bullied" as an adult. You really learn something new every day.

I was bullied, harassed, intimidated, abused, threatened, etc etc. I could easily exhaust my thesaurus in trying to explain what happened. But again, you just aren't the expert here, cincydooley. Sorry, I am not trying to belittle you, but trying to get you to see that you're analysis of my situation is fundamentally lacking given that you are commenting about a stranger's experiences you know nothing about. An example: "I didn't know you could be "bullied" as an adult." Yes, yes you can. Many many countries ackowledge it, in policy, law,even research (my area). Adults can be bullied, adults can experience one of the synonyms I noted at the start of my message.

 cincydooley wrote:
So.... You got bullied as a working adult? I'll put my callous bastard hat back on and say that if you're unable to cope with people being mean to you as an adult you might want to seek some professional counsel.

This comment is hilarious because yesterday at work I sat through a lengthy meeting put on for the while IT department about workplace bullying and harrassment and why it is unacceptable, and the legal methods of getting around it.

Bullying and harrassment happen every day, to people of all ages, and it can and does have long lasting mental and social affects. I've seen and experienced it myself.

'Get thicker skin' is such a fething cop out 'Mr Tough Guy' response that makes me think you've never seriously experienced it. It's not as simple as someone at work or school occasionally making fun of your haircut.

This is sad. :-(

My word association with "bullied" is "child". My guess is that if you're using the phrasing "bullied" as an adult you were probably "bullied" as a child. And because you're using it now, and the reaction you had to it which you freely shared, it's likely you didn't develop any coping mechanisms to deal with people being mean to you. That's your parents fault IMO

My word association for "harassed" is "adult". And again, as a harassed adult, especially in the workplace, there are loads of options for legal recourse.

My initial reaction when someone says they were suicidal is "go see a psychiatrist". Hell, I see one twice a year simply because its fething great to unburden yourself to someone that is completely objective. I highly recommend it.

And you're right. I know nothing about you aside from what you shared. This is simply an Internet strangers non-professional assessment.

 cincydooley wrote:
Honestly, I didn't know you could be "bullied" as an adult. You really learn something new every day.

have you never worked a full time job? They don't have all of these methods of legal counsel for workplace harrassment for nothing. It's a real thing.

Jebus. What job and how old are you to be getting bullied at work?

 cincydooley wrote:
My word association with "bullied" is "child". My guess is that if you're using the phrasing "bullied" as an adult you were probably "bullied" as a child. And because you're using it now, and the reaction you had to it which you freely shared, it's likely you didn't develop any coping mechanisms to deal with people being mean to you. That's your parents fault IMO

Only bullying is not the province of children. You're making a major assumption here. Quite a few, actually.

My word association for "harassed" is "adult". And again, as a harassed adult, especially in the workplace, there are loads of options for legal recourse.

My initial reaction when someone says they were suicidal is "go see a psychiatrist". Hell, I see one twice a year simply because its fething great to unburden yourself to someone that is completely objective. I highly recommend it.

Haha, I am a psychologist. Yes, they help. Absolutely. And I am pleased you have benefitted from seeing a psychiatrist.

If someone is suicidal, seeing a professional is the best response. But I took issue with the way you worded your initial reaction to my post.

And you're right. I know nothing about you aside from what you shared. This is simply an Internet strangers non-professional assessment.

Thanks cincydooley. Despite the tension, I have enjoyed debating/arguing this with you.


Automatically Appended Next Post:

 Jihadin wrote:
Jebus. What job and how old are you to be getting bullied at work?

Curious as to why you think only children are bullied. The term is used in plenty of organisations in context of adults . . .

One example: http://www.humanrights.gov.au/workplace-bullying-violence-harassment-and-bullying-fact-sheet

Man. Never set foot in a squadron ready room, that's all I'll say.

On topic, I think blaming the victim is a tad harsh in this particular case, but I'm perfectly fine with blaming all involved parents.

 -Loki- wrote:


'Get thicker skin' is such a fething cop out 'Mr Tough Guy' response that makes me think you've never seriously experienced it. It's not as simple as someone at work or school occasionally making fun of your haircut.

I don't know if I've "seriously" experience it. I was picked on plenty as a chubby, freckled 6-10 year old with a name that could easily be turned into "Seen Drooling". But my parents taught me to cope with it. Early. So that very Irish name I have became a point of pride. Instead of being upset when someone couldn't pronounce "Sean" it became their fault because that's the real Irish way to spell it, so my mom told me.

I know in high school I had self esteem issues due to, well, what every 14 year old boy does that isn't the best looking dude in school has issues with: girls. And I learned how to fix those things. Because my parents helped me learn how to. They didn't blame. They didn't bitch to the school. They helped me learn to cope. They helped me become a well adjusted person, despite the fact that we'd later learn (8 years after high school) that I'm bi-polar.


Automatically Appended Next Post:

 -Loki- wrote:

 cincydooley wrote:
Honestly, I didn't know you could be "bullied" as an adult. You really learn something new every day.

have you never worked a full time job? They don't have all of these methods of legal counsel for workplace harrassment for nothing. It's a real thing.

Yeah. Like I said about 3 times, there's tons of legal recourse for it. If you let it perpetuate, that's on you.

And like I said before, I've never heard it referred to as "bullying" from an adult. That's why I was taken aback.

 cincydooley wrote:
Quite frankly, I do think cyber bullying is trivial because there's a pretty easy solution to it. I also know that in the vast anonymity of the Internet there are plenty of ways to interact with social media. feth, through Twitter you can literally be whoever of whatever the feth you want to be. The dude that writes the Peyton's head Twitter could literally be a one legged dwarf that never played football in his life. We don't know because its anonymous. So please, don't pretend there aren't plenty of avenues for someone to interact online aside from whatever site this kid was getting cyber bullied on.

You failed your reading. The issue isn't 'this person can't go on-line because they are bullied', the issue is 'the bullying extends beyond on-line in to their personal lives' so simply turning off the computer doesn't solve the issue.

And bullying is more than just saying something mean. You are, and always will be allowed to say something mean on the internet. I could, for instance, tell you that your opinions on this subject are extremely poorly considered and it's the most incredible hubris that you think you think can rail against common opinion on the issue armed with nothing but your personal opinions... and if you went and killed yourself because of it, I wouldn't be in any kind of trouble.

Bullying is a pattern of behaviour, over an extended period of time. If I was to follow you from thread to thread attacking you, and contact all your friends on dakka and convince them to turn on you, then that's bullying. And if I did the same to you in the real world, well then you've got the kind of thing that can ruin young people's lives, and sometimes causes them to attempt suicide.

You know the way to curb kids killing themselves from inevitable bullying? Be a fething parent, take part in their lives, and teach them how to cope.

Just hoping that all the other parents in the world start doing their jobs is pie in the sky.


Automatically Appended Next Post:

 cincydooley wrote:
My word association with "bullied" is "child". My guess is that if you're using the phrasing "bullied" as an adult you were probably "bullied" as a child.

Or more likely you haven't worked in a large corporate environment in the last 10 to 15 years. Seriously, workplace bullying is talked about so often these days, I'm more than a little surprised that someone outside of the corporate environment wouldn't have heard of it, at least in passing.

Yeah, they say violence never solves anything, but in my experience it actually totally solves lots of things.

Your mileage may vary.

 Jihadin wrote:
Jebus. What job and how old are you to be getting bullied at work?

Seriously?

Consider a senior manager gets dropped in to a department. He's insecure in his abilities and quickly adopts a divide and conquer approach among the managers underneath him - manipulating the managers underneath him in to turning on each other. When the senior manager's ideas and direction are challenged by managers, he belittles them publically. When one manager shows the strength of his convictions and doesn't become a yes man in this new system, the senior manager really turns on him. His projects are cancelled and his best staff are moved to other areas. His abandoned projects are constantly mocked by the senior manager and his new lackeys. The manager is eventually moved to a new office, where he remains for two months without ever having a connected telehpone.

He leaves the company, and then sues. He wins millions. Because courts recognise workplace bullying is a hostile work environoment, and don't tolerate that gak anymore.


Automatically Appended Next Post:

 Seaward wrote:
Man. Never set foot in a squadron ready room, that's all I'll say.

Nah, because just saying mean things isn't bullying.

 sebster wrote:

 cincydooley wrote:
Quite frankly, I do think cyber bullying is trivial because there's a pretty easy solution to it. I also know that in the vast anonymity of the Internet there are plenty of ways to interact with social media. feth, through Twitter you can literally be whoever of whatever the feth you want to be. The dude that writes the Peyton's head Twitter could literally be a one legged dwarf that never played football in his life. We don't know because its anonymous. So please, don't pretend there aren't plenty of avenues for someone to interact online aside from whatever site this kid was getting cyber bullied on.

You failed your reading. The issue isn't 'this person can't go on-line because they are bullied', the issue is 'the bullying extends beyond on-line in to their personal lives' so simply turning off the computer doesn't solve the issue.

And bullying is more than just saying something mean. You are, and always will be allowed to say something mean on the internet. I could, for instance, tell you that your opinions on this subject are extremely poorly considered and it's the most incredible hubris that you think you think can rail against common opinion on the issue armed with nothing but your personal opinions... and if you went and killed yourself because of it, I wouldn't be in any kind of trouble.

Bullying is a pattern of behaviour, over an extended period of time. If I was to follow you from thread to thread attacking you, and contact all your friends on dakka and convince them to turn on you, then that's bullying. And if I did the same to you in the real world, well then you've got the kind of thing that can ruin young people's lives, and sometimes causes them to attempt suicide.

I'm fully aware of what bullying is. I was a teacher for 5 years. I've seen actual bullying happen in school. We suspend the bullies and then--and this is the key--teach the bullied kids how to cope with it in the inevitable case it happens again. We were also trained to provide an outlet for bullied kids to talk to.

With all that in mind, I firmly maintain my stance on "cyber bullying". It's easy, embarrassingly so, to avoid without becoming a technology pariah. Like, for instance, if you did all that "dakka cyber bullying stuff you mentioned" it would take me a whole 20 seconds to eliminate and I could go about my business. The website itself has avenues to do this. In fact, many.

Or more likely you haven't worked in a large corporate environment in the last 10 to 15 years. Seriously, workplace bullying is talked about so often these days, I'm more than a little surprised that someone outside of the corporate environment wouldn't have heard of it, at least in passing.

I work for a Fortune 500 company. We call it harassment because, you know, we're adults. I've never been subject to it nor have I ever seen it in my workplace. Because, you know, we're adults and we know that you can dislike someone and still work with them.

Firstly people need to watch their language. The language filters are there as we don't want certain words or terms used on the site. If you persist in working round them then we'll simply suspend your account.

Secondly, take a moment before posting, especially if you're responding directly to another user. There's no need to be insulting or belittling.

 cincydooley wrote:
With all that in mind, I firmly maintain my stance on "cyber bullying". It's easy, embarrassingly so, to avoid without becoming a technology pariah. Like, for instance, if you did all that "dakka cyber bullying stuff you mentioned" it would take me a whole 20 seconds to eliminate and I could go about my business. The website itself has avenues to do this. In fact, many.

You just keep ignoring the part where I point out that the cyber-bullying doesn't exist in isolation, and that just turning off the computer doesn't solve the greater problem. I don't know why you keep ignoring that, but its making this really boring.

I work for a Fortune 500 company. We call it harassment because, you know, we're adults. I've never been subject to it nor have I ever seen it in my workplace. Because, you know, we're adults and we know that you can dislike someone and still work with them.

You should listen more closely in those seminars. Company spend a lot of money on those things, and I think they'd be pretty disappointed to learn you weren't aware of the differences between harassment and bullying (pro-tip - bullying is motivated by malice/insecurity, and is about establishing positions of power.... just like childhood bullying.)

 sebster wrote:

 Jihadin wrote:
Jebus. What job and how old are you to be getting bullied at work?

Seriously?

Consider a senior manager gets dropped in to a department. He's insecure in his abilities and quickly adopts a divide and conquer approach among the managers underneath him - manipulating the managers underneath him in to turning on each other. When the senior manager's ideas and direction are challenged by managers, he belittles them publically. When one manager shows the strength of his convictions and doesn't become a yes man in this new system, the senior manager really turns on him. His projects are cancelled and his best staff are moved to other areas. His abandoned projects are constantly mocked by the senior manager and his new lackeys. The manager is eventually moved to a new office, where he remains for two months without ever having a connected telehpone.

He leaves the company, and then sues. He wins millions. Because courts recognise workplace bullying is a hostile work environoment, and don't tolerate that gak anymore.

.

This is a well and nice scenario that is about as likely to happen in a corporate work environment as I am to grow a uterus and birth a child. There's a reason HR departments in any large company (and many small ones too) exist autonomously. So this gak doesn't happen. Staff can't simply be moved like rearranging fruit in your fridge. Etc. etc. gak, if I had a manager belittle me in public and I couldn't deal with it like a grown ass man, i could go to HR, the complaint would be filed anonymously, and would exist on his file until he no longer worked for the company.

Besides, there's legal protection and recourse for it in the incredibly unlikely event it did happen.

And quite frankly, I still can't fathom that you're calling this "bullying".


Automatically Appended Next Post:

 sebster wrote:

 cincydooley wrote:
I work for a Fortune 500 company. We call it harassment because, you know, we're adults. I've never been subject to it nor have I ever seen it in my workplace. Because, you know, we're adults and we know that you can dislike someone and still work with them.

You should listen more closely in those seminars. Company spend a lot of money on those things, and I think they'd be pretty disappointed to learn you weren't aware of the differences between harassment and bullying (pro-tip - bullying is motivated by malice/insecurity, and is about establishing positions of power.... just like childhood bullying.)

I guess I can't fathom what kind of adult would put up with that. I mean, I can, but I think stating it here would violate rule #1 and get me an insta-ban.


Automatically Appended Next Post:

 sebster wrote:


You just keep ignoring the part where I point out that the cyber-bullying doesn't exist in isolation, and that just turning off the computer doesn't solve the greater problem. I don't know why you keep ignoring that, but its making this really boring.
.)

I'm not ignoring it. I've said at least twice now that kids have to be taught to cope with "real world" bullying. If you simply get the "bully" in trouble and don't teach the bullied kid to cope with the situation, as a parent or teacher you've not done your job. And yes, sadly part of that coping is teaching kids to have thicker skin.

 cincydooley wrote:
This is a well and nice scenario that is about as likely to happen in a corporate work environment as I am to grow a uterus and birth a child.

Congratulations on the child, because that was a real case study.

There's a reason HR departments in any large company (and many small ones too) exist autonomously. So this gak doesn't happen.

Because simply setting up a paid position automatically means the problem can't happen, no need to worry about org culture or anything like that.

Staff can't simply be moved like rearranging fruit in your fridge. Etc. etc. gak, if I had a manager belittle me in public and I couldn't deal with it like a grown ass man, i could go to HR, the complaint would be filed anonymously, and would exist on his file until he no longer worked for the company.

Yeah, because management has no ability to use unofficial, informal connections to side step formal process. And a nasty note on a HR file is such a negative for a senior manager...

Besides, there's legal protection and recourse for it in the incredibly unlikely event it did happen.

Yes there is, and that's how the individual in said case study eventually got some measure of fairness. Did you read to the end?

Anyhow, that was one instance, with a happy ending. I know of a few people from personal experience who had no such joy, they just left to some other job, frustrated and stressed. Because establishing something like this in a court of law is incredibly hard, and will take a long time.

And quite frankly, I still can't fathom that you're calling this "bullying".

There's a whole industry of business books on the subject. Go to amazon and enter 'workplace bullying' - you get 1,500 responses.

And you just sit there blithely asserting that because you were ignorant of the term, that it must not be common terminology. Man, you've got some moxie, I'll give you that.


Automatically Appended Next Post:

 cincydooley wrote:
I guess I can't fathom what kind of adult would put up with that. I mean, I can, but I think stating it here would violate rule #1 and get me an insta-ban.

Nah, it just means you don't really understand bullying and how it works. The kids don't just put up with it because of any personal failing, and nor do adults.

I'm not ignoring it. I've said at least twice now that kids have to be taught to cope with "real world" bullying. If you simply get the "bully" in trouble and don't teach the bullied kid to cope with the situation, as a parent or teacher you've not done your job. And yes, sadly part of that coping is teaching kids to have thicker skin.

And when there's a real world situation going on, then thinking that just turning off the computer will achieve anything is stupid. As stupid as 'Ignore it and it'll stop', which is sadly an all too common piece of terrible advice given to victims of bullying.

 sebster wrote:

 cincydooley wrote:
This is a well and nice scenario that is about as likely to happen in a corporate work environment as I am to grow a uterus and birth a child.

Congratulations on the child, because that was a real case study.

Link, por favor?

There's a reason HR departments in any large company (and many small ones too) exist autonomously. So this gak doesn't happen.

Yeah, because management has no ability to use unofficial, informal connections to side step formal process. And a nasty note on a HR file is such a negative for a senior manager...

At any corporation with said autonomous HR division, It literally could not happen. For this very reason.

Besides, there's legal protection and recourse for it in the incredibly unlikely event it did happen.

Yes there is, and that's how the individual in said case study eventually got some measure of fairness. Did you read to the end?

Yes. Seems like a pretty amiable solution to me.

Anyhow, that was one instance, with a happy ending. I know of a few people from personal experience who had no such joy, they just left to some other job, frustrated and stressed. Because establishing something like this in a court of law is incredibly hard, and will take a long time.

So what you're saying is there are solutions. They're just not easy or necessarily fair. Huh. Sounds like life in general. How about that.

There's a whole industry of business books on the subject. Go to amazon and enter 'workplace bullying' - you get 1,500 responses.

Scientology has 2100 hits. Astrology has 37000. Jussayin.

Nah, it just means you don't really understand bullying and how it works. The kids don't just put up with it because of any personal failing, and nor do adults.

Getting bullied isn't a personal failing. In fact, it often has more to do with the bully than the child being bullied. Not being able to cope with it, however, is a personal failing.

ITT, we're arguing that the existence of HR departments has eliminated workplace harassment.

I think you're intentionally displaying a level of obtusity here to prove some point we can't glean. Obtusity - is that a word? It should be.

 cincydooley wrote:
There's a reason HR departments in any large company (and many small ones too) exist autonomously. So this gak doesn't happen.

At any corporation with said autonomous HR division, It literally could not happen. For this very reason.

Besides, there's legal protection and recourse for it in the incredibly unlikely event it did happen.

I might have missed something in this back and forth, but just to clarify. Are you taking the stance that workplace harassment is a functional impossibility? Something so outlandish as to be classified as "incredibly unlikely?" That an "autonomous" HR department (which seems unlikely in and of itself) is a virtual guarantee against such shenanigans? That seems to be your stance, I'm just clarifying for my own curiosity.

 Jimsolo wrote:

 cincydooley wrote:
There's a reason HR departments in any large company (and many small ones too) exist autonomously. So this gak doesn't happen.

At any corporation with said autonomous HR division, It literally could not happen. For this very reason.

Besides, there's legal protection and recourse for it in the incredibly unlikely event it did happen.

I might have missed something in this back and forth, but just to clarify. Are you taking the stance that workplace harassment is a functional impossibility? Something so outlandish as to be classified as "incredibly unlikely?" That an "autonomous" HR department (which seems unlikely in and of itself) is a virtual guarantee against such shenanigans? That seems to be your stance, I'm just clarifying for my own curiosity.

Nope. That was in direct response to all of the personnel maneuvering that seb stated from his case study. Workplace harassment isn't uncommon at all. I (apparently poorly) was stating that those autonomous HR depts exist to provide recourse. That's my fault for not making it more clear.

It's becoming apparent that as an ENTJ Alpha adult that I'm lacking some perspective here when it comes to "bullying" in the adult world. Or maybe my vernacular is more inclined to consider it harassment. Either way, I'm going to recuse myself from the conversation before I make any really offensive comments. I'll end it with my final thoughts on the OP. I'll read the thread still, but I won't be replying anymore.

1. Bullying is a very real occurrence in schools and with kids. IMO, parents and teachers not only need to hold the bullies accountable, but they also need to teach bullied kids how to cope. I firmly believe (based on my own experience growing up) that kids that are taught to cope can become well adjusted adults. Additionally, I think it's the responsibility of parents, especially those with athletic or popular kids, to encourage them to call out people that are bullying. When I was in high school all those years ago, that's how it went. We didn't put up with it and as a result it didn't happen. Admittedly, it probably helped that about half of our starting defensive front 7 was also in choir and theatre. I've come to understand this is rarely the case

2. I think cyber bullying is 100% preventable. There are lots of ways for a kid to participate in social media under the guise of anonymity if people are mean to them online. Additionally, they can simply choose to not participate in it. It may not be fair, but few things are.

I'm thinking if they killed themselves, then there was more at play than JUST the bullying. Yes, pre-teens have all kinds of self-image issues, not to mention self-worth, self-control and self-pity.

Underlying psych issues to start with. Yeah, 12 year olds haven't learned how to form an adult view of the world yet - but they have these two (sometimes one) adults in their lives that should be doing their part to assist with this. It's called parenting.

I was bullied at school. There was no web, there was no always connected society, there was no myface bookspace. If you wanted to IM someone you went over to them and spoke to them. If you wanted to 'escape' them, you physically moved to where they couldn't get you.

I retreated to a 'safe place' and ignored them (school library - they seemed to mostly be afraid of books and that learning stuff). I found my friends there, who also found sanctuary in the library. I'm friends with several of them still, some 30 years later. Only some of them. Others developed drug habits (mary jane) and then psych issues and killed themselves.

(But those suicides weren't as the result of bullying. They were undiagnosed scizophrenics where bipolar disorder also ran in the family).

Suicide doesn't solve any problems, it just passes them on to other people.

 cincydooley wrote:

And quite frankly, I still can't fathom that you're calling this "bullying".

http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2013/03/01/growing-push-to-halt-workplace-bullying/1955847/

A recent survey found that 56% of companies have some kind of anti-bullying policy.

http://usatoday30.usatoday.com/money/workplace/2010-12-28-bullyboss28_CV_N.htm

One in three adults has experienced workplace bullying, according to surveys conducted earlier this year by research firm Zogby International for the Workplace Bullying Institute (WBI). Nearly three-fourths of bullying is from the top down, according to a 2007 study.

Some tyrannical managers scream and send out scathing e-mails. But often, an oppressor uses a more subtle — and easily covered — collection of behaviors. These actions could include purposely leaving a worker out of communications so they can't do their job well, mocking someone during meetings and spreading malicious gossip about their target, says Catherine Mattice, a workplace consultant who specializes in this issue.

The acts may seem trivial, but as they build up over time, the ramifications can be monumental.

Bullied workers often feel anxious and depressed, can't sleep and are at increased risk for ailments such as hypertension. Some employees feel so overwhelmed, they just can't see a way out. "Sometimes, unfortunately, suicide is the result," Mattice says.

http://www.shrm.org/hrdisciplines/safetysecurity/articles/Pages/Workplace-Bullying-Laws.aspx

http://www.epspros.com/NewsResources/Newsletters?find=12205

The statistics are staggering: according to the 2010 U.S. Workforce Bullying Institute Survey,1 over 53 million Americans, 35 percent of the U.S. workforce, report having been bullied at some point in their career. An additional 15 percent report witnessing bullying at work. Today, workplace bullying is estimated as four times more prevalent than illegal harassment. Is bullying the “silent epidemic”2 of today’s U.S. workforce?

Well that sucks balls in a big way. Prayers to the family and curses on all her tormentors. May they feel god's wrath for this.

I agree, that bullying is wrong period, yet there had to be mental issues going on.
For instance, everyone has suffered, if you will, a break-up, yet one morning I responded to a 911 call of a 14 year old girl threatening to kill herself, unfortunately she did take her own life with a shotgun just before I arrived and as the negotiator was trying to make contact. The young lady had been upset over her boyfriend breaking up with her. Tragic, yet there had to be some issues there also. So I guess what we can all learn from this is to observe our kids behavior and reactions to seemingly normal situations, if there are over-reactions then perhaps there are some issues that need professional help.

Of course there were mental issues, she was 12 dude. They are a walking mental issue until they hit about 17.

Twelve.

I'm sorry but if I am the dad I am rampaging with a shotgun.

 Frazzled wrote:
Of course there were mental issues, she was 12 dude. They are a walking mental issue until they hit about 17.

Twelve.

I'm sorry but if I am the dad I am rampaging with a shotgun.

Shotguns and Wiener Attack Dogs* Frazzled.

Iranna.

 Firehead158 wrote:
Now, this is the other side of Firehead:

Are you kidding me? Someone bullied you... on the internet, and you smoked yourself? Thats stupid. I really do feel bad for the parents, but its not like you were physically assaulted every day. Can't handle someone talking trash behind a keyboard? You're going to have a rough time in the real world. I'd much rather see someone who is bullied take a bat to their "assailants", then to kill themselves. What have we as Americans come to? Start standing up for yourselves. We all had to deal with bullies, and there isn't a single one I haven't stood up to. Maybe its just the way I was raised. This is the pussification of Americans. RIP little lady, the rest of you need to stop being such cowards.

(yes please tell me why I'm wrong now)

Huh, we've been Ehrenstein'd on the first page...

It's a terrible shame this little girl died because her peers are idiots and don't know how to be civil human beings

 Jihadin wrote:
Your wrong. Remove the bat portion. That way it doesn't sound way to much like your advocating violence among kids. Replace it with, say, dodgeball

how else are we to win the next war we get into, if our youths are un-used to violence?


Maybe its just a generational gap, but the way I was raised, suicide was never "on the table" so to speak. You either bore through it, because it's school, and it shall pass, or you personally did something about it (as in confronting the bully, or doing something that makes them look utterly ridiculous/ and shame them in public)