corrupt a wish!

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**Hawky**

Granted. You managed to dig so deep you found Misclicking Ork's dwarf fortress. You are his best friend now, and he calls you 5 times a day.

I wish to look further.

**Misclicking ork**

Granted, as you stare off into the distance, you see such beauty in the stars, that you eventually die of exposure or dehydration.

I wish for a metal bawks

**ChargerIIC**

Granted. You are inside the Bawks It is shrinking, shrinking, shrinking...

I wish for a giant cookie...

**Misclicking ork**

Granted, it is so large, it becomes a tourist attraction, and the government decides to make it a national monument, so no eating it.

I wish I had more of those jalapeno potato chips.

**Super Ready**

Granted - you can't get to the chips though, on account of them being allupinyo' potatoes.

I wish for the next comment to contain at least one food-based pun.

**snurl**

Granted. The chips are down.

I wish to return triumphant.

**Hawky**

Granted. Before you returned, you ventured on a quest of robbing a wheelchair-bound child of their lollipop.

I wish to become a legend everybody knows, and nobody will forget for centuries...

**Misclicking ork**

Granted, you attain this status by painfully surviving every known form of cancer for over a decade before you die, and you are remembered for this feat... and then the future news somehow makes you out to be a [whatever people dislike in the future].

I wish some of the more deserving forum game threads got some attention.

**ChargerIIC**

Granted. The attention mainly comes from people fascinated by the toxic flame wars that have broken out on each one.

I wish for lungs immune to smoke

**Misclicking ork**

Granted, you can breathe smoke, but you choke on air now, and you spend the rest of your miserable life as a fascination of doctors, and die a lonely, sad person.

I wish GW officially changed the UltraMarines name to the UltraSmurfs (or Space Wolves to Space Corgies if that's more your style).

**Super Ready**

Granted - you have absolutely no idea the can of worms you've opened though. After all, that makes Smurfette a Space Marine too - a FEMALE Space Marine.
Reddit just about explodes in response.

I wish for more of this absolutely wonderful Apple Pie Kit-Kat that I'm eating.

**Hawky**

Granted. All food you put into your mouth gets transformed into Apple Pie Kit-Kat. Within a year, you are known as the most morbidly obese man that ever existed.

I wish I could understand what horses say.

**Misclicking ork**

Granted, as you listen to them, you hear many hurtful and blasphemous words come from their mouths, and you are in such shock of things such as what the pony has to say about the little girl ridding it, that you suffer from a simultaneous heart attack and (somehow, the science doesn't fit) stroke.

I wish to have 2000 Kit-Kats.

**helgrenze**

Granted. Due to a typo on the order form, you get 2000 kits to make the characters from the recent version of Cats.

I wish my new puppy was a little less hyperactive.

**Misclicking ork**

Granted, due to the lack of hyperactivity, your dog grows up to be an obese thing that can't move and dies young.

I wish that Cats movie was never made.

**Hawky**

Granted. Instead, a movie called Catties is made. A vile, abominable, extra heretical, and purgeworthy combination of (already heretical) Cuties, and (slightly less heretical) Cats.

I wish the city of Zootopia was a real thing.

**helgrenze**

Granted. Bonus, you live there and have a job at the local lab. You are also a Guinea Pig.

I wish people would stop telling me how to play my characters.

**Misclicking ork**

Granted, they now tell you how to do other things, such as how to eat breath, and after a while it is more annoying than what you had before.

I wish I had a third eye.

**ChargerIIC**

Granted. Its between your buttcheeks. At least you'll always know the quality of your bowel movements.

I wish to double my savings.

**Super Ready**

Granted. It, too, is between Misclicking ork's buttcheeks. ...that's gotta be painful.

I wish for a pro-painted Tyranids army that isn't between anyone's buttcheeks.

**helgrenze**

Granted. It fell out as he was taking a dump and is now clogging the sewer.

I wish I had some peanuts to munch on.

**Misclicking ork**

Granted, there were also a few peanut bugs in the mix, and on top of eating such a horrible tasting thing, you also happen to be allergic to peanut bugs, so enjoy.

I wish I could find my cutters (is that what you call them?).

**ChargerIIC**

Granted. They've melded with an exacto knife to form the worlds first and most murderous Pokemon.

I wish I was independently wealthy

**Hawky**

Granted. You are independently wealthy for unstable Subsaharan Africa regions. Enjoy your mud hut, dirty plastic barrel, old Toyota, AK-47, and a few agricultural tools.

I wish everybody in the world was equally equal.

**Misclicking ork**

Granted, everyone becomes an exact clone of each other with the same knowledge and interests, with the same amount of wealth and health problems. Unfortunately the man everyone is now based on was an incompetent, poor, psychopath with nearly every debilitating disease out there, and who enjoys torturing people.

I wish for the Eldar line to get updated.

**BigWaaagh**

Granted! The only real "update" to the line is the names. The race is now called the "El-derr". Units are renamed as well and among them are the "Howling Buttcheeks"...their shrieks are now a bit more baritone, smelly and rumbly, "Rakeguard"...their weapons consist of multi-pronged appendages that don't cause much damage but work wonders cleaning up the battlefield debris, etc. and their leaders have been "updated" as well...there's "Phoenix Lord Friggin'-A" whose giant butane lighter goes up in the air and ignites every time he hears a tasty jam and gets him screaming "Friggin' A!", also "I lick Picklespear" who smells oddly similiar to a New York deli and is never seen going into combat without at least two dozen jars of dill pickle spears dangling from his armor. Enjoy, they'll be a blast to paint up!

I wish for my son to be able to get back on campus and not have to worry about all this bs.

**ChargerIIC**

Granted, but his classmates all came in with the Bubonic Plague

I wish for a space station of my very own

**ChaoticMind**

Granted, you just blew ALL your money on it. Unfortunately it’s unexpectedly entered a rapidly decaying orbit and projections have it crashing in the middle of the Australian outback and the Australian government has warned you that you’ll be paying for cleanup.

I wish for moose.

**Hawky**

Granted. Instead of a big fluffy animal, you got a noose. Fascinating, how a single silly typo can end a happy life.

I wish I could control the weather.

**ChargerIIC**

Granted, a war soon breaks out for control over you. North Korea wins by kidnapping you in the middle of the night.

I wish for the power to teleport my belongings across the country as needed