Things not to do in the 40k universe

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**Samus_aran115**

Don't dress up like an Eldar for Halloween. Chances are, you live near some of those "suburban ordo malleus" if you celebrate halloween anyway.

Automatically Appended Next Post:

Munch Munch! wrote:Ask a bloodthirster if he's a "khorne star" or is a fan of "khornography.

LOLOLOLOLOL.

I enjoyed that.

**Scorpionov**

dress up as a daemon & jump in front of your primach
Marry A SOB
Ask Kharn to play chess
Challenge Tzeentch to a game of Scrabble
Challenge Tzeentch to a game of Hangman
Challenge Tzeentch to a game of Counter strike source or any other video game for that matter unless thou wishes to get there butt handed in less than 0.2 seconds
Challenge Tzeentch to a game of Poker
Challenge Tzeentch to a game of Blackjack
Challenge Tzeentch to a game of Liars Dice
Challenge Tzeentch to a game of Monopoly
Throw fetilizer at an ork

**Krauser**

fallen_wolfborn wrote:
Commissar NIkev wrote:
fallen_wolfborn wrote:1)Don't taunt Grey Templar else thou wish to learn the DE meaning of pain.

Unless said person worships Slaneesh and enjoys said pain.

But thats definitely not me!

Obvious and brilliant.

CReeeeeeeeddd.....

**Samus_aran115**

What the hell is up with you guys and your corny SOB jokes? Can you guys grow up, please? It's incredibly annoying to see "Hit on a SOB" and "Ask a SOB for a BJ" every other post.

**metallifan**

Dude, you're asking for maturity in a joke thread that's over 20 pages in length, where most of the jokes are repeats of things posted in the first 5 pages.

Expecting maturity in this thread is like expecting a Chinese person to understand you if you talk slowly.

**Maverick**

Never, ever do an angry marine's sister.

**metallifan**

Maverick wrote:Never, ever do an angry marine's sister.

Angry Marines don't have sisters. They often don't even have parents, as an angry marine typically murders his entire family during, immediately after, or within a month of, birth

**Samus_aran115**

He murders them before he's even born,duh. He figures how to get out by himself

**Scorpionov**

invite a commissar to your birthday
Call the Dark Eldar Kinky
give typhus cold & flu medicine
Use an imperial guard as a weapon
Use a lasgun as a cigarette lighter
take the titan out for a spin
Unplug the golden throne just for laughs
install windows vista on necrons

**Commissar NIkev**

Scorpionov wrote:invite a commissar to your birthday

This should definitely be done!!!!! I am a great partygoer!!!!!!!

**purplefood**

Live.
In the 40k universe living is looked own on

**Munch Munch!**

Samus_aran115 wrote:He murders them before he's even born,duh. He figures how to get out by himself

Just like a chestburster! Or Bella's hellspawn daughter.

Automatically Appended Next Post:

Commissar NIkev wrote:
Scorpionov wrote:invite a commissar to your birthday

This should definitely be done!!!!! I am a great partygoer!!!!!!!

What's your favourite party game? Spin the coward?

**Kogwar**

Nagh i think a comi's favorite party game would be pin the bolt round on the coward.

Call a rainbow marine gay.

Oh yeah and walk around the plnet of tau saying you knocked a guy out with your fists alone. They may just kill out out of jelousy. lol

Samus_aran115 wrote:What the hell is up with you guys and your corny SOB jokes? Can you guys grow up, please? It's incredibly annoying to see "Hit on a SOB" and "Ask a SOB for a BJ" every other post.

No offense man but kinda daka you been on th last two years this is what we do and we like it.

**Scorpionov**

tell a commissar to relax
ask a bloodthirster for a ride
spike a chapter masters drink
Give a dog biscuit to a space wolf
flaming unbelivers and saying "mmm....bbq
give a nugling a bath
pour itching powder in a terminator
hooking up a black templar & eldar farseer in a dating service
hook up a grey knight & daemonette in a dating service
point at kroots private parts & laugh
replace the libarians staff with a twig
place a kick me sign on the back of a chaplain
pour birdseed on a dreadnaught
throw a frisbee at a carnifex
drag race with land raiders
replace a bolter with a water gun
try to do donuts with a chimera
use hammerheads as bumper cars
Laugh at the eldars helmet
Tell a horror it sucks at close combat
Yell "Heretic" near an inquisitior
Use a flamer to cook your food
Buy something from mekdonalds
Use a imperial guardsmen as a baterring ram

**Borkin**

Volunteer to live on a brand new colony on the fringes of Imperial space.

**Commissar NIkev**

Samus_aran115 wrote:
What's your favourite party game? Spin the coward?

Actually, my favorite would have to be playing loyalist, loyalist, HEREITC! with my Inquisitor Acolyte friends.

But you know, you guys should be thanking me for reducing the number of Inquisitorial Acolytes

Scorpionov wrote:tell a commissar to relax

You definitely don't wanna do this one, cause a Commissars way of relaxing is a Lazy-boy Chair on the back of the line with a nice cold tea watching the men charge forward.

**TyraelVladinhurst**

use a heavy flamer to light a cigar

**Mozzyfuzzy**

Ask a bloodthirster if he's part of Korn

**Space_Potato**

Taken from Turn Signals on a Land Raider, so all credit for the image goes to the author.

S_P

**Maverick**

Never, ever invite nurgle over for dinner.

**EagleArk**

Maverick wrote:Never, ever invite nurgle over for dinner.

Never go to Nurgle`s house for dinner...

**Krauser**

Never ask Nurge if you can use his toilet.

**Samus_aran115**

Never ask nurgle if you can borrow his ointment. He has none.

**Ryan Hyde**

And if he does you don't want it after where he needed it.

**Temujin**

Commissar NIkev wrote:Unless said person worships Slaneesh and enjoys said pain.

Slaanesh worshippers should definitely get a rule similar to Feel No Pain, except that instead of getting a save on a 4+ they still lose a wound but it totally turns them on.

**Krauser**

Temujin wrote:
Commissar NIkev wrote:Unless said person worships Slaneesh and enjoys said pain.

Slaanesh worshippers should definitely get a rule similar to Feel No Pain, except that instead of getting a save on a 4+ they still lose a wound but it totally turns them on.

Then it should be called "feel more pain" or "oh yeah, that's the spot"

**fallen_wolfborn**

Just don't mention it to Lucius...

**Asherian Command**

I hate that guy!

WARINING NEVER FIRE A FLAMER NEXT TO A EXPLOSIVE BARREL!

**Samus_aran115**

Never ask Failius Bible for the "buy one,get one free" vasectomy.

**Commissar NIkev**

Krauser wrote:
Temujin wrote:
Commissar NIkev wrote:Unless said person worships Slaneesh and enjoys said pain.

Slaanesh worshippers should definitely get a rule similar to Feel No Pain, except that instead of getting a save on a 4+ they still lose a wound but it totally turns them on.

Then it should be called "feel more pain" or "oh yeah, that's the spot"

NO! that should definitely NOT be a rule!!!! Thats just gross! I don't want some slaanesh warrior charging me, Screaming a BloodLust filled roar, with his Jolly Roger Flopping around!!!! Thats just gross! I mean.....if it was a female warrior and she wasn't that bad looking, I think I could capture a few prisoners

My 'Interrogation' skill will be most useful then