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Horst wrote:Nobody is ever ashamed of their hobby. They are ashamed of the people they are seen with when they play.

Quoted, for, fething, truth...

My god, my girlfriend HATES my hobby, just because of everyone else. I mean, it's one thing when she sees my friends, who aren't all over the top and disgusting, but the first time I went inside my FLGS and she came in with me everybody just stared at her. Not all of them were like "Wow, she's attractive" stares, but just like, "what is she doing in here?" stares. I immediately left and apologized to her, though the damage had been done.

I guess the point is that sure, the majority of wargamers are normal people. But there's that like, 5%, who make the stereotypes real.

Cryonicleech wrote:

Horst wrote:Nobody is ever ashamed of their hobby. They are ashamed of the people they are seen with when they play.

Quoted, for, fething, truth...

My god, my girlfriend HATES my hobby, just because of everyone else. I mean, it's one thing when she sees my friends, who aren't all over the top and disgusting, but the first time I went inside my FLGS and she came in with me everybody just stared at her. Not all of them were like "Wow, she's attractive" stares, but just like, "what is she doing in here?" stares. I immediately left and apologized to her, though the damage had been done.

I guess the point is that sure, the majority of wargamers are normal people. But there's that like, 5%, who make the stereotypes real.

hahahahahaha this is the OMFG A GIRL!!!! syndrome.....happens quite alot at my FLGS because its also a comic store and quite a few girls come through to catch up on their favorite series...


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one attractive girl plays MTG on a regular basis and almost every single regualr in the store pines after her and sucks up to her! its funny watching "nerds" in their natural habitat hit on woman....


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you get things like " sure i have a few extra black lotuses for you!" or "Wow i never thought of THAT strategy, your so good at this!" -suck ups....

Exactly.

And the funniest thing is that like, some of it isn't even like, nerds hitting on chicks, it's just like a "what do I do?" situation. I mean, I've seen some girl just walk into a store to play a game, and everybody's just like, "Well, there's no way in hell she's in here to play..." and so she just left, since no one could man up and ask her what she was doing. Hell, even the GW staffer left her alone, quite the surprise there.

It is as depressing and embarrassing as it is entertaining. Ah schadenfreude.

Cryonicleech wrote:Exactly.

And the funniest thing is that like, some of it isn't even like, nerds hitting on chicks, it's just like a "what do I do?" situation. I mean, I've seen some girl just walk into a store to play a game, and everybody's just like, "Well, there's no way in hell she's in here to play..." and so she just left, since no one could man up and ask her what she was doing. Hell, even the GW staffer left her alone, quite the surprise there.

0.o hahahahahaaa no trying to push glue and paint from his behalf....

Maybe you should start out slow? Start buy wearing that I play with Toy soldiers T-Shirt.

Go out with some friends to a bar. All sit down at one table with your Codexies and paint tables. Order tons of booze and paint and B/S about your hobby.

If anyone asks just start talking about your thing like you would your friends!

If they make fun than say...oh yeah! well you know what?
I make a living selling these toy soldiers! That's right I am a business owner "Basically pretend to own the local gamestore wherever it may be" So..lets review! You work in a mill or some kinda of factory doing what your told and I own my own business and am my own man with no one to complain to me but myself!

Field Gen wrote:Maybe you should start out slow? Start buy wearing that I play with Toy soldiers T-Shirt.

Go out with some friends to a bar. All sit down at one table with your Codexies and paint tables. Order tons of booze and paint and B/S about your hobby.

If anyone asks just start talking about your thing like you would your friends!

If they make fun than say...oh yeah! well you know what?
I make a living selling these toy soldiers! That's right I am a business owner "Basically pretend to own the local gamestore wherever it may be" So..lets review! You work in a mill or some kinda of factory doing what your told and I own my own business and am my own man with no one to complain to me but myself!

While your heart is in the right place and i see where your coming from. In New England you would most likely get your head pounded in if you sat at a table painting models, the townies wouldnt "take kindly" to making them feel uncomfortable in their comfort zone(a.k.a the bar) If they didnt start a fight with you, most likely the comments they would be snikering would start one. There is one bar that is "safe for full blown "geeking" out, its right next to my FLGS and hosts the annual christmas party+MTG tournaments.......me im more for avoiding confrontation if i can so il just stick to the Tee shirt idea ha.

There was a New York Times article about Games Workshop several years ago that was very insightful and well written. One of the salient points of the article, was that in general men are much more inclined to participate in social activities that are focused on an impersonal activity rather than the 'getting to know you' style of socializing that appeals more to women. In other words when playing 40k, a pickup game of basketball, or playing poker, men enjoy being able to socialize without the obligation to necessarily befriend or even like those with whom they are playing with. You get the benefits of human interaction (fun, creativity, challenges) without the emotional baggage of needing to be a friend.

I think there is a lot of validity to that perspective. Although I do have many good friends that play 40k, they are all people that I met while playing 40k rather than non-gamers that I introduced to the game. Most of the socializing I do with them is related to gaming, and in my experience they often don't really mix well with my non-gamer friends. The people who have been my closest friends tend not to be other 40k players, but rather school classmates, teammates, co-workers, partying buddies, and those with whom I have traveled or with whom I have shared unique experiences. In a lot of ways, they tend to be people who are different than I am, with complementary personalities. They have a funny wit, are interesting people to talk with, host killer parties, are adventurous spirits, and often have interesting careers and pastimes. Beyond that, every time one of them has expressed an interest in learning more about my miniatures hobby or playing the game, they inevitably end up grimacing their way through a short, awkward game and don't ever bring it up again.

It takes a special kind of person to enjoy tabletop wargaming, in my experience. Someone who is a sci-fi/fantasy/military history enthusiast, a bit obsessive, prone to fantasizing, and willing to devote time to complex and meticulous processes. I think we all have seen the surprise when people look at the massive quantities of models we have and say "You painted all of this?" I think this is why so many people I meet in the gaming world are IT folks or engineers. To learn to a new programming language or understand complex assemblies isn't something that most people are driven to do, but I see this trait in tons of the people that I game with. I see the sense of accomplishment that fellow gamers get from being a really good GM, or doing a killer paint job on a new creature or unit. I think that this often reflects a focus on technical mastery of discrete abilities rather than practicing more blurry interpersonal skills like being a good listener, having game, or being polite and outgoing.

I always felt like I had 40k friends and "normal" friends and I tend to keep the two worlds separate. I'll mention it to people, but people who don't play don't want to hear about it, and it does make you seem like a weirdo. I've just found that its better not to talk about it with those who aren't close friends. I enjoy the time spent around the board talking about the game and geeking out on the models and rules, but that kind of socializing isn't interesting to a lot of people, and frankly seems odd to them. So I guess that is why I keep my gaming on the DL in the grand scheme of things.

I've never had an issue with people about this. Nobody who has seen my miniatures has ever viewed it with anything other than amazement. They find it fascinating. And these are people I work with.

The big issue for me is that some of the hobbyists are not socially well adjusted individuals and tend to take their issues out on those around them or try to attract odd attention to themselves with crude manners, poor hygiene and ridiculous attire.

You live in South Africa mate, they're probably just pleased you are not trying to kill them; who cares about toy menz!

Fascinating post samwise, got a link to that article per chance?

kronk wrote:I was up-front with the girls I've recently dated. If it's a deal-breaker, it's only fair for them to know it up front.

Also, if it's a deal-breaker, I don't want to date them anyway.

This. I have a good track record. 2/3 thought my models were great. One was indifferent, and poked fun here and there.

My friends also used to do the 40-Year Old Virgin quote at me - "And now I'm going to turn your silver pants, blue." or something along those lines.

But now most of them play.

GBDarkAngel wrote:

NoArmorSave wrote:[

Dude - you have the wrong attitude. It really is amazing just how cool Warhammer 40,000 is. I mean, it is freaking awesome. You should never be ashamed of playing one of the most awesome,
engaging hobbies out there.

Not everyone that plays it is what you would call a "geek". I am a cool, normal person that plays it. Let's see:

1 - I drive a Mercedes
2 - I wear Oakley sunglasses and clothing
3 - I hold 3 different blackbelts in martial arts, and used to compete in MMA events
4 - I used to Wakeboard a lot
5 - I used to play professional level Paintball
6 - I own an Old English Bulldog
7 - I used to be a bartender, with a large clientele
8 - I have no problem with the opposite sex
9 - I believe I can get anyone excited about battling it out on the tables of the 41st millenium.

Am I still an anti-social geek?

]

Strictly tongue in cheek.


1 - I drive a Mercedes -Small Penis?
2 - I wear Oakley sunglasses and clothing - Brave man admitting to this.
3 - I hold 3 different blackbelts in martial arts, and used to compete in MMA events - Who do you hold the Black Belts for?
4 - I used to Wakeboard a lot - Well its not really advisable to do any kind of Boarding while Sleeping.
5 - I used to play professional level Paintball - Scared to Play with a real gun were we?
6 - I own an Old English Bulldog - its English, enough said.
7 - I used to be a bartender, with a large clientele - Just as well your Clientele was large (see question 1)
8 - I have no problem with the opposite sex - Ah yes but do they have a problem with you?
9 - I believe I can get anyone excited about battling it out on the tables of the 41st millenium - Yes Your Honor, i swear he got excited by me talking about wars in the 41st Millenium.

All in good humour. Thanks for being a good sport.

Whats wrong with England you cheeky Bstrd?

I run a worksite ( A program or workplace that benifits wounded soldiers to heal physical/mental wounds, and help facilitate re-introduction into civilian enviroments) For multiple combat veterans, and this entails scale modeling and wargaming.

We have been recognized by our battalion, divisional and operational command for our works and the progress this has shown for several soldiers participating in it.

We are soldiers that play with little plastic soldiers, and have no shame for what it is..its a hobby, its not who you are.

If you enjoy the hobby and it brings you joy, be proud of it, life is way to short to be obsessed with what others may or may not think of it.

After what this hobby has done for me and many of my fellow wounded warriors I will never be ashamed of it, now some of the hygiene impaired individuals we have played against at FLGS are another matter.

Cannerus_The_Unbearable wrote:I have much more... interesting things to hide than playing with toy soldiers. I think that it's more an issue of people not having social skills than the hobby itself.

sounds like a softer core version of me and my girlfreind hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha LOL

yeah this is a challenge


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as a note i find that most of my college freinds are actualy really interested in the paintjobs i do on my minatures-i get comments of cool and look what -----s painted. people really are amazed by them.

Not really ashamed of my hobby. Its a lot less "nerdy" then say if I were to be playing a children's card game like Pokemon or Yugioh which seems to be mostly played by guys 14 and up for some odd reason. War gaming is no different then playing video games. I don't really talk about it or bring it up unless it comes up naturally in conversation. The thing a lot of people seem to have not mentioned is the fact that this game is awesome when you are high.

It's the 10% of gamers that make me roll my eyes and not want to associate with them. I'm 42, don't have gamer physique, and I smell pretty good. My local game group is an interesting cross-section of people, and I don't mind associating with many of them. There's a couple, though, that I wouldn't want to associate with socially, partially because they're the stereotypical 'gamer' who have difficulty talking about anything but game, don't wash regularly, etc. Unless I make a large effort, those gamers will make a much larger impression on someone who drops by to see what's going on at a Warhammer table.


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Soo'Vah'Cha wrote:I run a worksite ( A program or workplace that benifits wounded soldiers to heal physical/mental wounds, and help facilitate re-introduction into civilian enviroments) For multiple combat veterans, and this entails scale modeling and wargaming.

We have been recognized by our battalion, divisional and operational command for our works and the progress this has shown for several soldiers participating in it.

We are soldiers that play with little plastic soldiers, and have no shame for what it is..its a hobby, its not who you are.

If you enjoy the hobby and it brings you joy, be proud of it, life is way to short to be obsessed with what others may or may not think of it.

After what this hobby has done for me and many of my fellow wounded warriors I will never be ashamed of it, now some of the hygiene impaired individuals we have played against at FLGS are another matter.

You, sir, are awesome.

ShumaGorath wrote:
Very few people care about either of your dirty laundry or social taboos.

Fix'd

It's annoying how wargaming and SOs combining tends to lead to drama in some capacity or another. Why can't they all just be casually indifferent, or at least actually be casually indifferent when they're pretending to?

I'm a patriotic nerd and thus, though I won't start a conversation with it, will be pretty open. If people ask what I intend to do with my evening or whatever I will happily say 'paint toy soldiers'.

My wife still curses the day we walked into Tower records 20 years ago and I bought Bloodbowl. most of my friends know about my lead habit, and all my family of course. I managed to get 4-5 of my nephews into it too. The only thing I find embarassing is the inevitable day when my wife does actually find out how many figures I have in my loft. My house will probably end up like the drop zones of Istvaan IV!

Etna's Vassal wrote:
My secret hobby is collecting anime figures- in particular Asuka Langley Soryu from Neon Genesis Evangelion. I've got a rather large collection of figures of her, and they stay tucked away in my bedroom. If you're ashamed of how much you drop on GW stuff, take a look at how much a good PVC figure or fully painted resin model costs. GW is a bargain by comparison.

So, in keeping with the theme of the thread, why is the secret hobby you have, a secret hobby? What makes you want to hide them away in your bedroom rather then display them in plain view?

Maybe you think the people that play your games are embarassing because you're projecting? Either way it's a lame excuse.

If hobbyists and gamers quit acting like there is something to be ashamed of, and be out and proud and in peoples face about it, maybe gamer funk would disappear.

Why try being social/presentable when you're stuck with the idea that you're a social pariah because you paint minis instead of super charge asian super compact cars or whatever it is normies do? As soon as someone can explain to me why 40k is more embarassing or silly than baseball, in a way that doesn't evoke "Well that's just the way it is" I'll reconsider. Meanwhile, acting embarassed doesn't help make it less embarassing. Acting like there is nothing to be ashamed of will though.

Sooner gamers stop acting like they need to hide something the sooner we can give up on this stupid topic.

I think another reason people are ashamed is because it is not well known. you are at a different place outside of the public view. Not like when some says "Basketball" as a hobby or interest. Everyone knows it. But whe you say "TableTop BoardGames" people think "Boardgames, He must be some grown up kid." They dont know what it is so it is seen as strange.
Im also im ashamed of TFG, So much i have put energy not to lok like him, I had a game today and i took a shower and made my hair all nice so i don't look weird.

Soo'Vah'Cha wrote:I run a worksite ( A program or workplace that benifits wounded soldiers to heal physical/mental wounds, and help facilitate re-introduction into civilian enviroments) For multiple combat veterans, and this entails scale modeling and wargaming.

We have been recognized by our battalion, divisional and operational command for our works and the progress this has shown for several soldiers participating in it.

We are soldiers that play with little plastic soldiers, and have no shame for what it is..its a hobby, its not who you are.

If you enjoy the hobby and it brings you joy, be proud of it, life is way to short to be obsessed with what others may or may not think of it.

After what this hobby has done for me and many of my fellow wounded warriors I will never be ashamed of it, now some of the hygiene impaired individuals we have played against at FLGS are another matter.

I can see why you might get some soldiers who might not other wise play to join in during the winters up there lol( assuming you still in Alaska). When people don't have access to their normal avenues of self amusement they're more likely to try new things once the boredom sets in, and every now again the new hobby will stick.
I had some luck getting several people into roleplaying back in my first tour in Iraq, when things were still a bit primitive on most FOBs, and it was so damn disorganized it could be days between real missions (convoy escorts in my case). No reliable power for video games or movies, but dice and books always work

My ex-girlfriend used to give me a hard time about playing/painting this, one of the reasons why she's now an ex. My new girlfriend has no interest in getting into Warhammer but she's really nice about it, telling me how much she likes my painting [probably because they're pink and despite being 23 she's massively into Hello Kitty], and she even picks me up White Dwarf from the local GW on her way back from the gym [although yes, she does complain about the troll like person that works there]. When I tell colleagues/my students/friends they normally take the piss for a while before losing interest and moving on to another topic.

Lots of people spend their weekends sitting in front of a TV eating and watching a televised pub karaoke compeition [X Factor] or watching other people sitting around eating [Big Brother]. To me that's embarrassing and a huge waste of time. My hobby is creative, requires intelligence, numeracy and literacy skills, patience and dedication. I love it and I'm proud of it and I'm happy to bend anyone's ear telling them about it.

Everyone is a geek about something...

I must say this thread is building my pride about being a gamer. I shall shout it from the nearest mountain top now.

Delephont wrote:

Etna's Vassal wrote:
My secret hobby is collecting anime figures- in particular Asuka Langley Soryu from Neon Genesis Evangelion. I've got a rather large collection of figures of her, and they stay tucked away in my bedroom. If you're ashamed of how much you drop on GW stuff, take a look at how much a good PVC figure or fully painted resin model costs. GW is a bargain by comparison.

So, in keeping with the theme of the thread, why is the secret hobby you have, a secret hobby? What makes you want to hide them away in your bedroom rather then display them in plain view?

Probably ought to have made that clear, eh?

Money, plain and simple. I spend a ton of it on these figures, and it's kind of embarrassing.

That, plus being kind of obsessed over a cartoon character. When I say I have a lot of Asuka stuff, I mean it. For example, I have at several figures of her in her plug suit, I have a figure of her dressed as a ninja, a witch, a monkey, a kitty cat, and a soldier. I have her and Rei Ayanami dressed as a fantasy warrior and mage respectively. I have her in the yellow dress she first appears in the series in. I have her in a china dress, an evening gown, and her school uniform. The only figures I don't have are of her in various stages of undress. They're perverted.

In fact, when I registered on Dakka, I was torn between my other obsession (Disgaea) and a reference to Asuka. I decided the more obscure character, and a reference to a throw away joke pretty close to the beginning of the game (Laharl saying "Etna's vassals are my vassals" in response to a prinny complaining about having to work for him) worked better. I know, my mind is kind of a weird labyrinth. In fact, the reason I don't have a ton of Etna stuff is because figures of her are even more expensive than figures of Asuka!

Any way, I've gotten off track. My secret shame is an obsession with a girl who doesn't even exist.

Edit: I was being a little bit too mean methinks.

I think a lot of the people I go to school with would think my hobby is "nerd shat".

...While they binge on Call of Duty ad Skyrim for 6 hours.
At least my hobby requires social interaction.

Ratius wrote:Fascinating post samwise, got a link to that article per chance?

Follow the link.

http://www.nytimes.com/2005/02/15/arts/15warh.html