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One year, a husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a
Christmas gift. The next year, he didn't buy her a gift. When she asked him
why, he replied, "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last
year!" And that's how the fight started...
My wife walked into the den and asked "What's on the television?" I replied,
"Dust." And that's how the fight started...
A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy
with what she sees and says to her husband, "I feel horrible; I look old,
fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment." The husband
replies, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect." And that's how the fight
started...
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She
said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3 seconds."
I bought her a scale. And that's how the fight started...
I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?" It warmed
my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation. "Somewhere I haven't
been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"
And that's how the fight started...
My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in
bed. I turned to her and asked, "Do you want to have sex?" "No," she
answered. I then asked, "Is that your final answer?" She didn't even look
at me this time, simply saying, "Yes." So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a
friend." And that's how the fight started...
I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95.
Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told her the beer
would make her look better at night than the cold cream. And that's how the
fight started.
I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order
first. "I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please." He asked, "Aren't
you worried about the mad cow?" "Nah, she can order for herself." And that's
when the fight started...
Mannahnin wrote:A lot of folks online (and in emails in other parts of life) use pretty mangled English. The idea is that it takes extra effort and time to write properly, and they’d rather save the time. If you can still be understood, what’s the harm? While most of the time a sloppy post CAN be understood, the use of proper grammar, punctuation, and spelling is generally seen as respectable and desirable on most forums. It demonstrates an effort made to be understood, and to make your post an easy and pleasant read. By making this effort, you can often elicit more positive responses from the community, and instantly mark yourself as someone worth talking to.
insaniak wrote: Every time someone threatens violence over the internet as a result of someone's hypothetical actions at the gaming table, the earth shakes infinitisemally in its orbit as millions of eyeballs behind millions of monitors all roll simultaneously.
Rather, I think that's what the fight resulted in.....
Mannahnin wrote:A lot of folks online (and in emails in other parts of life) use pretty mangled English. The idea is that it takes extra effort and time to write properly, and they’d rather save the time. If you can still be understood, what’s the harm? While most of the time a sloppy post CAN be understood, the use of proper grammar, punctuation, and spelling is generally seen as respectable and desirable on most forums. It demonstrates an effort made to be understood, and to make your post an easy and pleasant read. By making this effort, you can often elicit more positive responses from the community, and instantly mark yourself as someone worth talking to.
insaniak wrote: Every time someone threatens violence over the internet as a result of someone's hypothetical actions at the gaming table, the earth shakes infinitisemally in its orbit as millions of eyeballs behind millions of monitors all roll simultaneously.
Heh, funny stuff Lordhat. Interesting how you would reveal all the intricate delicacies of your relationship combined with your naughty wit to make some clever jokes.
'I once tried to kill the World's Greatest Lover...but then I realized there were laws against suicide,' Sideshow Bob.
A man and his wife were having some problems at home andwere giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realizedthat the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an earlymorning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE),he wrote on a piece of paper, 'Please wake me at 5:00 AM.' Heleft it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and seewhy his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by thebed.
The paper said, 'It is 5:00 AM. Wake up.'
Veteran Sergeant wrote:Oh wait. His fluff, at this point, has him coming to blows with Lionel, Angryon, Magnus, and The Emprah. One can only assume he went into the Eye of Terror because he still hadn't had a chance to punch enough Primarchs yet.
Albatross wrote:I guess we'll never know. That is, until Frazzled releases his long-awaited solo album 'Touch My Weiner'. Then we'll know.
warboss wrote:I marvel at their ability to shoot the entire foot off with a shotgun instead of pistol shooting individual toes off like most businesses would.
Mr Nobody wrote:Going to war naked always seems like a good idea until someone trips on gravel.
Ghidorah wrote: You need to quit hating and trying to control other haters hating on other people's hobbies that they are trying to control.
ShumaGorath wrote:Posting in a thread where fat nerds who play with toys make fun of fat nerds who wear costumes outdoors.
Marshal2Crusaders wrote:Good thing it wasn't attacked by the EC, or it would be the assault on Magnir's Crack.
In the aftermath of World War I, a defeated Germany signed the Treaty of Versailles. This caused Germany to lose a significant portion of its territory, prohibited the annexation of other states, limited the size of German armed forces and imposed massive reparations.
Adolf Hitler, after an unsuccessful attempt to overthrow the German government in 1923, became the leader of Germany in 1933. He abolished democracy, espousing a radical racially motivated revision of the world order, and soon began a massive rearming campaign. This worried France and the United Kingdom, who had lost much in the previous war, as well as Italy, which saw its territorial ambitions threatened by those of Germany.
In direct violation of the Versailles and Locarno treaties, Hitler remilitarized the Rhineland in March 1936. He received little response from other European powers.
In Europe, Germany and Italy were becoming bolder. In March 1938 Germany annexed Austria, again provoking little response from other European powers. Encouraged, Hitler began pressing German claims on the Sudetenland, an area of Czechoslovakia with a predominantly ethnic German population; France and Britain conceded this territory to him, against the wishes of the Czechoslovak government, in exchange for a promise of no further territorial demands. However, soon after that, Germany and Italy forced Czechoslovakia to cede additional territory to Hungary and Poland. In March 1939 Germany invaded the rump of Czechoslovakia and subsequently split it into the German Protectorate of Bohemia and Moravia and the pro-German Slovak Republic.
Alarmed, and with Hitler making further demands on Danzig, France and Britain guaranteed their support for Polish independence; when Italy conquered Albania in April 1939, the same guarantee was extended to Romania and Greece. Shortly after the Franco-British pledges to Poland, Germany and Italy formalized their own alliance with the Pact of Steel.
In August 1939 Germany and the Soviet Union signed a non-aggression pact. This treaty included a secret protocol to split Poland and Eastern Europe into separate spheres of influence.
On September 1, 1939, Adolf Hitler launched his invasion of Poland.
And that's how the fight started...
Anuvver fing - when they do sumfing, they try to make it look like somfink else to confuse everybody. When one of them wants to lord it over the uvvers, 'e says "I'm very speshul so'z you gotta worship me", or "I know summink wot you lot don't know, so yer better lissen good". Da funny fing is, arf of 'em believe it and da over arf don't, so 'e 'as to hit 'em all anyway or run fer it.
I'm not sure if I was supposed to laugh at that, but I did.
Veteran Sergeant wrote:Oh wait. His fluff, at this point, has him coming to blows with Lionel, Angryon, Magnus, and The Emprah. One can only assume he went into the Eye of Terror because he still hadn't had a chance to punch enough Primarchs yet.
Albatross wrote:I guess we'll never know. That is, until Frazzled releases his long-awaited solo album 'Touch My Weiner'. Then we'll know.
warboss wrote:I marvel at their ability to shoot the entire foot off with a shotgun instead of pistol shooting individual toes off like most businesses would.
Mr Nobody wrote:Going to war naked always seems like a good idea until someone trips on gravel.
Ghidorah wrote: You need to quit hating and trying to control other haters hating on other people's hobbies that they are trying to control.
ShumaGorath wrote:Posting in a thread where fat nerds who play with toys make fun of fat nerds who wear costumes outdoors.
Marshal2Crusaders wrote:Good thing it wasn't attacked by the EC, or it would be the assault on Magnir's Crack.
Lordhat wrote:One year, a husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a
Christmas gift. The next year, he didn't buy her a gift. When she asked him
why, he replied, "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last
year!" And that's how the fight started...
My wife walked into the den and asked "What's on the television?" I replied,
"Dust." And that's how the fight started...
A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy
with what she sees and says to her husband, "I feel horrible; I look old,
fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment." The husband
replies, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect." And that's how the fight
started...
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She
said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3 seconds."
I bought her a scale. And that's how the fight started...
I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?" It warmed
my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation. "Somewhere I haven't
been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"
And that's how the fight started...
My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in
bed. I turned to her and asked, "Do you want to have sex?" "No," she
answered. I then asked, "Is that your final answer?" She didn't even look
at me this time, simply saying, "Yes." So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a
friend." And that's how the fight started...
I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95.
Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told her the beer
would make her look better at night than the cold cream. And that's how the
fight started.
I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order
first. "I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please." He asked, "Aren't
you worried about the mad cow?" "Nah, she can order for herself." And that's
when the fight started...
Where have I heard these jokes before?
Are they Bill Engvall jokes? Some of 'em, anyway?
Eric
Black Fiend wrote: Okay all the ChapterHouse Nazis to the right!! All the GW apologists to the far left. LETS GET READY TO RUMBLE !!!
The Green Git wrote: I'd like to cross section them and see if they have TFG rings, but that's probably illegal.
Polonius wrote: You have to love when the most clearly biased person in the room is claiming to be objective. Greebynog wrote:Us brits have a sense of fair play and propriety that you colonial savages can only dream of. Stelek wrote: I know you're afraid. I want you to be. Because you should be. I've got the humiliation wagon all set up for you to take a ride back to suck city.
Quote: LunaHound--- Why do people hate unpainted models? I mean is it lacking the realism to what we fantasize the plastic soldier men to be? I just can't stand it when people have fun the wrong way. - Chongara
I do believe that the GW "moneysheep" is a dying breed, despite their bleats to the contrary. - AesSedai You are a thief and a predator of the wargaming community, and i'll be damned if anyone says differently ever again on my watch in these forums. -MajorTom11
The Realms of the Unreal, of the Glandeco-Angelinnian War Storm, Caused by the Child Slave Rebellion
And that's how the fight started...
2 - The hobbiest - The guy who likes the minis for what they are, loves playing with painted armies, using offical mini's in a friendly setting. Wants to play on boards with good terrain.
Devlin Mud is cheating.
More people have more rights now. Suck it.- Polonius
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1200
In the rain this morning, I rear-ended a car and the other driver got out... he was a midget!!! He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!!!' So, I looked down at him and said, 'OK, which one are you?' And that's how the fight started...
My wife asked me if a certain dress made her butt look big. I told her not as much as the dress she wore yesterday. And that's how the fight started...
My wife told me "I'm very unhappy about my small breasts. I think I would consider a breast enhancement." So I replied: "That costs too much money, besides, there's a cheap, effective and proven method to bring about bigger breasts: You get some toilet paper and rub it up and down your cleavage." She asked: "Do you really think that would give me bigger breasts"? I said: "I don't see why not. It did wonders for your ass." And that's how the fight started...
This message was edited 2 times. Last update was at 2009/02/09 23:03:07
I logged on to Dakka one morning and started a YMDC thread.
And that's how the fight started...
You know you're really doing something when you can make strangers hate you over the Internet. - Mauleed
Just remember folks. Panic. Panic all the time. It's the only way to survive, other than just being mindful, of course-but geez, that's so friggin' boring. - Aegis Grimm
Hallowed is the All Pie The Before Times: A Place That Celebrates The World That Was
My wife asked me to buy her a watch. I asked her why she needed a watch when there's a perfectly good clock on the stove. And that's how the fight started....
Mannahnin wrote:A lot of folks online (and in emails in other parts of life) use pretty mangled English. The idea is that it takes extra effort and time to write properly, and they’d rather save the time. If you can still be understood, what’s the harm? While most of the time a sloppy post CAN be understood, the use of proper grammar, punctuation, and spelling is generally seen as respectable and desirable on most forums. It demonstrates an effort made to be understood, and to make your post an easy and pleasant read. By making this effort, you can often elicit more positive responses from the community, and instantly mark yourself as someone worth talking to.
insaniak wrote: Every time someone threatens violence over the internet as a result of someone's hypothetical actions at the gaming table, the earth shakes infinitisemally in its orbit as millions of eyeballs behind millions of monitors all roll simultaneously.
My wife told me she wanted to have a baby. I told her she could one of my 6. And that's how the fight started....
And whilst you're pointing and shouting at the boogeyman in the corner, you're missing the burglar coming in through the window.
Well, Duh! Because they had a giant Mining ship. If you had a giant mining ship you would drill holes in everything too, before you'd destory it with a black hole
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.
My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'
My God!' says my wife, 'Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'
My wife asked me what I'd do if the dish-washer stopped working and I replied, "Throw it away and get a new one."
She replied that good dish-washers are very expensive.
I said, "Yeah, I know... but I'd make sure she cooks and cleans well, too."
...and that is how the fight started.
Eric
Black Fiend wrote: Okay all the ChapterHouse Nazis to the right!! All the GW apologists to the far left. LETS GET READY TO RUMBLE !!!
The Green Git wrote: I'd like to cross section them and see if they have TFG rings, but that's probably illegal.
Polonius wrote: You have to love when the most clearly biased person in the room is claiming to be objective. Greebynog wrote:Us brits have a sense of fair play and propriety that you colonial savages can only dream of. Stelek wrote: I know you're afraid. I want you to be. Because you should be. I've got the humiliation wagon all set up for you to take a ride back to suck city.
Quote: LunaHound--- Why do people hate unpainted models? I mean is it lacking the realism to what we fantasize the plastic soldier men to be? I just can't stand it when people have fun the wrong way. - Chongara
I do believe that the GW "moneysheep" is a dying breed, despite their bleats to the contrary. - AesSedai You are a thief and a predator of the wargaming community, and i'll be damned if anyone says differently ever again on my watch in these forums. -MajorTom11
5500
1200 
-- 9k 
-- 6k 
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