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Made in us
Decrepit Dakkanaut






SoCal, USA!

Brit women seek sperm

A drastic lack of sperm donors in Britain means women wanting babies are resorting to importing semen from abroad or using do-it-yourself insemination kits bought on the internet, fertility experts said on Friday.


Seems to me, if a Brit woman wants anonymous sperm, she can get all she wants at a random pub...

   
Made in gb
[DCM]
Chief Deputy Sub Assistant Trainee Squig Handling Intern






You've clearly never drunk enough skip.

The spirit is willing, but the flesh is far, far too drunk to get any kind of coordinated effort together.

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Made in ie
Joined the Military for Authentic Experience






Nuremberg

Oh dear god

Brutal honesty much, mate?

   
Made in gb
Bryan Ansell





Birmingham, UK

JohnHwangDD wrote:Brit women seek sperm

A drastic lack of sperm donors in Britain means women wanting babies are resorting to importing semen from abroad or using do-it-yourself insemination kits bought on the internet, fertility experts said on Friday.


Seems to me, if a Brit woman wants anonymous sperm, she can get all she wants at a random pub...


they should set their sights higher, like the alleyways behind nightclubs. A better class of anonymous donation.
   
Made in us
Ollanius Pius - Savior of the Emperor






Gathering the Informations.

Or set their sights even higher:

The high school virgins.

I mean, you know those guys will be more than willing to put out. And most of them will be pretty smart!

After all, it's why they're not getting laid.
   
Made in us
Mysterious Techpriest







...how could this possibly be? The problem is obviously ineptitude when it comes to setting up donors and recipients; I'm sure PLENTY are willing to help out.

DQ:90S++G+M++B++I+Pw40k04+D++++A++/areWD-R+++T(M)DM+

2800pts Dark Angels
2000pts Adeptus Mechanicus
1850pts Imperial Guard
 
   
Made in gb
[DCM]
Chief Deputy Sub Assistant Trainee Squig Handling Intern






Ineptitude, or a poor aim?

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Made in gb
Bryan Ansell





Birmingham, UK

These women should stop being so bloody picky and get out and about to meet someone.

I mean what do you say to the kiddie when they ask 'who is my daddy?'
'muck in a cup?'
   
Made in us
Decrepit Dakkanaut






SoCal, USA!

Mad Doc Grotsnik wrote:You've clearly never drunk enough skip.

The spirit is willing, but the flesh is far, far too drunk to get any kind of coordinated effort together.

Oh, I've drunk enough beforehand. Never stopped me, just slowed me down a bit. And sometimes it's nice to take one's time.

That said, if you're drinking so much that you can't even enjoy yourself afterward, I think you might take that as sign of a very serious drinking problem, and you should strongly reconsider your approach toward drink. I mean, isn't the very point of drinking so that one can reap the following reward?

   
Made in gb
[DCM]
Chief Deputy Sub Assistant Trainee Squig Handling Intern






Nonsense, it's a perfectly natural bodily defense against the Beer Goggles.

When you hit that sweet spot, you might well inadvertantly pull some Swampdonkey in the Pub/Club thanks to the Goggles. But, thanks to my body looking out for me (eyes say go, nuts say no!) I am incapable of actually hopping on the good foot and doing the bad thing!

And just in case the eyes say no and the nuts say go, I keep a bottle of Vodka next to my bed, so I am guaranteed my latest conquest looks as good in the morning after as the night before!

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Made in us
Decrepit Dakkanaut






SoCal, USA!

For the record, I've never gone home with an ugly girl. Not even once.

   
Made in gb
[DCM]
Chief Deputy Sub Assistant Trainee Squig Handling Intern






Woken up next to a couple though!

Besides, everyone knows Fat Lasses are more grateful for it!

This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2010/01/24 19:36:15


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Made in gb
Tzeentch Aspiring Sorcerer Riding a Disc





staffordshire england

Mad Doc Grotsnik wrote:Nonsense, it's a perfectly natural bodily defense against the Beer Goggles.

When you hit that sweet spot, you might well inadvertantly pull some Swampdonkey in the Pub/Club thanks to the Goggles. But, thanks to my body looking out for me (eyes say go, nuts say no!) I am incapable of actually hopping on the good foot and doing the bad thing!

And just in case the eyes say no and the nuts say go, I keep a bottle of Vodka next to my bed, so I am guaranteed my latest conquest looks as good in the morning after as the night before!


While this could be true.
The phrase "never been bed with an ugly woman, woke up with a few" comes to mind.

Maybe they don't want to sleep with a man, could be lesbians.



Its hard to be awesome, when your playing with little plastic men.
Welcome to Fantasy 40k

If you think your important, in the great scheme of things. Do the water test.

Put your hands in a bucket of warm water,
then pull them out fast. The size of the hole shows how important you are.
I think we should roll some dice, to see if we should roll some dice, To decide if all this dice rolling is good for the game.
 
   
Made in ro
Focused Dark Angels Land Raider Pilot




Eeeveryvehr

Mad Doc Grotsnik wrote:Woken up next to a couple though!


And you were the "other guy" or the "other woman" for the couple?
Sorry but i just could't help it

Could you be there

'cause I'm the one who waits for you

Or are you unforgiven too?  
   
Made in gb
[DCM]
Chief Deputy Sub Assistant Trainee Squig Handling Intern






aka_tizz wrote:
Mad Doc Grotsnik wrote:Woken up next to a couple though!


And you were the "other guy" or the "other woman" for the couple?
Sorry but i just could't help it


If only you knew!

This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2010/01/24 20:21:05


Fed up of Scalpers? But still want your Exclusives? Why not join us?

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Made in gb
Tzeentch Aspiring Sorcerer Riding a Disc





staffordshire england

hahaha



Its hard to be awesome, when your playing with little plastic men.
Welcome to Fantasy 40k

If you think your important, in the great scheme of things. Do the water test.

Put your hands in a bucket of warm water,
then pull them out fast. The size of the hole shows how important you are.
I think we should roll some dice, to see if we should roll some dice, To decide if all this dice rolling is good for the game.
 
   
Made in us
Decrepit Dakkanaut






SoCal, USA!

Mad Doc Grotsnik wrote:Woken up next to a couple though!

Besides, everyone knows Fat Lasses are more grateful for it!




This message was edited 2 times. Last update was at 2010/01/24 20:27:21


   
Made in gb
[DCM]
Chief Deputy Sub Assistant Trainee Squig Handling Intern







Fed up of Scalpers? But still want your Exclusives? Why not join us?

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Made in ro
Focused Dark Angels Land Raider Pilot




Eeeveryvehr

Mad Doc Grotsnik wrote:
aka_tizz wrote:
Mad Doc Grotsnik wrote:Woken up next to a couple though!


And you were the "other guy" or the "other woman" for the couple?
Sorry but i just could't help it


If only you knew!


Oh, but please, enlighten me! I mean US!

Could you be there

'cause I'm the one who waits for you

Or are you unforgiven too?  
   
Made in gb
[SWAP SHOP MOD]
Killer Klaivex







It's because they removed a sperm donors right to anonymity about 5 years ago. So all of a sudden, potential donators are being told that they may end up with half a dozen children knocking on the door in fifteen years time, and deciding they'd rather not donate after all. Which, to be perfectly honest, is a perfectly natural reaction.


 
   
Made in us
Fixture of Dakka




JohnHwangDD wrote:For the record, I've never gone home with an ugly girl. Not even once.


But you're gay, aren't you?
   
Made in jp
[MOD]
Anti-piracy Officer






Somewhere in south-central England.

I have been trying to donate sperm to British ladies for years, and Mrs Kilkrazy always frustrates my efforts.

I'm writing a load of fiction. My latest story starts here... This is the index of all the stories...

We're not very big on official rules. Rules lead to people looking for loopholes. What's here is about it. 
   
Made in ro
Focused Dark Angels Land Raider Pilot




Eeeveryvehr

Relapse wrote:
JohnHwangDD wrote:For the record, I've never gone home with an ugly girl. Not even once.


But you're gay, aren't you?


LOL

Could you be there

'cause I'm the one who waits for you

Or are you unforgiven too?  
   
Made in us
Decrepit Dakkanaut






SoCal, USA!

Relapse wrote:
JohnHwangDD wrote:For the record, I've never gone home with an ugly girl. Not even once.


But you're gay, aren't you?


Sorry, not even close, so you'll have to look elsewhere to satisfy your homo desires. I wish you the best of luck in your search.


   
Made in us
Steady Space Marine Vet Sergeant







Isnt that good? maybe with the forein sperm british men wont have bucked teeth and might actually be funny.

-to many points to bother to count.
mattyrm wrote:i like the idea of a woman with a lobster claw for a hand touching my nuts. :-)
 
   
Made in gb
[DCM]
Chief Deputy Sub Assistant Trainee Squig Handling Intern






Yeah, they could be morbidly obese bible bashing gun nuts

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Bryan Ansell





Birmingham, UK

Though you were both talking 'bout our women!
   
Made in us
Decrepit Dakkanaut






Mesopotamia. The Kingdom Where we Secretly Reign.

garret wrote:Isnt that good? maybe with the forein sperm british men wont have bucked teeth and might actually be funny.


Almost did a spit take here... glad I didn't since I'm drinking single malt scotch.

Why is there such a high demand for sperm donors, anyway? I blame internet porn for the shortage. How many gallons of white gold are spilled needlessly over that hussy Belladonna?

Drink deeply and lustily from the foamy draught of evil.
W: 1.756 Quadrillion L: 0 D: 2
Haters gon' hate. 
   
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[MOD]
Madrak Ironhide







Monster Rain wrote:
garret wrote:Isnt that good? maybe with the forein sperm british men wont have bucked teeth and might actually be funny.


Almost did a spit take here... glad I didn't since I'm drinking single malt scotch.

Why is there such a high demand for sperm donors, anyway? I blame internet porn for the shortage. How many gallons of white gold are spilled needlessly over that hussy Belladonna?


Maybe there's a water shortage.

DR:70+S+G-MB-I+Pwmhd05#+D++A+++/aWD100R++T(S)DM+++
Get your own Dakka Code!

"...he could never understand the sense of a contest in which the two adversaries agreed upon the rules." Gabriel Garcia Marquez, One Hundred Years of Solitude 
   
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[DCM]
Chief Deputy Sub Assistant Trainee Squig Handling Intern






SING IT WITH ME DAKKA!



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