Forum adverts like this one are shown to any user who is not logged in. Join us by filling out a tiny 3 field form and you will get your own, free, dakka user account which gives a good range of benefits to you: No adverts like this in the forums anymore. Times and dates in your local timezone. Full tracking of what you have read so you can skip to your first unread post, easily see what has changed since you last logged in, and easily see what is new at a glance. Email notifications for threads you want to watch closely. Being a part of the oldest wargaming community on the net. If you are already a member then feel free to login now.

And Clagar for Mr. T of course.

That's it... I'm making that conversion...

Mr. T

Brass Knuckles.

These blingified brass knuckles double Mr. T's strength.

Assault cannon.

This REALLY FREAKIN HUGE GUN fires exploding shells, tipped with the sigils T, Mr, or . It is fired with the following profile

Str4 Ap2 Assault 2

T grenade.

This giant grenade is so huge that even Mr.T can only carry 1. It may be used in the turn that he does not move with the following profile

Str10 Ap1 Ordinance blast Range unlimited.

Extra bling

Mr T may choose to wear extra bling, which improves his save to 2+ and incorporates a cell phone.

AH PITTY DA FOO!

Mr T is immune to instant death.

Chuck Norris

Special Rules
"Surprise Attack"
-No one ever surprises Chuck, he may re-roll for seizing the initiative

"Inspiring Presence"
-When Chuck Norris's troops see him fighting alongside them they are filled with a
sense of awe and victory, they may use Mr. Norris's leadership instead of their own

"Heroes of the Turtle Pie"
-Chuck Norris and his followers have been protecting the secret of the Turtle Pie for
all their lives, and it has forged them into true veterans. One tactical Squad may take
Counter Attack, Infiltrate, Scout, or Tank Hunters at no extra cost.

Wargear

"Roundhouse Kick"
-Instead of his normal flurry of blows, Chuck Norris may make one roundhouse kick at strength
6 that causes instant death regardless of the model's toughness.

"Turtle Shell Technique"
-Using along forgotten style of martial arts, Chuck Norris renders himself impervious to pain
and gains the Feel No Pain special rule.

I'm planning on getting a AOBR box set soon and trading for double space marines, my army may
or may not end up being an allied force of Emperor's Turtles and Emperor's Pies led by Chuck Norris
and Mr. T

(edit fo spellin, foo!)

We should have a turtle pie painting/modeling competition.

Create your turtle pie hero.

You must include iconography of both turtles and pie on your model. You must base your model on a real Warhammer figure, representing the equipment that the unit has.

What are the rules we want for the chapters?

I think lots of ordinance for them. Pie plates of doom?

Which primarch goes with which Chapter. Also the names were off the cuff and have not been ratified by the ecclesiarchy. So we will need a ruling from the original saints.

Turtle tanks are vindicators... which shoot pie of course

veteran units are teenage mutant ninja turtles.

Plasma weapons shoot really hot pie filling

Turtle tanks are vindicators... which shoot pie of course

veteran units are teenage mutant ninja turtles.

Plasma weapons shoot really hot pie filling

Which side would Mr. T and Chuck Norris take during the Heresy? Well I say they would take the side of Horus, why?

Because Nurgle is also cool and he gets some turtle pie(All praise Turtle Pie and it's mighty saints: St. God of Yams, Chaplain Shrike78, St. Mekboy, and St. 'Eadhunta, may they live long and prosper).

When Nurgle gets some turtle pie(All praise Turtle Pie and it's mighty saints: St. God of Yams, Chaplain Shrike78, St. Mekboy, and St. 'Eadhunta, may they live long and prosper) for himself, he kicks out Mortarion and institutes Mr. T and Chuck as his leading primarchs, soon after Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks all of the Chaos Gods (except Nurgle 'cause he gets turtle pie(All praise Turtle Pie and it's mighty saints: St. God of Yams, Chaplain Shrike78, St. Mekboy, and St. 'Eadhunta, may they live long and prosper)) while Mr. T yells "I pity da foo!" at them, resulting in their death.

Then they figure out that the Emperor (who is the eternal enemy of turtle pie(All praise Turtle Pie and it's mighty saints: St. God of Yams, Chaplain Shrike78, St. Mekboy, and St. 'Eadhunta, may they live long and prosper)) planted them there to kill the Chaos Gods so that he could weaken Nurgle and take all of the turtle pie(All praise Turtle Pie and it's mighty saints: St. God of Yams, Chaplain Shrike78, St. Mekboy, and St. 'Eadhunta, may they live long and prosper) for himself and let it spoil in the fridge overnight by forgetting to put plastic wrap over it. Then Chuck and Mr. T decide that they are good enough to be gods and become the dual gods of turtle pie (All praise Turtle Pie and it's mighty saints: St. God of Yams, Chaplain Shrike78, St. Mekboy, and St. 'Eadhunta, may they live long and prosper) and they repel the Emperor and take a bite of turtle pie(All praise Turtle Pie and it's mighty saints: St. God of Yams, Chaplain Shrike78, St. Mekboy, and St. 'Eadhunta, may they live long and prosper) and they live happily ever after. The end.



P.S. Turtle Pie (All praise Turtle Pie and it's mighty saints: St. God of Yams, Chaplain Shrike78, St. Mekboy, and St. 'Eadhunta, may they live long and prosper)

Shadow Nugz. for your single minded devotion to the way of turtle pie (praise be it's name), I humbly invite you to it's clergy.

If you are able, and willing to adhere to the doctrines of Turtle Pie, rise now initiate to the way of Turtle Pie!!!

Praise be, another brother that marches along the path to salvation.

focusedfire wrote:What are the rules we want for the chapters?

I think lots of ordinance for them. Pie plates of doom?

Which primarch goes with which Chapter. Also the names were off the cuff and have not been ratified by the ecclesiarchy. So we will need a ruling from the original saints.

Without really planning ahead I gave Chuck Norris a turtle based ability, so I think he gets the Emperor's Turtle's chapter, and Mr. T gets the Emperor's Pies chapter

While I cannot claim to know all there is to know about turtle pie, I would guess that Mr. T and Chuck Norris would be loyalist, because they would see that Horus was just being an idiot. And if they were loyalist, I'd put their rank above the Legio Custodes. They directly serve the Emperor!

(edit: Shrike, just thought you might want to know that you misspelled church in your signature)

Father Shrike78, I ask of you to appeal to the saints of turtle pie(may all glory in the eternal pie).

Please, bestow upon us the revered names of the Holy Orders of Turtle Pie(Praise the never ending pie). What are the Sacred names of the Orders that defend all that is righteous and Pie(Turtle be thy name).

We wish to proclaim to the universe the names of the Holy defenders so that all that is not Pie(Suffer not the Granola bar to live) may brittly crumble away.

PIE HATERS BEWARE THE _____________________ AND THE______________________________ WILL FIND AND PURGE YOU FOR YOUR HERESY!!!!!!!!!!

HAIL THE TURTLE PIE EMPEROR!Also, you've forgotten the third fallen champion of the Turtle Pie- Captain Falcon.

focusedfire wrote:Father Shrike78, I ask of you to appeal to the saints of turtle pie(may all glory in the eternal pie).

Please, bestow upon us the revered names of the Holy Orders of Turtle Pie(Praise the never ending pie). What are the Sacred names of the Orders that defend all that is righteous and Pie(Turtle be thy name).

We wish to proclaim to the universe the names of the Holy defenders so that all that is not Pie(Suffer not the Granola bar to live) may brittly crumble away.

PIE HATERS BEWARE THE _____________________ AND THE______________________________ WILL FIND AND PURGE YOU FOR YOUR HERESY!!!!!!!!!!

During tonight's communions I will seek the council of Turtle Pie and its Saints to provide the answers you crave.

May I call you brothers? Though, I have no official standing within the group. I ask for assistance.

Currently, I am tempted by an Idol of the one known as Santa. Laying before me in milk chocolate perfection. Is Santa a slice of the greater whole that is Pie?(Turtle be thy Name) Or is he a false idol that needs to be destroyed?

focusedfire wrote:May I call you brothers? Though, I have no official standing within the group. I ask for assistance.

Currently, I am tempted by an Idol of the one known as Santa. Laying before me in milk chocolate perfection. Is Santa a slice of the greater whole that is Pie?(Turtle be thy Name) Or is he a false idol that needs to be destroyed?

Ah, but the answer you seek is right before you. What better way to destroy an idol such as Santa than to eat it. It ensures your satisfaction and that there will be nothing left of this confectionery traitor

(edit for grammar)

Thank you St. God of Yams. The traitor lies headless before me. With your wisdom and the blessing of the Eternal Turtle Pie, The traitors death was satisfyingly sweet.

For your willing destruction of a traitorous idol, and continuous theorizing on the intricacies of Turtle Pie. I hereby bestow upon you the rank of scholar in the Church of the Children of he Turtle Pie。

(edit:

As to where this rank places you in the hierarchy of Turtle Piousness, you should consult Chaplain Shrike, who commands the physical church government.)

Brothers! Our convent gorws daily! We shall oust the conffectionary traitors!

YOU CANNOT SILENCE ME!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hey who the hell are you? Get off my computer!!!! *splat*
sorry about that, some creep was typing stuff in caps lock about not being silenced, I've really gotta lock the door to my PC room, so what's all this about Turtle Pie then? Hey what's this on my desk? "Tortoise Pie fortress password: Tacos" Geez, what the hell has been going on here? I hope you didn't think that was me! I've been in Scotland for a few weeks, as I mentioned in my O&G blog thread. I am a fan of turtles more than tortoises (their name is more fun though I confess, I like Terrapins the most)
Although I believe peace is required between Tortoise and Turtle, the Terrapins shall oversee the treaty, but it's unlikely, with all the hate in this modern world, seriously why didn't you just try TALKING to the tortoises, solving your differences over a nice cup of coffee? You people make me sick, especially you, FocusedFire, Beheading is NOT the answer

Ok, I have read the threads and understand turtle pie, interesting, I also have heard a rumour that one of the two turtle pie primarchs turned to chaos, and founded the tortoise pies. Is this true? Religious reptile people?

Fellow devotees, I have long known of the writings of an English literary genious whose most frequent and popular tales feature examples of both turtle and pie.

In one of the earliest of these, the might of the turtle is proven when it devours a comet to protect a world of undeniable pieishness. The visionary behind these tales is a respected member of the world's literary community who has, over time, earned my fandom and indeed my respect in light of his recently discovered challenges. His earliest prophesy , if I may call it that, in which he presented both the Star Turtle (species: Chelys galactica) and the round, flat, world it suports was as long ago as 1981.

I present to you all an image of said Mighty Turtle and World of Pieishness :


Great A'Tuin (Chelys galactica) & The Discworld ( from the Discworld Books by Terry Pratchett)

I ask that the creator of these tales be canonised that he may elevate to the brotherhood of our most Holy Saints ; St. God of Yams, St. Mekboy, and St. 'Eadhunta, and our devout leader,Chaplain Shrike78.

Join with me, brothers, as I ask that Sainthood in the Church of the Children of Turtle Pie be granted to Terry of Pratchett

As a Scholar in the Church of the children of Turtle Pie, and being familiar with the works of this great prophet. I both second and Pie the motion. All praise the Sacred Turtle Pie.

I also motion that, Reaper 6, be named amongst the Scholars of Pie or named A Seer of Pie. For Reaper 6 on has shown us Pievahna. The eternal reward for the Pie-ous.

I second the motion that Reaper 6 be initiated as a scholar of the Church of the Children of Turtle Pie, as his study of it's tenents has led to a greater understanding of its sanctity for us all.

I don't bother making pies, I just eat the turtles while they are still alive. Can my head be chopped off now for my sins?

It has been a while since we have discussed what the names and organization of our Marine Chapters should be.

I humbly place this idea before our saints, scholars, and chaplain.

Two chapters, the Emperor's Turtles and Emperor's Pies (not too attached to the names)

They are unique in that one never goes to war without the other, so that Turtle may always be combined with Pie.

The Emperor's Turtles, led by Chuck Norris are made for mobility and assault (not necessarily CC oriented), their strategy involves quickly accessing the situation and striking before the enemy knows they're there, much like a turtle catching a goldfish. Their backup comes in the form of elite "hardshell" terminators.

They are complimented by the Emperor's Pies, who favor explosives and vehicles, much like their Primarch, MR. T. The infantry in the army will always take more exposives if available. The Emperor's pies are known for very carefully planning their actions beforehand, preparing for every variable. because they "Just love it when a plan comes together."

Comments, criticism, suggestions?

God Of Yams wrote:The Emperor's pies are known for very carefully planning their actions beforehand, preparing for every variable. because they "Just love it when a plan comes together."

I would suggest then that the senior Chaplain be the Master of Sanctity Chaplain Hannibal, accompanied by Chief Librarian Peck, AKA Face, and they have a company similar to the DA's Raven Wing under the command of Captain "Howling Mad" Murdock, known throughout the Legions Astartes for his brilliant Air Assault Strategies and unstoppable "Crazy Foo" approach to combat.

Reaper6 wrote:

I would suggest then that the senior Chaplain be the Master of Sanctity Chaplain Hannibal, accompanied by Chief Librarian Peck, AKA Face, and they have a company similar to the DA's Raven Wing under the command of Captain "Howling Mad" Murdock, known throughout the Legions Astartes for his brilliant Air Assault Strategies and unstoppable "Crazy Foo" approach to combat.

Ha, Murdock must have a landspeeder.

But of course, such would be only right and proper. How else could he demonstrate his grasp of unorthodox aerial combat.

I assume you have read my earlier post regarding raising Terry Pratchett to Sainthood within the order in light of his prophesies and ongoing contributions to Might of The Turtle and Sanctity of Pie.

Would you consider Pratchett as worthy of joining you and your most holy comrades ?

I am a saint myself, and as such have little to do with the process of electing new saints, it would be unfair to allow current saints to do such things.

But I do know a good Idea for a home world when I see one. Just replace the disk with a giant pie.

So, the most holy worldship of both the Praetors of Pie and the Templars Testudines (edited due to the wise council of scholar focused fire), is in fact a Turtle Pie of epic proportions.

And now the Guardians are joined by yet another member, newly discovered due to the efforts of Scholar Reaper6.

Terry Prachett, who leads the Naval elements of the Turtles Templar.

All hail the guardians of Turtle Pie!!!