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@Ma55ter_fett: Lol, I'm getting there. One of my current hook ups has much crazier stories than I do though.

@the drinking comment: My tolerances are still terrible be it smoking or drinking so it's nearly impossible for me to do that, not that I've ever tried I'm a three beer kinda guy. the 4th one drops me. That's not counting the fact that I'm probably closer to acting drunk while I'm sober than most people are after their first drink.

More stories when I'm not at work!

We need a NSFW forum...

Sanctjud wrote:We need a NSFW forum...

Seconded.

Who do you think should be the Moderators for the LOL Folder.... not to be confused with the eventual LOLI Folder...

Sanctjud wrote:Who do you think should be the Moderators for the LOL Folder.... not to be confused with the eventual LOLI Folder...

Why...Frazz of course,what's a NSFW forum without weiner?...dogs that is.

NSFW thread?

Some of my tales aren't suitable for humanity.


They could be toned down i suppose...

Mr. Burning wrote:NSFW thread?

Some of my tales aren't suitable for humanity.

Y'know Burning...I like you more and more with each post.

Right... so you two can get a room and a cup and I'll get behind the Recorder...

I once bumped into a girl at a swimming pool and accidentally got her pregnant. Luckily, abortion is legal so everything worked out ok. Determining how to split the doctor's bill, now that was awkward.

Sanctjud wrote:Right... so you two can get a room and a cup and I'll get behind the Recorder...

Well....that would certainly be some NSFW materieal..but...um..no.

Cannerus_The_Unbearable wrote:@Ma55ter_fett: Lol, I'm getting there. One of my current hook ups has much crazier stories than I do though.

@the drinking comment: My tolerances are still terrible be it smoking or drinking so it's nearly impossible for me to do that, not that I've ever tried I'm a three beer kinda guy. the 4th one drops me. That's not counting the fact that I'm probably closer to acting drunk while I'm sober than most people are after their first drink.

More stories when I'm not at work!

You see Can' the trick is to 'appear to be drinking' tolerance means nothing when your glass is full of water!

Personally I too have a low threshold, Though I make it worse (or better depends on your point of view when you drink with me) by hitting the top shelf as soon a I hit the bar. I say its a low threshold, I'm usually standing by the time the rest move onto tequila slammers and i can pace myself, but I have been known to enter a bar after work and be rotten by 7.30pm and then home to bed.

Although I don't realise I actually become very flirty when I am drunk, being naturally introverted this is quite amusing for some. It wasn't amusing in the past when, I made the right noises to my Exs best friend who was going out with MY best friend. I dint realise I was doing it, I did wonder why my ex was frosty with me and my mate had to be restrained a few times.

I do this when I am sober as well, I guess its empathy, or some such, it has confused many wimmins and angered quite a few of their boyfriends too. I still stand oblivious to the train wrecks I cause.

I should point out that I am no alcoholic and getting leathered whilst the pubs are still empty is not a normal occurance.

Cheesecat wrote:Here's a thread where you can discuss moments you've shared with a member of the opposite gender, that meant to be intended well but instead you put yourself in complete embarrassment.I'll start off with a few stories from my previous thread

(link here:http://www.dakkadakka.com/dakkaforum/posts/list/325252.page).

"I was actually trying to rest my arm on this girl I liked abdomen while sleeping with her (we had a sleep-over) but I placed my limb way too high up. Not noticing what I had done she quickly told me I was touching her boobs so I lowered it to my

intended location."

and

"Well with the same girl I've also titty smacked her when I was trying to help retie her bracelet for her, the string that holds it together snapped as I tried to make a knot the force causing the back of my hand to fly into her breasts. Also another time

when I was looking into a microscope I put my hand up to ask for the teacher and I didn't notice her leaning over me so I ended up grabbing her bosoms instead."

Where the hell did you grow up cheesecat? an episode of Tenchi Muyo?


As far as I'm aware, I have been totally oblivious to about 80% of flirting that goes on around me, however haven't had to worry so much as I've been with my girlfriend for the past 6 years.

Sanctjud wrote:Right... so you two can get a room and a cup and I'll get behind the Recorder...

You see, Sanctjuds filthy mid is why we cant have a NSFW thread.

A truly disturbed individual.

Thank you very much.
I praise high praise.

Umm... I got accused of stalking once...

Sanctjud wrote:Thank you very much.
I praise high praise.

Umm... I got accused of stalking once...

AWKWARD!

Dancing with an Asian girl, we kiss, I say: 'You know, i've always kinda liked Asians'..... FAIL

I had to bite my fist several times during reading this. It was just too damn awkward.

Mr. Burning:
If you want to see more, please stop by the Tavern Games over at 40K Online... ... I would say akward is putting it lightly.

A small preview... um... I'm a Pedobear fan over there...

So I had 'relations' with my currant Girl friend whilst I was going out with my previous Girl friend. That was a fun experience when the former found out.

So, yesterday I wake up at 5:00am (as you do), and look out of my window (as one also does ) to see this girl across the street about my age staring at me. Now, as I am one of those people who are incredily abusive and grumpy when I first wake up, I first ask her (yep, I am LOUD in the morning as well-rising from 'the black pit' as my sister puts it is always interesting when I'm around ) what she's doing and why she's staring, before getting rther...irritable when she won't stop. And yes, I will admit that I said some things that I'm not proud of out of her earshot.
I met her later on in the day, and by that time was carmed down enough to ask her why she was staring at me in a more civil manner. You can probably see where this is heading.

Yep, she is, as you probably guessed, blind.

I agree with the double facepalm... but her being blind didn't come up.

I was half expecting a story about wearing the emp's new clothes and going out into the world.

Back when I was in 2nd grade I accidently grabbed a girls butt. We were in line to go to lunch, and she was talking to her friend, so I tried to push her with the palm of my hand. I didn't bring my hand up far enough fast enough. I had to endure the mandatory 5 weeks of people pointing and going "na-na-na-na-na!" without the possibility of parole

Sanctjud wrote:I agree with the double facepalm... but her being blind didn't come up.

I was half expecting a story about wearing the emp's new clothes and going out into the world.

Oh no, that's another story for another time.

ghosty wrote:So I had 'relations' with my currant Girl friend whilst I was going out with my previous Girl friend. That was a fun experience when the former found out.

Well... could you possibly talk them into a manage et twa?

Mr. Burning wrote:

Cannerus_The_Unbearable wrote:@Ma55ter_fett: Lol, I'm getting there. One of my current hook ups has much crazier stories than I do though.

@the drinking comment: My tolerances are still terrible be it smoking or drinking so it's nearly impossible for me to do that, not that I've ever tried I'm a three beer kinda guy. the 4th one drops me. That's not counting the fact that I'm probably closer to acting drunk while I'm sober than most people are after their first drink.

More stories when I'm not at work!

You see Can' the trick is to 'appear to be drinking' tolerance means nothing when your glass is full of water!

As long as I stay away from my phone and am not allowed to text anyone, I'm cool when I get innebriated I tend to get really mushy if I mix weed and alcohol to the point that I start telling everyone how much I love them and how awesome they are and how I'd totally go down on them and not ask for anything in return XD It's not gotten me into any trouble that I didn't want to be in yet. And I tend to get a drink, then grab someone else's empty glass and let it sit next to mine. I also let people sip off mine to give the illusion that I've had more to drink.

@leigen: Amazing.

One more and I'll try to keep this from getting too far, though feel free to edit me if it turns otherwise.

Manchu says: You just found the line. Or rather, you might have glimpsed it as you blasted past it at Mach 5. This sort of thing can stay on the Lady Gaga forum you mention below please!

Just throwing it out there, but the Gaga forums I'm on have an amazing adult section the requires mod approval to be allowed entry. I think that would be fantastic here! Failing Dakka wanting to tarnish their image we could always start another forum just for dirty, filthy, wonderful things.

Oh I tried.

Ooh what about red hand slapping a girl on the boob. Biggest mistake after getting carried away ever?

Quite possibly.

Cannerus_The_Unbearable wrote:

Mr. Burning wrote:

Cannerus_The_Unbearable wrote:@Ma55ter_fett: Lol, I'm getting there. One of my current hook ups has much crazier stories than I do though.

@the drinking comment: My tolerances are still terrible be it smoking or drinking so it's nearly impossible for me to do that, not that I've ever tried I'm a three beer kinda guy. the 4th one drops me. That's not counting the fact that I'm probably closer to acting drunk while I'm sober than most people are after their first drink.

More stories when I'm not at work!

You see Can' the trick is to 'appear to be drinking' tolerance means nothing when your glass is full of water!

As long as I stay away from my phone and am not allowed to text anyone, I'm cool when I get innebriated I tend to get really mushy if I mix weed and alcohol to the point that I start telling everyone how much I love them and how awesome they are and how I'd totally go down on them and not ask for anything in return XD It's not gotten me into any trouble that I didn't want to be in yet. And I tend to get a drink, then grab someone else's empty glass and let it sit next to mine. I also let people sip off mine to give the illusion that I've had more to drink.

@leigen: Amazing.

One more and I'll try to keep this from getting too far, though feel free to edit me if it turns otherwise.

Manchu says: You just found the line. Or rather, you might have glimpsed it as you blasted past it at Mach 5. This sort of thing can stay on the Lady Gaga forum you mention below please!

Just throwing it out there, but the Gaga forums I'm on have an amazing adult section the requires mod approval to be allowed entry. I think that would be fantastic here! Failing Dakka wanting to tarnish their image we could always start another forum just for dirty, filthy, wonderful things.

You sir, just joined the Red Wings, and Im not talking the hockey team

Sanctjud wrote:We need a NSFW forum...

To some people on this site the above statement^ will bring a sense of great exclusiveness.

Ma55ter_fett wrote:

Sanctjud wrote:We need a NSFW forum...

To some people on this site the above statement^ will bring a sense of great exclusiveness.

I don't think it's necessary I can almost say anything I want on DakkaDakka without breaking the rules. And anything that is more risque I just use metaphors, subtlety and vague descriptions to get the image across although, I still wish the mods

were more lenient with the masturbation jokes.

Once you've tasted the freedom of being able to post pictures of bisected genitals without a language filter, you'll never be the same