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Connor McKane wrote:How about their inability to turn a damn light off. I came home from work today and my fiancee and her sister were in the living room, watching tv.

With the 3 table lamps on, the overhead cieling fan light on, the dining room light on, the kitchen lights on (including the under the cabinet lights)

The light in the hall way, the light in the laundry room, the light in the guest bedroom, all of the light in the guest bathroom.... etc etc..

Sufficie it to say I pointed out to her that there was only three lights in the whole house not on.

The light in my walk in closet, the light in the stairwell and the light in the refrigerator.

TURN OFF THE DAMN LIGHTS WOMAN!

This for sure. Ill be outside mowing(so obviously its pretty bright outside) come inside, and the wife will have the kitchen light on. Our kitchen has 2 windows in it for feth sakes! If you cant see with 2 windows pouring in sunlight then youve got a problem

KingCracker wrote:

This for sure. Ill be outside mowing(so obviously its pretty bright outside) come inside, and the wife will have the kitchen light on. Our kitchen has 2 windows in it for feth sakes! If you cant see with 2 windows pouring in sunlight then youve got a problem

Have you ever thought she may believe sunlight is evil and is using the awe inspiring man created light to drive away the evil natural light?

corpsesarefun wrote:What I will never understand is the double standards.

Yeah, I know what you mean. They seem to want their cake and eat it too...

Slarg232 wrote:

corpsesarefun wrote:What I will never understand is the double standards.

Yeah, I know what you mean. They seem to want their cake and eat it too...

In some cases,yes that's very true...however that IS understandable from a certain perspective,most of us would like to have our cake and eat it too..we just tend to grasp that it probably won't happen.

What I genuinely don't understand is the female habit (at least in many cases) of using the same "argument tactics" repeatedly,even though they have proven to be ineffectual.

Me: What's the matter?
Her: Nothing. (clearly there is)
Me: Oh..this again.
Her: What do you mean "This Again"?
Me: We're playing the "I won't tell you why I'm mad ..because if you REALLY loved me you'd be able to read my mind game".
Her: I hate you.
Me: I know.

One of my girlfriends tried the "nothing" game with me. My response was to say "cool," and then ignore her.

Another good response is "well, let me know when there's something you want to talk about."

Polonius wrote:One of my girlfriends tried the "nothing" game with me. My response was to say "cool," and then ignore her.

Another good response is "well, let me know when there's something you want to talk about."

Just one of your girlfriends tried the "nothing" game with you?...you've obviously had better luck with selection than I,as at least a dozen previous woman I've dated used the "Nothing" game as a standard tactic.
But yes, I agree allowing them to "stew in their own juices" until they decide to rationally discuss what the problem is usually works best...not always,but usually.

Relationships, even healthy ones, have at their core the underlying tension between two people, and how much each is willing to do to keep the other. Whoever is willing to do less, or is willing to walk away quicker, will always have the advantage in any conflict. that's true in business as well, btw.

The nothing game is built around the idea that a man is so willing to avoid an argument or disatisfaction that he'll go to any length to make her happy, even when she refuses to communicate. the only way to win is to show that you're not afraid of her being upset with you.

Even in a long term relationship, letting your partner know that you are willing to walk away rather than put up with certain behavior is healthy. There is even some research that seems to indicate that people like knowing that their parnters have standards and are not weak willed.

I just don't get why they want to drink Beer all the time, watch the NFL on the TV, go out with their mates and play sports.

They generally don't like pink, spending lots of time with their partners and finding time to make moments special for the relationship.


Wait.. I think I'm doing this wrong.

Morathi's Darkest Sin wrote:I just don't get why they want to drink Beer all the time, watch the NFL on the TV, go out with their mates and play sports.

They generally don't like pink, spending lots of time with their partners and finding time to make moments special for the relationship.

I agree. Women should be sensitive like men; more headbutts and farts.

Married nearly 15 years. I still don't understand why when she asks me to do something... and I do it right away... I still get in trouble because she had to ask me to do it in the first place.

"Mind Reading" was NOT part of our pre-marital counseling... which apparently was an oversight.

Gitsplitta wrote:"Mind Reading" was NOT part of our pre-marital counseling... which apparently was an oversight.

Carefully explain to her that it was her fault for not marrying a mutant with the psychic ability to read minds.

Then give her an X-Men comic for a frame of reference.

the nothing game is simply annoying.

The "I shouldn't have to ask you, you should want to do it" game is a nightmare.

Polonius wrote:the nothing game is simply annoying.

The "I shouldn't have to ask you, you should want to do it" game is a nightmare.

This is so true...

I'll happily deal with the "Nothing" game over the latter,as...in my experience,the " I shouldn't have to ask,you should just want to" game seems to impact on a much deeper level...when that game comes into play a woman is genuinely judging just how much you really do care.

Polonius wrote:the nothing game is simply annoying.

The "I shouldn't have to ask you, you should want to do it" game is a nightmare.

That is when you have to decide between the voracious, all-consuming devourer of your wallet and attention and your wife. One of them has to go.

Well, the nothing game is a test of wills.

The "you should want to" game is an indictment of behavior. She's basically calling out that you don't care enough, or love her enough, or fail in some way. Now, sometimes that's true. It's one thing to not do your share of housework or whatnot. It's also different fro the things that really matter: if she takes her birthday really seriously, she shouldn't need to ask to ahve a party.

That said, there is a limit to fair share, and there is a limit to the number of truly special things any person can expect. Generally though, this game can be ducked. Just don't respond. a little indifference can go a long way.

The bottom line is that everybody deals with emotioanl stress in different ways, and women are more likely to expect their partner to bear the brunt of their release. Some of it is just the cost of doing business. In the long run, you have to decide wheter untangling a woman's entire emotional support structure or simply allowing her to be pissed at you once a month is easier.

Polonius wrote:Relationships, even healthy ones, have at their core the underlying tension between two people, and how much each is willing to do to keep the other. Whoever is willing to do less, or is willing to walk away quicker, will always have the advantage in any conflict. that's true in business as well, btw.

The nothing game is built around the idea that a man is so willing to avoid an argument or disatisfaction that he'll go to any length to make her happy, even when she refuses to communicate. the only way to win is to show that you're not afraid of her being upset with you.

Even in a long term relationship, letting your partner know that you are willing to walk away rather than put up with certain behavior is healthy. There is even some research that seems to indicate that people like knowing that their parnters have standards and are not weak willed.

I agree with the ideas here,unfortunately (maybe), for quite some time I was the one who was always willing to walk away and do less,eventually leading to two divorces and a plethora of crash and burn relationships.

It took some considerable time for me to couple my "take care of number one" attitude with a desire to actually attempt to nurture another person and try to make a relationship work.

Polonius wrote: In the long run, you have to decide wheter untangling a woman's entire emotional support structure or simply allowing her to be pissed at you once a month is easier.

They should have defensive marriage classes to go along with classes dealing with defensive driving.

Monster Rain wrote:
Their general propensity to talk. Constantly. About things I really don't care about.

THIS. Ugh.

It might just be me but it seems like many of the issues we run into with women have to do with an overall lack of confidence. I've observed way too many times a woman trying to act all tough and independent while also "needing" support that should could have gotten if she weren't so busy trying to keep up her bs persona of trying to act how she thinks you want her to. Yet she denies she's doing it to gain your approval even though it's obvious she is. The separation (or lack thereof) of rational thought and emotional feeling is the killer for me. I look at a situation and ask if it's worth the cost or not, and they look at the same situation and choose whatever is more comfortable and familiar.

Cannerus_The_Unbearable wrote:It might just be me but it seems like many of the issues we run into with women have to do with an overall lack of confidence. I've observed way too many times a woman trying to act all tough and independent while also "needing" support that should could have gotten if she weren't so busy trying to keep up her bs persona of trying to act how she thinks you want her to. Yet she denies she's doing it to gain your approval even though it's obvious she is. The separation (or lack thereof) of rational thought and emotional feeling is the killer for me. I look at a situation and ask if it's worth the cost or not, and they look at the same situation and choose whatever is more comfortable and familiar.

Truth...

Polonius wrote:
The bottom line is that everybody deals with emotioanl stress in different ways, and women are more likely to expect their partner to bear the brunt of their release. Some of it is just the cost of doing business. In the long run, you have to decide wheter untangling a woman's entire emotional support structure or simply allowing her to be pissed at you once a month is easier.

Exactly. Ultimately the signs of emotional stress are the sorts of things that most societies view as being embarrassing. As a result, they tend to be most freely expressed around those that are willing, or able, to bear it. This is almost always significant others, close friends, or members of the family. As such, heterosexual men that aren't with women that have a realistic chance of threatening them physically (it isn't like men don't have their own releases) are bound to end up on the receiving end of some level of emotional release.

Its not really as complicated as everyone seems to believe, its merely the natural frustration that follows from dealing intimately with someone that isn't exactly like you.

That being said the "You should want to do it!" game is frustrating as hell, though not from the perspective of responding to it. There's always the "I can't want to do something that I'm unaware of." response.

I consider myself pretty lucky in a way, because I have mostly avoided any of the mind games talked about here. I tend to get to know girls fairly well before going out with them though, and a sensible outlook is bloody vital to me finding them attractive. (Can lead to LONG stretches of being single.)
I've seen some of the behaviour in my female friends and workmates though.
In my current workplace, the team is female dominated. This doesn't bother me, though at times I think things get a bit too emotional and stuff. The upside is lots of cakes. However, a few of the ladies (the younger ones, it must be said) complain about sexism and so on, and how men have it easier in our line of work (teaching). Some of it has some merit, and I agree with them, other bits I disagree with. I usually keep my mouth shut, even when they insult me with what they are saying.
The other day though, they came out with something that took the cake (the only upside!).
Our boss is really good, and he's a man. But he's leaving soon to take another position. Oh well, not too bad really. The women were talking about who they'd want to replace him, and they came to the conclusion that they wanted a middle aged man. Not a woman, because, in their own words "I just wouldn't respect her, I think we'd all bitch about her behind her back and nothing would get done."
W.T.F. ARGH
Way more sexist than anything I've ever even THOUGHT- I don't care who gets the bloody job, as long as they are competent!

Lets get this thread back on track, psycho babble my arse!

Shoes!

10 boxes of irregular choice shoes by the wardrobe along with the entire bottom of the wardrobe covered in yet more shoes!

Clothes!

3/4 of our wardrobe space, half of our draw space, and clothes stored under ours and the boys beds.

I am replacing a favourite pair of jeans which I have totally worn out. The vicious harridan has made comments regarding 'space'.

WTF!!!!

The "I shouldn't have to ask you, you should want to do it" game is a nightmare.

News flash: If I WANTED to do it, it would be DONE already.

Since it is NOT done, I clearly do not want to do it, regardless of what you think I should or should not want to do.

Ergo - If you want something done, that isn't getting done, you know I don't want to do it. Thus you must ask me to do it, at which point I likely will, but I will also probably complain. This will display to you that I am doing something I don't want to do FOR you, which should make you happy.

If this does not make you happy tough gak.

Worms

P.S. Happily married for 6 yrs.

How is it that our apartment is always messy yet I'M the one that isnt cleaning up?

That's a pretty common one. Men are messy. This is a cultural norm. It couldn't possibly be a GIRL that is leaving the place in such a state.
*Da Boss glares around his (reasonably) tidy flat and snorts with the satisfaction of a man living on his own for the first time in his life, who has beer*

This one has happened several times...and when it does I start feeling like Wayne Brady in that I want to "choke a bytch".

We'll go grocery shopping, with absolutly nothing at the house...we do sometimes due to our busy schedules.

Right toward the end of shopping, we'll have a full cart and she'll be like "what are we having for dinner tonight?" or "we've got all this stuff and no planned meals" After I give the expected male "who gives a plop, we'll make due" answer she'll get COMPLETELY frustrated, throw her hands up and say...I dont even want to do this anymore, let's just leave....and be perfectly fine wasting an hour grocery shopping and walk off from the cart....pissed.

I will say one thing that my woman does that drives me nuts...

When you finish the laundry, you are supposed to fold it and put it in the closet or into the drawers...

...dont leave it in the bastket and then complain that I throw a wet towel into A LAUNDRY BASKET!!! Which is for DIRTY clothes. If you can't finish the load of laundry.... dont start it.

On a side note...

I can't stand dudes that dye thier hair. Dude... You are a Dude. If you use a product with a chick on the cover... then it aint for dudes. Man-Card revoked.

But some condoms have chicks on the cover!

Then don't buy those... they do make "Female Condoms" are you sure you are in the right place?

I've been married/living with a woman for 7 years now. There are some funny things about their behavior and thought processes for sure.

For instance, what is it about the sight of a man on a couch that invokes such riteous fury in a woman? I say, but baby, just watching you flit around the house makes me so TIRED!

One thing I've also learned, is that when you 'ask' (of course none of us have to ask our wives to do something) if she minds if you do this or that, say go boozing with the boys, or spend $100 on a battleforce, and she gets mad that you've asked - well you might as well go ahead and do it. You're already in trouble, just because you don't do it is not going to lessen the rage that you wanted to do it in the first place. So you may as well make being in the doghouse worth it, and go get drunk or get a new army.

One other thing I've noticed over the years is their inability to let things go without saying something. I'd dispute the above claim that men are messier, it's just that we don't care as much when there is a mess. I'll pick up my wife's clothes, make the bed, put her dishes away, no problem - it took 5 seconds and I'll never think about it again. If she has to do any of that, it's often necessary for her to come and find me to tell me she had to do it!

That ties into one more observation I've made over the years - the womanly rhetorical question. I'm the type of man who will make a sandwich and pour a glass of milk, then take it to the table and devour it all before returning to clean it up. She'll come along and say something like 'did you want to put the milk away?'. As if I planned on leaving it on the counter all night. Or I'm leaving for work, and forgetting my lunch, and she'll say 'did you want to take your lunch today?' as if making it and leaving it on the counter, and being hungry all day, was my intention all along. Why not just put the milk away, or give me my lunch? To quote Magneto: Why ask questions to which you already know the answer?

In any case, none of that really matters, and even when it's really annoying I still get a kick out of it. The good outweighs the bad!

One more thing that was really hard to understand was the womanly responses when we had our newborn baby. It is really hard for a mom to hear her baby cry, it provokes a deep, genetic response in them. Baby cries (for no reason - it's fed, dry, and warm - babies cry, dude), then mom feels so bad for the baby she beats herself up if she can't stop it. Dad just feels bad for dad!