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Nemesor wrote:how'd your exam go?

only 3? thats 3 per 1000 spez mehrens and you hav what 3.5k of them? you could have 10.5 battle barges

Each Battle Barge can IIRC just about manage an entire chapter.
Though i could be wrong about that.

half a battle barge! wow. just realised how stupid that is...

Bfg says only three per a chapter which is kinda dumb. Exam went well unfortunately I have four more. I won't be writing til saturday mostly because of a girl problem. And then training on Friday all day.

girls... had the situation when they are acting really idk attracted to another guy then they come talk to you say you are acting weird and think you are cheating on them? the workings of a girls mind s weird. us guys generally think in straight lines where as girls go down every possible side alley sometimes

Nemesor wrote:girls... had the situation when they are acting really idk attracted to another guy then they come talk to you say you are acting weird and think you are cheating on them? the workings of a girls mind s weird. us guys generally think in straight lines where as girls go down every possible side alley sometimes

UH actually no not that. More of a friendship stress where we both have no idea if we should be friends or stay away from each other. We are both leaning towards friendship though.

Anyway I have wrote 2 paragraphs on the necron flayer stuff. (I hate matt ward more than ever. For now I must write morrrrrreeeeeee)

Lol. is the reason people decide to stay friends cause they still like each other? i have broken up wit someone twice the way that i mentioned. it was the same person. i must haave a bad taste in girls. . anyway every one hate matt ward. who makes a codex where it has dedicated cc units with iniative 2? really. on the bright side they are about te most indestructably units with t5 out there when they have dispersion shields and lord with res orb. T 5 3+ 4++ and rp 4+++ deep strike behind hammerhead. it shoots you make your invulnerable save. shoot it with its own strength ten attack. rp you dead back to life (hopefully). BUT he nerfed the monoliths living metal. only resistant to shaken or stunned not glancing. still better than the land raider. ds onto an objective. push the other units out of the way. gauss flux arc X 4 each firing at a different target. suck a unit of immortals through the portal. Shoot. again. tesla carbines. every roll of a 6 gives you two extra hits. which may also roll a 6. which may also roll a 6 and so on. you could destroy a boyz mob with 1 immortal if your lucky =)


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or didnt you go out with her. as you can tell im a bit of a gossip

No more final exams!
So that means i will now be spending time finishing up my Storm Crusaders with a complete rewrite... Yeah..

The Storm Crusaders then helped fashion the Alpha Squadron, a Deathwatch counterpart that mainly and only involves itself in the Ghoul Stars. Finding a way to defeat the Necron Flayed Ones who run rampant in the Ghoul Stars. The Flayed ones not only target Imperial forces but also the Ork Waghs!, or the hundreds of other xenos empires. Rarely do they attack the Imperial Space as the Flayed ones being intelligent enough to know to attack their foes that are weakest. The Storm Crusaders maintain strict stewardship over the sector, maintaining companies on every fringe world of the Dracorinian systems.
The Storm Crusaders have recently been involved in the Grimnar Campagin, Iron stone, The Defense of the Eagle’s Gate, the Siege of Toris, Black hand revolt, and the Construction of the Brotherhood Starport.
Unlike many other chapters the Storm Crusaders do not see eye to eye with other Astrates. Often regarded as being stubborn, ignorant and fools of the wars the rest of the imperium. Other Astrates most notably those descended from the Ultramarines regard them as oath breakers and corrupt.
On a separate occasion the Crusaders are known for their absolutely brutal outlook as sometimes they have been known to fight even other astrates. On one occasion the Wanderers and the Storm Crusaders opened fired upon each other causing the Wanderers to lose a significant amount of their number.
Ever since 4 other chapters joined the Crusaders an eternal war against the xenos empires that lie beyond its fringe worlds they have forged alliance. Known by lesser men as the Saviors of the Ghoul Stars or among imperials, the Brotherhood of the Ghoul Stars. The Brotherhood of the Ghoul Stars includes the Wanderers, The Dusk Guard, The Sword Templars, The Phoenix Knights, The Dawn Paladins, The Guardians and the Black Juggernauts. These 8 Chapters hold the line against the griming darkness of the ghoul stars. Fighting against unknown horrors and beasts that would cripple any other normal chapter. Each Chapter is entitled to its own homeworld and must protect it and also have access to the Admech Forgeworld in limited supply. The Brotherhood’s Headquarters is on the planet of Jophiel. A world of splendid beauty, and the place of great honor to step on. The Chapter Masters, Grand Templars, Archangels, whoever be there leader or representive holds significant power and convene to talk of affairs of the fringes arguing or agreeing to see which company would be sent out, an Inqusitior Lord is sometimes present to add any input or disagree with the other Astrates decisions, but he has no power over them only over the Storm Crusaders and The Guardians.

best fluff uv written so far in my opinion

I'm going to reiterate this, because I still don't see any indication that you have analysed your fiction from this perspective; it's still crammed with superfluous detail.

English Assassin wrote:Well, okay, to start with, I'd suggest refining your ideas (which are presently all over the place) to a single theme, supported by a list of a few defining characteristics. Pretty much every one of these should be directly relevant to that theme, not just tacked-on because it sounds cool.

Pick a single, specific cultural basis (this will help with consistent names too), a broad specialism of some kind, one or two particular advantages and a few flaws or quirks. Think about their recruitment world, their progenitors, and their relationships with other Imperial institutions.

While you're doing that, keep in mind the setting's background and its tone and atmosphere, and write some brief descriptions (not a rambling narrative filled with random names) of some memorable battle or campaigns which demonstrate the theme and characteristics you've chosen.

Now, they are your chapter, and you can write what you want, but if you want others to take what you have written seriously, you really need to start exercising more creative discipline.

English Assassin wrote:I'm going to reiterate this, because I still don't see any indication that you have analysed your fiction from this perspective; it's still crammed with superfluous detail.

English Assassin wrote:Well, okay, to start with, I'd suggest refining your ideas (which are presently all over the place) to a single theme, supported by a list of a few defining characteristics. Pretty much every one of these should be directly relevant to that theme, not just tacked-on because it sounds cool.

Pick a single, specific cultural basis (this will help with consistent names too), a broad specialism of some kind, one or two particular advantages and a few flaws or quirks. Think about their recruitment world, their progenitors, and their relationships with other Imperial institutions.

While you're doing that, keep in mind the setting's background and its tone and atmosphere, and write some brief descriptions (not a rambling narrative filled with random names) of some memorable battle or campaigns which demonstrate the theme and characteristics you've chosen.

Now, they are your chapter, and you can write what you want, but if you want others to take what you have written seriously, you really need to start exercising more creative discipline.

? Wait what? I rewrote it, I stayed away from superfilious things, they still have 3,500 Crusaders. Have you read theupdate thing? I am not going to go back and reedit my posts. I am retconning them out of existance most of them. I have not gotten to the theme yet. I haven't even started to talk about the theme yet.
I've only just gotten past the overview.

Asherian Command wrote:I have not gotten to the theme yet. I haven't even started to talk about the theme yet. I've only just gotten past the overview.

I'm afraid that rather encapsulates the problem: theme comes first, details follow to provide exposition.

English Assassin wrote:Now, they are your chapter, and you can write what you want, but if you want others to take what you have written seriously, you really need to start exercising more creative discipline.

Yeah Asherian, remember that your fluff must be at the same lofty standards set by GW's official codex writers.

Ulthanashville wrote:

English Assassin wrote:Now, they are your chapter, and you can write what you want, but if you want others to take what you have written seriously, you really need to start exercising more creative discipline.

Yeah Asherian, remember that your fluff must be at the same lofty standards set by GW's official codex writers.

So over the top, Probably bad and controversial?

But the thing is it is disclipined I have followed the complaints and I have gotten rid of alot of stuff. Now English Assassin, I am not some new guy that has just gotten into the hobby please understand that.
The new stuff I have written and researched upon and It seems fitting, if you yourself do not like it because of the OTT then you should read the Grey Knight codex. This warhammer 40k anything and everything is over the top.

Well my suggestions on fleshing it out further are:

-Time to start thinking about the heroes of your chapter - names, backgrounds, personalities, triumphs and mistakes/flaws - those are the guys who will really bring some life and identity to the force as a whole.

-Needs a few loose connections to existing 40k canon for added plausability. Just general stuff like who their parent chapter is/could be, where they were during major events (the badab war, age of apostasy, hive fleet invasions etc.) and the most important one, how have they reacted to the necrons reemerging? What are their plans for dealing with the huge numbers of crazed and depraved robots who've recently woken up? Have they encountered the reclusive overlord of this empire yet?

Asherian Command wrote:

Ulthanashville wrote:

English Assassin wrote:Now, they are your chapter, and you can write what you want, but if you want others to take what you have written seriously, you really need to start exercising more creative discipline.

Yeah Asherian, remember that your fluff must be at the same lofty standards set by GW's official codex writers.

So over the top, Probably bad and controversial?

Compared with this, Mat Ward's prose is positively Wildean. Conspicuously, he can also spell and punctuate coherently.

Asherian Command wrote:But the thing is it is disclipined I have followed the complaints and I have gotten rid of alot of stuff. Now English Assassin, I am not some new guy that has just gotten into the hobby please understand that.
The new stuff I have written and researched upon and It seems fitting, if you yourself do not like it because of the OTT then you should read the Grey Knight codex. This warhammer 40k anything and everything is over the top.

You posted this for the sake of receiving feedback, don't throw a strop when that feedback isn't what you wanted to hear.

English Assassin wrote:

Asherian Command wrote:

Ulthanashville wrote:

English Assassin wrote:Now, they are your chapter, and you can write what you want, but if you want others to take what you have written seriously, you really need to start exercising more creative discipline.

Yeah Asherian, remember that your fluff must be at the same lofty standards set by GW's official codex writers.

So over the top, Probably bad and controversial?

Compared with this, Mat Ward's prose is positively Wildean. Conspicuously, he can also spell and punctuate coherently.

Asherian Command wrote:But the thing is it is disclipined I have followed the complaints and I have gotten rid of alot of stuff. Now English Assassin, I am not some new guy that has just gotten into the hobby please understand that.
The new stuff I have written and researched upon and It seems fitting, if you yourself do not like it because of the OTT then you should read the Grey Knight codex. This warhammer 40k anything and everything is over the top.

You posted this for the sake of receiving feedback, don't throw a strop when that feedback isn't what you wanted to hear.

No its just when I am getting to the lore and i am starting to write stuff out and redo certain things It is really hard to keep up with people's requests.
I am getting the theme. I am thinking more of a Chaotic Good Force and with a theme of Crusaders that stopped playing nice. (Knights Templar English)
Hard part is getting the theme down which i am trying too look over.

Characters are going to be
Loken Galatian
Calick Alrnia
Calnor Alrnia
Malnar Vajkis
Altorick Gestro
Asherain Telkiev
Malick Telkiev
Garane the Venerable
Nightbringer
Navious of the 1st.
Talick the Grand Guardian.


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The Ghoul stars are a vital importance to the Imperium of Man. The Highlords of Terra have assigned 16 chapters to the region but over time the chapters have either been annihilated, lost contact with or gone renegade. The remaining Astrates Chapters formed a close knit Brotherhood. The call it the Brotherhood of the Ghoul Stars.

Formed during 34th Millennium the Storm Crusaders and 2 other chapters (who's records have been scratched out.) fought against an Alien Race that if it escaped and got past them no other astrates chapter would be prepared to face it. The Brotherhood has remained for six thousand years. New chapters have joined, and old chapters have withered. The Brotherhood holds the World of Mal as a burial place of champions for all the Astrates who have died in service to the brotherhood. It is considered an honor beyond measure to be buried or set foot on the planet of Mal. (Especially Among Astrates)

Ever since 4 other chapters joined the Crusaders an eternal war against the xenos empires that lie beyond its fringe worlds they have forged alliance. Known by lesser men as the Saviors of the Ghoul Stars or among imperials, the Brotherhood of the Ghoul Stars. The Brotherhood of the Ghoul Stars includes the Wanderers, The Dusk Guard, The Sword Templars, The Phoenix Knights, The Dawn Paladins, The Guardians and the Black Juggernauts. These 8 Chapters hold the line against the griming darkness of the ghoul stars. Fighting against unknown horrors and beasts that would cripple any other normal chapter. Each Chapter is entitled to its own homeworld and must protect it and also have access to the Admech Forgeworld in limited supply. The Brotherhood’s Headquarters is on the planet of Jophiel. A world of splendid beauty, and the place of great honor to step on. The Chapter Masters, Grand Templars, Archangels, whoever be there leader or Representative holds significant power and convene to talk of affairs of the fringes arguing or agreeing to see which company would be sent out, an Inquisitor Lord is sometimes present to add any input or disagree with the other Astrates decisions, but he has no power over them only over the Storm Crusaders and The Guardians.

Ever since the awakening of the Necrons, the brotherhood has been fighting constantly against the Necron Menace of Drazak. Having invented new ways to defeat them, and even permanently damage them. The Brotherhood has give kraken bolts to some companies to counter the waves upon waves of Flayed ones that have come.

In addition to the Necrons, a new race has shown itself and has been ripping apart the defenses of the northern porition of the Drancorian shipping lanes. To many it seems inevitable that the Brotherhood might have to even attack the heart of the Xenos Empires. All of which is suicidal.

Other Details
No of Astrates


Unknown... Pending review

Representives:


Calnor Alrnia (Storm Crusaders) Tyrael (Wanderers) Swordmaster Marania (Sword Templars) Master Obediah (Dusk Guard) Grand Paladin Luther (Dawn Paladins) Chapter Master Varinus (Black Juggernauts), Phoenix King Ashikaga Takauji (Phoenix Knights), and Grand Master Heinrich (The Guardians)

Base of Operations

Jophiel (Read what it means )

Affiliation

Imperium of Man, Loyalist, Adeptus Astartes


Importance to Imperium:

Significant Primus Hecto


Current Activities:

Druska Campagin, Dread Campagin, Iron Stone, Defense of the Aux

Other Representives (Non-Astrates)

Admiral Duke Hekel (Imperial/Drancornian Navy), Inquisitor Lord Gordon Hales(Ordo Xenos), Inquisitor Paris (Ordo Hereticus)Inquisitor Delkin (Ordo Malleus), High Marshall Yuken (Drancorian Army)

Amount (Non-Astarte)

124 Regiments, 14 Fleets, ???? Ordo Members, 150 Million Crewmen, 12 Star Ports, 1 Star Fortress, 2 Flagships,

Lore! Here we go! I have also some pictures to go along with this stuff!
Garane the Venerable
Garane was once Captain of the Twenty First Company of the Crusaders. Known and feared by the enemies of the Imperium as Garane the Venerator. After fighting a Cyrthor Fiend force he was horribly injured and was entered within a Dreadnought. He now serves the chapter as an Ancient having served the chapter for 900 years, he has seen hundreds of Astartes serve under him. Having been a marksman in the Alpha Squadron he often equips himself with a plasma cannon, saying it gives more of a kick to his enemies. He is known to be a wise official to the chapter, sometimes representing the chapter in his dreadnought armor if Calnor Alrnia is delayed or otherwise. Garane has sometimes been granted back leadership of a company, like in the battle of the Aux where he and the 10th company were seen to fight against the Ork Wagh! Along with a Draska Necrons, Loken was severly wounded by the Ork Warlord before hand and was recovering. Garane took on the task of reforming the company and spearheading an assault into the heart of the Necrons destroying them with an armored assault that smashed through the Necron forces even destroying many tomb spyders, and necron monoliths permanently. Garane then faced later on during the battle the Ork Warlord and smashed the Warlords body into pulp as vengeance for loken. Loken returned at the end of the battle and took control back but thanked Garane for his righteous power and for saving the 10th. Ever since he has been attached to any company that has need of his support.

A Crusader defending a Breach.

Cleansing of the Ghoul Stars
The Storm Crusaders at one time requested aid against the Cyrthor Fiends having been literally just at war with a Supernatural Inhabitants of the Ghoul Stars the chapter needed reinforcements. The Black Templars arrived led by Helbrietch, the Storm Crusaders and the Black Templars welcomed each other as if long lost brothers and fought alongside each other against the Cyrthor fiends. The Storm Crusaders being siege experts took on the tasks of assaulting the forces of Cyrthor Fiends with Land Raider Executioners, and many other variants of vehicles that make use of plasma weaponry. Seeing that it was more effective, than otherwise believed at the time. The Black Templars then took care of the space warfare and hammered the Cyrthor Fiends, seeing to it that the planets would never be used again. They slaughtered the entire empire until reaching the heart of the empire and finding nothing there. The Crusaders confused left a recon force of Dracornian Military. They were never heard from again. The Black Templars parted with words of honor and Calnor Alrnia and Helbrietch became Blood brothers. Both exchanging tales of victories before the two left to heed to their chapters call.
Along with the Black Templars the 29th Company volunteered under the command of Tyrion to fight along with the Black Templars in Armaggedon. Helbrietch accepted, and Tyrion took his company to fight at Armaggedon.


M34 Pale Wasting Incident
Though Severely weakened at the time the Storm Crusaders actually had little involvement with Pale wasting incident, though one of the two chapters also aiding the Crusaders fought in the Incident and never returned. The Storm Crusaders during the other chapters absence found themselves besieged by something called the nightmare engine. Surviving from the horrifying attacks, the Storm Crusaders destroyed an entire population, unbeknown to them was that similar situations were occurring all over the sectors. The Storm Crusaders many years later found anomalies appear on their transit grid. Believing it to be a new foe the Crusaders Immediately responded sending out a sizeable fleet. The fleet returned with an empty armada of the missing chapter. Even the ancient weapons of the chapter were found, no other evidence apart from empty armories filled with Power Armor and weaponry was found. The Storm Crusaders have since decommissioned them and have either given them to other astrates chapters in the brotherhood or to the Admech for repurpose use.

M38 Marines Errant crusade
Among many of the Crusades within the Ghoul Stars that un-doubly failed to reach its ghoul. The Marines Errant a chapter despised by the Storm Crusaders for unknown reasons. The Storm Crusaders refused to fight side by side with them but helped the Rouge Trader explore the area safely. Fighting against entirely different enemies at the time the Crusaders split off and fought an Xenos Empire that is now completely extinct after the Storm Crusaders along with Aide form the Phoenix Knights, Dusk Guard and the Sword Templars plunged into the territory and destroyed the menace once and for all. The campaign took at least forty years. Not much is actually recorded on the events that transpired.


M40 Awakening of the Necrons
Of all the horrors within the Ghoul Stars nothing more horrifying is that of the Draska Necrons. Having fought on several battlefields before Captain Loken of the 10th company was approached and warned by a figure of unknown origin. Within a week the System of Draska saw the eruption of the Necrons. The Storm Crusaders immediately retreated leaving an entire system of civilians and an entire Astrates Chapter to their fate. Deeming it a necessary sacrifice, the Storm crusaders 10th company gathered itself with the 22nd and defended against the Necron threat fighting against them day by day until they finally retreated mysteriously. The Crusaders ever since have deployed plasma weaponry that unlike other chapters have gained a reputation of using plasma weaponry without the costly effective of it exploding. The Storm Crusaders have held the borders against the Necron Menace but it seems inevitable that one day the Necrons might attack the other outlying planets of xenos empires. As they are probably easier to kill than systems controlled by the Storm Crusaders.

M41 Jormungandr
The Storm Crusaders were yet again beset by another Alien Menace the Tyranids. Having had faced them before in the galatic southeast after being called by the Ultramarines to aide them against the Tyranids. The Storm Crusaders realized that unlike other hive fleets it retreated and sent asteroids to planets which ultimately failed. Though little did they know of the uprising in Navinian. The Storm Crusaders sent the 3rd, 2nd, elements of the 1st and the 26th companies along with a small force of their fleet to Aid the Imperial Forces (under the leadership of Admiral Vortigern Hanroth ) in an defense against the Tyranids. The Storm Crusaders 19th Company was then sent out to see what was happening among the Crimson Castellans a chapter apart of the Brotherhood. All they found was a destroyed planet and a single servitor with memories of the entire event which was then given to the Admech. At battle of the Black Nebula the Storm Crusaders along with the Death Spectres, while the Storm Crusaders fleet distract the Tyranid Hive fleet the Death Spectres sent kill teams into the Hive Fleet ships along with Alpha Squadron Members who tagged along to aid the Death Spectres. The Storm Crusaders lead by Captain Calick Alrnia, a relative to Calnor, he was a leader who saw tactics as his sword against the enemy. Having adapted his forces to fight against the tyranids his 2nd company deployed upon the Hive fleet, their Strike Cruiser taking significant damage along with the 2nd company force being almost wiped out, of the 130 Crusaders that volunteered only 45 returned. Calick along with the broken fleet were victorious but at a high cost, having saved a few Astartes of the Death Spectres as well they forged a relationship as they hunted the last of the Tyranid Fleet down. The Death Spectres have yet refused to join the Brotherhood of the Ghoul Stars preferring to work alone.
Two decades later the Storm Crusaders 5th Company responded to investigate, upon discovery of a genestealer cult the 5th company began the purge targeting any and all Humans with mutations. The Entire world was quarantined by the Ordo Xenos and the Alpha Squadron was deployed. The system is still under strict guard. The population still is shaken by the war that had erupted in their streets.

Calnor Alrnia (MARY SUEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!)
A Legend among all of the Storm Crusaders. He has totaled more kills than an entire Company of Astartes. Being descended from a now devastated clan of humans. He is a natural leader, leading from the front. He has put entire systems of xenos to the flame and Chaos Renegades on the run. He is a Grand Templar and the most terrifying of the three Grand Templars. He is blessed with Mechanical wings which allow him to fly into combat. His sword burns with eternal power which was reforged from a Draconian Obsidan Beast. A Creature with skin harder than a Tank. Which was slew by a young Captain after the founding of the chapter. Calnor himself is a sword master but is considered more of a marksmen than anything, being equiped with a Stalker Pattern Bolter equiped with special ammunition he rarely uses his sword. Taking the Siege Combat as his expertise, he often leads 30 Paladins into action against the enemy. He leads the 1st-10th companies with distinction and has the 1/3 of the Paladin's under his command, along with his squad of First Templars.

A Legend Among the Storm Crusaders Calnor Alrnia is the Grand Templar of the Storm Crusaders. His services in the Imperium date back over 8 centuries. His first years of a Space Marine Showed a promising young Neophyte with the honor of a Warrior, he's ambitions to be the best. As a Grand Templar Calnor Alrnia is the embodiment of the Chapter. Calnor is proud, taciturn, intelligent, a natural leader. He is fearless as a warrior and his swordsmanship is only matched by the Black Templar's High Marshal. Calnor is also bearer of two relics of the chapter. The Talnris, a sword of an ever burning spirit and the Angel Armor, the self repairing armor and the spirit of the chapter. Truly Calnor is a legend, as he has taken slew of enemies. Killing of a Daemon Prince in the Griminar System, Assassination of a Chaos Lord, Killing of a Dark Eldar Lord, and even banishing over 200 demons in his time in the Storm Crusaders, this is but a small fraction of acts he has done. As the missions of his time in the Alpha Squadron are still shrouded in Mystery. But Calnor Alrnia Bears a secret that all of the Members of the Chapter Council hold as a burden. To speak of it would mean death. And those outside of the Council would meet their death because of this secret.
Calnor is considered by many to have a calm personality and calm look at war. While he fights in combat he does not cry out for blood or have a warcry. Instead he fights with abosulte peace and clarity. He is often seen by many of his chapter as a Legendary Figure. He is often noble, honest and a pure being. But the weight of holding the secrets of the chapter has clouded parts of his noble self.

He holds a deep hatred for the Xenos and for Daemons in Praticular after watching his entire clan slaughtered by daemons and have his left arm ripped off by a Daemon Prince as a prize. Since then he has honed his skills with the sword and the Halbried.

Being a former Alpha Squadron member he has a keen eye for killing from a distance. Even sometimes taking to the field with a highly experimental bolter sniper rifle. Dubbed the Rail Bolt. If he knows he could take out the enemy.

As a Grand Templar of the Storm Crusaders there are very few that have ever seen his actual war record. He is record to be around 1,000 years old and to have killed 2,951 vital targets. All of which were enemies of the chapter. Though it is unknown if he will ever reveal exactly how many targets he killed during his time as an Alpha Squadron member.

Since his time as a Grand Templar he has successful slew the following.

Chaos Lord Braxis the Doombringer (Regenade Space Marine)

Calis the Arch Traitor of the Storm Knights

Lord Taldor the Ripper (Dark Eldar)

The Matariach of the Ghouls (Daemon Prince)

A Prime Hive Tyrant. (During the Sixth War?)

The Unknown Creature (unknown xenos creature)

The Shapeshifter (Xenos Creature)

Lord of Lies (Daemon Prince)

The Deciever of Asherian (Assassin lord)

Inqusitior Jerchio (Corrupted)

Valin of the Seventh Sword (Unknown Race, posssed Extremely powerful pyschic abilities)

The Shard of the Reaper (Necron Relic)

The Fallen One (Space Marine from a unknown chapter, wore Black Armor which bore the dark angels symbol unknown if stolen from a now dead space marine.)

Prince of Sin (Daemon Prince)

Autarch of the Kalvin Moons (Eldar Hero who face Calnor In single combat, Calnor never slew him but defeated his forces and took the Autarch's Helmet as a war victory.)

Farseer of the Depths (Eldar Farseer that tried to manipulate a company of the Storm Crusaders. Calnor Intervened and killed the farseer taking her forceweapon and retreiving her soul stone and giving it to the ordo xenos.)

The Arch Angel of the Wanderers (Challenged into single combat against the Wanderer's Arch Angel of Light, Calnor Slew him in response the wanderers attacked calnor and his company. They successfully fought them off until the timely arrival of the Guardians who slaughtered half the chapter.)

Calnor Alrnia Grand Templar of the Storm Crusaders


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My storm Crusaders and the Space Marine Chapters do not stand alone along with them are the Hundreds of millions of Dracornian Military personnel!
I plan on using these guys.
http://www.manticgames.com/Shop-Home/Advance-Orders/Advance-Order-Corporation/Product/Corporation-Captains-Deal-67-Figures.html
Only problem is I need some necrons. :(

Wondering if anybody's mentioned yet that all 2nd Founding Chapters (except for a few Ultramarine offshoots) are accounted for? I don't think 2nd Founding is feasible, 3rd and 4th founding were only about 200 years apiece after, so...

Just out of curiosity... what Exams were you taking?

GoldenKaos wrote:Wondering if anybody's mentioned yet that all 2nd Founding Chapters (except for a few Ultramarine offshoots) are accounted for? I don't think 2nd Founding is feasible, 3rd and 4th founding were only about 200 years apiece after, so...

Apparently you haven't read the current updated version which where the chapter was a 3rd. Not a 2nd.

Just out of curiosity... what Exams were you taking?

American Lit
Us History Honors
Algebra 2
Concert Choir Honors
American Naval Tactics Advanced (yes it is a real class XD)
German
Chemistry Honors
Computer programming

Yeah my day is quite busy. Scored an 88% on all of them.

Asherian Command wrote:

GoldenKaos wrote:Wondering if anybody's mentioned yet that all 2nd Founding Chapters (except for a few Ultramarine offshoots) are accounted for? I don't think 2nd Founding is feasible, 3rd and 4th founding were only about 200 years apiece after, so...

Apparently you haven't read the current updated version which where the chapter was a 3rd. Not a 2nd.

Hence the phrase 'wondering if anybody's mentioned...' - implying that I was not aware and simply asking on the off-chance the issue had not been addressed. It might be an idea to update the first post to reflect the current status of the fluff of course, just so that a summary is easy to locate.

GoldenKaos wrote:

Asherian Command wrote:

GoldenKaos wrote:Wondering if anybody's mentioned yet that all 2nd Founding Chapters (except for a few Ultramarine offshoots) are accounted for? I don't think 2nd Founding is feasible, 3rd and 4th founding were only about 200 years apiece after, so...

Apparently you haven't read the current updated version which where the chapter was a 3rd. Not a 2nd.

Hence the phrase 'wondering if anybody's mentioned...' - implying that I was not aware and simply asking on the off-chance the issue had not been addressed. It might be an idea to update the first post to reflect the current status of the fluff of course, just so that a summary is easy to locate.

Yeah planning on doing that once the big portion of the lore is done. Like the history.

A while back I saw you made rules for one of your chapters special characters, what was that for? they weren't tournament legal right?

do you hear the voices to wrote:A while back I saw you made rules for one of your chapters special characters, what was that for? they weren't tournament legal right?

They are tournament legal after I edited them which deboosted his abilities. And made him kinda not worth taking.
IT was for Calnor. I plan on changing it so that you would rather want to keep at range combat.


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Plus why no one comment on my Incidents or battles in the ghoul stars I spent alot of time writing those :(

Like 3 days of research and writing, and editing.

Next week I am planning adding the Culture and Traditions and an Update to the Storm Crusaders Libarius.

This is seriously intriguing, where are the standards for character creation? Was there a template that you are supposed to use?

And to stay on topic, you're chapter is really coming together. The amount of effort you put in is very admirable!

do you hear the voices to wrote:This is seriously intriguing, where are the standards for character creation? Was there a template that you are supposed to use?

And to stay on topic, you're chapter is really coming together. The amount of effort you put in is very admirable!

Thank you Believe it or not I was sick for three weeks at school one time and had nothing to do so I did this!
But not there is no template except on Marik Law's Chapter Creator which has a standard template for making your heroes. Which is unoffical. It is not tournament legal anymore (Just checked)

BTW I am planning on changing the name of the Alpha Squadron to Delta Squadron. As it seems It sounds like Alpha Legion.

Also here is a few Deviations
The Storm Crusaders train extensively with plasma weaponry and have been noted in knowing and sensing when a plasma weapon is about to overheat. The chapter regularly also trains their Templars who have not joined close combat units in heavy weapons. Those Devastators that showed skill beyond measure have been given honors in the Veteran Companies as Veteran Devastators. The entire squad is also known to sometimes have sternguard units attached to these units to provide support to these veterans. The Crusaders are known to be completely stubborn in sieges and also for taking enemy fortresses with little resistance from the Crusaders. Usually they pummeling of tanks and a large number of Devastators has made the chapter stronger and more cautious in sieges and defenses. Ever since the Crusaders have accepted the Codex Ignatus as their tactical infuser and their organization. The Crusaders then also arrange themselves into counter striking units if the time occurs, being tactically flexible during sieges and also defenses.
The Griminar Campagin Outcome (Final Hours)
Grimnar is a Hive System which is known to hold a large amount of production areas and a supporter of many Imperial Guard Regiments, originally planned to quell a small Chaos Force. The Repentors Chapter a chapter who have strong ties to the inquisition sent for aid as they were attacked by a new foe. The Tyranids. The Storm Crusaders, The Wanderer's Destroyer Cell, the Cadian 159th, the Blood Legion, a Dark Angel Strike Force, a Imperial Fist Strike force and a Scout Titan Legion responded.
The Coming Months of battle made even the Storm Crusaders bring in 3 entire companies, in addition to Captain Loken's 10th company. Including the 1st company. This hive fleet had similar tactics to the hive fleet that attacked Maccrage home of the Ultramarines. But instead it possessed creatures never before seen. These titanic Beasts were reminiscent of the Creatures the Crusaders had fought 3,000 years ago and had thought completely destroyed. The Storm Crusaders were not given overall command of the Campaign Sadly. Instead the Repentors took control of the Campagin. Which Angered the Grand Templar of the Storm Crusaders. Calnor Alrnia seeing that the young captain was going to let the entire imperial forces die.
Calnor was ordered to hold the Starports along with the Imperial Fist's Strike Force lead by a Newer Captain of the Imperial Fists Strike Force. The Crusaders and the Imperial Fists both of which were defense experts made the star port an extreme strong point. Though sadly the Captain of the Repentors had misplaced his main siege and defense experts in with the crusaders and the Imperial Fists. Which made the Starport a fixture of defense making it less likely to be targeted. Unlike the primary defense was located in the Center of the Hive City. Which was also guarded by the 1st company who had be assigned there against the wishes of the Captain of the Repentors.
The 1st company Captain Navious the champion of the Storm Crusaders took his company and spread it among the buildings of the government district of the hive city. Protecting the leaders of the Hive city and it's adeptus Artibtes forces who were gathering their forces to defeat an incursion.
The Repentors fought bravely at the entrances of the Grimnar Hive City but were completely overwhelmed the Captain of the Repentors retreated to the Government sector along with the remants of his company abandoning the fortress gates. Upon discovery of other imperial forces. Thinking the Dark Angels had managed to retreat found the Storm Crusaders first company veteran Devastator squads preparing Conversion Beamer emplacements and thunder-fire cannons to defend against the tyranid swarms. As hours before a tech-marine squad had deployed to support the 1st company. A gift from the Wanderers Chapter. The Destroyer cell deployed itself. The Captain sense betrayal as the Crusaders manned their stations against the tyranid's. As the captain saw the Symbol of the Crusaders. The Repentor Captain wished to speak to the Captain of the 1st company arguing that they had disobeyed orders. Navious was forced to quell the Captain by making the Captain go unconscious with a blow to the head. The Repentor's Company seeing outrage raised their weapons to kill Captain Navious and his command squad before being told to turn the weapons upon the tyranid swarm by an Inquisitor of the Ordo Xenos.
The Ordo Xenos Inquisitor gave overall command of the campaign to himself as he led the defense of the hive city government center. Though sadly his efforts where in vain where the captain of the repentors mistake of retreating made them the center of the campaign.
With the Griminar campaign heading towards a grim end, the Storm Crusaders were noted as being one of the few last surviving Imperial Forces that survived the entire assault by a tyranid Hive Fleet having fought for days against the Tyranids taking ammo of fallen brethren of other chapters and using it against the Tyranids also comandeering a land raider of the Repentors chapter after its crew was slaughtered whilst on patrol. The Storm Crusaders defended a starport filled with hundreds of civilians and PDF forces who had made their way there during the grimnar campagin. Calnor Alrnia along with the Imperial Fist Captain used their forces to detain the Tyranid Swarm long enough until the Storm Crusader Redeemption Crusade arrived along with the Repentors and the Black Juggernauts fleets.
While the Crusaders main battle companies fought against the Tyranids at the Starport. The 1st Captain Navious was desperately fighting with his first company against the tyranid swarm. Just hours before the Dark angels strike force had been taken from its full compliment of 70 Astartes to 12. Including the death of their captain. The Wanderer's Destroyer Cell had lost two entrenchment lines. and were falling back to the captial. But News worsened as Reports of the Captain of the Repentors was killed by friendly fire whilst in a firefight with a commissar and his imperial guard platoon. The Repentors had retreated towards the fallback point while the Storm Crusaders first company were completely surrounded along with the Cadian regiment and Scout Titan Legion. The First Company seeing that if they held they would somehow survive took their terminator squad and deployed it among the Titans offering support for the titan's against the tyranid Carnifexs. With each passing moment Navious was delaying the Tyranid swarms. He himself having killed a Tyranid Tyrant Lord. Knowing the Weakness of the Tyranids his Devastator's Were specifically Targeting Synpase Creatures. To effectively eliminate the Tyranid structure. All seemed to work till the Biotitans attacked. Destroying the last Warhound, which caused the Captain Navious to order a tacitical withdrawal to the Administratum Building. The Ordo Xenos Inqusitior Himself having suffered many wounds was recovering in the Admisitraum building. Captain Navious along with the Wanderer's Angel Priest took the remaining forces and blockaded the entrances. And used the lascannons and remaining conversion beamers to destroy the Heriophants. They were successful felling many and killing hundreds of synapse creatures. This helped to stall the Tyranid forces until reinforcements arrived.
With at least 3 companies at his command Calnor Alrnia had arranged his defenses to repel any tyranid swarms back. Using the Repentor's Land Raider Terminus Ultra Destiny against the Tyranid Heriophant they were able to successfully fell the beasts and save the starport inhabitants, though the 4 companies of the Crusaders along with the First company who had also been sent took heavy causalities as a result. (Which was then quickly replenished. Surprisingly quicker than thought) Though the Storm Crusaders still hold a loose relationship with the Repentors after their Captain mysteriously was shot by a bolter shell. Persumed friendly fired in the firefights. The Remaining Repentors a veteran squad of terminators where all that remained of the inital force that had deployed. The Imperial Forces were victorious but at a heavy cost. The Storm Crusaders and the Black Juggernauts where then called off from the system when a Xenos Empire began to attack the Worlds of Terios and Delina (Fringe World Fortresses)
The 1st company of the Storm Crusaders stayed behind to ensure they found all of their brothers that had been slain in the Campaign. Those who had been left to fight in the Hive City of Griminar.

Okay folks its been 2 days.. But I have finally rewritten the entire Guardians! THEY ARE NOW! Basically the Grey Knights. Different Colors, Different Name, But like the old 3rd Ed Grey Knights, With an alternative Color Scheme.
They Are not HERETICS! Nor do they have A Mary Sue Leader. I have added a few good Characters, that lack the mary sueness of their brother chapter of the Grey Knights. THEY WILL HAVE CHARACTER FLAWS! And Also they aren't perfect they do get seen, and they don't notice it. But the people that see it write it down and say something different. (which will be explained)
This lore is Highly Experimental but it is Better than the pervious lore of the Storm Crusader's Grey Knights (Basically) Company of Pyskers that were super uber l33t and they all had gold armor and looked exactly like the Custodes (But I will still use the models from Scribor but paint them like the same ones. There will not be Grand Guardians though acting like Vulkan Hes'tan.)
Now onto business affairs.....

RETCONNED OUT OF EXISTANCE!


So far collected (Pathetic amount of 40 Guardians)