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Just what the title said. What is the quickest or best way to take down a space marine. And please tell in short story or describe how it happens.

deathstrike missile

blow him up!

Plasma gun.

It was winter in the northern hemisphere of Valhalla. Being an ice planet, you really couldn't tell. The Traitor Legions were at it again - their tomfoolery creating a right mess of things in the homestead.

Naturally, I was chosen to lead the countercharge. Plasma pistol in hand, I led my squad as we surged up the hill towards the Traitor Marines holding down the bunker with bolter fire. One of the great ugly bastards emerged from the bunker, bolter aimed my way. I did what only came natural to me - aimed and fired.

The plasma bolt burned a great, reeking hole in the Marine's torso. He fell to the ground, slain.

"That was really easy," I said.

That's when ten more came out of the bunker. I promptly soiled myself and ran. I was the only one to make it out of there alive.

Don't tell the Commissar.

Saint hazard.... amazing and sooo funny.

Brother Menthys, a newly equipped Space Marine, dedicated to the Emperors will, shivered with excitement. He had disabled one of the most heretical of all Renegade Marines, the Emperors Children. To think of how they tainted that once proud name brought more anger to him than a man could bear. But he was no man, he was Space Marine. He drew his Chainsword, determined to take a trophy of his first worthy kill, when he noticed a holopict the Heretic held towards him. He knew not to look at any such devices they held, for held nothing but heresy, tainting the proud machine. His curiosity bested him, young as he was. At first he could not fathom what the pict was of, so insane was it's contents. As his mind began to grasp it, he shook in first anger, then terror, then finally soul-crushing despair. It was impossible! What it showed could never have happened. As his mind turned finally to madness, his skull imploded, ending him instantly. The Renegade looked back at his fapping material, shrugged, and went back to business.

Yep. ^ Beats mine.

SaintHazard wrote:Yep. ^ Beats mine.

My initial idea was twice as long and more...graphic, but that would be sick and wrong.

And unpostable on Dakka, and in three countries that I know of.

Haddi if you want you can PM me the longer version and keep going. heres one.

It was night when the necrons came. The omnious gren glow on the horizon making them a deaad give away. I was the first to kill one. After an hour of fight they were dead. Heavy casualties on each side. The surrounding each necron was a green circle. Before i had time to yell they were rising back. The a monolith from behind lit up and startled me. I ran towards it power sword in hand and bolt pistol at my side. The darkness.
I woke up with a huge pain rushing throguh me. I looked up and their was a night lord trying to raise my weapons in defence i realised i had no arms. I tried to run but i had no legs. If i was a mortal man id be dead but i'm an astartes. I relayed my position to rienforcements to orbital stike, then looked up. the night bringer had heard me. It raised its sycthe and broguth it down to take my head of. their was a breif moment of extreme pain then....nothin. I was dead. Honourably gone with the rest of the mean that diead that day. i hope its good

SaintHazard has to be one of the funniest people on dakka. XD

Ap3 Thousand son Bolter to the Family Jewels

The surrounding area glew as a Trukk detonated in the darkness. The ramshackle camp illuminated, the sound followed by terrified Gretchin swarm scurrying like roaches. For a brief moment some of the Boyz could have sworn they saw some beakies lurking around. Da Boss leered at them and wacked one over the head.

"Deres no beakies ya Git dey dun fight liek Gretchins" said Da Boss. The sentries quickly returned to their position, perhaps it was just the Mek.

When Da Boos had left they began talking. "I think its da beakies" said the first sentry. "Shut up ya git. Ef Da Boss says is not Beakies dey.." his sentence cut off from another explosion. They turned to run only to see Da Boss coming their direction, not too pleased at their poor preformance as sentries.

"Wot da hell is goin on!?" he demanded. "I dun knoe. Wot does yu think Hedkik?" said the first sentry, yet he was the only sentry there now. Unseen in the shadows, Shrike had been leading a hidden attack on the camp for the last week, tonight would be the end of it, they were needed elsewhere.

"Enough" said Shrike, he lept into the air followed by the few that had come along with him. As they flew over them he fired his Bolt Pistol down, hitting the sentry in the head. The other members landed to confront the boss while he continued on to the Mek's hut.

Da Boss simply smashed two of the four down with his Powe Klaw, laughing at how pathetic they seemed. The two marines struck back with their Bolt Pistols and Chainsaws. Da Boss' decapitated head still had a smile on it as it flew away from his body and bounced into the shadows.

"Time to leave" said Shrike. They wondered how long he had been there, but quickly followed. Once they were a fair distance away from the camp Shrike detonated the charge he had left at the Mek's hut. The explosion took out most of the camp as the ammo and fuel supplies were caught by it. Shrike and the two remaining marines headed back to the rendazvous point. This fight would now be easier for the Guard to handle.




More marine friendly then what I usually do

Dark Eldar Ravager. That thing is the bane of marines and equivalent.

bane wolf nuff said

Vindicator shell to the face. Job done

Brother Angrious bellowed his rage to the heavens, as he brought his fury to bear on the green hoard before him. Slinging his chainsword In a mighty ark, that cleaved the head clean off one unlucky Ork's shoulders, and sent it sailing over the crowded battlefield... A rather disappointed expression on its face.

Hacking and slashing in all directions. He cut a swath deep into the Ork line like a terrible force of nature. Fountains of green blood erupted all around him, as Ork bodies were strewn apart by his furious charge.

He began to wade faster and deeper into the Orks until he was almost at a run. Smashing teeth from skulls with his angry elbows. Grabbing one Ork by the throat with his armoured glove, and dragging the poor beast along with him, as he made his way up onto a raised mound, that stood in the middle of the hoard like a lonely island in a vast green ocean.

There; knee deep in Orks, he stopped, and with all his might he hurled his captive many meters over the crowd, the body hanging in the air momentarily, till it came crashing down on the heads of the Orks, knocking them to floor like bowling pins.

At that moment the battle seemed to quiet around him. The Orks seemed to stop their fighting, and a hundred green faces turned towards him, a hundred pairs of beady red eyes staring up at him... first in awe, then in terror!

Angrious raised his chainsword high above his head again and howled his war cry, his voice echoing across the battlefield. The Orks began to flee, dropping their weapons, pushing and climbing over one another to get away.

For that brief moment Angrious felt like a god, he began to imagine how the sagas would sing his praise for a thousand years... Then suddenly a vast shadow sent the sky dark all around him. He looked up over his shoulder and suddenly realised what everyone was running from... a mighty cathedral sized foot hurtling towards him... "Oh snap!"

Meanwhile high above; Adeptus Mechanicus intern, Brother Doophus, finally managed to get his hood untangled from the Titan controls.

Meltagun to the chest.

See Ciaphas Cain: The Traitor's Hand.

You cannot kill that which is death mortals.

In all honesty a Battlecannon will do that.

I'm very disappointed in this thread's post count to short story ratio.

Though some of the actual short stories are quite good.

Almosr any large blast template weapon will double down with no armor save a whole squad or meqs. I've actually had lots of luck with flame storming 90% or more of a squad to death. Gotta love templates

Slick wrote:Almosr any large blast template weapon will double down with no armor save a whole squad or meqs. I've actually had lots of luck with flame storming 90% or more of a squad to death. Gotta love templates

Did you even read the OP?

"Zog it Squeeg, is ya done wif' da eye job!"
"Hold yer Zoggin' squigs ya half-grown grot lover! I'm almost finished wif it. Now hold still, I gots ta weld em' in."

Gritz Skulltoof was a Nob well on his way to becoming the Warboss of the small, but feisty Ork Warband that had been plaguing the small Imperial settlement on their small, jungle-covered planet. Everyone knew Gritz was dead ard', and the only reason the Warboss was still boss was due to the cunning Grot that ran the show from behind the lines. Squeeg, the only mekboy who hadn't blown himself up in the last raid, had a brilliant plan to unseat the Warboss. If Gritz was just a bit short of being ard' enough to take down the Boss, he could make im' arder' and he'd be unstoppable! He had pondered in the Orkish way, by smashing bits of exploded machinery together to see what fit, and had figured out the perfect "modification."

"Allright Gritz, stand up, and show da world who's boss!"

The world was pitch-black for the Nob, but he found his way outside. Admittedly, by walking through one of the ramshackle walls, but it's the end result that counts. The ladz had been gathered around to take bets in a Squig fight, and their attention lied with the vicious balls of teeth.

"OI YA GITS, YOU FINK DA' BOSS WAS ARD'!? WELL LOOK AT ME, I IZ TEN TIMES AS ARD'!"

While the lads took a few seconds to figure out how much arder' someone who was ten times as ard' as someone who was dead ard' really is, they looked up from the blunt fingers and toes they had used to count, and couldn't believe their eyes.

Squeeg had replaces Gritz' eyes with Big-Shootas, and their was riggin' with a few Grots around his head managing the whole thing.

One of the Orkz shed a single filthy tear out of appreciation, and the rest of them roared in amusement, and some in fear.

"Well, iz da Boss gonna come out and fight me? Or iz' he cowerin' like a filthy umie."

Grotkicka stomped his way out of his Hut, still only half-awake. He barely had time to open his mouth and start shouting before he was blown to bits, (Along with 3 boys within 20 feet of him, and a few houses unlucky enough to be within the Grots sight, and therefore terrible aim.) .

"What happened, did I win?"

Was the only thing Gritz could think of to say. The grots told him what happened, and he thought hard for a few seconds, before opening his mouth and-


+200 Miles away, The Most Holy Order of the Gilded Blade+

A Commissar had led his regiment of Guardsmen to the Temple in which the local Order of Sisters of Battle made their home, and by extension, Capitol building of the incredibly Pious Imperial City based around it.

"Now, you shall see the faith of the truly devote-"

He was interrupted by a faint noise from beyond the horizon, barely discernible, but still there.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!"

Wow you guys and girls are amazing at this short story thin keep going!