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Nightingale armour: because the dark brotherhood is for sissies.

corpsesarefun wrote:Nightingale armour: because your crafting skills suck.

Fixed it.

Funnily enough I've never touched magic - except candlelight and raise zombie. (handy for hiding victims...)
Ebony armour of eminent health, shrouded hood (better sneak) DB gauntlets (+15x damage for backstab) and boots (muffle) and ebony dagger, greatsword and bow (all exquisite) - looks sweet!

Reached sneak lv 100 yesterday,which may tell you something about me - And I do backstab-1-hit-KOs on giants! No end of laughs

Anyway, to the point, because despite the advice to cut back on the mass murder... put it this way, Riften and Whiterun (and so many small villages and forts...) are somewhat less populated now I adore murder and looting, thats my problem...

Dark Apostle 666 wrote:Reached sneak lv 100 yesterday,which may tell you something about me - And I do backstab-1-hit-KOs on giants! No end of laughs

Try to 1-hit backstab kill a dragon. It's really funny when you do, the dragon takes off as normal, but then immediately crashes to the ground and dies.

Soladrin wrote:

corpsesarefun wrote:Nightingale armour: because stabbing people in the back while dressed as medieval Batman is ferreting awesome.

Fixed it.

Fixed your fixed it...

Grakmar wrote:

Dark Apostle 666 wrote:Reached sneak lv 100 yesterday,which may tell you something about me - And I do backstab-1-hit-KOs on giants! No end of laughs

Try to 1-hit backstab kill a dragon. It's really funny when you do, the dragon takes off as normal, but then immediately crashes to the ground and dies.

It's almost as if they don't realise they're dead until the shock of such a rude awakening wears off.

I still think the first time I insta-killed a dragon with Whatshisfaces Razor was one of the more surprising things I'd done in the game.

I knew it had a chance to insta-kill, I just assumed some things would be immune.... guess not.

So Skyrim arrived yesterday, here is a rundown of how my first hour went:

I spend the first couple of minutes of Skyrim just listening to the music on the opening title screen. It’s very cool. I’m gonna buy the soundtrack. I hit new game, and I wake up on a cart with some low-poly count guy talking at me. A bad voice actor complains that he was just trying to steal a horse, and they talk about a guy with a blind-fold around his mouth being important. He looks like the guy to my left so really the only difference is the blindfold around his mouth which apparently stops him from speaking.

We arrive at this place where there are a bunch of soldiers who have swords and shields that clip through their bodies. Realism!!! The bad voice actor starts praying to lots of gods in a clumsy attempt at intimating to the player that we are in a pantheistic land of fantasy. Apparently the general of this place is dealing with the elves. Sneaky elves. I’m gonna play as one, see if that gets me out of jail. We get told to get off the cart for executions. Go due process! The bad voice actor screams that they’ll never take him alive and runs off. An archer runs through a shooting-an-arrow animation and the bad voice actor instantly ragdollises, slumping to the floor with his legs splayed and without so much as a scream. Cause that’s what happens when you get shot by a longbow – gravity instantly becomes way more intense on the exact spot you’re standing, all the bones in your body vanish, and you just collapse. Good buy bad voice actor. It was nice knowing you... whoever you were. We’ll always have the cart we were on.

My ‘interactive’ cut-scene continues as I look frantically for my legs or any sense that I am a real person and not a hovering camera. No such luck. They call out a bunch of names. The guy to my left on the cart and the guy who looks like him but has a blindfold around his mouth are called out. Then I come forward and they ask me who I am. I make a High Elf chick who looks like a man. You’re not allowed to be good looking in Skyrim. The guard says that I’m not on the list, but the bitch of a captain tells him to kill me any way. feth you, you whore! I hope a dragon attacks you one day.

So they’re about to kill me when Puff the Magic Dragon drops in and starts talking really loudly. For some reason balls of fire start falling from the sky. Is that normal in Skyrim? I run away, hiding in a room with all the people who look alike. I run up some stairs, ignoring the textures popping in ever so slowly, and jump across a roof in a way that only a floating camera could. I end up back with the guard who didn’t want to kill me. Sweet. I follow him. The guy who used to have the blindfold around his mouth (or it could’ve been the other guy – they both had the same clothes and hair) argue and both ask them to come with them. I guess they like elf chicks who look like men.

I go with the guard, as he didn’t want to kill me, and we run around underground for a while. I pick up a bunch of weapons and cups and bowls and plates and other stuff and even find a weapon. I can’t work out how to equip them because I’m never told. Eventually I figure out what the O button does. Jump as triangle sucks. I change the keys so right attack is square and jump is X. Now talk/pick up/interact is R1. It’s confusing. I flail hopelessly at two rebels and miss them while the guard kills them.

We find a torturer and a room with stuff in it. I have to throw away all my bowls and plates and cheese and apples because I’m carrying too much stuff. I break 6 lock picks trying to get into cell that has nothing in it. I won’t be doing that mini-game again if I can help it...

Suddenly we come across some HUGE SPIDERS! AAHHHHHHH! I hate huge spiders. By this stage I’ve got the hand of ‘pressing square until things die’, so I press square a lot and things die. There are some eggs to take, but why would I want a spider egg? Each of the dead spiders was very kindly carrying a bottle of their poison. Maybe they were poison merchants but I misinterpreted them spitting at me as attacks rather than a sales pitch? Who knows. I’m new to Skyrim. Maybe spiders run the merchant guild? I pocketed the poison and keep wondering whose job it is to keep lighting all the torches and fire pits down in these caves.

We come across a big bear, and the guard says I should sneak past it. It sees me anyway. He kills it. I work out that firing arrows at the ground is not an effective way to fight a bear. I pick up my arrows. We find some more rebel guys, but the guard kills them because I’m too busy trying to work out the sensitivity on my aiming control stick.

Eventually we make it outside and he says we should split up for some reason that isn’t explained very well. I say ok and head left while he goes right. I run into some black dude called a ‘Red Guard’ and get into an argument with him. He draws first so I kill him. Self defence! I decide that heading to the left will just see me killing more black guys, so I head towards my objective marker. I see a big ruined cathedrally thing across the river, so I swim across the river and go up there. Three bandits attack me, so I kill them and steel their arrows and clothes. I’ve got like 25 sets of clothes with me now, each worth 30 something gold. Gonna make a mint!

Eventually I make it into town that night. I walk into a house – I believe it was the House of Long Loading Times. Some elf dude talks to me about a chick he’s totally in love with but has clearly been ‘friend zoned’ by, and how he wants to get her to hate the guy she likes. I think that’s what he said. I wasn’t really listening. I was trying not to press R1 on every item in his house and steal things. So this guy I don’t know gives me a letter where he’s pretending to be someone else I don’t know to give to a girl I don’t know.

Whatever. I go outside and punch a cow.

After waiting ‘til morning I decide to walk around town. There’s a guy who says ‘Damned dogs!’ and he has two HUGE dogs with him. I try to talk to him but my only option is ‘buy him a drink’. Fock that. I ain’t buying nuthin’ for nobody! It’s my mother fething money – do you know what I am saying (/South Park reference). So I keep walking, and I see this kid. I go to talk to him and he screams and runs away. I’m not sure why. The child’s mother comes at me with a knife, so I killed her. Was she meant to get the letter? I have no idea. She’s dead now. I loot her corpse as her child runs away.

Then another guard attacks me, so I kill him. Then I meet Sven, the guy the other elf is pretending to be in the letter. We talk about where I can trade stuff, which is awesome as I have heaps of swords and hammers and clothes and pots that I need to sell. I don’t tell him about the other elf dude trying to get in on his lady action and leave him. The angry guy asks me for another drink. I ignore him. Then a person with a bow tries to shoot me, so I kill him as well. Instantly all my quests fail.

I turn off the console.

And that was my first hour in Skyrim.

That seems about right...

I think your problem was trying to play it on the PS3, you got the short end of the stick performance-wise

H.B.M.C. wrote:So Skyrim arrived yesterday, here is a rundown of how my first hour went:

I spend the first couple of minutes of Skyrim just listening to the music on the opening title screen. It’s very cool. I’m gonna buy the soundtrack. I hit new game, and I wake up on a cart with some low-poly count guy talking at me. A bad voice actor complains that he was just trying to steal a horse, and they talk about a guy with a blind-fold around his mouth being important. He looks like the guy to my left so really the only difference is the blindfold around his mouth which apparently stops him from speaking.

We arrive at this place where there are a bunch of soldiers who have swords and shields that clip through their bodies. Realism!!! The bad voice actor starts praying to lots of gods in a clumsy attempt at intimating to the player that we are in a pantheistic land of fantasy. Apparently the general of this place is dealing with the elves. Sneaky elves. I’m gonna play as one, see if that gets me out of jail. We get told to get off the cart for executions. Go due process! The bad voice actor screams that they’ll never take him alive and runs off. An archer runs through a shooting-an-arrow animation and the bad voice actor instantly ragdollises, slumping to the floor with his legs splayed and without so much as a scream. Cause that’s what happens when you get shot by a longbow – gravity instantly becomes way more intense on the exact spot you’re standing, all the bones in your body vanish, and you just collapse. Good buy bad voice actor. It was nice knowing you... whoever you were. We’ll always have the cart we were on.

My ‘interactive’ cut-scene continues as I look frantically for my legs or any sense that I am a real person and not a hovering camera. No such luck. They call out a bunch of names. The guy to my left on the cart and the guy who looks like him but has a blindfold around his mouth are called out. Then I come forward and they ask me who I am. I make a High Elf chick who looks like a man. You’re not allowed to be good looking in Skyrim. The guard says that I’m not on the list, but the bitch of a captain tells him to kill me any way. feth you, you whore! I hope a dragon attacks you one day.

So they’re about to kill me when Puff the Magic Dragon drops in and starts talking really loudly. For some reason balls of fire start falling from the sky. Is that normal in Skyrim? I run away, hiding in a room with all the people who look alike. I run up some stairs, ignoring the textures popping in ever so slowly, and jump across a roof in a way that only a floating camera could. I end up back with the guard who didn’t want to kill me. Sweet. I follow him. The guy who used to have the blindfold around his mouth (or it could’ve been the other guy – they both had the same clothes and hair) argue and both ask them to come with them. I guess they like elf chicks who look like men.

I go with the guard, as he didn’t want to kill me, and we run around underground for a while. I pick up a bunch of weapons and cups and bowls and plates and other stuff and even find a weapon. I can’t work out how to equip them because I’m never told. Eventually I figure out what the O button does. Jump as triangle sucks. I change the keys so right attack is square and jump is X. Now talk/pick up/interact is R1. It’s confusing. I flail hopelessly at two rebels and miss them while the guard kills them.

We find a torturer and a room with stuff in it. I have to throw away all my bowls and plates and cheese and apples because I’m carrying too much stuff. I break 6 lock picks trying to get into cell that has nothing in it. I won’t be doing that mini-game again if I can help it...

Suddenly we come across some HUGE SPIDERS! AAHHHHHHH! I hate huge spiders. By this stage I’ve got the hand of ‘pressing square until things die’, so I press square a lot and things die. There are some eggs to take, but why would I want a spider egg? Each of the dead spiders was very kindly carrying a bottle of their poison. Maybe they were poison merchants but I misinterpreted them spitting at me as attacks rather than a sales pitch? Who knows. I’m new to Skyrim. Maybe spiders run the merchant guild? I pocketed the poison and keep wondering whose job it is to keep lighting all the torches and fire pits down in these caves.

We come across a big bear, and the guard says I should sneak past it. It sees me anyway. He kills it. I work out that firing arrows at the ground is not an effective way to fight a bear. I pick up my arrows. We find some more rebel guys, but the guard kills them because I’m too busy trying to work out the sensitivity on my aiming control stick.

Eventually we make it outside and he says we should split up for some reason that isn’t explained very well. I say ok and head left while he goes right. I run into some black dude called a ‘Red Guard’ and get into an argument with him. He draws first so I kill him. Self defence! I decide that heading to the left will just see me killing more black guys, so I head towards my objective marker. I see a big ruined cathedrally thing across the river, so I swim across the river and go up there. Three bandits attack me, so I kill them and steel their arrows and clothes. I’ve got like 25 sets of clothes with me now, each worth 30 something gold. Gonna make a mint!

Eventually I make it into town that night. I walk into a house – I believe it was the House of Long Loading Times. Some elf dude talks to me about a chick he’s totally in love with but has clearly been ‘friend zoned’ by, and how he wants to get her to hate the guy she likes. I think that’s what he said. I wasn’t really listening. I was trying not to press R1 on every item in his house and steal things. So this guy I don’t know gives me a letter where he’s pretending to be someone else I don’t know to give to a girl I don’t know.

Whatever. I go outside and punch a cow.

After waiting ‘til morning I decide to walk around town. There’s a guy who says ‘Damned dogs!’ and he has two HUGE dogs with him. I try to talk to him but my only option is ‘buy him a drink’. Fock that. I ain’t buying nuthin’ for nobody! It’s my mother fething money – do you know what I am saying (/South Park reference). So I keep walking, and I see this kid. I go to talk to him and he screams and runs away. I’m not sure why. The child’s mother comes at me with a knife, so I killed her. Was she meant to get the letter? I have no idea. She’s dead now. I loot her corpse as her child runs away.

Then another guard attacks me, so I kill him. Then I meet Sven, the guy the other elf is pretending to be in the letter. We talk about where I can trade stuff, which is awesome as I have heaps of swords and hammers and clothes and pots that I need to sell. I don’t tell him about the other elf dude trying to get in on his lady action and leave him. The angry guy asks me for another drink. I ignore him. Then a person with a bow tries to shoot me, so I kill him as well. Instantly all my quests fail.

I turn off the console.

And that was my first hour in Skyrim.

As long as you had fun and collected a lot of bowls.

Also, the way the controls are set up, having any of the attack buttons on the facepad is a bit of a bad idea. R1 and R2 would be best- personally, I swapped them so that my left button does the left hand, the right the right. Makes more sense that way.


And if all your current quests have failed, well... better find some new ones!

I use a ps3 controller sometimes for skyrim, I have right and left attacks mapped to r1 and l1 respectively.

H.B.M.C. wrote:review of Skyrim

First off, that was pretty funny. I lol'd a few times.

Second off, you're right, the voice acting isn't the best, and there are clipping issues at times.

Third off, you switched the controls around to some crazy configuration and then complained about it? I think that one is your fault. (And, there is a 3rd person view mode)

Fourth off, you ran into the first town you came across and proceed to attack the livestock, then get confused when people attack you and killing them ruins the quests they were involved with? That one is definitely your fault.

You're talking about punching cows like that's frowned upon.

I punched the cow. Nothing happened. I jumped over the fence next to him. The cow didn’t even move. It just kinda looked at me. I then waited until the sun rose and walked around town. Everyone was going about their business. It was only when I got close that everyone went nuts and that mother came at me with a knife.

I personally didnt like the Nightingale armor. I thought it looked a bit absurd TBH. And yes, it was mainly because it looked like I was the fething 11th century batman.

H.B.M.C. wrote:So Skyrim arrived yesterday, here is a rundown of how my first hour went:

I spend the first couple of minutes of Skyrim just listening to the music on the opening title screen. It’s very cool. I’m gonna buy the soundtrack. I hit new game, and I wake up on a cart with some low-poly count guy talking at me. A bad voice actor complains that he was just trying to steal a horse, and they talk about a guy with a blind-fold around his mouth being important. He looks like the guy to my left so really the only difference is the blindfold around his mouth which apparently stops him from speaking.

We arrive at this place where there are a bunch of soldiers who have swords and shields that clip through their bodies. Realism!!! The bad voice actor starts praying to lots of gods in a clumsy attempt at intimating to the player that we are in a pantheistic land of fantasy. Apparently the general of this place is dealing with the elves. Sneaky elves. I’m gonna play as one, see if that gets me out of jail. We get told to get off the cart for executions. Go due process! The bad voice actor screams that they’ll never take him alive and runs off. An archer runs through a shooting-an-arrow animation and the bad voice actor instantly ragdollises, slumping to the floor with his legs splayed and without so much as a scream. Cause that’s what happens when you get shot by a longbow – gravity instantly becomes way more intense on the exact spot you’re standing, all the bones in your body vanish, and you just collapse. Good buy bad voice actor. It was nice knowing you... whoever you were. We’ll always have the cart we were on.

My ‘interactive’ cut-scene continues as I look frantically for my legs or any sense that I am a real person and not a hovering camera. No such luck. They call out a bunch of names. The guy to my left on the cart and the guy who looks like him but has a blindfold around his mouth are called out. Then I come forward and they ask me who I am. I make a High Elf chick who looks like a man. You’re not allowed to be good looking in Skyrim. The guard says that I’m not on the list, but the bitch of a captain tells him to kill me any way. feth you, you whore! I hope a dragon attacks you one day.

So they’re about to kill me when Puff the Magic Dragon drops in and starts talking really loudly. For some reason balls of fire start falling from the sky. Is that normal in Skyrim? I run away, hiding in a room with all the people who look alike. I run up some stairs, ignoring the textures popping in ever so slowly, and jump across a roof in a way that only a floating camera could. I end up back with the guard who didn’t want to kill me. Sweet. I follow him. The guy who used to have the blindfold around his mouth (or it could’ve been the other guy – they both had the same clothes and hair) argue and both ask them to come with them. I guess they like elf chicks who look like men.

I go with the guard, as he didn’t want to kill me, and we run around underground for a while. I pick up a bunch of weapons and cups and bowls and plates and other stuff and even find a weapon. I can’t work out how to equip them because I’m never told. Eventually I figure out what the O button does. Jump as triangle sucks. I change the keys so right attack is square and jump is X. Now talk/pick up/interact is R1. It’s confusing. I flail hopelessly at two rebels and miss them while the guard kills them.

We find a torturer and a room with stuff in it. I have to throw away all my bowls and plates and cheese and apples because I’m carrying too much stuff. I break 6 lock picks trying to get into cell that has nothing in it. I won’t be doing that mini-game again if I can help it...

Suddenly we come across some HUGE SPIDERS! AAHHHHHHH! I hate huge spiders. By this stage I’ve got the hand of ‘pressing square until things die’, so I press square a lot and things die. There are some eggs to take, but why would I want a spider egg? Each of the dead spiders was very kindly carrying a bottle of their poison. Maybe they were poison merchants but I misinterpreted them spitting at me as attacks rather than a sales pitch? Who knows. I’m new to Skyrim. Maybe spiders run the merchant guild? I pocketed the poison and keep wondering whose job it is to keep lighting all the torches and fire pits down in these caves.

We come across a big bear, and the guard says I should sneak past it. It sees me anyway. He kills it. I work out that firing arrows at the ground is not an effective way to fight a bear. I pick up my arrows. We find some more rebel guys, but the guard kills them because I’m too busy trying to work out the sensitivity on my aiming control stick.

Eventually we make it outside and he says we should split up for some reason that isn’t explained very well. I say ok and head left while he goes right. I run into some black dude called a ‘Red Guard’ and get into an argument with him. He draws first so I kill him. Self defence! I decide that heading to the left will just see me killing more black guys, so I head towards my objective marker. I see a big ruined cathedrally thing across the river, so I swim across the river and go up there. Three bandits attack me, so I kill them and steel their arrows and clothes. I’ve got like 25 sets of clothes with me now, each worth 30 something gold. Gonna make a mint!

Eventually I make it into town that night. I walk into a house – I believe it was the House of Long Loading Times. Some elf dude talks to me about a chick he’s totally in love with but has clearly been ‘friend zoned’ by, and how he wants to get her to hate the guy she likes. I think that’s what he said. I wasn’t really listening. I was trying not to press R1 on every item in his house and steal things. So this guy I don’t know gives me a letter where he’s pretending to be someone else I don’t know to give to a girl I don’t know.

Whatever. I go outside and punch a cow.

After waiting ‘til morning I decide to walk around town. There’s a guy who says ‘Damned dogs!’ and he has two HUGE dogs with him. I try to talk to him but my only option is ‘buy him a drink’. Fock that. I ain’t buying nuthin’ for nobody! It’s my mother fething money – do you know what I am saying (/South Park reference). So I keep walking, and I see this kid. I go to talk to him and he screams and runs away. I’m not sure why. The child’s mother comes at me with a knife, so I killed her. Was she meant to get the letter? I have no idea. She’s dead now. I loot her corpse as her child runs away.

Then another guard attacks me, so I kill him. Then I meet Sven, the guy the other elf is pretending to be in the letter. We talk about where I can trade stuff, which is awesome as I have heaps of swords and hammers and clothes and pots that I need to sell. I don’t tell him about the other elf dude trying to get in on his lady action and leave him. The angry guy asks me for another drink. I ignore him. Then a person with a bow tries to shoot me, so I kill him as well. Instantly all my quests fail.

I turn off the console.

And that was my first hour in Skyrim.

I lol'd quite a few times at that..... When I played it I didn't think of any of that. I just thought, "Whatever, as long as something dies with this epic combat."

KingCracker wrote:I personally didnt like the Nightingale armor. I thought it looked a bit absurd TBH. And yes, it was mainly because it looked like I was the fething 11th century batman.

Exactly why I wear my flawless nightingale armour rather than my legendary dragonscale armour with better enchantments.

corpsesarefun wrote:

KingCracker wrote:I personally didnt like the Nightingale armor. I thought it looked a bit absurd TBH. And yes, it was mainly because it looked like I was the fething 11th century batman.

Exactly why I wear my flawless nightingale armour rather than my legendary dragonscale armour with better enchantments.

Same... also really cannot be arsed to grind enchanting when i can just stab everyone... hell i ould do it but naked but doing it while dressed as an 11th century batman is so much cooler...

H.B.M.C. wrote:I punched the cow. Nothing happened. I jumped over the fence next to him. The cow didn’t even move. It just kinda looked at me. I then waited until the sun rose and walked around town. Everyone was going about their business. It was only when I got close that everyone went nuts and that mother came at me with a knife.

I wouldn't get out of bed for a cow punching either. You can hardly blame them for wanting to get some breakfast and coffee before getting outraged.

corpsesarefun wrote:

KingCracker wrote:I personally didnt like the Nightingale armor. I thought it looked a bit absurd TBH. And yes, it was mainly because it looked like I was the fething 11th century batman.

Exactly why I wear my flawless nightingale armour rather than my legendary dragonscale armour with better enchantments.

purplefood wrote:

corpsesarefun wrote:

KingCracker wrote:I personally didnt like the Nightingale armor. I thought it looked a bit absurd TBH. And yes, it was mainly because it looked like I was the fething 11th century batman.

Exactly why I wear my flawless nightingale armour rather than my legendary dragonscale armour with better enchantments.

Same... also really cannot be arsed to grind enchanting when i can just stab everyone... hell i ould do it but naked but doing it while dressed as an 11th century batman is so much cooler...

You two have terrible taste in whats cool

Terrible taste in coolness, the Nightingale armor is the coolest.

its ok, but I still prefer my Steel Plate(till I can forge Dragonplate)

The Steel Plate helmet is just awsome

I'm a little disappointed that other armour doesn't look as badass as steel plate. Bandit Chiefs in that stuff look as if they are actually warriors, and it seems like a waste to kill them.

What i'd like is some sort of Bandit Leader DLC, where you can hire people like mercenaries to form Bandit clans, have a hideout etc.

From your hideout, you can appoint guards to any outside places and inside ones, decide who will take part in raids, and appoint veterans as people like treasurers (acting essentially as the clan's inventory, they choose their equipment from what you give your treasurer in the same style as followers, and wages come out of the gold that you give him, with gold gained from raiding settlements added too.

Occasionally one of your men might turn up whlst you're on your travels and report that a raid you sent out was killed or followed back, and the hideout is under attack by soldiers of <insert whichever side is in control of the settlement> or by a rival bandit clan, or a dragon is laying waste to your hideout, or even a band of adventurers decided to try and claim a bounty put on your clan.

On your travels, you can also be ambushed by said adventurers or rival clans looking to claim a bounty on your head.

Perhaps you could also hire your clan out to a thane or even Ulfrik/Tullius.

What determines if a companion is KO'd or killed? Just pure damage or a certain amount of KOs?

The only way a follower can die is if you kill them yourself. Enemies will attack your hirelings until near death, when the hireling will crouch down and enemies will ignore them.

They can also die if they are attacked to the point of yielding in an area where they will continue to take damage, e.g. someone cast firewall, they get knocked back in a fight into a trap/blade gauntlet, or are still getting hit with area effect spells because they are near you or another friendly NPC.

Sadly the friendly fire possability is all too common. They always step between you and the enemy right in the middle of your power attack

I guess I may have been flailing my sword a bit too wildly but I coulda sworn those archers in the distance keep shooting her...

On the discussion about the Nightingale armour, it's mostly cause I can't upgrade it at all. :/ Would love an unenchanted version of it.