40k Humour - Some randomness

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**Anung Un Rama**

Snikrot's Grot wrote:waaaait...
obama's promise= change
tzeentch's WHOLE purpose=change
obama+change=TZEENTCH
HOLY CRAP AMERICA IS BEING RUN BY A CHAOS GOD

Better Tzeentch than Khorne. The power-hungry, war-crazy lunatic.

P.S. Yes, I know that Khorn once was so much more than that, but you know what I'm trying to say.

**Orkeosaurus**

I think Khorne's usually more successful at war.

**aunshova**

yep

**Krellnus**

Yeah if Khorne ran the US Bin Laden would have died before he was a threat, but then again it's what he does.

**tallmantim**

If Khorne was president, he would instigate policies that foment further, unceasing war.

He would have deals with arms manufacturers to help him get into power, and would play countries like Macedonia, Greece, Israel and Palestine off against each other.

He would ensure that there was some natural finite resource that he used rapidly to further unbalance the world.

He would proclaim to be a strident follower of a God (doesn't matter which one) in order to further unbalance the world.

;-)

**chaplaingrabthar**

Can we keep the politics out of here, please? I'm enjoying the random 40K humr of this thread, even if much of it originated in SomethingAwful or 4chan /b but I fear political back-and-forth even in jest will ead us to locksville.

**grizgrin**

Threads like this are so destined for lock they're born with a Master birthmark and a number dial.

**Kid_Kyoto**

You'd never guess it from the subject but this is one of the funniest threads I've seen in ages.

http://www.dakkadakka.com/dakkaforum/posts/list/230152.page

**Sternguard_rock**

LOL funny stuff

**Roze**

Ha ok that thread is funny!

**GoFenris**

Snikrot's Grot wrote:10 Things you need to know about Marneus Calgar
1. It never rains on Marneus Calgar
2.Before Marneus Calgar goes on stage he breaks someone else's leg for good luck
3.Marneus Calgar was the first person to tame a dinosaur
4.Marneus Calgar's heart(s) beat once a week
5.Marneus Calgar can sneeze with his eyes open
6.Marneus Calgar has no doors in his fortress, only walls he walks through
7.Marneus Calgar can grate fresh parmesian with his stubble
8.Marneus Calgar can turn back time by staring at a clock
9.Marneus Calgar won a staring contest with the sun
10. Marneus Calgar is the only person know to beat both Bruce Lee and Chuck Norris in kung fu.

Yeah, that's great and all but can he wake up with morning wood?

**GoFenris**

Kid_Kyoto wrote:You'd never guess it from the subject but this is one of the funniest threads I've seen in ages.

http://www.dakkadakka.com/dakkaforum/posts/list/230152.page

Great thread. Anyone looking for a chuckle should go check it out.

**Rymafyr**

I haven't laughed so much in a very long time. Thx KK for pointing out that thread.

**Orkeosaurus**

tallmantim wrote:He would have deals with arms manufacturers to help him get into power, and would play countries like Macedonia, Greece, Israel and Palestine off against each other.

He would ensure that there was some natural finite resource that he used rapidly to further unbalance the world.

He would proclaim to be a strident follower of a God (doesn't matter which one) in order to further unbalance the world.

;-)

Uh... no he wouldn't.

Khorne doesn't plot. He doesn't play people against themselves. And he would just worship himself.

**Necroagogo**

ultramarine1 wrote:
50 Ways to Annoy your Opponent

46. Don't place your wizard on the board at the start of the game. At the end of your deployment, use a small explosive device to create a smoke screen and place down the wizard behind it while you yell, "poof!". When the smoke dissipates, say, "Tadaa!"

That one made me LOL.

**perplexiti**

This is the funniest thread I've seen in a long time, pure gold

**tallmantim**

Orkeosaurus wrote:
tallmantim wrote:He would have deals with arms manufacturers to help him get into power, and would play countries like Macedonia, Greece, Israel and Palestine off against each other.

He would ensure that there was some natural finite resource that he used rapidly to further unbalance the world.

He would proclaim to be a strident follower of a God (doesn't matter which one) in order to further unbalance the world.

;-)
Uh... no he wouldn't.

Khorne doesn't plot. He doesn't play people against themselves. And he would just worship himself.

How many Champions of Khorne does it take to change a lightbulb?

Why would they change the lightbulb? Have you never heard of murder in the dark?

**Ratbarf**

Knock knock
Whose there?
Khorne!
Khorne who?
Flakes!

An Angry gods dandruff, part of this unholy breakfast.

**Paul Atreides**

Does this mean we are out of funny pictures?

**Golden Eyed Scout**

tallmantim wrote:
Orkeosaurus wrote:
tallmantim wrote:He would have deals with arms manufacturers to help him get into power, and would play countries like Macedonia, Greece, Israel and Palestine off against each other.

He would ensure that there was some natural finite resource that he used rapidly to further unbalance the world.

He would proclaim to be a strident follower of a God (doesn't matter which one) in order to further unbalance the world.

;-)
Uh... no he wouldn't.

Khorne doesn't plot. He doesn't play people against themselves. And he would just worship himself.

How many Champions of Khorne does it take to change a lightbulb?

Why would they change the lightbulb? Have you never heard of murder in the dark?

No, Khorne doesn't like decieveing, he views it as cowardly. They would scream and yell alot to get the person's attention in the dark, then brutally disembowel them.

**Neconilis**

Paul Atreides wrote:Does this mean we are out of funny pictures?

**Neconilis**

**Neconilis**

**Neconilis**

Not 40K, but the 'logic' holds up quite nicely ;-)

**Anung Un Rama**

Dude, that Cybot surfer pic only works with sound

**Neconilis**

Anung Un Rama wrote:Dude, that Cybot surfer pic only works with sound

True enough ;-) Though surfing music does tend to make everything better after all.

**perplexiti**

Love that Kegnaught, essential for every party.

**Paul Atreides**

Oh thank god, I was starting to get worried.

**aunshova**

lol Tau Empire

**DakkaDreadnought**