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Unfortunately, his cult-like followers had a hidden agenda of their own, as a few of them were actually the Inquisitors earlier in the thread who had not given up on seeing Max burned, flayed, hanged and buried alive...so one night, they did it

Oh, is that it then? (how undramatic)! Should I start a new character, leave it to you lot or do people want to continue with this one?

Alternatively, I could leave the thread to die...

Well, i guess someone could turn him into a new character if they really wished...

You guys forgot, he died like 8 posts ago and I got around it... (by using my brain )

Fortunately the inquisitors were very drunk when they tried it, and the morning after they discovered that they had instead burned, flayed, hanged and buried alive their Grandmaster. Emperor Maximus and his followers had long since vacated the area after watching the inquisitors' little show and laughing copiously, and the inquisitors were eaten by the tyranid invasion that hit the planet later that day.

I was going to say the same thing, MasterDRD... aka_tizz has put him in worse spots than that, and we've gotten him out of it

I don't have anything to add just yet... but good save!

Unfortunately this was Max's bad dream

Unfortunately, as we all seem to have forgotten, Max was on PLANET EARTH, cerca M2 right now. So that meant the Tyranids hit the planet at least 38 thousand years too early, and humanity was utterly unprepared.

(Stay with us, Dave!)

Fortunately, it seems Grotzooka forgot that Max had, in fact, been transported to the Eye of Terror, back in his own time, before this took place. (no, really. Check back )

(responding to Arheiner, who came before Grotzooka):
Fortunately, when Max awoke from his unpleasant dream of being Emperor, he discovered that he in fact had been declared King of the Galaxy, obliterated the Imperium, calmed the Warp, turned the tyranids into harmless zoo animals, stuck the C'tan into an alternate universe filled with tasty souls, caused the Eldar and Dark Eldar to be friends again, organized the Orks into armies of Gladiators who fought in planet-sized arenas against each other for eternity for his own amusement, and the Tau just disappeared because 'a wizard did it'.

Curses!

Unfortunately for Max, a single Tau had survived the wizard's purge. Singling out Max as the cause for all his problems, he began a crusade, a crusade to topple Max from his throne and remake the universe in his own blue-skinned image!
But unfortunately for the Tau, "fortunately" was up next, meaning that he would soon be killed in an embarassing and silly way.

Fortunately, Max pointed out that he was not a wizard, and was not affiliated with the wizard in any way. The tau was so embarassed that he imploded and ended up in a different dimension, where (male) drow elves brutally raped him for eternity.. Max lol'ed.

Child friendly NOT!

Remember basic forum rules, please.

Unfortunately, the vortex that dragged the tau into a different dimension was a super-duper-ultra vortex, who dragged Max into another dimension as well...A dimension of eternal bliss, food, drink and inactivity, where Max could eat all that he wanted, but was soon to die from a nasty indigestion

I hope this is child friendly enough

Fortunately it was so child friendly that Max unexpectedly gave birth to a son, whom he named MiniMax, shortly before expiring from a combination of overeating and plot twists.

MiniMax grew quickly to Ogrynhood by eating the plentiful food supplies all around him, and had sense to avoid his father's fate.

When MiniMax reached the age of 21, he decided to venture forth and make his fortune in the exciting world of Warhammer 40K!

Unfortunately, his father, whom we may now call by his true name Max Max (also known in other cultures as TuMax or 2xMax) had failed to tell MiniMax that the universe of 40k contained some very Ogrynophobic dakkaites, and when MiniMax ventured forth, he ran straight into them.
"Boy am i now screwed" thought MiniMax on seeing them charging towards him with their keyboards and mices drawn, ready for the kill

Fortunately the crowd of Dakkites was so thick and they were so intent on reaching their goal that they piled into one another before any of them could get to MiniMax.

In the resulting confusion, MiniMax was able to make good his escape, and jumped on board a passing No.17 bus.

Unfortunately for MiniMax said bus was only traveling a few meters to the left of said mob.....poor poor minimax.

Fortunately, being entirely composed of hardcore dakkaites, the mob could only move 6" at a time.

Unfortunately the harcore mob of dakkaites, rolled a 6 for thier run roll o.0

Fortunately, this meant they could not assault, and max was free to go and hide.

Unfortuately the most hardcore dakkaites had fleet of foot.

Fortunately, Max 2.0 had a received a gift from his father in the dimension of eternal bliss, before he expired.

It was a magical cloak. This cloak would teleport max 3d6 in a random direction whenver he had taken a wound (and as an Ogryn, he could take many) a la the high elf army book.

So as soon as a Dakkaite reached the bus and pricked his finger, he was instantly teleported- into the depths of the OT forum!

Unfortunately MiniMax was unable to escape from the OT forum until he had read many, many threads about politics, guns, religion, evolution and other topics which made his small Ogryn brain hurt.

Much later, a sadder and slightly wiser -- though not much -- MiniMax emerged from the OT forum and found himself outside a second hand electronics shop on the planet of Armageddonouttaheer.

Fortunately, Max's run-in with the OT forum had produced yet another fun cross-over universe experience, after a run-in with a thread discussing J.K. Rowling and her works.

This was fortunate because Max, being a Muggle, knew exactly what all of the little electronic gadgets inside the shop did. The wizards and witches gazing into the windows had no idea, of course, and he was able to resell a bunch of two-to-three-prong plug converters at 10x their value.

(I can't resist... I'm on book 4 and I only started 2 days ago...)

Oh dear. Read fast, RiTides, because some er on here is gonna accidently let something slip in one of these posts, and the right slip could kinda ruin the series for you.

Crap! Maybe I'll take a hiatus from posting here... but since I'm already halfway through book 4, I'm kind of getting there.

Also, I already knew a few things were coming, having seen bits of pieces of the movies (but never one the whole way through)

Thanks for the warning

Unfortunately, Max had no idea what his old dad's chup did so he went into the shop to ask the manager.

Fortunately a librarian was the manager....and not a Space Marine Librarian either but an actual librarian from a book store....why she was there I don't know but she was. So MiniMax was so infatuated with her he could do anything but stand there in awe staring at her.

Unfortunately she ripped his heart out and ate it.

And that was the end of the story.