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Fortunately for Mini max....as stated somewhere earlier in this thread he had ork in him.....having that his heart began to slowly grow back to its full strength.

Unfortunately, he was only half-orc, so only half his heart grew back.

Fortunately, as his half-heart was orkoid it was twice as strong as a normal human heart, so MiniMax was just fine

Unfortunately, this still left Mini-Max with the problem of a heart-eating librarian of doom, who was still after him. Mini-Max fled into the depths of the library, pursued at every turn by the librarian.

Fortunately there was a magician there who enjoyed reading his books and was quite disturbed by the ruckus caused by Minimax and the Librarian. He then summoned a magical storm which brought book characters to life.

(continuation) Thus dragging the Librarian into a drawn out battle which many book characters allowing Minimax to escape.

Unfortunately, MiniMax escaped to the Inner Sanctum : a dark room, filled with tomes and volumes of the Twilight series, their characters brought to life, and now he was having his life sucked right out of him by the Cull'em clan

Fortunately, the magician's magical storm had also brought the entire cast of Eisenhorn to life, and Gregor and the gang smashed into the Cullens screaming "Death to the bloodsuckers!" MiniMax ran further into the sanctum, looking for a charactor who was friendly towards small Ogryn-Orks.

Unfortunately he found the Forsaken from the Wheel of Time series. They tortured him for several days, then annihilated him with balefire. (A magical fire that effectively removes the victim from existence completely, for those unfamiliar with the series...)

Hmm... tough one...

Fortunately, when they said "effectively removes" they meant "effectively removes". A tiny bit of Mini-Max's fingernail was left behind, and the aformentioned magician picked it up and decided to see if he could restore Mini-Max's body.

Unfortunately, the wizard accidentally exiled the fingernail to the inside of the sun, where it was obliterated, thereby removing all traces that Mini-Max had ever existed.

MasterDRD, would it be safe to say that you want this story to end?

Not the thread, no. Just Mini-Max. (Oldschool Max was better...)

Fortunately, Mini-Max's soul fled to his father's cryo-pod in the Eye of Terror (pg 14). There, it entered one of Max's extra bodies. Max was effectively returned from the dead.

Unfortunately the now Max, Mini-Max, was in the Eye of Terror.

Fortunately the Eye of Terror can house some pretty nice things as well as bad ones, and Max the Returned was fortunate enough to end up in a really nice place, with nothing but women and food and drinks and endless pleasure...

Unfortunately the women were nipple-bounty-hunters, who collected bounties on the nipples of famous people. So they cut off his nipples and escaped, leaving Max trapped and bleeding out fast.

Fortunately, he was smart enough to suck the blood dripping from his cut nipples, and return it to his own body, so he was safe for now...except for the fact that every 30 seconds he had to suck his own boobs

Unfortunately, they immediately grew back and max developed Agraphobia, Contreltophobia, Erotophobia, Genophobia, Paraphobia and Genuphobia, they also happened to be completely and utterly uncurable. Then he was captured by necrons.

Never mind.

Oh dear, the post about ninja'ing ninjas was ninja'd itself... how ironic...

sorry lol

Fortunately they WHERE Necrons... and being as such were pretty sleepy.. so Max the Returned made good his escape

Unfortunately, where there is one Necron there are bound to be others. While sneaking out of the tomb, Max The Returned ran into a Tomb Spyder that was making repairs. The Spyder threatened Max with a claw while it woke up the rest of the Necrons.

Fortunately, Max had just taken some serious hallucinogenic drugs, and believed that the tomb spyder was actually a large puppy. And because of his partially orkish blood, by the power of WAAAGH!!!!!!!, because he believed it with all his heart it came true. The rest of the Necrons, with the almost nonexistent fragments of their original souls, "D'awwww"ed so fiercely that they imploded, showering the tomb with flower petals.

Unfortunately, Max was still trapped in a tomb, and now he was seeing things.

Fortunately Max suddenly woke up. He realised the entire thread had been a dream, just like in the TV show Dallas all those years ago.

Unfortunately, by the power of autosuggestion, the whole thread that had actually been a dream came to life, along with everything that had happened in it

Fortunately, all the dream-turned-real characters were just as high and hungry as Max was, so they ordered some Space Pizza and rocked out Pink Floyd

Fortunately, the entire thread coming true included the fact that it was a dream, and Max disappeared in a puff of circular logic, allowing the thread to end so that a new one could begin.

http://www.dakkadakka.com/dakkaforum/posts/list/0/284474.page#1414306