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2012/03/22 21:18:27
Subject: Apparently, Science Has Ruled You Should Be Careful Naming your Kids.
Expectant parents, back away from the baby-name books.
Okay, a peek or two probably won't hurt you. But if you're planning on trashing "15,000 Baby Names" (Meadowbrook Press, 1997) for the even-lengthier "The Baby Name Countdown: 140,000 Popular and Unusual Baby Names," (Da Capo Press, 2008), you may be setting yourself up for a fall.
Psychologists are finding that more choices often lead to more paralysis and regret, and baby names seem to be no exception.
"There isn't hard data, partially because I don't know of any accessible data on name changes," said baby-name expert Laura Wattenberg. "But as a percentage of my mail … remorse from parents who have already chosen names is rising." [Most Hated & Most Popular Baby Names]
What's in a name?
In a two-part post on her blog, The Baby Name Wizard, Wattenberg explores this name-remorse phenomenon. Parents want the perfect name for the baby, she told LiveScience, and for good reason — evidence suggests names can influence a child later in life. For example, boys given feminine names experience more disciplinary problems in school, probably related to teasing and insecurity. Studies have also shown that a name's racial background can send signals to hiring managers, with one well-known 2003 study from the National Bureau of Economic Research finding that resumes with "white" names were more likely to receive callbacks than identical resumes with "black" names.
At the same time, names reveal more about a child and a child's parents than ever before. According to Wattenberg, it took a list of six names to cover half of the population of children born in England in 1800 (U.S. Social Security Administration records don't begin until 1880). By 1950 in the United States, that number was up to 79. Today, it takes 546 names to cover half of the population of U.S. babies born.
What that means, Wattenberg said, is that names send more tailored messages now than in the days when there were significant numbers of little Johns and Marys running around.
"Names are becoming more important as they're becoming more diverse, because every choice sends a stronger signal," said Wattenberg, author of "The Baby Name Wizard: A Magical Method for Finding the Perfect Name for Your Baby" (Three Rivers Press, 2005). "When you're choosing names from around the world or you're inventing your own name, that comes with a more powerful message."
Name remorse
Almost invariably, name-hunting parents are looking for something appealing but unique, Wattenberg said. That's a tough standard, given that appealing names are generally popular by definition. As a result, baby name books have become thicker and thicker, with the record-holder currently swollen with 140,000 names. (The catch, Wattenberg said, is that these enormous name dictionaries usually count every possible spelling of a name separately, inflating their totals.) [The Name Game: Quiz Yourself on Popular Monikers]
The problem with this name explosion is that psychologists don't necessarily find that having more choices is better. To explain this phenomenon, Swarthmore College researcher Barry Schwartz coined the term "the paradox of choice." Schwartz's research suggests that the more choices we have, the more stressful those choices become. And even if we make a perfectly serviceable choice, we're more hampered by regret.
That's what Wattenberg says she sees in advice-seeking parents with name remorse. Some are frustrated because their unique baby name keeps getting mispronounced. Others learn of some distressing association with the name after they chose it and stamped it on Baby, she said. But most parents she hears from simply feel that another choice on their top 10 list would have fit their baby better.
"Maybe Jude would have fit better than Luke and totally changed your baby's life," said Wattenberg, summing up parents' thoughts.
Wattenberg said her advice for parents with name remorse goes in two directions. If Mom or Dad simply feels that their 6-week-old just doesn't seem like a Jude, it may be prudent to relax.
"Kids grow into their names in ways you can't predict," Wattenberg said.
On the other hand, "I think we're all a little too scared about changing an infant's name," she said. Very young babies get called by a variety of nicknames anyway, she pointed out, and they're unlikely to care or notice a name switch early on.
But the best bet may be heading off name remorse before birth.
'The chances that you need to look beyond the 25,000 best names is very slim," Wattenberg said, adding that after a certain point, baby name books are just throwing in "the dregs."
"We're always looking to make our lists bigger," Wattenberg said. "Just remind yourself to make your list smaller — and if you have a bunch of good options, that's a wonderful situation to be in. That means that they will all be fine."
Just something interested for anyone who has heard about the twins named Loser and Winner, or the guy who changed his name to Optimus Prime. What I want to know is how do I become a baby-name expert and how much does that pay?
kronk wrote:Daily Joy is a name I heard recently. My girl and I agree that she will be a stripper.
Summer Winter Faels (pronounced Falls) is another stupid name I heard growing up.
I'm naming my kid Dick. Not Richard, Dick. Even if it's a girl.
THink that's bad?
I had a teacher whose first and middle names were "Gay" and "Joy". The last name I don't remember, or anything about her personality. I do however remember the jokes that were made at her expense.
The people in the past who convinced themselves to do unspeakable things were no less human than you or I. They made their decisions; the only thing that prevents history from repeating itself is making different ones.
-- Adam Serwer
My blog
2012/03/23 16:18:17
Subject: Apparently, Science Has Ruled You Should Be Careful Naming your Kids.
LordofHats wrote:
Just something interested for anyone who has heard about the twins named Loser and Winner, or the guy who changed his name to Optimus Prime. What I want to know is how do I become a baby-name expert and how much does that pay?
I have a great deal of experience with horrible names.
I know a girl with the middle name "Eyes-of-the-moon."
My second cousin is named Zavior Zander Z----- (letters redacted).
And I recently discovered a friend named their child Roswell...her last name is Roswell.
Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh.
2012/03/23 16:39:16
Subject: Re:Apparently, Science Has Ruled You Should Be Careful Naming your Kids.
Two girls I used to know had parents that needed to be smacked. I kid you not, I actually knew these people.
The Cain family named their daughter Candice, and used the nickname 'Candy'. (The real irony is that, as much as that sounds like a stripper name, Candy was a total nerd and bookworm, and even by our senior year still hadn't developed much of a figure... and she preferred it that way.)
The Lear family named their daughter Crystal, middle name Shanda. Oy.
I'm pretty certain my parents were stoned when they named me. First name Andrew, middle name Steven, last name starts with an S.... check the initials. The really funny part is that my grandmother didn't get it. She even got me an embosser so I could put my initials on the first page of my books. My full initials...
CHAOS! PANIC! DISORDER!
My job here is done.
2012/03/23 17:21:03
Subject: Apparently, Science Has Ruled You Should Be Careful Naming your Kids.
Joey wrote:My friend called her child "Princess". Sad but true.
I genuinely hate your friend.
There was a lad in 29 Commando who was called Rea (pronounced Reyer) and as a private in the artillery his rank was "Gunner" so it was a long standing joke "Gunner Rea, why the feth didn't you join the infantry?!"
I really hate stupid names. I seriously would name a child with ease.. I know women are more picky than men, so I would just say to her
"David, Jonathan, Phillip, Paul, Andrew, Elizabeth, Sarah, Victoria, Rebecca - Insert any normal ordinary bloody name... pick one"
Not hard is it?
All these fethers with stupidly named children annoy me. Why does your kid have to be "unique" when it isn't? It's one of billions.
I could rant on that topic for weeks as well.. The amount of people I've heard saying "Oh he/she is DEFINITELY advanced for their age!"
People are far too sentimental..
We are arming Syrian rebels who support ISIS, who is fighting Iran, who is fighting Iraq who we also support against ISIS, while fighting Kurds who we support while they are fighting Syrian rebels.
2012/03/23 17:46:34
Subject: Re:Apparently, Science Has Ruled You Should Be Careful Naming your Kids.
Call me old fashioned but I'm all for the traditional naming of children. Names from the family to pass down. I'm named after my dad, my brother is named after my mother's father. Works well, gives a child a sense of place.
2012/03/23 17:49:08
Subject: Apparently, Science Has Ruled You Should Be Careful Naming your Kids.
Or it could just give the child a feeling of oppression because there's always that shadow hanging over them.
The people in the past who convinced themselves to do unspeakable things were no less human than you or I. They made their decisions; the only thing that prevents history from repeating itself is making different ones.
-- Adam Serwer
My blog
2012/03/23 17:51:01
Subject: Apparently, Science Has Ruled You Should Be Careful Naming your Kids.
Worst one I've heard of went along the lines of "Number 16 Bus Shelter," it's just contemptible that anyone would do that - sounds like a case for social services! I don't know what laws exist for dealing with unacceptably daft names but I reckon the penalty for doing it should be that the parents are given the name instead - for life.
2012/03/23 17:52:49
Subject: Apparently, Science Has Ruled You Should Be Careful Naming your Kids.
MadEdric wrote:Call me old fashioned but I'm all for the traditional naming of children. Names from the family to pass down. I'm named after my dad, my brother is named after my mother's father. Works well, gives a child a sense of place.
My legal name ends in "IV", it hasn't given me a sense of place.
But then I've spent most of my life burying my head in books. Has a way of destroying the self.
Automatically Appended Next Post:
filbert wrote:I have met a Private Parts...
Howard Stern should file suit.
This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2012/03/23 17:58:30
Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh.
2012/03/23 19:48:24
Subject: Apparently, Science Has Ruled You Should Be Careful Naming your Kids.
I too have known a Private Parts My dad's battalion also had a Sergeant Sergeant (Sergeant being both his last name and his rank). My dad claims to have known a Major Paine as well.
RossDas wrote:Worst one I've heard of went along the lines of "Number 16 Bus Shelter," it's just contemptible that anyone would do that - sounds like a case for social services! I don't know what laws exist for dealing with unacceptably daft names but I reckon the penalty for doing it should be that the parents are given the name instead - for life.
I agree completely ! A guy I know named his kid 'bunny love', it was all fun and games until someone on Facebook pointed out that it was the name of a porn star. The point is, at what point does this kind of naming constitute child abuse?
I'd probably just go for a normal, traditional name, by the time my kid grows up it will stand out amongst all the bizarre names that have been used by scummy parents.
Hey I met a Sergeant Serjeant! He wasn't RA was he?
We are arming Syrian rebels who support ISIS, who is fighting Iran, who is fighting Iraq who we also support against ISIS, while fighting Kurds who we support while they are fighting Syrian rebels.
2012/03/23 21:44:54
Subject: Re:Apparently, Science Has Ruled You Should Be Careful Naming your Kids.
More have died in the name of normality than ever for strangeness. Beware of normal people. 
And if you're drinkin' well, you know that you're my friend and I say "I think I'll have myself a beer" 
