40k Vending Machine I: Just As Planned

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**Chaos Legionnaire**

You get a fully painted Mordian Iron Guard army.

I insert an anvil.

**DanroMalaw**

You get a GI Joe coloring book and a glow stick.

I insert an autographed photo of Malcolm Reynolds

**ChargerIIC**

You get documented proof that the Illuminati canceled Firefly

I insert a thesis on Adeptus Mechanicus - Space Marine relations.

**Chaos Legionnaire**

You get documented proof that ancient aliens built the pyramids.

I insert a glass display case.

**snurl**

You get extra shelves!

I insert dashed hopes and broken dreams.

**Chaos Legionnaire**

You get a Republican.

I insert a grand piano.

**ZergSmasher**

You get one of Wile E. Coyote's drawings of a plan to kill the Roadrunner.

I insert a CRASSUS ARMORED ASSAULT TRANSPORT.

**snurl**

You get Space Corridors and Industrial Towers.

I insert extra washers.

**Chaos Legionnaire**

You get extra dryers.

I insert a DD214.

**ZergSmasher**

You get a set of dogtags.

I insert Deadpool.

**snurl**

You get a cesspool.

I insert clean underwear.

**EmberlordofFire8**

You get an anti-highschooler.

I insert Overwatch.

**Chaos Legionnaire**

You get a twin-linked heavy flamer.

I insert a cell phone.

**snurl**

You get a Star Trek Communicator.

I insert an ordinary deck of cards.

**Chaos Legionnaire**

You get a deck of 52 holographic first edition Pokemon cards. Currently worth less than an ordinary deck of cards, but in 30 or 40 years who can tell?

I insert a handful of shark teeth.

**ChargerIIC**

You get an entirely unwholesome, toothed grin from the vending machine.

I insert a Fidget Cube

**SuspiciousSucculent**

You get a three-sided cube. Wait a minute, that can't be right. In fact that is wrong by definition. How is this a cube? It shouldn't be a cube. ...but it is...

You get a headache.

**snurl**

I insert asprin.

**ChargerIIC**

You get an Imperial Heresy notice for practicing medicine without a license

I Insert a kitten

**ZergSmasher**

You get a hairball.

I insert Wonder Woman.

**snurl**

You get Wonder Bread.

I insert Dunkirk.

**ChargerIIC**

You get a fishing boat.

I insert a cluster of Ministroum-issued Frag Gernades

**ZergSmasher**

You get a spelling lesson.

I insert a pipe bomb.

**Shuma-Gorath**

You get a Bob-omb.

I insert a a bucket of golf balls.

**SuspiciousSucculent**

You get a golf tee (the shirt kind).

I insert an iced tea (the drink kind).

**snurl**

You get a Teepee (the indian kind)

I insert a kerfuffle.

**ChargerIIC**

You get a family reunion

I insert a Dell Laptop

**ZergSmasher**

You get a servo skull.

I insert a bowl of petunias.

**snurl**

You get a CRASSUS ASSAULT TRANSPORT!

I insert an innuendo.

**Chaos Legionnaire**

You get a double entendre.

I insert a blank check.