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Ok, So this is something that comes up alot in my family, When im going to have kids. Now just so you know i'm single 20 and never had a GF.
Yet having kids young is something that is part of my family. And everytime they do i say i dont want kids, that i don't want the responsibility. They think i'm weird for it
I have also talked to my friends(one who is a year older then me and is already looking for a wife to have a baby with) and he thinks it weird because he thinks its natural for a man to want to take care of a women(note. I never said i don't want to get married)
Some of my other friends feel this way too, they don't want kids, and get blasted for it.
They also think its weird i don't want to be in a relation ship until i can learn to manage my stress and anger.
So why is it im weird for not wanting kids?
Note: I don't hate kids, I love them, I love playing with my nieces and nephews and i love holding a newborn in my arms. It just i don't have to deal with the bad stuff and can pawn it off to the parents.
I think my family is addicted to kids, and i'm the only one who can give kids to them now.

 hotsauceman1 wrote:
Now just so you know i'm single 20 and never had a GF.

Get back to me in 10-20 years. Not wanting kids at 20 isn't that odd. Now being 20 and never having had a relationship is odd, and probably the impetus behind the discussion.

Tell them you want kids when you're thirty, after you're mature, and educationally / financially stable.

Well we have a biological imperative to breed for one. For two and more relevant I believe that once people HAVE kids there's enough hormones and other chemicals convincing them how wonderful the act of raising a child is that they can't possibly understand how you wouldn't want children of your very own to raise.

Now I'm a 22 year old divorced guy who's slightly bitter.

Me personally if I have kids and I do want them, I don't want a woman involved. Why? Well my experiences with the female half of the species have been overwhelmingly negative by and large so if I have children I don't want to expose them to the psychotic tumult that an insane wife/mother or a painful divorce could bring. Otherwise I just really don't want kids.

 Ahtman wrote:

 hotsauceman1 wrote:
Now just so you know i'm single 20 and never had a GF.

Get back to me in 10-20 years. Not wanting kids at 20 isn't that odd. Now being 20 and never having had a relationship is odd, and probably the impetus behind the discussion.

Crippling Shyness and social awkwardness. Im working on it, I go to 40k night to work on social skills. Also, i have a permaneant scowl on my face when im not smiling because of the way my face is shaped.

Caveat: I'm a divorced dad with two Boyz ages 6-8 yo... being a Dad is purely awesome-sauce.

@hotsauceman1: If you don't want kids right now... and say, that may change later, but you're not ready (list reasons).

And no... it's NOT weird. YOU need to be ready for kidz...and only YOU can make that determination.

Also a divorced father, with a soon to be 5 year old. Concur with whembly in that being a Dad is awesome, but it takes work. Especially if your kid lives 550 miles away with his mother.

It's not weird. You have to be ready for the responsibility that is raising a kid. It can suck the life out of you at times, but then you see them do stuff and you it makes the hard times worth it. Get yourself into a good place before you even think about it.

I'm kinda in the same situation. 20, doesn't want kids now, only been in one relationship.


I don't want kids now because:

1. Not a big fan of kids
2. Even if I did like kids, I know in my current situation, I would not be able to provide for the Kid and the mom.

Now in 10-15 years from now, when all of the studying and hard work I'm putting in towards my Vocation pays off, I may open up to the idea of children.

If I still do not want kids after that, then there's nothing wrong with that. Being a parent isn't for everyone.

 Iur_tae_mont wrote:
I'm kinda in the same situation. 20, doesn't want kids now, only been in one relationship.


I don't want kids now because:

1. Not a big fan of kids
2. Even if I did like kids, I know in my current situation, I would not be able to provide for the Kid and the mom.

Now in 10-15 years from now, when all of the studying and hard work I'm putting in towards my Vocation pays off, I may open up to the idea of children.

If I still do not want kids after that, then there's nothing wrong with that. Being a parent isn't for everyone.

Exactly.

I want a child... desperately. Well. Not really 'desperately", but I want a daughter. Then again, I'm the only boy besides my dad and grandfather in the WHOLE family, so the pressure is on to have a boy.

I'm seriously considering adopting a little Japanese girl or something, maybe like five years old. Adopted children seem more mature than regular children. Aside from the nuances that I think would be really cure, adopting a child is a fantastic thing to do, regardless of where the child comes from, what language it speaks, or how kawaii she is.

I think I would make a fantastic parent. I'm fun, spontaneous, warm, caring, protective. But I think I'm also firm enough to make decisions where it counts. I can't wait.

 hotsauceman1 wrote:
Ok, So this is something that comes up alot in my family, When im going to have kids. Now just so you know i'm single 20 and never had a GF.
Yet having kids young is something that is part of my family. And everytime they do i say i dont want kids, that i don't want the responsibility. They think i'm weird for it
I have also talked to my friends(one who is a year older then me and is already looking for a wife to have a baby with) and he thinks it weird because he thinks its natural for a man to want to take care of a women(note. I never said i don't want to get married)
Some of my other friends feel this way too, they don't want kids, and get blasted for it.
They also think its weird i don't want to be in a relation ship until i can learn to manage my stress and anger.
So why is it im weird for not wanting kids?
Note: I don't hate kids, I love them, I love playing with my nieces and nephews and i love holding a newborn in my arms. It just i don't have to deal with the bad stuff and can pawn it off to the parents.
I think my family is addicted to kids, and i'm the only one who can give kids to them now.

Your family is asking in a roundabout way if you are gay. My brother went through the same thing.

Well Im thinking of saying i am. first to get a rise outta the fundmentalist, and to keep them quiet.

 KalashnikovMarine wrote:

Now I'm a 22 year old divorced guy who's slightly bitter.

There is a great story in the bold.

32 single plenty of past relationships.

I loathe children. People always say "You'll feel differently when theyre yours!"Granted but I doubt it being mine would change my feelings when they are screaming and crying and throwing a tantrum.

It's not weird. Your only 20. I didn't have my first child tell I was 26. Wasn't even planned either. We got a piece of mail from the pharmacy telling my wife's birth control was defective about 3 weeks through the month. /facepalm

Will say being a dad is awesome. I wasn't sure about kids myself until I had them. The first time my wife left me alone with my daughter I was scared to death

 dogma wrote:

 KalashnikovMarine wrote:

Now I'm a 22 year old divorced guy who's slightly bitter.

There is a great story in the bold.

I heartily encourage people to learn from my feth up there. Shockingly a 24 year old marrying an 18 year old Marine PFC probably isn't the stablest individual.

A child, much like donating blood and organs, secures your genetic immortality. The ripples of you will go forth through the ages, achieving things which we could only dream of.

I do think it is weird to never want children. It is not weird to not want children right now- I've got one, and want another as soon as I can afford it- but that's at least a few years out.

I don't think it's weird. I've been through phases when I think children sound like something I could want, but then something occurs to change my mind. At the age of 28, I've come to the realization that if that's something that's going to happen, I'm either raising someone else's, marrying young, or marrying soon.

Eh, maybe after I get my gak together. Definitely not something I lose sleep over though.

At 20, it's not unreasonable to not want kids. I'd be surprised if you did, to be honest.

You can always tell them that when you have a job and are secure financially that you'll think about it then.

I also think they're asking in a round-a-bout way if you're gay.

 hotsauceman1 wrote:
Well Im thinking of saying i am. first to get a rise outta the fundmentalist, and to keep them quiet.

Watch it. They might start trying to set you up. And yeah, that's totally what they're doing. "Confirming" your bachelorhood and all.

What Kronk said and I want to add...you play with mini's and know more about the 40K universe then RL.....

 Jihadin wrote:
What Kronk said and I want to add...you play with mini's and know more about the 40K universe then RL.....

And have extreme love for pastel colored children's shows.

 Samus_aran115 wrote:

I'm seriously considering adopting a little Japanese girl or something, maybe like five years old. Adopted children seem more mature than regular children. Aside from the nuances that I think would be really cure, adopting a child is a fantastic thing to do, regardless of where the child comes from, what language it speaks, or how kawaii she is.

Oh, internet. Just when I thought I was out, you pull me back in!

 Albatross wrote:

 Samus_aran115 wrote:

I'm seriously considering adopting a little Japanese girl or something, maybe like five years old. Adopted children seem more mature than regular children. Aside from the nuances that I think would be really cure, adopting a child is a fantastic thing to do, regardless of where the child comes from, what language it speaks, or how kawaii she is.

Oh, internet. Just when I thought I was out, you pull me back in!

Whats wrong with that? I mean, the only real problem I see here is that you're just going to be hungry again in like 20 minutes.

Wait, this isn't the baby eating thread...

I don't think you can adopt a japanese child. If so then the agency that runs their adoption on their end is really going to research on you.

 Albatross wrote:

 Samus_aran115 wrote:

I'm seriously considering adopting a little Japanese girl or something, maybe like five years old. Adopted children seem more mature than regular children. Aside from the nuances that I think would be really cure, adopting a child is a fantastic thing to do, regardless of where the child comes from, what language it speaks, or how kawaii she is.

Oh, internet. Just when I thought I was out, you pull me back in!

Glad I'm not the only one who squinted at his monitor after reading that.

Wanting to have kids at 20 is weird. Not wanting to is sane.

Honestly, never have kids. All they do is steal ALL your money, gak everywhere, and ruin your social life.

Then you sweat bullets when they join the army and get deployed

I'm 40. Don't want kids at all, and I don't think it's weird. I love when my nephews come over to to visit, but by the end of the day I'm usually exhausted and happy they're leaving. Don't think I could handle that 24/7 Me and my GF just like dogs better I guess

I'm 27, want kids, and have been in plenty of relationships-none of them lasting a long time. My parents occasionally asked about me having kids, right up until my girlfriend two years ago got pregnant, kept quiet about it, and...ended the pregnancy, before she broke up with me. My parents know about this, and have stopped asking about me having kids, knowing how painful the situation was when she started skirting around my questions on the matter. I've never had a hard time picking out pregnant women, and I could feel my spider-sense tingling that my GF at the time was in such a state, even before the admittance from her of "I thought so too, but it's taken care of. I'm not." I also haven't had a girlfriend since this one-I've dated, fooled around, but haven't gotten back into anything serious-losing a kid to a &#$t like her kind of damaged my relationship abilities. I'm over her romantically, but the scars of what I lost still haven't healed. I'm not sure how that helps you, OP, but I thought I'd share anyway. Of course, I wanted to get married since I was in kindergarten and had a crush on the weird girl in class.