Forum adverts like this one are shown to any user who is not logged in. Join us by filling out a tiny 3 field form and you will get your own, free, dakka user account which gives a good range of benefits to you: No adverts like this in the forums anymore. Times and dates in your local timezone. Full tracking of what you have read so you can skip to your first unread post, easily see what has changed since you last logged in, and easily see what is new at a glance. Email notifications for threads you want to watch closely. Being a part of the oldest wargaming community on the net. If you are already a member then feel free to login now.

Tough one. You need to describe the over-arching plot line so people can have an idea of context... and talk about about the main characters so some of the key names will be familiar to the reader.

Wow, I mean simply amazing IceAngel! As an inspiring writer I marvel at the amount of work and dedication you have put into this thread about your chapter. I believe the first post was made two years ago and your still working and enjoying your work, that is truly something to admire. I recently wrote some fluff for my new necron army I did not get any replies, it is ok though I believe it is because Necrons are not as popular as Space Marines. I will continue to work on my necron fluff but, you have inspired me to continue to work on my DIY chapter. I just wanted to stop by and give you praise for all your hard work and ask you what inspires you to continue to write?

Wow. Thanks for the great comment 1+1. As to your question, I continue to write because I have a story to tell that a handful of people enjoy reading. At first it was just for my own personal use but as more people got involved and the guest marines showed up the story grew and my urge to write wasn't as much for myself as it was for everyone else that has contributed. At this pace it will probably be another two years before I finish, but that's only book one. Book two will be crazy!

Now I will warn you, if you post fluff don't expect a lot of comments. If I get more then two responses after I post a chunk, I consider that a big success. Keep at your own writing and the readers will be more interested.

Oh and thanks for reading my fluff!

This summary is designed to catch any new readers up on my story. Of course, I recommend you read it all to better get to know the characters but this will give you a broad idea of what is going on. If any of you believe I need to add anything into the summary please let me know.

Our tale begins with the Veteran Squad Uttuakki on an infiltration mission into an ork rokk. The orks in the system have been defeated and the Ice Angels were dispatched to destroy all the stragglers before they flee the system. While the Uttuakki sabotage the ork rokk for the rest of the second company, several members stumble across a chamber deep in the rokk and discover a mutilated space marine prisoner. After the mission, the prisoner; Commander Vetov of the Emperor’s Tears, reveals a dark secret. There is a dark elder force hidden amongst the orks holding more astartes prisoners.

With this knowledge Second Captain Ruusa leads the Ice Angels towards the last rokk in the system. This time they discover a dark eldar temple hidden in it's depths. Here the Ice Angels find another prisoner, Pyrox of the Fire Angels. As the Angels search deeper they find the dark eldar are using warp gates to travel amongst the ork rokks. Upon discovering the presence of the Ice Angels, the Eldar attempt to activate a bomb to destroy the rokk and all the angels on it but are stopped by the second company. During the action Captain Ruusa is slain by the leader of the dark eldar who then escapes through the gate. The loss of the Captain Ruusa struck deep into Ice Angel moral and left the newest Ice Angel captain in charge of the veteran units, Captain Razzik.

Not all of the other Ice Angels have fully accepted the newest Captains position and tension between several other sergeants, namely Muttabriqu of the Uttuakki, makes Razzik’s current position even more difficult. However, the ancient Chaplain Cyaxeres is there to console the newest captain in the fine art of diplomacy.

The Ice Angels take their news to the war council on the Iron Torch but instead of praise they are reprimanded for disobeying orders and taking the situation into their own hands. To make matters worse Inquisitor Vervin was on board. She has a history with the Angels, and sends them on a suicide mission after Captain Razzik looses his temper, disputes the council’s claims, and disrespects the Inquisitor. Their mission was to go to the Kota system to find proof of the Dark Eldar involvement. However, the Kota system was deep in ork territory and believed to be the home system of the current ork waaaagh.

To further insult the Ice Angels, Inquisitor Vervin forces the Angels to take other marines. These marines were sent along to monitor the Ice Angels and confirm they follow through with their mission and not further dishonor their name. These four marines were Inushi of the Mantis Warrior, Desai of the Sky Wardens, Nefas of the Sinners Chapter, and Kvothe of the Shadow Sanctus Chapter.

Witnessing this entire exchange several other chapters sent true volunteers to aid the Ice Angels, Evrard of the Dark Angels, Reven of the Blood Angels, Inigo of the Sons of Hades, Jaska of the Marines Chrysemys, Walters the Red Talon, and finally Aquilum of the Emperor’s Fools.

With their newest companions, the Ice Angel ship the Frozen Rage, set out to the Kota system. The trip through the warp is long and the marines spend most of their time training, preparing, and getting to know one another. Cyaxeres learns that Desai of the Sky Wardens is on a suicide mission himself because he believes he will loose himself to the Black Rage. Whether Inushi wanted it or not, Aquilum befriends him and Inushi begins to learn about his loyalty and views on the Empire.

Eventually they arrived far out in space to silently slide into the Kota System. As they do, they watch the flooded system empty of orks as the true waaaagh was released into the surrounding systems. What are left are the stragglers and several score of space stations and ork held planets. Not far from the Frozen Rage position an ork transport sputtered with warp engine problems. Undetected, the Ice Angels moved in.

The entire Ice Angel Company and most of the guest marines board the ork vessel and commandeer the ship. Using it as their vessel, they entered into the system to look for clues as to the purpose or plans of the Dark Eldar. Meanwhile Tech Marine Philosir had his own mission suggestion, one of the ork held space stations has built around an ancient Imperial station, they will attempt to access the systems of the original station in the hope that learning the history of the Kota system will shed some light on the current situation.

Using an Ork Krooza Philosir takes a small unit of marines to infiltrate the station, which is where we currently are in our story.

Perfect summary Ice, its like reading a recap for a popular TV show

Nice summary Ice. e-mail sent.

Thanks guys. Edits have been applied.

I am currently reading the story (taking notes) you refer to HUD alot, what exactly is that?

Heads-up Display... i.e. the scanner (or whatever) appears on the inside of the windscreen of the vehicle or the visor of the marine.

Thanks Gitsplitta I knew it was some kind of communication device. I have to say that your dedication to your Mantis Warriors is just as impressive as IceAngel!

now I have to try to read yours aswell as IceAngels! I feel that you guys share the same interest as I do when it comes to the hobby! I have always enjoyed writing fluff but I never really thought to write and build my army at the same time! I think that by following in the Mantis Warriors and Ice Angel foot steps my army will come along nicely and I will enjoy the hobby alot more. I am a pretty good 40k player, and I write articles for my friend's blog I dont know how deep you are into strategy or what not, but this one I believe is one you two will enjoy!

http://19thlegion.blogspot.com/2011/11/confessions-of-waac-gamer.html

@1...etc: (gotta come up with a good nickname for you)

Not surprisingly Ice and I have become friends over dakka. His writing is fantastic and his modeling and painting are really nice too. Check out his Ice Angels and the army he did for last year's Adepticon, his Tiger Claws!

My blog is a monster, but if you're not up to reading the whole thing (even I'm not up to that) I've got the fist post linked to all the summaries and battle reports so you can just hit those & be pretty well caught up. Things are slow now as I'm painting figs for my kid's armies for Christmas, but they'll pick up with a vengeance afterwards.

I'll be sure to check it out. I am not a good 40k player but it's not for lack of trying. Too many rules sets bouncing around in my head and I don't have the retention I used to. Be happy to check out your work!

awe wheres my marine :( lol

That summery is very good, Great work, are yo ugoing to put it to the front?

Sageheart you gave me Brother Desai. He is in the summary.

oh sorry, my mistake. XD I missed read haha.

Me like the words you posted in story format. U need to word mur witt grammr that make U talinteeded.

Looking forward to more.

Thanks!

I think.

Greetings

Oh NOOO!!!!!... I have read all my way to the end and now I have to wait :(

Firstly, I like 40K fluff but I don't tend to read the fiction sections on Dakka (and 'other' sites). I suppose Gitsplitta highlighted your work but I would like to think that I would have read this sooner or later anyway.

Secondly, read all your stuff from beginning to end - took a few days but I'm glad I did! I really enjoy reading your stuff, it is very good.

I could be very annoying and point out some of the grammar/ spelling issues but I dunno... That might take some of the fun out of it.

Also, you have now led me into looking at the GMS thread, so well done there too! Keep it up, fella - I'm hoping that this will help me write up some fluff for my own Marines.

Ragsta

Jihad_Ragsta wrote:
Greetings

Oh NOOO!!!!!... I have read all my way to the end and now I have to wait :(

Firstly, I like 40K fluff but I don't tend to read the fiction sections on Dakka (and 'other' sites). I suppose Gitsplitta highlighted your work but I would like to think that I would have read this sooner or later anyway.

Secondly, read all your stuff from beginning to end - took a few days but I'm glad I did! I really enjoy reading your stuff, it is very good.

I could be very annoying and point out some of the grammar/ spelling issues but I dunno... That might take some of the fun out of it.

Also, you have now led me into looking at the GMS thread, so well done there too! Keep it up, fella - I'm hoping that this will help me write up some fluff for my own Marines.

Ragsta

Thanks Ragsta! Feel free to point out any grammatical issues, just shoot me a PM and I'll fix. You should definitely check out the GMS thread. It's good motivation to improve your painting skills, at least it was for me.

After reading through the entire thread in only a few days, how many hours would you say that took you?

I always welcome improving my painting skills so I'll make my presence known on the GMS soon.

Hmm, good question. Well, after filtering your thread (awesome function that - no reflection on your other followers though!) I think the entire story must have taken me roughly 8 hours. I was rather drunk on squig beer on several occasions so can't be too sure but definitely 6 hours anyway.

It was time well spent - one thing you have really managed to achieve is create different personalities with your Marines. You also had me wanting to throttle that Inquisitor myself, which I commend you for! Do you have any background in creative writing?

Keep up the good work anyway. One minor thing that had me guessing was the boarding action against the Ork kroozer - you refer to the Imperial Navy during this part of the story, which had me trying to work out if the Frozen Rage had some Navy escorts involved too.

Keep up the good work

Jihad_Ragsta wrote: Do you have any background in creative writing?

No I do not, but I did take one class in college for fun.

Jihad_Ragsta wrote:Keep up the good work anyway. One minor thing that had me guessing was the boarding action against the Ork kroozer - you refer to the Imperial Navy during this part of the story, which had me trying to work out if the Frozen Rage had some Navy escorts involved too.

The Frozen Rage does not have an Imperial Escort, but it is staffed by Imperial Naval Personnel. I think the section in which you are referring to is when they assault the kroozer before unleashing the train. All of the attack vessels the Frozen Rage unleashed were piloted by the Imperial Navy.

EDIT: Can somebody please post something really fast so I can post more story? I try to keep my comments separate from my story and I don't want it to auto edit. Thanks!

No prob Ice!
Looking forward to reading it

Inushi’s hand was vibrating. He looked down at his trusty Mk III plasma pistol. The glow of the ancient device was still strong, but it vibrated in his hand as if a creature was trying to escape. The royal purple of the stock and the mirror silver of the barrel gave him a sense of pride. He slid it back into its holster and thought of the first time he rebuilt the device and claimed it as his own. The memory filled his thoughts for a flickering instant before he refocused on the situation at hand.

“Here they come again!” Hunzuu shouted as the war cries of the orks grew in intensity.

Inushi drew Shar-drasha’s flamer up to his chest and took his position next to the still motionless, still screaming, mechanized ork. Aquilum was several steps ahead of him and finishing his reload when another surge of orks crested the room once again.

The marines let the first few greenskins enter the room before Inushi and Hunzuu lit up the ones behind. Aquilum, Reven, and Pyrox met the orks in hand to hand. Chain blades roared, axes bit into armor, a pink powerfist pummeled, and in the center of it all the gore covered form of Pyrox removed limbs and disabled greenskins.

Inushi and Hunzuu stopped flaming and moved up to the flanks of the battle as more greenskins rounded the corner into the room. With the flamer attached to his hip he drew his katana and lunged forward. The long blade effortlessly pierced their flesh and as the orks pushed he found himself able to pierce through more then one ork at a time. Unfortunately the swell of orks began to push the marines back. The slain stood standing as they were held up by the second ranks of orks before being pushed forward towards the marines.

With a backwards hop Inushi swung in an arc in an attempt to keep the orks at bay, all while he monitored Aquilum to his left. The Emperor’s Fool was bludgeoning his opponents with his storm bolter in between shots and punching with his pink powerfist. However even he was slowing stepping back. Inushi jabbed at several orks trying to get between him and Aquilum. The line had to hold or they would be quickly over run.

Looking past Aquilm Inushi tried to see Reven, but only caught the glimpse of his yellow helm. He felt confident in Revens abilities as the near constant fountain of blood gave him an indication of how he was managing.

After another quick jab from his katana Inushi side stepped around the form of the disabled ork. Not far to his left the wall of orks opened up as if they were giving birth. The form of Pyrox tumbled out, deceased orks dropped over one another as Pyrox rolled back onto his feet. His right arm dangled at a strange angle before Pyrox gave a swift jerk, placing it back where it needed to be. Reven and Aquilum both stepped back to protect the Fire Angel, which in turn forced Hunzuu and Inushi to close in.

Inushi fought within reach of the disabled ork but he saw several grots running under its legs. An ork was also squeezing between the ork and wall. Inushi lowered his guard for a moment as he imagined the future of the battle and what the effects this would have on the fight.

An object that he didn’t see coming stuck his helm. The shock and strength of the blow pushed him back several steps. His helm suffered major damage and his head throbbed. Inushi swung at another arc and tried to reclaim the ground he had lost but the orks pushed in. The powered katana sliced and dismembered. The greenskins didn’t relent. Inushi reached for the flamer and brought it up to chest level. The satisfying squeeze of the trigger initiated a disappointing sputter of flame. In milliseconds Inushi’s focus zoomed in on the tank of the flamer and he saw the hole evacuating its last occupant.

As if they sensed weakness in the room the greenskins pushed with renewed force. Inushi was forced to take several steps back as he had to engage more and more enemies. Aquilum tried to get involved but there were too many of them and he had his own issues. The line began to fold in on itself and the marines found themselves backing up against the rear wall.

Inushi leapt into the air so his foot could reshape an orks face. Before his two feet had returned to the ground he had unsheathed his combat blade. Katana in his left and knife in his right he tried to push back. His anger at his situation fueled his swings. Inushi dropped two foes simultaneously as a flash of sharpened steel came at him in as an upward thrust. Inushi was forced to bend into a crescent shape as the sharpened steel blades of a power claw closed in the air where his stomach had been.

Four blades, six hydrolic lines, left handed, well kept, one large ork glyph, the word “Nutsnippa” was inscribed on the thumb blade. Inushi absorbed it all. His focus was so intense he ceased to hear.

The claw retracted and Inushi swiped with his combat knife. The knife scraped across the body of the claw but the damage was superficial. The two nearest orks were still falling from their own wounds as the short form of a hunched ork came into view behind them. The one eyed ork had no neck and no facial expression. Its blank disposition tugged at a nerve that further upset the Mantis Warrior. Without hesitation Inushi went for a downward slice with his katana as the ork deflected with a short bladed hatchet.

Anger continued to fuel his swings as Inushi attempted a forward thrust with his knife. The short but extremely muscular ork tilted just enough to avoid the thrust. Inushi glared as his combat knife sliced the simple vest the greenskin wore. Now over extended Inushi’s glare turned into a look of shock as the initial pressure of the claw began to close around his stomach.

Inushi’s focus was drawn into the one blood shot eye of the ork. There was no fear in that lonely eye, no pain, no joy, nor was there a hint of anger. Inushi felt his focus slipping as he stared at the eye. The red eye blankly stared back.

Inushi knew that time would return to its normal speed at any moment. He knew that sound would return to him like a crashing thunderhawk, but worst of all he knew that death was approaching. The abdominal pressure turned into pain as the claws breached his armor and cut into flesh.

Time returned with a vengeance and the next few seconds were a blur. One moment he was preparing to die the next he was being pulled back to the wall. The powered claw snapped shut with only four tips of blood in the space before him. Aquilum took a blow to the chest after saving him but held his own while Inushi regained his footing.

Another two orks swung at Inushi. His reflexes alone saved him. His retaliation was swift but as they fell with deep gashes and missing limbs, more moved in. Inushi frantically looked around for the one eyed ork as he fought, but he was no where to be seen.

The volume of the battle was ear shattering but some how a single voice pierced the shroud of noise. The joyous scream of victory from Aquilum brought on a quizzical expression from Inushi. But before he could ask he saw the answer. The red armored form of Philosir was dropping from the ceiling. Arms out stretched, paper thin axe in hand, servo arms wielding weapons he had never seen before, the tech marine plummeted into the throng of orks like a meteor breaching a pond.

Inushi couldn’t see the landing, but when a monotone shout to the Emperor breached his ears, the marines pushed back.

....... AND THEN WHAT HAPPENED?

Fantastic piece Ice! No edits or suggestions on my part. Had me worried there... *gulp*

Gah.... I want to know what happens next!!!

Thanks guys! I hope you all had good holidays. Mine was great. A bit light on the warhammer side of things but thats okay. The one 40k thing that I did receive was a version of Captain Razzik created by my friend. I thought that was cool. Once I base him I'll put up a picture.

HRRUUK, one of the tech marines servo mounted arms barked. The guttural sound reminded Inushi of the war cry the armored simians from his home world would scream. The floor trembled from the explosion and yet another wave of sound smashed into Inushi.

The explosion paused many of the orks mid-combat. The marines didn’t hesitate to take advantage and in moments another row of orks were collapsing to the floor. Sensing the change of pace in the battle Inushi leapt forward over the small wall of bodies in front of him to engage the now confused greenskins.

Aquilum and the other marines had the same idea. Orks began to panic and flee as the row of astartes began to retake the room.

HRRUUK, the tech marines arm barked again. This time Inushi was able to witness the weapon in action over the mob of combat between him and Philosir. One of the tech marines arms ended in a claw with a wrist mounted barrel. A thin tube ran from the barrel down the servo arm to disappear into the massive back pack of the tech marine. Inushi examined the blast as it occurred. Given the results of the blast it had to be some sort of explosive akin to the grenades on Inushi’s hip, albeit Philosir’s blast was larger then any grenade Inushi wielded.

He wanted to review the weapon once more but a surviving ork decided to interrupt his concentration and take a swing at him. Inushi dodged the lazy swipe and retaliated with a two handed slice that dropped the ork to the floor. Inushi looked down upon the greenskin and watched as its final gurgle escaped its lips. When he looked up Philosir was completing a full revolution with his two handed axe, leaving a trail of tumbling body parts.

The chuckles of Aquilum floated into Inushi’s ear. Pyrox ran past Inushi chasing fleeing orks towards the hallway with Reven and Hunzuu right behind him. Philosir calmly walked over to the motionless armored ork and began to remove the bizarre elongated weapon that took the life of Shar-Drasha. Inushi took a deep breath and surveyed the room. The floor was littered with corpses, many of which were on fire. The room glowed from the chemical flames. The stench of death and burning promethium had slowly been creeping through his helms filtration system and was getting stronger with each intake of air.

“Report,” Philosir requested as he finished removing the weapon. He held it up, closely examining it before removing some ork additions to the weapon.

“Nothing from the left but I hear them.” Reven stated after a glimpse down the hall.

“I can see a dozen down the right side waiting.” Hunzuu followed up.

“Prepare to move,” Philosir added before leveling the weapon in his right hand, one of his servo arms was holding the weapon from underneath to steady the gun. In his left hand he held the axe. Inushi blinked twice before he realized the axe had minimized for one handed use. Two of the three remaining servo arms opened and closed near the floor occasionally nudging bodies as if they were checking for life signs.

Aquilum stepped up to Philosir and the mechanized ork. With his powerfist he pushed aside the still hanging banner past the face of the ork. The ork had stopped screaming in anger and pain but still looked furious. Aquilum didn’t acknowledge the ork, instead he stared at Philosir waiting for a response.

With a side glance at the armored ork suit the tech marine slammed his axe into a panel to the side of the orks face and the unseen force field popped. Without further action he stepped away. The furious ork dropped his jaw and for a moment had a pitiful look across his face. Up until the point Aquilum’s fist pulverized it.

“That’s for Shar-Drasha.” Aquilum whispered. Inushi mumbled a prayer to the Emperor as Aquilum roughly cut the bottom half of the ork banner off. He then removed the top half of the banner from the pole, swung it over his back, and attached it to his back pack. The heavy fabric brushed the floor and the corners sizzled as they smothered some of the flames on the floor. Aquilum turned and nodded to Inushi. Inushi had seen many marines take battlefield trophies as reminders of their past, but he could only shake his head at the hideous filthy banner now adorned by a pink and yellow armored marine.

A soft whistle began to build from the device in Philosir’s arms. The pitch began to rise and the subtle violet hue once again began to glow. With several quick adjustments it continued its whistle. Hunzuu bounded across the room to gather the remains of Shar-Drasha. The fallen Ice Angel made every marine in the room grit their teeth, only Pyrox spoke a simple prayer for the fallen.

Philosir stepped closer to the entrance of the octagonal room. Two of his servo arms picked up mostly whole ork bodies. They held them in front of the red armored marine like bloody robes waiting to be cleaned. The sleek device peaked between the limp bodies bathing the two bodies in purple light.

With a final look at the marines through his plethora of optical units Philosir spoke, “Follow me.”

I like it Ice... nice transition out of the melee'.

That was fantastic! I love this thread!

Thanks guys!