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So last year, my mother (a lover of all things Christmas) bought my girls the Elf on the Shelf book with accompanying doll as part of there Christmas presents. Now, I wasn't too keen on the idea of using a doll to reign the behavior of my kids in, considering that they are well behaved already, but my wife is pretty into the whole thing so I relented and let her set the doll up. Frankly, I thought the whole thing is kind of lame and I am annoyed with the constant stream of Elf pictures on my Facebook newsfeed (I refuse to do it and surprisingly enough, my wife doesn't do it either). However, my kids both love Merona the Elf (my older girl named her) and my older daughter absolutely insists that the elf doll posses "magic powers" and takes those said powers very seriously; her wonderment is kind of adorable.

While I still don't like the whole thing, I just kind of go with it. I enjoy Christmastime so I try to avoid any "Bah! Humbug!" moments. Does anyone else have one these damn elves hanging out in their house this year?

Burn it, send it to the pit of flame. It stares into your soul
But really, Elf on the Shelf stopped being about kids and became about bored housewives one upping eatchother on how creative they can be on pinterest(The one place worse the 4chan)
Also, Look up Mensch on a Bench

Frankly, this is the best use of the Elf on the Shelf:


Not even the elf on the shelf wants to be seen at a Browns game

 ScootyPuffJunior wrote:


While I still don't like the whole thing, I just kind of go with it. I enjoy Christmastime so I try to avoid any "Bah! Humbug!" moments. Does anyone else have one these damn elves hanging out in their house this year?

The NSA loves our cultural tradition of acclimating the next generation to constant surveillance.

Honestly, I've been horrified of the whole idea since I first heard about it. You Christmasians have some creepy traditions.


Automatically Appended Next Post:

 hotsauceman1 wrote:

Also, Look up Mensch on a Bench

I am disappointed that he is white.

Also, we agree on the efficacy of flame vis-a-vis elves. Legolas better watch his tight little back around the menorah.

We do not participate. Isn't it enough to know that Santa knows if you are naughty or nice? No, we must escalate, escalate, ESCALATE!

Sorry, this doll thing posts what your kids are doing to facebook? :confused:

What.... what is it? And yes to the ^^ does it do this? And how?
Frankly i just want to introduce that thing to my forges heartfire..... When i finally get it up and running.

No, it is just a creepy doll that you move around the house to make kids feel like they are being spied on an watched by Santa's Gestapo.

If you have been bad, the Elf tells Santa who sends Krampus to your house to beat your children with rusty chains if they are bad.

Perfectly reasonable belief.

 Easy E wrote:
No, it is just a creepy doll that you move around the house to make kids feel like they are being spied on an watched by Santa's Gestapo.

Ah, OK

 SilverMK2 wrote:

 Easy E wrote:
No, it is just a creepy doll that you move around the house to make kids feel like they are being spied on an watched by Santa's Gestapo.

Ah, OK

To be fair, a true parent would move the elf around while the kid is doing things without their knowledge, and then also leave scraps of notes around about said child, with things like, "Recommendation: Naughty List"

No, it is just a creepy doll that you move around the house to make kids feel like they are being spied on an watched by Santa's Gestapo.

That's the same impression I got. I think it would feel pretty dirty to convince your kids of that, though I was a pretty smart kid and would have questioned why the Elf looks suspiciously like a nonsentient stuffed animal. I think as a 5 year old you would have had better luck convincing me that the GI Joes were working for santa.

Weird concept. Two steps away from the birthday skeleton.

Oh, jeez. My cousin picked up one of those things, but she's been having fun posting pics of it doing deplorable things on Facebook. Drinking booze, watching pron, "peeing" his name into the snow, and getting caught with another Christas-themed doll in bed. It's been quite funny.

*Note, her and her husband don't have any kids, it's just been a fun joke.

Edit - And holy crap, the Birthday Skeleton is fething creepy and hilarious

The Birthday Skeleton.

*musical tone* I think someone found a new tradition....*musical tone*

Holy crap... I am all about traumatizing young children with mythical figures... the Birthday Skeleton is great.

Loving that Birthday Skeleton.

The Elf is slightly creepy. I wonder if any kids have "seen to" the Elf, in order that no info got back to the fat man in red...

 Apologist wrote:
Weird concept. Two steps away from the birthday skeleton.

My children (if/when i have any) will learn of this.

I had a similar idea for a Gnome in the Home but was shamelessly ripped off.

 Monster Rain wrote:
I had a similar idea for a Gnome in the Home but was shamelessly ripped off.

My fisherman idea of Dwarf on the Wharf was shut down by local canneries... :-\

 mega_bassist wrote:
Oh, jeez. My cousin picked up one of those things, but she's been having fun posting pics of it doing deplorable things on Facebook. Drinking booze, watching pron, "peeing" his name into the snow, and getting caught with another Christas-themed doll in bed. It's been quite funny.

*Note, her and her husband don't have any kids, it's just been a fun joke.

Try the Wh**e in the Drawer

 Dreadclaw69 wrote:

 mega_bassist wrote:
Oh, jeez. My cousin picked up one of those things, but she's been having fun posting pics of it doing deplorable things on Facebook. Drinking booze, watching pron, "peeing" his name into the snow, and getting caught with another Christas-themed doll in bed. It's been quite funny.

*Note, her and her husband don't have any kids, it's just been a fun joke.

Try the Wh**e in the Drawer

And the F&#$ It In the Bucket.

 Dreadclaw69 wrote:

 mega_bassist wrote:
Oh, jeez. My cousin picked up one of those things, but she's been having fun posting pics of it doing deplorable things on Facebook. Drinking booze, watching pron, "peeing" his name into the snow, and getting caught with another Christas-themed doll in bed. It's been quite funny.

*Note, her and her husband don't have any kids, it's just been a fun joke.

Try the Wh**e in the Drawer

I'll have to bring that up to her

Came to this thread to find an explanation of what the elf of the shelf thing is, but left happy with Birthday Skeleton.

Ya'll are a bunch of suckers. Gotta go for Caga tió . He's all about violence and cottage cheese.

 Alfndrate wrote:

 Monster Rain wrote:
I had a similar idea for a Gnome in the Home but was shamelessly ripped off.

My fisherman idea of Dwarf on the Wharf was shut down by local canneries... :-\

My idea for a Man in a Van got me a caution from the police.

 Medium of Death wrote:

 Alfndrate wrote:

 Monster Rain wrote:
I had a similar idea for a Gnome in the Home but was shamelessly ripped off.

My fisherman idea of Dwarf on the Wharf was shut down by local canneries... :-\

My idea for a Man in a Van got me a caution from the police.

You did hang out with Dude with a "Flute".

 Ouze wrote:
Came to this thread to find an explanation of what the elf of the shelf thing is, but left happy with Birthday Skeleton.

This was my experience as well.

 d-usa wrote:

 Medium of Death wrote:

 Alfndrate wrote:

 Monster Rain wrote:
I had a similar idea for a Gnome in the Home but was shamelessly ripped off.

My fisherman idea of Dwarf on the Wharf was shut down by local canneries... :-\

My idea for a Man in a Van got me a caution from the police.

You did hang out with Dude with a "Flute".

The Fruit with a "Flute"...

And then he became the Chap with the Clap