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granted but that look have fabulous taste in paints now

wish i didnt have to go to work tommorrow evening

Granted. You are snowed under in the storm of the century and couldn't get there if you wanted to.

I wish it was 40 degrees warmer.

Granted, but it's 40°C warmer and affects the whole planet, so half the planet dies from heat, the other half gets flooded as the polar ice packs melt.

I wish it was already the end of the workday.

Granted. Its the end of the workday. You don't remember what happened as time flew by but your boss does and wants to see you about it.

I wish cats were aware of when they are being annoying to humans.

I can't grant that they already do! So instead they are now unaware.

I wish that corruption hadn't gone potentially paradoxical.

Granted. Cats are normal but you get a fish slap.

I wish for some good superbowl snacks.

Granted, but the superbowl is permanently canceled and this years is replaced with 3 hours of curling.

I wish for a monkey.

Granted. You get a monkey. It stares at you constantly, and flings your miniatures about. It never tires of trying to bite your face.
I wish for a Seahawks win tonight.

granted (they actually did win) but there was a riot at the stadium and killed the entire team.

I wish that i wont get stood up by a girl this weekend coming up

Granted. She lays you down instead.

I wish for more time.

Granted, the government decides to make days run on 25 hours instead of 24. You know get an extra hour EVERY day!

I wish for more rain.

Granted, it rains so much that the world as you know it is covered in water and there is no land to speak of anymore. You have no boat.

I wish that I had a boat with an impenetrable hull.

Granted, you forgot the plug.

I wish to become a sea demon.

Granted. You are a jellyfish, 2nd class, in the 31st Antarctic Legion.
I wish for a few days of vacation.

Enjoy your vacation! *Locks you into the cell*

I wish I had a chameleon cloak

Granted. but it only fits little chameleons.

I wish for more hot peppers on my sub. (really, one? WTF)

Granted, you now have three peppers. They're rotten though. (Sorry, that's unfortunate!)

I wish that I had a fully equipped gaming room.

Granted, it is from 1732.

I wish for a flinging monkey.

Granted. Your wish is self corrupting. Thank you.
I wish this snowstorm would blow out to sea.

Granted, it swaps places with a hurricane.

I wish for an Grumman A-10 Thunderbolt II, AKA the warthog.

Granted, it came from the boneyard is is completely gutted and doesn't fly nor have the gatling gun.

I wish the Southern USA wouldn't go insane over an inch of snow and cause my FLGS to close down all week.

Granted, they go nuts over a quarter inch and the store closes for a month.

I wish for a wendigo.

Granted. It *HERSEY! PURGED!* you.

I wish for a flying car.

Granted. Its great until you attempt the McDonalds drive through window.
I wish to play Mordheim all day again like we used to.

Granted but it' a LARP. You get to play a Goblin.

I wish the US had a competition like Eurovision.

Granted but it only leads to an increase in reality tv and talentless celebrities

I wish I had force powers

Granted. You have poor control of them, and incinerate your self with lightning

I wish I could paint my models better.

Granted, unfortunately the precision makes your hands fall off

I wish I wasn't out everytime the postman brings me something nice

Granted. You postman brings you a nice bomb.
I wish people knew the difference between you, your and you're.

Granted, they become the same word and you never know which witch is which


I wish my girlfriend would stop snoring in my ear