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Joey wrote:

I lack the imagination to make things like that up. Like having to make a 3-month plan for something that took me two hours to do. My ability to actually answer a written question according to a pre-defined criteria of quality is actually very, very low.
Wheras explaining to someone my thought/opinion is a straightforward logical process, take the shape of the idea in my mind, find words (which are also shapes) that roughly fit, then bash them together. At no point in this process does the motivation to regurgitate words on demand fit in.

Well, if seriously feel that you are incapable of that sort of writing, than you need to see a psychologist, because there is a disorder at work.

Based on the way you seem to think very highly of yourself, and claim not to understand relatively straightforward social expectations, there could be a serious underlying issue.

Because nearly all jobs require being able to do things differently than you would like.

I'm going with Asperger's syndrome or at least some breed of autism here.

Polonius wrote:
Well, if seriously feel that you are incapable of that sort of writing, than you need to see a psychologist, because there is a disorder at work.

Based on the way you seem to think very highly of yourself, and claim not to understand relatively straightforward social expectations, there could be a serious underlying issue.

Because nearly all jobs require being able to do things differently than you would like.

I don't regard essay writing as a "straightforward social expectation". In fact virtually everyone I know loathes it. I've been unable to write such things for as long as I can remember, I have never written anything like an essay.
And I have worked as a shelf stacker, I am accustomed to doing gakky things that I don't want to do. Mopping up spills, taking out rollers of goods that I know full well don't need to be replenished, dealing with spankers (customers) constantly.
I think if I had an algorithm for how to write an essay, i.e. if I was actually taught how to write, there's no reason why I couldn't, as long as it was predictable and allowed for variables.

dogma wrote:When I say "literature review" I mean the section of a published paper or book that reviews the literature that the author believes is pertinent to the topic.

They are boring, extremely boring, and largely pointless because most readers will know where to place the argument in the context of the body of literature. Or, if they don't, could be easily replaced with the obligatory "works cited" series of pages that addends any published work.

I actually find historiography sections wonderful XD

I read a book on the Waffen SS a while ago and it had an absolutely amazing chapter on the history of the literature about the SS and how historians have altered their views and ideas about the organization over the past 60 years.

Joey wrote:

Polonius wrote:
Well, if seriously feel that you are incapable of that sort of writing, than you need to see a psychologist, because there is a disorder at work.

Based on the way you seem to think very highly of yourself, and claim not to understand relatively straightforward social expectations, there could be a serious underlying issue.

Because nearly all jobs require being able to do things differently than you would like.

I don't regard essay writing as a "straightforward social expectation". In fact virtually everyone I know loathes it. I've been unable to write such things for as long as I can remember, I have never written anything like an essay.
And I have worked as a shelf stacker, I am accustomed to doing gakky things that I don't want to do. Mopping up spills, taking out rollers of goods that I know full well don't need to be replenished, dealing with spankers (customers) constantly.
I think if I had an algorithm for how to write an essay, i.e. if I was actually taught how to write, there's no reason why I couldn't, as long as it was a steady predictable algorithm.

Believe it or not, such algorithms do exist. It may well be because your helpers did all the work for you at college, that they denied you the opportunity to learn how to construct an essay for yourself. In which case, it's simple. Don't look forc ourses that don't have essays. Just teach yourself how to write a basic 5 pararapher, and the essential rules of footnoting, and you'll be find. Computer Science doesn't have amazingly high literary or originality requirements of its written work, just mere regurgitation.

Most of the hiring process involves writing. Resumes, cover letters, thank you letters, follow up letters and all that. As for essays, "Topic, Support, Conclusion" isn't really something that's too hard to grasp. No one expects you to be Mark Twain.

There's no profession that is completely independent of being able to communicate effectively. Have you considered homelessness or indigence?

corpsesarefun wrote:I'm going with Asperger's syndrome or at least some breed of autism here.

It had occurred to me at university, I was receiving help at some point from the National Autistic Society (I think it's them) who...got me a load of books from the library, then refused to help me when I said I didn't know what to actually write.

Ketara wrote:

Joey wrote:

Polonius wrote:
Well, if seriously feel that you are incapable of that sort of writing, than you need to see a psychologist, because there is a disorder at work.

Based on the way you seem to think very highly of yourself, and claim not to understand relatively straightforward social expectations, there could be a serious underlying issue.

Because nearly all jobs require being able to do things differently than you would like.

I don't regard essay writing as a "straightforward social expectation". In fact virtually everyone I know loathes it. I've been unable to write such things for as long as I can remember, I have never written anything like an essay.
And I have worked as a shelf stacker, I am accustomed to doing gakky things that I don't want to do. Mopping up spills, taking out rollers of goods that I know full well don't need to be replenished, dealing with spankers (customers) constantly.
I think if I had an algorithm for how to write an essay, i.e. if I was actually taught how to write, there's no reason why I couldn't, as long as it was a steady predictable algorithm.

Believe it or not, such algorithms do exist. It may well be because your helpers did all the work for you at college, that they denied you the opportunity to learn how to construct an essay for yourself. In which case, it's simple. Don't look forc ourses that don't have essays. Just teach yourself how to write a basic 5 pararapher, and the essential rules of footnoting, and you'll be find. Computer Science doesn't have amazingly high literary or originality requirements of its written work, just mere regurgitation.

That's good advice, it just seems painful and abhorrent to deliberately be obtuse in such a way, as someone who's naturally laconic.
If I said down with an essay writing guide and a question i might be able to crack it. Shame I've run out of questions.

Joey wrote:I think if I had an algorithm for how to write an essay, i.e. if I was actually taught how to write, there's no reason why I couldn't, as long as it was predictable and allowed for variables.

If you've never been taught how to write an essay, I'm surprised. It's a pretty common subject in primary schools here in the states. A quick googling of "How to write an essay" pulls up this useful howto:

http://www.howtowriteanessay.com/index.html

Seriously, there is a formula to writing an essay. Once you get that down (practice makes perfect), you'll find yourself doing these steps almost unconsciously.

That said, to my knowledge, there is no job in the Computer Science field that allows you to do nothing but code, and never requires you to write documentation. It just doesn't exist. I'll be the first to admit that much of what you do in Academia won't be useful to you in your career, but writing is not among them. You may see no point in the silly essays you are required to write, and you would be mostly correct. The content of the essay isn't terribly important, but the underlying skills you develop in actually writing them is what is valuable.

Monster Rain wrote:
There's no profession that is completely independent of being able to communicate effectively. Have you considered homelessness or indigence?

Very good. Exalt and all that

OT, I work for a company that develops GIS software (amongst other things) and I can guarantee you that coding/developing requires a lot of writing. As has been pointed out already, from writing comments in code to end-user documentation, there is no step of the project process that doesn't require effective English skills. The days of shutting oneself away in a basement and hacking away on a keyboard are long gone.

Joey wrote:
Wheras explaining to someone my thought/opinion is a straightforward logical process, take the shape of the idea in my mind, find words (which are also shapes) that roughly fit, then bash them together. At no point in this process does the motivation to regurgitate words on demand fit in.

From this I can tell that you have no interest in gearing your writing toward a reader. This is a huge problem. If you are not willing to cater your expression to fit the informational and stylistic needs of the reader, you honestly do not know how to write.

When you have a boss that thinks in a certain way, you need to organize your writing in the way that they'll understand. You cannot just pick out words that sound nice to you. You MUST be able to lose the ego and say it how they need to hear it. Until you are doing that, you are not actually writing.

filbert wrote:The days of shutting oneself away in a basement and hacking away on a keyboard are long gone.

Well, at least being paid for it amirite?

Monster Rain wrote:

filbert wrote:The days of shutting oneself away in a basement and hacking away on a keyboard are long gone.

Well, at least being paid for it amirite?

Oh, I don't know about that, the gawker network is still doing pretty well

Joey wrote:

Polonius wrote:
Well, if seriously feel that you are incapable of that sort of writing, than you need to see a psychologist, because there is a disorder at work.

Based on the way you seem to think very highly of yourself, and claim not to understand relatively straightforward social expectations, there could be a serious underlying issue.

Because nearly all jobs require being able to do things differently than you would like.

I don't regard essay writing as a "straightforward social expectation". In fact virtually everyone I know loathes it. I've been unable to write such things for as long as I can remember, I have never written anything like an essay.
And I have worked as a shelf stacker, I am accustomed to doing gakky things that I don't want to do. Mopping up spills, taking out rollers of goods that I know full well don't need to be replenished, dealing with spankers (customers) constantly.
I think if I had an algorithm for how to write an essay, i.e. if I was actually taught how to write, there's no reason why I couldn't, as long as it was predictable and allowed for variables.

Ok, take a look at your response.

You start off with an assertion : Essays are not straight forward. You support with later sentences. "everyone I know loathes it."

You than introduce a second assertion "i've been unable to write such things as long as I can remember." You support your overall argument with examples of doing things you don't like doing.

finally, you arrive at a conclusion. "if I learned how, I could write an essay."

It's clunky, and clearly needs a polish, but you just wrote a very short essay. Your thesis is muddled, and your evidence is all over the place, but you had a point you wanted to make and you made it.

Take what you wrote, and apply it to a five paragraph formula. In that, the first is the intro with thesis, than three support paragraphs, than a conclusion.

Example:

My inability to write essays is not the result of lack of effort or ability.

Nearly all people consider the task to difficult and pointless.

There are many examples of my work doing things that are difficult and pointless.

I have never been able to write anything like an essay, on any level.

Based on the above, I feel that if given the chance to learn to properly write, in a way that I could understand, I could write an essy

Flesh out each paragraph with more support, and you've got a passing essay.

Okay well that makes sense. Now I feel stupid.

Your difficulty does not seem to lie with your vocabulary and spelling nor are you inarticulate.

You just don't seem to be able to order your thoughts logically (Something I am only too familiar with). I got myself a couple of professional qualifications and then temped for about a year doing crappy junior IT jobs that paid a little more than shelf stacking.

The 4th job was IT support and I've been there for 6 years on permanent earning 28K. Good money considering that I can spend most of my day on Dakka.

I didn't have to write anything more than a CV and a few application forms. I went for jobs I knew I could do and only stopped temping when I found a place I liked.

It took a year but even the crappiest IT job is better and less soul destroying than working in retail for managers that sold their soul for the ability to cross the road safely.

I don't have a degree because there are just sooo many interesting things to know about sooo many different subjects. I can hold a conversation with people who have degrees on their subject for at least a while but I have never had a subject hold my interest long enough to do a degree.

If you can overcome the one difficulty in your way do it; but at the very least get out of a job where your employer has a vested interest in repeatedly telling you how crap you are.

Joey wrote:
Well if you complete a task using an established process, and you get the required outcome, what more is there to say? You don't have to explain to people why 2 and 2 add up to 4, it's the same with code. I expected x to happen, and it happened. Anything in excess of that is needless verbosity.

My statistics professor phrased it like this:

"Its like voting, dogma, your single vote doesn't matter, but when all those votes get added up it wins someone an election. This is the same, your single result doesn't matter, but when it becomes a body of evidence it does."

I still don't like talking about things that have been done before, but its something I have to do because others expect it and, while I'm plenty talented, I'm not so talented that I can be a complete douche without lots of extra effort.