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you received the bolt round back. Fired into your face.

I inserted some tits.

You get banned from Dakka for 3.7492 nanoseconds.

I insert a killer piggy with a giant fish taped to it.

You get a hellpit abomination.

I insert Witch Elves.

You get the blessing of Khorne. Sadly, that involves lots of spikes and blood.
I insert a squid

You get a 42pg hentai book.

I insert the Fist of the North Star, Haaaa YADADADADADADADADAADAADADDA WAAADAAAA!

You receive a copy of Bakugan season 1.

I put in a Commissar's hat.

You get shot in the back of the head by the commissar.

The commissar sticks his hand in to get his hat.

You get nothing
I insert the 42p hentai book I received previously.

A tentacle comes out of the vending machine and tries to rape you.

I inserted guardsman Bob.

You get Guardsman marbo. Yep.

I insert $3.50.

your receive 40019.00 rupiah

Inserted cultist chan.

You get a note. 'Sorry, this is not the recycle bin.'

I insert my helmet.

You get a button that tells you you can disable it from being displayed. Ace!

I insert 4chan... and hope that the machine doesn't explode.

You receive a small box containing a mixture of pornography, the printed out posts of very angry men and the pure essence of the id.

I put in a Valkyrie. Somehow.

You get a dumpster.

I inserted the noob bomb.

You me.... ME!

I insert a slice of toast (with butter)

You get a cat with a piece of buttered toast tied to it.

I insert the correct Key card.

The machine opens, and commands you to reload it.

I insert a 3D printer.

You get a 4D printer.

I insert a wiggleing moose tounge. Nothing else, just the wiggleing tounge.

You get licked.

I insert an anvil.

You get a piano. A falling one.

I insert a Chaos Space Marine.

You get a squad of Khorne Berserkers.

I insert a case of ACME Dynamite, with a lit fuse...

You get an activated melta bomb.

I insert Flak Armor.

You get an official "Imperium-Approved!" T-shirt

I hug the machine.

You get murdered by zombie pigmen.

Inserted an IOU note.

You get a void field generator.

I insert an old rug.

You get a copy of the Codex Astartes.

I insert a piece of string.

You get a cup of chocolate mousse [the chaos gods made a spelling mistake]

I inserted Macha.

You get Mocha.

I insert a hollow rabbit.

You get chocolate eggs.

I insert money from a few different countries.