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Granted. Its on a subscription only channel your cable provider does not carry.

I wish my chopper was not on the neighbor's roof.

granted, it falls off and breaks when it hits the ground

I wish my dm would let me play as a dragon in d&d

Granted. You are playing as the dragon on the tapestry in a noble's bedroom. Have fun...

I wish I could find more games of Dystopian Wars.

Granted. You find them stacked in a landfill.

I wish for bigger fireworks.

Granted, but they shower you and your house with fire.

I wish all the stupid people would shape up or ship out.

Granted. Now everything is ship-shaped.

I wish for some cold beer.

Granted, your beer is stored in a high pressure canister of liquid Nitrogen.

I wish I was living in a detached house.

Granted. It detatched from the rest when a sinkhole opened up beneath it.

I wish doing the right thing was not so difficult.

Granted. It detatched from the rest when a sinkhole opened up beneath it.

I wish doing the right thing was not so difficult.

Granted, but you get nothing out of it

I wish Kaldor Draigo was a Car muffler

Granted, he's now Your car muffler. Sadly, it got sucked into the warp, and will only reappear during daemon incursions.

I wish someone would post on the King of the Hill thread. I've been king of that thread for far to long, and the crown weighs heavily on my brow.

Granted. Someone posts there, only to be trumped by you once again. Hail Bob.

I wish this forum was as busy as it used to be.

granted. this draws 4chan's attention and we get bombarded by anonymous and their "low orbit ion cannons"... suddenly, no more dakkadakka, I think yakface deserves an apology.

I wish the internet would engage in an all out war involving spam and LOIC's until tumblr and reddit group up to spam all of cyberspace with pictures of kittens.

Granted, sadly we all develop kitten-picture allergies.

I wish for more Dakka

A goblin comes out of nowhere and stabs you.

i wish to become a Primarch.

granted. you become lost in the warp for a year and end up on a deamon world staring into the eyes of a kawaii looking keeper of secrets many eyes... or are they eyes?

I wish i could find that cat from yesterday.

Granted, you find the cat from yesterday, but it's dead today. Unable to let this be, you bury it in the pet cemetery and then bad stuff happens.

I wish cadian shock troop kits came with face mask alternate heads, so I wouldn't have spend the same amount of monies to get them from forge world.

Granted, the masks however are too big for their respective heads, on the bright side you could survive against a few canisters of mustard gas should the need arise.

I wish you would stop thinking I was suddenly addicted to cats.

Granted. Now we know you are addicted to cats.

I wish my cat had stats for 40k.

Granted, but his (her) leadership is a measly 2 (please tell me you get that).

I wish for cat food to attract the cat I'm looking for

Granted, but a dog comes along and eats the cat.

I wish for a pet dog.

Granted, but a cat comes along and eats the dog.

I wish for a pet cat.

Granted. It shreds your furniture and books.

I wish these storms would quit.

Granted
enter tsunami

No wish, Painful fish-slapping commences.

I wish for some more ideas.

Granted. You get ideas for the next 3 saw movies, experience is the best way to develop ideas no?

I wish I still had the fish I was slapped with... I'm hungry

Granted, but they are five hundred days old and a giant mutant tapeworm finds itself in your stomach.

I wish I was at a nightclub

Granted. but it's five hundred years old and a giant tapework finds itself in your drink. (couldn't resist)

I wish for food.

Your food comes alive and eats you.

Your lack of a wish gives the dark gods licence over it. All kittens are now part ice cream.

I wish people were no longer able to create fanfictions of anything.